Autism and obsessions

Autism can lead to its own brand of obsession, rumination and looping. It is different from OCD, but quite linked in some ways. Autistic people often have special interests and ADHD often have periods of hyperfocus. Often this is good to follow passions, but sometimes it leads to obsession.
Obsession with one's own thoughts can be self centered, which is hard to grapple with, but we need to acknowledge it is not our fault but still work on stepping out of ourselves to be aware and open to the people around us.
I recommend Rowan Ellis video essay about OCD.

[@nerdexproject]

One of the main issues with my (autistic) (probably INFP) ex wasn't her talking about herself (I'm INFJ, I love listening anyway) but that she would never consider a compromise. Things (plans) had to be as she had them in mind and no different or her mood was in the dumps.
Anyway, thank you for the video! Was great to listen to and think about. :)

[@sicparvismagna1294]

Hello Ingrid,
I hope you are doing fine.
I do somehow relate to you concerning the internet. I don't have a TV even if I want watch it for something I do check it on the website and I don't have a radio.
Oh I somehow understand, all of my childhood to early adulthood I lived in ab appartement tgat has poor isolation snd we had a very noisy neighbor and it was exhausting.
I always appreciate when you upload videos .
It was interesting hearing from you on ocd.
I think I can have patience to listen to you :)
Well Ingrid, don't be harsh on yourself. Each one of us has difficulty managing some things in their lives.
For me some people think I'm antisocial or don't like them simply I tend not to be attend the events they usually go to because simply I don't feel really comfortable in certain circumstances like clubbing. Even if it didn't put through a loop but it may give a wrong impression that I don't like people or don't like to hang out with them it's just some things are not for me.
I'm sorry about your infj friendship.
Ruminating can be really difficult...
Yes it's your channel but I have always felt like I'm in a cosy place listening to a friend.
I do have a problem finding distractions for my ruminations and usually the internet is the only way and even that may not work either sometimes.
Again thanks for these lovely videos, once again you have touched sensitive points.
Wishing you will feel better soon.
Take care Ingrid

[@vondelpete]

I guess I'm always obsessing and ruminating over various things, and it's very much my natural, happy self. As I've gotten older I'm more selective about who I open up to about these things, but it also makes me more closed off and uncomfortable with a lot of people, apart from my closest friends. And I think those people really have to understand and come to peace with the fact that I'm going to be talking a lot about different interests and that's the sort of person I am, lol. I often like INFPs because they're more willing to open up to me and share their stories and thus don't really get too offended that I'm talking about myself, and make sure they're also talking about themselves. Plenty of INFJs can do this too, though.
Anyway I think in the past I was afraid of the world of Fe and how to do the social 'dance', and maybe I still am. But I think there's a way to be balanced, to have intense interests and thoughts that can be shared with some people, and sometimes to share just a portion of those at the right time, and then with people we don't trust, to keep them under lock and key lol.

[@soupricat5572]

I relate to the obsessive part a lot, and it caused me some trouble because on some occasions I followed the urge to do something about it, and it pushed me to be quite annoying with my self-corrections and questions to other people (for reassurance that everything is ok) and then questioning of all kinds of opinions even of the people who wished to help, and thinking what consequences or implications those might have. I felt really ashamed afterwards for taking people's time. Especially communication with others is very difficult because there are so many opportunities to say something wrong (since we all have just a limited perspective to perceive the world and judge from). So after every conversation, I ruminate painfully about every moment and especially about the ambiguous words or too specific statements that I expressed as if they were something general. After every comment, I contemplate whether I should have posted it at all and whether there is something insensitive, one-sided, superficial, poorly expressed, or selfish (which sometimes leads to hours of editing a small post). And when I know I cannot correct a mistake, especially if I think I did someone wrong in my words even indirectly, I can gradually start feeling physically and emotionally sick. Every real or imagined mistake can be hard to recover from, although it's a part of learning and growth. But, in my opinion, being obsessive to a degree can also be channelled into something positive: obsessively done research brings the most exciting discoveries; obsessive thoughts about a topic can produce a well-structured text and the euphoric immersion in your interest; an obsessively edited/reviewed work provides more insight and saves you from inattentive mistakes that can ruin an overall good idea. Your obsession with videos produces many deep and interesting thoughts! Even if some topics are not understood or taken seriously by everyone, there are so many people (like me) who enjoy listening to your ideas!
P.S. Sorry for the long comment (I'll definitely regret talking about myself too much :D but as the subject discussed is quite personal, I thought it might be an appropriate context for sharing some experience-based thoughts). I wanted to write some more about whether sometimes what people call 'selfish' signifies something else, not the nature of the judged person's behaviour or intentions, but I'll refrain from writing a book-long comment because I am not sure how to word it concisely

[@gorvo31]

Hey Ingrid, Maybe the lack of internet could turn out to be a blessing in disguise ultimately, could be a purifying thing.... refreshing and resetting. Of course though, it's easy for me to say being a dinosaur who unplugs for a month at a time here and there anyway. You never know though... I understand being in those obsessive periods. An English fellow YT friend referred to me as a "fellow anorak" being into niche subjects too. 😊
All the best as ever your way. -Carm

[@radishraven9]

Yes i made a lot of videos during this time 😂 i can't really unplug and it was a huge upgrade in my life to have wifi again 😅

[@trueimageyt]

16:38
This far in. I am relating a lot to things you are saying. Have been wondering again lately if I really am autistic. I too think I am self-centered... in fact in the same style of self-centered you are. I even told someone recently that I was "self-centered" and judging by the upload date you made this video on the same day I told that person that I thought that about myself.
Not only is it maybe an autistic thing but it is probably an introvert thing, I think.

[@radishraven9]

Thanks for watching 😊 yes i think infps are self centered but that is not a bad thing. I think it is also linked to autism as autistic communication style often lead to a sense that of being self centered.

[@RayanLegris]

Well I relate a lot to your experience. I had some similiar obsessions earlier this year about the MBTI (which is how I found you) and autism. My more stable special interests revolve around history and software engineering (my job yay).
I know too well how obsessions about people can be tricky to deal with. Both for the other person (feeling of being intruded) and for us (always reminding ourselves to not creep the other with our obsession). Thankfully it doesn't happen too often. It's not an easy subject to talk about. And yeah when things go south it can lead to ruminating about missed opportunities for months or years : asking ourselves if we did a bad thing, if we misinterpreted something, how things could have gone better if there wasn't such a misshap. While the obsessions come from autism, the ruminations seem to be more of an ADHD thing (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria).
I don't classify the internet as an addiction. It's just that it is the only place where we can find people who share our specific interests or who relate to the way we experience life (other neurodivergent people). I know how important it is and I hope you get your Wifi back soon enough. :)
And yes we are somewhat self-centered but it is very different from being egotistical.

[@noturbo]

i crocheted a giant rug when i was a kid and i am a boy 🥰i remember enjoying it maybe its the repetitive thing?

[@radishraven9]

Yes i like the repetitive thing, it is soothing 😊