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Why is it always so funny when you run around with an oversized flag doing different hops, skips, trots, sayings, burns and qoutes?! My sides hurt! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
A female neighbour got attacked by three men at night while walking her dog. They pushed her from behind and she fell hard on the concrete. She didn't have time to react to the situation, and her dog, a one year old female rottweiler, came running to her and jumped a guy, latched on his arm and let go only when he ran away, then she ran back to her owner and circled around her until she got up and got back in her building. She was not trained, rottweilers are very protective, especially females. I met this dog, she is super friendly with humans and dogs.
Rottweilers can be fantastic pets if given the attention and training they need. Have met several some were wonderful, sweet loving and safe to be around. Unfortunately I have also seen the flip side of those dogs too. And there have been more of the unsocialized, untrained, "throw them in the yard to guard and ignore them type owners".. Sounds like your neighbor was one of the good owners. To bad they are in the minority when it comes to Rottweiler owners. Rottweilers, Doberman etc get a bad rap due to the lousy owners. I do not believe in bad dog breeds, I am a firm believer in the bad owners cause problems. Your story and and the difference in the same breeds action only confirm that to me.
Terrible story from Atlanta a few years ago, a young lady was stabbed in the park- she felt safe bc she had a large protection dog with her- they stabbed the dog and then killed her...happened to be the one area in the park the cameras were out- not sure it was ever solved- this is in the last 5 years- i lived 15 min from the park
Dog seems to be trained correctly, he alerted his owner before attacking, read the situation, only attacked when it was clear he and/or his owner was in a dangerous situation, and retreated when the danger was no longer present. He's a protective boy
Yeah, and he attacked just enough to make the threat run away (and more importantly, still be able to do this). If he'd gone to town on the creep it would have been a different story, but Thor used just the necessary amount of force for what he needed to do, which was to protect his lovely hooman. You da goodest boy, Thor!
I've had my dog for almost 10 years. He's the gentlest creature on the planet, cats and kids love him. He's basically a walking pillow. But one time I got followed by some creep for a few blocks and my dog snapped at him when he tried to touch me. I haven't seen anything like that from him before or since. Dogs can be so intuitive sometimes ❤️
SIL's reaction makes me think that she might be the one that cause OP to have to change her phone number 3 times. SIL isn't scared for her child, she wants to get rid of the dog so EX can get to OP.
@@bun04y Either that or the SIL is letting an "unsavory" person be around the niece and fears Thor will protect her from that person...or she just hates bulldogs and was just waiting for an excuse to ban him. Either way, SIL is a red flag, and Thor is 100% a green flag and a good boy!
@@bun04y I think you’re jumping to conclusions. Lots of people are scared of bulldogs or pit bulls. Dogs are animals, not humans. I understand the aunt’s apprehension because the dog has the capacity to do serious damage, and you can’t necessarily predict a dog’s behaviour the same way you can a family member’s behaviour. I’m a dog lover myself but I sympathetise with her
@@AutisticChristian Humans are animals. We don't like to think of ourselves that way, thinking we are better than animals. But, look at the EX, clearly many of us are not. And, looking at Thor, many of us are worse than animals. Thor protected his owner and himself when someone was trying to hurt her. If this woman had defended herself with her gun, would the SIL now think she was too unpredictable to be around her niece because she hurt someone? If not, why not? Thor has never hurt anyone until this incident; this was a unique situation that cannot be the baseline from which to judge his normal behavior. And, if you scroll down, someone posted an update to the story. The SIL and brother were dumb, thinking that OP wasn't worried about the stalking incident. (Nevermind all the things she was doing to prepare to defend herself when things went down.) In the update, OP pretty much came to the conclusion that they don't want to be around her anymore because they don't know how to deal with the trauma she went through. So, instead of getting over their discomfort and supporting her, they are banning Thor (and ultimately her) from their lives. See? Humans are worse than animals. Thor defended his owner and had his own trauma over that - he sounds like a sweet boy who did something out of character to protect her - and he hasn't shunned her! He is still loving and supporting her.
5:18 a drive-by shooting with over 60 rounds at a woman's house because she didn't want to date someone!? That is disgusting behavior and it's a miracle no one was hurt. I hope your neighbor is okay and glad you and your girlfriend got some at home protection.
It's kinda weird though don't you think that 60 rounds fired into the neighbors house and they didn't immediately call 911? They waited until the next day to "call a friend"? Sounds sus to me
@@ChaoticAuthenticityIf they live in a country setting gun shots are quite normal and if you can't see anything you really don't call the cops.. if I were to call the cops Everytime a round of shots went off I'd be charged with calling 911 when there's noneed to. Dude sounds like he's southern so it's probably normal. I'm sure if he would've seen something he would've called. Getting a hold of someone on the department next day is pretty normal. Done it several times. Because while you weren't in danger or believed you weren't due to not seeing anything, you still would like to know what's going on. It's just the "joys" of living in the sticks with others near by
I'm glad you got home protection and am going to follow your link to check it out myself (probably won't be able to afford it). But I can't help but wonder if our security systems now have to include armored siding to protect from rounds of bullets cuz I don't see how cameras help anyone but the police trying to solve the multiple homicides afterwards.
It’s even scarier if an abusive ex stalks you and your kids. He looked for us for 10 years and found us a few times. I refused to let him get visitation and actually cut off family members who I thought would give him my information. It only stopped when he died and I’m embarrassed to say I literally did the happy dance when I found out.
It's not a trauma competition. Someone else always has a worse experience, and that doesn't take from the individual pain and struggle - it's a big deal for victims to feel validated and supported, and it's paticularly cruel that you would belittle their trauma as another with similar experience. You probably didn't intend to do this. I'm sure this topic woke something in you and it needed out, and I'm glad that you let it out. I'm glad you got away and are safe. ❤
There's an update to the stalker story! Basically OP had her brother and SIL come over for a sit down. They claim because OP hadn't seemed "all that worried" about the stalker situation they didn't think it was seriously affecting her (apparently getting a gun and taking self defense course wasn't enough of a clue). OP calls bs and lists all the things she's done in the last year to make herself feel safe again but doesn't press the issue further. As to the SIL, when OP questioned why crating Thor when they come over wasn't good enough she couldn't come up with a good reason and said that would work. OP isn't sure if they're actually going to continue seeing her as much or if they're going to come up with another excuse. She thinks they just don't want to be around her while she's going through something traumatic Edit: the update itself is kinda long otherwise I would've just posted it here. There's more information in the update regarding how OP is doing/healing. I highly encourage you to look it up if you're interested in knowing all the details, I tried to summarize the parts with her brother and SIL since that's what I figured most would wanna know
Sad to say, OP is correct in thinking they don't want to be around her while she's dealing with the courts. They might be accomplices and helped her stalker find her. I had my family do this to me. For some money, my own family gave my stalker (ex-husband) details about my life, whereabouts, and how to try to win me back. I hope this isn't the case, but the fact they're now pretending to not know she was being stalked and supposedly ignored all the things she was doing to protect herself, makes me think they were helping him.
@incoporealmage294 it wasn't all bad. OP did mention that she does feel safer and she was able to drive around by herself for the first time in a year as well. It seems she's overall doing OK given the circumstances and she knows her brother/SIL are full of it
@user-wx1wn6po8p they weren't ignoring that she was being stalked, they were very aware of it. Op, like most people with stalkers, just wasn't outwardly expressing just how terrified she was so they didn't think it had gotten to the point it had till it was too late Your experiences are clouding your judgment here
I had a stalker ex. Pre-internet, thank God. He tried to get a job where I worked, with no qualifications for a Fortune 500 company.. But he got in and told the HR person "She F--d all my friends." The guy threw him out, but I was so embarrassed. He kept sending letters with pictures which I tore up as I scanned the letter for death threats. I have brothers who threatened him. I had a new man (we're married 32 years now.) Stalker would call me at the crack of dawn (to be polite, he said, since the sun was up) To tell me things I should tell my married boyfriend (he wasn't married). We got engaged and bought a house. That seemed to end it. It's so frustrating to have a creep stalk you.
Having a stalker goes SO deep into your life. Can’t share things on social media. Can’t have a LinkedIn. Can’t share your face anywhere someone would find you. And you can’t even share “I have a stalker” with just anyone because you never know who the hell they know! It is exhausting.
I have news for you all. While I’ve not been stalked, a member of my family is a cop and was working on a stalking case. He spent a lot of man hours gathering evidence, including electronic messages etc. it took months and he was convinced he had an open and shut case. He went to the local DA with the victim and the DA asked what she wanted to happen. She wanted him to go to prison. The DA said, “ well that’s not going to happen” My family member was so disgusted and angry. It ended in a plea deal and the stalker didn’t spend a day in jail. He had gone into her house, stolen her phone. None of that mattered. Laws need to catch up with what is happening.
Sadly there is a level of crime that is legal in every city based on how many resources the police have. Anecdotally, the bottleneck is literally wherever the resources end after the biggest, baddest crimes are being handled. For example if your car is busted into in Dorchester MA causing hundreds in damage and hundreds more in stolen makeup (irrelevant but funny, in a church parking lot during a wedding) they will not do anything and be mildly annoyed you wasted their time. They're too busy dealing with crackheads in methadone mile and overworked to hell at that, trying to solve a hydra-esque problem. So it's not really that the laws are broken it's that it's too resource intensive to enforce them. And depending on where you live, the level of crime that is unpunished may be uncomfortably high.
Absolutely agree, it needs to be seen as the serious and dangerous threat it is, and awareness and education in the public and law enforcement sector will help that. Sadly, LE is barely trained in it. But there is such a connection between stalking, harassment, coercive control and harm to ppl when it goes unchecked. Education, eyes on it, sunlight on the corruption, making those who are in the position to do something aware how we feel about it will help bring change.
BS like that is why I don't blame people who go full Jennifer Lopez from "Enough," when they feel the law won't be able to save them and any endangered loved ones. Glad your relative had the proper reaction, but it's still vile how often stalker cases aren't treated seriously. My own dad had a creepy stalker ex who pulled some scary shit, so I don't care what some disconnected DA says. If they don't have the "resources" or ability to give a shit about the victims of stalking, that's gonna force many civilians to continue distrusting the system and needing to stay hyper-vigilant.
10:14 This woman does not understand animals. Everything OP says on “him snapping” is correct. He didn’t snap he defended his home and human. He read her fear and panic and acted appropriately. That’s a dog. A pack animal and team mate. Her daughter is safer with Thor there. He looks at her as part of his pack. If he doesn’t attack the mailman(a person many dogs see as invaders) he is good at reading the situation. A very good dog.
Exactly! If anything, Thor has just proved that he can tell the difference between family/regular people and an actual threat. I'd trust him MORE at this point!!!
@@windy8544 Except you're ignoring the part where this dog was around this child before, he understands the difference between a toddler crying or being loud, and his owner, who is normally calm, LITERALLY RUNNING FOR HER LIFE. Stop equating the situations.
@@windy8544 untrue, darling. Small children do have piercing cries, but humans cannot hear the differences that dogs can. My niece used to squeak and dash away from her grandmother’s dog. And Caroline (the dog) would gleefully trot along with Allie (my niece). One afternoon, we heard Allie squeak from around the side of the house, while we were in the back. Caroline doesn’t trot over, she goes sprinting! Now, this is a Rhodesian Ridgeback with long legs. She can cover ground fast! So, she goes sprinting past. I get up to follow, since Caroline doesn’t typically move that fast (she’s 12!) Allie’s mom (my cousin, but we call her kids our nieces) gets up when she hears me yelp in alarm. Allie had tripped, and fallen in the street. Caroline had heard the squeak was just different enough and knew Allie was in trouble. Once we got Allie picked up, and treated the scrape on her forehead, Caroline would not leave her side! To us humans, Allie’s squeak sounded like her playful sound. Caroline heard it as distress, and not play. Caroline was right!
Thor is totally a hero. I would absolutely let him around my son. My best friend’s dogs are a huge Pit bull and a Great Dane, and they’re amazing with my son and niece. They’re so gentle and protective of them. Nothing but love. Good boy, Thor! 😭🫶🏻
@@LillyMarz777 Yeah but this dog has been going to classes and is well trained. Dogs are not the problem -- people who don't train them are. My friend has a Pomeranian who never barks and just likes to play -- insanely well trained dog.
@@LillyMarz777 no... just no. You could literally say that about any animal. Pitbull are no different than any other dog, they are not more aggressive by nature. Hell, given her experience having another man around is way the hell more dangerous than the freakin pitbull.
Update on Story 2! She apparently had a meetup with her brother and SIL and they amazingly claimed they had no idea she was having a hard time. They thought that since the stalker was in jail that everything was more or less back to normal and she was perfectly fine. She had been trying very hard not to be "that girl" that was always in crisis mode so she would play off how scared she really was, so as not to be a burden to others. She thinks that's why they thought she was unaffected, but she doesn't fully buy that as they knew she had bought a gun and went through self defense training. They apologized for being insensitive. She pressed them on why crating Thor wasn't good enough and SIL relented and said that would be fine; it helped that Thor was asleep the entire time they were there. She said that the paranoid part of her thinks that they just didn't want to deal with her while she was vulnerable and made up the dog excuse. They all seem to be on good terms now but she's not sure if it'll last, as of the latest update 4 years ago. She's relying on friends for support instead, but she was able to leave Thor at home and drive around the block alone. A lot of people in the comments are being really nasty towards her, which is probably why she stopped updating in my opinion. I sincerely hope she's doing better and that her brother and SIL have pulled their heads out of their rear ends.
@@Jupiter-T I think they're all just nasty people in general and taking out their issues on her for some unknown reason. But when do nasty people ever need a reason to be nasty? Sad lot, all of them in my opinion.
@ashamane what are you talking about? OP never stated that she thought her dog had the same rights as a human and even stated that she didn't go into stores with him until fully trained. She also is not putting the child at risk as the dog only attacked when it knew there was a problem, most dogs would do the same. The dog also showed no signs of aggression before or after the incident. So either I'm reading your comment wrong/ misinterpreting it or you didn't pay attention to the story.
I am a survivor. My ex threatened me many times, and made a comment that if I ever had kids with another man he would unalive me and my child (we had no children). My now husband has been nothing but caring and protective, but I definitely still feel safer with a security system even 17 years later. When my son came home on the bus and that man was driving the bus, I had a massive meltdown and called the bus barn requesting that my child never be around him. Thank the heavens there was a monitor on the bus. I took so many extra precautions after that.
12:04 the SIL will not listen. I’ve been here before, people stupid enough to tell someone suffering from PTSD to get over it will also say a professional mental health provider is wrong. The only way to get them to stop is public shame.
@@Briar_Rose_92agreed. She's probably better off not having anything to do with them. If they can't support her then they shouldn't be part of her life. Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean they HAVE to be in your life or are good for your mental.health.
So what does SIL think Thor should have done? Sit like a good little boy while OP was abducted and murdered by her stalker? Sod That. She's acting like Thor's response was somehow unreasonable, and if she thinks that, she has the IQ of a rock.
Nah, she just doesn't want to have to face someone with this sort of trauma and actually help... so much easier to pretend you're still a good person if you have an excuse for avoiding them instead. OP offered to crate the dog. It's not about the dog, (who is a very good boy,) at all.
not about THOR. SIL doesn't like her there from the start, or hearing that you had a living room full of blood makes her think that you might bring trouble her way, so this is an excuse to get rid of her, and the dog is a convenient reason.
Yes she was okay! No one was injured thankfully. Sorry I should've clarified that a bit better. Another wild tidbit that I left out about that: my other neighbor actually got in his truck and chased the dudes down and got their license plate. He was the whole reason the cops were even able to make an arrest. Just a wild situation all around.
12:10 if he gets out, she won’t be told unless the officers have time to do so. It happens so many times that perpetrators get out and victims aren’t told in the USA. Its scarier when you dont know wether to be on edge or not
That dog is her fur child!! Good dog!! I had a cat attack my ex when he broke in my house. She was 20lbs and her two brothers Norwegian Forest cats and one was 26 lbs and the other 22 lbs all 3 sent dude to the hospital for 4 days and 20 yrs in prison. !! Hooray for fur children who love you and know their assignment.
Cats can MESS someone up if they feel threatened, a truly pissed off, defensive cat is terrifying. Do not underestimate the amount of rage they can fit in such a tiny package (let alone a cat that’s almost 30 lbs, what a unit). Glad u were well protected!!
@ thank you… ya absolutely didn’t and wasn’t expecting for them to do that!! I am so glad they were there! I feed feral cats and I spay neuter find homes if they are friendly. I had two protect me about a week ago from a rotten Karen she was going literally attack me with my back turned didn’t even hear her coming!! So I feel blessed to have cats all around me!! You are amazing and must be a cat parent 😻😻😻😻 I bet your an awesome amazing grateful hooman who is owned by a cat 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🥰🥰🥰
When I was still in grade school I saw a cat jump on a person who was messing with her kitten. That Mamma Kitty was like fuzzy lightning & did some damage. It left a lifelong impression on me! Got my own cats now & take care of ferals, I'm glad I learned young to really respect them.
Anyone who has a dog knows full well that in a danger situation, your dog will voluntarily die trying to protect you, even if they're the most friendliest dog in the world - which almost all of them truly are. Thor is a good boy❤ he deserves lots of treats and snuggles for doing what he needed to do.
The nice roommate guy doth protest too much. Anytime someone writes paragraphs passively aggressively justifying their actions, it's a Dustin Poynter-sized red flag.
even you are 100% sincere, if you have to explain your intentions to someone you make uncomfortable it is already too late. the best thing you can do for both parties..is nothing. don't explain, don't contact, change your routes to not run into them "by accident", get to no contact as soon as you can. then make new friends, study something, pick up a hobby, go to the gym anything not involving the other person. at the point someone says that you make them uncomfortable, there is no way back. if you see them in public a decade later, and they haven't seen you yet, go the other way.
Yeah, he kept changing gears, which does not exactly demonstrate sincerity. First it's "oh I didn't mean anything," then "how dare you reject my gift and my love," then "I won't leave and I want us to keep living together" like buddy. None of that is working. Look inward.
@@hockeygrrlmuse he was flailing around trying to find something that will work. there is no solution though. he took a chance and it didn't work, so it's over. there is no road back from where he was. respect her no and move out and let her live her own life. then live your own life and be happy and someone will come along who will find your happy life desirable and there you are!
The sad thing is, the flowers themselves were - not great, but if he'd just gone "ah shit, I thought it would be sweet but I didn't realize it would make you uncomfortable. My bad, won't happen again," the friendship would have been salvageable! But she set ONE (1) boundary, and he responded by vomiting a Wall Of Feelings at her all day long. Jeezy chreezy.
@@mariposakitten I think that could have happened; it's probably a coin flip, but if she did let it go he would then have to be conspicuous to never do anything even hinting at attraction again, and it doesn't seem like he had that level of self awareness or self control. on top of which, he didn't seem to want to go back to just passing by and existing in the same space. they had two different ideas about how they should relate, so it never would have been a match. even if she let him stay, he would still be better off finding somewhere else to live for both of their sakes. no knock against either except to say: when you find out it's not a match, recognize it's not a match and move on.
9:06 It’s really thoughtful of her to train her dog to make sure he doesn’t bother working Service Dogs, but Emotional Support Dogs are not protected by the ADA and you cannot bring them to pet-free businesses. Still you should always work with your pets so they can behave in pet-friendly businesses! (The only protection ESAs have under the ADA is your landlord cannot refuse you or your animal if their apartments are pet-free and they cannot charge you a pet fee.)
All of this! But yeah, I just want to shout out OP being a conscientious enough owner to be aware of how her dog could affect actual service dogs if he's disruptive.
Your SIL is a jerk. Where, WHERE is her sympathy?!?! Talk to your brother and then therapist to see if they'll explain it to her sense self. If this doesn't work, oh WELL. Say goodbye to SIL. You do NOT need someone like this in your life, especially with where you are emotionally and physically. ❤ I'm so sorry that her idiocy is making all of this worse!!
I can get behind her descision of not being comfortable with the dog around, it is her choice made out of fear as well. But to (seemimgly) not bave a grain of empaty toward a traumatic experience, family member none the less, big red flag.
For the woman with the dog, I would have her talk to her brother. She doesn't mention him at all so if he's on her side that would help. If not then invite both of them to a therapy session.
Id add to get the dog assessed by a trained behaviourist. Prove that the dog isnt a risk in normal situations. Well done, Thor though! Dogs always know when someone is shady....
Someone else posted the update. @dre1978 12 hours ago (edited) There's an update to the stalker story! Basically OP had her brother and SIL come over for a sit down. They claim because OP hadn't seemed "all that worried" about the stalker situation they didn't think it was seriously affecting her (apparently getting a gun and taking self defense course wasn't enough of a clue). OP calls bs and lists all the things she's done in the last year to make herself feel safe again but doesn't press the issue further. As to the SIL, when OP questioned why crating Thor when they come over wasn't good enough she couldn't come up with a good reason and said that would work. OP isn't sure if they're actually going to continue seeing her as much or if they're going to come up with another excuse. She thinks they just don't want to be around her while she's going through something traumatic
@@catz4m8z Honestly she should do so anyways, if she's dealing with PTSD, then he may also be a candidate for a PTSD service dog, IF tasks like grounding, room clearing, or perimeter would help her and he has the temperament to be trained for them.
@@shaylafeyi believe OP is was already training Thor to become a service dog and try to get him certified as her PTSD service dog 👍🏼 The SIL is full of bull and obviously never has owned a dog as she doesn’t understand the role Thor has in OPs life situation. Service dog/ pal/ snuggle bug by day and guard / protect dog by night. How I read this OP spends a lot of time training Thor and knows him like the back of her hand and trust him 100%. For me that would be enough satisfaction and rely on OP saying it’s okay for the niece to be around him and play like they did before. SIL should have more empathy and support for OP for what she has been through and still goes through instead of staying away and “punishing” her for having a hero dog which saved her life ( probably) Sad really 😓
Actually, it's most dangerous during/after a breakup. That's when abusers get murdery, which is why police should take this way more seriously than they do.
It's honestly really scary. I have an ex (lots of us do) who pretended to be a sweetheart and then turned into an abusive monster. I managed to get out safely and he moved to California so we've been pretty far away but for the first 3 years (we only dated a handful of months) he reached out to me on a few different Facebook/ Instagram/ email accounts I ended up changing my name so I'll be harder to look up 😅 When we were together he had a friend follow me and keep tabs on me so I've been looking over my shoulder ever since 😢 Always just hoping he forgets about me entirely
Some people CANNOT deal with being broken up with. It's a control thing. Not just romantic partners but former friends/abusive family/etc. It absolutely sucks.
I have an abusive ex stalker cyber crime stuff going on, AND another stalker that i worked with....over 30 years ago. Never dated. There's something mentally wrong with them. They believe they are entitled to some kind of "relationship" with you.
They can't believe it's over. Like, literally *can't* believe it; it doesn't fit into their world view, and they can't grow out of that. "You are MINE and no one else's." The harder you try to get away, the more desperately they clutch and cling and try to latch on again. And sometimes as they spin mentally, they get unbalanced, and into "if I can't have you, I'm going to make sure that no one else ever can." Or "my life is over, and I'm taking you with me."
Honestly I had two reactions to that story: 1 Those guys need to be put away immediately and forever, what kinda next level psychopathy is this 2 Tell me that you live in the States without telling me you live in the States. Are y'all ok?? How do you live somewhere that basically feels like an active warzone???
As a behaviorist, I can confirm that Thor's behavior doesn't at all indicate he wouldn't be safe around children. I'm so glad she has him. She could get him Canine Good Citizen certified to show he's safe to be around kids. I'm a single female who lives in the middle of nowhere with no visible neighbors, without a landline, and leave my door and windows open all the time. Don't own a gun either. However, I also run a small animal rescue, and I have 6 dogs of my own as well as fosters coming and going. Currently I'm at 9. My concern about people breaking in isn't what would happen to me but what I'd do with the body... Edited to add that I specifically work with behavioral issue dogs, and while everyone is generally friendly, they are absolutely the “find out” kind of dogs.
I have a picture in my head of a burglar breaking in in the middle of the night turning around and seeing nine sets of glowing eyes all glaring at them and the burglar immediately leaving again
12:15 This girl needs to have her family behind her, supporting her. What’s wrong with her brother? Why is he silent about what his sister went through? SIL is a hard, rude, uncaring person.
My thoughts too. If that is the sil and not her own sister...why is her brother not telling his wife: Hey, it is my child too! Do you really think, I would tell my sister to bring her dog, if I thought there was a chance of the dog hurting my child? But obviously he isn't capable of that. So he has issues too I guess and seems a bit like he got himself married to a narc.😢 But that's just my hunch
I disagree. My brother has a family and I was on my own and needed supoort, but he refused because he had to support his family first. And guess what... I survived. I have a great life now and me and him are on great terms. You don't actually need support from your family for personal issues. In fact, I feel a lot of family drama comes from people being too codependent to their family after they leave the home, not realizing it was time for them to create their OWN family and support system with new friends who will understand them better.
Being concerned for the safety of your child does not negate caring for your adult sibling. Children's needs should always come first. Expecting people to "support" you to the detriment of themselves and the people they're responsible for is not healthy.
@@angelicambyence yes maybe it could be viewed as "he refused" but was it not more of a situation of not being able to give something you don't have? It's like putting the oxygen mask on yourself first in an airplane emergency and not lighting yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
Second story: sister isn't going to understand until something happens to her. There's nothing you can do. Cut ties and move on. You can explain it to her, you can't understand it for her
I believe that story has a contuinuation Dustin didnt cover. As I remember it, for some reason SIL didnt actually know the full story and all she was aware of was that the dog attacked someone. As soon as OP actually explained what happened,SIL apologized and accepted OP and her dog
It's not even that she doesn't understand, it's that she doesn't want to. But you're right, people like that should be avoided at all costs, if she reacts like that for a situation like OP lived, I'm afraid to see how she acts for others.
Getting a restraining order is, generally speaking, extremely difficult. The burden of proof for victims is honestly ridiculous. Especially considering how actively useless restraining orders often turn out to be.
You're absolutely right, but it's still worth the pain in the tail in getting one. There's a trail of evidence behind you if anything happens and you (or Thor!) need to defend your household.
It's impossible to make a restraining order to work because of the irony. A restraining order only works on people who wouldn't want to bother you, which defeats the purpose of said order.
yeah. I had a stalker. It's REALLY hard to do anything to make them go away, until/unless they attack you. Mine followed me across state lines just to terrorize me. Nothing to be done. I got a restraining order, but he just ignored it. Nothing was ever done, but with me living so far away, he was relegated to harassing me online or by phone every now and then for years before it dissipated. I feel for her. I should have gotten a "Thor".
8:59 emotional support animals DO NOT have the same rights as service animals, they are not allowed in all places service animals are, people need to get that through their heads
Thor genuinely deserves a medal. That dog is not only a rescue, but alerted his owner first, only attacked when there was CLEAR danger, and retreated when the danger was gone. He saved her life and is well behaved around everyone. SIL has no right to jump to the conclusion he’s dangerous just because he saved OP’s life, when they’ve literally had the dog around the kid before. The fact they won’t even come over if she agrees to crate him? That’s fucking crazy to me. SIL needs to reevaluate the situation, because that dog should NOT be punished for saving his owner when she was in obvious danger. He’s such a good boy.
oh my god every large dog is dangerous around kids. Dogs are ANIMALS. Even the best trained dog still isn't socialized like a human. FFS there are actual human beings, with technically higher reasoning, that hurt kids as "retaliation" for having their peace disturbed.
She may not have a right to make assumptions about the dog, but she absolutely has the right to decide who is allowed around her child. The crate part is indeed stupid though.
@@Angela-gd3cj I never said otherwise. Just that the dog that they have PREVIOUSLY LET THEIR CHILD AROUND shouldn’t be suddenly considered dangerous for saving Op
My dogs are very friendly, but when a guy started following me in town while I was walking them at night, once I felt uncomfortable my dogs turned and barked at the guy like aggressively. They don't usually do this, they did it because they felt my heartbeat go nuts and could smell that I was uncomfortable. It doesn't mean my dogs aren't safe around humans, just means you better not attack me😅🤷🏼♀️
I used to dogsit for the family of my sister's friend, who owned a Rottweiler that had known me since he was literally a puppy. Absolute unit of a sweetheart when he was full-grown. There was an occasion when his family was on vacation and I was taking him on a walk about dusk- it was getting dark and a couple of older guys decided it would be fun to start making comments about the teenaged girl walking by. They shut up REAL FAST when this giant pupper peered around my legs and started growling at them. Dogs are the best. ❤
@silvergryphon5858 they really really are the best! I had a foster once who nearly took the face of some bloke who was hammered and trying to get into my house. This dog was also usually the friendliest dog! ❤️
Her sil could put that child in the front yard with just Thor and go inside and she would still be the safest kid on the block. He knows who is who! Protective breeds are smart, they know friend and foe.
Protection Orders do nothing to stop someone from getting to you...I learned this first hand. A man assaulted me at work and I got a PPO against him and found out he had a long history of assaulting women, stalking, and damaging property. He was currently involved in a case where he had a knife and threatened a woman who lived near my place of work. After the PPO he would park in the parking lot and wave at me then leave before the cops could get there. Then a couple weeks later the police told me he had rented a motel room just a couple of blocks from where i lived. He ended up in the hospital with 2 broken arms and 2 broken legs so I took advantage of him being gone, got a new job and moved away. The police could do nothing during this whole thing because they couldn't catch him breaking the law so some womans husband or boyfriend, or someone else he angered, made it so i didn't die. Thank you to whoever did
1:20 "a truckload of problems"? Does he mean her stating boundaries? I've had a stalker that went to jail for his actions. These people are absolutely dangerous. the red flags are not "cute" or "look how much they care." It WILL escalate.
Statistically, it’s just as likely the woman herself will end up arrested for calling the police, especially in domestic abuse situations. And god forbid she’s got some mildly illegal situation from unpaid parking tickets to a joint hidden in her underwear drawer. Police hate these calls because they can’t tell what’s happening, know that gettin involved will take forever and (for DA) sometimes ends in both people turning on them. So they don’t try to play therapist and unravel the truth, they just take someone away and end it.
I didn’t report a rape because I’d willingly walked into the apartment and, because I knew I would come across as unhinged compared to a calm, logical, safe-looking professor of Russian Literature. My mother had died weeks ago during COVID so I’d never said goodbye or even had a real funeral yet, and I knew that I looked like the stereotype of a drug addict. So he got away with it. I feel so guilty because he was psychopath-level good at seeming like a safe, respectful, calm academic…and then as soon as I’d put my purse and keys down (out of reach) he knocked me unconscious. It was the pain of what was happening to me that brought me back to reality in the middle of the assault. He had taken my keys and cell and only gave them back when everything was over, suddenly seeming like Mr. Responsible again. Like two different people. But I was so ashamed and scared that I didn’t do anything except develop become more dependent on tranquilizers until I finally checked myself into rehab.
@@susanfalco4252I'm so sorry for what you went through. If the statute of limitations is still open, please consider coming forward. men like that are often repeat offenders. He may have other victims.
i got told by the police when trying to report my stalker that ‘these guys think they’re good, but we’re better’ yet all it took for them to call it quits was the fact that he was texting me from one of those apps located over seas that gives you a fake number. and he didn’t have any prior complaints against him, so he must not actually be a threat. ‘you should just start taking a different route home and watch your surroundings’ absolutely fucking useless
As a professional dog trainer who breeds and trains protection dogs, Thor's behavior is in no way a threat to the child he already knows. Dogs recognize familiar individuals. A dog attacking a home invader is no different than a person doing it. It's exactly the same kind of scenario as if she had shot the stalker herself. Thor didn't snap. He engaged in territorial defensive aggression in a scenario with an aggressive assailant that the dog does not know. Guardian dogs are not dangerous to anyone who is not a threat. Thor sounds like an excellent example of his breed and I would be thrilled to have such a dog in my program.
True. Of course you should always be watching when a dog interacts with the children in the family. But like you said, that the dog defended his owner in a really dangerous situation don't mean that he's a danger to family.
12:06 her brother can also state it as well. Honestly that thinking is very dangerous from the sister. Her kid will pick up on it and internalize it as well.
So this was actually an interesting topic that came up. My best friend rejects men SO coldly, makes me feel bad for them for even approaching her. I on the other hand, will entertain the attention and then just block them the next day. Of the two of us, I FEEL I am the cruel one. Giving false hope to men interested in dating and then leaving with no explanation. However, it has come out of experiences of being cornered, harrassed, and threatened for saying no. As a woman, it is TERRIFYING to reject a man.
The major difference between the two or more sexes is that one will just not talk to you, the other will try to hurt you for not talking. I understand the fear
@@MrAntiKnowledge Its wild. For us (men), the pain of the rejection is the part that sucks. For ladies, questioning if that might be her last breath is the fear. Because some of these dudes are beyond emotional, but their egos cant handle that fact. They have to prove that theyre macho men, and then snap on the person whos made them feel all these feelings (feeling is anti-alpha). Sure, for someone whos tapped into reality, its nice to get a clear response. But its a coin toss on if we're actually a normal dude, or a complete psychopath. Im off the dating market, but i feel for everyone trying to navigate it. Its scary out there.
@SeageSpeaks The really wild thing is that, for some of us, it's both. I've been rejected plenty of times, and it hurts. No one likes rejection. But I also know that if I reject a man, he can suddenly snap at any moment. Best case scenario is he starts a barage of texts/messages calling me ugly, fat, bitch, etc. I block him and he goes away. I'll take rejection, any day, over the emotional abuse! I wish emotional intelligence, emotional regulation, and regular therapy sessions were mandatory classes throughout our formative years in school. Too many broken adults out there causing trauma to others because they can't handle being rejected.
@@mimsydreams Fairrrr. Its a minefield out there. I left this comment on an instagram post a while back, but i was basically saying on it that its actually so hard to hold terrible people accountable, because they don't show it around anyone that would or could check them. I was saying that predators and the like, will keep that stuff under wraps until they're around a victim or with others of their kin, then they let it out. But if you're not like them, the chances of you finding out about that side of them, unless they snap and let it out, is slim to none. So the folks that ARE out there being regular human beings and actually looking out for their peers, they might run into a situation where they witness this type of thing once or twice. But for the most part, they'll be living in bliss because they're a natural threat to insecure babies with rage issues, and your general mill of perverts and offenders out there. It makes it much harder to deal with them. When you teach people not to do terrible things, you DO get through to the ones that you were always going to get through to. They take it, process, understand. But some....some of them know, but do the opposite anyways. They know its wrong, which is why they slink around. Some of these people can be taught tho, therapy can fix some, general lessons from REAL influential teachers and parents and guardians. Friends who act right, etc. But there will be ones who act like they get it too, and they slip through the cracks. They will always be a danger.
This is creepy. I had my mailman ask me out. I am always polite with him and chat for a bit, but in no way have flirted or said anything that would make him think I am interested. I tried to avoid saying directly no bc , I mean he knows where I live and it could get awkward. So I just kinda let it hang there. A few weeks later he said he booked a cave hike (in the middle of nowhere) for us to go on?!! I lied and said I was dating someone and I can not go with him. Since then he is still my mailman. But DUDES, think about how creepy that is. Like why would I want to go anywhere with someone I do not really know. What in this mans mind was he thinking? I let my neighbors know just in case I ever go missing. He still chats me up regularly and has not crossed a line, and it has been over a year, but still creeps me out. This is why women choose to be bitchy bc when we are nice men creep us out.
It's just that extra bit of creepy that he booked the hike without asking you first. Why do some dudes think they can plan a date without actually asking the other person about it? Even if it seems like a sure thing, you always want to ask to check for availability.
That dog knows her neice is part of the family. She will be well protected as you were with the dog. My stepmom had a German Shepard when I came to live with my dad and her. He understood and went everywhere with me and was my babysitter. Everyone loved him, and he loved kids as long as he was on watch we were safe. My dad wasn't even allowed to spank me. Lol. The dog wouldn't bite but hold his arm back till he let me go.lol. The only time he went after someone was that they slugged me in the back. I called his name, and he never actually got her but did scare the daylights out of her and chase her away.. Lol. I should have listened to him when he wanted to stop me from going on a swing, too.. I tied him up, and sure enough, I fell and split my head on a rock . He knew better. Your dogs reaction to you is that he knew you were in danger. I doubt your neice is threatening you.
My dog is half german shepherd and half rough collie, which can also be protective. He barks at whoever is the one smacking. I'm his owner that raised him and if I'm the one playfully hitting someone he barks at me. He does not like violence at all. He stands in between my moms cats to make sure they don't fight lol, or will bark at strangers if the parent trying to pull their child from a playground l, or if he thinks anyone is being aggressive. Best dogs
We have a German shepherd, she's the sweetest girl ever. Our daughter had a splinter so we were trying to remove it, but she was scared so started crying. Our dog simply walked over, pushed herself between us and our daughter, sat down, and just wagged her tail. Just a very simple "I don't know what's going on but the small one is upset with you so I'll just sit here." Another time, the dogs were out in our fenced in back yard. It was winter so I had on a hoodie and I pulled it all the way up over my head to go out to look for something in the garage. When I opened the door and walked out, the dogs hadn't heard me. They noticed me as I started walking and our GSD froze, looked at me a moment, then started stalking forward. I pulled the hood back and yelled "It's just me!" She stopped, looked at me a second, then started wagging her tail and pranced over happily. I feel well protected with her around!
My German Shepherd mix doesn't like it when my sister disciplines her son. Literally just picking him up off a windowsill when she told him to get down and he wouldn't, not even hitting him and causing physical pain and psychological damage. My sister and I say we'd trust my dog with children, but not with their parents.
This is exactly why I have a pitbull. They are the sweetest, most loving babies, but they look scary enough to make an intruder pause and maybe even leave. I've never had problems with aggression. As long as someone is welcomed into our home they understand that the person is a friend. The last one i had was 90 pounds of love, but I'm sure if someone would have tried to hurt us he would have stepped in and tore them up. We sadly lost him earlier this year, and we've got another pitty puppy now. I hope that lady ignores her sister and keeps her hero pup. Thor is a good boy.
That's a really good sponsor. You're doing a good thing here, preventing people from starting relationships that will only go one way. You can have who you want sponsoring you for that alone. There's nothing wrong having a sponsor, it's better for us than constant adverts and has to be better for you as a creator. I'm glad you got the system, it must have been really scary being so close to a drive by. ❤🇬🇧
Thor story. The thing about dogs is that they know who and who isn’t a threat to their people. The stalker? A threat to Thor’s person. A literal toddler? Not a threat. Might even be of even more importance since dogs understand how important children are to humans! My uncle and his wife recently had my cousin, and their dog Mojave barks at anyone who approaches my baby cousin.
They also have a good situational awareness and would react differently to person showing up at your house in the middle of the night and a toddler they take as family in the bright daylight, visiting.
My nana had a Yorkshire terrier that they'd have to shut away when the midwives and nurses came over to see me, she'd get too rowdy with them, she was tiny but filled with protective fury 😂 She would sleep in my crib (it was the nineties) and keep guard all day, I never once heard her growl as a toddler or child ❤
Sure, tell that to all the babies, toddlers, and children who have been mauled by dogs unprovoked. A baby is no threat in any circumstance, but dogs are animals, not angels. They kill and maim just like any other animal. Witnessing dognutter apologetics in real time makes me sad.
@@HaizeyWings I’m not talking about all dogs, I’m just saying in some cases dogs may be more protective of their owners kids. I’m not saying to leave a dog unattended with a small child, but yes, maulings happen.
@@HaizeyWings We're animals...he protected her against a murderous stalking animal. That has no causative connection with "bad dog hurt poor baby human"
12:13 as someone terrified of dogs, I think it's insane not to come when the dog will be in a carate and can not reach you. Like come one! U gonna stalk her? No? Then Thor doesn't pose a threat to you. Op needs support and love not silliness
Woah woah woah, hang on Sister In Law- when a dog "snaps", the word "snaps" is usually in reference to a sudden attack out of the blue towards someone they should know. This dog did not know this man who was STALKING YOUR HUBBY'S SISTER, saw that he was BREAKING INTO THE HOUSE WITH ILL INTENT, and PROTECTED HIS MASTER. He knows you, your husband, and your little girl, and knows that none of you would hurt his owner. Thor _is_ a hero, it honestly sounds like you just want a reason to keep your daughter away from the dog, who has always been friendly with her in the past, and im sure your four year old loves Thor as much as Thor loves her.
I think creepy people should have to have a tattoo on their forehead as a warning. Part of their sentencing. More people need to press charges and follow up, but that's also terrifying. 😔
Yeah the idea is great but who is to deside whats is creepy and what is not? If it was up to typical Stacey from your school you would likely had one yourself.
@user-pt1cz4ot1e 💯 I agree!!! Seriously darlin, go ask 10 women you know if they ever went to press charges, and what happened when they went to the police station. The police Act like Brock Turner the rap.ists dad, lawyer, and school did: "You must be wrong and if you're not you're misremembering it, and if you're not, why are you going to ruin a good boys life over this??" 🙄 Completely invalidating the trauma of the person who's life is actually malaffected. Unfortunately 99% of the time the police won't do anything until they actually hurt you. And then they ask why you didn't report, which is why it's always important to write down what officer you talk to, what time, and exactly what they said. Everybody stay safe out there!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
@Steir12 darling I'm going to respond as if you're not trolling since I don't know if you are or if you're just being cynical, and I'm a benefit of the doubt type of person! 💖✨️ Stacy from high school will not have any evidence or proof or Witnesses if she made it up. However we're talking about people who are in situations exactly like the guy in the story, which is why I'm questioning if you're trolling or not, because only a truly insane and unhinged human finds nothing wrong with what the stalker did in the video, having a trunk full of murder kit and being saved from her ex by her big old puppy . Even the second one with the ex sending people to women's houses at 1:00 and 2:00 in the morning. False allegations are so rare, far, and few between, that the only ones you hear about are from celebrities, where the media can play it up to get people watching. I want it to have a jail sentence for any woman, or man, or otherwise, falsely accusing someone of g-rape or stalking to the point of being scared for your life. I would also like all of the people who have to go through this, regardless of gender, be taken seriously by both society and the cops. We need to have actionable change solutions to address the piss poor system that has DECADES of g-rape cases untested all around the United States I also really want our men to step it up and support other men who are victims. I can't stand the typical response when a man reaches out for help or is in the news for being a victim 😭😡 It's disgusting, there shouldn't be teasing and acting like he's a wuss for reporting a literal crime. We all know we have a broken ass system, I just wish more people would support reform on so many issues. Because right now everybody is okay with just sitting by idly as it stands, ruining people's lives. 💖💖💖💖💖💖
Side note, everybody really really really really really needs to come together and agree that we can hate each other later, we need to - add term limits to every position, - age ceilings just like we have our age floors for every position, - and we need to get rid of lobbying!! Dude seriously can you imagine how many things we could get done and how quickly things would change if corporations couldn't just legally bribe their will and whim into law!?
I've been a dog owner for over 25 years, and I've known a lot of people who are afraid of dogs. This is not the behavior of someone who is afraid of dogs. That's the behavior of someone who dislikes dogs. They may ALSO be afraid, but fear doesn't prompt this kind of behavior.
Unfortunately this kind of treatment isnt uncommon for bully breeds like american bulldogs (I've worked with them before as a volunteer) If Thor had been a g-shep or labrador I bet the response would have been much different, but people have such a messed up view of bullies even when they do nothing wrong or do something heroic like Thor did (you see headlines sometimes of pitbulls still being painted as antagonistic after biting a home invader) Its an unfair stigma caused by dog fighting circles and poorly trained bullies being handled by people who dont know what theyre doing or intentionally try to keep them untrained and aggressive Thor absolutely earned his name as a little warrior of Valhalla and the SIL needs to address her own "scary dog" bias enough to understand what Thor did was a good thing since if he hadn't jumped in and acted SIL would be going to op's funeral instead of having a stupid argument over a dog who did nothing wrong
Not to mention that head shape is so distinct and dominant- If the dog is even slightly a pitbull breed (forget the name of the grouping) you can tell, and it's gonna be mentioned Also it seems dumb people will see any amount of bulk and say it's a pitbull 😅 Idk I'm just sick of their bad rap. The bad reputation makes people nervous around them, which can make the dog more reactive. And that bad reputation means they're a "cool guy" dog to have, and a jackass who just got a pitbull to look tough is not going to end well. It's a vicious cycle we need to break. Three cheers for Thor, he protected his momma and came right back to comfort her!
My neighbors have multiple dogs, but the oldest one is a pitbull that is so sweet. Her name is Diamond, and I'd trust her with children. I've never seen her being mean or anything. She's incredibly sweet. ❤️ She's not trained to be a service dog, I don't think, but she takes such good care of her mom, who's disabled. She's such a good girl. Even when she licks my hand she's gentle. 😊
German shepherds also still have that stigma, because they're frequently used as police dogs, which are not as well trained as cops would have you believe. They're known to fatally attack vets, dog groomers, civilians, and civilian dogs. Same with Belgian malinois, but most people think they're german shepherds because they have a similar look. I think you mean "g. retriever or Labrador."
@@Br0nto5aurus I've had German Shepherds, an Akita, and bully mutts. I have to disagree with you. People were more afraid of my 60+lb bully mutts than the "G. Sheps," to the point that strangers would come up and pet the 100+ lb long haired Shepherd. He looked huge. Same goes for my parents' huge long haired mixed breed with a shepherd shaped head. People adored him on sight, and he was huge and looked most like a shepherd. But our submissive bully got kicked out of the dog park when another dog attacked her and got other dogs to join in. My husband kept her from getting hurt, and she was actually pretty calm about it, but the people there treated all of us like we were the problem.
11:45 "I've already suggested that they come over and I crate Thor, but that wasn't good enough for her." WHAT??? That woman's sister in law is completely 100% unreasonable. Period. If someone doesn't want to be around a dog (FOR ANY REASON) putting the dog in a crate (or in a separate room, or in the back yard) during that person's visit has ALWAYS been a complete solution to the problem. I've heard of owners not wanting to temporarily imprison their dogs, but I've never before heard of crating the dog not being good enough for the other party??? Seriously, that SIL is ridiculous! :P
My car does the "im driving" response too when I get texts while driving and its connected to Bluetooth. The amount of ppl who think im the one who is being sassy... Is WILD and get immediately offended that im trying to end a convo or anything like that.
@@Luke-f4i oh no doubt! When I was still in the dating pool before I met my current partner, that was always kind of a litmus test for men who were courting me. Depending on how they would respond, they may or may not ever hear from me again with that! So in a weird way, I can thank my car for helping to weed out those "nice guys" who aren't actually nice.
9:41 What a good boy!!! Give our hero Thor everything he wants!! (In moderation, of course; most dogs aren't great at self control and portioning when it comes to yummy food. )😆
I had a thief almost break into my home while I was there, and the trauma had me locking everything down like an armed baracade in times of war. It took me 3 full years to calm down. He never laid a hand on me. He truly never crossed the threshold, but I still jumped at anything that sounded "off". I can't imagine what the person trying to recover from a stalker is dealing with. I am also very cautious about certain breeds of dogs. Our rescues are absolutely FULL of dogs that are mixed with those breeds who were never taught basic obedience and in many cases abused/neglected that were given up or taken from their owners so I truly have some understanding of both sides. If the owner of the dog is even offering to crate the animal, then surely there is a compromise that can be reached. Depending on the breed (I know it's a mutt but I mean the visible traits) I might not be comfortable with my 4 year old hugging or laying on the dog but this is not a feral animal so I wouldn't have an issue spending time around Thor.
I did understand where the SIL is coming from, and was feeling sympathetic for both ladies until she said crating Thor isn't even good enough for the SIL. I don't think you can get through to someone like that. At some point in her life she learned a dog who bites once will bite over and over again and kill children. Whatever trust she had in Thor is gone. But, offering to crate the dog should solve the situation. At this point it feels like she thinks the op's emotional response to being attacked is "being too dramatic" or something along those lines. I feel like a conversation is not going to unpack everything that's happening in SIL's head.
Exactly I feel for both actually she came off nasty but I understand her fear. Also I think people need to realize that people have a right to not allow animals in their house, I feel for it but I can't have animals in my house that aren't my pets because I am severely allergic to dogs. Tricky situation I think people are judging the SIL worse than she deserves, but I definitely am glad the dog saved her and that she is okay at the same time.
@@RosettaAllen Nah, SIL is more or less telling the victim to gtf over the house invasion, who was obviously going to kill her, SIL sounds like she has no empathy or sympathy for what she went through, SIL has managed to make it all about herself.....
@RosettaAllen ok but if they don't want the dog there then they don't need to be pitching if she doesn't come over. They don't want the dog m, she doesn't feel safe without the dog so there you go they don't get to see her either. Sil is dumb, I have no understanding at all. Dogs like that are trained to save their owners life and in the same breath save children. Her fear is illogical and now they have lost their babysitter. Oh darn did I say that out loud cuz I bet she is also often the babysitter. They sound self centered and now that they lost free babysitter they are pissy. Oh well
@@ramshacklefarm9957 everything you said, I didn't even see it from the angle of babysitting - that makes sense. I still think the SIL is trying to make it about herself.
@@RosettaAllen Nah, I don't think the SIL is being judged too harshly. I completely agree that people should not be expected to allow animals in their home. You have a good reason for it, but I don't think anyone needs a reason to say no. I never ask to bring my dogs, because I know they bring dirt, fur and and have claws that can damage floors. I have a no smoking and a no shoes rule, and the no dogs rule is just as valid. However, service dogs, or dogs functioning like service dogs, are different. Unless there's a legitimate reason, like clashing medical needs, it's not okay to say no. In this case, the SIL isn't really being judged for not allowing Thor, she's being judged for dismissing a victim's experience and trauma. She's also extremely ignorant when it comes to dog behavior, and clearly not willing to learn, even when it's this important to her family.
8:07: it does warrant a restraining order, but unless the stalker violates that order, and you have comprehensive proof, there’s not much police can do. likewise, to even obtain one, there needs to be credible threats to your safety (a threat of intent to harm, attempts to harm, etc.). as a stalking survivor myself, they don’t do much.
I say Thor needs a big T-Bone and sis probably needs something a little different. My service dog alerted to my house being set on fire ( fires had been set at both exits) and saved my life. He was there when the only family close to me was the person responsible for the fire. Its weird that some people cant accept it but for my dog Jax he eats well and truly is my best friend. Hes excellent at seeing through peoples BS and i trust his gut feeling like my own.
We had an American bulldog when I was a teen. He was such a good dog that 30 years later we still talk about what a good dog he was and so do my parents neighbors. He was extremely intelligent and caring. He saved my mom twice. She took sleeping meds so would sleep through anything. She left a candle burning on her dresser by accident and when it burned down till the wood caught fire, he dragged her out of bed and out of the room. She also slipped and fell into the river while wearing a backpack full of towels on the way to the swimming hole, and again, he dragged her out before she could even stand up. She probably would have been fine without him that time, but not if she'd hit her head. When my oldest son was about 2, my parents thought he was with me, I thought he was with them and when we realized he was nowhere to be found, we realized the dog was missing too. Not much later, my son came running home from the direction of the river crying with the now old and arthritic dog mosying beside him. The back of his sweatshirt was wet and had teeth marks. I asked what happened and he said,"Ozo wouldn't let me play in the water." 😭 He loved most people and other animals, but one time my brother's friend was over and went outside for something and tried to come back in. The dog wouldn't let him in. He was growling (and a 130 lb brindled bulldog is terrifying I'm sure!) And had him backed up against the door. He wouldn't even back off when we we told him to, he wanted that guy gone. We had to make the guy go back outside and try knocking. Once he did that and we let him in the dog let him in but kept giving him the side eye like ok, but I don't trust you. A few months later that guy was arrested for several counts of B&E/theft and violence on the last one where he got caught. Smart dog.
I’m so, so glad y’all are safe after that shooting-what a terrifying situation!! After recently subscribing to her channel and absolutely bingeing her content? I am so glad you & Kendra have each other. You’ve had THE BEST vibes since posting your first few Flag Guy videos & I’m so glad you found one another.
It doesn’t have to be this way. We teach men to feel entitled to women, how to abuse them, and that the penalties will be slight if they hurt them. These 3 things need to change.
A father teaches them to be better, if you reproduce with one that doesn’t care to DEVELOP a boys mind, work ethic or character then this is what happens.
Agreed. I work with kids. 5th grade and the boys already hate girls and treat them like garbage. It’s so wild. They all live with their moms and grandmas but can’t translate the care they got to the gender that stuck around to raise them. It’s so wild.
Dude 😳 that kind if firepower against your poor neighbor is INSANE. Props to y'all for getting a system for your house. We love our SimpliSafe -- its always traveled well with us from rental to rental until we finally bought our home.
So I was in a similar situation as 8:20, was able to leave an abusive relationship but was getting 20+ calls, random drive bys and text messages from my ex. Tried to place a restraining order but was told 20+ calls isn't enough to place a restraining order, I have call back once its 100 or more. Law is incredibly unhelpful, I would have been dead or in hubbard house if family wasn't able to help me.
Me pausing at 1:47 because a human being sent flowers to the work place of a second human being and not just any human being, but the one you live with 👁👄👁
@lelduck6388 yo for real though like you literally LIVE WITH THEM??? At the very least, if you have conflicting schedules, you could just send them to the house??
@@Makeuplovecultureit’s a violation of their privacy. Most people want to keep their professional life and private life separate. A lot of people don’t like to be interrupted on the job/in work mode, which romantic gestures will do. People also typically can’t leave a job so if they can’t just up and leave if they’re uncomfortable. The gesture has a (typically) unintended side effect of saying “I know where you work and I am willing to interrupt that time”. So the recipient knows if the giver ever turns to stalking that their workplace will not be safe. It also lessens the emotional connection. The sender can’t immediately see the receivers reaction and the receiver will probably not feel as cared for if it was instead given in person. Send a gift to where someone will be instead of interacting with them to give it robs the gift of intimacy. It removes an immediate conversation about the gift. It would just be so much better to give them to her at home but I think he wasn’t brave enough to risk an in person rejection.
@@lelduck6388 well this seems a little extra and ridiculous. It’s flowers- not a helicopter in the middle of the building. And he knew where she worked probably because they are roommates. I’m not saying he didn’t turn out to be a weirdo, just saying flowers are not the problem.
For the 2nd story I might suggest asking the SIL what might prove to her that Thor isn’t a danger. I would also get the brother’s take on the issue for perspective (not putting him in the middle). It could be that the SIL has some anxiety of her own around Thor and is avoiding seeing him to avoid being anxious. In that case it’s a clash of needs between two anxious people and there may be baby steps both sides can take to reduce their respective anxieties. On the other hand it could be that SIL has a bias against dogs or bully breeds specifically and was waiting for an excuse to limit contact with Thor. This would be more challenging to overcome and might take more time. It takes a lot of good impressions to undo one bad impression. I feel for both sides. I hope things work out for them. I think it’s a real opportunity for them to have good conversations that could bring them closer together. It might provide a healthy conflict resolution model for the niece (depending on how old the niece is)
11:40 Unfortunately it sounds as though this person's SIL is jealous of the attention OP is getting. She doesn't care enough to empathise and only sees the opportunity to create even more horrifying drama
after casually dating someone who was a longtime friend for a couple months had run its course, we went back to just friends. suddenly i started finding packaging on my doorstep filled with letters, poems, vinyl records and photos of myself i didn’t know existed. then the letters appeared to not make sense and i couldn’t follow the narrative. after asking some friends to try and crack the code, we realized that they were written in a really peculiar way. At the end of a line he would skip two lines and finish that sentence there. We had to take highlighters in various colors in order to actually read it. and from that moment on, i realized that you don’t always know what people are capable of when triggered. 🚩
Unfortunately, in another update, the brother sides with the SIL. They seem to both invalidate OP's trauma, and SIL was cornered into admitting she had no reason to think crating Thor wouldn't be enough for them to visit with the niece
@@njorun1829 I feel like they're simply using this as proof to confirm their bias towards bully breeds (the type that often fall victim to "Pitbull laws") And both of them seem to lack empathy and compassion, so I doubt anyone can convince them they're wrong. Heck, Thor could save their daughter's life and they might still think he's a vicious animal.
@@nonexistingvoid You're probably right. I'm not a dog person, but I know there's a lot of biased options that aren't grounded in reality about certain breeds.
Worse, the daughter will never learn about dog safety and will assume that just because she doesn't know for a fact that the dog has bitten someone, the dog is safe. Teaching children to be wary of all dogs is so much more important than teaching them to fear dogs that react appropriately (and the same way any human would react: with lethal force) to an intruder in the night.
@@dshe8637 ??? Everything I found says they were bred for herding hogs+cattle or for utility use. Maybe breeding them to fight is more of a modern thing??? I don't think that's what any animal should be used for tho
Take Thor and SIL to a dog trainer. The dog trainer should be able to explain everything much better and even show SIL there is nothing to worry about. If that doesn’t work SIL is a lost cause.
Unfortunately, a restraining order does zero for protection. It's just a piece of paper. People break them all of the time and injur and/or kill the person. So, her learning to protect herself is the best thing, honestly. Btw, go Thor!!!
Im actually crying thinking about Thor! Literally one of the goodest boys to ever live. His protective instincts are on point and it really shows how appreciative and loving he is towards OP! 😭😭❤️
Restraining Orders: cops don't do restraining orders, courts do. Don't go to the cops to file for a restraining order, go to your municipal court's website or clerk.
Restraining Orders: A useless piece of paper not worth the ink used to write it. Go to your local gun dealer. Also, much better than any alarm system is a dog! You ever watch “Cops”? As soon as they are “ sending the dog in “, the criminal always gives up. Before wasting your time on that useless piece of paper, think about better deterrence.
So yeah… I don't know if you saw my other post but please contact a local trainer who trains peoples dogs to be proper service dogs. PTSD is a diagnosis that allows for service animals. It won't allow you to take your dog to your sister's house, but it will allow you to take your dog with you to the store and to work and any place else that you need to go.
Even if the dog attacked the stalker in defense, the attack would disqualify this dog from becoming a service dog most likely. Any reputable trainer would pass on providing training, so it would have to be owner/handler-trained which can be very hard to do. Doable, but very, very hard.
@@syenite It depends on the exact situation, as protection of an owner is not automatically disqualifying unless its a trained or repeat behavior, if 0 other situations have ever occurred where he's shown reactive tendencies, and if he's thourghly evaluated by a professional behaviorist, then most trainers Iv interacted with at least would be okay with working with him. A PTSD service dog's tasks are slightly easier than most to owner-train. The 'bomb proofing' so to speak would be the core issue.
I was stalked by a man and attacked in a crowded Walmart. No one stopped it. No one stopped him from walking out the door. The police came an hour later. They never followed up with me. I never feel like I can trust them anymore.
I just want you to know, you do an excellent job carrying people through learning these kinds of things. It's obvious you have done a lot of self-introspection and relating to the world around you in order to explore it! As well as have been through a lot. When learning about tough topics, it helps to have some levity to soften the engagement and help ground people. Also helps to have someone who practices speechcraft as you're doing. Pressure- and release! 10/10 - thank you for tackling green and red flags alike!
Pro tip: When addressing a stalker, DO NOT call them "my stalker" or anything of the sorts. This makes them think they're worth a damn and they'll keep coming.
Not at all important in this story, but just so y'all know: Emptional Support Animals do NOT have right to entry in private businesses, they are NOT a service animal and do NOT have the same rights as a service animal, and rightly so. Please don't take them into businesses, that causes SO many problems for disabled people with service animals. Thank you ❤
@@judithrussell9162 Except her intention is to STILL take her ESA into stores, knowing full well there's a difference between ESA's and Service Animals. So she deserves the reprimand.
Do you have anxiety attacks that leave you breathless and on the floor? That's why ESA animals are there. Don't blame the ESA's, blame the shitty people who try to pass off their dogs who are not ESA as ESA.
Good Lord y'all, read the damn room. "WELL 'acktchuallyyyyyy'- " She was almost kidnapped and dispatched by her ex how the fck do you think it's appropriate to say that right now?? She can't hear you, she certainly isn't going to read this page, and anybody reading TH-cam comments- is already well aware. Seriously, so gross and tone deaf. If her dog is well trained and it literally *kept her alive*, Ihave no problem with it, and I've trained my cardiac dog with military style precision- so OF COURSE she isn't going to have zero problem with it. Anyone whose dog isn't well trained and they are pulling them around as a service animal, seems to be a much bigger issue.
"Nice guy roommate" is already making my hackles raise before even hearing the story. Dear God, I cannot IMAGINE having a "nice guy" as your ROOMMATE. That would be TERRIFYING. Especially in this day and age where breaking a lease early could prevent you from renting decent housing for literal years. How fucking disgusting can a guy be to put that pressure on someone he's living with??? As for Thor, I'm gonna assume the SIL is one of those people who was already irrationally afraid of pit bulls and this is just an excuse to not be around the dog anymore. Truly sucks because this story should have made SIL trust Thor more, not less. He's a hero and a very good boy.
Dog story had an update. Several people brought up that can't they leave the niece with relatives (Who lived incredibly close) and come over. OP realised that while SIL had valid points, her SIL was also kinda just avoiding her. They had a proper talk (Thor asleep and snoring in the cage the whole time) and OP discussed that she understood their fears but really needed their support. Apparently, because OP doesn't really believe them, it seems Brother and SIL didn't realise how bad things were for OP. Because she wasn't telling everyone all the time how traumatized she was. Which, OP didn't want to do, people don't want to hang out with someone whose always talking about how horrible their life is. They agree to be more open and come over more often, and the update ends with OP talking about how they left Thor at home and drove around the neighbourhood all by themselves.
![fellow fellow - พรุ่งนี้ไม่มีใครรู้ feat. INK WARUNTORN [OFFICIAL MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QP6JyjYx_W0/mqdefault.jpg)
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Why is it always so funny when you run around with an oversized flag doing different hops, skips, trots, sayings, burns and qoutes?! My sides hurt! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Is your neighbor ok?
I’ve had SimpliSafe for a while now and it seriously sucks. I’m currently looking into better alternatives.
A female neighbour got attacked by three men at night while walking her dog. They pushed her from behind and she fell hard on the concrete. She didn't have time to react to the situation, and her dog, a one year old female rottweiler, came running to her and jumped a guy, latched on his arm and let go only when he ran away, then she ran back to her owner and circled around her until she got up and got back in her building. She was not trained, rottweilers are very protective, especially females. I met this dog, she is super friendly with humans and dogs.
Rotties are wonderful dogs ❤
Similar to my cousin's late Cane Corso. They are really intelligent and protective.
Rottweilers can be fantastic pets if given the attention and training they need. Have met several some were wonderful, sweet loving and safe to be around. Unfortunately I have also seen the flip side of those dogs too. And there have been more of the unsocialized, untrained, "throw them in the yard to guard and ignore them type owners".. Sounds like your neighbor was one of the good owners. To bad they are in the minority when it comes to Rottweiler owners. Rottweilers, Doberman etc get a bad rap due to the lousy owners. I do not believe in bad dog breeds, I am a firm believer in the bad owners cause problems. Your story and and the difference in the same breeds action only confirm that to me.
Terrible story from Atlanta a few years ago, a young lady was stabbed in the park- she felt safe bc she had a large protection dog with her- they stabbed the dog and then killed her...happened to be the one area in the park the cameras were out- not sure it was ever solved- this is in the last 5 years- i lived 15 min from the park
Cane Corsos are power houses too
Dog seems to be trained correctly, he alerted his owner before attacking, read the situation, only attacked when it was clear he and/or his owner was in a dangerous situation, and retreated when the danger was no longer present. He's a protective boy
Yeah, and he attacked just enough to make the threat run away (and more importantly, still be able to do this). If he'd gone to town on the creep it would have been a different story, but Thor used just the necessary amount of force for what he needed to do, which was to protect his lovely hooman. You da goodest boy, Thor!
A very good boy indeed
Indeed. What an excellent dog. The sister in law needs to learn ecen one thing about dog behavior.
I've had my dog for almost 10 years. He's the gentlest creature on the planet, cats and kids love him. He's basically a walking pillow. But one time I got followed by some creep for a few blocks and my dog snapped at him when he tried to touch me. I haven't seen anything like that from him before or since. Dogs can be so intuitive sometimes ❤️
The goodest boy ever!!! 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
Thor is a green flag. Poor girl. I'm so glad she had a guardian angel with her
SIL's reaction makes me think that she might be the one that cause OP to have to change her phone number 3 times. SIL isn't scared for her child, she wants to get rid of the dog so EX can get to OP.
@@bun04y Either that or the SIL is letting an "unsavory" person be around the niece and fears Thor will protect her from that person...or she just hates bulldogs and was just waiting for an excuse to ban him. Either way, SIL is a red flag, and Thor is 100% a green flag and a good boy!
@@bun04y I think you’re jumping to conclusions. Lots of people are scared of bulldogs or pit bulls. Dogs are animals, not humans. I understand the aunt’s apprehension because the dog has the capacity to do serious damage, and you can’t necessarily predict a dog’s behaviour the same way you can a family member’s behaviour. I’m a dog lover myself but I sympathetise with her
@@AutisticChristian Humans are animals. We don't like to think of ourselves that way, thinking we are better than animals. But, look at the EX, clearly many of us are not. And, looking at Thor, many of us are worse than animals. Thor protected his owner and himself when someone was trying to hurt her. If this woman had defended herself with her gun, would the SIL now think she was too unpredictable to be around her niece because she hurt someone? If not, why not? Thor has never hurt anyone until this incident; this was a unique situation that cannot be the baseline from which to judge his normal behavior.
And, if you scroll down, someone posted an update to the story. The SIL and brother were dumb, thinking that OP wasn't worried about the stalking incident. (Nevermind all the things she was doing to prepare to defend herself when things went down.) In the update, OP pretty much came to the conclusion that they don't want to be around her anymore because they don't know how to deal with the trauma she went through. So, instead of getting over their discomfort and supporting her, they are banning Thor (and ultimately her) from their lives. See? Humans are worse than animals. Thor defended his owner and had his own trauma over that - he sounds like a sweet boy who did something out of character to protect her - and he hasn't shunned her! He is still loving and supporting her.
It's crazy cause like if the husband did that would she say he isn't safe around kids?
5:18 a drive-by shooting with over 60 rounds at a woman's house because she didn't want to date someone!? That is disgusting behavior and it's a miracle no one was hurt. I hope your neighbor is okay and glad you and your girlfriend got some at home protection.
It's kinda weird though don't you think that 60 rounds fired into the neighbors house and they didn't immediately call 911? They waited until the next day to "call a friend"?
Sounds sus to me
They didn’t notice 60 shots and cops turning up with flashing lights? Do they live on a farm?
I just laughed out loud at.." you pissed off a Pontiac solstice" 😂
@@ChaoticAuthenticityIf they live in a country setting gun shots are quite normal and if you can't see anything you really don't call the cops.. if I were to call the cops Everytime a round of shots went off I'd be charged with calling 911 when there's noneed to. Dude sounds like he's southern so it's probably normal. I'm sure if he would've seen something he would've called. Getting a hold of someone on the department next day is pretty normal. Done it several times. Because while you weren't in danger or believed you weren't due to not seeing anything, you still would like to know what's going on. It's just the "joys" of living in the sticks with others near by
I'm glad you got home protection and am going to follow your link to check it out myself (probably won't be able to afford it). But I can't help but wonder if our security systems now have to include armored siding to protect from rounds of bullets cuz I don't see how cameras help anyone but the police trying to solve the multiple homicides afterwards.
18:35 not believing a victim because they used to be on drugs is disgusting. EVERYONE deserves to feel safe and be heard.
Ive been sober for ten years, thank you for saying this.
@Jessa-RM, you don't know me and we'll probably never meet, but I'm proud of you!!! ❤
It’s even scarier if an abusive ex stalks you and your kids. He looked for us for 10 years and found us a few times. I refused to let him get visitation and actually cut off family members who I thought would give him my information. It only stopped when he died and I’m embarrassed to say I literally did the happy dance when I found out.
Never feel bad for celebrating your freedom from abuse.
Signed,
A fellow survivor
Congratulations, may nothing but peace be in your future!
@@debraadams7164 Waited to exhale. Now I can breathe. 💙💜❤
It's not a trauma competition.
Someone else always has a worse experience, and that doesn't take from the individual pain and struggle - it's a big deal for victims to feel validated and supported, and it's paticularly cruel that you would belittle their trauma as another with similar experience.
You probably didn't intend to do this. I'm sure this topic woke something in you and it needed out, and I'm glad that you let it out.
I'm glad you got away and are safe. ❤
Don't be embarrassed! You were finally safe!
There's an update to the stalker story!
Basically OP had her brother and SIL come over for a sit down. They claim because OP hadn't seemed "all that worried" about the stalker situation they didn't think it was seriously affecting her (apparently getting a gun and taking self defense course wasn't enough of a clue). OP calls bs and lists all the things she's done in the last year to make herself feel safe again but doesn't press the issue further. As to the SIL, when OP questioned why crating Thor when they come over wasn't good enough she couldn't come up with a good reason and said that would work. OP isn't sure if they're actually going to continue seeing her as much or if they're going to come up with another excuse. She thinks they just don't want to be around her while she's going through something traumatic
Edit: the update itself is kinda long otherwise I would've just posted it here. There's more information in the update regarding how OP is doing/healing. I highly encourage you to look it up if you're interested in knowing all the details, I tried to summarize the parts with her brother and SIL since that's what I figured most would wanna know
First class jerks here. If I were in their shoes I would come visit with a 1kg box of treats for Thor
That's depressing.
Sad to say, OP is correct in thinking they don't want to be around her while she's dealing with the courts. They might be accomplices and helped her stalker find her.
I had my family do this to me. For some money, my own family gave my stalker (ex-husband) details about my life, whereabouts, and how to try to win me back.
I hope this isn't the case, but the fact they're now pretending to not know she was being stalked and supposedly ignored all the things she was doing to protect herself, makes me think they were helping him.
@incoporealmage294 it wasn't all bad. OP did mention that she does feel safer and she was able to drive around by herself for the first time in a year as well. It seems she's overall doing OK given the circumstances and she knows her brother/SIL are full of it
@user-wx1wn6po8p they weren't ignoring that she was being stalked, they were very aware of it. Op, like most people with stalkers, just wasn't outwardly expressing just how terrified she was so they didn't think it had gotten to the point it had till it was too late
Your experiences are clouding your judgment here
I had a stalker ex. Pre-internet, thank God. He tried to get a job where I worked, with no qualifications for a Fortune 500 company.. But he got in and told the HR person "She F--d all my friends." The guy threw him out, but I was so embarrassed. He kept sending letters with pictures which I tore up as I scanned the letter for death threats. I have brothers who threatened him. I had a new man (we're married 32 years now.) Stalker would call me at the crack of dawn (to be polite, he said, since the sun was up) To tell me things I should tell my married boyfriend (he wasn't married). We got engaged and bought a house. That seemed to end it. It's so frustrating to have a creep stalk you.
So thankful that it sounds like that whole ordeal ended for you ❤️ How scary!
There needs to be more done to prevent these creeps from being allowed to stalk women. What the actual fuck.
Having a stalker goes SO deep into your life. Can’t share things on social media. Can’t have a LinkedIn. Can’t share your face anywhere someone would find you. And you can’t even share “I have a stalker” with just anyone because you never know who the hell they know! It is exhausting.
This and the fact that you could have more than one. 😱
I have news for you all. While I’ve not been stalked, a member of my family is a cop and was working on a stalking case.
He spent a lot of man hours gathering evidence, including electronic messages etc. it took months and he was convinced he had an open and shut case. He went to the local DA with the victim and the DA asked what she wanted to happen. She wanted him to go to prison. The DA said, “ well that’s not going to happen”
My family member was so disgusted and angry. It ended in a plea deal and the stalker didn’t spend a day in jail. He had gone into her house, stolen her phone. None of that mattered.
Laws need to catch up with what is happening.
Sadly there is a level of crime that is legal in every city based on how many resources the police have. Anecdotally, the bottleneck is literally wherever the resources end after the biggest, baddest crimes are being handled. For example if your car is busted into in Dorchester MA causing hundreds in damage and hundreds more in stolen makeup (irrelevant but funny, in a church parking lot during a wedding) they will not do anything and be mildly annoyed you wasted their time. They're too busy dealing with crackheads in methadone mile and overworked to hell at that, trying to solve a hydra-esque problem.
So it's not really that the laws are broken it's that it's too resource intensive to enforce them. And depending on where you live, the level of crime that is unpunished may be uncomfortably high.
It could be the law but I put a huge amount of blame on the judges. They are all on the sides of the criminal.
@@Makeuploveculture like Brock Turner, the rapist, who has changed his name to Allen Turner
Absolutely agree, it needs to be seen as the serious and dangerous threat it is, and awareness and education in the public and law enforcement sector will help that. Sadly, LE is barely trained in it. But there is such a connection between stalking, harassment, coercive control and harm to ppl when it goes unchecked. Education, eyes on it, sunlight on the corruption, making those who are in the position to do something aware how we feel about it will help bring change.
BS like that is why I don't blame people who go full Jennifer Lopez from "Enough," when they feel the law won't be able to save them and any endangered loved ones.
Glad your relative had the proper reaction, but it's still vile how often stalker cases aren't treated seriously. My own dad had a creepy stalker ex who pulled some scary shit, so I don't care what some disconnected DA says. If they don't have the "resources" or ability to give a shit about the victims of stalking, that's gonna force many civilians to continue distrusting the system and needing to stay hyper-vigilant.
10:14 This woman does not understand animals. Everything OP says on “him snapping” is correct. He didn’t snap he defended his home and human. He read her fear and panic and acted appropriately. That’s a dog. A pack animal and team mate. Her daughter is safer with Thor there. He looks at her as part of his pack. If he doesn’t attack the mailman(a person many dogs see as invaders) he is good at reading the situation.
A very good dog.
Exactly! If anything, Thor has just proved that he can tell the difference between family/regular people and an actual threat.
I'd trust him MORE at this point!!!
Such a good boy 💗
dogs absolutely will "read fear and panic" if a small child suddenly starts crying or screaming next to them
@@windy8544 Except you're ignoring the part where this dog was around this child before, he understands the difference between a toddler crying or being loud, and his owner, who is normally calm, LITERALLY RUNNING FOR HER LIFE. Stop equating the situations.
@@windy8544 untrue, darling. Small children do have piercing cries, but humans cannot hear the differences that dogs can.
My niece used to squeak and dash away from her grandmother’s dog. And Caroline (the dog) would gleefully trot along with Allie (my niece). One afternoon, we heard Allie squeak from around the side of the house, while we were in the back. Caroline doesn’t trot over, she goes sprinting! Now, this is a Rhodesian Ridgeback with long legs. She can cover ground fast!
So, she goes sprinting past. I get up to follow, since Caroline doesn’t typically move that fast (she’s 12!) Allie’s mom (my cousin, but we call her kids our nieces) gets up when she hears me yelp in alarm. Allie had tripped, and fallen in the street. Caroline had heard the squeak was just different enough and knew Allie was in trouble.
Once we got Allie picked up, and treated the scrape on her forehead, Caroline would not leave her side!
To us humans, Allie’s squeak sounded like her playful sound. Caroline heard it as distress, and not play. Caroline was right!
Thor is totally a hero. I would absolutely let him around my son. My best friend’s dogs are a huge Pit bull and a Great Dane, and they’re amazing with my son and niece. They’re so gentle and protective of them. Nothing but love. Good boy, Thor! 😭🫶🏻
Pits are great. Until they aren't. Ticking time bombs.
@@LillyMarz777 Yeah but this dog has been going to classes and is well trained. Dogs are not the problem -- people who don't train them are. My friend has a Pomeranian who never barks and just likes to play -- insanely well trained dog.
@@LillyMarz777 no... just no. You could literally say that about any animal. Pitbull are no different than any other dog, they are not more aggressive by nature. Hell, given her experience having another man around is way the hell more dangerous than the freakin pitbull.
@@LillyMarz777 🙄
@@LillyMarz777Pits used to be considered nanny dogs, so no. They just need training and love like any other breed
Update on Story 2!
She apparently had a meetup with her brother and SIL and they amazingly claimed they had no idea she was having a hard time. They thought that since the stalker was in jail that everything was more or less back to normal and she was perfectly fine. She had been trying very hard not to be "that girl" that was always in crisis mode so she would play off how scared she really was, so as not to be a burden to others. She thinks that's why they thought she was unaffected, but she doesn't fully buy that as they knew she had bought a gun and went through self defense training. They apologized for being insensitive. She pressed them on why crating Thor wasn't good enough and SIL relented and said that would be fine; it helped that Thor was asleep the entire time they were there. She said that the paranoid part of her thinks that they just didn't want to deal with her while she was vulnerable and made up the dog excuse. They all seem to be on good terms now but she's not sure if it'll last, as of the latest update 4 years ago. She's relying on friends for support instead, but she was able to leave Thor at home and drive around the block alone. A lot of people in the comments are being really nasty towards her, which is probably why she stopped updating in my opinion.
I sincerely hope she's doing better and that her brother and SIL have pulled their heads out of their rear ends.
What? Why would they be nasty with her? :( That's so insensitive
@@Jupiter-T I think they're all just nasty people in general and taking out their issues on her for some unknown reason. But when do nasty people ever need a reason to be nasty? Sad lot, all of them in my opinion.
Her brother probably said something like "this is why she's still single" and his wife was like "all she does is reject guys then complain"
A human child's life is more important than a dog nutter thinking their dog has people rights. Ya'll are crazy.
@ashamane what are you talking about? OP never stated that she thought her dog had the same rights as a human and even stated that she didn't go into stores with him until fully trained. She also is not putting the child at risk as the dog only attacked when it knew there was a problem, most dogs would do the same. The dog also showed no signs of aggression before or after the incident. So either I'm reading your comment wrong/ misinterpreting it or you didn't pay attention to the story.
I am a survivor. My ex threatened me many times, and made a comment that if I ever had kids with another man he would unalive me and my child (we had no children). My now husband has been nothing but caring and protective, but I definitely still feel safer with a security system even 17 years later. When my son came home on the bus and that man was driving the bus, I had a massive meltdown and called the bus barn requesting that my child never be around him. Thank the heavens there was a monitor on the bus. I took so many extra precautions after that.
Hm being the bus driver is a horrible coincidence. What a fucked-up person
Me too girl ,me too❤
12:04 the SIL will not listen. I’ve been here before, people stupid enough to tell someone suffering from PTSD to get over it will also say a professional mental health provider is wrong. The only way to get them to stop is public shame.
She should shame the SIL because that's completely fucking disgusting and the fact that the brother doesn't stand up for his sister is even worse
@@Briar_Rose_92agreed. She's probably better off not having anything to do with them. If they can't support her then they shouldn't be part of her life. Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean they HAVE to be in your life or are good for your mental.health.
So what does SIL think Thor should have done? Sit like a good little boy while OP was abducted and murdered by her stalker? Sod That. She's acting like Thor's response was somehow unreasonable, and if she thinks that, she has the IQ of a rock.
Hey, don't insult rocks like that!
@@akaaru5581 I was just going to say the same thing
Nah, she just doesn't want to have to face someone with this sort of trauma and actually help... so much easier to pretend you're still a good person if you have an excuse for avoiding them instead. OP offered to crate the dog. It's not about the dog, (who is a very good boy,) at all.
not about THOR. SIL doesn't like her there from the start, or hearing that you had a living room full of blood makes her think that you might bring trouble her way, so this is an excuse to get rid of her, and the dog is a convenient reason.
I low-key think that the sister-in-law was in cahoots with the stalker.
Was your neighbor okay?! Was she (or anyone else) injured?
right? what a terrifying experience for both them and the neighbors 😳
I was wondering the same, it is a horrific story just because someone can't handle rejection. I hope the cops get the guy.
Yes she was okay! No one was injured thankfully. Sorry I should've clarified that a bit better. Another wild tidbit that I left out about that: my other neighbor actually got in his truck and chased the dudes down and got their license plate. He was the whole reason the cops were even able to make an arrest. Just a wild situation all around.
@@DustinPoynterVideos I'm SO glad to hear that she was alright, and thank goodness for your other neighbor! That was brave of him.
@@DustinPoynterVideos I hope you gift the chaser neighbor a pretty green flag tshirt!
when a new green flag video gets posted, i wait until the new red flag video so I can go watch it after as a lovely refresher on my faith in humanity
That's a good idea. 👍
That’s a good system!
@UnleashedRevolver
Wow. I thought I was the only one who did that. Cheers fellow green flag after red flag watcher
This was jarringly precisely my ..system
Love that!
12:10 if he gets out, she won’t be told unless the officers have time to do so. It happens so many times that perpetrators get out and victims aren’t told in the USA. Its scarier when you dont know wether to be on edge or not
That dog is her fur child!! Good dog!! I had a cat attack my ex when he broke in my house. She was 20lbs and her two brothers Norwegian Forest cats and one was 26 lbs and the other 22 lbs all 3 sent dude to the hospital for 4 days and 20 yrs in prison. !! Hooray for fur children who love you and know their assignment.
Cats: “We are related to tigers. We are as big as bobcats. Let’s get him!”
Love it!
@@mjjoe76 Exactly 😻😻🤣🤣😻😻😻😻
Cats can MESS someone up if they feel threatened, a truly pissed off, defensive cat is terrifying. Do not underestimate the amount of rage they can fit in such a tiny package (let alone a cat that’s almost 30 lbs, what a unit). Glad u were well protected!!
@ thank you… ya absolutely didn’t and wasn’t expecting for them to do that!! I am so glad they were there! I feed feral cats and I spay neuter find homes if they are friendly. I had two protect me about a week ago from a rotten Karen she was going literally attack me with my back turned didn’t even hear her coming!! So I feel blessed to have cats all around me!! You are amazing and must be a cat parent 😻😻😻😻 I bet your an awesome amazing grateful hooman who is owned by a cat 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🥰🥰🥰
When I was still in grade school I saw a cat jump on a person who was messing with her kitten. That Mamma Kitty was like fuzzy lightning & did some damage. It left a lifelong impression on me! Got my own cats now & take care of ferals, I'm glad I learned young to really respect them.
Anyone who has a dog knows full well that in a danger situation, your dog will voluntarily die trying to protect you, even if they're the most friendliest dog in the world - which almost all of them truly are. Thor is a good boy❤ he deserves lots of treats and snuggles for doing what he needed to do.
“There goes that man with the flags, again.”
“What exactly is he doing?”
“Idk. Maybe color guard?”
As a former color guard member, those silks would be a pain to spin/toss etc. That’s not to say we didn’t engage in similar shenanigans…
I was in color guard 😂😂😂💀💀💀
How was that for you@@ForeverMe543
The nice roommate guy doth protest too much. Anytime someone writes paragraphs passively aggressively justifying their actions, it's a Dustin Poynter-sized red flag.
even you are 100% sincere, if you have to explain your intentions to someone you make uncomfortable it is already too late. the best thing you can do for both parties..is nothing. don't explain, don't contact, change your routes to not run into them "by accident", get to no contact as soon as you can.
then make new friends, study something, pick up a hobby, go to the gym anything not involving the other person.
at the point someone says that you make them uncomfortable, there is no way back. if you see them in public a decade later, and they haven't seen you yet, go the other way.
Yeah, he kept changing gears, which does not exactly demonstrate sincerity. First it's "oh I didn't mean anything," then "how dare you reject my gift and my love," then "I won't leave and I want us to keep living together" like buddy. None of that is working. Look inward.
@@hockeygrrlmuse he was flailing around trying to find something that will work. there is no solution though.
he took a chance and it didn't work, so it's over. there is no road back from where he was.
respect her no and move out and let her live her own life. then live your own life and be happy and someone will come along who will find your happy life desirable and there you are!
The sad thing is, the flowers themselves were - not great, but if he'd just gone "ah shit, I thought it would be sweet but I didn't realize it would make you uncomfortable. My bad, won't happen again," the friendship would have been salvageable! But she set ONE (1) boundary, and he responded by vomiting a Wall Of Feelings at her all day long. Jeezy chreezy.
@@mariposakitten I think that could have happened; it's probably a coin flip, but if she did let it go he would then have to be conspicuous to never do anything even hinting at attraction again, and it doesn't seem like he had that level of self awareness or self control. on top of which, he didn't seem to want to go back to just passing by and existing in the same space.
they had two different ideas about how they should relate, so it never would have been a match. even if she let him stay, he would still be better off finding somewhere else to live for both of their sakes. no knock against either except to say: when you find out it's not a match, recognize it's not a match and move on.
6:39 okay but is your neighbor okay???
9:06 It’s really thoughtful of her to train her dog to make sure he doesn’t bother working Service Dogs, but Emotional Support Dogs are not protected by the ADA and you cannot bring them to pet-free businesses. Still you should always work with your pets so they can behave in pet-friendly businesses! (The only protection ESAs have under the ADA is your landlord cannot refuse you or your animal if their apartments are pet-free and they cannot charge you a pet fee.)
This!
All of this!
But yeah, I just want to shout out OP being a conscientious enough owner to be aware of how her dog could affect actual service dogs if he's disruptive.
ESAs are covered by the FHA, not the ADA and even then can be denied under very specific circumstances.
Yes they can enter. Atleast where I live.
Your SIL is a jerk. Where, WHERE is her sympathy?!?!
Talk to your brother and then therapist to see if they'll explain it to her sense self. If this doesn't work, oh WELL. Say goodbye to SIL. You do NOT need someone like this in your life, especially with where you are emotionally and physically. ❤ I'm so sorry that her idiocy is making all of this worse!!
like that is a good doggy! cute doggy aww
That pup saved their owner from a strange man.. that SIL is an idiotic, entitled gardening tool.. (h03), jesus..
I can get behind her descision of not being comfortable with the dog around, it is her choice made out of fear as well. But to (seemimgly) not bave a grain of empaty toward a traumatic experience, family member none the less, big red flag.
I'd love to know if the SIL would have the same attitude towards the dog if the dog protected her Daughter.
SIL would prefer her to be unalived?
For the woman with the dog, I would have her talk to her brother. She doesn't mention him at all so if he's on her side that would help. If not then invite both of them to a therapy session.
Id add to get the dog assessed by a trained behaviourist. Prove that the dog isnt a risk in normal situations.
Well done, Thor though! Dogs always know when someone is shady....
Someone else posted the update.
@dre1978
12 hours ago (edited)
There's an update to the stalker story!
Basically OP had her brother and SIL come over for a sit down. They claim because OP hadn't seemed "all that worried" about the stalker situation they didn't think it was seriously affecting her (apparently getting a gun and taking self defense course wasn't enough of a clue). OP calls bs and lists all the things she's done in the last year to make herself feel safe again but doesn't press the issue further. As to the SIL, when OP questioned why crating Thor when they come over wasn't good enough she couldn't come up with a good reason and said that would work. OP isn't sure if they're actually going to continue seeing her as much or if they're going to come up with another excuse. She thinks they just don't want to be around her while she's going through something traumatic
@@catz4m8z Honestly she should do so anyways, if she's dealing with PTSD, then he may also be a candidate for a PTSD service dog, IF tasks like grounding, room clearing, or perimeter would help her and he has the temperament to be trained for them.
the SIL doesn't like her, the dog is an excuse, she is happy to have a reason to never be around her again.
not fixable because it is intentional.
@@shaylafeyi believe OP is was already training Thor to become a service dog and try to get him certified as her PTSD service dog 👍🏼
The SIL is full of bull and obviously never has owned a dog as she doesn’t understand the role Thor has in OPs life situation. Service dog/ pal/ snuggle bug by day and guard / protect dog by night. How I read this OP spends a lot of time training Thor and knows him like the back of her hand and trust him 100%. For me that would be enough satisfaction and rely on OP saying it’s okay for the niece to be around him and play like they did before.
SIL should have more empathy and support for OP for what she has been through and still goes through instead of staying away and “punishing” her for having a hero dog which saved her life ( probably)
Sad really 😓
crazy how someone can be so obessed with someone EVEN after breakup.
Actually, it's most dangerous during/after a breakup. That's when abusers get murdery, which is why police should take this way more seriously than they do.
It's honestly really scary.
I have an ex (lots of us do) who pretended to be a sweetheart and then turned into an abusive monster. I managed to get out safely and he moved to California so we've been pretty far away but for the first 3 years (we only dated a handful of months) he reached out to me on a few different Facebook/ Instagram/ email accounts I ended up changing my name so I'll be harder to look up 😅 When we were together he had a friend follow me and keep tabs on me so I've been looking over my shoulder ever since 😢
Always just hoping he forgets about me entirely
Some people CANNOT deal with being broken up with. It's a control thing. Not just romantic partners but former friends/abusive family/etc. It absolutely sucks.
I have an abusive ex stalker cyber crime stuff going on, AND another stalker that i worked with....over 30 years ago. Never dated. There's something mentally wrong with them.
They believe they are entitled to some kind of "relationship" with you.
They can't believe it's over. Like, literally *can't* believe it; it doesn't fit into their world view, and they can't grow out of that. "You are MINE and no one else's." The harder you try to get away, the more desperately they clutch and cling and try to latch on again. And sometimes as they spin mentally, they get unbalanced, and into "if I can't have you, I'm going to make sure that no one else ever can." Or "my life is over, and I'm taking you with me."
5:12 this story is absolutely disgusting, like who does that ? And that fact that it COULD happen to literally anyone is even more terrifying.
Exactly
Honestly I had two reactions to that story:
1 Those guys need to be put away immediately and forever, what kinda next level psychopathy is this
2 Tell me that you live in the States without telling me you live in the States. Are y'all ok?? How do you live somewhere that basically feels like an active warzone???
@@RavenSutcliffe yeah… I need to get out of the states 😭
@@Staaa-143suengberry now more than ever, probably. I'm so sorry
10:40 almost sounds like the sis in law is mad the stalker lost 😢
Yeah. That SIL is bad news, or at least mentally damaged.
That SIL sounds like the type of person who'd say that OP wouldn't be in this situation if she'd given the stalker another chance/apologise/etc.
As a behaviorist, I can confirm that Thor's behavior doesn't at all indicate he wouldn't be safe around children. I'm so glad she has him. She could get him Canine Good Citizen certified to show he's safe to be around kids.
I'm a single female who lives in the middle of nowhere with no visible neighbors, without a landline, and leave my door and windows open all the time. Don't own a gun either. However, I also run a small animal rescue, and I have 6 dogs of my own as well as fosters coming and going. Currently I'm at 9. My concern about people breaking in isn't what would happen to me but what I'd do with the body...
Edited to add that I specifically work with behavioral issue dogs, and while everyone is generally friendly, they are absolutely the “find out” kind of dogs.
😂😂😂
I have a picture in my head of a burglar breaking in in the middle of the night turning around and seeing nine sets of glowing eyes all glaring at them and the burglar immediately leaving again
Legend for this 💖
😅😅😅 Oh honey!!
@@heatherlowe7330 can I help you?
12:15 This girl needs to have her family behind her, supporting her. What’s wrong with her brother? Why is he silent about what his sister went through? SIL is a hard, rude, uncaring person.
My thoughts too. If that is the sil and not her own sister...why is her brother not telling his wife: Hey, it is my child too! Do you really think, I would tell my sister to bring her dog, if I thought there was a chance of the dog hurting my child?
But obviously he isn't capable of that. So he has issues too I guess and seems a bit like he got himself married to a narc.😢 But that's just my hunch
Some people are spineless when setting boundaries with their partners
I disagree. My brother has a family and I was on my own and needed supoort, but he refused because he had to support his family first.
And guess what... I survived. I have a great life now and me and him are on great terms.
You don't actually need support from your family for personal issues. In fact, I feel a lot of family drama comes from people being too codependent to their family after they leave the home, not realizing it was time for them to create their OWN family and support system with new friends who will understand them better.
Being concerned for the safety of your child does not negate caring for your adult sibling. Children's needs should always come first.
Expecting people to "support" you to the detriment of themselves and the people they're responsible for is not healthy.
@@angelicambyence yes maybe it could be viewed as "he refused" but was it not more of a situation of not being able to give something you don't have?
It's like putting the oxygen mask on yourself first in an airplane emergency and not lighting yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
‘I am a coward. I only have time for peace.’ I felt that 😂
Thor is the bestest dog. He didn't keep attacking once the threat was gone, and he came back to check on her 😭 that is such a good boy!
Second story: sister isn't going to understand until something happens to her. There's nothing you can do. Cut ties and move on.
You can explain it to her, you can't understand it for her
Preach baby preach!!!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️
I believe that story has a contuinuation Dustin didnt cover. As I remember it, for some reason SIL didnt actually know the full story and all she was aware of was that the dog attacked someone. As soon as OP actually explained what happened,SIL apologized and accepted OP and her dog
It's not even that she doesn't understand, it's that she doesn't want to. But you're right, people like that should be avoided at all costs, if she reacts like that for a situation like OP lived, I'm afraid to see how she acts for others.
@@CiderBearUntier Why do i have a sneaking suspicion that's a lie?
Infected.
She won't.
Getting a restraining order is, generally speaking, extremely difficult. The burden of proof for victims is honestly ridiculous. Especially considering how actively useless restraining orders often turn out to be.
You're absolutely right, but it's still worth the pain in the tail in getting one. There's a trail of evidence behind you if anything happens and you (or Thor!) need to defend your household.
@@toulousegoose1150It’s easier to get one online, then if you go to the police to get one.
It's impossible to make a restraining order to work because of the irony. A restraining order only works on people who wouldn't want to bother you, which defeats the purpose of said order.
It’s literally just a piece of paper, and just as effective. Ask me how I know.
@@saragerardo6089 Personal experience, I'm guessing.
yeah. I had a stalker. It's REALLY hard to do anything to make them go away, until/unless they attack you. Mine followed me across state lines just to terrorize me. Nothing to be done. I got a restraining order, but he just ignored it. Nothing was ever done, but with me living so far away, he was relegated to harassing me online or by phone every now and then for years before it dissipated. I feel for her. I should have gotten a "Thor".
Dogs know. They just know.
8:59 emotional support animals DO NOT have the same rights as service animals, they are not allowed in all places service animals are, people need to get that through their heads
Isn't EVERY dog an "emotional support dog."?.... no you can't have them pooping on the bus!
Right! They are only for getting into housing. There is no paperwork for them that’s a scam and doesn’t stand up anywhere.
Thor genuinely deserves a medal. That dog is not only a rescue, but alerted his owner first, only attacked when there was CLEAR danger, and retreated when the danger was gone. He saved her life and is well behaved around everyone.
SIL has no right to jump to the conclusion he’s dangerous just because he saved OP’s life, when they’ve literally had the dog around the kid before. The fact they won’t even come over if she agrees to crate him? That’s fucking crazy to me.
SIL needs to reevaluate the situation, because that dog should NOT be punished for saving his owner when she was in obvious danger. He’s such a good boy.
oh my god every large dog is dangerous around kids. Dogs are ANIMALS. Even the best trained dog still isn't socialized like a human. FFS there are actual human beings, with technically higher reasoning, that hurt kids as "retaliation" for having their peace disturbed.
She may not have a right to make assumptions about the dog, but she absolutely has the right to decide who is allowed around her child. The crate part is indeed stupid though.
@@Angela-gd3cj I never said otherwise. Just that the dog that they have PREVIOUSLY LET THEIR CHILD AROUND shouldn’t be suddenly considered dangerous for saving Op
My dogs are very friendly, but when a guy started following me in town while I was walking them at night, once I felt uncomfortable my dogs turned and barked at the guy like aggressively. They don't usually do this, they did it because they felt my heartbeat go nuts and could smell that I was uncomfortable. It doesn't mean my dogs aren't safe around humans, just means you better not attack me😅🤷🏼♀️
I used to dogsit for the family of my sister's friend, who owned a Rottweiler that had known me since he was literally a puppy. Absolute unit of a sweetheart when he was full-grown. There was an occasion when his family was on vacation and I was taking him on a walk about dusk- it was getting dark and a couple of older guys decided it would be fun to start making comments about the teenaged girl walking by. They shut up REAL FAST when this giant pupper peered around my legs and started growling at them.
Dogs are the best. ❤
@silvergryphon5858 they really really are the best! I had a foster once who nearly took the face of some bloke who was hammered and trying to get into my house. This dog was also usually the friendliest dog! ❤️
10:26 as if Thor snapped and didn't just literally do his actual job?
Her sil could put that child in the front yard with just Thor and go inside and she would still be the safest kid on the block. He knows who is who! Protective breeds are smart, they know friend and foe.
SIL is cruel
“Even the flower ladys thought it was nice”…duh…they want you to buy their flowers lol
And he probably worded it so he would be the nice guy
Protection Orders do nothing to stop someone from getting to you...I learned this first hand. A man assaulted me at work and I got a PPO against him and found out he had a long history of assaulting women, stalking, and damaging property. He was currently involved in a case where he had a knife and threatened a woman who lived near my place of work. After the PPO he would park in the parking lot and wave at me then leave before the cops could get there. Then a couple weeks later the police told me he had rented a motel room just a couple of blocks from where i lived. He ended up in the hospital with 2 broken arms and 2 broken legs so I took advantage of him being gone, got a new job and moved away. The police could do nothing during this whole thing because they couldn't catch him breaking the law so some womans husband or boyfriend, or someone else he angered, made it so i didn't die. Thank you to whoever did
Imagine a family member thinking what you went through wasn't that serious and the dog that saved your life is the problem
1:20 "a truckload of problems"? Does he mean her stating boundaries?
I've had a stalker that went to jail for his actions. These people are absolutely dangerous. the red flags are not "cute" or "look how much they care." It WILL escalate.
The first one is so creepy, she never was interested, it's all in his head and he's harassing her too. Scary af.
Lots of women don't go to cops because of personal or anecdotal experiences that cops don't believe women.
Statistically, it’s just as likely the woman herself will end up arrested for calling the police, especially in domestic abuse situations. And god forbid she’s got some mildly illegal situation from unpaid parking tickets to a joint hidden in her underwear drawer. Police hate these calls because they can’t tell what’s happening, know that gettin involved will take forever and (for DA) sometimes ends in both people turning on them. So they don’t try to play therapist and unravel the truth, they just take someone away and end it.
I didn’t report a rape because I’d willingly walked into the apartment and, because I knew I would come across as unhinged compared to a calm, logical, safe-looking professor of Russian Literature. My mother had died weeks ago during COVID so I’d never said goodbye or even had a real funeral yet, and I knew that I looked like the stereotype of a drug addict. So he got away with it. I feel so guilty because he was psychopath-level good at seeming like a safe, respectful, calm academic…and then as soon as I’d put my purse and keys down (out of reach) he knocked me unconscious. It was the pain of what was happening to me that brought me back to reality in the middle of the assault.
He had taken my keys and cell and only gave them back when everything was over, suddenly seeming like Mr. Responsible again. Like two different people. But I was so ashamed and scared that I didn’t do anything except develop become more dependent on tranquilizers until I finally checked myself into rehab.
Or they won't do anything as they clearly did not do anything in these stories.
@@susanfalco4252I'm so sorry for what you went through. If the statute of limitations is still open, please consider coming forward. men like that are often repeat offenders. He may have other victims.
i got told by the police when trying to report my stalker that ‘these guys think they’re good, but we’re better’
yet all it took for them to call it quits was the fact that he was texting me from one of those apps located over seas that gives you a fake number. and he didn’t have any prior complaints against him, so he must not actually be a threat. ‘you should just start taking a different route home and watch your surroundings’
absolutely fucking useless
As a professional dog trainer who breeds and trains protection dogs, Thor's behavior is in no way a threat to the child he already knows. Dogs recognize familiar individuals. A dog attacking a home invader is no different than a person doing it. It's exactly the same kind of scenario as if she had shot the stalker herself. Thor didn't snap. He engaged in territorial defensive aggression in a scenario with an aggressive assailant that the dog does not know.
Guardian dogs are not dangerous to anyone who is not a threat. Thor sounds like an excellent example of his breed and I would be thrilled to have such a dog in my program.
True. Of course you should always be watching when a dog interacts with the children in the family. But like you said, that the dog defended his owner in a really dangerous situation don't mean that he's a danger to family.
@@Nemrai exactly.
12:06 her brother can also state it as well. Honestly that thinking is very dangerous from the sister. Her kid will pick up on it and internalize it as well.
So this was actually an interesting topic that came up. My best friend rejects men SO coldly, makes me feel bad for them for even approaching her.
I on the other hand, will entertain the attention and then just block them the next day.
Of the two of us, I FEEL I am the cruel one. Giving false hope to men interested in dating and then leaving with no explanation.
However, it has come out of experiences of being cornered, harrassed, and threatened for saying no.
As a woman, it is TERRIFYING to reject a man.
The major difference between the two or more sexes is that one will just not talk to you, the other will try to hurt you for not talking. I understand the fear
As a man I do prefer a clear "Not interested".
It sucks to recieve that kind of treatment, but I do understand.
Stay safe ladies.
@@MrAntiKnowledge Its wild. For us (men), the pain of the rejection is the part that sucks. For ladies, questioning if that might be her last breath is the fear. Because some of these dudes are beyond emotional, but their egos cant handle that fact. They have to prove that theyre macho men, and then snap on the person whos made them feel all these feelings (feeling is anti-alpha). Sure, for someone whos tapped into reality, its nice to get a clear response. But its a coin toss on if we're actually a normal dude, or a complete psychopath. Im off the dating market, but i feel for everyone trying to navigate it. Its scary out there.
@SeageSpeaks The really wild thing is that, for some of us, it's both. I've been rejected plenty of times, and it hurts. No one likes rejection. But I also know that if I reject a man, he can suddenly snap at any moment. Best case scenario is he starts a barage of texts/messages calling me ugly, fat, bitch, etc. I block him and he goes away. I'll take rejection, any day, over the emotional abuse!
I wish emotional intelligence, emotional regulation, and regular therapy sessions were mandatory classes throughout our formative years in school. Too many broken adults out there causing trauma to others because they can't handle being rejected.
@@mimsydreams Fairrrr. Its a minefield out there. I left this comment on an instagram post a while back, but i was basically saying on it that its actually so hard to hold terrible people accountable, because they don't show it around anyone that would or could check them. I was saying that predators and the like, will keep that stuff under wraps until they're around a victim or with others of their kin, then they let it out. But if you're not like them, the chances of you finding out about that side of them, unless they snap and let it out, is slim to none. So the folks that ARE out there being regular human beings and actually looking out for their peers, they might run into a situation where they witness this type of thing once or twice. But for the most part, they'll be living in bliss because they're a natural threat to insecure babies with rage issues, and your general mill of perverts and offenders out there. It makes it much harder to deal with them. When you teach people not to do terrible things, you DO get through to the ones that you were always going to get through to. They take it, process, understand. But some....some of them know, but do the opposite anyways. They know its wrong, which is why they slink around. Some of these people can be taught tho, therapy can fix some, general lessons from REAL influential teachers and parents and guardians. Friends who act right, etc. But there will be ones who act like they get it too, and they slip through the cracks. They will always be a danger.
This is creepy. I had my mailman ask me out. I am always polite with him and chat for a bit, but in no way have flirted or said anything that would make him think I am interested. I tried to avoid saying directly no bc , I mean he knows where I live and it could get awkward. So I just kinda let it hang there. A few weeks later he said he booked a cave hike (in the middle of nowhere) for us to go on?!! I lied and said I was dating someone and I can not go with him. Since then he is still my mailman. But DUDES, think about how creepy that is. Like why would I want to go anywhere with someone I do not really know. What in this mans mind was he thinking? I let my neighbors know just in case I ever go missing. He still chats me up regularly and has not crossed a line, and it has been over a year, but still creeps me out. This is why women choose to be bitchy bc when we are nice men creep us out.
Yeah, that's creepy. I don't trust your mailman.
It's just that extra bit of creepy that he booked the hike without asking you first. Why do some dudes think they can plan a date without actually asking the other person about it? Even if it seems like a sure thing, you always want to ask to check for availability.
You can call your local post office and let them know. They'll take him off your route.
If you ever suspect him tampering with your mail, just know it's a federal felony called obstruction of correspondence.
A CAVE???? Oh hell naw, to the naw naw naw
That dog knows her neice is part of the family. She will be well protected as you were with the dog. My stepmom had a German Shepard when I came to live with my dad and her. He understood and went everywhere with me and was my babysitter. Everyone loved him, and he loved kids as long as he was on watch we were safe. My dad wasn't even allowed to spank me. Lol. The dog wouldn't bite but hold his arm back till he let me go.lol. The only time he went after someone was that they slugged me in the back. I called his name, and he never actually got her but did scare the daylights out of her and chase her away.. Lol. I should have listened to him when he wanted to stop me from going on a swing, too.. I tied him up, and sure enough, I fell and split my head on a rock . He knew better.
Your dogs reaction to you is that he knew you were in danger. I doubt your neice is threatening you.
My dog is half german shepherd and half rough collie, which can also be protective. He barks at whoever is the one smacking. I'm his owner that raised him and if I'm the one playfully hitting someone he barks at me. He does not like violence at all. He stands in between my moms cats to make sure they don't fight lol, or will bark at strangers if the parent trying to pull their child from a playground l, or if he thinks anyone is being aggressive. Best dogs
We have a German shepherd, she's the sweetest girl ever. Our daughter had a splinter so we were trying to remove it, but she was scared so started crying. Our dog simply walked over, pushed herself between us and our daughter, sat down, and just wagged her tail. Just a very simple "I don't know what's going on but the small one is upset with you so I'll just sit here." Another time, the dogs were out in our fenced in back yard. It was winter so I had on a hoodie and I pulled it all the way up over my head to go out to look for something in the garage. When I opened the door and walked out, the dogs hadn't heard me. They noticed me as I started walking and our GSD froze, looked at me a moment, then started stalking forward. I pulled the hood back and yelled "It's just me!" She stopped, looked at me a second, then started wagging her tail and pranced over happily. I feel well protected with her around!
My German Shepherd mix doesn't like it when my sister disciplines her son. Literally just picking him up off a windowsill when she told him to get down and he wouldn't, not even hitting him and causing physical pain and psychological damage. My sister and I say we'd trust my dog with children, but not with their parents.
This is exactly why I have a pitbull. They are the sweetest, most loving babies, but they look scary enough to make an intruder pause and maybe even leave. I've never had problems with aggression. As long as someone is welcomed into our home they understand that the person is a friend. The last one i had was 90 pounds of love, but I'm sure if someone would have tried to hurt us he would have stepped in and tore them up. We sadly lost him earlier this year, and we've got another pitty puppy now. I hope that lady ignores her sister and keeps her hero pup. Thor is a good boy.
That's a really good sponsor.
You're doing a good thing here, preventing people from starting relationships that will only go one way. You can have who you want sponsoring you for that alone.
There's nothing wrong having a sponsor, it's better for us than constant adverts and has to be better for you as a creator.
I'm glad you got the system, it must have been really scary being so close to a drive by. ❤🇬🇧
I want to cry but then I love you running around with flags in Parks.
Truly lightens up the mood just when we need it lol
Thor story. The thing about dogs is that they know who and who isn’t a threat to their people. The stalker? A threat to Thor’s person. A literal toddler? Not a threat. Might even be of even more importance since dogs understand how important children are to humans! My uncle and his wife recently had my cousin, and their dog Mojave barks at anyone who approaches my baby cousin.
They also have a good situational awareness and would react differently to person showing up at your house in the middle of the night and a toddler they take as family in the bright daylight, visiting.
My nana had a Yorkshire terrier that they'd have to shut away when the midwives and nurses came over to see me, she'd get too rowdy with them, she was tiny but filled with protective fury 😂 She would sleep in my crib (it was the nineties) and keep guard all day, I never once heard her growl as a toddler or child ❤
Sure, tell that to all the babies, toddlers, and children who have been mauled by dogs unprovoked. A baby is no threat in any circumstance, but dogs are animals, not angels. They kill and maim just like any other animal. Witnessing dognutter apologetics in real time makes me sad.
@@HaizeyWings I’m not talking about all dogs, I’m just saying in some cases dogs may be more protective of their owners kids. I’m not saying to leave a dog unattended with a small child, but yes, maulings happen.
@@HaizeyWings We're animals...he protected her against a murderous stalking animal. That has no causative connection with "bad dog hurt poor baby human"
14:50 “I only have time for peace”. I love this and am using it always.
12:13 as someone terrified of dogs, I think it's insane not to come when the dog will be in a carate and can not reach you. Like come one! U gonna stalk her? No? Then Thor doesn't pose a threat to you. Op needs support and love not silliness
Woah woah woah, hang on Sister In Law- when a dog "snaps", the word "snaps" is usually in reference to a sudden attack out of the blue towards someone they should know. This dog did not know this man who was STALKING YOUR HUBBY'S SISTER, saw that he was BREAKING INTO THE HOUSE WITH ILL INTENT, and PROTECTED HIS MASTER. He knows you, your husband, and your little girl, and knows that none of you would hurt his owner.
Thor _is_ a hero, it honestly sounds like you just want a reason to keep your daughter away from the dog, who has always been friendly with her in the past, and im sure your four year old loves Thor as much as Thor loves her.
I think creepy people should have to have a tattoo on their forehead as a warning. Part of their sentencing. More people need to press charges and follow up, but that's also terrifying. 😔
Yeah the idea is great but who is to deside whats is creepy and what is not? If it was up to typical Stacey from your school you would likely had one yourself.
@@Steir12 "Stacey" is insane bro LMAO
@user-pt1cz4ot1e 💯 I agree!!! Seriously darlin, go ask 10 women you know if they ever went to press charges, and what happened when they went to the police station.
The police Act like Brock Turner the rap.ists dad, lawyer, and school did:
"You must be wrong and if you're not you're misremembering it, and if you're not, why are you going to ruin a good boys life over this??" 🙄
Completely invalidating the trauma of the person who's life is actually malaffected.
Unfortunately 99% of the time the police won't do anything until they actually hurt you.
And then they ask why you didn't report, which is why it's always important to write down what officer you talk to, what time, and exactly what they said.
Everybody stay safe out there!!
💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
@Steir12 darling I'm going to respond as if you're not trolling since I don't know if you are or if you're just being cynical, and I'm a benefit of the doubt type of person! 💖✨️
Stacy from high school will not have any evidence or proof or Witnesses if she made it up. However we're talking about people who are in situations exactly like the guy in the story, which is why I'm questioning if you're trolling or not, because only a truly insane and unhinged human finds nothing wrong with what the stalker did in the video, having a trunk full of murder kit and being saved from her ex by her big old puppy . Even the second one with the ex sending people to women's houses at 1:00 and 2:00 in the morning.
False allegations are so rare, far, and few between, that the only ones you hear about are from celebrities, where the media can play it up to get people watching.
I want it to have a jail sentence for any woman, or man, or otherwise, falsely accusing someone of g-rape or stalking to the point of being scared for your life.
I would also like all of the people who have to go through this, regardless of gender, be taken seriously by both society and the cops.
We need to have actionable change solutions to address the piss poor system that has DECADES of g-rape cases untested all around the United States
I also really want our men to step it up and support other men who are victims. I can't stand the typical response when a man reaches out for help or is in the news for being a victim 😭😡
It's disgusting, there shouldn't be teasing and acting like he's a wuss for reporting a literal crime.
We all know we have a broken ass system, I just wish more people would support reform on so many issues. Because right now everybody is okay with just sitting by idly as it stands, ruining people's lives.
💖💖💖💖💖💖
Side note, everybody really really really really really needs to come together and agree that we can hate each other later, we need to
- add term limits to every position,
- age ceilings just like we have our age floors for every position,
- and we need to get rid of lobbying!!
Dude seriously can you imagine how many things we could get done and how quickly things would change if corporations couldn't just legally bribe their will and whim into law!?
I've been a dog owner for over 25 years, and I've known a lot of people who are afraid of dogs. This is not the behavior of someone who is afraid of dogs. That's the behavior of someone who dislikes dogs. They may ALSO be afraid, but fear doesn't prompt this kind of behavior.
Unfortunately this kind of treatment isnt uncommon for bully breeds like american bulldogs (I've worked with them before as a volunteer)
If Thor had been a g-shep or labrador I bet the response would have been much different, but people have such a messed up view of bullies even when they do nothing wrong or do something heroic like Thor did (you see headlines sometimes of pitbulls still being painted as antagonistic after biting a home invader)
Its an unfair stigma caused by dog fighting circles and poorly trained bullies being handled by people who dont know what theyre doing or intentionally try to keep them untrained and aggressive
Thor absolutely earned his name as a little warrior of Valhalla and the SIL needs to address her own "scary dog" bias enough to understand what Thor did was a good thing since if he hadn't jumped in and acted SIL would be going to op's funeral instead of having a stupid argument over a dog who did nothing wrong
Not to mention that head shape is so distinct and dominant- If the dog is even slightly a pitbull breed (forget the name of the grouping) you can tell, and it's gonna be mentioned
Also it seems dumb people will see any amount of bulk and say it's a pitbull 😅
Idk I'm just sick of their bad rap. The bad reputation makes people nervous around them, which can make the dog more reactive. And that bad reputation means they're a "cool guy" dog to have, and a jackass who just got a pitbull to look tough is not going to end well. It's a vicious cycle we need to break.
Three cheers for Thor, he protected his momma and came right back to comfort her!
It sounded a bit like breed bias to me, too.
My neighbors have multiple dogs, but the oldest one is a pitbull that is so sweet. Her name is Diamond, and I'd trust her with children. I've never seen her being mean or anything. She's incredibly sweet. ❤️ She's not trained to be a service dog, I don't think, but she takes such good care of her mom, who's disabled. She's such a good girl. Even when she licks my hand she's gentle. 😊
German shepherds also still have that stigma, because they're frequently used as police dogs, which are not as well trained as cops would have you believe. They're known to fatally attack vets, dog groomers, civilians, and civilian dogs. Same with Belgian malinois, but most people think they're german shepherds because they have a similar look. I think you mean "g. retriever or Labrador."
@@Br0nto5aurus I've had German Shepherds, an Akita, and bully mutts. I have to disagree with you. People were more afraid of my 60+lb bully mutts than the "G. Sheps," to the point that strangers would come up and pet the 100+ lb long haired Shepherd. He looked huge. Same goes for my parents' huge long haired mixed breed with a shepherd shaped head. People adored him on sight, and he was huge and looked most like a shepherd. But our submissive bully got kicked out of the dog park when another dog attacked her and got other dogs to join in. My husband kept her from getting hurt, and she was actually pretty calm about it, but the people there treated all of us like we were the problem.
11:45 "I've already suggested that they come over and I crate Thor, but that wasn't good enough for her." WHAT??? That woman's sister in law is completely 100% unreasonable. Period. If someone doesn't want to be around a dog (FOR ANY REASON) putting the dog in a crate (or in a separate room, or in the back yard) during that person's visit has ALWAYS been a complete solution to the problem. I've heard of owners not wanting to temporarily imprison their dogs, but I've never before heard of crating the dog not being good enough for the other party??? Seriously, that SIL is ridiculous! :P
My car does the "im driving" response too when I get texts while driving and its connected to Bluetooth. The amount of ppl who think im the one who is being sassy... Is WILD and get immediately offended that im trying to end a convo or anything like that.
They can like it Or lump it
@@Luke-f4i oh no doubt! When I was still in the dating pool before I met my current partner, that was always kind of a litmus test for men who were courting me. Depending on how they would respond, they may or may not ever hear from me again with that! So in a weird way, I can thank my car for helping to weed out those "nice guys" who aren't actually nice.
9:41 What a good boy!!! Give our hero Thor everything he wants!! (In moderation, of course; most dogs aren't great at self control and portioning when it comes to yummy food. )😆
I had a thief almost break into my home while I was there, and the trauma had me locking everything down like an armed baracade in times of war. It took me 3 full years to calm down. He never laid a hand on me. He truly never crossed the threshold, but I still jumped at anything that sounded "off". I can't imagine what the person trying to recover from a stalker is dealing with. I am also very cautious about certain breeds of dogs. Our rescues are absolutely FULL of dogs that are mixed with those breeds who were never taught basic obedience and in many cases abused/neglected that were given up or taken from their owners so I truly have some understanding of both sides. If the owner of the dog is even offering to crate the animal, then surely there is a compromise that can be reached. Depending on the breed (I know it's a mutt but I mean the visible traits) I might not be comfortable with my 4 year old hugging or laying on the dog but this is not a feral animal so I wouldn't have an issue spending time around Thor.
I did understand where the SIL is coming from, and was feeling sympathetic for both ladies until she said crating Thor isn't even good enough for the SIL. I don't think you can get through to someone like that. At some point in her life she learned a dog who bites once will bite over and over again and kill children. Whatever trust she had in Thor is gone. But, offering to crate the dog should solve the situation. At this point it feels like she thinks the op's emotional response to being attacked is "being too dramatic" or something along those lines. I feel like a conversation is not going to unpack everything that's happening in SIL's head.
Exactly I feel for both actually she came off nasty but I understand her fear.
Also I think people need to realize that people have a right to not allow animals in their house, I feel for it but I can't have animals in my house that aren't my pets because I am severely allergic to dogs.
Tricky situation I think people are judging the SIL worse than she deserves, but I definitely am glad the dog saved her and that she is okay at the same time.
@@RosettaAllen Nah, SIL is more or less telling the victim to gtf over the house invasion, who was obviously going to kill her, SIL sounds like she has no empathy or sympathy for what she went through, SIL has managed to make it all about herself.....
@RosettaAllen ok but if they don't want the dog there then they don't need to be pitching if she doesn't come over. They don't want the dog m, she doesn't feel safe without the dog so there you go they don't get to see her either. Sil is dumb, I have no understanding at all. Dogs like that are trained to save their owners life and in the same breath save children. Her fear is illogical and now they have lost their babysitter. Oh darn did I say that out loud cuz I bet she is also often the babysitter. They sound self centered and now that they lost free babysitter they are pissy. Oh well
@@ramshacklefarm9957 everything you said, I didn't even see it from the angle of babysitting - that makes sense. I still think the SIL is trying to make it about herself.
@@RosettaAllen Nah, I don't think the SIL is being judged too harshly. I completely agree that people should not be expected to allow animals in their home. You have a good reason for it, but I don't think anyone needs a reason to say no. I never ask to bring my dogs, because I know they bring dirt, fur and and have claws that can damage floors. I have a no smoking and a no shoes rule, and the no dogs rule is just as valid. However, service dogs, or dogs functioning like service dogs, are different. Unless there's a legitimate reason, like clashing medical needs, it's not okay to say no.
In this case, the SIL isn't really being judged for not allowing Thor, she's being judged for dismissing a victim's experience and trauma. She's also extremely ignorant when it comes to dog behavior, and clearly not willing to learn, even when it's this important to her family.
8:07: it does warrant a restraining order, but unless the stalker violates that order, and you have comprehensive proof, there’s not much police can do. likewise, to even obtain one, there needs to be credible threats to your safety (a threat of intent to harm, attempts to harm, etc.). as a stalking survivor myself, they don’t do much.
I say Thor needs a big T-Bone and sis probably needs something a little different. My service dog alerted to my house being set on fire ( fires had been set at both exits) and saved my life. He was there when the only family close to me was the person responsible for the fire. Its weird that some people cant accept it but for my dog Jax he eats well and truly is my best friend. Hes excellent at seeing through peoples BS and i trust his gut feeling like my own.
Go Thor!!! What a good doggie 😭😭😭
Unfortunately when it comes to stalking, police aren’t required and normally won’t help you until the stalker does something to you or it’s too late.
Yep. Still report though, there'll be a paper trail in case anything worse happens.
@@toulousegoose1150 Absolutely.
As soon as she said she 1am guy named her tenth grade ex boyfriend It thought it was obviously him and he lied when she messaged him.
We had an American bulldog when I was a teen. He was such a good dog that 30 years later we still talk about what a good dog he was and so do my parents neighbors. He was extremely intelligent and caring. He saved my mom twice. She took sleeping meds so would sleep through anything. She left a candle burning on her dresser by accident and when it burned down till the wood caught fire, he dragged her out of bed and out of the room. She also slipped and fell into the river while wearing a backpack full of towels on the way to the swimming hole, and again, he dragged her out before she could even stand up. She probably would have been fine without him that time, but not if she'd hit her head. When my oldest son was about 2, my parents thought he was with me, I thought he was with them and when we realized he was nowhere to be found, we realized the dog was missing too. Not much later, my son came running home from the direction of the river crying with the now old and arthritic dog mosying beside him. The back of his sweatshirt was wet and had teeth marks. I asked what happened and he said,"Ozo wouldn't let me play in the water." 😭 He loved most people and other animals, but one time my brother's friend was over and went outside for something and tried to come back in. The dog wouldn't let him in. He was growling (and a 130 lb brindled bulldog is terrifying I'm sure!) And had him backed up against the door. He wouldn't even back off when we we told him to, he wanted that guy gone. We had to make the guy go back outside and try knocking. Once he did that and we let him in the dog let him in but kept giving him the side eye like ok, but I don't trust you. A few months later that guy was arrested for several counts of B&E/theft and violence on the last one where he got caught. Smart dog.
I’m so, so glad y’all are safe after that shooting-what a terrifying situation!!
After recently subscribing to her channel and absolutely bingeing her content? I am so glad you & Kendra have each other. You’ve had THE BEST vibes since posting your first few Flag Guy videos & I’m so glad you found one another.
THOR, TEDDY BEAR GOD! Good boy.
It doesn’t have to be this way. We teach men to feel entitled to women, how to abuse them, and that the penalties will be slight if they hurt them. These 3 things need to change.
A father teaches them to be better, if you reproduce with one that doesn’t care to DEVELOP a boys mind, work ethic or character then this is what happens.
Agreed. I work with kids. 5th grade and the boys already hate girls and treat them like garbage. It’s so wild. They all live with their moms and grandmas but can’t translate the care they got to the gender that stuck around to raise them. It’s so wild.
No dog can be 100% trusted with kids. Ever. Kids and dogs require the same level of alert supervision as kids and swimming pools.
Thank you yes exactly especially when small handsy overexcited children are involved and are still learning boundaries.
Dude 😳 that kind if firepower against your poor neighbor is INSANE. Props to y'all for getting a system for your house. We love our SimpliSafe -- its always traveled well with us from rental to rental until we finally bought our home.
So I was in a similar situation as 8:20, was able to leave an abusive relationship but was getting 20+ calls, random drive bys and text messages from my ex. Tried to place a restraining order but was told 20+ calls isn't enough to place a restraining order, I have call back once its 100 or more. Law is incredibly unhelpful, I would have been dead or in hubbard house if family wasn't able to help me.
Me pausing at 1:47 because a human being sent flowers to the work place of a second human being and not just any human being, but the one you live with 👁👄👁
Why not just give them in person???
@lelduck6388 yo for real though like you literally LIVE WITH THEM??? At the very least, if you have conflicting schedules, you could just send them to the house??
I honestly don’t see the problem with sending flowers to her job to show he appreciates her. How can that make you mad?
@@Makeuplovecultureit’s a violation of their privacy. Most people want to keep their professional life and private life separate.
A lot of people don’t like to be interrupted on the job/in work mode, which romantic gestures will do. People also typically can’t leave a job so if they can’t just up and leave if they’re uncomfortable.
The gesture has a (typically) unintended side effect of saying “I know where you work and I am willing to interrupt that time”. So the recipient knows if the giver ever turns to stalking that their workplace will not be safe.
It also lessens the emotional connection. The sender can’t immediately see the receivers reaction and the receiver will probably not feel as cared for if it was instead given in person. Send a gift to where someone will be instead of interacting with them to give it robs the gift of intimacy. It removes an immediate conversation about the gift.
It would just be so much better to give them to her at home but I think he wasn’t brave enough to risk an in person rejection.
@@lelduck6388 well this seems a little extra and ridiculous. It’s flowers- not a helicopter in the middle of the building. And he knew where she worked probably because they are roommates. I’m not saying he didn’t turn out to be a weirdo, just saying flowers are not the problem.
For the 2nd story I might suggest asking the SIL what might prove to her that Thor isn’t a danger.
I would also get the brother’s take on the issue for perspective (not putting him in the middle).
It could be that the SIL has some anxiety of her own around Thor and is avoiding seeing him to avoid being anxious. In that case it’s a clash of needs between two anxious people and there may be baby steps both sides can take to reduce their respective anxieties.
On the other hand it could be that SIL has a bias against dogs or bully breeds specifically and was waiting for an excuse to limit contact with Thor. This would be more challenging to overcome and might take more time. It takes a lot of good impressions to undo one bad impression.
I feel for both sides. I hope things work out for them. I think it’s a real opportunity for them to have good conversations that could bring them closer together. It might provide a healthy conflict resolution model for the niece (depending on how old the niece is)
11:40 Unfortunately it sounds as though this person's SIL is jealous of the attention OP is getting. She doesn't care enough to empathise and only sees the opportunity to create even more horrifying drama
after casually dating someone who was a longtime friend for a couple months had run its course, we went back to just friends. suddenly i started finding packaging on my doorstep filled with letters, poems, vinyl records and photos of myself i didn’t know existed. then the letters appeared to not make sense and i couldn’t follow the narrative. after asking some friends to try and crack the code, we realized that they were written in a really peculiar way. At the end of a line he would skip two lines and finish that sentence there. We had to take highlighters in various colors in order to actually read it. and from that moment on, i realized that you don’t always know what people are capable of when triggered. 🚩
Attention mechanics: if a woman asks you to search her vehicle for tracking devices, TAKE THAT SHIT SERIOUSLY. HER LIFE IS POSSIBLY AT STAKE.
About the sister-in-law.
OP should start by talking to her own brother, and maybe a parent. Taking the SIL to her therapist is not a bad idea, though.
Unfortunately, in another update, the brother sides with the SIL.
They seem to both invalidate OP's trauma, and SIL was cornered into admitting she had no reason to think crating Thor wouldn't be enough for them to visit with the niece
@nonexistingvoid That's too bad. Maybe the brother and SIL need to talk to a dog expert then, but at this point, I'm not sure it would help.
@@njorun1829 I feel like they're simply using this as proof to confirm their bias towards bully breeds (the type that often fall victim to "Pitbull laws")
And both of them seem to lack empathy and compassion, so I doubt anyone can convince them they're wrong.
Heck, Thor could save their daughter's life and they might still think he's a vicious animal.
@@nonexistingvoid You're probably right. I'm not a dog person, but I know there's a lot of biased options that aren't grounded in reality about certain breeds.
Stop trying to fix the unfixable.
If the SIL continues this attitude about Thor, the niece will soon become afraid of Thor (or all dogs). Thor is a protector, not an instigator🐶
Worse, the daughter will never learn about dog safety and will assume that just because she doesn't know for a fact that the dog has bitten someone, the dog is safe. Teaching children to be wary of all dogs is so much more important than teaching them to fear dogs that react appropriately (and the same way any human would react: with lethal force) to an intruder in the night.
Fighting dogs are never safe around children
@@dshe8637 Thor isn't a fighting dog
@Reteromi American bulldog. Definitely bred for fighting and baiting.
@@dshe8637 ??? Everything I found says they were bred for herding hogs+cattle or for utility use. Maybe breeding them to fight is more of a modern thing??? I don't think that's what any animal should be used for tho
Take Thor and SIL to a dog trainer. The dog trainer should be able to explain everything much better and even show SIL there is nothing to worry about. If that doesn’t work SIL is a lost cause.
Bump!
Unfortunately, a restraining order does zero for protection. It's just a piece of paper.
People break them all of the time and injur and/or kill the person.
So, her learning to protect herself is the best thing, honestly.
Btw, go Thor!!!
Im actually crying thinking about Thor! Literally one of the goodest boys to ever live. His protective instincts are on point and it really shows how appreciative and loving he is towards OP! 😭😭❤️
Love your channel! Just binged everything over the past few weeks! My favorite Reddit channel I have to say!
Restraining Orders: cops don't do restraining orders, courts do. Don't go to the cops to file for a restraining order, go to your municipal court's website or clerk.
You can't apply for one without a police report.
you can't get one without credible evidence, which typically involves police reports.
I wish this comment was pinned for anyone who needs to know this 😊
Restraining Orders: A useless piece of paper not worth the ink used to write it. Go to your local gun dealer. Also, much better than any alarm system is a dog! You ever watch “Cops”? As soon as they are “ sending the dog in “, the criminal always gives up. Before wasting your time on that useless piece of paper, think about better deterrence.
Women get jailed for killing their pimps. This is not the good idea you think it is
So yeah… I don't know if you saw my other post but please contact a local trainer who trains peoples dogs to be proper service dogs.
PTSD is a diagnosis that allows for service animals.
It won't allow you to take your dog to your sister's house, but it will allow you to take your dog with you to the store and to work and any place else that you need to go.
Even if the dog attacked the stalker in defense, the attack would disqualify this dog from becoming a service dog most likely. Any reputable trainer would pass on providing training, so it would have to be owner/handler-trained which can be very hard to do. Doable, but very, very hard.
@@syenite It depends on the exact situation, as protection of an owner is not automatically disqualifying unless its a trained or repeat behavior, if 0 other situations have ever occurred where he's shown reactive tendencies, and if he's thourghly evaluated by a professional behaviorist, then most trainers Iv interacted with at least would be okay with working with him. A PTSD service dog's tasks are slightly easier than most to owner-train. The 'bomb proofing' so to speak would be the core issue.
I was stalked by a man and attacked in a crowded Walmart. No one stopped it. No one stopped him from walking out the door. The police came an hour later. They never followed up with me. I never feel like I can trust them anymore.
I just want you to know, you do an excellent job carrying people through learning these kinds of things. It's obvious you have done a lot of self-introspection and relating to the world around you in order to explore it! As well as have been through a lot.
When learning about tough topics, it helps to have some levity to soften the engagement and help ground people. Also helps to have someone who practices speechcraft as you're doing. Pressure- and release! 10/10 - thank you for tackling green and red flags alike!
Pro tip: When addressing a stalker, DO NOT call them "my stalker" or anything of the sorts. This makes them think they're worth a damn and they'll keep coming.
Not at all important in this story, but just so y'all know: Emptional Support Animals do NOT have right to entry in private businesses, they are NOT a service animal and do NOT have the same rights as a service animal, and rightly so. Please don't take them into businesses, that causes SO many problems for disabled people with service animals. Thank you ❤
She's already addressed this so not necessary to reprimand her.
@@judithrussell9162 Except her intention is to STILL take her ESA into stores, knowing full well there's a difference between ESA's and Service Animals. So she deserves the reprimand.
Do you have anxiety attacks that leave you breathless and on the floor? That's why ESA animals are there. Don't blame the ESA's, blame the shitty people who try to pass off their dogs who are not ESA as ESA.
Good Lord y'all, read the damn room.
"WELL 'acktchuallyyyyyy'- "
She was almost kidnapped and dispatched by her ex how the fck do you think it's appropriate to say that right now??
She can't hear you, she certainly isn't going to read this page, and anybody reading TH-cam comments- is already well aware.
Seriously, so gross and tone deaf.
If her dog is well trained and it literally *kept her alive*, Ihave no problem with it, and I've trained my cardiac dog with military style precision- so OF COURSE she isn't going to have zero problem with it.
Anyone whose dog isn't well trained and they are pulling them around as a service animal, seems to be a much bigger issue.
@@B.Harper7 I'm autistic and tone deaf sometimes. You ignore the preface of a comment and are unnecessarily rude. We all have flaws.
"Nice guy roommate" is already making my hackles raise before even hearing the story. Dear God, I cannot IMAGINE having a "nice guy" as your ROOMMATE. That would be TERRIFYING. Especially in this day and age where breaking a lease early could prevent you from renting decent housing for literal years. How fucking disgusting can a guy be to put that pressure on someone he's living with???
As for Thor, I'm gonna assume the SIL is one of those people who was already irrationally afraid of pit bulls and this is just an excuse to not be around the dog anymore. Truly sucks because this story should have made SIL trust Thor more, not less. He's a hero and a very good boy.
Dog story had an update.
Several people brought up that can't they leave the niece with relatives (Who lived incredibly close) and come over. OP realised that while SIL had valid points, her SIL was also kinda just avoiding her. They had a proper talk (Thor asleep and snoring in the cage the whole time) and OP discussed that she understood their fears but really needed their support.
Apparently, because OP doesn't really believe them, it seems Brother and SIL didn't realise how bad things were for OP. Because she wasn't telling everyone all the time how traumatized she was. Which, OP didn't want to do, people don't want to hang out with someone whose always talking about how horrible their life is.
They agree to be more open and come over more often, and the update ends with OP talking about how they left Thor at home and drove around the neighbourhood all by themselves.