Antidepressant induced Toxic encephalopathy and Paradoxical reactions : My own personal experience.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ก.พ. 2025
- Just a brief overview of Toxic Encephalopathy and paradoxical reactions from Antidepressants. I go over my own personal experiences with these conditions and what id do differently to minimise the harm and impact if I could turn back the clock. I believe lived experience equals priceless knowledge, thus offer suggestions for others who may be in the midst of experiencing these life threatening conditions whilst taking psychotropic drugs.
I have tried to cry out loud in hell, that this is happening to millions of people including myself and even also for some in my nearest family. But no one believes that I know these facts. Even though I am about to die of the damage of the drugs (and have been very healthy before both physically and mentally). Gaslighting gaslighting gaslighting. One of the most catastrophic traumas and life threatening conditions both physically and mentally. Thank you for being a voice🙏
I am tired too. 8 years and half and left disabled and gaslighting, etc...
@mitch5222 I am so sorry. I pray for us.
@@user-xg4dk3ch6y thanks. I will pray for you too.
@@user-xg4dk3ch6y I am sorry too. Will pray.
@@user-xg4dk3ch6y how long did u take meds?
I am 4,5 years of and suddenly getting better rapidly. Wanted to share this. It’s been hell. Now heaven is opening up❤
This brings hope ❤
Good to know it happens, eventually
I am glad to hear that, but how did you survive?
What drug were you on and how long?
How long have you been on ??
Immense strength man, you are very knowledgable in this subject. I couldn’t even find the strength to pick up my phone and read the first year. You are doing the impossible, and you bring hope to many. Keep going brother💪💪💪
Hi Cole, great to see you. You're looking great Bro! I started on the liquid venlafaxine the beginning of December currently on 3.25mg. I have just been in a wave at moment had anxiety in the mornings. I feel like lm going through a grieving process about the time I've lost , its tuff man! I try to live in the moment as much as possible and mediation and yoga has helped immensely
.
It really resonated when you say its like being in an acid trip lol😂 its exactly how l feel sometimes. It's like l have been in a coma for last 20 years and just woke up!
The good thing is we can recover from this . Its just rhe isolation and the lack of understanding and help from the medical establishment that's frustrating.
Anyways mate please keep making these videos because you have a great way of getting the message across. Its really helped me just hearing your experience!
And thanks for the advice about te liquid venlafaxine before.
Happy to help bro. These drugs have taken everything from me, so I will commit to dedicating myself to continue making videos and raising awareness in any way I can. Look after yourself and take care my friend. 😊🙏
@@livingunderachemicalinflue5849 I don't have words to describe what BENZODIAZEPINES DID to me. Shocking and APPALLING come to mind. Just keep going.
@@livingunderachemicalinflue5849
Thank you so much for being a voice ❤
@@nickc.5783you’re more than welcome. ❤😊
Hi Cole, thank you for these videos. I can see you are healing. You are becoming faster and faster with thought and speaking. Congrats. Keep it up!
Have been dealing with the exact same thing with finasteride, I’m currently 2.5 years out and although I’m far away from baseline I’ve made a lot of progress neurologically and physically..keep going we’ll get out of this hell one day
Always thankful for your videos. Hope you've been feeling improvement lately🙏
I cried and shook as I stood hanging from my dresser this morning. There was this slow building guttural roar. “I can’t do this anymore.”.
I have paced 24/7 for over 4 years and have suffered inner akathisia for even longer. I was last injured stopping a benzodiazepine (klonopin). I even tapered for a year but quick tapered the last 0.75mg/day and my world has not been the same. May 2020. Deep Covid. Most of my worst symptoms erupted tardive 3-4 months after stopping. I nearly died every day the first 2 years.
I’ve improved cognitively pretty steadily but physically I’ve worsen. Especially my legs, my back, the dystonia etc. My laryngeal dystonia improved. The stuff in my face improved but I still have major jaw tension and my teeth will still feel on fire.
Are getting better?
Im so severe i cant function at all. Cant take photos or look in mirrors or make videos. Brains absolutely ruined. Ive done everything to heal
These drugs will get exposed for the suffering they can cause. Im not symptom free by a long shot, but some hope is that I can walk and talk now even though I have chronic fatigue and anhedonia still. It took me a year and a half to get to this point. Wishing you lots of wellness, you’re not alone
It’s taken me 8 years to get to this position. Never give up, where there is a will there is a way.
Did Keto help?
Thank you for this,
all the best ❤🔥!
I wonder if you've gone through brain scans or other neurological assessments and what the medical establishment thinks of your results. Im really trying to get to the root of what is fundamentalky causing what symptoms but it seems medicine may not be there to understand it yet
The scans never show anything
Not yet, EEG scan might show electrical, chemical damage. So far my GP has been good and he’s believed my injury. I often have to educate him about these drugs as his knowledge is very limited.
Keto?
@@lovely-shrubbery8578 THEY ALL KNOW
IT'S THE GABA RECEPTORS .
Hi, I am 17 months off benzos after one and a half years of use, but still having frightening mental and some physical symptoms. You have mentioned that it can be irreversible brain damage by using these toxic so called medicines. I am really scared that I will ever be able to heal. Sometimes mental symptoms like disconnection from the surroundings and completely not feeling anything is so scary and frustrating. I feel like I'm trapped in a prison or cage and trying hard to come out from this darkness of fear. It's like living a fake life. Did you ever experience anything like this? Will it go away with time?
@@Radhey2223 I’ve been living like this on and off since 2017, going into my eighth year now.
It can be irreversible depending on the level of drug toxicity, acute, chronic, length of exposure, and level of neurological damage, harm.
But I always believe there can be improvements even if they are small.
Fortunately for yourself, you have been on these drugs short term, and as time goes on you will continue to see improvements. Hang on in there, you will continue to see improvements and they can be quite significant in short spaces of time, especially with benzodiazepines.
I’ve been on these drugs for 17 years, so I’ve to terms with my fate, and my recovery journey will be a long one.
Take care and don’t give up on yourself.
@livingunderachemicalinflue5849 thanks for replying. As you mentioned that you are experiencing these symptoms on and off since 2017 , so are you off all the meds since then? Or you were tapering ? How long are you off now? As I know that we start healing after we are off all these toxins. For me I was in severe withdrawal during my tapering ( I did for 5 months) and initially also xanax never helped me ( prescribed for sleep) now it has been 17 months , but I can't say that I feel normal in any way it's like mental struggle, sometimes I feel like going out of mind.
When I relate to you and find you so hopeful, I don't feel alone. We will keep going, and will eventually heal one day 🙏
@ I made a cold turkey attempt in 2017 after 12 years on, and went into protracted withdrawal injury. I reinstated after 9 months, then took for another year before tapering off. Overall 3 attempts in total. I’ve been off for 26 months now. Keep going man, time is the greatest healer here. Just set yourself little targets and taking on one day at a time. As time goes on you’ll see subtle improvements, which encourages you to keep pressing and moving forward. You’ll get there. 👍💪
@@livingunderachemicalinflue5849 Thanks you are always helpful and encouraging. 🙏
I was in lexapo for 9 months. Started to taper 25 percent monthly from month 6. At month 9 I stopped at 2.5 mg (initial dosage 10mg). I quickly got withdrawals. 2 months later my doc put me on Prozac. I couldnt tolerate the drug and stopped after 1 month. I've been almost 4 months off. How long do you think I might take to heal? Is one year a long exposure to these drugs? Does longer exposure usually mean longer recovery?
@@marcinjarmula2211 you’re fortunate to only be exposed to these drugs for a short period of time. It’s hard to say, but I feel within the next year you will have huge improvements in recovery.
From my own personal experience of being on these drugs for 17 years, the longer the exposure and higher the drug dosage, it’s very likely that the recovery time will be longer and more complicated.
@@livingunderachemicalinflue5849 Do you/did you get nerve pains from stopping the SRRI - like face, neck, fingers, forehead plus constant feeling of electricity in the body and internal vibrations?
Even taking ibuprofen, 1 tablet,makes it severely worse, if that's even possible.
Ever since I stopped Citalopram at the beginning of 2024, I have felt like my brain is physically sick and inflamed. It’s been a year now and it hasn’t shown any signs of improvement. I have to assume at this point that it is permanent.
You have to give it more time. A year is not long.
Same shit my brain destroyed by Lexapro
How long were you on the drug?
@@minepolz320what exactly do you mean?
@
I started I think late 2019, and began to taper off at the end of 2023. I was tapering onto sertraline when I first started having these symptoms. The taper didn’t go well because I ran out of the drugs and was forced to quit both cold turkey about halfway through the taper because I ran out and wasn’t able to get a refill from my doctor. I think that’s what did it.
Thank you, so you wish you tapered faster, even if you have severe akathisia?
In fact, you should taper slow unless you have akathisia cause it is usually caused by the drug and you need to get rid of it fast to stop it.
@@stevie_89 with the level of drug toxicity I was experiencing, absolutely 💯. I had severe akathisia the whole way through on my third and final taper, and as soon as I managed to get off the offending drug Effexor, it died down and faded completely over a few months. Unfortunately I made a cold turkey attempt on my first try to get off, and then a late reinstatement. I was already severely kindled.
@@livingunderachemicalinflue5849 According to Benzodiazepine Information Coalition: "Kindling, in layman’s terms, is as if the nervous system has a memory of the past withdrawal(s). This memory of prior withdrawal(s) and/or damage still remains imprinted within the nervous system and subsequent withdrawals and/or damage are worse because the nervous system recalls that it has been sensitized/damaged in prior withdrawal(s)."
Hey mate, thanks for the video, if it’s OK to ask, what were the symptoms you had when you kindled? Did you get any neurological symptoms or any weird sensory symptoms? Thank you.
I kindled myself, it put me in the psych ward for 3 months.
@@matticussilverman6179 no problem mate. I attempted a cold turkey of off Effexor after 12 years of straight use. I experienced everything you could possibly name. I experienced a protracted withdrawal injury back then in 2017. Mania, hallucinations, tinnitus, psychosis, akathisia, looping thoughts over and over, tremors, inability to walk straight. Not sure how I survived that and then went through a lot worse than that on my third attempt that lasted 3.5 years. Never been to psych ward before, just battled my way through it over many years. Hope you’re going well now.
You need to make interview for Moral medicine chanel, someday im also planning to do so, but problem what English language is not my native and im pretty bad at speaking
Will do one day bro. 😎
How’s the dpdr, akathisia, anxiety/adrenaline rushes, and tremor for you these days?
DPDR is still pretty bad at this point, feels like I’m on an acid trip most days. It’s unreal. Akathisia has died down to almost being non existent now, I’m so grateful for that. Unfortunately I still have tremors in my sternum area, I’ve had them since 2016, so I assume it’s permanent. I learn to live with these symptoms. I hope you’re going ok. 👌
Are you talking about THE BRAIN DAMAGE?
@@incognito595 yes, toxic encephalopathy is neurological injury, dysfunction.
At w hat percentage are you`=
Of recovery?
@ Yes, if you can measure it
@ about 15 to 20 % healed. Many years of healing and recovery ❤️🩹 to go.
Hello what do you mean? That you were faster? But the weaning would have been intense no?
What I’m trying to say is if you’re experiencing toxic encephalopathy, high levels of drug toxicity or adverse reactions, you should look to taper a little bit faster if possible to minimise LONG term harm.
If you have experienced kindling to your central nervous system from previous attempts to come off and then reinstatement, you will most likely be sensitive to these drugs and they have the ability to turn on you and cause more harm. I experienced this first hand.
In my experience on my third attempt to come off, if I did it faster it may have been more intense, but the level of neurological harm would be nowhere where it is today. That’s my biggest regret, but I have learned from it to help others to not make the same mistakes.
@@livingunderachemicalinflue5849 In fact your story looks like mine but I have a few questions: did you manage to get medical images showing your encephalopathy? Because I've done a bunch of exams and they don't see anything. Yet the side effects became quite serious and the past year a psychiatrist had me stop in 1 month 150 mg after 13 years. I had to look for myself why it worked for 10 years and then lots of side effects appeared: brain zap constantly tremors, involuntary movements. I asked for a plasma test and I finally realized that I was not metabolizing venlafaxine to ODV. When I stopped, after five months, I was thrown into hell. I had to reintegrate and I'm gradually decreasing. I'm at 44 mg. And in fact your video made me hesitate: I thought I'd cut it over 2 or 3 years or cut it even faster. I don't understand anything: you have diminished for so long that logically you should have been cured by coming to zero and yet you are still suffering. What are your symptoms? How did you know it was an encephalopathy?
@@livingunderachemicalinflue5849In fact your story looks like mine but I have a few questions: did you manage to get medical images showing your encephalopathy? Because I've done a bunch of exams and they don't see anything. Yet the side effects became quite serious and the past year a psychiatrist had me stop in 1 month 150 mg after 13 years. I had to look for myself why it worked for 10 years and then lots of side effects appeared: brain zap constantly tremors, involuntary movements. I asked for a plasma test and I finally realized that I was not metabolizing venlafaxine to ODV. When I stopped, after five months, I was thrown into hell. I had to reintegrate and I'm gradually decreasing. I'm at 44 mg. And in fact your video made me hesitate: I thought I'd cut it over 2 or 3 years or cut it even faster. I don't understand anything: you have diminished for so long that logically you should have been cured by coming to zero and yet you are still suffering. What are your symptoms? How did you know it was an encephalopathy?
Thank you for coming back. You look healthier 🤍 It doesn't take long for these drugs to harm. 2 months of poly-drugging and CT and pushing through my 17 month. I do believe everyone heals. 🤍