@@MeetStephanSpeaks People HAVE TO REALIZE it ALL starts from THE HEART AND MINSET of people. To me personally GOD TAKES CARE OF THAT IF PEOPLE OPEN THEIR HEARTS TO HIM , however, SADLY people don't want 😔 to.
Dating 110% sucks. I have pretty much completely given up on ever finding someone. I don’t think I even believe in love or soulmates anymore. There is no such thing as “happy ever after.” All love has ever given me is heartaches and I don’t ever want any part of that ever again!
Thank you for your response, don't give up on dating yet, try changing your focus from dating to learning and you will start to see positive results in your dating experiences!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks thanks for the encouragement. Just read two of your books (God where is my Boaz and He’s lying to you Sis) and I now see a different perspective. I plan to re-read both an use as my guideline to dating. I look forward to listening to your videos and reading more of your books.
I can definitely understand that! You are entitled to your feelings and your break from dating. Trying to find a good man by dating is like looking thru a dumpster of trash trying find your lost wedding band.
God is your first love💞💯, .......dating only sucks when you're looking for someone to offer you something, however when you have all your ducks in order you know that you are the prize to be won and dating is simply just finding out who will discover the prize as hidden . Adding more value , than trying to make value . Being a help mate NOT a help me take..😊 🙏🏾💞💪🏾 Blessings and love
@@MeetStephanSpeaks your videos tend to be more focused from the female perspective. Please produce more from a man’s perspective. You have men here who wish to better themselves and are open minded
2 1/2 mos. into my last relationship, I cut my losses. After discussing the level of disrespect & getting nowhere, I threw in the towel & never looked back. Great move on my part!
Kindly don’t say that, there are a lot of good men out there! You should try changing your focus from dating to learning and you will start to see positive results in your dating experiences!
Dating in my area sucks to me. I’m not feeling like “all men are bad” or “there’s no one for me”. But I truly do be exhausted with being cool with being alone, then getting with someone, being honest and open with them, and then they end up being trash. And it’s a difference between us having differences and deciding we aren’t a fit and someone being disrespectful and trash.
Yeah dating is a waste of time and money a lot of times. This gentleman gets it! Positivity, purpose, and higher power should be the focus always. Invest in yourself first. The rest will follow...
Every date with a person is a lesson in disguise, there is so much we can learn from others. What we like don’t like etc, don’t give up! Sending love to everyone in their love journey ♥️💕
I live in NYC and yes I’m so ready to stop dating!! Dating sucks here! SOME if not most men are taken(married,baby mama or in a situationship) , in jail, gay, selfish, immature ,looking for help, users(just want sex and/or money) etc. After I do decide to date I’m disappointed, tired and I feel like I waste my time. If your a woman in your 30s time is valuable and important. I’m so good on dating. If God has a plan I’ll let him work it.
Yeah, dating here in NYC...especially in your 30s is not too good. I get it. People just need to stop the game playing though...and be real and honest. Thats my thing. But Whatever. Lol
I can attest to this! Once I changed my mind frame, the kind of men I attract are better and when I recognize something that doesn’t bring value into my life I let it go. You’re right people wanna move so quickly skipping that learning phase.
I gave up already 🥺!!! I am calm, cool and collected, but I am not meeting quality men of the same age 50. People don’t know how to date. It’s sad. So, I am getting extremely comfortable being Single.
I will be 55 next month but don’t feel it ( most days) and the men in my (our) age group still act like they’re in high school! I’m not looking anymore. I’m just trying to live my best life and try not to think about dating much any more.
Thank you for your response, don't give up on dating yet, try changing your focus from dating to learning and you will start to see positive results in your dating experiences!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you for the encouragement. My heart is focused on what God wants me to do with my life. I think I will just stay focused on Jesus Christ and let God Almighty do with me as He wants. I have to just let my wants go and give everything about me to God. He knows why He created me.
Yea I ghost, block & cut them off. I can try to communicate better, but we’re too old to be explaining to people. These men know exactly what they be doing & what they want. Happiness definitely comes from within💕
That’s very painful. I’m sorry you experienced that. There are some good men out there. Somewhere. I haven’t found him either but I’m not looking anymore either. I’m working on myself abs my personal relationship with God. Best wishes for you.
I just said yesterday! I’m about to stop dating for the next 90 days and this came up today Yes it’s sucks I’m 36 years old and I don’t have time for games yet I’m dating men in their 40’s and they are still wanting a night of fun and temporary casual things
I’ve learned to enjoy myself and the alone time I have. I’m so at peace and happy that I will not tolerate anyone who doesn’t add to my NEWNESS. Single for 8 yrs and I’m expecting real love but enjoying myself in the meantime. Awesome content Steph. Thank you🙏🏽
Dating is complex because although I’m well footed in my spiritual journey, the men that approach me are not, and I can easily tell in conversation that their mindset has not grown and I have difficulty forming a bond with them. I don’t hold onto them, I let them go. I can’t waste my time. I want someone on my level mentally and spiritually and I’m not going to compromise that. I deserve a partner that compliments and speaks to my soul.
My biggest struggle with dating is finding someone that’s on the same level as me emotionally and mentally. I’ve taken so much time to work on myself mentally and emotionally, and all my past relationship trauma, and I find that a lot of guys are still stuck in the past. It’s hard for me to date guys who haven’t done the work to strengthen their emotional and mental state. Many of them are still holding on to past relationship trauma that they still bring into the current relationship. That’s where my struggle is. I feel like I’m sooo out of reach with the level of work I’ve done on myself. Any feedback or suggestions? I would Love to hear what you have to say about this. Thank you for your amazing videos.
Love and an amazing relationship come when you least expect it sometimes when you are not looking at all. I want you to focus on having God and purpose in your life and let dating be that extra thing that you can enjoy as well.
You've done the work and deserve good things. To find answers to your problem, approach it coldly and clinically, and learn the mechanics of human social interaction. Learn about social proof theory, attachment theory, the law of propinquity, etc., and you'll understand why specific life stages are ideal environments to meet a significant other. Quit mainstream dating apps and become a member of a community where you can maximize your weak ties.
I could have wrote this myself to a T. And dating them damaged men can really mess with your healing and you go back 5 steps . A lot of men are stuck in the PST and using women to get there ego kicks .
Each relationship is an opportunity to learn about yourself and others. I begin relationships in the same basic way whether it turns into a friendship or more than a friend. Friendships are a good basic foundation on which to build, at least for me.
YES I'm 45 and sooo tired of the circle of dating. I don't even trust myself anymore and definitely can't seem to even want to try anymore. It's become sooo mundane. I give up
You need to change your focus from dating to learning, don't waste your time, and make sure you love yourself first then you will start to see more positive dating experiences.
Dating is SO much different! I find myself because of my empathy drawn into narcissistic relationships... friends and more. I need to find ME! And love ME!
Dating sucks! Men want to move so fast instead of actually dating me. I keep meeting representatives of men and their true colors show 6-9 months later.
I just addressed the issue in my 3 month dating situation... block and deleted another one.... just kinda disappointed. Reading your books- bought me a new mountain bike- finishing my book- Recording my music at the studio... finding my HAPPY 🥰 ❤️ thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, I’m done. It’s the quality of men that think they can come to me with zero effort. I’m trying online dating which I haven’t chatted with anyone worth me going out with.
Change your focus from dating to learning, don't waste your time, and make sure you love yourself first then you will start to see more positive dating experiences.
Yes! I was married for 20 years and have a healthy view on relationships. I gave myself 1.5 years to heal & do my work before attempting to date again. I find online dating less personal. It is very difficult to decipher who is being authentic online. Most people I am interested in are at a distance which makes it very difficult to really connect & feel someone’s energy. My relationship with God and abstinence is extremely important to me. I am trying to enjoy this in between time and be as patient as possible.
I'm actually learning how to do this, and I'm learning so much about myself. Teaching me somethings that I need to fix within myself. Im falling in love with myself. That's the most important thing..Also I can "cut people off" without taking it so personally.. my motto now is do RIGHT or get LEFT ❤
You said it PERFECTLY in the 1st 2 mins!!! Dating is about learning. I Love learning people. Gathering Data about another person, but also gathering data about yourself. Learning others helps me to learn more about me.
Agree 👍 DONT drag situations LONGER than it should!! That's wasting time. Yessss HAPPINESS Should Be WITHIN YOURSELF FIRST !!!!! That Healthy/Positive Energy Pours Out. 💘 😇🥰😍🤩
Yes, dating sucks. So difficult to find people I'm compatible with, and I meet people who are creepy, or I meet people that I really like but they don't feel the same way... It all feels like a big game. And I've never had a relationship that lasted longer than 6 months. Nothing has come of it that lasts. Is anyone actually wanting to create something serious any more? That wants marriage? I haven't experienced anything good yet. And I'm about to turn 30. I'm content being single at this point ☺️💗
Learning puts a whole new spin on the experience. Dont be consumed with the romantic expectations but rather the learning experience. Seek God first...."and all these things shall be added unto you." Thank you for your wisdom.
Yes this instagram life has created something that is false, everyone wants that life but do they really see what the couples are like off the gram, money, sex, I know sells, but in the long run that will fade away too. At the end of the day where is the stability, commitment, courage, caring, understanding, and ride or die mentality?
Thank you for your response, don't give up on dating yet, try changing your focus from dating to learning and you will start to see positive results in your dating experiences!
When it comes to dating I can’t speak for others but for me the first thing I needed to do was work on me It takes 2 So before i start pointing fingers and playing the blame game I had to see where maybe I could have went wrong It started with my healing, growth and forgiveness As I began to heal my mindset began to shift My worth mattered, I stopped settling and started believing in both myself and my worth I believe people today want loving and lasting relationships, but at what cost With a great relationship comes work We have to work on OURSELVES first a great relationship is never handed to anyone, work has to be put in on both ends That’s the problem today we want it but not the work required to get it and keep it
I'm just going to let it happen when I least expect it.. right now I'm focusing on God and having a closer relationship with Him....and I will let God do the rest... I will be open... thanks for your advice it helps alot
Not ready to give up on dating BUT ready to give up on dating too long the wrong person! Thanks for advising the importance of spirituality! Gratitude for your work 🙏
We definitely have to be happy within and with yourself alone before you enter a relationship. I definitely agree with that and once again you are amazing 💪🏿❤️✌🏿
I’ll give up on dating but I won’t give up on love that’s for sure. There’s a difference. It’s best to learn to love than to date. Dating sucks without the love. Remember that.
I whole heartedly agree dating does suck it’s just seems like nobody is on the same page. And I get them in and get them out and they always retaliate for a few days until I block them. I’m not looking for anything I’ll just wait until a good man that’s ready for me shows up and we connect entirely
Yep 👍🏻..after the fourth deceptive guy, one ex that lied for 6 months and then left me to go back to his ex ..now i'm focused on my health and money and kids and my spirituality. I will no longer give time and energy to them. It's social media has made way to many options and games now. I have talked to over 3000 guys on a dating site. Not one wanted anytype of relationship except for sex. It was fun learning tho. All experiences.
Thank you for your response, don't get tired of dating and give up on dating yet, try changing your focus from dating to learning and you will start to see positive results in your dating experiences!
Great video I'm constantly floating between "gotta have it, gotta have it" and not wanting to look for a relationship... My state of mind is that most women have someone and those that don't probably don't want me so thinking like that makes focusing on myself a little easier some days
I am holding myself to a standard. No matter how the rest of the world behaves, i am responsible for myself and my own happiness. Actions have a domino effect. Negative action can affect others the same as positive action. I always want to be the good i want to see in the world. Starting with me!
I’m so tired, and get hit up constantly everyday but no one wants a real relationship. I’m so done but I love listening to all the teaching your giving us sometime I think there’s hope. Then I get right back there again, I’m so tired, but I know we date for data and I’m trying but it’s just hard!
No. However...lol The last segment about developing your relationship with God is true! You will be calm, grounded and His peace will flow from you when you meet people.
I on my hand have had great experiences on the apps, many men were sweet n serious. I kinda felt bad for rejecting them or not taking things a step further. But i wasn't in the right mindset at that time (came out of an abusive real). I just wanted to leave this comment, bcus i see a lot of women have met bad men but there are many good men out there.
Thank you for this reminder,even though I haven’t had a lot of positive when it comes to dating,I am glad to hear someone else comment there’s still good mean out there ☺️.
That’s good to know ❤️ How did you attract them? The nice, good men don’t notice me & the ones that I tried to shot my shot at had either friend zoned me or rejected me... 😕
I don't think dating sucks, I think many of us just aren't doing it right. I'm not majorly experienced with dating yet but I believe that focusing on getting to know the other person's story instead of whether or not they are a good fit for you would help.
Honestly, I have done the work. I am genuinely happy! I feel like a duck in a gator pond! Dating seems so dangerous for a happy girl like me. My life is my own. A life partner is the last frontier. But.. Is it worth it?
Yes I feel dating sucks. I threw in my towel and waved my white flag. Too many games and my heart can’t take another break. 😢😞👎🏾 I healed from my relationships and poured love into me and God. At the age of 40 no kids I feel my time is quickly closing on me. Having a healthy positive marriage and kids are what I want most in my life. When is my time? I’ve prayed and am patiently waiting but my hope is dwindling. 🤷🏾♀️
I completely agree as I have and STILL do experience the best dates in the entire world; My dates with the King of Kings, Prince of Peace, The Great I Am - GOD. My earthly best date in the world is my gift from God - my son. We have done family night since he was a kid, and I still tell him; Thank you, son for being the best date a mom can have. Stephan is on point with this profound message. While being single NEVER stop dating God. I would simply add even when God sends you the right person CONTINUE your dates with God. May God continue to bestow his favor upon you Stephan. I look forward to reading The Man God Has for You. 🙏🏽
I give up on love and dating because I’ve been used, cheated, abused, and almost was driven to brink of deep depression. So I refuse to open myself and heart up to anyone again. Too much trauma in the bag and I feel like the guys I want doesn’t exist so yeah feel pretty defeated. I’d rather be alone than get hurt again
Thank you for your response, before you give up on dating try changing your focus from dating to learning and you will start to see positive results in your dating experiences!
Change your focus from dating to learning, don't waste your time, and make sure you love yourself first then you will start to see more positive dating experiences.
Happiness within is the key! Self-loathing ruined my last two relationships. I put the responsibility for my happiness on my partners and they grew tired when they couldn't get through to me. I've worked so hard on self-esteem and self-worth since being single and I really hope it pays off for my future life. I am now ready to enjoy everything life throws at me with someone else. I hope I haven't left it too late for what I want. PS. Dating apps have made me miserable. So unhealthy.
I’ve been allowing ppl that don’t belong in my life to drain me fr especially in the “dating” stage where I find myself getting hurt because I’m too emotionally involved. When I should’ve been walked away and I think I had a moment where I was desperate because I’m 28 and not married and no kids and I’m turning 29. But at the end of the day there’s a timing God has for me but I have a purpose to fulfill first cause because I rather have the love he has for me cause these little situations have been like dead end jobs. I want to finally have love reciprocated instead of being hurt and lied to
You need to change your focus from dating to learning, avoid wasting your time and make sure you love yourself first and you will start to see more positive dating experiences.
Dating doesn’t suck. The new era of dating sucks when you haven’t dated for a while. I take my time. I weed out the ones I want to date and the ones I don’t. I learned by teaching myself all the new terms; ghosting, peacocking, thirsty, etc. it’s so much too it now. I didn’t just learn to have better dates, I learned to have better dates with better potential partners. And I put God first in everything too. Thank you.
Just by listening to your words, my pain comes forth. I’ve been hurting since my ex left me & he left me 6 years ago😢 I wonder when am I going to let go this pain I have since he dump me!☹️
Yes, lately dating for me has been some unpleasant experiences, yet have been learning experiences as well. I am definitely more aware of what i need in a mate, and I am actively working on myself tuning the traits within myself that i am looking for in a mate(if that makes sense)
I’m going to finish listening to this post. I said I was done before I finished listening, but I have lost all confidence in myself because black man don’t seem to “see” me and it’s only so much rejection a person can take. It makes you want to just give up.
Kindly don't give up on dating yet before you try and change your focus from dating to learning, avoid wasting your time dating people who drain you emotionally, and start to make sure you love yourself first and you will start to see more positive dating experiences.
Took over a decade long break from dating, dipped my foot back in the pool and I’m on my way back out lol. Causing nothing but stress and weight loss for my already tiny frame lol. These men are handful. I’m a warm hearted person that looks young for my age and I refuse to let these ninjas destroy me.
Stephen... I love your content and I have learned a lot but something that is becoming clear to me... we need to acknowledge how our childhood affects our romantic relationships. And for those of us that are African American it’s even more difficult because so many of us have deep traumas. Everyone should look at their attachment styles before dating. Dating does SUCK. For women we are really at a loss because even if we attract men the quality of that is not as strong. Lastly, I 100% agree with what you said about expectations and learning. I think our expectations and most of us trying to fill “voids” through love creates more discouragement. Thank you for saying “what did I learn?” That’s important. Especially when you have been ghosted. Dating definitely sucks, but I think part of that has to do with our issues. A lot of people are low key avoidant attachments
Thank you for your commitment to your followers' well-being. You've said this to me before and now you've made a video to explain it. You are a TRUE blessing to us all. God Bless you Sir. You are great!
Great video!!!! I love the advice!!! & am presently working on ALL of this pertaining to working on myself. I haven’t had a date in years, however, I will definitely keep this new “learning” perspective in mind for when I do. Thanks for this mind shift!
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Yes dating sucks especially in this generation. No one take each other serious anymore
Yes, I feel you it ain't an easy situation but we need to focus on doing what is truly best!
We are in pandemic lol finding someone is a long-shot. Lol
@@allsmiles2160I know 😊 lool. On sky news they said that the lockdown could last up to two years. Life as we know it.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks People HAVE TO REALIZE it ALL starts from THE HEART AND MINSET of people. To me personally GOD TAKES CARE OF THAT IF PEOPLE OPEN THEIR HEARTS TO HIM , however, SADLY people don't want 😔 to.
@@sarahb6758 I definitely agree lol
I gave up because I could not and still don't understand why someone would look at me and think, let me play her for a fool.I im taking a break.
Thank you for your response, try changing your focus from dating to learning and you will start to see positive results in your dating experiences!
AMEN, EVODIA!!!!
Same here
I hear you !
Me too
Leave online dating alone and focus on old school interpersonal dating and skills.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Agreed! Dating apps are dreadful
I agree. I don't feel like that is natural, healthy, or normal.
It’s covid era, so it’s very low on meeting people the old school way smh it’s sad
Dang I just asked somebody what app they been using lol. I'm 40 and don't use apps lol
I haven't given up I'm learning the things about myself. Because I truly believe what God has for me it is for me.
You're absolutely right, change your focus from dating to learning!
True! Amen
Amen my motto
Amen my sister
❤
Yes dating can suck but I wouldn’t say overall that it does. I will say that it is hard to meet a really good guy who has good intentions though.
You're absolutely right!
True!
Preach!
@krystlecaffie You know what I would do in this situation (only if you're strong enough), I would have fun with them ONLY twice then cut them off.
What is your definition of a guy with good intentions?
Dating 110% sucks. I have pretty much completely given up on ever finding someone. I don’t think I even believe in love or soulmates anymore. There is no such thing as “happy ever after.” All love has ever given me is heartaches and I don’t ever want any part of that ever again!
It’s difficult to meet someone you even want to date.
Yes, it definitely isn't an easy situation.
True! It's all too much work. If Im praying to God about him, then Im just gonna wait for God to send him. Not gonna waste my time dating.
true
#Bingo
Yes, it sucks. Don’t have the energy right now to continue dating
Thank you for your response, don't give up on dating yet, try changing your focus from dating to learning and you will start to see positive results in your dating experiences!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks thanks for the encouragement. Just read two of your books (God where is my Boaz and He’s lying to you Sis) and I now see a different perspective. I plan to re-read both an use as my guideline to dating. I look forward to listening to your videos and reading more of your books.
I can definitely understand that! You are entitled to your feelings and your break from dating. Trying to find a good man by dating is like looking thru a dumpster of trash trying find your lost wedding band.
No just want to find someone that's healed and not toxic
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks welcome 🙂
God is your first love💞💯,
.......dating only sucks when you're looking for someone to offer you something, however when you have all your ducks in order you know that you are the prize to be won and dating is simply just finding out who will discover the prize as hidden . Adding more value , than trying to make value . Being a help mate NOT a help me take..😊
🙏🏾💞💪🏾
Blessings and love
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
So true!
We'll talk after 10 years and see if you still think the same 😁
God is all you need. People are not even worth bothering with anymore.
I want out of this planet. I'm done!
I’m done with dating. People in my city just want money, sex, they want to use you and waste your time 🥴
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal all you have been through! 🙏
I won’t give up dating because I deserve someone good for me. But it is a very tedious and draining process
I feel you, we have to focus on doing what is truly best!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks your videos tend to be more focused from the female perspective. Please produce more from a man’s perspective. You have men here who wish to better themselves and are open minded
2 1/2 mos. into my last relationship, I cut my losses. After discussing the level of disrespect & getting nowhere, I threw in the towel & never looked back. Great move on my part!
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal all you have been through! 🙏
Yes dating sucks I get so tried of coming across the wrong men uhh ugh
Kindly don’t say that, there are a lot of good men out there! You should try changing your focus from dating to learning and you will start to see positive results in your dating experiences!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Ok Thanks Your'e always so helpful and a burst of joy why can't all men be like you.
I feel you
Me too!
You guys say that to all men. I was a very qualified candidate but y’all find any little blemish on someone to walk away
It’s sad out here in the dating scene lol
I feel you, but we have to focus on doing what is truly best!
AMEN, B KANU!!!
Amen
Dating in my area sucks to me. I’m not feeling like “all men are bad” or “there’s no one for me”. But I truly do be exhausted with being cool with being alone, then getting with someone, being honest and open with them, and then they end up being trash. And it’s a difference between us having differences and deciding we aren’t a fit and someone being disrespectful and trash.
Yeah dating is a waste of time and money a lot of times. This gentleman gets it! Positivity, purpose, and higher power should be the focus always. Invest in yourself first. The rest will follow...
You're absolutely right!
Every date with a person is a lesson in disguise, there is so much we can learn from others. What we like don’t like etc, don’t give up! Sending love to everyone in their love journey ♥️💕
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
I live in NYC and yes I’m so ready to stop dating!! Dating sucks here! SOME if not most men are taken(married,baby mama or in a situationship) , in jail, gay, selfish, immature ,looking for help, users(just want sex and/or money) etc. After I do decide to date I’m disappointed, tired and I feel like I waste my time. If your a woman in your 30s time is valuable and important. I’m so good on dating. If God has a plan I’ll let him work it.
U ain’t neva lie🙌🏾🙌🏾
I agree 100% I say the same thing, and my current situation
Yeah, dating here in NYC...especially in your 30s is not too good. I get it. People just need to stop the game playing though...and be real and honest. Thats my thing. But Whatever. Lol
It definitely isn't an easy situation, but we need to focus on doing what is right!
That’s definitely nyc 😩😩😩😩.
I can attest to this! Once I changed my mind frame, the kind of men I attract are better and when I recognize something that doesn’t bring value into my life I let it go. You’re right people wanna move so quickly skipping that learning phase.
Yes ♥️♥️
Glad to hear that and thank you for sharing. I appreciate that!
I gave up already 🥺!!! I am calm, cool and collected, but I am not meeting quality men of the same age 50. People don’t know how to date. It’s sad. So, I am getting extremely comfortable being Single.
Comfortable is an understatement
Peace of mind is everything
I do agree with you on that note, men do not know how to date real women.
I totally agree
I will be 55 next month but don’t feel it ( most days) and the men in my (our) age group still act like they’re in high school! I’m not looking anymore. I’m just trying to live my best life and try not to think about dating much any more.
@@sophiekeeling2637 That’s right Queen live your best life😊😊.
No, I don’t feel dating sucks; just having trouble meeting men who are worthy of my time.
Jenn I feel you and with you on that!. Even harder due to Covid
Cause nowadays people base on looks more personality.
I definitely feel this 🥲
Not easy hang in there everyone
JennG please tell us guys about yourself. What do you bring to the table? Divorced, kids? Give us some insight
I'm over it for sure! I'm just not interested in men anymore. I'm happy by myself
Thank you for your response, don't give up on dating yet, try changing your focus from dating to learning and you will start to see positive results in your dating experiences!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you for the encouragement. My heart is focused on what God wants me to do with my life. I think I will just stay focused on Jesus Christ and let God Almighty do with me as He wants. I have to just let my wants go and give everything about me to God. He knows why He created me.
Yea I ghost, block & cut them off. I can try to communicate better, but we’re too old to be explaining to people. These men know exactly what they be doing & what they want. Happiness definitely comes from within💕
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate that!
Yeah I'm done - guy I was seeing just dropped the 'I'm not ready for a relationship' after a WHOLE year.
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal all you have been through! 🙏
Wow sorry to hear that
That’s very painful. I’m sorry you experienced that. There are some good men out there. Somewhere. I haven’t found him either but I’m not looking anymore either. I’m working on myself abs my personal relationship with God. Best wishes for you.
I’m sorry this happened to you but I have to ask why did you allow this “situationship” to go on for a whole year without having this convo sooner?
People will say you played yourself.
I need this video. Yes dating sucks & online is the worse.
Glad I could help!
Agree with you.
They're abusive online.
@@the_5th yes they are
I have had Good Experience on online dating for me. Have made Good Guy friends. 🙂🙃
I just said yesterday! I’m about to stop dating for the next 90 days and this came up today
Yes it’s sucks I’m 36 years old and I don’t have time for games yet I’m dating men in their 40’s and they are still wanting a night of fun and temporary casual things
Thank you for your response, try changing your focus from dating to learning and you will start to see positive results in your dating experiences!
Yeah, its crazy out there. SMH! Wish you the best though
You 36 already expired lol ....
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I’ll definitely change the mind set and make that more of a focus 🧘🏽♀️ thanks
@@jayc5756 thanks
I’ve learned to enjoy myself and the alone time I have. I’m so at peace and happy that I will not tolerate anyone who doesn’t add to my NEWNESS. Single for 8 yrs and I’m expecting real love but enjoying myself in the meantime. Awesome content Steph. Thank you🙏🏽
My pleasure ❤
Dating is complex because although I’m well footed in my spiritual journey, the men that approach me are not, and I can easily tell in conversation that their mindset has not grown and I have difficulty forming a bond with them. I don’t hold onto them, I let them go. I can’t waste my time. I want someone on my level mentally and spiritually and I’m not going to compromise that. I deserve a partner that compliments and speaks to my soul.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you! ❤️
YESSSSS SIS!!!!!!!!!
Spot on!
"Well footed in my spiritual journey" Sounds like you might wanna date a fukin teletubby
Unless he makes 6 figures right? 🤣
Yes Lord that’s where I am with dating! Dating sucks and I am over it. I’s Tieeeeed Boss lol 😂! Great video Stephan
Me too sis..
I third that 🤦🏾♀️😂
Boss, she ain’t working!
Patiently standing still patiently waiting for God to send me the HUSBAND he has FOR Me this time..I picked the wrong husband last time....
Thank you for sharing, I'm happy to hear that 🙌
No doubt. Wish you the best sis.
😂
It's ok girl we all fall pick the wrong man what matters is how you get back up 🙏
My biggest struggle with dating is finding someone that’s on the same level as me emotionally and mentally. I’ve taken so much time to work on myself mentally and emotionally, and all my past relationship trauma, and I find that a lot of guys are still stuck in the past. It’s hard for me to date guys who haven’t done the work to strengthen their emotional and mental state. Many of them are still holding on to past relationship trauma that they still bring into the current relationship. That’s where my struggle is. I feel like I’m sooo out of reach with the level of work I’ve done on myself. Any feedback or suggestions? I would
Love to hear what you have to say about this. Thank you for your amazing videos.
Love and an amazing relationship come when you least expect it sometimes when you are not looking at all. I want you to focus on having God and purpose in your life and let dating be that extra thing that you can enjoy as well.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks thank you! That was very well said.
You've done the work and deserve good things. To find answers to your problem, approach it coldly and clinically, and learn the mechanics of human social interaction. Learn about social proof theory, attachment theory, the law of propinquity, etc., and you'll understand why specific life stages are ideal environments to meet a significant other. Quit mainstream dating apps and become a member of a community where you can maximize your weak ties.
Wow I could have wrote this myself. Lol
I could have wrote this myself to a T. And dating them damaged men can really mess with your healing and you go back 5 steps . A lot of men are stuck in the PST and using women to get there ego kicks .
Each relationship is an opportunity to learn about yourself and others. I begin relationships in the same basic way whether it turns into a friendship or more than a friend. Friendships are a good basic foundation on which to build, at least for me.
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
YES
I'm 45 and sooo tired of the circle of dating. I don't even trust myself anymore and definitely can't seem to even want to try anymore. It's become sooo mundane. I give up
You need to change your focus from dating to learning, don't waste your time, and make sure you love yourself first then you will start to see more positive dating experiences.
Dating is SO much different! I find myself because of my empathy drawn into narcissistic relationships... friends and more. I need to find ME! And love ME!
💯 Yes!
Dating sucks! Men want to move so fast instead of actually dating me. I keep meeting representatives of men and their true colors show 6-9 months later.
Sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal all you have been through.
Or sooner! smh
Me too
Yesssss sista!! FACTS!!👏🏾
No, because I know when to fall back when I see those red flags, lack of chemistry or mere interest.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you! ❤️
I just addressed the issue in my 3 month dating situation... block and deleted another one.... just kinda disappointed. Reading your books- bought me a new mountain bike- finishing my book- Recording my music at the studio... finding my HAPPY 🥰 ❤️ thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Glad I could help!
Each person should be mature @ jump before they date. THEY can, at least, be honest & communicate their expectations
💯 Yes!
Yes!!!! But I refuse to give up and stop believing there are still “good ones” left.
Thats good sis 👍
Thank you for sharing, I'm happy to hear that 🙌
Same! ☺️
Yes, I’m done. It’s the quality of men that think they can come to me with zero effort. I’m trying online dating which I haven’t chatted with anyone worth me going out with.
Change your focus from dating to learning, don't waste your time, and make sure you love yourself first then you will start to see more positive dating experiences.
How much effort do you put in lol?COURT ME IM A WOMEN FROM THE 50s lol
It's called equality
Yes!
I was married for 20 years and have a healthy view on relationships. I gave myself 1.5 years to heal & do my work before attempting to date again. I find online dating less personal. It is very difficult to decipher who is being authentic online. Most people I am interested in are at a distance which makes it very difficult to really connect & feel someone’s energy. My relationship with God and abstinence is extremely important to me. I am trying to enjoy this in between time and be as patient as possible.
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
I'm actually learning how to do this, and I'm learning so much about myself. Teaching me somethings that I need to fix within myself. Im falling in love with myself. That's the most important thing..Also I can "cut people off" without taking it so personally.. my motto now is do RIGHT or get LEFT ❤
You said it PERFECTLY in the 1st 2 mins!!! Dating is about learning. I Love learning people. Gathering Data about another person, but also gathering data about yourself. Learning others helps me to learn more about me.
Agree 👍 DONT drag situations LONGER than it should!! That's wasting time. Yessss HAPPINESS Should Be WITHIN YOURSELF FIRST !!!!! That Healthy/Positive Energy Pours Out. 💘 😇🥰😍🤩
💯 Yes!
Yes, dating sucks. So difficult to find people I'm compatible with, and I meet people who are creepy, or I meet people that I really like but they don't feel the same way... It all feels like a big game. And I've never had a relationship that lasted longer than 6 months. Nothing has come of it that lasts. Is anyone actually wanting to create something serious any more? That wants marriage? I haven't experienced anything good yet. And I'm about to turn 30. I'm content being single at this point ☺️💗
Before you give up on dating try changing your focus from dating to learning and you will start to see positive results in your dating experiences!
Yes! This is the first time I’m solo and not entertaining anyone. Maybe one day I’ll date again.
Most definitely!
Learning puts a whole new spin on the experience. Dont be consumed with the romantic expectations but rather the learning experience. Seek God first...."and all these things shall be added unto you." Thank you for your wisdom.
Yes this instagram life has created something that is false, everyone wants that life but do they really see what the couples are like off the gram, money, sex, I know sells, but in the long run that will fade away too. At the end of the day where is the stability, commitment, courage, caring, understanding, and ride or die mentality?
YES. I'm done
Thank you for your response, don't give up on dating yet, try changing your focus from dating to learning and you will start to see positive results in your dating experiences!
When it comes to dating I can’t speak for others but for me the first thing I needed to do was work on me It takes 2 So before i start pointing fingers and playing the blame game I had to see where maybe I could have went wrong It started with my healing, growth and forgiveness As I began to heal my mindset began to shift My worth mattered, I stopped settling and started believing in both myself and my worth I believe people today want loving and lasting relationships, but at what cost With a great relationship comes work We have to work on OURSELVES first a great relationship is never handed to anyone, work has to be put in on both ends That’s the problem today we want it but not the work required to get it and keep it
You're absolutely right many will want you but a few will invest in you!
Well sir I’m going monk mode. I don’t even feel like sharpening up to go out. I’m fixing up my place and saving money.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Yessssssss dating sucks. 😥 BUT I don't want to give up on Love
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
I'm just going to let it happen when I least expect it.. right now I'm focusing on God and having a closer relationship with Him....and I will let God do the rest... I will be open... thanks for your advice it helps alot
Glad to hear that, thank you for your feedback!
Loooove that- “focus on learning”.. that’s my new dating mantra
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Not ready to give up on dating BUT ready to give up on dating too long the wrong person!
Thanks for advising the importance of spirituality!
Gratitude for your work 🙏
We definitely have to be happy within and with yourself alone before you enter a relationship. I definitely agree with that and once again you are amazing 💪🏿❤️✌🏿
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
I’ll give up on dating but I won’t give up on love that’s for sure. There’s a difference. It’s best to learn to love than to date. Dating sucks without the love. Remember that.
I whole heartedly agree dating does suck it’s just seems like nobody is on the same page. And I get them in and get them out and they always retaliate for a few days until I block them. I’m not looking for anything I’ll just wait until a good man that’s ready for me shows up and we connect entirely
A connection is definitely key!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks thank you 😊 it really means a lot. Big supporter 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Yep 👍🏻..after the fourth deceptive guy, one ex that lied for 6 months and then left me to go back to his ex ..now i'm focused on my health and money and kids and my spirituality. I will no longer give time and energy to them. It's social media has made way to many options and games now. I have talked to over 3000 guys on a dating site. Not one wanted anytype of relationship except for sex. It was fun learning tho. All experiences.
No I am not ready to give up Dating.
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
I’m not giving up on dating 💕💕💕 I’m ready with open mind and an open heart but I will not be a fool 💯
Tired of dating? I can't even get someone so far to stick around for a friendship?
Thank you for your response, don't get tired of dating and give up on dating yet, try changing your focus from dating to learning and you will start to see positive results in your dating experiences!
It has its advantages and disadvantages... When its one sided it sucks but when two people are on one accord, its cool.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Create happiness in You & God first! Yessss Sir! I love this❤️❤️❤️
Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌
Great video I'm constantly floating between "gotta have it, gotta have it" and not wanting to look for a relationship... My state of mind is that most women have someone and those that don't probably don't want me so thinking like that makes focusing on myself a little easier some days
I am holding myself to a standard. No matter how the rest of the world behaves, i am responsible for myself and my own happiness. Actions have a domino effect. Negative action can affect others the same as positive action. I always want to be the good i want to see in the world. Starting with me!
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
I’m so tired, and get hit up constantly everyday but no one wants a real relationship. I’m so done but I love listening to all the teaching your giving us sometime I think there’s hope. Then I get right back there again, I’m so tired, but I know we date for data and I’m trying but it’s just hard!
Try changing your focus from dating to learning and you will start to see positive results in your dating experiences!
I truly will and will have updates. Thanks for all you do!
No. However...lol
The last segment about developing your relationship with God is true! You will be calm, grounded and His peace will flow from you when you meet people.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you! ❤️
Being honest about the people I'm attracting sucks! But I'm doing the work and making the right changes.
I'm sorry to hear about that but I'm glad you are now on a path to doing the work 🙌❤
I on my hand have had great experiences on the apps, many men were sweet n serious. I kinda felt bad for rejecting them or not taking things a step further. But i wasn't in the right mindset at that time (came out of an abusive real). I just wanted to leave this comment, bcus i see a lot of women have met bad men but there are many good men out there.
Thank you very much for sharing I'm happy to hear that ❤🙌 🙌 🙌
Thank you for this reminder,even though I haven’t had a lot of positive when it comes to dating,I am glad to hear someone else comment there’s still good mean out there ☺️.
@trendafile thanks for sharing
That’s good to know ❤️ How did you attract them? The nice, good men don’t notice me & the ones that I tried to shot my shot at had either friend zoned me or rejected me... 😕
How can you say that if you rejected them and was not serious in return? Foolishness
I don't think dating sucks, I think many of us just aren't doing it right. I'm not majorly experienced with dating yet but I believe that focusing on getting to know the other person's story instead of whether or not they are a good fit for you would help.
Honestly, I have done the work. I am genuinely happy! I feel like a duck in a gator pond! Dating seems so dangerous for a happy girl like me. My life is my own. A life partner is the last frontier. But.. Is it worth it?
I’m focused on myself and honestly I’m 24 and I don’t care too much about a relationship or dating right now
Yes, even the word "dating" sounds bad. Some men are playing games & not being real. And Covid-19 doesn't help the situation.
Yes, it definitely isn't an easy situation.
Yes I feel dating sucks. I threw in my towel and waved my white flag. Too many games and my heart can’t take another break. 😢😞👎🏾 I healed from my relationships and poured love into me and God. At the age of 40 no kids I feel my time is quickly closing on me. Having a healthy positive marriage and kids are what I want most in my life. When is my time? I’ve prayed and am patiently waiting but my hope is dwindling. 🤷🏾♀️
I completely agree as I have and STILL do experience the best dates in the entire world; My dates with the King of Kings, Prince of Peace, The Great I Am - GOD.
My earthly best date in the world is my gift from God - my son. We have done family night since he was a kid, and I still tell him; Thank you, son for being the best date a mom can have.
Stephan is on point with this profound message. While being single NEVER stop dating God. I would simply add even when God sends you the right person CONTINUE your dates with God.
May God continue to bestow his favor upon you Stephan. I look forward to reading The Man God Has for You. 🙏🏽
Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌
Yes
I give up on love and dating because I’ve been used, cheated, abused, and almost was driven to brink of deep depression. So I refuse to open myself and heart up to anyone again. Too much trauma in the bag and I feel like the guys I want doesn’t exist so yeah feel pretty defeated. I’d rather be alone than get hurt again
Yes I'm done but I love here you ..
Yeah... you're done today. 😆
Faxts
Thank you for your response, before you give up on dating try changing your focus from dating to learning and you will start to see positive results in your dating experiences!
Yes. I already gave up on dating.
Change your focus from dating to learning, don't waste your time, and make sure you love yourself first then you will start to see more positive dating experiences.
Yes, the relationship with God will definitely keep you safe with the sound mind and loved. 💪🏿❤️✌🏿
Most definitely
Happiness within is the key! Self-loathing ruined my last two relationships. I put the responsibility for my happiness on my partners and they grew tired when they couldn't get through to me. I've worked so hard on self-esteem and self-worth since being single and I really hope it pays off for my future life.
I am now ready to enjoy everything life throws at me with someone else. I hope I haven't left it too late for what I want.
PS. Dating apps have made me miserable. So unhealthy.
I’ve been allowing ppl that don’t belong in my life to drain me fr especially in the “dating” stage where I find myself getting hurt because I’m too emotionally involved. When I should’ve been walked away and I think I had a moment where I was desperate because I’m 28 and not married and no kids and I’m turning 29. But at the end of the day there’s a timing God has for me but I have a purpose to fulfill first cause because I rather have the love he has for me cause these little situations have been like dead end jobs. I want to finally have love reciprocated instead of being hurt and lied to
You need to change your focus from dating to learning, avoid wasting your time and make sure you love yourself first and you will start to see more positive dating experiences.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks thank you so much for your response! I will definitely apply your advice to my life ❤️
I haven’t given up on dating, I’m yet to be on a real date, but I’m learning and trusting God to lead me in the right path.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate that!
Dating doesn’t suck. The new era of dating sucks when you haven’t dated for a while. I take my time. I weed out the ones I want to date and the ones I don’t. I learned by teaching myself all the new terms; ghosting, peacocking, thirsty, etc. it’s so much too it now. I didn’t just learn to have better dates, I learned to have better dates with better potential partners. And I put God first in everything too. Thank you.
My pleasure ❤
YES .....especially when you know what your looking for
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
I think it’s important to enjoy the process. It’s a journey.
You're absolutely right, enjoy the process and learn.
Just by listening to your words, my pain comes forth. I’ve been hurting since my ex left me & he left me 6 years ago😢 I wonder when am I going to let go this pain I have since he dump me!☹️
Healing is definitely key and my book Love After Heartbreak will help you. Get your copy of "Love After Heartbreak" here: www.loveafterheartbreak.com
Yes, lately dating for me has been some unpleasant experiences, yet have been learning experiences as well. I am definitely more aware of what i need in a mate, and I am actively working on myself tuning the traits within myself that i am looking for in a mate(if that makes sense)
Thank you for these videos! It was really nice to meet you this evening!
My pleasure ❤
Yes!! Dating can be extremely exhausting, and challenging.
It definitely isn't an easy situation we need to change our focus from dating to learning
I’m going to finish listening to this post. I said I was done before I finished listening, but I have lost all confidence in myself because black man don’t seem to “see” me and it’s only so much rejection a person can take. It makes you want to just give up.
Kindly don't give up on dating yet before you try and change your focus from dating to learning, avoid wasting your time dating people who drain you emotionally, and start to make sure you love yourself first and you will start to see more positive dating experiences.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Appreciate it Bruh! I’m going to try. 🙏🏽
I love how you look at life and love though. You are amazing 💪🏿❤️✌🏿 Thank you for all your time and energy.
My pleasure ❤
Took over a decade long break from dating, dipped my foot back in the pool and I’m on my way back out lol. Causing nothing but stress and weight loss for my already tiny frame lol. These men are handful. I’m a warm hearted person that looks young for my age and I refuse to let these ninjas destroy me.
Stephen... I love your content and I have learned a lot but something that is becoming clear to me... we need to acknowledge how our childhood affects our romantic relationships. And for those of us that are African American it’s even more difficult because so many of us have deep traumas. Everyone should look at their attachment styles before dating. Dating does SUCK. For women we are really at a loss because even if we attract men the quality of that is not as strong. Lastly, I 100% agree with what you said about expectations and learning. I think our expectations and most of us trying to fill “voids” through love creates more discouragement. Thank you for saying “what did I learn?” That’s important. Especially when you have been ghosted. Dating definitely sucks, but I think part of that has to do with our issues. A lot of people are low key avoidant attachments
Thank you for your commitment to your followers' well-being. You've said this to me before and now you've made a video to explain it. You are a TRUE blessing to us all. God Bless you Sir. You are great!
Great video!!!! I love the advice!!! & am presently working on ALL of this pertaining to working on myself. I haven’t had a date in years, however, I will definitely keep this new “learning” perspective in mind for when I do. Thanks for this mind shift!
Thank you for sharing, I'm glad you are on a path to working on yourself 🙌❤
Yes, I'm tired of learning new people and telling ppl about myself.. It gets old and is tiresome.
I feel you, but we have to focus on doing what is truly best!
Dating sometimes it so confusing coz we end up getting players that makes us fed up
Yes, it definitely isn't an easy situation.