Oh beautiful Susan. I missed the live show! I'm so excited for this! Exactly 💯 what I need right now. I'm trying to figure out what my partner needs. He's a good man but we have gotten off track. Part of me wants to leave but sometimes we feel so connected.
Can you pinpoint the exact issues? Have any of your conflicts been successfully resolved?. Do you know the key that unlocked the issue? There’s so many things. I’d love to ask you. But if you’ve been able to get through one problem, you may be able to find your way through the others.
@@SusanWinter I guess the bottom line is I am trying to figure out how to handle it best. I've had periods where I've gotten upset and just want to run away. But I am not sure if it's a fear of it turning into a problem I had in a previous relationship. We have both been in narcissistic relationships before. If things don't go well he will stop communicating and then I back off also. I think he feels he should wait for things to pass. I guess later it doesn't seem as big of an issue. It is more like I wanted something to be handled differently. Sometimes if he is home I will go do something on the porch, read, work something for me. He will after a bit ask me if I want to do something. Whatever caused the rift disappears. I just wish I had a better overall plan. I would have never imagined this having these moments where things seem off but yet other times seem to go back to connection. What should my goal be to focus on the best parts of him and hope the rest follows? I'm not sure I can imagine being with anyone else. It's crazy. I'm almost 52 and this is really the first time I have felt I could say this. I might have thought in the beginning I could but I didn't really. It was more like infatuation or getting caught in the fun and excitement which is fine just not the same or what I wanted.
Upon further thought it also may be sensing an emotional distance. I'm not sure if the solution might be as simple as spending time just focusing on myself and my own thoughts and projects in those moments. I've been reading a lot about how our energy really has an effect and maybe he needs to sense my attention elsewhere and come back to me energetically. He's really a good man. I do feel I love him and he loves me. I am not worried about that. He is honorable and I'm not concerned there. I know he is faithful to me even though we don't have any official promise. He keeps his word.
@@Creating2413Your words sound precisely like my thoughts. I understand you and I want to let you know that if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. Having a great foundation with your partner is essential, and if you can pinpoint those concerns you have about/with your partner, you’ll be able to move onto the next step: understanding why there are conflicts and how to move forward. Life is beautiful and always remember to put yourself first!
@reykau thank you. I think I feel it is meant to be. It is more navigating. I do have trouble putting myself first but I am learning. It's the journey. He has told me at times he senses a pushing energy. I think women like to know something right away when it would be better to just take a breath and wait. There seems to be this human inclination when I step back he moves forward. Ugh! I didn't hear from him and then when I put my energy on to work and other activities I get lots of messages. I was upset but I think I need to take it less seriously.
I feel like this is still not enough if they come back once you redirect your energy. Because they come back to receive again what they lost, which is your energy and attention. They don't want you, they just want to benefit about your energy. If they would want you, they would have never left because they were not with you for your supplies but because they saw your value. In short, if they left they don't see you valuable. If they come back, it is because they lost access to your supplies.
I haven't watched your videos in a while, but landed on this one yesterday. It inspired me to start to redirect my energy. I logged out of Reddit, which I'd been using nearly every day for months to vent and ruminate about this person and our prior situationship. I'm not even kidding: within two hours, he sent me multiple messages reminiscing about something from our past. Before this, I hadn't heard from him in weeks. Don't worry, I'm approaching it cautiously and still will make efforts to redirect my energy. But I couldn't help but laugh at the apparent immediate effect it had.
love-videos! My five-year relationship came to an end a month ago. The love of my life chose to leave, and I can't stop thinking about him; I love him so deeply. I've done everything I can to win him back, but nothing seems to work. I'm feeling frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my efforts to move on, I just can't shake the thoughts of him. I don’t know why I’m sharing this, but I really miss him
Hi Mary. You’re in the safe place here with a lot of support. The people who come to this channel are really very well intentioned and are all busy working on themselves just as you are. I sincerely urge you to consider working a session. And if that seems, too much for you right now, please please download Breakup Triage; the Cure for Heartache. FREE on audible and only a few dollars on Amazon if you don’t have an audible subscription.
9:30 This has happened to me a few times. It's inexplicable... but once I have finally "Let go", that is when the exes start reaching out with the "I miss you" 's 🙄
It’s infuriating, but it is true. The minute we take the energetic action as well as the external action… They magically reappear with renewed interest.
Susan., Great show. , When my bf left me he told me it was about him after the fact, I didn’t know the why as all was great for us. We had some adult conversations a couple weeks after and now we got it sorted. We are moving forward . I was really devastated when it happened out of the blue and nothing happened that I was aware of . Sometimes it’s something in the other persons head, perhaps not feeling worthy and undeserving. men want to feel empowered too. I never understood that before. lessons learned it isn’t always about you ladies and gents. It can be your partners situation.
If someone has it in their nature to run the other way you are in a relationship w a toxic individual. There’s no strategy that others than get away and heal that part of you that attracted that scum bag.
With my ex (17 years older), we went from 'I want you as my life partner' to 'I don't want to change anything,' which basically meant we'd just keep having dinners and watching movies together. He also started planting the idea that I'm inherently flawed, but he was okay tolerating me. One day, in the heat of the moment, I told him to go find someone better. After a week of no contact, he blocked me everywhere. He's 54 and used to say how lucky he was to have me, and now I'm blocked like I was a stalker. I don’t want him back, but my mind is still trying to make sense of the situation. Am I still sending him energy by doing this? Thanks
No sweetie, you did the right thing. He’s rejecting you before you can reject him. It’s the preemptive dump. He wants to block you like a two-year-old would have a temper tantrum. That’s it as you can see he is simply not mature enough emotionally to be your partner.
@julieplavnik1486 Age means nothing. I'm almost his age and these 50+ guys can be as moronic and hurtful and juvenile as a 20 year old. It also doesn't matter if they are a great Father to grown kids, or good to their parents, none of it matters. While you of course want someone who is good to his family, and you do have to look at all that, its not the entire picture. It doesn't automatically equate to them being a great partner, for anyone or for you.
I recently fell for a coworker when he became my boss and was relocated. He finally left after about six weeks....things got way too close...thank God he left. He and I had way too much chemistry and have known each other for 15 years from work....I still think about him and really always cared deeply for him but he's married so we could never have a shot.
Thank you!! I have to take next week off. October 17. but I do plan on being back on a regular basis and finding other ways to make our interaction more accessible. Thank you for your support.
For me the issue is, if I am to extract the thoughts of him, get on with my life. At this point if i have to go this far in playing head games with myself, why would I then want him back ? To me, if I must reach this point of withdrawing my energy, I am in a state of detaching/mourning. It hurts because it feels “over”.
Does this work when the signs are clear he doesn’t like me anymore? In the beginning he was coming on strong unfortunately not anymore… I have the feeling he keeps holding me on just for sex
Susan., Great show and topic . When my bf left me he told me it was about him after the fact, I didn’t know the why as all was great for us. We had some adult conversations a couple weeks after and we got itsorted out . I was really devastated when it happened out of the blue and nothing happened that I was aware of . Sometimes it’s something in the other persons head, perhaps not feeling worthy and undeserving. men want to feel empowered and financially stable , and sometimes it’s just in their head maybe you make more money etc . I never understood that before. lessons learned. It can be your partners situation causing your pain . Susan this is a good topic .. men’s needs to commit . Men’s ego do they feel unworthy for whatever reason. How to work with this situation for others?
i'm in love with a good friend of mine who i regularly see because we're in the same club... the being "less available" thing is simply unfeasible. but will the practice of thinking about them less still have an impact? please say yes haha
This is more complicated. Have you always been in the friend zone? And why are you in the friend zone? I believe that the friend zone is simply a “lover in waiting“ you can either tell them how you feel and lose the friendship, but possibly gain a partner, or re-orient your headto someone who is available and attracted to you and to whom you were attracted
Hello Susan, I'd love to invite you on our PODCAST as a valuable Guest please. I think you have some extremely valuable insights and I am SURE - it would be amazing to listen to you and have a wholesome dialogue please.
Susan., Great show and topic . When my bf left me he told me it was about him after the fact, I didn’t know the why as all was great for us. We had some adult conversations a couple weeks after and we got itsorted out . I was really devastated when it happened out of the blue and nothing happened that I was aware of . Sometimes it’s something in the other persons head, perhaps not feeling worthy and undeserving. men want to feel empowered and financially stable , and sometimes it’s just in their head maybe you make more money etc . I never understood that before. lessons learned. It can be your partners situation causing your pain . Susan this is a good topic .. men’s needs to commit . Men’s ego do they feel unworthy for whatever reason. How to work with this situation for others?
Oh beautiful Susan. I missed the live show! I'm so excited for this! Exactly 💯 what I need right now. I'm trying to figure out what my partner needs. He's a good man but we have gotten off track. Part of me wants to leave but sometimes we feel so connected.
Can you pinpoint the exact issues? Have any of your conflicts been successfully resolved?. Do you know the key that unlocked the issue? There’s so many things. I’d love to ask you. But if you’ve been able to get through one problem, you may be able to find your way through the others.
@@SusanWinter I guess the bottom line is I am trying to figure out how to handle it best. I've had periods where I've gotten upset and just want to run away. But I am not sure if it's a fear of it turning into a problem I had in a previous relationship. We have both been in narcissistic relationships before. If things don't go well he will stop communicating and then I back off also. I think he feels he should wait for things to pass. I guess later it doesn't seem as big of an issue. It is more like I wanted something to be handled differently. Sometimes if he is home I will go do something on the porch, read, work something for me. He will after a bit ask me if I want to do something. Whatever caused the rift disappears. I just wish I had a better overall plan. I would have never imagined this having these moments where things seem off but yet other times seem to go back to connection. What should my goal be to focus on the best parts of him and hope the rest follows? I'm not sure I can imagine being with anyone else. It's crazy. I'm almost 52 and this is really the first time I have felt I could say this. I might have thought in the beginning I could but I didn't really. It was more like infatuation or getting caught in the fun and excitement which is fine just not the same or what I wanted.
Upon further thought it also may be sensing an emotional distance. I'm not sure if the solution might be as simple as spending time just focusing on myself and my own thoughts and projects in those moments. I've been reading a lot about how our energy really has an effect and maybe he needs to sense my attention elsewhere and come back to me energetically. He's really a good man. I do feel I love him and he loves me. I am not worried about that. He is honorable and I'm not concerned there. I know he is faithful to me even though we don't have any official promise. He keeps his word.
@@Creating2413Your words sound precisely like my thoughts. I understand you and I want to let you know that if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. Having a great foundation with your partner is essential, and if you can pinpoint those concerns you have about/with your partner, you’ll be able to move onto the next step: understanding why there are conflicts and how to move forward. Life is beautiful and always remember to put yourself first!
@reykau thank you. I think I feel it is meant to be. It is more navigating. I do have trouble putting myself first but I am learning. It's the journey. He has told me at times he senses a pushing energy. I think women like to know something right away when it would be better to just take a breath and wait. There seems to be this human inclination when I step back he moves forward. Ugh! I didn't hear from him and then when I put my energy on to work and other activities I get lots of messages. I was upset but I think I need to take it less seriously.
I feel like this is still not enough if they come back once you redirect your energy. Because they come back to receive again what they lost, which is your energy and attention. They don't want you, they just want to benefit about your energy. If they would want you, they would have never left because they were not with you for your supplies but because they saw your value. In short, if they left they don't see you valuable. If they come back, it is because they lost access to your supplies.
I haven't watched your videos in a while, but landed on this one yesterday. It inspired me to start to redirect my energy. I logged out of Reddit, which I'd been using nearly every day for months to vent and ruminate about this person and our prior situationship. I'm not even kidding: within two hours, he sent me multiple messages reminiscing about something from our past. Before this, I hadn't heard from him in weeks. Don't worry, I'm approaching it cautiously and still will make efforts to redirect my energy. But I couldn't help but laugh at the apparent immediate effect it had.
love-videos! My five-year relationship came to an end a month ago. The love of my life chose to leave, and I can't stop thinking about him; I love him so deeply. I've done everything I can to win him back, but nothing seems to work. I'm feeling frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my efforts to move on, I just can't shake the thoughts of him. I don’t know why I’m sharing this, but I really miss him
Hi Mary. You’re in the safe place here with a lot of support. The people who come to this channel are really very well intentioned and are all busy working on themselves just as you are. I sincerely urge you to consider working a session. And if that seems, too much for you right now, please please download Breakup Triage; the Cure for Heartache. FREE on audible and only a few dollars on Amazon if you don’t have an audible subscription.
Happy Birthday Susan!
9:30 This has happened to me a few times. It's inexplicable... but once I have finally "Let go", that is when the exes start reaching out with the "I miss you" 's 🙄
It’s infuriating, but it is true. The minute we take the energetic action as well as the external action… They magically reappear with renewed interest.
Hello Miss Susan, im happy to hear you back ,i really love your words ,as always your advice are on point
HUGE THANKS TO ALL MY SUPER CHAT CONTRIBUTORS!!!
❤
Susan., Great show. , When my bf left me he told me it was about him after the fact, I didn’t know the why as all was great for us. We had some adult conversations a couple weeks after and now we got it sorted. We are moving forward . I was really devastated when it happened out of the blue and nothing happened that I was aware of .
Sometimes it’s something in the other persons head, perhaps not feeling worthy and undeserving. men want to feel empowered too. I never understood that before. lessons learned it isn’t always about you ladies and gents. It can be your partners situation.
THANK YOU!!!!!
If someone has it in their nature to run the other way you are in a relationship w a toxic individual. There’s no strategy that others than get away and heal that part of you that attracted that scum bag.
Strong language, but I agree with the philosophy!!
With my ex (17 years older), we went from 'I want you as my life partner' to 'I don't want to change anything,' which basically meant we'd just keep having dinners and watching movies together. He also started planting the idea that I'm inherently flawed, but he was okay tolerating me. One day, in the heat of the moment, I told him to go find someone better. After a week of no contact, he blocked me everywhere. He's 54 and used to say how lucky he was to have me, and now I'm blocked like I was a stalker. I don’t want him back, but my mind is still trying to make sense of the situation. Am I still sending him energy by doing this? Thanks
No sweetie, you did the right thing. He’s rejecting you before you can reject him. It’s the preemptive dump. He wants to block you like a two-year-old would have a temper tantrum. That’s it as you can see he is simply not mature enough emotionally to be your partner.
@@SusanWinter Appreciate your answer Susan! Since he's older, I perceived him wiser and mature by default. Such behaviour was quite shocking for me...
You will be fine let him go. Thank you for saying him the truth.
@@Preet-Lawyer thank you Harpreet 🙏
@julieplavnik1486 Age means nothing. I'm almost his age and these 50+ guys can be as moronic and hurtful and juvenile as a 20 year old. It also doesn't matter if they are a great Father to grown kids, or good to their parents, none of it matters. While you of course want someone who is good to his family, and you do have to look at all that, its not the entire picture. It doesn't automatically equate to them being a great partner, for anyone or for you.
I recently fell for a coworker when he became my boss and was relocated. He finally left after about six weeks....things got way too close...thank God he left. He and I had way too much chemistry and have known each other for 15 years from work....I still think about him and really always cared deeply for him but he's married so we could never have a shot.
You nailed it with seeing the hook the relationship offered not the person, ie financial security 🎉🎉
❤❤
So so good to have you back
It was a long summer for many and hearing your thoughtful advice is a light for me. ❤
Thank you!! I have to take next week off. October 17. but I do plan on being back on a regular basis and finding other ways to make our interaction more accessible. Thank you for your support.
I am soo happy to watch your live sessions again ❤️
For me the issue is,
if I am to extract the thoughts of him, get on with my life. At this point if i have to go this far in playing head games with myself, why would I then want him back ? To me, if I must reach this point of withdrawing my energy, I am in a state of detaching/mourning. It hurts because it feels “over”.
Love your videos, so true
I have been in my mysterious phase no vid calls just working in my mental and physical and I know I'll pop up. Hotter than a desert ❤
Love this!
Hi Susan, thank you so much for such lovely and inspiring videos. They keep us going!
Your videos have helped me heal and look forward to life.❤
Hi Susan love your show
Thank you!!!!
The magnifying glass gives you a different look.. "the love detective" ?❤
How do we take part in the live talks? These videos have helped me so much tonight.
Thank you I think I am dating a narcissist.I am grateful for your videos.❤
Does this work when the signs are clear he doesn’t like me anymore?
In the beginning he was coming on strong unfortunately not anymore…
I have the feeling he keeps holding me on just for sex
Susan., Great show and topic . When my bf left me he told me it was about him after the fact, I didn’t know the why as all was great for us. We had some adult conversations a couple weeks after and we got itsorted out . I was really devastated when it happened out of the blue and nothing happened that I was aware of .
Sometimes it’s something in the other persons head, perhaps not feeling worthy and undeserving. men want to feel empowered and financially stable , and sometimes it’s just in their head maybe you make more money etc . I never understood
that before. lessons learned. It can be your partners situation causing your pain . Susan this is a good topic .. men’s needs to commit . Men’s ego do they feel unworthy for whatever reason. How to work with this situation for others?
THANK YOU ZEN
i'm in love with a good friend of mine who i regularly see because we're in the same club... the being "less available" thing is simply unfeasible.
but will the practice of thinking about them less still have an impact? please say yes haha
This is more complicated. Have you always been in the friend zone? And why are you in the friend zone? I believe that the friend zone is simply a “lover in waiting“ you can either tell them how you feel and lose the friendship, but possibly gain a partner, or re-orient your headto someone who is available and attracted to you and to whom you were attracted
Does this apply to friendships too?
Hi
I should take interest in myself. I am so interesting and valuable...all by myself. 💎📚🚲🥩❤️🌴✈️
🙌🙌🙌🙌
Hello Susan, I'd love to invite you on our PODCAST as a valuable Guest please. I think you have some extremely valuable insights and I am SURE - it would be amazing to listen to you and have a wholesome dialogue please.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you Susan your the best. Your eyes look so blue and sparkling
Oh thank you!
This is all so exhausting playing these games. 🤯 😰Has anyone asked Nikka what her advice is on all this mindf*ckery?! 😂❤🐾
Susan., Great show and topic . When my bf left me he told me it was about him after the fact, I didn’t know the why as all was great for us. We had some adult conversations a couple weeks after and we got itsorted out . I was really devastated when it happened out of the blue and nothing happened that I was aware of .
Sometimes it’s something in the other persons head, perhaps not feeling worthy and undeserving. men want to feel empowered and financially stable , and sometimes it’s just in their head maybe you make more money etc . I never understood
that before. lessons learned. It can be your partners situation causing your pain . Susan this is a good topic .. men’s needs to commit . Men’s ego do they feel unworthy for whatever reason. How to work with this situation for others?