As a man I find Matthew 's advice here to be solid. If a women presented it to me that way I'd be okay with it. If a man gets angry with you after you set this new standard it probably means he has an agenda.
+FitzChivalry Farseer what if he keeps pressing me to "make love", gets upset if I call it sex, tells me that he already know that he wants me and loves me and we've only talked on the phone for 4.5 days? I feel this is too quick, altho he says a lot of nice things to hear...to turn ur ear... What do u do with a guy who moves sooooo fast & tells u that "tomorrow is not guaranteed" & "you know it would be fireworks"...He says I made him feel so in love just like his 1st/only wife & no one has ever made him feel like this...what to do???
+Kandace Cheser Look up youtube video series Red Flags of a Narcissist. Dana talks about the first two red flags and they are Love Bombing and Rushing to Intimacy.....you could be with a really great malignant narcissist who is a fantastic CON artist. Get away from him FAST!!! Know ALL of the red flags and arm yourself intellectually for protection against them because they are amazing at drawing you in and dropping you like you never meant a thing to them.
Julie Foster lets be fair . just got done by a pro female .never thought she was sharp enough to manipulate. It was all a show . fake smiles and no real emotion.only redeflection of jealousy. No real understanding of love or passion being part of sex . only the act . and only physically aroused by my body\ big titties.come to find out . total stranger i slept next to and gave benifit of doutbt .fought myself.for last 3 years. I cant fix her or help the 11 yo anymore ! I can pray. And. Live my every day for God and he will lead me where im supposes to be on time and ready for my angle whom ever she may be or look like. Until then i will abstain from any sexual acts period. Partially cause i dont want to ever be that separated from the emotional passions of love making . and sensual touch
Exactly. I had sex with a guy who was very interesting the second or third date and then he probably saw me as a slut or something and stopped texting me after some time...I think that ruined everything
You where probably acting weird after sex or The sex was bad because you didn’t do anything.That’s why! He’s not going to think negatively about you for giving him a nice time.
I slept with my current bf on the first date. We had deep conversation before the first date and on the date, I thought he's cute and nice then I did it and own it lol. In my mind, I prepared myself that he might act differently after sex. Now we are 4 months in, he brought up the relationship and said I love you. I literally had zero expectations... when you are not desperately want something , it will come naturally
you could sleep with him after 1 minute, or after a year, if that's a problem for him you're looking at the wrong guy. stop questioning what you did wrong, they never ever question anything.
Sleeping Cinderella They don’t ... but we seem to be the ones over thinking and feeling guilty . We don’t get calls back or minimal effort texts. For some opening the door to sexual intimacy works out ; but seemingly more times than not it’s purely physical and in the moment for the men folk.
@@redfather5342 Exactly. Women expect men to do all the heavy lifting at the start of the relationship and they want it to last forever. Ain't happening. After sex the tide turns and its the girls turn to keep the guy interested. They should prove that they are girlfriend material, its not the guys job.
same, but i like to know what guys think and how to solve problems even if they are not part of my life (also you could help a friend with this, who knows😅😅)
+Alexandra Gomez I do it for education. I'm currently in my first relationship and I assume it's not going to be my last and so..why not help yourself to some tricks and knowledge about dating so you can do things right right away?
It's not wrong to sleep with the guy too soon as long as you like him the way he likes you. But in order for him to keep chasing you and be committed to you, don't lower your standard. Spend time during daytime where you can talk about anything and know each other better.
I'm a guy and I agree 100% with everything he said. Similar thing happened with me and a partner in the past and truthfully didn't upset me at all! I felt like I could trust her more and respected her more :)
Wow this was great advice. I slept with a guy too soon, but then didn’t know how to change the standard once we were on that course. So it happened 2 more times, but I eventually let him know it really wasn’t me to continue, and because of the respect I have for him I didn’t want to be anything other than myself. We are still cool but he wasn’t looking for anything else besides a good time. I was kind of crushed.
This video couldn't have come at a more perfect moment. After telling a guy that I don't haphazardly sleep around, things happened, stuff went down earlier than I hoped, and I felt exactly the way you explained. Your wording is so genuine sounding and fits the situation so perfectly. You're a genius!
Before we did anything sexually his response to me not being the type of person that sleeps around what that he didn't want me sleeping around. That he wanted me sleep with one person, being him. But since then we've slept together he's been a little more distant. Like he's not trying as hard to see me or talk to me anymore. It's frustrating.
watching this made me so much sadder.. im on the verge of tears. I slept with this guy on the first date.. I really like him but I cant help to feel that I ruined it all. its sad that if you sleep with a man too fast he will start to take advantage of you instead of having respect. So sad :(
@@xw6475 I can talk about my experience. I think also good men are afraid of compromise. if a guy take advantage from sex is not good. Probably he would take advantage on other way.
This actually happened with me. We both realized we were jumping too fast and we acknowledged the chemistry between us. It worked for a while until we got comfortable enough to move forward.
Awesome distinction I have never heard this from any relationship expert about owning my actions and not regretting it and then resetting my standard if this ever happens again? Cool thank you Matthew you're brilliant! :)
you can wait a respectable time or do it the same night. a man either way can never speak with you again. so using sex as a way to negotiate commitment or interest never works. if you like the guy and he likes you, then after you lay your standards out to him. its up to him to respect them and get to know you as an individual.
If you sleep too soon with a guy, it's okay, if you're happy with him, so be it. But never lose yourself, you should be in control with the relationship because if he sees you as a weak person, there's a chance that he would lose interest in you. Learn to say no, so he will also learn how to earn your love and loyalty.
This is really helpful Matthew! I've been looking for answers to this kind of situation and there it is. I never knew that we can respond in a sexy and more confident way. Thanks!
I feel like I lost interest in a guy after sleeping together too soon but there’s never videos about women in those situations. This video helped me understand why I started pulling away and whether it’s abnormal or not. Just wish there were more videos about women that experience the same.
I'm a guy, and this is exactly what happened to me. I met a girl and we had this instant connection and chemistry, and it was like a whirlwind romance and it was very very quickly by the time we got intimate and I think she kind of initiated it herself. But it had been a while for me and I went along with it. But then I noticed that after we had been intimate at least twice, then things seem to slow down and it was like a weird feeling of where do you go from here? This is the risk you take when you sleep with someone too quick. And it does indeed suck because you think that you met this incredible person, but if you sleep too quickly, it does stand a chance of ruining it. And I never understood why that happens
The second you ask where is this going, the pressure turns on. It feels as if you are already sure of him, but you dont think he is sure of you. Equally ,no one has unlimited time to waste . There are perspectives on this and many nuances, and besides many people are not honest as they know honesty can prevent their goals.
The first time I slept with a guy was when I met him on yellow LOL I was expecting it to be a booty call then it turned into real emotions and real attractions (mind you it was literally the first day I met him then slept with him on that day). But I did own up to my actions and told him I'll see him again and said things to be slower and now we are honestly so caring and helplessly loving each other ❤️
This helped me. After my divorce and 6 years later I sept with a man too quick. I deeply regretted it, but I feel better now after watching this. Thank you...
Watched this video and said exactly what you said in the video to this guy I've been seeing, we just had the most amazing deep hearted conversation. And he asked to call me to talk after not calling for days. We talked for 2 and a half hours. Thank you. 😊 Truly.
Matthew, if you haven't already, please do a video on respect. So many women don't know what behaviors and words are signs of disrespect from a guy. Many of us from abusive environments have looser boundaries and don't see disrespect for what it is. We think it's normative for guys to say "fuck you" and "fuck off" during arguments, that's it's normative for guys to walk ahead of us into buildings, and to burp and fart without so much as an "excuse me". Where's the line between uncouth and disrespectful?
Usually they just refuse to take you out at all after you sleep with them early on...and when you bring it up they just make excuses about wanting to relax and watch tv and not go out. Around that time is where your videos on texting and being low investment and not angry are helpful lol.
I don’t regret it. If it’s a deal breaker for him, then that’s fine- I’d rather know sooner than later whether that’s someone with conventional views or an open minded person. I want to be with an open minded, unconventional person. Plus, it takes two to tango. Why should I be crucified for it but he should be “off the hook”?
I like your video it made me realise that when you have that chemistry with someone you shouldn’t regret it especially if you like that person. Your video helped thank you 😊
It’s not so much that I regret the sex per say, but I realize (vs. regret) that I should have asked him more questions and maybe spent a bit more time. Like, telling him I want monogamy, the situation and plan for pregnancy prevention, and also being clear if he has had tests done for stds. I’ve rarely if ever have had the courage or insight to be clear with my potential or current partners to talk about this, but as I have gotten older, I realize I must look out for my body (e.g not getting pregnant or any std)… Thanks for the video
One of the million reasons I ❤ u Mr. Hussey is that you always think positive and make us ,women realise how important good and sincere communication is!!!! And I also love the fact that you always mention how we can always support our standards!!! Any time during the "game". P.s. Leave Camilla and come with me 😉 I'll show u what I've learnt from u!!! 😂 xoxo
I needed this advice so bad. I slept with a guy on our first date which I didn't regret and felt like he liked me and didn't give off any vibes of not wanting to see me again then everyone started telling me I ruined my chances with him then the self doubt creeped in and I felt like they were right.
I have been in that situation before, and I did that, I just say : it was fun I had a great time. But for now on let's move in a different way and see where this is going. Thanks for all the tips, thank you so much :) . Greetings from Venezuela.
Hey Matthew, I'm french, and I'm twenty. i didn't have any long relationship since i was born. But what i'm really thankfull about your vids, it's that it inspire me to love myself first, to ne happy first, and just, generally enjoy life with or without someone (looove your vid bout how do i enjoy being single) ! so, really, thank you to pacificate wars in me, and please continu to be that adorable ! Marina.
I loved the response. I think its exactly what I want him to know. I like him but I also want to live by my standards and if he follows them and we have a mutual understanding then its something I want to be able have with him.
I recently slept with my ex, someone who I was very much in love with in the past. We are still in contact and have been for the two years since we broke up and this hasn't happened before. It just happened although I am confident that this won't be happening again unless he shows any signs of progressing in that way. I have become very happy in my life without him and whatever happens in the future is fine with me and him also. I don't feel shame for sleeping with him whilst we were both single. Life doesn't always have guidelines.
Thanks for this, I used it and I had a positive response and you right I felt more self respect by owning and set up my standards and he is taking me out.
Matthew your are such a "dreamboat". Classy guy from the past. You seem like the kinda guy who can appreciate a good woman. Wish we could clone you !!!!
IREALLYdontlikesnails I'm definitely waiting longer than 2 months next time - I made him wait just on 2 months and he still disappeared with another chick after another 2 months
IREALLYdontlikesnails Yep well in his defence he was willing to wait 4 months we'd booked a hotel for me to give up my virginity and everything for when I got back from an overseas trip but silly me thought our feelings were equal at 2 months afterall he was talking long term - but on the plus I don't think we were sexually compatible so because I was never sexually awakened I'm changing my definition of virginity and taking it back. I'm an honest girl so if and when I find the next guy and the sex talk comes up I'll be honest that I've technically done it but explain my view... and the other woman could well be his karma she was a woman from my past whom at one time I had declined her friendship (she's known for creating drama and being promiscuous which isn't my style) and she was introduced to us via a mutual friend a week after we started having sex... and I agreed to sweep the past under a rug for the sake of our men, unfortunately she became available the night I flew out for my month long trip overseas and in the final week of my trip he backed away / changed overnight and I could see a major rise in their interaction on social media - he was distant when I returned when I knew as girlfriend after a month he should have been wanting to see me ASAP I confronted him and he arranged to meet and broke it off 2 days before our hotel room was booked for (I really should have waited... Damn) on the grounds he realised I'd fallen in love with him and he didn't love me... and he was letting me go to find the love I deserved and he wasn't ready for a serious relationship afterall. He denied there being another woman but the other woman had been telling me to prepare for a break up and conveniently within a couple of weeks they were together - she felt the need to send me updates on their progress on social media so I blocked her - all of which makes me think she threw herself at him in my absence as a means to get back at me for the past and perhaps she's using him now - Either way though I'm done with him and remaining celibate for the time being, and I need to forgive myself, rebuild my self confidence and rebuild my self esteem. I know now I was just his rebound girl and I regret putting myself through all that as it wasn't what I'd expected my first relationship to be but thank goodness I saw his true colours after only 4 months. Of course I don't want to be alone and it's scary now I'm 28... but I'm just going to wait again (he showed up when I didn't expect him) I'm just going to be more picky next time and be less trusting but try not to be obvious about it - I don't want my ex to stop me being a perfect girlfriend next time around since he thanked me for being the perfect girlfriend during our break up but it's going to be hard to let my guard down again.
Excellent. How to reset & assert my standards, and not regret intimacy (even though I did wait 2 months...and then he did the friend thing 2 days later)
Matthew, your advices are priceless. I did it (said what you recommended) and no matter what will be the outcome reg. developing this relationship, I feel that first of all you helped ME to stay connected with myself. Thank you!
I am the one who loses respect for a guy who judges a woman for having sex with them. That's so childish, sexist and dumb, nobody have sex alone, right? If they're against having sex, why were they doing it in the first place and why they think they are entitled to JUDGE the other person who they had sex with? I can't handle sexism anymore. And I hope everybody else can't either! And as someone already said here in the comments bellow: why don't men ever ask themselves if they slept with a girl too soon? Women out there: let's get rid of sexist men once for all!
great advice! I will definitely use it as I feel things went too fast this time as I felt really connected with the guy. thanks for the words of wisdom and comfort that it doesn't mean I messed it up.
My sexuality is too much for me, and I have to say it ruin so many things for me! I am in a toxic relationship now, and he always use sex to get me back! I need to get out of it!
Dump him and find someone hotter to sleep with. Get in a dating app. But the sex can’t be that good because you could just master bate or get another guy. I think you like the attention. I used to have that problem. It might help to see a therapist. I used to sleep with guys out of a weird distraction from my issues and to feel attention
This happened to me and I did things the way you talked about already. It was refreshing to hear you say he would have more respect for me if I slowed it down a bit, which he has and we are just going to take our time. Neither one of us wants a relationship right now and I think down the road we know what we want, plus its fun flirting and I have made a very close friend for now.
Glad I saw this tonight as me and a new person is getting on well.. we slept together and worried we ruined relationship potential but owning our actions without regret and now putting the standards back before any further damage to what could be a beautiful partnership 💯
When I first met my ,now, loving boyfriend , we did it the second day, so there are no rules i think. He tried so hard to make me commit only to him, i think it had more to do with the fact that a lot of boys were interested in me at the same time as he was, and he wasnt sure who I'd pick :)
I always enjoy your advice and try to keep up with the videos. I've recently been talking to guys and following your advice on various topics. I can say, this is definitely another great video. Thanks Mattew!
My only regret sleeping with him too soon is knowing now that its difficult to mend our friendship after our recent major breakup from our intense relationship.
Wow! Wow! Wow! This is the best solution. So many good therapists have nothing decent or practical to say for that situation. Your advice will help so many women. Thank you! Such a classy response to new guy invitation to spend another night together
I wish the girl that did this to me realized that because our date and everything else that happened after was so amazing i never felt so right about a person in my life, but then she took it all back and ignored her feelings and now there’s nothing.
You should address the fact that it seems to destroy deeper relationships . I just heard a 2 hour radioshow about this partner apps and many guys admitted that it is so easy to get sex and then they move on and even make bets with they buddies who collects the most . The whole dating scene changed and ppl have problems to really connect. The guys also admitted that they keep searching for the next best thing because they think there is always a better one . So when you slept with them they move on and won't even talk to you. And thats what guys on the show admitted they lost respect for the girl because she could sleep with the next guy to when she was so easy to sleep with him after one date . Just because you don't lose respect for the girl ( mainly because you don't sleep with everybody ) doesn't mean like 60% of the guys won't lose respect or just look for another number . Women should stop sleeping around and expect to find a honest carrying partner
Sure if you want to fuck around and not be in a relationship then change the guys every weekend but I heard it from many guys that it is also difficult for them to find a serious girlfriend because women act like sluts so they don't feel like wanna be in a relationship with this women .One guy also said he is searching for women who can talk about more than shopping and fashion so he already talks to women who are not overdressed and styled but they are still empty and can't hold a conversation . We need to go back to value relationships , not only friendships where you look how much you can get out of this friendship for yourself but also partnership where you not only care that your needs are satisfied and you get upset when your partner isn't doing what you expected because its all ME ME ME
First of all love who you are . I know to many women who get their value through men. Well if you have nothing else going on for you than your body, being seen as an sexual object gives the woman the value she doesn't have otherwise. We all are not perfect the main goal should be being a better version of yourself than you were one year ago. There are so many women complaining that the guys don't call back or just call for a booty call. Well when you have more going on for yourself you don't need to sleep with him to get his intention. Be a good conversationist , find out what you both can share with each other and where you can help and support each other . When you love yourself you can share your love with others . Don't be just an used object for men be their hero their everything , be somebody they want to spend time with
+tr smith I agree... I was discussing this subject with a few of my male co-workers, and they were in agreement that if a girl has sex with them on the first date-they wouldn't want to take her out again. Men will take what they can get-whenever they can get it. It's up to a woman to set the boundaries. If she has no boundaries-it sends the wrong message to men. Therefore, most of them will move on to the next. Sex is not a handshake. Why do something so intimate and personal before you have a committed relationship? This may be 2015-but it still makes you look Easy. Have some respect for yourself.
Heyy thanks alot I just want asked I meet a guy in the club and I just asked me to date him just for him since one month and after exactly I started dating him and waw he is really interested for me and we just started dating for 3 days more and Suddenly in the 4 th dating we have sex and from that he just keeps silence what so u advice me
thank you so much I did do the very thing that you were talking about and I didn't want to make him feel bad by saying I feel thought about doing that too early I did say from the get-go that evening when he said do you just want to go snuggle I said yes but I won't sleep with you and then he said all the things that got me to change my mind I really needed your advice I feel better he texted me and now I feel better about what I can say to him now from the bottom of my heart I am so glad helping women and you helped me I really like this man and I did think that I blew it
Thank you. It felt great at the time, but it's my nature to second-guess myself. This really helped put myself in the right mindset so that going forward, I don't approach him from a place of shame or embarrassment.
I have found that if you have sex “too soon” whatever that means, you’re screwed! If you feed a stray dog, it comes back! Lmao! Seriously! Men think you’re now in a relationship. They want all your time. They don’t want you talking to anyone else or seeing anyone else. Women are not property. I can have casual sex without expecting anything else. I’ve found 1 guy that is not clingy after sex and our sex is amazing! Blows my mind how we mesh so well sexually but he’s not someone I want in my life everyday. I think I like the challenge of it. That’s a huge turn on for me. Anyway, do what ya want when ya want! I lived without sex in a miserable relationship for far too long and I’m making up for it now and I love it! We all deserve to feel wanted & desired!!
Wow.... you sound like a player and overall just horrible person. Doesn't sound like you are being honest with these guys.That's so wrong! It's only okay to have casual sex when it's agreed upon. Don't be a b*tch to guys... they have hearts you know. Shameful.
Why don’t men ever ask themselves if they slept with a girl too soon ? Why is it always on the women?
Rima Salman unlike women men like sex
Redfather women like sex too, it's just we're the only ones that get shamed for it.
Amy Dumas so stop giving a Damn about what others think and live your life
Valid point .....
Guys do ask themselves this. They don't ask other people for their opinions on this.
As a man I find Matthew 's advice here to be solid. If a women presented it to me that way I'd be okay with it. If a man gets angry with you after you set this new standard it probably means he has an agenda.
+FitzChivalry Farseer what if he keeps pressing me to "make love", gets upset if I call it sex, tells me that he already know that he wants me and loves me and we've only talked on the phone for 4.5 days? I feel this is too quick, altho he says a lot of nice things to hear...to turn ur ear... What do u do with a guy who moves sooooo fast & tells u that "tomorrow is not guaranteed" & "you know it would be fireworks"...He says I made him feel so in love just like his 1st/only wife & no one has ever made him feel like this...what to do???
+Kandace Cheser was he THAT quick??? careful, he might be a Narcissist! he might become something completely different once you fall for him..
+Kandace Cheser
Look up youtube video series Red Flags of a Narcissist. Dana talks about the first two red flags and they are Love Bombing and Rushing to Intimacy.....you could be with a really great malignant narcissist who is a fantastic CON artist. Get away from him FAST!!! Know ALL of the red flags and arm yourself intellectually for protection against them because they are amazing at drawing you in and dropping you like you never meant a thing to them.
Аrее уооооu mааaаking thеeееsе mistakes with уour mаn? twitter.com/c903839ed82be8bc0/status/804693412402241537 Did Yоu Slеееер With Him Тоо Soоn
Julie Foster lets be fair . just got done by a pro female .never thought she was sharp enough to manipulate. It was all a show . fake smiles and no real emotion.only redeflection of jealousy. No real understanding of love or passion being part of sex . only the act . and only physically aroused by my body\ big titties.come to find out . total stranger i slept next to and gave benifit of doutbt .fought myself.for last 3 years. I cant fix her or help the 11 yo anymore ! I can pray. And. Live my every day for God and he will lead me where im supposes to be on time and ready for my angle whom ever she may be or look like. Until then i will abstain from any sexual acts period. Partially cause i dont want to ever be that separated from the emotional passions of love making . and sensual touch
Sometimes you just can’t help yourself when the chemistry and circumstances are right.
sometimes they have the good D lmao
Wrong. You're just stupid then
Exactly. I had sex with a guy who was very interesting the second or third date and then he probably saw me as a slut or something and stopped texting me after some time...I think that ruined everything
❤️❤️❤️
You where probably acting weird after sex or The sex was bad because you didn’t do anything.That’s why! He’s not going to think negatively about you for giving him a nice time.
This advice actually got me a boyfriend. He committed to me the next date we had after saying this. Thanks Matthew :)
Shaunteetalkstv My goal 😍💎 and congratulations gurllk
Shaunteetalkstv y’all still together?
Ella Rice very good question ella
Shaunteetalkstv you still together?
Good for you! I happened to do it again the second time. After that he doesn't really talk to me anymore...
I slept with my current bf on the first date. We had deep conversation before the first date and on the date, I thought he's cute and nice then I did it and own it lol. In my mind, I prepared myself that he might act differently after sex. Now we are 4 months in, he brought up the relationship and said I love you. I literally had zero expectations... when you are not desperately want something , it will come naturally
thank you for this beautiful comment.... relax and let what happens happen
This is fantastic!
you could sleep with him after 1 minute, or after a year, if that's a problem for him you're looking at the wrong guy. stop questioning what you did wrong, they never ever question anything.
Sleeping Cinderella They don’t ... but we seem to be the ones over thinking and feeling guilty . We don’t get calls back or minimal effort texts. For some opening the door to sexual intimacy works out ; but seemingly more times than not it’s purely physical and in the moment for the men folk.
I needed this comment today.
Thank you! i was looking for this comment. Its sad because i really like the guy but well, if he's not for me, cant do anything about it.
They never do. As a woman, I'm exhausted questioning every thought, statement. Wish I turn my thoughts off.
❤️❤️❤️
the reason why *some women* regret is that *some guys* don't make as much effort once they have sex. And that's an evolutionary thing.
citation?
And what are you doing for him?
@@redfather5342 Exactly. Women expect men to do all the heavy lifting at the start of the relationship and they want it to last forever. Ain't happening. After sex the tide turns and its the girls turn to keep the guy interested. They should prove that they are girlfriend material, its not the guys job.
@@JJ-vp3bd Fact - I know from experience LOL
Lucas Starseed and the other way around the guys must prove they are a boyfriend material. You can’t just “earn the girl and have her forever”.
why am I even watching this, I'm a virgin
haha! it's OK:)
same, but i like to know what guys think and how to solve problems even if they are not part of my life (also you could help a friend with this, who knows😅😅)
Don't worry I'm married and I am watching as well it was a suggestion on TH-cam
+Alexandra Gomez I do it for education. I'm currently in my first relationship and I assume it's not going to be my last and so..why not help yourself to some tricks and knowledge about dating so you can do things right right away?
+Alexandra Gomez There's never anything wrong with taking advice or seeking it.
It's not wrong to sleep with the guy too soon as long as you like him the way he likes you. But in order for him to keep chasing you and be committed to you, don't lower your standard. Spend time during daytime where you can talk about anything and know each other better.
How far can we go physically before the relationship?
I'm a guy and I agree 100% with everything he said. Similar thing happened with me and a partner in the past and truthfully didn't upset me at all! I felt like I could trust her more and respected her more :)
I said this to a guy recently and he got angry with me! He was so upset.
I disagree if she aint trying to fuck then its time to move on
@@redfather5342 lol. Dang!
Wow this was great advice. I slept with a guy too soon, but then didn’t know how to change the standard once we were on that course. So it happened 2 more times, but I eventually let him know it really wasn’t me to continue, and because of the respect I have for him I didn’t want to be anything other than myself. We are still cool but he wasn’t looking for anything else besides a good time. I was kind of crushed.
This video couldn't have come at a more perfect moment. After telling a guy that I don't haphazardly sleep around, things happened, stuff went down earlier than I hoped, and I felt exactly the way you explained. Your wording is so genuine sounding and fits the situation so perfectly. You're a genius!
Before we did anything sexually his response to me not being the type of person that sleeps around what that he didn't want me sleeping around. That he wanted me sleep with one person, being him. But since then we've slept together he's been a little more distant. Like he's not trying as hard to see me or talk to me anymore. It's frustrating.
too much sex and not enough love in this world....nobody wants to hear this but its true....
corsican lulu love is not real
Love is real. It's commonly mistaken as lust by the heathens but it is real.
Sadly true
watching this made me so much sadder.. im on the verge of tears. I slept with this guy on the first date.. I really like him but I cant help to feel that I ruined it all. its sad that if you sleep with a man too fast he will start to take advantage of you instead of having respect. So sad :(
True
It depends on the guy
Here is your chance! Watch the video again and follow the best practical advice for this typical problem. We all are guilty.. so..let's earn it!
@@alfreire72 I agree with you. However most of the guys nowdays are just boys.
@@xw6475 I can talk about my experience. I think also good men are afraid of compromise. if a guy take advantage from sex is not good. Probably he would take advantage on other way.
I've never met a guy who would understand a woman like you do, I love all of your videos and find them really helpful.
This actually happened with me. We both realized we were jumping too fast and we acknowledged the chemistry between us. It worked for a while until we got comfortable enough to move forward.
Nobody could sleep with this guy too soon.
+Michiko Yeung LoL
He's gay
Awesome distinction I have never heard this from any relationship expert about owning my actions and not regretting it and then resetting my standard if this ever happens again? Cool thank you Matthew you're brilliant! :)
I have two problems now, one is this one. And you "fixed" them in minutes! Am feeling much way better now!!! Thanks Matt.
a very well played answer Matthew. I wish that I had someone like you around in my 20s
I know, where was this guy 25 years ago when I was dating?
Eva Volkin lol
I love the advice `never regret your decision’ instead of saying you’re completely wrong
the right video at the right time
thanks
Matthew Hussey just takes a tremendous relief off of our shoulders, doesn't he? :) Oxoxo
Absolutely!
Its important to demonstrate attraction when you turn a guy down. Otherwise he might think you are wasting his time.
you can wait a respectable time or do it the same night. a man either way can never speak with you again. so using sex as a way to negotiate commitment or interest never works. if you like the guy and he likes you, then after you lay your standards out to him. its up to him to respect them and get to know you as an individual.
How bout no sex for anyone. Until she meets the one
+PolakFury very reasonable. sex is over played and short lived when performed with meaningless beginnings
+PolakFury Relationships are much more important than scratching an itch.
NeverEndingVictory. Yes AMEN HALLELUJAH. YES YES
dragonfly9209. Omgosh black diamonds you are spirit led
If you sleep too soon with a guy, it's okay, if you're happy with him, so be it. But never lose yourself, you should be in control with the relationship because if he sees you as a weak person, there's a chance that he would lose interest in you. Learn to say no, so he will also learn how to earn your love and loyalty.
omg! You are AMAZING! that's exactly where I am now. And I was freaking out that I've done that with him. But your advice just saved my life.
I needed to hear this because I was really bummed in my situation. Thank you. Owning it and learning from it !
"Him Too Soon" almost seemed like a korean name, which totally gave me an unexpected speculation towards this videos hahaha
Lol that is so funny
Watched your video two hours ago and tried that now. Got the most amazing answer and another date to continue building our connection!
This is really helpful Matthew! I've been looking for answers to this kind of situation and there it is. I never knew that we can respond in a sexy and more confident way. Thanks!
I feel like I lost interest in a guy after sleeping together too soon but there’s never videos about women in those situations. This video helped me understand why I started pulling away and whether it’s abnormal or not. Just wish there were more videos about women that experience the same.
I'm a guy, and this is exactly what happened to me. I met a girl and we had this instant connection and chemistry, and it was like a whirlwind romance and it was very very quickly by the time we got intimate and I think she kind of initiated it herself. But it had been a while for me and I went along with it. But then I noticed that after we had been intimate at least twice, then things seem to slow down and it was like a weird feeling of where do you go from here? This is the risk you take when you sleep with someone too quick. And it does indeed suck because you think that you met this incredible person, but if you sleep too quickly, it does stand a chance of ruining it. And I never understood why that happens
The second you ask where is this going, the pressure turns on. It feels as if you are already sure of him, but you dont think he is sure of you. Equally ,no one has unlimited time to waste . There are perspectives on this and many nuances, and besides many people are not honest as they know honesty can prevent their goals.
Perfect timing! Thank you for your solid advice Matthew. These comments are also super helpful and on point!
This is the best advice I've heard from a guy in a long time. Excellent video Matthew!
I didn't see the 'soon' in the title and was thinking that it's going to be a very interesting video :D
Thank you
this video help me a lot
I just sent him the text - Now we wait, oh lord
so how did he react?
What happened girl !!!! Lol 😂
lol. I said this to a guy that i really like. and he responded me that he also thinks something long term! I love you Matthew! 😂
Very well said , Matthew, sometimes it's so hard to construct words on how to tell them that :))
Great advice! I could accept that answer from a woman.
The first time I slept with a guy was when I met him on yellow LOL I was expecting it to be a booty call then it turned into real emotions and real attractions (mind you it was literally the first day I met him then slept with him on that day). But I did own up to my actions and told him I'll see him again and said things to be slower and now we are honestly so caring and helplessly loving each other ❤️
This helped me. After my divorce and 6 years later I sept with a man too quick. I deeply regretted it, but I feel better now after watching this. Thank you...
Watched this video and said exactly what you said in the video to this guy I've been seeing, we just had the most amazing deep hearted conversation. And he asked to call me to talk after not calling for days. We talked for 2 and a half hours. Thank you. 😊 Truly.
Matthew, if you haven't already, please do a video on respect. So many women don't know what behaviors and words are signs of disrespect from a guy. Many of us from abusive environments have looser boundaries and don't see disrespect for what it is. We think it's normative for guys to say "fuck you" and "fuck off" during arguments, that's it's normative for guys to walk ahead of us into buildings, and to burp and fart without so much as an "excuse me". Where's the line between uncouth and disrespectful?
It's easier to train women to have respect for men first. Men are like fireplaces, a woman won't get any heat until she puts some wood in first.
They don't respecting u they screaming louder through farts and burbs to leave them..simple as that their asses tall
Usually they just refuse to take you out at all after you sleep with them early on...and when you bring it up they just make excuses about wanting to relax and watch tv and not go out. Around that time is where your videos on texting and being low investment and not angry are helpful lol.
I don’t regret it.
If it’s a deal breaker for him, then that’s fine- I’d rather know sooner than later whether that’s someone with conventional views or an open minded person. I want to be with an open minded, unconventional person.
Plus, it takes two to tango. Why should I be crucified for it but he should be “off the hook”?
love this
@Derrell S yup!!!
I like your video it made me realise that when you have that chemistry with someone you shouldn’t regret it especially if you like that person. Your video helped thank you 😊
It’s not so much that I regret the sex per say, but I realize (vs. regret) that I should have asked him more questions and maybe spent a bit more time. Like, telling him I want monogamy, the situation and plan for pregnancy prevention, and also being clear if he has had tests done for stds. I’ve rarely if ever have had the courage or insight to be clear with my potential or current partners to talk about this, but as I have gotten older, I realize I must look out for my body (e.g not getting pregnant or any std)… Thanks for the video
To each their own and good points. That's why I don't feel comfortable doing it too soon
One of the million reasons I ❤ u Mr. Hussey is that you always think positive and make us ,women realise how important good and sincere communication is!!!!
And I also love the fact that you always mention how we can always support our standards!!! Any time during the "game".
P.s. Leave Camilla and come with me 😉 I'll show u what I've learnt from u!!! 😂 xoxo
Can I just say you’re the only man I would marry without getting to know in person first 🤣🤣🤣. Thank you Hussey for the advice 🙏🏻
So glad I watched this. Very simple, but assertive way to take your power back. Needed this, and from a man’s perspective, thank you.
I needed this advice so bad. I slept with a guy on our first date which I didn't regret and felt like he liked me and didn't give off any vibes of not wanting to see me again then everyone started telling me I ruined my chances with him then the self doubt creeped in and I felt like they were right.
I have been in that situation before, and I did that, I just say : it was fun I had a great time. But for now on let's move in a different way and see where this is going.
Thanks for all the tips, thank you so much :) . Greetings from Venezuela.
Thanks for putting it in other words for us
Hey Matthew,
I'm french, and I'm twenty.
i didn't have any long relationship since i was born. But what i'm really thankfull about your vids, it's that it inspire me to love myself first, to ne happy first, and just, generally enjoy life with or without someone (looove your vid bout how do i enjoy being single) ! so, really, thank you to pacificate wars in me, and please continu to be that adorable !
Marina.
I loved the response. I think its exactly what I want him to know. I like him but I also want to live by my standards and if he follows them and we have a mutual understanding then its something I want to be able have with him.
you're right Matthew, because i've done that and it works.
I recently slept with my ex, someone who I was very much in love with in the past. We are still in contact and have been for the two years since we broke up and this hasn't happened before. It just happened although I am confident that this won't be happening again unless he shows any signs of progressing in that way. I have become very happy in my life without him and whatever happens in the future is fine with me and him also. I don't feel shame for sleeping with him whilst we were both single. Life doesn't always have guidelines.
Leah Marie Mead
Hi Leah.. I reading your comment.. Please tell me you think about back to you ex?
Why you guys slept have sex?
How this happened?
AAAAH I LOVE THIS I LOVE YOU AAAH ♡♡♡
lol how does matthew always know what's going on in my life!?
Thanks for this, I used it and I had a positive response and you right I felt more self respect by owning and set up my standards and he is taking me out.
Matthew your are such a "dreamboat". Classy guy from the past. You seem like the kinda guy who can appreciate a good woman. Wish we could clone you !!!!
You’re a good man. I hope you find the partner of your dreams.
everytime I sleep with a guy they stop talking to me after. does anyone have advice
comekikitwithus maybe they just wanted to sleep with you but didn't want to give you false hope?
IREALLYdontlikesnails I'm definitely waiting longer than 2 months next time - I made him wait just on 2 months and he still disappeared with another chick after another 2 months
IREALLYdontlikesnails Yep well in his defence he was willing to wait 4 months we'd booked a hotel for me to give up my virginity and everything for when I got back from an overseas trip but silly me thought our feelings were equal at 2 months afterall he was talking long term - but on the plus I don't think we were sexually compatible so because I was never sexually awakened I'm changing my definition of virginity and taking it back. I'm an honest girl so if and when I find the next guy and the sex talk comes up I'll be honest that I've technically done it but explain my view... and the other woman could well be his karma she was a woman from my past whom at one time I had declined her friendship (she's known for creating drama and being promiscuous which isn't my style) and she was introduced to us via a mutual friend a week after we started having sex... and I agreed to sweep the past under a rug for the sake of our men, unfortunately she became available the night I flew out for my month long trip overseas and in the final week of my trip he backed away / changed overnight and I could see a major rise in their interaction on social media - he was distant when I returned when I knew as girlfriend after a month he should have been wanting to see me ASAP I confronted him and he arranged to meet and broke it off 2 days before our hotel room was booked for (I really should have waited... Damn) on the grounds he realised I'd fallen in love with him and he didn't love me... and he was letting me go to find the love I deserved and he wasn't ready for a serious relationship afterall. He denied there being another woman but the other woman had been telling me to prepare for a break up and conveniently within a couple of weeks they were together - she felt the need to send me updates on their progress on social media so I blocked her - all of which makes me think she threw herself at him in my absence as a means to get back at me for the past and perhaps she's using him now -
Either way though I'm done with him and remaining celibate for the time being, and I need to forgive myself, rebuild my self confidence and rebuild my self esteem. I know now I was just his rebound girl and I regret putting myself through all that as it wasn't what I'd expected my first relationship to be but thank goodness I saw his true colours after only 4 months. Of course I don't want to be alone and it's scary now I'm 28... but I'm just going to wait again (he showed up when I didn't expect him) I'm just going to be more picky next time and be less trusting but try not to be obvious about it - I don't want my ex to stop me being a perfect girlfriend next time around since he thanked me for being the perfect girlfriend during our break up but it's going to be hard to let my guard down again.
thank you for sharing your story and your support
The Phoenix wow we should talk lol
I like that you said to own it which showed maturity with responsibility.
Excellent. How to reset & assert my standards, and not regret intimacy (even though I did wait 2 months...and then he did the friend thing 2 days later)
This was very excellant advice!! We are all human & this makes perdect sense. Dating can be so hard to know what to do.
This was just perfect. I like how you have made me stick to my standards! Thank you :D
Matthew, your advices are priceless. I did it (said what you recommended) and no matter what will be the outcome reg. developing this relationship, I feel that first of all you helped ME to stay connected with myself. Thank you!
I am the one who loses respect for a guy who judges a woman for having sex with them. That's so childish, sexist and dumb, nobody have sex alone, right? If they're against having sex, why were they doing it in the first place and why they think they are entitled to JUDGE the other person who they had sex with? I can't handle sexism anymore. And I hope everybody else can't either! And as someone already said here in the comments bellow: why don't men ever ask themselves if they slept with a girl too soon? Women out there: let's get rid of sexist men once for all!
finally a guy that gets it and is confident enough to understand women's desires as well! , thank you :)
I like when you said that I can changed my stand where time I want! Not one person Said that before for me! You are the best!
great advice! I will definitely use it as I feel things went too fast this time as I felt really connected with the guy. thanks for the words of wisdom and comfort that it doesn't mean I messed it up.
well, the guy ditched me 😓 he said: im great but we have no chemistry..
This is very helpful, tactful and respectful and doesn't make the person saying it look or feel bad. Thank you!
My sexuality is too much for me, and I have to say it ruin so many things for me! I am in a toxic relationship now, and he always use sex to get me back! I need to get out of it!
Wow sounds like seven months ago!! 2me !
Close your legs!!!! Personal responsibility.
what kind of advice is that
Get a vibrator!
Dump him and find someone hotter to sleep with. Get in a dating app. But the sex can’t be that good because you could just master bate or get another guy. I think you like the attention. I used to have that problem. It might help to see a therapist. I used to sleep with guys out of a weird distraction from my issues and to feel attention
This happened to me and I did things the way you talked about already. It was refreshing to hear you say he would have more respect for me if I slowed it down a bit, which he has and we are just going to take our time. Neither one of us wants a relationship right now and I think down the road we know what we want, plus its fun flirting and I have made a very close friend for now.
Glad I saw this tonight as me and a new person is getting on well.. we slept together and worried we ruined relationship potential but owning our actions without regret and now putting the standards back before any further damage to what could be a beautiful partnership 💯
But he ignored me
When I first met my ,now, loving boyfriend , we did it the second day, so there are no rules i think. He tried so hard to make me commit only to him, i think it had more to do with the fact that a lot of boys were interested in me at the same time as he was, and he wasnt sure who I'd pick :)
yeeesss not Sleeping with someone too soon doesnt send you to "game over" land! I have been redemned!
You are so handsome... why aren't there more men that look and think like you
@@alwaysthisnicknames Same goes for men & vice - versa.
Matthew...thank God for you. You have helped me dodge some blunders and given me some great responses that have worked a treat! Thankyou again. X
I always enjoy your advice and try to keep up with the videos. I've recently been talking to guys and following your advice on various topics. I can say, this is definitely another great video. Thanks Mattew!
My only regret sleeping with him too soon is knowing now that its difficult to mend our friendship after our recent major breakup from our intense relationship.
Wow! Wow! Wow! This is the best solution. So many good therapists have nothing decent or practical to say for that situation. Your advice will help so many women. Thank you! Such a classy response to new guy invitation to spend another night together
I wish the girl that did this to me realized that because our date and everything else that happened after was so amazing i never felt so right about a person in my life, but then she took it all back and ignored her feelings and now there’s nothing.
You should address the fact that it seems to destroy deeper relationships . I just heard a 2 hour radioshow about this partner apps and many guys admitted that it is so easy to get sex and then they move on and even make bets with they buddies who collects the most . The whole dating scene changed and ppl have problems to really connect. The guys also admitted that they keep searching for the next best thing because they think there is always a better one . So when you slept with them they move on and won't even talk to you. And thats what guys on the show admitted they lost respect for the girl because she could sleep with the next guy to when she was so easy to sleep with him after one date . Just because you don't lose respect for the girl ( mainly because you don't sleep with everybody ) doesn't mean like 60% of the guys won't lose respect or just look for another number . Women should stop sleeping around and expect to find a honest carrying partner
Sure if you want to fuck around and not be in a relationship then change the guys every weekend but I heard it from many guys that it is also difficult for them to find a serious girlfriend because women act like sluts so they don't feel like wanna be in a relationship with this women .One guy also said he is searching for women who can talk about more than shopping and fashion so he already talks to women who are not overdressed and styled but they are still empty and can't hold a conversation . We need to go back to value relationships , not only friendships where you look how much you can get out of this friendship for yourself but also partnership where you not only care that your needs are satisfied and you get upset when your partner isn't doing what you expected because its all ME ME ME
+tr smith one word: misogynist
First of all love who you are . I know to many women who get their value through men. Well if you have nothing else going on for you than your body, being seen as an sexual object gives the woman the value she doesn't have otherwise. We all are not perfect the main goal should be being a better version of yourself than you were one year ago. There are so many women complaining that the guys don't call back or just call for a booty call. Well when you have more going on for yourself you don't need to sleep with him to get his intention. Be a good conversationist , find out what you both can share with each other and where you can help and support each other . When you love yourself you can share your love with others . Don't be just an used object for men be their hero their everything , be somebody they want to spend time with
+tr smith I agree... I was discussing this subject with a few of my male co-workers, and they were in agreement that if a girl has sex with them on the first date-they wouldn't want to take her out again. Men will take what they can get-whenever they can get it. It's up to a woman to set the boundaries. If she has no boundaries-it sends the wrong message to men. Therefore, most of them will move on to the next. Sex is not a handshake. Why do something so intimate and personal before you have a committed relationship? This may be 2015-but it still makes you look Easy. Have some respect for yourself.
Thanks . I thought I am alone with my opinion but I don't get Women who doesn't have more respect for themselves
your energy is so genuine, appreciate the compassion and thoughtfulness. thank you!
Heyy thanks alot I just want asked I meet a guy in the club and I just asked me to date him just for him since one month and after exactly I started dating him and waw he is really interested for me and we just started dating for 3 days more and Suddenly in the 4 th dating we have sex and from that he just keeps silence what so u advice me
I agree this so much...love you self, respect you self and appreciated you self...
I am happy to have found you. I might have made some mistakes in the past but I have the chance to apply all these since I am yet to be married.
what would we do without you! thanks alot! :-)
thank you....just what I needed to hear right now...😊
Great advice and very encouraging 😌
thank you so much I did do the very thing that you were talking about and I didn't want to make him feel bad by saying I feel thought about doing that too early I did say from the get-go that evening when he said do you just want to go snuggle I said yes but I won't sleep with you and then he said all the things that got me to change my mind I really needed your advice I feel better he texted me and now I feel better about what I can say to him now from the bottom of my heart I am so glad helping women and you helped me I really like this man and I did think that I blew it
Thank you. It felt great at the time, but it's my nature to second-guess myself. This really helped put myself in the right mindset so that going forward, I don't approach him from a place of shame or embarrassment.
I could watch you talk all day Hussey.
I followed Matthew’s advice today and it worked!!!! Thank you so much!!
I have found that if you have sex “too soon” whatever that means, you’re screwed! If you feed a stray dog, it comes back! Lmao! Seriously! Men think you’re now in a relationship. They want all your time. They don’t want you talking to anyone else or seeing anyone else. Women are not property. I can have casual sex without expecting anything else. I’ve found 1 guy that is not clingy after sex and our sex is amazing! Blows my mind how we mesh so well sexually but he’s not someone I want in my life everyday. I think I like the challenge of it. That’s a huge turn on for me. Anyway, do what ya want when ya want! I lived without sex in a miserable relationship for far too long and I’m making up for it now and I love it! We all deserve to feel wanted & desired!!
Wow.... you sound like a player and overall just horrible person. Doesn't sound like you are being honest with these guys.That's so wrong! It's only okay to have casual sex when it's agreed upon. Don't be a b*tch to guys... they have hearts you know. Shameful.
HA!! That’s never ever happened to me. Guys always disappear on me after sex
I loved it! you are such a sweetheart, Matthew! Tanks for bringing light to the end of the tunnel! Besos! ;)
Great advice. Never too late to set a new standard!
If Matt was a lawyer, he would make this happen : Victim's family send flowers to murderer and apologize him for the inconvenience 😂😂😂