This vicious person that shows up after the mask is off almost make you shiver that you actually at one point laid down with someone that is cold, heartless & brutal!
Because they are so predictable they run out of ideas when their old tricks dont work. As the saying goes. You cant teach an old dog new tricks. 👿 Demons. Backward walking giraffes with short legs. 😆😂
@@francesoakford241 Your best defence is the 100% " no contact regime". That is eliminating the narcissist totaly. No contact IRL, No contact online ( delete them), No phone contact. Also cut out the enablers. The second is " mindfulness". That is know who they are. And DON`T underestimate the narcissist. If you think that they will not find new things, people, strategy`s they can "weaponize" against you. Then they will use this false sence of security against you. Many people think that the " gray rock" method will work. But reality is that this strategy is not a 100% sure strategy. If and when the narcissists adapts, they can stage all sorts or games against us. My point is that yes they are predictable, but don`t underestimate their will to get the " prime aims". That is narcissistic supply and control over their victims. They may become desperat when more and more people figure them out and may don`t stupid or even criminal acts. Don`t think " I know Peter he won`t do that exctreme act". Because the reality is that " Peter" don`t exist. He is a narcissist, and they are not to be underestimated.
@@jessmason2112 Wow, Jess. Love the way that you said that, so simple. He was so busy doing evil, he did not see it coming, though. But when he got the divorce papers, the shift happened.
@@francesoakford241 Frances, love that.... backward walking jiraffe. Precious. And you are right, their bag of tricks is quite limited. He stole ideas from watching me, and put the narcissistic spin to them.
I agree on this. The " autentic self", that is the self the narcissist wanted to crush, enslave, humiliate, critizese IS THE HEALING. That is reconstructing our own habits, and eliminating fawn responses or mirroring responses is a huge part of the recovery. It`s not enough to see a therapist and talk about the trauma. But as far as i can see, when the work at the therapist is done. Then the next natural step is to start the " reconstruction". But awareness of this will make it go alot easyer
@@1975normal When we " wake up", from the gaslighting/insecureity from the abuse/neglect. And get educated. We often find out the truth. That because we grew up in dysfunction ( the majority in the online community in the narc forums) , we have been brainwashed/traumatised from birth. And where indoctrinated to think toxic behaviour is normal, and to be attracted to it. 50% of the population is " securely attached" , and proven to be more or less 100% healthy, the rest have different forms of " insecure attatchment" and in that population many have toxic traits ( narcissism, anti-social traits), or codependent traits ( like we have). That is we find out that alot of the people in our lives has many toxic traits or are narcissistic. The next move for you is to get more education on narcissism/codependency , therapy ( if possible). You are on the right track!.
My narc really did steal my joy and my happy-go-lucky attitude and then had the nerve to tell me "You used to be so bright, like a bright light, what happened to you?" Knowing that he was the reason I had become an anxious, insecure, nervous person because of the mental games he played with me. I have no contact with him now, I've blocked him and it's been amazing how quickly my life became more easygoing, a weight has truly lifted off me. It's a really emotional moment when you break free from someone like this.
One of the reasons the word narcissist is so disliked is because 70's cinema was flooded with utterances of the word so that its use came to be perceived as pretentious. So I invented a neologism to replace it. "Skeevybelligerentasshole"
I attract these narcissists. I am now on a healing path and trust the Lord will continue to help me to recover from the abuse. The abuse is so awful. They have absolutely no empathy! Non humans. Run for the hills.
The " autentic self" IS THE HEALING. The problem is often that most in the community have grown up in toxic family relationships where there often was no room to be autentic. We learnd to fawn, or to be constantly in survival mode ( fight, flight, freeze, fawn). Learning to get out of this instinctiv mode takes years of therapy and deep work. Learning " self-care" skills, " self-respect" ( saying firm no, healthy boundarys) one step at the time. Self esteem skills will naturaly grow after this deep work
@@roslyncerro1263 That is brave of you!. Stick to the " no contact regime". That is delete the narcissist from all social media, block on the phone. If he calls from a another phone, then simply hang up. Don`t " explain" your self to the narcissist. You owe this con artist nothing. And remember that the only autentic person in your story, was you. The narcissist is not even a real person, only a actor. Seeking validation, attention, power, control over our minds at any cost!. To the narcissist we are nothing more than a toaster, tv, washing mashine, fridge and so on. That is a object. When they feel they are board with us, or that we no longer " function". They simply put us on the shelve like a video game and forget about us. it can go weeks, months, years, decades, but at some point the narcissist may want to " play" with us again ( they are tired of their new supply, or desperat for supply). So they do a " hoover" When there is a hoover it`s important to remember that: The narcissist has never loved us in the past. The narcissist don`t care for us in the future. The narcissist will never respect us in the present. You are real. You are autentic. And you have a " growt mindset". You can change, even if it has been 33 years. But the narcissist can`t. Their mind is " fixed", always programmed to get their " prime aims" of narcissistic supply, power/control over their victim ( us). Don`t look back!
Will never forget when the fog started to clear for me and i began to see the Narcissist for what he is - a fake, exploitative user who had nothing genuine to offer, just wanted to use me for sex and ego maintenance. I gave him a hard stare which gave the message "I know what you are" and he literally shrank from me, gave a little shiver and made his excuses that "we'd better get going" - a cowardly, pathetic bully. Very soon after, shortly before he callously discarded me his mask completely fell and I saw the black eyes and evil look of absolute hatred and contempt. Wish I'd not seen that, but perhaps it was necessary to confirm without doubt that he is a Psychopathic Covert Narcissist. Lesson learned: always pay heed to your instincts, they keep you safe from harm. 🕯️❤️
I use to believe every lie he told me, and I married him. I feel so embarrassed, and used. He has a new supply and he lies about that too. His thinking is that he'll be able to come back to me if she escape. He knows I don't come from a loving home, and I don't have friends. I am healing now.
Once you know who they are, there is no going back. Get out and live your best life that you so deserve. - Thank you Andrew for this channel and all the wisdom you share with us daily
Loving someone should flow freely, but not to the narcissist. They turn everything upside down 🙃 and turn it into a game. They know I know exactly who they are.
I’ll never forget the day I saw his mask slip! It was terrifying. Like looking at an evil skull. I knew I had to take steps to save my life. I had to dance over land mines on my way out so that he wouldn’t know I knew!
I walked away from ALL my 4 siblings, relatives, friends, coworkers, boss's, neighbors, ex-husband, etc....for well over a decade which saved my life!!!
Once the light is switched on, the cockroach (narcissist) runs for survival and from fear. When they know someone has worked them out, they become highly paranoid & fearful. The coward is exposed to their weakness, ugliness and lack of spine. The mask is shattered into a billion pieces. It can never be mended to hurt us again. That's the lesson, the empowerment & the end of the toxic bully. We've got this. Namaste Andrew 💯
I got immediately discarded and blocked everywhere since telling my ex narcissist what they are. No hoover since. Next month will be a year since the breakup. When I called him a narcissist, he said, “Narcissists and sociopaths aren’t known for their apologies. I’ve apologized to you a few times already.” He did, but they were empty blanket apologies with no ownership or accountability like “I’m sorry for everything” and “I’m sorry things didn’t work out.” I absolutely believe he is self aware of what he is and a previous ex must have called him one which is how he knows this information. He was trying to get me to second guess myself. When he saw I wasn’t budging, I got discarded and blocked everywhere. He told me “I can’t have anyone in my life who sees me that way.” In that comment, he basically admitted he had a false self.
Yes, you are right! I heard exactly the same. If you see me this way I can’t be with you!!! He tried to make the mother of his sons the bad one…. And wants me to be his cure after she „misused“ him… As I told him(4,5 years later) he s the one abusing, he tried to make me the abuser… yes that how the circle works! On and on and on it goes!!! I got out.. and I stay out!!!
@@flowerpower4944 Yes. I once came across someone on the internet saying they’re like a chocolate bunny that you get for Easter. All wrapped up in shiny foil but they are hollow and empty in the middle.🐰
I’m still recovering from abusive narcissistic family, friends, colleagues, and a crazy “marriage.” Your channel has helped me through the minefield. Once you’ve been educated, you cannot see their behaviors through rose colored glasses. Smile, fake them out, RUN!!!!
It’s been the last ten years when an old school friend introduced me to term of narcissism in relation to a non romantic relationship. I always thought of that term as being in a romantic relationship. But over the years and definitely in the last x months I’ve seen a supposed ‘friend’ has been such a narcissistic element in my life. I feel much lighter. Realised they were almost disappointed that I wasn’t letting things get to me by others and realised they enjoyed me always ‘chasing’ them in a way. When I was focused elsewhere- it was a problem. New friends- unbearable for them. It’s quite upsetting when you finally see the manipulating and gaslighting behaviours. The calling you sick in the head when they know you’re onto them. When you cut them off. You don’t volunteer information. When you don’t ask them anything- they realise you don’t ask because you’re past caring. Or you ask once only…. Whereas before you would continuously ask and they enjoyed not responding then they turn around and play victim and try to flip it that you don’t care because you don’t ask….. Gosh- I’m still at the stage of ‘decompressing’ it’s overwhelming the realisation of yourself being subjected to narcissistic behaviour for YEARS.
My Narcissistic partner didn’t hang around for long when I started questioning his behaviour, and treatment of me. The mask slipped, the cold dark eyes, and then out of the door, and out of mine and my family’s life
When the narcs know that we found them out they hate it but they act as if they don't care. Well my father used to say and i quote " you can lie to others but you can't lie to yourself" the narcs will have to deal with the consequences eventually sooner or later that's what i believe. The boomerang effect. Good looking location where you are Andrew, i love it. Take some ME time for yourself this weekend. Love you coach. Have a wonderful afternoon ❤❤😊
When your relationship ends the narcissist needs a new source of supply immediately.Not just any old source either, but top grade to replace what they had with you. Even if they have someone new lined up, it will take time and effort to break them in. They will be hoovering everyone they can, not just you. Don't mistake it for love, no matter what they might say. It's all about them.
I found out alright & finally went no contact without any confrontation. It was to their surprise no doubt. Because I cared & didn't want to hurt anyone I allowed their bad behavior to Lord all over my life. It became obvious they didn't care about anything but running the show! I will never choose to be so sweet, tolerant, a turning the other cheek person again if any narc crosses my path....CAUSE I KNOW NOW! 🎀😘
Hey Ruby!!! How are you doing?! 🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗 Sorry I was away for a few days this week, as I was preparing for my piano evaluation (for lack of a better term). It took me several days, but I was WELL prepared and ended up doing GREAT! So I’m proud of myself, my instructor is proud of me, and it’s a whole cycle of success!!! ❤❤❤ I hope you’re doing VERY well, Sweet Ruby!!!
There's a right time and right place to let them know you know they're a fake. I ended my relationship because I had lost myself and everything in this life to him. Then I found you Andrew and learned so much and followed your teaching and got as far away as possible. I was in disbelief for so long. I couldn't imagine a person could be that way on purpose. This individual was a pure demon. And to know it was all intentional to cause me grief, distress, destruction and damage is spine chilling.
I can relate to your words. I too ‘lost myself’, became a shadow and empty shell of a person. Once I escaped I was elated (as I never thought I could get out) but was in a wierd, stunned state. My body language for ages was shaking my head from side to side. I found myself doing this repeatedly. I couldn’t explain to anyone what had happened as I didn’t have any knowledge then about narcs. I was just living with a tangled mess inside of ‘memories’, happenings that didn’t make sense. Eventually I realised that the head shaking was ‘disbelief’. Yes how could someone do those things intentionally to harm someone that they are supposed to love? Yes indeed ….It was spine chilling. 🌸
After my discard in january, I started therapy, journaling, and watching your channel, Andrew. I never would have understood what I had been through and what NPD was, without this support. I will say, this was the most difficult period of my life, and I felt I wouldn't get through it, many times. To anyone that is watching Andrew's video that is feeling this way, please believe that you will get through it! You will reach the Pinnacle of indifference if you follow everything Andrew teaches you. Thank you Andrew, and all of your followers for helping me to realize I am truly not alone.❤
You're absolutely right gailyhanna, you're not alone! This highly educated female coworker pounced on my vulnerability, knowing I lost my Mom, Dad, and our neighbors of 30 years all within 5 hours, 9 days before Christmas. She would act as if she had a romantic interest in me for months, showering me with kindness and displaying signs of attraction towards me. Luckily for me, I never took the bait because I never felt a romantic vibe for her. Then came the discard phase where she told lies, used manipulation tactics, deflected, and ran a smear campaign on me just to mention a few. These videos are helping me heal from the acts of narcacisim brought on by a highly educated narcissist. Their raw and their real and I want to wish you the very best through your healing process.
Mine came across a narc video completely by chance on his own. He said he could see things that were similar to him like how he rushed the relationship along (we were engaged after 6 weeks). We were together for 5 yrs thankfully we never married he refused to sign a prenup said his love was worth something. I bought my ex-husband out of this house this home was for my children it was their safe place. I have called him out and told him what he is and to keep watching the videos his response was that he would start over with a new slate. That was my discard I have heard from him a few times once even in the middle of the night his drunk call. When I blocked him he reached out to my son guess he hasn't found his new slate yet. Bottoms up is all I have to say to him.
She discarded me, BUT, I believe that it was only because she realized that she couldn't control me anymore after I walked away from her a few times. All I wanted was to have normal conversation and to find a way to fix everything but not her. Now I have answers to everything and I see everything for what it was. Thank you, sir. 🙏
There can be no " normal conversation" with the narcissist. They are relentless in their pursuit of the " prime aims" that is to suck you dry of narcissistic supply ( their main fuel), and to control your mind and emotions. Don`t underestimate the narcissists will to power. And will to destruction of their victim ( us/you). Your empathic trait of wanting to " fix" the relationship, is what the narcissist is counting on. But this is a fantasy in your mind. There is nothing to fix. That is if one person is trying to destroy the other persons mind. Then it is not the relationship that is the problem. But the narcissists insanity, hatred, sadism. Stay safe!. That is go " No contact". And stay out!
Same with me.....He told me right before our last argument; "you are acting different." It is because I started to detach and was not buying his bull shit anymore, then his mask slipped and I have not spoken to him since. Been 2 weeks only however, I feel very depressed but not as much as being with him.
When they know, you've figured it out it's high Alert and definitely time to leave. You never know how they react. Your knowledge will be the turning point in your life. In my case he was happy that I left, the new supply was already in the pipeline. Thank you Andrew, I agree with you on everything you said. My peace is worth on all I had to go through. Take care! 😊🦋
So happend to me . I saw it I called it out new supply (an ex) was in pipeline! He was in lovebomb Phase with me again while he was texting old supply. He was happy to move out ! He can’t do the shared phantasy again and he knew this ! He is now the victim poor boy ..nothing did work anymore what he tried to do to me ! 🎉
NOW I AM A DIAMOND NO BODY CAN MANIPULATE ME ANYMORE AND I CALL THEM OUT RESPECTFULY. TIME IS OVER ❤ Thank you, you are not my only teacher but you are a great one ❤
Truly, if it wasn't for the the final blow; I would not have had the time alone....to discover exactly who they were... And to find myself again!!! So in a way.... I am thankful for that. Not at that time; but looking back; now, only looking forward...AMEN!❤❤❤
If you do hear "I'm Sorry" it's not real at all. Its to dodge accountability, I know this first hand the amount of times my ex narc wife would say this would be equivalent to the amount of times someone says the word "like" !!
When I finally had evidence of the lies she had been telling me and provided it to her, she immediately deleted me from social media and went dark. I subsequently blocked her. I have accept the woman I thought I loved was not who I thought she was. It's painful
My "X" didn't just leave, when I asked her what #BPD was (she claimed to have that just before moving out). No -- she broke things, hit me with stuff, called me racial names...damaged the house. Stole my dog. Stole other things of mine...and is trying to sue me for MORE money from our home's (eventual) sale. She's like...the Devil's little sister or something. She's literally trying to 'wreck me' if she can. And I've honored & respected her, as others 'ditched' her over the years...but that's meant nothing, in the end.
Andrew today was a great day I went bowling today and my girlfriend had a surprise for me it was a sweetest day card it said I love you for who you are we shared a cheese bread together it was the best ever
Nex spent innumerable hours talking about his life, his family, always acting like His life was the only one that mattered. He ignored when I told him I lived also prior to his arrival. Thank God it is over, no contact. Thank you Andrew!
Thank you Andrew. I got discarded by a few narcissist family members recently at the same time after i stood up for myself for the first time. They couldn’t stand that i wouldn’t just accept more self doubt and manipulation .Im processing my feelings knowing it’s for the best . All my resources are depleted . I used to have so much energy and motivation and now i have a hard time trying to get out of bed . Im trying rebuild myself one day at a time
I am having a hard time getting out of bed, too. I feel so tired. I am suffering from panuck attacks. I am completely isolated. The narcissist has moved onto his new victims. I confronted him and told him I knew everything. The friends I thought were my friends turned out to be flying monkeys and were fake as the narcissist. I know I don't want any narcissist in my life.
@@AS-gf5jn Your so right , thank-you . I miss it a lot , working out helps reduce my anxiety too which i need . Its so hard to take the first step . I’ve gained weight feel self conscious but I need to just start going i’d probably feel a lot better. I need to get back to my healthy routine ! I was a lot happier and healthier. Thank you so much for the advice and kind words.
I can relate to you. Im a widow who lost my only child last year. 2 months ago, lost my brother who was the only sibling of 3 who cared. Some days I don't want to get out of bed either, but I push myself because I know that as bad as things are now, they can go nowhere but up from here. I've seen others go through this and in time their life turned completely around. I feel there is something good just around the corner for me, so I will not give my narc siblings the satisfaction that their wickedness has broken me completely down. I may be down right now, but not out...I know God has something good in place for me soon. Hang in there. When you feel you are at the end of your rope, just tie a knot in it and hang on.
I think I heard the dark heavy chains of the trauma bond shatter when I finally truly understood that the woman I thought I loved (emotional / psychological trick they perform so well) was a malignant narcissist. I told her so naively and the discard came quickly afterwards .. but my life was in danger as I had 1 week to escape and she was an expert in biochemistry working in medical field .. she knows the various chemicals that would leave little trace of their presence in my corpse
Yes Andrew...once they cant use you they are gone. Once you know what they are, nothing is the same . You are sickened by them but go into to denial ( trauma bonding) but you just get sick.
Thanks to getting wiser 😌 My last experience with a Narcissistic boss, when I knew ,I didn't let them know ,I acted my self out to the closest Exit,!! Silently left ,that person knew exactly why I left !narcs dont explain their lies & actions ,why should we!
They say the 2 best days with a boat is when you buy it and when you sell it. It feels the same with the narcissist… when you get them (love bombing) and when they are out of your life…. Fake love isn’t what anyone needs.
I did call him out several times. He knows I'm a Super Empath. Heyoka Empath. Him a covert narcissist. Andrew, I made it out alive. I'm no contact 90 days. I don't think about him nor do I miss him. I don't care. I don't want to get close to him anymore. He told me that he's done some things that he's not proud of. I thought wow! Did that just come out of his mouth. But then he turned around and has been an ass. He didn't run even though I called him out.
You are a top notch educator Andrew and I am so grateful that you appeared, seemingly unrelated, in my feed almost 2 years ago. I watched you daily, sometimes several or more episodes at first and you helped me beyond anything I could have asked for. I was lucky enough to discard the narcissist from my home in early June of 2022 and believe me, if it wasn't my place I would have been gone long before. I want you to know that you saved me in ways I won't go into here. I have been living my life again since I went away and unfortunately came down with sepsis pneumonia and was hospitalised for this, just in time, if you get my point. I'm back home now and on the mend and strangely, being hospitalised helped me to realise that there are people who care, outside of the personal zone. You are one of those life saving people too Andrew and it's wonderful to see you again, pushing us all forward. Bless you Andrew, over and over. Namaste ❤🙏🏻💕🕊🌠🌴🌺☮
Thank you Andrew. He promised me the world....then he dumped me amidst a mountain of lies. He disappeared as though he never existed. Then he returned a month later like nothing happened. Veryodd. I had applied the no contact rule, and it worked. But again, he dumped me a month later, blocking me from everything....for no apparent reason. I see now that he is very unwell, and had dragged out of me all my loving, positive traits, then just dumped me. He never gave me closure....he just kept checking on me on social media. He indeed wanted me kind of stuck and pineing for him, and it seems that made him feel good, ego boost if you like. I feel stronger now in myself, as I took all my beautiful traits back to myself, and my energy is focused on my great job and my friends. Thanks again!
Good evening Andrew..You really love beautiful things in the great outdoors.The backdrop is always stunning.Thank you for this video.The narcissist can be broken with education. They're not so clever but extremely selfish,evil,manipulative beings...... altogether very unattractive, weak cowardly people. Thank you so much for opening my mind to the truth.❤🍁🌾🌻
I think that they don't care what you are doing after the relationship. They just forget you. Even if you live your best life. They don't care. You are on a shelf for hoover maybe. Stay away. That's the best.
You are right. The journey after the discard is long and lonely and rough. It's been 10 months and I was finally able to cut off contact with my ex about two months ago (I would have done it much sooner, but I had to play the game until I could get the rest of my stuff). Now I'm starting a new job and will be able to move into my own place after having spent most of the year living with a family member. Yay for little wins 🎉 This year, my 40th year, has been the worst year of my life. The growing pains are humbling, but I am starting to come out on the other side. Thank you for these videos. ✌💛🙏
So true, Andrew!! My eyes are now open. I finally had enough of him & kicked him out. I have been no contact for 6 weeks now. It's been so difficult, but I have made it this far. Thank you Andrew for your advice. It keeps me going knowing that I am not alone.
elizabethmercado6766 You are not alone. We are here for you. Keep watching Andrew’s videos. I binge watch them as needed. It is all truth exactly how he states it. The comments from the community are very helpful. Stay Strong 💪 you did the right thing. It is difficult and painful. You will make it through this. God’s blessings to you. 🙏🏻for your healing. ✝️🙏🏻🕊️☀️😎🌸🌳🌎❤️
10:10 From experience, and imo, they discard different used people at different points in the abuse cycle so as to create the illusion that those newly recuited are also above (their intended disposed).
It has been a little over 2 months since me and our daughter hot discarded. One day i was the best the next he left an almost 15 year relationship. My kid is 13 and she told me he is a narcissistic and I started looking into what that was. So many explosive interactions while doing fun activities that I started Grey rocking him before I knew what it was because I just didn't want to argue. I was honest and transparent. I loved him and would have done anything for him. It is a sad time for me and my kiddo but I see light. And childhood traumas have been healing when my family and friends rallied around me. I am blessed and lucky that I built friendships without him involved. He never liked that but it was a deal breaker for me. I need relationships outside my main person. Anyway I wish you all well and I an waiting to get my energy back and enjoying life the best I can considering.
Plus I can spend 24 hours aday pondering all things. While they work, while they sleep, while they get drunk, there we are. In the dark, in the light. Ho ho ho. For xmas a gift of grey rock,
This is a very humbling video, in the sense of the courage you have to state with conviction, the absolute danger of dealing in any way with Narcissists. I don't think I'd have the emotional strength, not to have a quiver in my voice if I tried to explain it to one person. Wishing you the soundest sleep you've had post Narc involvement, remembering at the end of the day, you've helped and enlightened thousands!👍👐👁
Look after you health. Just as you adopted a no contact policy with the narc , adopt a no bad intake of anything be it alcohol or drugs or bad food. Work out every single day. Have only one cup of coffee. Then at night sleep like an angel . I have bee doing this now for many years. I’m 72 but I feel 27. For real. Good night brothers and sisters.
I absolutely love your content. I can think a certain way about my ex, then doubt myself. Lo and behold, you literally bring it up and confirm what I had already been thinking. That tells me to follow my intuition and not doubt myself. Thank you, Andrew. Have a great day.
A covert narcissist is a Butterfly-Spider. They pretend to be a beautiful/fragile victim -until the web is woven ~and by then; it's too late. #LeaveSmart 🛫🛬 Thank you Andrew -for all that you do. ✌
Yes. Good description. Before knowing about narcs and toxic relationships I felt like I was trapped in a web. I was so deeply entangled I almost couldn’t function as a human being. Stayed far too long. Eventually I abseiled out of it and escaped. 🌸
My ex narcissist wife 6 month since I lerft the marriage and now in the middle of a divorce. Still trying to hoover. Her new supply is elderly and is on his last leg of life. She already swindled a nice car out of him. I feel sorry for any person that needs her kind of help. Crazy how the narcissist will take advantage of people that are ill or dying Thank you Andrew for sharing your wisdom.
I was always defending myself from attacks it was so hard to be in that state of mind that I become angry and said what I usually wouldnt say ,that energy it was horror it was oposite i was called first that I am a narcissist ,crazy sick person so much insults not just verbal and much more.Thank you Andrew for hope and path you give me ,i was so lost so tired no voice inside
If me serving him with divorce papers and going through with it didn't make it know to the narcissist that I know who he really is, I'm sure the fact that he has been blocked drove the point home.
Truly amazing how one can be surrounded by many, and for so long…and didn’t have a clue. You’re dead on with the sitting with one’s self will bring about awareness! What a dark, desolate place. For anyone that learns to love themselves enough to do that “work”, Congratulations!🎊
She cost me the equivalent of about $5000 and an awful lot of energy and constraint over five years time but in the end she realized she had gotten a bigger chew than she managed to handle. She knows I have evidence of illegal activities as well as legal but not morally acceptable behavior. She knows I'll never take her back, no matter what. She's also aware that in time our son will se the evidence. Im not in a hurry. My time will come. The narcs aren't invincible. Dont forget that. It costs energy but in the end it's cheaper than staying in the relationship.
Thanks Andrew ,so much knowledge which hurts so bad but I had to let them go today forever since they caused damage to my property. I couldn’t believe it but with all the knowledge,I didn’t except the hoover and they will be out of my life forever 🙏🥺
You have described what has happened to me in my life. Everything you say is exactly true. We are all headed in the same direction. Towards the Light, Love, Joy, Peace. God bless you Andrew❤
I so agree & resonate with everything you are saying in this video. Great video with so much insight. Almost 2 years after the discard (& no contact from him) the narcissist made a hoover attempt. He made no acknowledgement at all of what he had done. I calmly & honestly told him the state he had left me in with the discard, how it felt (etc). He said he didn't like how what I was saying made him feel. He also said "I thought this would be easier ". I didn't have much wisdom at that time on narcissism. I praise God that I was able to discern who he was & what he was doing. I didn't accept the hoover. The narcissist does a lot of damage. The healing journey is not a short or easy one. But you will come out of it a stronger & wiser person. Thank you for what you do Andrew. God's blessings to you 🙂☀️☀️. Hang in there everyone
Heyy!! I lived this. Every word! It was my female friend since my teens. Saaadly enough. I loved her. LOVED. One day she did that thing to me: she gaslighted me. I knew she lied! And had to ask that final question: "why do you lie?" - She raged against me and said a lot of strange things. I did not know this was it. And I would not have ripped her mask off if I had known what was to come. I agree, never do that, never!! I'm still sad really, that we (I) ended our relation that dirty. I would never do it again. That moment I learnt what it was all about. I'm sorry for both of us. Thank you for a fantastic video. /Annie ❤
After telling my ex he was a narcissist he tried the smear campaign, sent the flying monkeys and even tried to have the court take away my kid's. He tried all the tricks up his narc sleeve and he was met with opposition. He wasn't sorry 1 bit for the lies, scandal and additional trauma he brought into my life after I left him. He was only embaressed that his tactics didn't work. Eventually people around him started to see his true self. That put a stop to his bully tactics.
This is absolutely right my family always were takers never reciprocated. I invested love and energy. It was so hard at first because heart broken, couldn’t believe what was going on. These people had no compassion for me. I took care of my parents until they passed. I thought my sister would have compassion and work on our relationship after our parents passed. I was so upset that I no longer have her in my life. If you have a relationship that people don’t value you start removing them. They are unhealthy people that drain your energy.
Bless you. I’m am so sorry to hear what you went through. I can totally relate as my story is very similar. I am slowly removing these people from my life too. ❤
Hi Andrew yes i did i got so mad at her and called her a narcissis she went crazy on me but now she knows i know my own kids tell me to leave she call our friends and tell them flat out lies about me tells them i am nuts and getting senile she hates when i play my guitar she screems at me i been playing guitar for 55 years was in a band she loved it back then but now anything i do is wrong i never seen a person so nasty in my life like her but thank you for teaching me what to do its just a long road for me Amen to all of you impath friends
The last one that invited itself into my life without my permission tried to accuse me and then blew the gig by having a melt down, i calmly told it they were the narc, they are having the hissyfit. Boom! It went nuclear like an adult 2 year old. It was just sad in the end. What did it expect? It arrogantly told me what it would do if I let it into my life and showed me most of it's disgusting behaviour towards others. Id made it clear i didn't hate myself that much to ever let that be an intimate partner but they don't hear what they don't want to. Watch out for this, some will still involve themselves in your life and mess with it no matter how many times you say no.
Awake and aware!!! Great 👍 I celebrated the awaykening long times ago now the wrong writing is not wrong any more… this birthday was my awake and I got away from him!!! 😂😂
Divorced my wife after 9 years, she told me at the age of 49 that she didn't want a family, no fostering, no surrogacy, no adoption. Went through a year of mediation agreeing that she would never take what wasn't hers. I put most of my life savings into building a home for a family with a huge investment from my father. When she realised that I was serious about leaving her she cancelled mediation and filed for court. Showing an interest in my family home, pension and everything else that she didn't contribute to. It's been a hard realisation that I married and trusted a Narcissist for all of these years. She says she still loves me but wants to put me and my family through as much pain as possible without any regard for me, my father and my mother who is in ill health. Says she deserves more. No empathy whatsoever. Pure evil !
After ten years and a son, whose custody I have, I figured her out, and she was gone within a week. That was when the sewer opened up for real. The mess and misery is inimaginable. This creature didn't even want her own son, but I had to fight for him in court, spending fortunes, while she had a state lawyer, because she wasn't interested in him to begin with. The process was another punishment.
They know. It’s been one awakening after another Andrew, but I find a lot of solace in places much like that scene behind you. And within myself. There are still good people, but a lot of us are extra cautious now as we rebuild with this new foundation (and that seems fair). So many good points in this message and if it is someone’s first video, it has many nuggets to help them. Wishing you and all a peaceful rest❤🙏
Andrew thank you so much for walking me to the pinnacle of indifference and shoving me over the cliff to complete joy and fulfillment and healing!!! You so rock
This vicious person that shows up after the mask is off almost make you shiver that you actually at one point laid down with someone that is cold, heartless & brutal!
💯💯😌
They are demonic entities in a meat suit.
😮
ditto here
Exactly right . After awhile one might actually lay awake next to them in fear of what they're capable of.
There is absolutely a SHIFT when they know you know.
They know they are going to need an attorney.
Because they are so predictable they run out of ideas when their old tricks dont work. As the saying goes. You cant teach an old dog new tricks. 👿 Demons. Backward walking giraffes with short legs. 😆😂
@@francesoakford241 Your best defence is the 100% " no contact regime". That is eliminating the narcissist totaly. No contact IRL, No contact online ( delete them), No phone contact. Also cut out the enablers.
The second is " mindfulness". That is know who they are. And DON`T underestimate the narcissist. If you think that they will not find new things, people, strategy`s they can "weaponize" against you. Then they will use this false sence of security against you.
Many people think that the " gray rock" method will work. But reality is that this strategy is not a 100% sure strategy. If and when the narcissists adapts, they can stage all sorts or games against us. My point is that yes they are predictable, but don`t underestimate their will to get the " prime aims". That is narcissistic supply and control over their victims.
They may become desperat when more and more people figure them out and may don`t stupid or even criminal acts. Don`t think " I know Peter he won`t do that exctreme act". Because the reality is that " Peter" don`t exist. He is a narcissist, and they are not to be underestimated.
@@jessmason2112 Wow, Jess. Love the way that you said that, so simple. He was so busy doing evil, he did not see it coming, though. But when he got the divorce papers, the shift happened.
@@francesoakford241 Frances, love that.... backward walking jiraffe. Precious. And you are right, their bag of tricks is quite limited. He stole ideas from watching me, and put the narcissistic spin to them.
Like Sam Vaknin says: after a narcissistic relationship you don't need recovery. You need reconstruction.
Absolutely
I agree on this. The " autentic self", that is the self the narcissist wanted to crush, enslave, humiliate, critizese IS THE HEALING. That is reconstructing our own habits, and eliminating fawn responses or mirroring responses is a huge part of the recovery. It`s not enough to see a therapist and talk about the trauma. But as far as i can see, when the work at the therapist is done. Then the next natural step is to start the " reconstruction". But awareness of this will make it go alot easyer
My boss is one of the narcissists in my life.
THANK YOU
My wife is too.
My Dad was too
that is very negative AND it comes from a narcissist... so i wont listen to it
@@1975normal When we " wake up", from the gaslighting/insecureity from the abuse/neglect. And get educated. We often find out the truth. That because we grew up in dysfunction ( the majority in the online community in the narc forums) , we have been brainwashed/traumatised from birth. And where indoctrinated to think toxic behaviour is normal, and to be attracted to it. 50% of the population is " securely attached" , and proven to be more or less 100% healthy, the rest have different forms of " insecure attatchment" and in that population many have toxic traits ( narcissism, anti-social traits), or codependent traits ( like we have). That is we find out that alot of the people in our lives has many toxic traits or are narcissistic.
The next move for you is to get more education on narcissism/codependency , therapy ( if possible). You are on the right track!.
My narc really did steal my joy and my happy-go-lucky attitude and then had the nerve to tell me "You used to be so bright, like a bright light, what happened to you?" Knowing that he was the reason I had become an anxious, insecure, nervous person because of the mental games he played with me. I have no contact with him now, I've blocked him and it's been amazing how quickly my life became more easygoing, a weight has truly lifted off me. It's a really emotional moment when you break free from someone like this.
💯🙏😌
Personal Victories come in all kinds of ways. Thanks for sharing that your methods worked!👍
Same here ,I'm free ,God bless ,namaste
One of the reasons the word narcissist is so disliked is because 70's cinema was flooded with utterances of the word so that its use came to be perceived as pretentious. So I invented a neologism to replace it. "Skeevybelligerentasshole"
I attract these narcissists. I am now on a healing path and trust the Lord will continue to help me to recover from the abuse. The abuse is so awful. They have absolutely no empathy! Non humans. Run for the hills.
Yes, absolutely!!!
🎀😘
Once you realign with your true self, you will find it very easy to walk away and go NO CONTACT! FREEDOM to be is irriplacable ❤
😌💯🙏
The " autentic self" IS THE HEALING. The problem is often that most in the community have grown up in toxic family relationships where there often was no room to be autentic. We learnd to fawn, or to be constantly in survival mode ( fight, flight, freeze, fawn). Learning to get out of this instinctiv mode takes years of therapy and deep work. Learning " self-care" skills, " self-respect" ( saying firm no, healthy boundarys) one step at the time. Self esteem skills will naturaly grow after this deep work
I never wasted my time telling him what he is. I just left for good .❣️
💪💯😌
Better late than never!❤😊💪🏻
Excellent comment!. This should have a million thumbs up!. This is the correct move
@@Ikaros23It took me 33 years, yet better late than never.❣️
@@roslyncerro1263 That is brave of you!. Stick to the " no contact regime". That is delete the narcissist from all social media, block on the phone. If he calls from a another phone, then simply hang up. Don`t " explain" your self to the narcissist. You owe this con artist nothing. And remember that the only autentic person in your story, was you. The narcissist is not even a real person, only a actor. Seeking validation, attention, power, control over our minds at any cost!.
To the narcissist we are nothing more than a toaster, tv, washing mashine, fridge and so on. That is a object. When they feel they are board with us, or that we no longer " function". They simply put us on the shelve like a video game and forget about us. it can go weeks, months, years, decades, but at some point the narcissist may want to " play" with us again ( they are tired of their new supply, or desperat for supply). So they do a " hoover"
When there is a hoover it`s important to remember that:
The narcissist has never loved us in the past. The narcissist don`t care for us in the future. The narcissist will never respect us in the present.
You are real. You are autentic. And you have a " growt mindset". You can change, even if it has been 33 years. But the narcissist can`t. Their mind is " fixed", always programmed to get their " prime aims" of narcissistic supply, power/control over their victim ( us).
Don`t look back!
Will never forget when the fog started to clear for me and i began to see the Narcissist for what he is - a fake, exploitative user who had nothing genuine to offer, just wanted to use me for sex and ego maintenance. I gave him a hard stare which gave the message "I know what you are" and he literally shrank from me, gave a little shiver and made his excuses that "we'd better get going" - a cowardly, pathetic bully. Very soon after, shortly before he callously discarded me his mask completely fell and I saw the black eyes and evil look of absolute hatred and contempt. Wish I'd not seen that, but perhaps it was necessary to confirm without doubt that he is a Psychopathic Covert Narcissist. Lesson learned: always pay heed to your instincts, they keep you safe from harm. 🕯️❤️
💯💯😌🙏
I use to believe every lie he told me, and I married him. I feel so embarrassed, and used. He has a new supply and he lies about that too. His thinking is that he'll be able to come back to me if she escape. He knows I don't come from a loving home, and I don't have friends. I am healing now.
Once you know who they are, there is no going back. Get out and live your best life that you so deserve.
- Thank you Andrew for this channel and all the wisdom you share with us daily
Welcome..🙏💜😌
Loving someone should flow freely, but not to the narcissist. They turn everything upside down 🙃 and turn it into a game. They know I know exactly who they are.
👉🌹🌹👉🌟👉💖💖☘️🤍🌻🌲have a lovely night Sherry,
@flowerpower4944 thank you. Please do the same dear one. ❤️🙏✨️🌻
Game scammers..
Yea he knew that I knew,,cause I was starting to see less of him,,and I was pulling away, then I left💖💖
@@ESSIEMARIE1998hope you are keeping well,Essiemarie,sending love joy and hope and light,,Blessings 👉🌟👉💖💖👉🙏🙏🙏🤗
I’ll never forget the day I saw his mask slip! It was terrifying. Like looking at an evil skull. I knew I had to take steps to save my life. I had to dance over land mines on my way out so that he wouldn’t know I knew!
💯💯😌🙏
I walked away from ALL my 4 siblings, relatives, friends, coworkers, boss's, neighbors, ex-husband, etc....for well over a decade which saved my life!!!
😌💯🙌
Once the light is switched on, the cockroach (narcissist) runs for survival and from fear. When they know someone has worked them out, they become highly paranoid & fearful. The coward is exposed to their weakness, ugliness and lack of spine. The mask is shattered into a billion pieces. It can never be mended to hurt us again. That's the lesson, the empowerment & the end of the toxic bully. We've got this. Namaste Andrew 💯
I have a very dim view of the narc.
He was once an attractive man, now he's the least attractive person I have ever met.
💯💯😌😉
Yep...& so the story goes!!!
Blessings
🎀😘
I will agree with you god bless namaste 🙏
It’s not that your view is dim, you see them for what they are. You can never be attractive having an ugly spirit.
I got immediately discarded and blocked everywhere since telling my ex narcissist what they are. No hoover since. Next month will be a year since the breakup. When I called him a narcissist, he said, “Narcissists and sociopaths aren’t known for their apologies. I’ve apologized to you a few times already.” He did, but they were empty blanket apologies with no ownership or accountability like “I’m sorry for everything” and “I’m sorry things didn’t work out.” I absolutely believe he is self aware of what he is and a previous ex must have called him one which is how he knows this information. He was trying to get me to second guess myself. When he saw I wasn’t budging, I got discarded and blocked everywhere. He told me “I can’t have anyone in my life who sees me that way.” In that comment, he basically admitted he had a false self.
Glad you got away
Yes, you are right! I heard exactly the same. If you see me this way I can’t be with you!!! He tried to make the mother of his sons the bad one…. And wants me to be his cure after she „misused“ him…
As I told him(4,5 years later) he s the one abusing, he tried to make me the abuser… yes that how the circle works! On and on and on it goes!!! I got out.. and I stay out!!!
Yea the sure are False,,nothingness wrapped in shiny paper,👉🌟🌟wishing you all the best on your Healing,, 🙏🙏
@@flowerpower4944 Yes. I once came across someone on the internet saying they’re like a chocolate bunny that you get for Easter. All wrapped up in shiny foil but they are hollow and empty in the middle.🐰
You done good!!!
I’m still recovering from abusive narcissistic family, friends, colleagues, and a crazy “marriage.”
Your channel has helped me through the minefield.
Once you’ve been educated, you cannot see their behaviors through rose colored glasses.
Smile, fake them out,
RUN!!!!
Thank you for sharing 💯😌🙏💪🙌
It’s been the last ten years when an old school friend introduced me to term of narcissism in relation to a non romantic relationship. I always thought of that term as being in a romantic relationship. But over the years and definitely in the last x months I’ve seen a supposed ‘friend’ has been such a narcissistic element in my life. I feel much lighter. Realised they were almost disappointed that I wasn’t letting things get to me by others and realised they enjoyed me always ‘chasing’ them in a way. When I was focused elsewhere- it was a problem. New friends- unbearable for them. It’s quite upsetting when you finally see the manipulating and gaslighting behaviours. The calling you sick in the head when they know you’re onto them. When you cut them off. You don’t volunteer information. When you don’t ask them anything- they realise you don’t ask because you’re past caring. Or you ask once only…. Whereas before you would continuously ask and they enjoyed not responding then they turn around and play victim and try to flip it that you don’t care because you don’t ask….. Gosh- I’m still at the stage of ‘decompressing’ it’s overwhelming the realisation of yourself being subjected to narcissistic behaviour for YEARS.
My Narcissistic partner didn’t hang around for long when I started questioning his behaviour, and treatment of me. The mask slipped, the cold dark eyes, and then out of the door, and out of mine and my family’s life
When the narcs know that we found them out they hate it but they act as if they don't care. Well my father used to say and i quote " you can lie to others but you can't lie to yourself" the narcs will have to deal with the consequences eventually sooner or later that's what i believe. The boomerang effect. Good looking location where you are Andrew, i love it. Take some ME time for yourself this weekend. Love you coach. Have a wonderful afternoon ❤❤😊
@@ESSIEMARIE1998 ☀️🙌🙏
I think the narc even lies to himself. His world is twisted completely.
When your relationship ends the narcissist needs a new source of supply immediately.Not just any old source either, but top grade to replace what they had with you. Even if they have someone new lined up, it will take time and effort to break them in. They will be hoovering everyone they can, not just you. Don't mistake it for love, no matter what they might say. It's all about them.
Love the cockroach analogy. Lol. They truly do run when the light is shone on them.
I found out alright & finally went no contact without any confrontation.
It was to their surprise no doubt. Because I cared & didn't want to hurt anyone I allowed their bad behavior to Lord all over my life. It became obvious they didn't care about anything but running the show!
I will never choose to be so sweet, tolerant, a turning the other cheek
person again if any narc crosses my path....CAUSE I KNOW NOW! 🎀😘
No, the word narcissist really isn't the sexiest word in the world 😅
Andrew, you are a legend ❤🎉
Hey Ruby!!! How are you doing?! 🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗 Sorry I was away for a few days this week, as I was preparing for my piano evaluation (for lack of a better term). It took me several days, but I was WELL prepared and ended up doing GREAT! So I’m proud of myself, my instructor is proud of me, and it’s a whole cycle of success!!! ❤❤❤ I hope you’re doing VERY well, Sweet Ruby!!!
@@jennifernewton4637well congratulations 🎉🎉 Jennifer that's great,hope you are keeping well lots of love sent ,now and always,👉💖💖💖👉🎉🎉👉🌹🌻🤍👉🙏🙏☘️🌼
@@jennifernewton4637 hello, my sweet Jen ❤️🥰
I'm so glad for you. 🥇🥰💪
There's a right time and right place to let them know you know they're a fake. I ended my relationship because I had lost myself and everything in this life to him. Then I found you Andrew and learned so much and followed your teaching and got as far away as possible. I was in disbelief for so long. I couldn't imagine a person could be that way on purpose. This individual was a pure demon. And to know it was all intentional to cause me grief, distress, destruction and damage is spine chilling.
I can relate to your words. I too ‘lost myself’, became a shadow and empty shell of a person. Once I escaped I was elated (as I never thought I could get out) but was in a wierd, stunned state. My body language for ages was shaking my head from side to side. I found myself doing this repeatedly. I couldn’t explain to anyone what had happened as I didn’t have any knowledge then about narcs. I was just living with a tangled mess inside of ‘memories’, happenings that didn’t make sense. Eventually I realised that the head shaking was ‘disbelief’. Yes how could someone do those things intentionally to harm someone that they are supposed to love? Yes indeed ….It was spine chilling. 🌸
@@lysaholly Thank you. You too.🙏❤
The worst I've experienced. Pure demonic treatment.
After my discard in january, I started therapy, journaling, and watching your channel, Andrew. I never would have understood what I had been through and what NPD was, without this support. I will say, this was the most difficult period of my life, and I felt I wouldn't get through it, many times. To anyone that is watching Andrew's video that is feeling this way, please believe that you will get through it! You will reach the Pinnacle of indifference if you follow everything Andrew teaches you. Thank you Andrew, and all of your followers for helping me to realize I am truly not alone.❤
Welcome 💯😌🙏🙌💪
You're absolutely right gailyhanna, you're not alone! This highly educated female coworker pounced on my vulnerability, knowing I lost my Mom, Dad, and our neighbors of 30 years all within 5 hours, 9 days before Christmas. She would act as if she had a romantic interest in me for months, showering me with kindness and displaying signs of attraction towards me. Luckily for me, I never took the bait because I never felt a romantic vibe for her. Then came the discard phase where she told lies, used manipulation tactics, deflected, and ran a smear campaign on me just to mention a few. These videos are helping me heal from the acts of narcacisim brought on by a highly educated narcissist. Their raw and their real and I want to wish you the very best through your healing process.
Mine came across a narc video completely by chance on his own. He said he could see things that were similar to him like how he rushed the relationship along (we were engaged after 6 weeks). We were together for 5 yrs thankfully we never married he refused to sign a prenup said his love was worth something. I bought my ex-husband out of this house this home was for my children it was their safe place. I have called him out and told him what he is and to keep watching the videos his response was that he would start over with a new slate. That was my discard I have heard from him a few times once even in the middle of the night his drunk call. When I blocked him he reached out to my son guess he hasn't found his new slate yet. Bottoms up is all I have to say to him.
You are a gift to this planet Andrew
I am so grateful that he wants to do this every day!
She discarded me, BUT, I believe that it was only because she realized that she couldn't control me anymore after I walked away from her a few times. All I wanted was to have normal conversation and to find a way to fix everything but not her. Now I have answers to everything and I see everything for what it was. Thank you, sir. 🙏
Run and never go back cut communication completely or you're likely to be suckered in, these people are no joke 💯 cunning crafty lunatics.
There can be no " normal conversation" with the narcissist. They are relentless in their pursuit of the " prime aims" that is to suck you dry of narcissistic supply ( their main fuel), and to control your mind and emotions. Don`t underestimate the narcissists will to power. And will to destruction of their victim ( us/you). Your empathic trait of wanting to " fix" the relationship, is what the narcissist is counting on. But this is a fantasy in your mind. There is nothing to fix. That is if one person is trying to destroy the other persons mind. Then it is not the relationship that is the problem. But the narcissists insanity, hatred, sadism.
Stay safe!. That is go " No contact". And stay out!
Same with me.....He told me right before our last argument; "you are acting different." It is because I started to detach and was not buying his bull shit anymore, then his mask slipped and I have not spoken to him since. Been 2 weeks only however, I feel very depressed but not as much as being with him.
When they know, you've figured it out it's high Alert and definitely time to leave. You never know how they react.
Your knowledge will be the turning point in your life.
In my case he was happy that I left, the new supply was already in the pipeline.
Thank you Andrew, I agree with you on everything you said.
My peace is worth on all I had to go through.
Take care! 😊🦋
Welcome 🙏💯🙌😌
Its true that you can not really know how they will react. It depends on where they are in their cycle when they find out you know.
Thank God you are OK now!❤
That's something they can't have. Peacefulness is extremely important. This is why they are the way they are.
So happend to me . I saw it I called it out new supply (an ex) was in pipeline! He was in lovebomb Phase with me again while he was texting old supply. He was happy to move out ! He can’t do the shared phantasy again and he knew this ! He is now the victim poor boy ..nothing did work anymore what he tried to do to me ! 🎉
NOW I AM A DIAMOND NO BODY CAN MANIPULATE ME ANYMORE AND I CALL THEM OUT RESPECTFULY.
TIME IS OVER ❤
Thank you, you are not my only teacher but you are a great one ❤
It's when you know 'what they are'
The ex told me not a narcissist, but more of a sociopath. Wheew what a relief.
😮
Truly, if it wasn't for the the final blow; I would not have had the time alone....to discover exactly who they were...
And to find myself again!!! So in a way.... I am thankful for that. Not at that time; but looking back; now, only looking forward...AMEN!❤❤❤
Two words you'll never hear from a Narc is: "I'm Sorry". You are right, it is so true.
If you do hear "I'm Sorry" it's not real at all. Its to dodge accountability, I know this first hand the amount of times my ex narc wife would say this would be equivalent to the amount of times someone says the word "like" !!
When I finally had evidence of the lies she had been telling me and provided it to her, she immediately deleted me from social media and went dark. I subsequently blocked her. I have accept the woman I thought I loved was not who I thought she was. It's painful
My "X" didn't just leave, when I asked her what #BPD was (she claimed to have that just before moving out).
No -- she broke things, hit me with stuff, called me racial names...damaged the house. Stole my dog. Stole other things of mine...and is trying to sue me for MORE money from our home's (eventual) sale. She's like...the Devil's little sister or something. She's literally trying to 'wreck me' if she can. And I've honored & respected her, as others 'ditched' her over the years...but that's meant nothing, in the end.
I love the forest you are visiting.
🌲☀️🙌❤️
Andrew today was a great day I went bowling today and my girlfriend had a surprise for me it was a sweetest day card it said I love you for who you are we shared a cheese bread together it was the best ever
🥰
Aww that's lovely
You brightened my evening with this post. My heart is smiling 😊
Oh Steve..that's awesome!!!
🎀😘
That's great to hear, Steve
Who’s loving & supportive?
Who has my back?
Who is there when I need them?
Who’s WORDS can I rely upon?
Check-mate! ✅
Off u go.
Fly baby fly!
I win‼️
😌😌🙏
Cue the sound of police sirens. LOL.
👀🧐😊
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone I'm joining the defund movement. No shit, brother.
Nex spent innumerable hours talking about his life, his family, always acting like His life was the only one that mattered. He ignored when I told him I lived also prior to his arrival. Thank God it is over, no contact. Thank you Andrew!
Thank you Andrew. I got discarded by a few narcissist family members recently at the same time after i stood up for myself for the first time. They couldn’t stand that i wouldn’t just accept more self doubt and manipulation .Im processing my feelings knowing it’s for the best . All my resources are depleted . I used to have so much energy and motivation and now i have a hard time trying to get out of bed . Im trying rebuild myself one day at a time
I am having a hard time getting out of bed, too. I feel so tired. I am suffering from panuck attacks. I am completely isolated. The narcissist has moved onto his new victims. I confronted him and told him I knew everything. The friends I thought were my friends turned out to be flying monkeys and were fake as the narcissist. I know I don't want any narcissist in my life.
You are the winner all round. Remember they are so insignificant to you. Enjoy your time out ,you'll come out of it when you're good and ready. 😊❤
@@AS-gf5jn Your so right , thank-you . I miss it a lot , working out helps reduce my anxiety too which i need . Its so hard to take the first step . I’ve gained weight feel self conscious but I need to just start going i’d probably feel a lot better. I need to get back to my healthy routine ! I was a lot happier and healthier. Thank you so much for the advice and kind words.
@@Sweepee-v2v That’s so sweet . Thank you so much. . I need to just take my time and get comfortable w bring me again . I’m getting. there
I can relate to you. Im a widow who lost my only child last year. 2 months ago, lost my brother who was the only sibling of 3 who cared. Some days I don't want to get out of bed either, but I push myself because I know that as bad as things are now, they can go nowhere but up from here. I've seen others go through this and in time their life turned completely around. I feel there is something good just around the corner for me, so I will not give my narc siblings the satisfaction that their wickedness has broken me completely down. I may be down right now, but not out...I know God has something good in place for me soon. Hang in there. When you feel you are at the end of your rope, just tie a knot in it and hang on.
I think I heard the dark heavy chains of the trauma bond shatter when I finally truly understood that the woman I thought I loved (emotional / psychological trick they perform so well) was a malignant narcissist. I told her so naively and the discard came quickly afterwards .. but my life was in danger as I had 1 week to escape and she was an expert in biochemistry working in medical field .. she knows the various chemicals that would leave little trace of their presence in my corpse
Yes Andrew...once they cant use you they are gone.
Once you know what they are, nothing is the same . You are sickened by them but go into to denial ( trauma bonding) but you just get sick.
Your not wrong.just hearing the name makes me sick
I got discarded as well. Packed and moved away within a week. Divorced a week after that…
It now all makes sense….
Thanks to getting wiser 😌
My last experience with a Narcissistic boss, when I knew ,I didn't let them know ,I acted my self out to the closest Exit,!!
Silently left ,that person knew exactly why I left !narcs dont explain their lies & actions ,why should we!
They say the 2 best days with a boat is when you buy it and when you sell it. It feels the same with the narcissist… when you get them (love bombing) and when they are out of your life….
Fake love isn’t what anyone needs.
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When I told him what I kow about him he had a smirk in his face. I left. No hoover.😊
I did call him out several times. He knows I'm a Super Empath. Heyoka Empath. Him a covert narcissist. Andrew, I made it out alive. I'm no contact 90 days. I don't think about him nor do I miss him. I don't care. I don't want to get close to him anymore.
He told me that he's done some things that he's not proud of. I thought wow! Did that just come out of his mouth. But then he turned around and has been an ass. He didn't run even though I called him out.
You are a top notch educator Andrew and I am so grateful that you appeared, seemingly unrelated, in my feed almost 2 years ago. I watched you daily, sometimes several or more episodes at first and you helped me beyond anything I could have asked for.
I was lucky enough to discard the narcissist from my home in early June of 2022 and believe me, if it wasn't my place I would have been gone long before.
I want you to know that you saved me in ways I won't go into here.
I have been living my life again since I went away and unfortunately came down with sepsis pneumonia and was hospitalised for this, just in time, if you get my point.
I'm back home now and on the mend and strangely, being hospitalised helped me to realise that there are people who care, outside of the personal zone. You are one of those life saving people too Andrew and it's wonderful to see you again, pushing us all forward.
Bless you Andrew, over and over.
Namaste ❤🙏🏻💕🕊🌠🌴🌺☮
Hi Elbe,
Thank you for this message of hope!❤
@@emilywilson7308 thank you for the appreciation and you are most welcome Emily xoxo ❤🌺❤ xoxo
Thank you Andrew. He promised me the world....then he dumped me amidst a mountain of lies. He disappeared as though he never existed. Then he returned a month later like nothing happened. Veryodd. I had applied the no contact rule, and it worked. But again, he dumped me a month later, blocking me from everything....for no apparent reason. I see now that he is very unwell, and had dragged out of me all my loving, positive traits, then just dumped me. He never gave me closure....he just kept checking on me on social media. He indeed wanted me kind of stuck and pineing for him, and it seems that made him feel good, ego boost if you like. I feel stronger now in myself, as I took all my beautiful traits back to myself, and my energy is focused on my great job and my friends. Thanks again!
Welcome 💯🙏😌🙌
Glad you're back to yourself and blocked the con. Inner beautiful strength trumps outward beauty any day of the week.💪👍
Good evening Andrew..You really love beautiful things in the great outdoors.The backdrop is always stunning.Thank you for this video.The narcissist can be broken with education. They're not so clever but extremely selfish,evil,manipulative beings...... altogether very unattractive, weak cowardly people. Thank you so much for opening my mind to the truth.❤🍁🌾🌻
Welcome 😌🙏🌲😊❤️
I think that they don't care what you are doing after the relationship. They just forget you. Even if you live your best life. They don't care. You are on a shelf for hoover maybe. Stay away. That's the best.
You are right. The journey after the discard is long and lonely and rough. It's been 10 months and I was finally able to cut off contact with my ex about two months ago (I would have done it much sooner, but I had to play the game until I could get the rest of my stuff). Now I'm starting a new job and will be able to move into my own place after having spent most of the year living with a family member. Yay for little wins 🎉
This year, my 40th year, has been the worst year of my life. The growing pains are humbling, but I am starting to come out on the other side.
Thank you for these videos. ✌💛🙏
So true, Andrew!! My eyes are now open. I finally had enough of him & kicked him out. I have been no contact for 6 weeks now. It's been so difficult, but I have made it this far. Thank you Andrew for your advice. It keeps me going knowing that I am not alone.
elizabethmercado6766
You are not alone. We are here for you. Keep watching Andrew’s videos. I binge watch them as needed. It is all truth exactly how he states it. The comments from the community are very helpful.
Stay Strong 💪 you did the right thing. It is difficult and painful. You will make it through this.
God’s blessings to you. 🙏🏻for your healing. ✝️🙏🏻🕊️☀️😎🌸🌳🌎❤️
When i finally understood and my narcissist mum realised she went distinctly hostile..
No more pedastool no more treating things like objects we're living breathing human beings
Ty Andrew; I am out!!!❤❤❤ I am blessed!!!
God's Blessings on you all!
You know when you know. Please take care of you. Yes you.
10:10 From experience, and imo, they discard different used people at different points in the abuse cycle so as to create the illusion that those newly recuited are also above (their intended disposed).
It has been a little over 2 months since me and our daughter hot discarded. One day i was the best the next he left an almost 15 year relationship. My kid is 13 and she told me he is a narcissistic and I started looking into what that was. So many explosive interactions while doing fun activities that I started Grey rocking him before I knew what it was because I just didn't want to argue. I was honest and transparent. I loved him and would have done anything for him. It is a sad time for me and my kiddo but I see light. And childhood traumas have been healing when my family and friends rallied around me. I am blessed and lucky that I built friendships without him involved. He never liked that but it was a deal breaker for me. I need relationships outside my main person. Anyway I wish you all well and I an waiting to get my energy back and enjoying life the best I can considering.
True. They know that we know they know we know. 💯
Andrew, it's at the point where I say "Think about that for a minute" out loud when you say it 😂 Love it.
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Plus I can spend 24 hours aday pondering all things.
While they work, while they sleep, while they get drunk, there we are.
In the dark, in the light. Ho ho ho. For xmas a gift of grey rock,
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High five...LUV IT! 👍👍👍
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This is a very humbling video, in the sense of the courage you have to state with conviction, the absolute danger of dealing in any way with Narcissists. I don't think I'd have the emotional strength, not to have a quiver in my voice if I tried to explain it to one person. Wishing you the soundest sleep you've had post Narc involvement, remembering at the end of the day, you've helped and enlightened thousands!👍👐👁
Look after you health. Just as you adopted a no contact policy with the narc , adopt a no bad intake of anything be it alcohol or drugs or bad food. Work out every single day. Have only one cup of coffee. Then at night sleep like an angel . I have bee doing this now for many years. I’m 72 but I feel 27. For real.
Good night brothers and sisters.
I absolutely love your content. I can think a certain way about my ex, then doubt myself. Lo and behold, you literally bring it up and confirm what I had already been thinking. That tells me to follow my intuition and not doubt myself. Thank you, Andrew. Have a great day.
A covert narcissist is a Butterfly-Spider. They pretend to be a beautiful/fragile victim -until the web is woven ~and by then; it's too late. #LeaveSmart 🛫🛬 Thank you Andrew -for all that you do. ✌
Butterfly-Spider. That's so well said.
Yes. Good description. Before knowing about narcs and toxic relationships I felt like I was trapped in a web. I was so deeply entangled I almost couldn’t function as a human being. Stayed far too long. Eventually I abseiled out of it and escaped. 🌸
Thanks again for another great video Andrew! We got this fellow empaths/HSP's! 💜🙏💜
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The beautiful Carolinas sure are beautiful ❤️
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My ex narcissist wife 6 month since I lerft the marriage and now in the middle of a divorce. Still trying to hoover. Her new supply is elderly and is on his last leg of life. She already swindled a nice car out of him. I feel sorry for any person that needs her kind of help. Crazy how the narcissist will take advantage of people that are ill or dying Thank you Andrew for sharing your wisdom.
Welcome 💯💯🙏☀️
They won't give you closure is a power tool to know!!!
Drink this up now!!❤❤❤
I was always defending myself from attacks it was so hard to be in that state of mind that I become angry and said what I usually wouldnt say ,that energy it was horror it was oposite i was called first that I am a narcissist ,crazy sick person so much insults not just verbal and much more.Thank you Andrew for hope and path you give me ,i was so lost so tired no voice inside
Welcome 😌🙏🙌💯
Much love and understanding sent 👉🌟👉💖💖💖👉🙏🙏
💔❤️🩹❤️
If me serving him with divorce papers and going through with it didn't make it know to the narcissist that I know who he really is, I'm sure the fact that he has been blocked drove the point home.
Truly amazing how one can be surrounded by many, and for so long…and didn’t have a clue.
You’re dead on with the sitting with one’s self will bring about awareness!
What a dark, desolate place.
For anyone that learns to love themselves enough to do that “work”,
Congratulations!🎊
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She cost me the equivalent of about $5000 and an awful lot of energy and constraint over five years time but in the end she realized she had gotten a bigger chew than she managed to handle. She knows I have evidence of illegal activities as well as legal but not morally acceptable behavior. She knows I'll never take her back, no matter what. She's also aware that in time our son will se the evidence. Im not in a hurry. My time will come.
The narcs aren't invincible. Dont forget that. It costs energy but in the end it's cheaper than staying in the relationship.
Thank you for sharing 😌💯🙏🙌
When a narcissist threatens to make you homeless if you speak the truth they know you know.
Thanks Andrew ,so much knowledge which hurts so bad but I had to let them go today forever since they caused damage to my property. I couldn’t believe it but with all the knowledge,I didn’t except the hoover and they will be out of my life forever 🙏🥺
You can do it!💪🏻🌸💗
Thank you Andrew. Needed this today.
You have described what has happened to me in my life. Everything you say is exactly true. We are all headed in the same direction. Towards the Light, Love, Joy, Peace. God bless you Andrew❤
My daughter sent me a a recent emoji of her. It even looked evil! She looks mad
Being w/them changed who we had to become.❣️
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I so agree & resonate with everything you are saying in this video. Great video with so much insight. Almost 2 years after the discard (& no contact from him) the narcissist made a hoover attempt. He made no acknowledgement at all of what he had done. I calmly & honestly told him the state he had left me in with the discard, how it felt (etc). He said he didn't like how what I was saying made him feel. He also said "I thought this would be easier ". I didn't have much wisdom at that time on narcissism. I praise God that I was able to discern who he was & what he was doing. I didn't accept the hoover.
The narcissist does a lot of damage. The healing journey is not a short or easy one. But you will come out of it a stronger & wiser person.
Thank you for what you do Andrew. God's blessings to you 🙂☀️☀️.
Hang in there everyone
Ty again Andrew ☺️😄
Heyy!! I lived this. Every word! It was my female friend since my teens. Saaadly enough. I loved her. LOVED. One day she did that thing to me: she gaslighted me. I knew she lied! And had to ask that final question: "why do you lie?" - She raged against me and said a lot of strange things. I did not know this was it. And I would not have ripped her mask off if I had known what was to come. I agree, never do that, never!! I'm still sad really, that we (I) ended our relation that dirty. I would never do it again. That moment I learnt what it was all about. I'm sorry for both of us. Thank you for a fantastic video. /Annie ❤
Welcome 😌🙏🙌💯
Same thing happened to me and I'm still sad and miss my friend. I can't be friends with a person who hurts me.😢
After telling my ex he was a narcissist he tried the smear campaign, sent the flying monkeys and even tried to have the court take away my kid's. He tried all the tricks up his narc sleeve and he was met with opposition. He wasn't sorry 1 bit for the lies, scandal and additional trauma he brought into my life after I left him. He was only embaressed that his tactics didn't work. Eventually people around him started to see his true self. That put a stop to his bully tactics.
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god bless your messages u are confirmation im on the right path
This is absolutely right my family always were takers never reciprocated. I invested love and energy. It was so hard at first because heart broken, couldn’t believe what was going on. These people had no compassion for me. I took care of my parents until they passed. I thought my sister would have compassion and work on our relationship after our parents passed. I was so upset that I no longer have her in my life. If you have a relationship that people don’t value you start removing them. They are unhealthy people that drain your energy.
Thank you for sharing 🙏💯😌🙌
Bless you. I’m am so sorry to hear what you went through. I can totally relate as my story is very similar. I am slowly removing these people from my life too. ❤
Hi Andrew yes i did i got so mad at her and called her a narcissis she went crazy on me but now she knows i know my own kids tell me to leave she call our friends and tell them flat out lies about me tells them i am nuts and getting senile she hates when i play my guitar she screems at me i been playing guitar for 55 years was in a band she loved it back then but now anything i do is wrong i never seen a person so nasty in my life like her but thank you for teaching me what to do its just a long road for me Amen to all of you impath friends
Thank you for sharing 🙏💯😌🙌
What?! By now the guitar is a big part of you.
The last one that invited itself into my life without my permission tried to accuse me and then blew the gig by having a melt down, i calmly told it they were the narc, they are having the hissyfit. Boom! It went nuclear like an adult 2 year old. It was just sad in the end. What did it expect? It arrogantly told me what it would do if I let it into my life and showed me most of it's disgusting behaviour towards others. Id made it clear i didn't hate myself that much to ever let that be an intimate partner but they don't hear what they don't want to. Watch out for this, some will still involve themselves in your life and mess with it no matter how many times you say no.
Thank you for sharing 😌🙏🙌💯
Bravo 👍
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Awake and aware!!! Great 👍 I celebrated the awaykening long times ago now the wrong writing is not wrong any more… this birthday was my awake and I got away from him!!! 😂😂
Thank you. Excellent content. Your work is greatly appreciated.
Welcome 💯🙏😌
Thank you, Andrew.
Divorced my wife after 9 years, she told me at the age of 49 that she didn't want a family, no fostering, no surrogacy, no adoption. Went through a year of mediation agreeing that she would never take what wasn't hers. I put most of my life savings into building a home for a family with a huge investment from my father. When she realised that I was serious about leaving her she cancelled mediation and filed for court. Showing an interest in my family home, pension and everything else that she didn't contribute to. It's been a hard realisation that I married and trusted a Narcissist for all of these years. She says she still loves me but wants to put me and my family through as much pain as possible without any regard for me, my father and my mother who is in ill health. Says she deserves more. No empathy whatsoever. Pure evil !
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After ten years and a son, whose custody I have, I figured her out, and she was gone within a week. That was when the sewer opened up for real. The mess and misery is inimaginable. This creature didn't even want her own son, but I had to fight for him in court, spending fortunes, while she had a state lawyer, because she wasn't interested in him to begin with. The process was another punishment.
Priceless information
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They know. It’s been one awakening after another Andrew, but I find a lot of solace in places much like that scene behind you. And within myself. There are still good people, but a lot of us are extra cautious now as we rebuild with this new foundation (and that seems fair).
So many good points in this message and if it is someone’s first video, it has many nuggets to help them. Wishing you and all a peaceful rest❤🙏
Every word the truth
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Andrew thank you so much for walking me to the pinnacle of indifference and shoving me over the cliff to complete joy and fulfillment and healing!!! You so rock
Welcome 🙏💯😌🙌