*NEW SUMMER 2024* I now offer self-guided *online courses* to help women of ANY age and experience level CRUSH those single streets FASTER and more efficiently! 🙂 Check out my course offerings here 👉 www.boyfriendblueprint.com/courses
Its really hard to say no when you love sex lol. But if you want to find a permanent guy start saying no! If you give sex on the first date the guy is going to think you were too easy and say goodbye to him. I only made that mistake once he was gorgeous hot he asked me on a date but he was so dam gorgeous lust got in the way. Sexy nice body. I wanted to continue seeing him but he said I was too easy on the 1st date and never seen him again. I learned that lesson the hard way.
True...mine made it a point of making sure he wouldn't flake, because the last guy I dated stood me up at a fancy 'do. But, he ha pulled away, and he does use me as a 'doormat' as my friends say, fast forward a few years. Did I blow it?
Is it so hard to be simple? Like tell your feeling to the other person and just be honest with each other? Why so many games, so many "tests" etc? Just f*kin speak your mind damn it!
I know how you feel 😔 manipulating someone just so you can be with them is disingenuous. If you can not be real in the beginning of the relationship how are you going to survive later down the road?
When a guy flakes on me, that’s the end for me. Done finito! I don’t waste time. It’s like a job interview. If you come late or bail, they will look for another prospective employee. It’s that simple. A real man will show up because he’s serious about wanting to know you.
Yes. And also, be honest. If you have a different opinion or don't agree with him, don't be afraid to admit it, but don't be rude about it. Have the mindset of, "Even though I don't agree with your opinion, I am still open to it." Relationships aren't about extensions of each other, they're about two separate people with their own beliefs and opinions who are willing to work together and compromise in areas to make the relationship work.
Friends often ask me why I'm interested in older guys. People say why? they are too old, only for money etc. But my experience with that is, I'm addicted to maturity. That's what I've been always looking for. They value women higher. They want intimacy, honest conversations. I prefer that.
I was so happy when he said the word was "NO". The last thing I wanted to hear was someone saying why people should say yes to everything and everyone all the time. Recognizing when to say NO in relationships or other areas of life is so valuable. There's a book called essentialism by Greg Mckeown that's pretty amazing and they talk all about the many different ways to decline something (at work, in a career, social schedule, family etc). It's definitely worth the read and works well with this video. Thanks Ryan for posting this!
Ryan Patrick my boyfriend is 23 I’m 30 I used to Make myself available to him whenever. I was basically doing everything you say not to 🤭 texting back right away always down to hang out . I pulled back I started making boundaries and setting rules for myself like I’m not gonna text him back right away I’m not gonna answer the phone every single time he calls and just making myself a little bit more mysterious and it’s working and it’s driving him nuts not knowing what I am doing not always being available to him and telling him No he’s loving it! We met on tinder it was just supposed to be a hook up then we fell in love an had a baby an we have been in a off period in the relationship somehow came across ur channel You’re the first person to actually get straight to the point and a video and tell us exactly what we need to do without all the extra stuff and it works it really works My relationship right now couldn’t be better we’re back on track we’re back to how we were in the beginning and I love it thank you so much
I have been a widow for 7 years I tried to date after mourning and dating didn't work for me so I decided to NOT date ANYMORE AT ALL. I'M HAPPY BEING SINGLE. Dating is TO much work.
Relly do. Make you tired just lost my love husband l love him very much going out for 6 yers marry 20 yers lost him 7 month ago to fine other man abit to much for me now
They won't like you if you do this, they won't like you if you do that....waaaaay to much work. I have never been married either, and I just do not care if i hold my mouth right, text the wrong thing, do the wrong thing anymore. Men do not care....I don't either.
To much work towind the man heart ldo the same thing after mourning didn't work l decided to stay with my feeling rembering my laet my husband all time very lonely but then no much l can do 😢
I said no for almost a month when we started dating and he still 4 months later can’t believe I made him wait that long. Think it made him want me more 😉
This is so true... everytime when I say NO , a guy goes crazy he will always take it like a challenge to get me to say Yes so I like to give them that challenge but with a tease.
You have to hold off on being intimate because it helps you dish out "the player". Because I went slow, two guys showed up as players right away. AKA, they got another girl pregnant that I didn't even know about very quickly. Trying to get pregnant is NOT the way to try to nail the guy. It hopefully becomes the merging of two lives. Yes, time flies but you really want to try to set boundaries that work with your life.....your trying to get him into "your world".
What about midlife dating...dating in your 40's.. Things are so different..Men are lonely and needy or play to many games and woman in our 40's are over the bs.
Christina Conkle I’ve dated men in their 30s and 40s. I’m 36. Last guy I dated was 44. Apparently, they’re still into all the f-ing games. Unfortunately we have to play games forever
Try being in your 50's. Might as well be invisible. And yeah, all of that applies to this age as well. I think a lot of it's because men who are single later in life have issues that are the reason they're still single, or are divorced (same thing applies as to why they're divorced), or they have all of these fears from their last relationship, or they want to play around if they were married a long time and think they've missed out.
Yup I can completely agree. I date older men and I personally prefer it that way. I am in a open relationship with my friend, he is alot older like 25 years older then me. I have known him for years so we were friends first and now we have been lover for 4 years.
This is true, Ryan. Especially if he asks for sex too soon. I'm thankful I've never been afraid to say no, even when I was newly divorced and in my late 20s.
Omg my friend is 65 and he still like this every thing has to revolve around his schedule. And I finally was like no I have plans and a schedule of my own so get use to it. Since I started not letting our time revolve around his schedule I have noticed a big difference.
@@datingcoachryanpatrick I am binge watching you bigtime! Even as a "mature woman" with life lessons behind me, we are still women and men wanting love and holding onto it for the long haul.
All these petty mind games just suck. People should just say yes if they mean yes and no when no. If God has a man for you, then all that is not necessary.
Good One right im soooo tired of getting on YT and everyone wants you to play games act like you dont care even into marriage saying dont have emotions dont you dareeeee love that man god forbid🙄😔 even he hes your husband dont trust him push them away. Dont tell them anything about you cause no one cares these days. Dont love anybody while your at it too! Its a dog eat dog world🙄like no how about we be good and respect each other both sides and stop giving men excuses to play a game 😂 crazy cause i dont have time to put energy into making someone think idgaf about them?!?! Rather put that into living my real life
@@lolarodriguez9284 Exactly. All these mind games are just a waste of time. If the man wants a woman just say it flat out. The woman on the receiving end, if you're into him, then just say yes or no if you're not. People are too old to be playing games. Men and women should both learn to master the honest gesture of rejection from another person. Stop trying to let every no hurt your confidence. Better accept an honest no, than he/she having to play all these mind games. Honesty is still the best policy in my book. All these games are just time consuming and meaningless. By the time you are done playing all these games, you are old, not sexy and worn out.
Good One right those are the shitty people. They dont deserve us anyways. Im not playing games with shitty people anymore! Just to end up with a shitty prize that i know nothing about. No, im gonna give the right one the chance idk. Ive always felt the most love when we were friends first THEN fell to love each other so much that way they knew almost everything about me im comfortable confident and not being intentionally hurt played with or lied to. In my eyes real friends dont hurt their friends so its not the same playing field its equal level fun and trusting. You can love and care for a friend but still sleep sound at night knowing theyll be there for you to call on the next day and they can look forward to you too you dont expect sex answers or to be lied to cause you shouldnt really do that to anyone. I believe lying and cheating will ruin any relationship and after that its over. Your right people need to stop playing games.
IF you mean it. I believe games are disingenuous, but the other person is not always genuine and honest either. Go with your heart but keep your head too. Most importantly, pay attention to your intuition. Pay attention to how you FEEL when you perceive the other's body language; it could save your life. Don't fall for love-bombing. I recommend learning about how toxic people target you. There's lots of stuff in you tube about that.
@@goodone8516 Let me guess you're probably an older person, tired of life etc... but you missed the whole point. And for that I guess that's why you're in that miserable situation. You should of been wiser and said NO, more often
I did all those things in the beginning correctly and just was broken up with after an almost two year relationship and we had such a great relationship! I guess I didn't say no enough
i find it harder because in your 20s you're driven by your hormones and passion, and in your 40s it takes a little longer to get there....you actually have to focus on other things first.
Ryan, here's a phrase I'm curious to hear your thoughts on when a woman is absolutely done with a guy who played her: "You are not nice." My therapist told me to use this phrase and the TWO times I've used it, guys completely FLIP THEIR LID. Lol. It's great. But it's definitely only reserved for when all hell broke loose and I'm not trying to fix things with them. What is going on in a guy's mind when their "nice guy reputation" is tarnished or threatened by this phrase?
I'm 24, hopefully I find someone to stick with tired of all this dating and already been married once! Can I just be who I'm supposed to be with!!! Sheesh
I recently went out with a guy that talked about his ex gf a lot .. he said they actually had lunch 2 weeks ago.. 3 dates in and i asked him if was over her yet.. And he said.. no sorry.. but I’m trying to get myself back out there.. and build memories with someone else.. blah blah blah.. red flag right?? Would love to see a video addressing some red flags like these and if i should run the other way when he tells me this.. i surely don’t want to be his “crutch” to help him get over her but i also don’t want to miss out on a potential great guy.. lol.. I’m 52 btw..
I need to watch this on repeat. I think this has made me realize why I'm such a jerk magnet. I tend to be a pushover. I'm currently dealing with a guy who wants to have sex with me but doesn't want to be in a relationship. Apparently I need to be more firm with my "no" instead of "Well, if things were this way...". Thank you so much for the wake up call.
Yes but if you always say no then a man will get sick of you and walk away .I must say you have given the best advice and are one of the most down to earth dating coaches that I ever come across.
I'm in a new relationship, just been a month now and I am learning a lot from you. I will start to implement these and will come back to comment. I did learn a lot from your "how to text a guy" video and wish I had watched it before I started texting him because I really messed up many times as he hates texting
You Seem To Be Going Thru Something Emotional In This Video. I Can Tell Because I Can See It In Your Eyes. I Am Sending You Lots Of Love And Prayers. 💕🙏💕
I hate playing these silly games! Just get to know each other if there’s any attraction. Honesty all the way. If you like someone, you want to see them, why postpone that. Communication- learning their views on IMPORTANT topics is key! People don’t communicate properly. Anyone can go kissing and cuddling etc etc- but we are all unique in our thought patterns (or so we should be)! Relationships SHOULD start from the neck up!!! How we think is what makes us so different!
Hey Ryan, I just started watching your videos. You are awesome. I am clueless when it comes to guys and I decided it's time to change that. Thanks for all the great tips. I am 61 years old and became single again after a 20 year marriage ended in divorce 3 years ago. Wow have things changed in the dating world. I currently met a man that has me spinning and I don't know quite how to handle finding out if he feels the same way.
Can you do a video on men that are extremely smart, bookworms or he's in a genius status and how to handle a relationship from the beginning and what to do to date and keep them because those type of men have no common sense, they are a little slow when it comes to dating and relationships😔 no shade but it's the truth
Vala Dina RIGHT?!? I met my "genius" father at age 30. 15 years later he puts a "break up" letter in my birthday card...and completely ceases all communication. I think all men are the same. Just jerks....
I would suggest you to watch Amy Farrah Fowler dating Sheldon Cooper on TBBT :-) she is also a genius, but she has great interpersonal skills with this genius guy that is almost unbearably quirky xx
Incredibly, they’re just the same as all men. Unfortunately I’m a pushover, and not with just men. I dated a math genius, but his emotional intelligence was less than average. He didn’t like when I enjoyed listening to him explain theories. I had no idea he didn’t. Literally he broke up with me Just because of that. Ryan explained men don’t like to be put on a pedestal, basically that’s what I did. Made me look undeserving and lowered my respect.
Wow you're cool thanks...it is easy to say no because he lives in another country. .then again it would be hard to say no if he visits,because he lives in another country. But I understand your point...he'd respect me more, and I'll respect myself...so no it is!...it'll be so dam hard but I'll do it because I'll see if this will help him either stay or go for good...and by that I'll have my dignity in tact still...and that he'd know I'm not easy like I was way back then hahaha 🤔Btw we were teenagers in love...and it's been years and years since I've seen him...
I just subscribed to your channel recently. I love watching your videos. I like the way you deliver your words, it's just like you are full of emotions. Very interesting. 😊
I waited a 1 and a half years for sex, asked me to come over one night and I was busy he went on a trip with some friends. Got back from the trip and didn't call me or text me for a week. Finally I asked him what's going on. He asked me to come over I told him I was busy. I offered the next day he said he wasn't home. I said ok another time. The next day he told me he was on his way home. I asked if I could go over in a few minutes. Her never answered. I went over and every light in his house was off his car in the driveway. I left and didn't message him. 2 days later he sent me 😁😄😁😄 what does that mean. Is he laughing at me
Hey Ryan, I get your reasoning behind the saying no to his first request for a first date BUT - What if it's an amazing opportunity like a concert?? And he already has the tickets?? And doesn't ask you to pay for your ticket?? I bring up this scenario because this happened to me. A guy I knew through friends and I had started talking and as timing would have it - his first date proposal was for a Metallica concert! NO WAY in this lifetime or any other would I say no to that haha!!! C'mon!!! Haha 😁
I'm seeing a doctor so I can't say no to him. He already has so little time for himself so any time that he can spare to be with me is precious. I'm always the one who initiates, plans, and executes; he continually follows my plans happily. If I say no to him and apply the principle of he-should-always-initiate then I guess I can never date a seriously busy and hardworking man.
I'm taking all your advice for the future! I'm in school so I'm not looking now but I'll think about this if a guy asks me out. Thank you for your tips!
Ok so these videos are great and very specific. Although I need step by step instructions. 😂 So for the first date I say "no" but set up another day to meet up? Also you said it helps to see the guy once a week because I should be busy. What if I can't fill up my whole week to do things? Would I lie and make something up? But then on the flipside it would seem inauthentic and I'm sure a guy can pick up on that.. 😣
I've watched your videos for hours at a time... have taken notes.... etc etc.. but I cant watch anymore. I need a break to get myself together... I know I am an AMAZING woman.. It just sucks because I found this AMAZING man but I think I got into the "I'm his" mindset MUCH too early... It really makes me sad because things were going SOOOO well. I mean, so well to the point that I could potentially see him as a future husband.. I feel like I let myself down. I was sooo happy.. I feel like there is STILL some way he might be interested.. but the worst thing is..... it's 50/50... He will either want me and pursue me or not.... I am so disappointed... I told ALL my friends and family about him. He is literally the man of my dreams...
LOL! This reminds me of the story of a gal who said no to a first date, and when he asked her why she said she was helping her friend with a tupperware party [blew his mind]. He didn't believe it, so he figured out where her friend lived and went there to check up on her story, and there she was. He decided she was awesome because she didn't break her word to her friend to go on a date. [I don't know if this is a real story or not, but it sort of drives the point home]
There's a song in Spanish, written and interpreted by a famous Hispanic singer. The title of the song is "Dime Que No", (tell me no, in Spanish).I was thinking about the lyrics the other day. The lyrics say: tell me NO and you will have me thinking about you all day, trying to find a strategy to get you to say YES. The song has really interesting lyrics.
Tried this with three different guys. It had the opposite effect. 😕 I know not every bit of advice on this channel applies to every guy in every situation. So, I take it in stride.
Hey Jess! Honestly, it could certainly be that these were just the wrong guys for you. “No” is one of the healthiest words you can use with someone. It implies boundaries. A man who is adversely affected by hearing it may be one of those “his way or the highway” types who will be *miserable* to be with and try to please. So yes, definitely take it in stride, but also look at your use of “No” as a natural screener in the dating arena 😉
one of my dates that ghosted me did give me the best thing about no: "Sometimes no is a better yes." He started second sexting and I said no. He ignored me and so I said,"No is a better yes." I love these videos!
I am currently in a bit of a unique situation. A very casual acquaintance and I realized we were possibly interested in each other romantically several months ago, like late 2019. His career, however, which is taking off (very happy for him!) takes him out of town and country for extended lengths of time. I can deal with that. Well, due to Corona, he got locked down in Montreal and could not come back to the States, which he was going to do, before going on to London and another project. We have been talking at least once a week during all this time. And our conversations are very in-depth, not just small talk. So, we've still not had an "official first date". But when his part in this London project has a break and he's able to get home for a while, we are definitely getting together asap. Thing is he may only be here for a month or so until his next project or having to go back to London to wrap things up there. My point being, we are definitely going to want sex included asap (as long as we both test negative for covid, of course.) So, would this be a "too easy" move, considering the circumstances? I'd like to believe not. :-)
I've never had a guy flake on me, but based on my personality and lack of social cues, I would probably take it as a sign of him not being interested in me, and therefore not worth wasting my time with. If he was genuinely interested in me, but just wanted to test me, he would find himself stranded at the dock because the ship just sailed.
I said no to a guy for month with he tried being physical and he lost interest in me. I wasn’t upset. Another time (months apart) another guy didn’t want to talk to me, cause I was “too busy” with work. Trying to date this year is tiring. 😂
If I had to continuously do this to someone to get their attention and get no response, and feel uncomfortable doing it, I will continue to be a nuisance and send that person a text just to confirm that they are a jerk for tuning me out, that horrible person.
*NEW SUMMER 2024*
I now offer self-guided *online courses* to help women of ANY age and experience level CRUSH those single streets FASTER and more efficiently! 🙂
Check out my course offerings here 👉 www.boyfriendblueprint.com/courses
i'm 33 second in....... the word is NO. i need to start using the word NO much more often. NO more yes girl
Danielle Summers good for you xx
Yea im gonna say no
Practice in the mirror
Its really hard to say no when you love sex lol. But if you want to find a permanent guy start saying no! If you give sex on the first date the guy is going to think you were too easy and say goodbye to him. I only made that mistake once he was gorgeous hot he asked me on a date but he was so dam gorgeous lust got in the way. Sexy nice body. I wanted to continue seeing him but he said I was too easy on the 1st date and never seen him again. I learned that lesson the hard way.
This is so true... have you ever wondered why the guys we keep on saying NO are the same guy that keeps on pursuing us...
Spot on. I'm just afraid that saying "no" to the man I actually like will lead him to contact someone else. 😭
They think you're playing hard to get
@@hopewilliams7081 could be true, but i think after 2 years of "nah, no thanks" some dudes should get it..
If a guy flakes on me he will never hear from me again.
Exactly!
True...mine made it a point of making sure he wouldn't flake, because the last guy I dated stood me up at a fancy 'do. But, he ha pulled away, and he does use me as a 'doormat' as my friends say, fast forward a few years. Did I blow it?
The word..No..will have him stalking you 🤪
Next, you're too immature for me is all I think if a guy flakes on me.
Sorry to tell you, the immaturity lasts into the late 30s and often the 40s.
... And even the 50's
Keep going.. my dad is 70 and still immature
It never ends lol
Well immaturity has nothing to do with age it has to do with your mentality. The way you are and the way you react to the world around you.
Yes..and it seem that the older don’t know what to do with a grown women..they be over playful to cover their lack of shivery
Basically it shows you respect yourself
and if he will not respect you're saying 'No", drop him.
PERIOD😚
Is it so hard to be simple? Like tell your feeling to the other person and just be honest with each other? Why so many games, so many "tests" etc? Just f*kin speak your mind damn it!
I know how you feel 😔 manipulating someone just so you can be with them is disingenuous. If you can not be real in the beginning of the relationship how are you going to survive later down the road?
@@Xiolee1 exactly
Thats what I always do..
Thank you! PREACH girl! 👏🙌
Exactly!
When a guy flakes on me, that’s the end for me. Done finito! I don’t waste time. It’s like a job interview. If you come late or bail, they will look for another prospective employee. It’s that simple. A real man will show up because he’s serious about wanting to know you.
You are 💯on point! I have been telling ppl that “no” is a complete answer. Just don’t over explain yourself. Just be respectful.
Yes. And also, be honest. If you have a different opinion or don't agree with him, don't be afraid to admit it, but don't be rude about it. Have the mindset of, "Even though I don't agree with your opinion, I am still open to it."
Relationships aren't about extensions of each other, they're about two separate people with their own beliefs and opinions who are willing to work together and compromise in areas to make the relationship work.
Friends often ask me why I'm interested in older guys. People say why? they are too old, only for money etc. But my experience with that is, I'm addicted to maturity. That's what I've been always looking for. They value women higher. They want intimacy, honest conversations. I prefer that.
I was so happy when he said the word was "NO". The last thing I wanted to hear was someone saying why people should say yes to everything and everyone all the time. Recognizing when to say NO in relationships or other areas of life is so valuable. There's a book called essentialism by Greg Mckeown that's pretty amazing and they talk all about the many different ways to decline something (at work, in a career, social schedule, family etc). It's definitely worth the read and works well with this video. Thanks Ryan for posting this!
Emily Wunderlich Yes or you'll burn out or stress so much you will eventually be snappy w the ppl u live or work with.
🙌🏼🙌🏼Emily!
I’m binge watching your videos. Keep them coming!
Yay! Awesome, Inga! Thank for watching! 😃
Same here, even as I’m falling asleep I’ll play them 🙂
Inga Litvinsky ...👌🏾😅
Why are his videos so soothing?
Me too!
I’ve applied everything you are teaching an OMG IS IT WORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙏 THANK YOU
Awesome Jessy! 🙌🏼 I love to hear that!! Can you give me an example of a positive outcome that occurred for you recently?
Ryan Patrick my boyfriend is 23 I’m 30 I used to Make myself available to him whenever. I was basically doing everything you say not to 🤭 texting back right away always down to hang out . I pulled back I started making boundaries and setting rules for myself like I’m not gonna text him back right away I’m not gonna answer the phone every single time he calls and just making myself a little bit more mysterious and it’s working and it’s driving him nuts not knowing what I am doing not always being available to him and telling him No he’s loving it! We met on tinder it was just supposed to be a hook up then we fell in love an had a baby an we have been in a off period in the relationship somehow came across ur channel You’re the first person to actually get straight to the point and a video and tell us exactly what we need to do without all the extra stuff and it works it really works My relationship right now couldn’t be better we’re back on track we’re back to how we were in the beginning and I love it thank you so much
@@jessybee4723 You bet Jessy 😊
Ľ0kkjķip87
I've just watched like 15 videos of yours and I can't stop xddd anyone same? no? okay, just me..
No. Move over and please pass the popcorn😄
lol we have all the time in the world now
I have been a widow for 7 years I tried to date after mourning and dating didn't work for me so I decided to NOT date ANYMORE AT ALL. I'M HAPPY BEING SINGLE. Dating is TO much work.
Yes. I have never been married but I agree, too much work for us women.
Relly do. Make you tired just lost my love husband l love him very much going out for 6 yers marry 20 yers lost him 7 month ago to fine other man abit to much for me now
They won't like you if you do this, they won't like you if you do that....waaaaay to much work. I have never been married either, and I just do not care if i hold my mouth right, text the wrong thing, do the wrong thing anymore. Men do not care....I don't either.
To much work towind the man heart ldo the same thing after mourning didn't work l decided to stay with my feeling rembering my laet my husband all time very lonely but then no much l can do 😢
😔😢😭l lost good husband good lover good person in my life 😔
I said no for almost a month when we started dating and he still 4 months later can’t believe I made him wait that long. Think it made him want me more 😉
Really? I am almost 4 months in and still saying no. Lol
Really, just a month? I am almost 4 months in and still saying, no.
@@leesteal4458 OMG.
@@adday. That's not long sweetie. Get to know the guy. Value yourself. We women are worth it.
@@leesteal4458
I totally agree with you. But I am 100% that he is having sex with someone else though...
I'm 45 and have been doing everything as a complete pushover. Thanks Ryan Patrick for your wise advice.
This is so true... everytime when I say NO , a guy goes crazy he will always take it like a challenge to get me to say Yes so I like to give them that challenge but with a tease.
You have to hold off on being intimate because it helps you dish out "the player". Because I went slow, two guys showed up as players right away. AKA, they got another girl pregnant that I didn't even know about very quickly. Trying to get pregnant is NOT the way to try to nail the guy. It hopefully becomes the merging of two lives. Yes, time flies but you really want to try to set boundaries that work with your life.....your trying to get him into "your world".
Ryan, I am 50 and still dealing with the stuff I dealt with with men when I was in my 20’s. Frustrating!
Me too. Why so much BS?
I can never stop watching u Ryan. This is a year old video and I am so much enjoying it. I love all ur guidance 💜
I really wish I'd known all of these earlier.
What about midlife dating...dating in your 40's.. Things are so different..Men are lonely and needy or play to many games and woman in our 40's are over the bs.
Christina Conkle I’ve dated men in their 30s and 40s. I’m 36. Last guy I dated was 44. Apparently, they’re still into all the f-ing games. Unfortunately we have to play games forever
Try being in your 50's. Might as well be invisible. And yeah, all of that applies to this age as well. I think a lot of it's because men who are single later in life have issues that are the reason they're still single, or are divorced (same thing applies as to why they're divorced), or they have all of these fears from their last relationship, or they want to play around if they were married a long time and think they've missed out.
Yup I can completely agree. I date older men and I personally prefer it that way. I am in a open relationship with my friend, he is alot older like 25 years older then me. I have known him for years so we were friends first and now we have been lover for 4 years.
Agreed
Rhiannon omg you are soooo right.
I didn't have a male role model to explain this stuff to me, I'm glad I found your channel.
I can actually relate to that "saying NO to having sex". That is just right as I've experienced. 😊
Ryan, you’re fun. I wish you had a live cocktail teaching session.. I think it would be so helpful and fun!! All of your information is awesome.
This is true, Ryan. Especially if he asks for sex too soon. I'm thankful I've never been afraid to say no, even when I was newly divorced and in my late 20s.
Omg my friend is 65 and he still like this every thing has to revolve around his schedule. And I finally was like no I have plans and a schedule of my own so get use to it. Since I started not letting our time revolve around his schedule I have noticed a big difference.
I am dating a 46 years old and he behaving the same!!!
I do not even have to watch this one. I already guessed it. It's NO. Men suck.
You are incredibly engaging and your information and delivery is amazing!
Thank you Susan! 🙂
Omg your videos are SO EFFING USEFUL!! Thanks! and I've watched a lot of dating videos lol but surprisingly, yours are standing out...
Awesome G G! This is *amazing* feedback for me, thank you! I'll keep 'em coming 😄
@@datingcoachryanpatrick I am binge watching you bigtime! Even as a "mature woman" with life lessons behind me, we are still women and men wanting love and holding onto it for the long haul.
All these petty mind games just suck. People should just say yes if they mean yes and no when no. If God has a man for you, then all that is not necessary.
Good One right im soooo tired of getting on YT and everyone wants you to play games act like you dont care even into marriage saying dont have emotions dont you dareeeee love that man god forbid🙄😔 even he hes your husband dont trust him push them away. Dont tell them anything about you cause no one cares these days. Dont love anybody while your at it too! Its a dog eat dog world🙄like no how about we be good and respect each other both sides and stop giving men excuses to play a game 😂 crazy cause i dont have time to put energy into making someone think idgaf about them?!?! Rather put that into living my real life
@@lolarodriguez9284 Exactly. All these mind games are just a waste of time. If the man wants a woman just say it flat out. The woman on the receiving end, if you're into him, then just say yes or no if you're not. People are too old to be playing games. Men and women should both learn to master the honest gesture of rejection from another person. Stop trying to let every no hurt your confidence. Better accept an honest no, than he/she having to play all these mind games. Honesty is still the best policy in my book. All these games are just time consuming and meaningless. By the time you are done playing all these games, you are old, not sexy and worn out.
Good One right those are the shitty people. They dont deserve us anyways. Im not playing games with shitty people anymore! Just to end up with a shitty prize that i know nothing about. No, im gonna give the right one the chance idk. Ive always felt the most love when we were friends first THEN fell to love each other so much that way they knew almost everything about me im comfortable confident and not being intentionally hurt played with or lied to. In my eyes real friends dont hurt their friends so its not the same playing field its equal level fun and trusting. You can love and care for a friend but still sleep sound at night knowing theyll be there for you to call on the next day and they can look forward to you too you dont expect sex answers or to be lied to cause you shouldnt really do that to anyone. I believe lying and cheating will ruin any relationship and after that its over. Your right people need to stop playing games.
IF you mean it. I believe games are disingenuous, but the other person is not always genuine and honest either. Go with your heart but keep your head too. Most importantly, pay attention to your intuition. Pay attention to how you FEEL when you perceive the other's body language; it could save your life. Don't fall for love-bombing. I recommend learning about how toxic people target you. There's lots of stuff in you tube about that.
@@goodone8516 Let me guess you're probably an older person, tired of life etc... but you missed the whole point. And for that I guess that's why you're in that miserable situation. You should of been wiser and said NO, more often
Binge watching these videos to finally understand how these things work
Awesome! Enjoy the journey 🙂
I did all those things in the beginning correctly and just was broken up with after an almost two year relationship and we had such a great relationship! I guess I didn't say no enough
I get the premise of being “too available” isn’t attractive, but what about during covid / quarantine?
Worked for me. I need me time and he couldn't wait to see me
I just realize I do this stuff without thinking about it..except I wait longer than 30 days.
TBH, Dating in my late 40's feels ten times worse.
I'm also 40 and just starting to date again and its different from my 20s and a bit harder and confusing a little
Wait til the fifties...
Same here, what happened to genuine people ? Can't be bothered with all the games
Im 58 and I very rarely get to go on dates. Guess because I'm doing it all wrong.
i find it harder because in your 20s you're driven by your hormones and passion, and in your 40s it takes a little longer to get there....you actually have to focus on other things first.
Ryan, here's a phrase I'm curious to hear your thoughts on when a woman is absolutely done with a guy who played her: "You are not nice."
My therapist told me to use this phrase and the TWO times I've used it, guys completely FLIP THEIR LID. Lol. It's great. But it's definitely only reserved for when all hell broke loose and I'm not trying to fix things with them.
What is going on in a guy's mind when their "nice guy reputation" is tarnished or threatened by this phrase?
As a man, if a woman says I'm not nice, I take that as a compliment. Guys don't want to known as "the nice guy."
I'm 24, hopefully I find someone to stick with tired of all this dating and already been married once! Can I just be who I'm supposed to be with!!! Sheesh
I recently went out with a guy that talked about his ex gf a lot .. he said they actually had lunch 2 weeks ago.. 3 dates in and i asked him if was over her yet.. And he said.. no sorry.. but I’m trying to get myself back out there.. and build memories with someone else.. blah blah blah.. red flag right?? Would love to see a video addressing some red flags like these and if i should run the other way when he tells me this.. i surely don’t want to be his “crutch” to help him get over her but i also don’t want to miss out on a potential great guy.. lol.. I’m 52 btw..
I have been saying No since I can remember. My favorite word. Lol
I know you are not going to want to hear this but now that I’m dating men in their 60s I am finally seeing the mature side of you.
I need to watch this on repeat. I think this has made me realize why I'm such a jerk magnet. I tend to be a pushover. I'm currently dealing with a guy who wants to have sex with me but doesn't want to be in a relationship. Apparently I need to be more firm with my "no" instead of "Well, if things were this way...". Thank you so much for the wake up call.
You bet, Vicki!
1 word is a lot easier to remember than some of the lists in other videos :)
Binge watching TH-cam and just thought hang on I really miss Ryan.. I don't need any dating advice right now just like your vids🤗🥰
Yes but if you always say no then a man will get sick of you and walk away .I must say you have given the best advice and are one of the most down to earth dating coaches that I ever come across.
I love you, Ryan! Before I go out to a date...
I make sure I watch ur videos. You are awesome! 🥰🥰
Thanks Brenda! I appreciate your on-going support of my channel big time! 🙏
Lol 😂 he's gonna wanna.... Pow! That was weird 🤣 I didn't mean to do that...... Kill me ! Ryan you crack me up. 🙏❤️
I'm in a new relationship, just been a month now and I am learning a lot from you. I will start to implement these and will come back to comment. I did learn a lot from your "how to text a guy" video and wish I had watched it before I started texting him because I really messed up many times as he hates texting
You Seem To Be Going Thru Something Emotional In This Video. I Can Tell Because I Can See It In Your Eyes. I Am Sending You Lots Of Love And Prayers. 💕🙏💕
I hate playing these silly games! Just get to know each other if there’s any attraction. Honesty all the way. If you like someone, you want to see them, why postpone that. Communication- learning their views on IMPORTANT topics is key! People don’t communicate properly. Anyone can go kissing and cuddling etc etc- but we are all unique in our thought patterns (or so we should be)! Relationships SHOULD start from the neck up!!! How we think is what makes us so different!
Hey Ryan, I just started watching your videos. You are awesome. I am clueless when it comes to guys and I decided it's time to change that. Thanks for all the great tips. I am 61 years old and became single again after a 20 year marriage ended in divorce 3 years ago. Wow have things changed in the dating world. I currently met a man that has me spinning and I don't know quite how to handle finding out if he feels the same way.
I needed this a few months ago. Thanks for your continuous videos of support. Bless 🤗
Can you do a video on men that are extremely smart, bookworms or he's in a genius status and how to handle a relationship from the beginning and what to do to date and keep them because those type of men have no common sense, they are a little slow when it comes to dating and relationships😔 no shade but it's the truth
Vala Dina RIGHT?!? I met my "genius" father at age 30. 15 years later he puts a "break up" letter in my birthday card...and completely ceases all communication. I think all men are the same. Just jerks....
I would suggest you to watch Amy Farrah Fowler dating Sheldon Cooper on TBBT :-) she is also a genius, but she has great interpersonal skills with this genius guy that is almost unbearably quirky xx
Incredibly, they’re just the same as all men. Unfortunately I’m a pushover, and not with just men. I dated a math genius, but his emotional intelligence was less than average. He didn’t like when I enjoyed listening to him explain theories. I had no idea he didn’t. Literally he broke up with me Just because of that. Ryan explained men don’t like to be put on a pedestal, basically that’s what I did. Made me look undeserving and lowered my respect.
@Anne Hedonia HAHAHA, i felt like I was walking on eggshells most of our time spent together. Actually the majority of the time.
Wow you're cool thanks...it is easy to say no because he lives in another country. .then again it would be hard to say no if he visits,because he lives in another country. But I understand your point...he'd respect me more, and I'll respect myself...so no it is!...it'll be so dam hard but I'll do it because I'll see if this will help him either stay or go for good...and by that I'll have my dignity in tact still...and that he'd know I'm not easy like I was way back then hahaha 🤔Btw we were teenagers in love...and it's been years and years since I've seen him...
Ryan. I feel blessed that you have made these videos. Your insight is sunshine ☀️
I just subscribed to your channel recently. I love watching your videos. I like the way you deliver your words, it's just like you are full of emotions. Very interesting. 😊
This was a really great video. Your delivery is also much more relaxed here. Thank you, Ryan.
Soo after you've given the goods...how do you start saying NO?!
He'd just go get a girl who says YES, YES HELLL YESSSS 😳
That is why you shouldn't sleep with them until you guys are official.
I waited a 1 and a half years for sex, asked me to come over one night and I was busy he went on a trip with some friends. Got back from the trip and didn't call me or text me for a week. Finally I asked him what's going on. He asked me to come over I told him I was busy. I offered the next day he said he wasn't home. I said ok another time. The next day he told me he was on his way home. I asked if I could go over in a few minutes. Her never answered. I went over and every light in his house was off his car in the driveway. I left and didn't message him. 2 days later he sent me 😁😄😁😄 what does that mean. Is he laughing at me
@Egyptian Queen...I live and learn girl!
@@theresalevario5729 this mean he is one Dumbass foolish boy!
The only reason i watch your videos is ypur voice. I am in love with it. Plus your videos are awesome. I learned so much so thank you.
I have a life; I love my life; you're not the center of my Universe; I'm not a horse to be tamed. I also close my eyes & ask: what color are my eyes?
Hey Ryan, I get your reasoning behind the saying no to his first request for a first date BUT - What if it's an amazing opportunity like a concert?? And he already has the tickets?? And doesn't ask you to pay for your ticket?? I bring up this scenario because this happened to me. A guy I knew through friends and I had started talking and as timing would have it - his first date proposal was for a Metallica concert! NO WAY in this lifetime or any other would I say no to that haha!!! C'mon!!! Haha 😁
I wouldn't pass that up either lol
I'm seeing a doctor so I can't say no to him. He already has so little time for himself so any time that he can spare to be with me is precious. I'm always the one who initiates, plans, and executes; he continually follows my plans happily. If I say no to him and apply the principle of he-should-always-initiate then I guess I can never date a seriously busy and hardworking man.
Why i had this video so late!☹️i screwed everything by saying yes always to him😭
My date invited me a week in advance and to go out to eat with him and throughout the week I was the one texting him
I'm taking all your advice for the future! I'm in school so I'm not looking now but I'll think about this if a guy asks me out. Thank you for your tips!
How about a guy in his 60’s!! Still immature!!
Yup, him too. What's immature, Kimberlee?
Ok so these videos are great and very specific. Although I need step by step instructions. 😂
So for the first date I say "no" but set up another day to meet up? Also you said it helps to see the guy once a week because I should be busy. What if I can't fill up my whole week to do things? Would I lie and make something up? But then on the flipside it would seem inauthentic and I'm sure a guy can pick up on that.. 😣
No coach Ryan, No! I totally can’t agree
😆
(YES!!!!) NOOOOOOO 😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I've watched your videos for hours at a time... have taken notes.... etc etc.. but I cant watch anymore. I need a break to get myself together... I know I am an AMAZING woman.. It just sucks because I found this AMAZING man but I think I got into the "I'm his" mindset MUCH too early... It really makes me sad because things were going SOOOO well. I mean, so well to the point that I could potentially see him as a future husband.. I feel like I let myself down. I was sooo happy.. I feel like there is STILL some way he might be interested.. but the worst thing is..... it's 50/50... He will either want me and pursue me or not.... I am so disappointed... I told ALL my friends and family about him. He is literally the man of my dreams...
LOL! This reminds me of the story of a gal who said no to a first date, and when he asked her why she said she was helping her friend with a tupperware party [blew his mind]. He didn't believe it, so he figured out where her friend lived and went there to check up on her story, and there she was. He decided she was awesome because she didn't break her word to her friend to go on a date. [I don't know if this is a real story or not, but it sort of drives the point home]
Watching, rewatching 😀
There's a song in Spanish, written and interpreted by a famous Hispanic singer. The title of the song is "Dime Que No", (tell me no, in Spanish).I was thinking about the lyrics the other day. The lyrics say: tell me NO and you will have me thinking about you all day, trying to find a strategy to get you to say YES. The song has really interesting lyrics.
"That was weird" 😆
Wo wooot?! I’ve always had guys obsessed about me when I didn’t even bother and after seeing this video I think it’s because I’m Demisexual 😯😳
Starting from the beginning of the older videos! :D thanks Ryan!
Awesome, Queenie! Are you thinking about doing my FREE Dating Confidence Masterclass starting up again next Monday? 🙂
Ahhh Ryan!! *fangirling* thank you for responding! Of course, can’t wait for it! 😊
@@qqk02012010 Beautiful! I'll see you in comments inside this week then 👌
That remind them with their mom when they were growing up 😂🤣😂🤣🤣
Men love you when you remind them of their mom
Rizz Estorninos 😂😂😂 especially when they never had genuine mummy’s love since young. 😭
no
🤣🤣 I love this video. You are so funny. I will start saying no more often
Tried this with three different guys. It had the opposite effect. 😕
I know not every bit of advice on this channel applies to every guy in every situation. So, I take it in stride.
Hey Jess! Honestly, it could certainly be that these were just the wrong guys for you. “No” is one of the healthiest words you can use with someone. It implies boundaries. A man who is adversely affected by hearing it may be one of those “his way or the highway” types who will be *miserable* to be with and try to please. So yes, definitely take it in stride, but also look at your use of “No” as a natural screener in the dating arena 😉
@@datingcoachryanpatrick thank you for the feedback ♥️👍
I think a person should wait until they are in a relationship. Otherwise it's just a hook up and why buy the milk when you can get it for free?
Also that will weed out the narcassists early on b4 you get too attached!!
Love your video. It's pretty clean cut.
Thanks Jaiza!
He could have just talked to me- too late, I've already had a mental funeral
Straight to the point. Like you👍
Omg you crack me up and I love watching your videos they are so helpful
one of my dates that ghosted me did give me the best thing about no:
"Sometimes no is a better yes."
He started second sexting and I said no. He ignored me and so I said,"No is a better yes."
I love these videos!
When he hit his hand & said that was weird & his face. 😆😆 that’s something I would do.
Wait one month is long? What about not until marriage?
I am currently in a bit of a unique situation. A very casual acquaintance and I realized we were possibly interested in each other romantically several months ago, like late 2019. His career, however, which is taking off (very happy for him!) takes him out of town and country for extended lengths of time. I can deal with that. Well, due to Corona, he got locked down in Montreal and could not come back to the States, which he was going to do, before going on to London and another project. We have been talking at least once a week during all this time. And our conversations are very in-depth, not just small talk. So, we've still not had an "official first date". But when his part in this London project has a break and he's able to get home for a while, we are definitely getting together asap. Thing is he may only be here for a month or so until his next project or having to go back to London to wrap things up there. My point being, we are definitely going to want sex included asap (as long as we both test negative for covid, of course.) So, would this be a "too easy" move, considering the circumstances? I'd like to believe not. :-)
I've never had a guy flake on me, but based on my personality and lack of social cues, I would probably take it as a sign of him not being interested in me, and therefore not worth wasting my time with. If he was genuinely interested in me, but just wanted to test me, he would find himself stranded at the dock because the ship just sailed.
OMG I realky want to shout but this is working and saving my time!
What about kissing on the first date ,
Ok, great. Now that I have all of this info. Where do I go to meet a nice decent guy!?!
I said no to a guy for month with he tried being physical and he lost interest in me. I wasn’t upset. Another time (months apart) another guy didn’t want to talk to me, cause I was “too busy” with work. Trying to date this year is tiring. 😂
Does this do anything if you’ve been in a relationship for 3 years?
If I had to continuously do this to someone to get their attention and get no response, and feel uncomfortable doing it, I will continue to be a nuisance and send that person a text just to confirm that they are a jerk for tuning me out, that horrible person.
Did this...
all by no info...
absolute love both ways!😁
so 30 days is only 4-5 dates.. is that enough to know someone well enough..
??