Alone in the Dark: Illumination (Zero Punctuation)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ต.ค. 2024
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This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Alone in the Dark: Illumination.
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"See how easy it is?! I just made that up!!"
I want to say this to Hollywood so fucking bad right now. Enough of the reboots, remakes and reallys, as in really, really, really, really, really, really dumb.
K4RN4GE911 sorta wish they did that with horror movies seriously sharknado by far the WORST thing they could ever make and there's a 3rd one on the way HOW IS THERE A 3RD ONE !!!!!
***** cx
Ookami inazuma Well...Sharknado isn't a Hollywood movie. It's made by Syfy Films (as in, the TV channel) and distributed by a company who specializes in B movies. People watch it because it's the epitome of "so bad it's good." So, they know the movies aren't good. That's kind of the point.
I apologize if you're just joking and being sarcastic, but it's not exactly obvious.
I always watch your reviews before buying a game. I havent bought a game in years...
"why do you not watch game reviews mr?"
"think about it, why?"
the boy ponders, thinking about why the old man does not wish to watch game reviews even though they are for his benefit. and then it hit him
"because if you did, you wouldn't enjoy playing video games anymore."
@@azzzanadra honestly this is pretty true
@@electromancer2645 i guess listening to reviews stirs our imagination into believing that the game we hear about is the worst game ever when it is clearly not, or that simple flaws are not acceptable.
watch yahtzee's review of red dead redemption, you would think it's a bad game when he himself stated it was good.
@@azzzanadra it's the viewer's duty to learn to read between the lines, especially with someone who self id's as more of an entertainer than a reviewer.
@@chukyuniqul he speaks his mind, but even he can change his opinion as future reviews show.
"But I really think the series has only been going downhill since Final Facility VII."
Pls pls Pls make a demo for your new game
Am I the only one that enjoyed final facility x and xiii?
Escapist
I dunno. I'd say Final Facility VII was the slight beginning of the decline and had for a long while wobbeled between steap declines and victorious returns to form. I'd only really say that it was XIII that successfully slam dunked the series into "Lost hope" territory.
....I'm sorry for taking this joke too seriously...
I didn't like VIII that much.
IX is one of my favorites in the series.
X is another one I really enjoyed, (especially being on the new system when released), X-2 didn't do much for me.
Have not played XI, nor XIV.
I think I am one of the few people who liked XII. And XIII seemed to be lacking something.
Bad pun is bad
Yeah it's a special kind of embarrassing when ALONE in the Dark is a co-op game.
At least it doesn't have a santa clause suit like Alone in the Dark 2 did... Right?
Krebons1200 No, at this point I'd welcome the Santa Clause suit. It would at least be weird. I can get behind weird. Co-op horror is so boilerplate now.
Bluecho4 Saying Co-op Horror Shooter is like saying Zombie Survival Minecraftrip ripoff.
Your mouth starts to taste bad before you even finish the words, like a child trying to finish the green mush on their plate with the worst part being someone is going to make the same thing for dinner tomorrow.....
Alone in the dark "illumination" no less.
What, don't you guys love co-op games? Especially HORROR co-op games? Don't you wanna share the spooktacular experience with your friends for some extra spooks and hilarious scarecam footage?
So, wait a minute. Let me get this straight.
The game is called "Alone in the Dark".
The objective is to use 4 players to expose monsters to light and kill them.
So...
You aren't alone, and you aren't in the dark.
Wow.
Had more fun with Obscure 1.
Rename it to "Together in the Light". Or better yet, dump it in the bin and forget about it.
@QQQ This comment is 3 years old and you felt the need to add a completely unnecessary reply? Yeah the original was good, I never said it wasn't.
A game called "in the"
Am I the only one who is still upset by how Silent Quarries was cancelled?
Whats that. the new silent hill by the cycopath i am quite fond of, hideo kajima.
Matthew Rubenstein Yes! With those damned Achievements/Trophies like the 4 hours EyeSpy game and that flaming Hop Scotch minigame! Thanks! I'm gonna be having nightmares about that song again for another week now!
"As opposed to all those lovely well-illuminated crypts, where all the dance parties take place."
I mean, one does hear stories about the Paris Catacombs
Crypt of the Necromancer would like to know you're location
1:23 "You're getting a FULL review!"
4:37 "I'm going to review the remainder of the missions from their names alone..."
The duality of man
@@Banalisis The stupidity of man*
…so it's like shitty mix of Left 4 Dead and Alan Wake?
***** but that "kill the monster when they're in light" is basicly ripped off from Alan Wake
*Heavy sweating* Yeah basically. Which is disappointing to me because L4D mixed with Alan Wake sounds awesome if it was done competently.
Floydthefuckbag Like a more buffed out version of American Nightmare.
Also, literally the Spitter from L4D2.
*Heavy sweating* pretty much >.< we burn it
Good news, everyone. Final Facility VII is getting a reboot.
But what about Final Facility VI?
Francesco Violano I know that was everyone's favorite, but c'mon we didn't sell 15 million copies of Final Facility XIV - A Production Line Reborn, so you can wait a couple of years while we make another Crypt Plunderer reboot. This time we're just calling it Cleara Rockefeller, named after the main character, of course!
Francesco Violano Wasn't this released as Final Facility III?
TheTrohl Yes, but Final Facility III was something completely different than what the United Arab Emirates knows as Final Facility III. Final Facility III takes place in the early 20th century / late 19th century, where 4 orphans meant to represent the four elements of the Steam Age must work long hours in fields and/or in factories for very little pay. It's said to be the hardest in the series. Meanwhile, Final Facility VI, what we know as Final Facility III, takes place in a fantastical setting where labor laws have pretty much wiped out the use of facilities, where such things are only now being emulated by something called Magic Tech, or technology as emulated by magical means.
But guys final facility 4 was the best.
So they got rid of the 'Dark' and now got rid of the 'Alone'. So is this game just called "In the"?
Nope
Together in the fire
They swapped alone with dick and dark with ass
tbonevideos23 This man deserves a round of applause!
Llorrac TN '...in the...: Illumination', to be precise. Not to be confused with 'Alone in the ...' or '...in the Dark'.
Llorrac TN BUT WAIT! Soon it shall take place solely outside and just be "the"
The hunter should probably be careful with that flamethrower, or else he'll end up needing some ALOE In The Dark.
Ooh, nice burn
I don't HATE this game, I just pity the entire thing as a whole. Alone In The Dark, a once-venerable monument in gaming history, being the progenitor of survivor horror as a genre, now reduced to a fifteenth-rate Left 4 Dead knockoff.
I'd say "Creepy Crypt" sounds more like a Spyro level than a Banjo-Kazooie level
4:41
Crypt of the Necrodancer.
A mild remembrance of George Carlin's musings on the concept of the flamethrower. At some point in history, someone uttered the words 'boy, I sure wish those people were on fire, but I'm way too far away to get the job done. If only there were some way to THROW FLAME on them.' That would have been the end of it, but he happened to mention it to his friend. His friend that was good with tools. *Jet of flame spurts from a nozzle, igniting the general area* 'Say, mighty interesting idea ya had there!' *Turns handle, causing nozzle to spew flames toward a nearby building* 'You invented a f***ing flamethrower. Of course you did.'
An _Alone in the Dark_ game where you're surrounded in bright light? I was going to say that's like a Sonic game where you move really slowly, but then I remembered that _Sonic Labyrinth_ exists.
Can't you change the name of the channel to Zero Punctuation already?
inigo137 the escapist owns this channel and they have other series (though they don't publish them on yotube...)
And Burn It Shall why not escapist zero punctuation?
James Lewis and now they're closed
inigo137 Why does the name matter?
inigo137 Someday they might land another content producer worth a da- ...
Nope, couldn't get that one through with a straight face. They really do seem to have a knack for driving off their talent.
Everyone's raving about this "Final Fantasy VII" joke, but I can't get over the fact that he mentioned Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds!
I love that they pull out the gem of the word "sonorous" and apply it to a sewer. Of all the things which are more potent when making sound, a sewer isn't scary in the intended way when filled with a chorus of echoing shits.
4:43 way to fucking spooky scared me for life unsubbing.
"The scenery's in cahoots". For some reason that phrase was very funny. Probably because I've played games with similar problems, and there's nothing more frustrating than having the world literally be against you in a game.
When he explained the light weakness I was about to disagree with him because I thought the plant idea of of sounded interesting and sort of made sense, like nature conquering death. Then sort of embarrassed that it wasn't the game he was talking about.
Did anyone else see the title, swear under their breath and exclaim, "you've got to be kidding me"? How exactly did another Alone in the Dark game get made after the last one?
They already got upstaged by Alan Wake, a game where you spend a large portion of the game in the dark and alone (but still didn't live up to the hype or scratch that survival horror itch that at this point has been so omnipresent it might as well be a medical condition).
Wow, Yahtzee predicted Crypt of the Necrodancer. That is amazing.
"Shamrock Shake to the eyeballs" got an audible chuckle from me.
The 2008 Alone in the dark game was a rancid bag of pig bollocks and vomit and they somehow managed to make this one even fucking worse than that one!
That deserves some kind of award.
"It's like online dating all over again!"
God damn that killed me xD
So this really is "The Adventures of Edward Carnby: Serial Arsonist."
Completely agree about the Toowong station bit
Coming this fall, a heartwarming tale of survival, sacrifice, and ultimately, redemption. Tom Hanks stars in a Ron Howard film, "The Murgh became Vurgh in Lurgh."
Thanks for making videos so often! You're one of the last youtubers I can rely on these days, always making insane metaphors and deliciously cynical content, that I know and love so well. You're my favorite youtuber, Yahtzee. Thank you!
"because it should be put back there, with extreme force!"
Oh Yahtzee
As a Brisbanite, I really enjoyed the Toowong reference!
That feeling you get when listening to a Zero Punctuation review of Alone In The Dark, lose track of his train of thought while smoking a fat bowl, catch up and still get the gist of his complaint because of how long this poor franchise has been milked like a dying cow still hooked into the automatic milker.
Sad.
dude, you just described my last 20 minutes
3:56 I pictured that conversation being between Abraham and Father Gabriel XD
This has aged poorly
"Monster turn vulnerable when in the light"
You know, I wouldn't say no to a co-op Alan Wake game.
Bahahaha I appreciate being local enough to know where Toowong is and why you shouldn’t catch the city line from there after 8pm (or especially the Ipswich line)
How has he never reviewed Fantasy World Dizzy?
because it would be unfair to show kiddies decent paralax scrolling :3
Adnan Aouad He did a let's play on his channel of it.
Been thinking the same as Yahtzee for so long (regarding multiplayer games) and went through the exact same thing he did when playing this game... even as far as creating a room and waiting 30 minutes to see IF ANYONE even does as much as enter it, always thought this game might have something interesting but oh boy was I wrong to get it before it was launched
To all of you bitching about him doing Arkham Knight, go check the official website.
The light thing was good and made sense in Alan Wake. I wish there was a new open world more story driven/detective mystery type Alan Wake game.
Searching for clues and stuff in the day, seeking out clues or safe spaces during the evening, uncovering the mystery of the darkness.
It was such a cool concept it was a bit of a shame that it got a bit run and gun towards the end.
Let's all be alone *together*.
yeah, lets be alone together, in the daylight, with plenty of ammunition, lol
In all fairness, Toowong is one of the nicer stations on the line.
If you ask me, Final Facility 6 was really the high point of the series.
That Hatfall game is hilarious. My favorite part was running an LTD. I did so well they threw me a party.
I played one for the ps2...
And it was horrible, why does every map pointer point me at a wall, why was it all on fire, what was the sound design, this is a game i wouldnt wish upon my worst of enemies, instead i would hang them and myself
I think we've found a good candidate for Yahtzee's bottom five.
The Nick Cave joke sure had unfortunate timing!
I love that he mentioned Toowong station. No one outside of Brisbane Australia would get that.
I agree whole heartedly, the series HAS gone down hill since Final Facility VII!
So you're not alone, and it's not dark. Should the game just be renamed In The?
Also, I'm surprised Yahtzee didn't mention the legendarily bad 2005 movie adaptation, naturally directed by Uwe Boll.
Forced online-only multiplayer? Extorting money from the ashes of a long-dead franchise? No story or innovative game mechanics? Ohhhh boy.... *Nestles in with bag of popcorn*
I come from a dark and terrible future, friend. Many franchises have succumbed to the allure of forced online multiplayer, exploitative monetization, and stagnation. Even the most creatively bizarre, story-driven single player experiences have not been immune.
...Metal Gear has fallen.
"Well illuminated crypt where all the dance parties are"
*cough* Crypt of the Necrodancer *cough*
This is probably my favourite review yet
The comments on this video are getting kinda dark
dark
dark
dark
am I funny yet?
Calum Byrne Not realy , but i'll praise you for the effort
Judging a game by itself sounds like a terrible idea, I would love to watch it.
Everyone knows Final Facility VII is the best one. People who say Final Facility VI is the best are just plain crazy.
TheGenerationExtreme TGX Final Facility XIII is also a good game. It's not great. But it's certainly not as bad as people like to say it is. It's just kind of ok.
Alex Campbell
Nah, Final Facility X is easily the best.
Final Facility Tack Kits is pretty good too.
Alex Campbell Final Facility XV is gonna be the best one, because it's not gonna feature a not so exciting turn based combat. Hell, Final Facility XV demo alone is more fun than the entire franchise so far.
final facility XV was an amazing game; gripping story, awesome combat, great music.
shame final fantasy XV was shite though
Remember the Uwe Boll film
One does not simply speak of that blasphemy.
@deathpyre42: Nah. I think the loophole in the German tax code Uwe Boll was abusing has been closed, so no more terrible video game movies from him just to avoid his taxes.
If only because of how shit it is, and because making low-budget movie adaptions of video games for the purpose of exploiting a legal loophole to get out of paying taxes is a shady move.
AitD bears no nostalgic value for me. It's an idiotic parody of a lovecraftian horror, it controls like molasses and looks like shit. However, thanks to AitD, in few years we got such amazing games as Resident Evil and Silent Hill. And then AitD died. Let it rest in peace, there's no need to exhume the rotting corpse. But no, not only do they dig it up, but now they're pissing on the corpse. Cooperatively.
So basically sonic in a nutshell
Mostafa Shahin Except that early Sonic games were good games in general
It really needs a remake.
pepper Mill Alone in the Dark 2008 2? Make it happen.
YouSoSpice I mean the original needs one.
They missed the opportunity by calling the level quiet quarry, not silent quarry....or maybe questionable quarry?
Laughed my ass off (it is currently on my bedroom floor) watching his Judging by the cover video.
Nick Cave!
Sadly, I can picture Konami trying to reboot Silent Hill by calling the next installment either "Silent Quarry" or "Silent Valley"
accquizzer They actually nearly did that if you watch the unnamed prototype by Western Devs set in Arizona.
Why did they bother? They must have been contractually obligated to make another game, and got distracted with making another game and forget at some point that they where supposed to finish the game, then couldn't be bothered to polish it up before vomitting it into a steam sale.
The Nick Cave and the bad seed joke god dammit x'D
I once heard about AITD:I, even saw a gameplay or two. BUT DAMN, I never thought they released this fuckin' thing! I mean NOBODY LIKED THE IDEA! The AITD1 remake ALPHA looked better then this, why they didnt finish that?! WTF was Atari thinkin?!
I used to love alone in the dark :( I had A new Nightmare on ps1 and it was great
it's sad the game that defiend survival horror trying desperately to stay relevant by ripping every other game
I think you ignored AITD: The New Nightmare when mentioning the sequels. It wasn't so good it deserves special mention or anything, but it also wasn't as horrible as what came after. It introduced the whole "shine the light on monsters" BS, and adhered to RE's old school "find typewriter ribbons to save your game" crap as well.
Watching these at 0.5x speed is something I didn't think I needed in my life until I did it.
I miss hearing him make references too Brisbane 🤣
Original AitD protagonsit looks like a character from Leisure Suit Larry. I bet that if he was voiced, he would have a squeaky Porky Pig voice and a craven persona to go along with it.
''Enemies that become vulnerable in light''... Sounds like Alan Wake's game ?
"Trade you ciggies for a Wank" ....Ha ha ha!
"thats what happens when you try to get home from Toowong station at 1 in the morning" hahahaha its so fucking true it hurts
hey I live close to Toowong station and I take offense.
A 12 minute long unskippable advert before a 5 minute video. Fun.
So it's basically Angel Summoner and the BMX bandit lol
I've never heard so many references relating to Brisbane from any youtuber
I really want a Flamin' Fuckthrower
But I'm all outta fucks
OK I think this is one game that should've remained UNKOWN there cuz frankly my BRAINCELLS are killing each other off one by one to try and FORGET I even SAW This TRAVESTY.
Dear God "COMPULSORY" Online gameplay FFS.... and haveing the whole thing BUILT around the multiplayer, another f*Ck up if anything.
and Multiplayer in a horror, I mean it could work if they were as UNARMED as u were and were only good for HELPING solve puzzles quicker or SOMETHING, But frankly it just KILLS any chance of horror...NEXT.
The opposite of a hill is a valley, not a quarry.
A quarry is manmade and dug out of the ground, usually for the purpose of mining, whereas valleys are naturally occurring depressions in terrain.
So it actually should be "Silent Valley", not "Silent Quarry".
And incidentally there happens to be a park named "Silent Valley" not too far from where I live.
Yeah, the Alone in the Dark series went downhill since the games stopped calling Edward Carnby "The Reptile". That was a badass nickname, painting him like a cold-blooded guy who could seriously wreck your business if it meant solving a case.
An ad for hatfall? I'll have a look at it.
oh yes, the sound cuts out every time you enter a menu or lose and hitting the "toggle sound" button does nothing to remedy this. I'm assuming if i want the full experience i'll have to pay five dollars US for the same repetitive joke.
There's irony and then there's just flat out imitation. This is dangerously close to the latter when it comes to mediocre indie games with high hopes and low budgets.
So Alone in the Dark started with co-op... and with a title about light?
Clearly the game makers didn't put any effort into appealing to the audience, so why put effort into playing the game?
i didnt even know toowong station still ran at 1am in the morning...
broad analysis. the best lol
Final Facility 13 was the worse entry so far though
two ads in one video.....really youtube....really? -_-
Alone in the Dark, Alone in the Shelves. Poor Franchise. I guess we'll have to wait until the new Call of Cthulhu game is out...
That foolish game thought it could escape the wrath of the Yahtzee. That's at least a few extra floggings before the castration chamber
Alone in the Dark shouldn't be dead. It still has potential - great potential to return some good ol' horror flick into our hands. You have a spooky ancient darkness vibe kind of thing, you have a private (paranormal) investigator and an anthropologist (I am talking about Aline C. not Sarah... what's up with that?) working together. It could bring us so much more story I mean, you could have made a TV series out of this. I just can't get over it. Even though I am aware that the latest part of AitD (Illumination) have buried all hope (Gods, it is dreadful. Fuck you Atari). Especially now, when all the great horror titles have faded, we could use some good old survival horror with a story (not the jumpscares we have today). I dream about this franchise to get back on it's feet. Maybe a kickstarter campaign could've helped? Sadly, as long as the IP rights belongs to Atari, Alone in the Dark will stay in the dark. Hopefully, just hopefully not forever.
Am I right?
The monsters become vulnerable in light? I'm surprised Yahtzee didn't make a "this is an Alan Wake mechanic ripoff" thing there.
On Multiplayer. ProJared tried it. Guess what? When you pause, the "quit pause" button is closed behind a character sheet, I believe (sorry if wrong). And you can't click it. Clicking it will cause for the Character sheet to be clicked on, but since you are in the pause menu, IT DOESN'T WORK! Not even esc works
It's so frustrating to see what could be a interesting game franchise ruined every damn time. The original remake had atrocious controls ( God, the driving sections... ) and apart from a half-assed love interest, might've been not too terrible. This is just.. Why? Remember, someone, somewhere saw this, thought, 'MONEY MAKER' and rubber-stamped the production.
What I got from this review is that napalm is more powerful than jesus. All praise napalm!
If there is a game that makes me really sad is this one, the developers weren't even trying, there is a need for a survival horror game in the market, Konami was about to do a genuinely scary survival horror but they cancelled it the fucking turds.
Yahtzee I would want to be your steam friend and play all these shitty games with you ^3^
Could you quite possibly do a Helldiver's review? It's a highly satirical fast paced isometric twin stick co-operative shooter what smacks of a glorious mashup of starship troopers, halo, x-com with a little bit of Warhammer 40k (I like to think of the Helldiver's as a soft of stepping stone between the imperial guard and the space marines.)
The catch with the co-op is that friendly fire is always on, this isn't a huge problem however as if you are hosting you can simply kick anyone who is souring the mood with no vote or delay, their avatar falls down dear and they're booted all the way back to the title screen for their shenanigans, friendly fire does add quite a bit of challenge as it means that you can either save your allies from a horrible death with a well placed shot, or grant them a relatively painless one.
"I'd expect any of you to do the same for me!"
Alone in the Dark: Illumination? Doesn't that defeat the purpose?? Then it's just "Alone...". If I wanted to play 'Alone' I'd just do what I normally do; stay at home and have little to no social life, except without the video games to make me feel like I'm accomplishing something in life.