@@jacobdowler1135 The answer is in your question. The rest of us aren't watching this for a school requirement. We're watching it because we're genuinely learning how to write a book.
1. Cut dialogue to the bone. 2. Use dialogue to reveal backstory. 3. Use dialogue to reveal character. 4. Be subtle. (subtext, sidestepping, silence) 5. Read your dialogue aloud. 6. Create a 'Make My Day' moment.
Dude, you are a godsend. It's rare that someone with this kind of experience puts up this kind of content, for free, and a platform like TH-cam. Usually, it's some sponsored website requiring a membership or monthly fee or something. Mr Jenkins, I want you to know that this stuff _is_ amazing and helpful and beyond appreciated. It is exactly what people like me have been looking for. Please, please, _please,_ keep uploading and sharing as much knowledge as possible.
"If you can avoid this pitfall you'll instantly have a leg up on your competition" Provided you're competing with non-produced writers.. Conveniently left out that little diddy.
yes repartee between the nemsis is quiet compelling done well. The problem is were in a very immediate gratification society so we are forced to keep it punchy
Yeah it is. I had to sort through 100 channels of 20-something women saying the same drek over and over to find this channel and actual useful info. The scary part if some of those vapid people are agents. Guess self-publishing it is.
People who sit down and make videos like this are genuinely creating the next great generation of authors. Thank you for sharing your insight on this topic.
6 keys to writing riveting dialogue 🙂 1.Cut writing to bones-Get to the good stuff 2.Use it to reveal backstory but don’t info dump (have the characters reveal a little bit at a time) 3.Use dialogue to reveal character (show not tell) 4. Be subtle A) use subtext B) use sidestepping C) use Silence 5) Read your dialogue aloud 6) create ‘Make My Day’ moment How to format Use he said or she said - don’t use creative way to say it don’t wheeze snort or grunt replied retorted declared are not needed Don’t have characters use each other’s name Too much Don’t put said in the beginning of sentence Resist urge to explain Cardinal sin of dialogue- Avoid on the nose dialogue Don’t use prose that mirrors real life
@@modani9484Bit late, but the part of not using prose that mirrors life isn't a clear cut advice as it might seem. They are saying to cut things in dialogue like “Uhms, and Uhs”, but there are caveats to this way with showing and telling. Pauses during dialogue are necessary, and one masterful way to 'show don't tell' is learning the “sound” of it and how you can control pauses and what information is dispersed through punctuation and clever usage of clauses(sections of a sentence). For example, ellipses(…) and em dashes(-) when read do totally different things to the volume of the words being spoken(this applies to narrative, too). Em dashes cut out stuff abruptly, usually at the same or higher volume(exclamation marks do that well) and ellipses 'trail off' or quiet out its words in-between.
As well as info dumps at the beginning, I sometimes see villains infodumping at the end, as if someone in real life would reveal their whole plan to someone they're opposed to XD It's a stupid move and it ruins villains! Villains should be intelligent, and being cocky isn't smart.
Actually, I have friends in real life who take on the "villain" role, either in games or when they have emotional tantrums after something has upset them, and they do a total infodump. It's so refreshing. I much prefer that to the piecemeal setup of getting people to feel open enough around me to share what is really going on with them. Spending years teasing apart the layers of the psyche of those who like to keep their walls up was an alluring endeavor filled with mystery, but in hindsight, there were much more enjoyable ways of passing the time. The infodumpers do have their fair share of intelligent and sophisticated moments too.
@@Th3BigBoy For sure, it probably made it into literature because someone observed "villains" not being able to stay silent about their plans. It's hard for them to keep their excitement in their pants, lol. 🤣
“Dialogue tags such as, reply, exclaim, retort, remark are archaic and over done” Hmmm interesting *proceeds to change out roughly 75% of all my dialogue tags
If you use "said" so much that you need synonyms, it's a sign that you don't write very natural dialogue. Notice in this video, how little he uses indications of speaking.
@@edenarchive4150 not really. 'Said' is skipped over by the brain, that's the entire point. Bringing attention to a dialogue tag is probably the opposite of what you want to do, as it messes up with the pacing of the story. Sometimes removing dialogue tags period is the more prudent option anyways. Imagine every other sentence you have this: "Stop!" Janelle exclaimed. "I've got to go to the store, what do you want?" James bellowed "Well, I was about to say you forgot your keys but nevermind then!" she retorted Ugh, what an eye sore. My brain is just constantly stopping and starting at the dialogue tags, very clunky.
I'm an aspiring writer. It's my first time writing my own story and writing my characters' dialogue is my biggest problem !!!! Thank you so much !!!! 😭😭😭
Okay, I just now found this guy's channel and I'm already amazed. No lame gimmicks, no flashy nonsense. Just the guy sharing his expertise for free. As an aspiring writer, you have my gratitude Mr. Jenkins.
@@bluefox7678 Oh, I haven't been able to touch it. We are renovating our house while living in it. I have also barely gotten to all my hobbies and interests. I have not forgotten and will refer to these videos and update when I have found the time. Thank you for your interest!
I needed some of your reminders. As a published author I do a lot without thought. These six highlights are spot on. Writers can often get lost in the story arc thought process and slip up some of the important elements of great dialogue. Thanks for the refresher course, Jerry Jenkins.
Just leaving this here for myself and others. 1:58 Key 1 Cut dialogue to the bone 3:01 Key 2 Use dialogue to reveal backstory 5:06 Key 3 Use dialogue to reveal character 6:17 Key 4 Be subtle 6:33 Key 4 Be subtle(Subtext) 7:29 Key 4 Be subtle(Sidestepping) 9:13 Key 4 Be subtle(Silence) 10:19 Key 5 Read your dialogue aloud 11:26 Key 6 Create a ‘make my day’ moment 12:12 Miscellaneous problems
The silence thing is soo true. I always find myself writing "he didn,t say anything",or "he didn,t respond." Maybe "he simply stared at her" is better?
I let the characters respond in "..." sometimes when I can't figure out what else to do. I think "He stared at her" can be enough. For me personally that can be a response depending on how she stared like "He gazed at her with narrowed eyes.". It depends what you want to express with your writing. Does the character care what is spoken? Is he confused? Is he surprised? Something I would like as a reader go grasp.
Same! In editing my novel, I've been removing so many of those "he didn't reply, she didn't look, they didn't hear anything" type of things. Describe what is, not what isn't.
Work on the ideas, not on what is formally considered dialogue. Forget "formal dialogue" entirely. "You intend to be late!" His jaw dropped to one side in disgust. Normally he would have smacked the stupidity out of her, but he no longer belived in such methods.
@@arhamsaa I think it's meant to be that sort-of 'sharp intake of breath' (where you open your mouth slightly to take a quick in-breath) jaw drop, not an exaggerated 'O' of shock/horror where the mouth is wide open; the 'to one side' suggests to me that there's a bit of a grimace (the disgust element) to the expression. The disgust is in response to an accusation that there is an 'intent' to be late, it's not disgust over being late in and of itself.
Put yourself in the situation, say the words out loud. If it feels like something someone would say, put it down. If not, alter it. Remember that character's aren't talking to the audience, they're speaking to each other, and often the most dire, important things are left unsaid. Change words according to your character's accent, and bingo, bango, bongo!
Touching on the make my day part of the video I realized just how memorable many of Bungie Halo's dialogue are. -"Oh I know what the ladies like" -"To give the covenant back their bomb" -"Shipmaster they outnumber us 3 - 1!", "then it is an even fight." -"Listen, Reach has been good to me. Time has come to return the favor. Don't deny me this" and lastly my personal favorite: -"We can get past it sir!" "No you can't, not without help" "Commander you don't have the firepower!" "I've got the mass" "..Solid copy, hit em hard boss" "You're on your own Noble, Carter out"
I've never written anything before, and I've only had a fleeting interest in writing anything. I've looked up a few tips on writing and what pitfalls to avoid, and I have to say that your videos are a cut above everything else. You have very high quality videos, and your explanations are really easy to follow.
Thank you Sir. I can't believe I was already doing some of this unconsciously. It's a relief to know that I'm on the right track. Looking forward to learning more from you.
13:50 "I once wrote an entire novel, _The Last Operative,_ without attributing a single line of dialogue." I bought the Kindle edition after watching this video a few months ago. The book was excellent, as I expected, and not once was I lost in dialogue. I learned much from reading that book, gaining insights on how to attribute dialogue without _attributing_ dialogue. Today, I came back for a refresher. There is more sound advice in this short video than in some entire books on dialogue.
As an educator I always tell my students to write with clarity. Your videos are always clear and your tone is calming which allows your listeners to learn these most helpful skills. Thank you!
Oh dear Jerry Sir. Where were you these days? I published a short story in Tamil language only with the help of your tips. Thank you so much. A lot love from India❤️😍🥰😘
"Hey, Boo." Comes to mind as a small, quotable phrase that said it all. Allllll the book lead up to that moment when she saw her mystery man. All she said was that little line. I loved that.
Spot on. I see it all the time. TMI. I call it stage directions. It where dialog directs characters from an external viewpoint rather than from the character's viewpoint.
"Uh...wow," typed J upon his phone keyboard appreciatively. Yet, deep down J knew that he hadn't fully aborbed what the guy with glasses had spoken to J. J knew that he would probably continue to write sub-par dialogue and narrative for the stories he penned. Then, almost automatically, J moved the picture of the video to the bottom of his screen and used his thumb the scroll through other writing advice videos, that J would continue to ignore.
A friend of mine sent this to me over discord. Thankfully, I've already applied a good chunk of these into the way I write. But there's always room for improvement.
Needed this SO badly. I was quite foggy on the rules of writing good dialogue, but after watching this I feel much more confident in myself to create it well.
Becoming Jane has good dialogue too when the women are discussing the potential of becoming writers in an age of thinking where women did not do anything outside of the home if they were married.
I’m reminded of an old quote: “When the student is ready the teacher will appear.” It’s the way this video just popped up on my YT Home Screen. I know algorithms are involved but still - the timing was uncanny. I’ve been writing as a hobby with no real organization or formal structure. I had recently decided to get more serious about it; so when this video showed up I was immediately drawn in. When Mr. Jenkins gave an example mentioning the City of Cincinnati , I almost jumped up to look for hidden cameras as if the video might be an elaborate prank. Three guesses what City I call home! I looked up Mr. Jenkins’ basic biography. He wasn’t born in Cincinnati. I see no obvious connection so I’m not sure why he chose my City for his example…but it felt like a sign that I am supposed to pursue this using the guidance and information he’s providing here and in others of his videos. I have found the videos of his that I’ve watched so far will be wonderful resources. I’m really getting excited about writing with a different goal than before. I know it will be worthwhile to develop my craft. Thank you so much for putting me on the path!
I heard someone give advice once which helped me a lot. You know when you have an argument with someone, and after the fact you think of everything you should have said? That revised dialogue that you wish you said, is the speech that you want your characters to speak in.
So, I listened to your lesson on dialog, and see where I need to really tighten mine up in my current project. Thank you for your tutorial. The day after watching it, my husband and I had a conversation, and it really hit me that it was following your tutorial. We referenced the past, but didn't go into detail because we already knew it collectively. Just like the example you gave where the woman didn't want to talk about the accident, "Let's just not talk about it..." etc. Wow, thank you, Mr. Jenkins!
I m writing comics. And I have been working on my dialogue for some time, cuz I know that it's my weakness. Thank you for sharing this. You earned a like and subscribe
@Matthew Jones yup you're totaly right. But there is thing that only 30 or so % of informatio people tell by words. I olso try to use face expresions and body languge as much as posible well in the end they are part of art style. I olso try to avoid puting too much text cuz it's easy to get tired from that. I can draw well and I can expres different kind of information, I can format and plan the story but it's difficult to write a good dialogue. In my story there is not much action but lots of conflic.
You can only imagine how helpful this is you cannot understand completely or rather let me say I cannot completely explain how grateful I am thanks so much for blessing us with your knowledge.
He's teaching us without breaking eye contact. I think I didn't blink the whole time. And I didn't even notice that it is raining outside. Gonna watch this all over again.
This guy is a great writing coach. His hints remind me of a book we had over 40 years ago in English class, The Lively Art Of Writing by Lucile Vaughn Payne. I still refer to it and it’s still in print.
Words aren't enough to express my gratitude to you, Mr. Jenkins. It really is an honor to learn from an experienced and successful author such as yourself. Regardless of how good the plot may be, dialogue has always troubled me. But your words of wisdom have undeniably helped me. Thank you, sir. ❤
If you want to understand dialogue, you can do worse than study the best screen-writers. And something they often use which you can add to the Jerry's seven keys is the cut away. The best screen writers often cut away from a scene before the end, leaving the remainder to the imagination. And imagination is often much more powerful than anything you could write explicitly.
I have a really good story that I’ve been pondering and jotting notes for a couple years. But I’m not a writer. However, since this story has stuck with me so long, I now feel obligated to write it. Consuming videos like this is my sheepish attempt at doing it justice.
Don't give it up! Sometimes, people choose to write stories and the stories come to them. At other times, the stories choose to be written and choose one person to write them. I hope you've made progress. If you publish, come back and post it. I'll buy it!
You just flipped everything I thought I knew upside down and I'm not sure how to feel. I've always thought of myself as being a very good descriptive writer. Setting the scene, including the details that really make them feel like they are there. Like you said, it's what I was taught. I'm stating to take writing seriously as everyone tells me over and over that I need to be writer. I came across this actually looking for proper punctuation in dialog as it's been many years since I've really used it much. I'm kinda sad that one of my perceived strengths is now a liability. Seems like the books I loved when I was younger were very descriptive. Even though I read Fantasy novels of all sorts, not best sellers. I thank you for your insight and influence. I hope I can adapt and grow from it.
This strikes a chord with me too. Describing real life…I felt good about my minutiae. Now my eyes have been opened. Never thought about how writing styles evolve and trend in and out like clothes. It’s fortunate that we’ve been enlightened on this topic. I’m leaning towards getting serious about writing too. I want to watch more of these videos for guidance throughout my process. I’m excited to look at the prospect with different eyes now. Good luck to you.
By far the best thing about Jerry's video is he explains the tip, then shows a poor example and then a polished example using his tip. Seeing the difference is a huge help!. Thank You Jerry
This video is so good. This guy truly knows what he's talking about and was able to convey it so precisely without any lack of understanding from the viewer.
Hi, Jerry - I just want to say how much I appreciate you and your willingness to instruct, teach and share what you know about writing. It is so helpful and I appreciate the lack of 'language' in your videos. You're able to get the message across without the profanity. Thank you, Sir! :)
."Dig deep...mine your emotions in your mind , in your heart and in your soul...take the reader with you." I get it. it's like I learned in theater. When learning script,, we are told get get in touch with the character, allow the words on the page permeate you and allow the emotions of the words come through Being a good writer requires you to feel the words, as you said, mine your emotions. Thanks you Jerry - this was an a-ha moment.
I love how the section about avoiding alternative dialogue tags is immediately followed with an example rewrite of a scene where the character "whispered" something instead of "said" it.
I was told that good dialogue are words used as tools by a character to achieve an un-stated goal. True sub-text comes from what the character's ulterior motive is behind the words.
this is by far the best video i’ve seen on here about writing. so many ppl make youtube channels and repeat the same points and u can tell they don’t even know what they’re talking about. its usually young ppl who could take another 10 to 20 years cutting their teethe before they try to start teaching ppl… it’s refreshing to see someone actually giving good examples. thank u jerry.
Jerry, this is awesome advice. Dialogue is my pet peeve, can't get a handle on it. I'm hoping that I can put this into practice and better execute dialogue in my writing. Thanks, man!
Glad to see people who know the value of this information commenting. I may not appreciate as much but I believe am going to become good at writing if I keep trying to know those thing I don't know yet about the business
This is a solid point. We all know what a phone call sounds like, whereas i just want to know what the call was about...such an innocent mistake, but I've seen it as well and we don't need a play by play on something we are undoubtedly familiar with.
Excellent video! I struggle a lot, especially being someone with autism, to hit that balance between believable dialogue and book dialogue, so i'm also a little happy that some of these tips already align, means i must be doing at least something right. I found the reminder that dialogue isn't supposed to be actual dialogue, but a representation of actual dialogue, especially useful to how to approach finding that balance. :D
This is art,,,only keeping acquires by practice. Teaching bicycle in book. Does not make rider. Similarly, Author has given golden guidence. Those who implement to them ll be benifited.
Thank you Jerry. I've learned so much with your lessons. English is my second language, but I cannot imagine not writing in that language as I did 90 % of my education here in USA. Thank you so much. Descriptive elements and dialogue is one of my challenges. I appreciate this video so much. Gracias mil !!!!!
75 and just beginning. I don't expect much to come of it, but I enjoy watching the scenes roll out and shift as I imagine each moment. Enjoyable and difficult, much like life.
I can't say enough about this video. Mr Jenkins uses clear, simple words to demonstrate truths that, once heard, become self-evident. Where have I been? Thanks Mr. J!
Some really great advice. I have the habit of trying to replace the word said too much because it was always encouraged by teachers back in my school days.
As a working author, take my advice. Watch this twice and take notes.
You are right
I've watched it six times so far.
I will and thank you
@@jacobdowler1135 because we have a passion to learn the craft. Makes things interesting for us.
@@jacobdowler1135 The answer is in your question. The rest of us aren't watching this for a school requirement. We're watching it because we're genuinely learning how to write a book.
1. Cut dialogue to the bone.
2. Use dialogue to reveal backstory.
3. Use dialogue to reveal character.
4. Be subtle. (subtext, sidestepping, silence)
5. Read your dialogue aloud.
6. Create a 'Make My Day' moment.
Thank you!
@aly. Thanks for the quick reference summary.
Thank you sir/ ma’am :)
😊
Thanks, but I'll watch the video for myself.
Feels like I met him in an alley with a suitcase of cash and hes whispering these secrets before the rain let's out
Lmao what?!
😂
Good ambiance construction! ;~)
😄. Love this. Hope you're writing.
lets*
Dude, you are a godsend. It's rare that someone with this kind of experience puts up this kind of content, for free, and a platform like TH-cam. Usually, it's some sponsored website requiring a membership or monthly fee or something. Mr Jenkins, I want you to know that this stuff _is_ amazing and helpful and beyond appreciated. It is exactly what people like me have been looking for. Please, please, _please,_ keep uploading and sharing as much knowledge as possible.
Him and Brandon Sanderson are just the best gifts to every writer out there.❤️❤️❤️
"If you can avoid this pitfall you'll instantly have a leg up on your competition" Provided you're competing with non-produced writers.. Conveniently left out that little diddy.
Thats why yt is good they get a bit of money out of it (views and ads) and the viewer pays nothing
Second that!
@@Emancy3 Brandon Sanderson's lessons are god tier. Respect.
Eighteen minutes without an "Erm" or "Ah." Very professional!
2:24
@@isaknoem5475 That's him describing what happens in real life.
@@arhamsaa yep
Reading off a script
It is edited
As an aspiring writer, dialogue is one of the most challenging things for me to write. Thank you for this.
Same back my old books I used to make when I was at school my characters sounds like robots than actual human beings
Same
Keep reading and pay attention to how good writers write dialogue. It gets easier
I love dialogue because I can do it but when it to comes to action “he run fast” is basically my magnum opus
yes repartee between the nemsis is quiet compelling done well. The problem is were in a very immediate gratification society so we are forced to keep it punchy
This channel is a goldmine
1:42 Write an essay quickly
th-cam.com/video/uGiR-neokWs/w-d-xo.html
True
Yeah it is. I had to sort through 100 channels of 20-something women saying the same drek over and over to find this channel and actual useful info. The scary part if some of those vapid people are agents. Guess self-publishing it is.
I’ve wasted tons of time in authortube videos, just to find all and more advice in this single one.Thank you Mr.Jenkins
Yeah, you are right.
People who sit down and make videos like this are genuinely creating the next great generation of authors. Thank you for sharing your insight on this topic.
I feel like my words from tomorrow will be leaps and bounds better than my words from yesterday because of this video.
6 keys to writing riveting dialogue 🙂
1.Cut writing to bones-Get to the good stuff
2.Use it to reveal backstory but don’t info dump (have the characters reveal a little bit at a time)
3.Use dialogue to reveal character (show not tell)
4. Be subtle
A) use subtext
B) use sidestepping
C) use Silence
5) Read your dialogue aloud
6) create ‘Make My Day’ moment
How to format
Use he said or she said -
don’t use creative way to say it don’t wheeze snort or grunt replied retorted declared are not needed
Don’t have characters use each other’s name
Too much
Don’t put said in the beginning of sentence
Resist urge to explain
Cardinal sin of dialogue-
Avoid on the nose dialogue
Don’t use prose that mirrors real life
could you please explain the last one that do not use prose that mirrirs real life.
@@modani9484I think he's referring to the use of unnecessary details. The bit where he said, "She opened her purse which was on her shoulder" etc.
Omfg how do I get you OFF MY FEEEED???
@@modani9484Bit late, but the part of not using prose that mirrors life isn't a clear cut advice as it might seem. They are saying to cut things in dialogue like “Uhms, and Uhs”, but there are caveats to this way with showing and telling. Pauses during dialogue are necessary, and one masterful way to 'show don't tell' is learning the “sound” of it and how you can control pauses and what information is dispersed through punctuation and clever usage of clauses(sections of a sentence). For example, ellipses(…) and em dashes(-) when read do totally different things to the volume of the words being spoken(this applies to narrative, too). Em dashes cut out stuff abruptly, usually at the same or higher volume(exclamation marks do that well) and ellipses 'trail off' or quiet out its words in-between.
Writing a dialogue is to a writer what drawing hands is to an artist: so easy to mess up. Thank you, Mr. Jenkins!
This guy teaches like he's got a gun to his head. I love it
This is great.
He teached like he writes good dialog.
Man this "show, not tell" is really everywhere and I LOVE IT
As well as info dumps at the beginning, I sometimes see villains infodumping at the end, as if someone in real life would reveal their whole plan to someone they're opposed to XD It's a stupid move and it ruins villains! Villains should be intelligent, and being cocky isn't smart.
Actually, I have friends in real life who take on the "villain" role, either in games or when they have emotional tantrums after something has upset them, and they do a total infodump. It's so refreshing. I much prefer that to the piecemeal setup of getting people to feel open enough around me to share what is really going on with them. Spending years teasing apart the layers of the psyche of those who like to keep their walls up was an alluring endeavor filled with mystery, but in hindsight, there were much more enjoyable ways of passing the time. The infodumpers do have their fair share of intelligent and sophisticated moments too.
@@letsdomath1750This. I know intelligent info dump people. I think it's just some arbitrary rule because people definitely do it.
@@Th3BigBoy For sure, it probably made it into literature because someone observed "villains" not being able to stay silent about their plans. It's hard for them to keep their excitement in their pants, lol. 🤣
Well pride is a common villain fatal flaw
“Dialogue tags such as, reply, exclaim, retort, remark are archaic and over done”
Hmmm interesting *proceeds to change out roughly 75% of all my dialogue tags
If anything is overdone it's "said".
My teachers said (well this is funny) “said is dead” and I’ve been using some of these lol
If you use "said" so much that you need synonyms, it's a sign that you don't write very natural dialogue. Notice in this video, how little he uses indications of speaking.
@@thakillman7 This teacher said it as a general statement to the whole class, so it wasn’t personalized advice to anyone in particular.
@@edenarchive4150 not really. 'Said' is skipped over by the brain, that's the entire point. Bringing attention to a dialogue tag is probably the opposite of what you want to do, as it messes up with the pacing of the story. Sometimes removing dialogue tags period is the more prudent option anyways.
Imagine every other sentence you have this:
"Stop!" Janelle exclaimed.
"I've got to go to the store, what do you want?" James bellowed
"Well, I was about to say you forgot your keys but nevermind then!" she retorted
Ugh, what an eye sore. My brain is just constantly stopping and starting at the dialogue tags, very clunky.
I'm an aspiring writer. It's my first time writing my own story and writing my characters' dialogue is my biggest problem !!!! Thank you so much !!!! 😭😭😭
Okay, I just now found this guy's channel and I'm already amazed. No lame gimmicks, no flashy nonsense. Just the guy sharing his expertise for free. As an aspiring writer, you have my gratitude Mr. Jenkins.
I have my first book to rewrite...I"ve put it off for several years because I knew I made all these mistakes. Thank you so much!
Oooooh It's been a year, how is your story going?
@@bluefox7678 Oh, I haven't been able to touch it. We are renovating our house while living in it. I have also barely gotten to all my hobbies and interests. I have not forgotten and will refer to these videos and update when I have found the time. Thank you for your interest!
@@BellaEssentialLiving Thank you for your reply and good luck on your renovation!
I needed some of your reminders. As a published author I do a lot without thought. These six highlights are spot on. Writers can often get lost in the story arc thought process and slip up some of the important elements of great dialogue. Thanks for the refresher course, Jerry Jenkins.
Just leaving this here for myself and others.
1:58 Key 1 Cut dialogue to the bone
3:01 Key 2 Use dialogue to reveal backstory
5:06 Key 3 Use dialogue to reveal character
6:17 Key 4 Be subtle
6:33 Key 4 Be subtle(Subtext)
7:29 Key 4 Be subtle(Sidestepping)
9:13 Key 4 Be subtle(Silence)
10:19 Key 5 Read your dialogue aloud
11:26 Key 6 Create a ‘make my day’ moment
12:12 Miscellaneous problems
thanks mate I'm rewatching to gain clarity this helps me with specific parts
The silence thing is soo true. I always find myself writing "he didn,t say anything",or "he didn,t respond." Maybe "he simply stared at her" is better?
I let the characters respond in "..." sometimes when I can't figure out what else to do. I think "He stared at her" can be enough. For me personally that can be a response depending on how she stared like "He gazed at her with narrowed eyes.".
It depends what you want to express with your writing. Does the character care what is spoken? Is he confused? Is he surprised? Something I would like as a reader go grasp.
Same! In editing my novel, I've been removing so many of those "he didn't reply, she didn't look, they didn't hear anything" type of things. Describe what is, not what isn't.
Work on the ideas, not on what is formally considered dialogue.
Forget "formal dialogue" entirely.
"You intend to be late!"
His jaw dropped to one side in disgust. Normally he would have smacked the stupidity out of her, but he no longer belived in such methods.
@@Scarletraven87 Whose jaw drops in disgust? And Who gets disgusted over getting late?
@@arhamsaa I think it's meant to be that sort-of 'sharp intake of breath' (where you open your mouth slightly to take a quick in-breath) jaw drop, not an exaggerated 'O' of shock/horror where the mouth is wide open; the 'to one side' suggests to me that there's a bit of a grimace (the disgust element) to the expression.
The disgust is in response to an accusation that there is an 'intent' to be late, it's not disgust over being late in and of itself.
The best dialogue ever was any time Anakin is confessing his love to Padme. "I hate sand"
I'm actually starting to write because of this video years ago.
Put yourself in the situation, say the words out loud. If it feels like something someone would say, put it down. If not, alter it. Remember that character's aren't talking to the audience, they're speaking to each other, and often the most dire, important things are left unsaid. Change words according to your character's accent, and bingo, bango, bongo!
Touching on the make my day part of the video I realized just how memorable many of Bungie Halo's dialogue are.
-"Oh I know what the ladies like"
-"To give the covenant back their bomb"
-"Shipmaster they outnumber us 3 - 1!", "then it is an even fight."
-"Listen, Reach has been good to me. Time has come to return the favor. Don't deny me this"
and lastly my personal favorite:
-"We can get past it sir!" "No you can't, not without help" "Commander you don't have the firepower!" "I've got the mass" "..Solid copy, hit em hard boss" "You're on your own Noble, Carter out"
I've never written anything before, and I've only had a fleeting interest in writing anything. I've looked up a few tips on writing and what pitfalls to avoid, and I have to say that your videos are a cut above everything else. You have very high quality videos, and your explanations are really easy to follow.
I have had a hard time understanding the concept of "showing not telling" and I think after all these years this guy finally SHOWED how it's done...
Thank you Sir.
I can't believe I was already doing some of this unconsciously. It's a relief to know that I'm on the right track. Looking forward to learning more from you.
13:50 "I once wrote an entire novel, _The Last Operative,_ without attributing a single line of dialogue." I bought the Kindle edition after watching this video a few months ago. The book was excellent, as I expected, and not once was I lost in dialogue. I learned much from reading that book, gaining insights on how to attribute dialogue without _attributing_ dialogue.
Today, I came back for a refresher. There is more sound advice in this short video than in some entire books on dialogue.
Thank you so much for the most organized, “to the bone”, clear, and actionable advice on writing ever! 👏🙏👍
As an educator I always tell my students to write with clarity. Your videos are always clear and your tone is calming which allows your listeners to learn these most helpful skills. Thank you!
Yes. His speech pattern is measured and unhurried. It’s easy to follow.
Oh dear Jerry Sir. Where were you these days? I published a short story in Tamil language only with the help of your tips. Thank you so much. A lot love from India❤️😍🥰😘
Bro Tamil ah neenga ... spr bro
It’s such a beautiful gift when someone so successful is willing to freely give advice like this to others! Thank you Jerry you are a treasure!
"Hey, Boo." Comes to mind as a small, quotable phrase that said it all. Allllll the book lead up to that moment when she saw her mystery man. All she said was that little line. I loved that.
Spot on. I see it all the time. TMI. I call it stage directions. It where dialog directs characters from an external viewpoint rather than from the character's viewpoint.
Woah, now the dialogue I wrote yesterday sounds REALLY bland and boring. I'm definitly going to edit it, thank you!
15:38 But Jerry, you do give us that Yodaesque wisdom. And I am very very grateful that you do.
"Uh...wow," typed J upon his phone keyboard appreciatively. Yet, deep down J knew that he hadn't fully aborbed what the guy with glasses had spoken to J. J knew that he would probably continue to write sub-par dialogue and narrative for the stories he penned. Then, almost automatically, J moved the picture of the video to the bottom of his screen and used his thumb the scroll through other writing advice videos, that J would continue to ignore.
I'm writing a novel as a little passion project (so I'm an amateur). This is invaluable advice. Definitely subscribed.
A friend of mine sent this to me over discord. Thankfully, I've already applied a good chunk of these into the way I write. But there's always room for improvement.
Wow! I learned more in this 19:00 video than I did in 2 Udemy and a Masterclass course! You are the best! Thank you!!!
Needed this SO badly. I was quite foggy on the rules of writing good dialogue, but after watching this I feel much more confident in myself to create it well.
This is invaluable for someone honing their dialogue. Thankyou Jerry.
I finished watching Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf. And it was absolutely beautiful. The dialogue was amazing! I love all of this advice.
1:53 Write an essay quickly
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Becoming Jane has good dialogue too when the women are discussing the potential of becoming writers in an age of thinking where women did not do anything outside of the home if they were married.
at first glance I thought you wrote who's afraid of vigaina
I’m reminded of an old quote: “When the student is ready the teacher will appear.” It’s the way this video just popped up on my YT Home Screen. I know algorithms are involved but still - the timing was uncanny.
I’ve been writing as a hobby with no real organization or formal structure. I had recently decided to get more serious about it; so when this video showed up I was immediately drawn in.
When Mr. Jenkins gave an example mentioning the City of Cincinnati , I almost jumped up to look for hidden cameras as if the video might be an elaborate prank. Three guesses what City I call home!
I looked up Mr. Jenkins’ basic biography. He wasn’t born in Cincinnati. I see no obvious connection so I’m not sure why he chose my City for his example…but it felt like a sign that I am supposed to pursue this using the guidance and information he’s providing here and in others of his videos.
I have found the videos of his that I’ve watched so far will be wonderful resources. I’m really getting excited about writing with a different goal than before. I know it will be worthwhile to develop my craft.
Thank you so much for putting me on the path!
I am a frustrated writer for years, and all the "amateur" stuff hits me hard. thank you for the tips!
I heard someone give advice once which helped me a lot. You know when you have an argument with someone, and after the fact you think of everything you should have said? That revised dialogue that you wish you said, is the speech that you want your characters to speak in.
Wow. My first time here. Mr Jenkins dropping gold. And he speaks so well too. I've made the mistake with on the nose dialogue a lot too.
So, I listened to your lesson on dialog, and see where I need to really tighten mine up in my current project. Thank you for your tutorial.
The day after watching it, my husband and I had a conversation, and it really hit me that it was following your tutorial.
We referenced the past, but didn't go into detail because we already knew it collectively. Just like the example you gave where the woman didn't want to talk about the accident, "Let's just not talk about it..." etc.
Wow, thank you, Mr. Jenkins!
I m writing comics. And I have been working on my dialogue for some time, cuz I know that it's my weakness. Thank you for sharing this. You earned a like and subscribe
@Matthew Jones yup you're totaly right. But there is thing that only 30 or so % of informatio people tell by words. I olso try to use face expresions and body languge as much as posible well in the end they are part of art style. I olso try to avoid puting too much text cuz it's easy to get tired from that. I can draw well and I can expres different kind of information, I can format and plan the story but it's difficult to write a good dialogue. In my story there is not much action but lots of conflic.
You can only imagine how helpful this is you cannot understand completely or rather let me say I cannot completely explain how grateful I am thanks so much for blessing us with your knowledge.
I love this guy! He's willing to share his knowledge and writing wisdom. He's blessed for sure 🙏
This guy is phenomenal!
He's teaching us without breaking eye contact. I think I didn't blink the whole time. And I didn't even notice that it is raining outside. Gonna watch this all over again.
As a Finnish, I perfectly understand the silent dialogue. 😁
This is by far, one of the most straight forward and informative explanations on effective dialogue I have seen!
Thank you Mr. Jenkins. A deep well.
This guy! No wonder he is a best selling author. The way he speaks just makes you sit and listen more and more. Thank you sir.
This guy is a great writing coach. His hints remind me of a book we had over 40 years ago in English class, The Lively Art Of Writing by Lucile Vaughn Payne. I still refer to it and it’s still in print.
60 years old, loads of half finished stuff, you may have inspired me to move on again. Thx.
Words aren't enough to express my gratitude to you, Mr. Jenkins. It really is an honor to learn from an experienced and successful author such as yourself. Regardless of how good the plot may be, dialogue has always troubled me. But your words of wisdom have undeniably helped me. Thank you, sir. ❤
as someone who is trying to write a narrative for the first time since high school, this is very insightful.
If you want to understand dialogue, you can do worse than study the best screen-writers.
And something they often use which you can add to the Jerry's seven keys is the cut away. The best screen writers often cut away from a scene before the end, leaving the remainder to the imagination. And imagination is often much more powerful than anything you could write explicitly.
Yo jerry, I'm just a novice/noob/beginner writer and I'd like to thank you for this nice video. It's a nice mental break.
I have a really good story that I’ve been pondering and jotting notes for a couple years. But I’m not a writer. However, since this story has stuck with me so long, I now feel obligated to write it. Consuming videos like this is my sheepish attempt at doing it justice.
Don't give it up! Sometimes, people choose to write stories and the stories come to them. At other times, the stories choose to be written and choose one person to write them. I hope you've made progress. If you publish, come back and post it. I'll buy it!
You just flipped everything I thought I knew upside down and I'm not sure how to feel. I've always thought of myself as being a very good descriptive writer. Setting the scene, including the details that really make them feel like they are there. Like you said, it's what I was taught. I'm stating to take writing seriously as everyone tells me over and over that I need to be writer. I came across this actually looking for proper punctuation in dialog as it's been many years since I've really used it much. I'm kinda sad that one of my perceived strengths is now a liability. Seems like the books I loved when I was younger were very descriptive. Even though I read Fantasy novels of all sorts, not best sellers. I thank you for your insight and influence. I hope I can adapt and grow from it.
This strikes a chord with me too. Describing real life…I felt good about my minutiae. Now my eyes have been opened. Never thought about how writing styles evolve and trend in and out like clothes. It’s fortunate that we’ve been enlightened on this topic.
I’m leaning towards getting serious about writing too. I want to watch more of these videos for guidance throughout my process. I’m excited to look at the prospect with different eyes now. Good luck to you.
By far the best thing about Jerry's video is he explains the tip, then shows a poor example and then a polished example using his tip. Seeing the difference is a huge help!. Thank You Jerry
I love reading books but never knew the amount of effort and planning that needs to be done by the writer.
This video is so good. This guy truly knows what he's talking about and was able to convey it so precisely without any lack of understanding from the viewer.
Hi, Jerry - I just want to say how much I appreciate you and your willingness to instruct, teach and share what you know about writing. It is so helpful and I appreciate the lack of 'language' in your videos. You're able to get the message across without the profanity. Thank you, Sir! :)
."Dig deep...mine your emotions in your mind , in your heart and in your soul...take the reader with you." I get it. it's like I learned in theater. When learning script,, we are told get get in touch with the character, allow the words on the page permeate you and allow the emotions of the words come through Being a good writer requires you to feel the words, as you said, mine your emotions. Thanks you Jerry - this was an a-ha moment.
Jerry has really helped me as a budding writer
by far the most helpful video on writing dialogue I've watched so far
Thank you. I watched with skepticism but I learned much from this.
"Thank you for this" John enthused , gratefully.
Great information! You sent me racing back to my story, reanalyzing all the "he didn't respond" statements that I now know are mistakes! :P
I love how the section about avoiding alternative dialogue tags is immediately followed with an example rewrite of a scene where the character "whispered" something instead of "said" it.
Hi, Jerry, "It was, "Go ahead punk. Make my day."
Thanks for your great tips, Jerry, Sir.
You sir are a treasure.
You just poked into many holes in my writing and now I finally have something to improve upon.
Thank you. I place these golden nuggets in a very sacred space in my mental workshop. They shine light on the darker spots of my writing.
I can tell you have spent more time in books than around people, you said a few things in this video that make that overwhelmingly clear!
okay so i just realized my wattpad book was written in all the wrong ways 💀💀
Whats it called would love to read it and give feedback
Don't worry, bro. Everyone has to start somewhere. I still cringe remembering the erotic fanfics/hentai I made when I was in middle school.
SAME😭
Thank you for not giving us a bunch of fluff with no real things we can use. Looking forward to applying what I learned to my WIP.
I was told that good dialogue are words used as tools by a character to achieve an un-stated goal. True sub-text comes from what the character's ulterior motive is behind the words.
this is by far the best video i’ve seen on here about writing. so many ppl make youtube channels and repeat the same points and u can tell they don’t even know what they’re talking about. its usually young ppl who could take another 10 to 20 years cutting their teethe before they try to start teaching ppl… it’s refreshing to see someone actually giving good examples. thank u jerry.
Jerry, this is awesome advice. Dialogue is my pet peeve, can't get a handle on it. I'm hoping that I can put this into practice and better execute dialogue in my writing. Thanks, man!
When you're in a restaurant, listen to conversations taking place around you. Have your journal handy and take notes.
Glad to see people who know the value of this information commenting. I may not appreciate as much but I believe am going to become good at writing if I keep trying to know those thing I don't know yet about the business
Wow! This video is fantastic! I love all of your videos, so informative! Thank you Jerry😊
This is a solid point. We all know what a phone call sounds like, whereas i just want to know what the call was about...such an innocent mistake, but I've seen it as well and we don't need a play by play on something we are undoubtedly familiar with.
Excellent video! I struggle a lot, especially being someone with autism, to hit that balance between believable dialogue and book dialogue, so i'm also a little happy that some of these tips already align, means i must be doing at least something right.
I found the reminder that dialogue isn't supposed to be actual dialogue, but a representation of actual dialogue, especially useful to how to approach finding that balance. :D
This is art,,,only keeping acquires by practice. Teaching bicycle in book. Does not make rider. Similarly, Author has given golden guidence. Those who implement to them ll be benifited.
Jerry thank you for sharing your years of experience with us. :)
Thanks forr sharing such useful tips, Mr. Jenkins! I'd like to start writing a novel, so your channel is gold! One step at a time.
I feel enlightened, always thought dialogue was bad- this turned my world around.
Thank you Jerry. I've learned so much with your lessons. English is my second language, but I cannot imagine not writing in that language as I did 90 % of my education here in USA. Thank you so much. Descriptive elements and dialogue is one of my challenges. I appreciate this video so much. Gracias mil !!!!!
75 and just beginning. I don't expect much to come of it, but I enjoy watching the scenes roll out and shift as I imagine each moment. Enjoyable and difficult, much like life.
Thank you, Jerry, this is one of the things I'm struggling with and your advice has really helped.
I can't say enough about this video. Mr Jenkins uses clear, simple words to demonstrate truths that, once heard, become self-evident. Where have I been? Thanks Mr. J!
Some really great advice. I have the habit of trying to replace the word said too much because it was always encouraged by teachers back in my school days.
1:55 Reach Your Goals
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This man's advice and lessons are blessings to literature..