@@90DayFianceCinematicUpscale there is no cure for autism. that's your ignorance talking. Please educate yourself. If you want to, watch her videos on how its wrong (the "cure") and what's wrong with it
"I had no actual real relationship with anybody" Those words actually describe what I've been feeling most of my life smh. Thanks for putting it into words for me.
When I told my boyfriend about me possibly being autistic he wasn't surprised at all, he was really supportive. I'm so sorry yours was a selfish a-hole. I can't believe how he reacted...
@Futables Sakura honesty, its better to be alone than have bad company. Always remember that. Don't ever degrade yourself for someone just to feel "wanted". It never works. You'll find a good one one day
@@markerlee2231 awww my ex bf or whatever he was we both have autism well Aspergers and we met at a boarding school in IL and still friends to this day.
Same lmfao I’m always told to just “not think about it” and I’m just like “dude I can’t even stop thinking about the texture of the pillow I’m laying on, how do I take my mind off of my literal fucking trauma?”
Yes, you can. But it takes practice. It’s not necessarily “not thinking about anything” it’s a learning to train your mind to slow down your thoughts. It helps me with anxiety and I feel relaxed after I meditate. Definitely look into it.
Ita not so much "don't think" it's just *bring awareness to your body* so shifting focus from "don't think, empty your mind" to breathing (so thinking "breath in, breathe out.." brings you into your body whereas just sitting down and expecting to empty your mind keeps you trapped in your head.) So it's more about gaining control of your mind and wandering thoughts to be more present in your body rather than emptying your head of any thought ever haha
I agree with Codi Marcel below, he talks about concentrating on your breathing and by so doing emptying your mind. I was taught that if you concentrate on a spot or a candle flame or your breathing, but, breathing is also used to learn more about yourself, your phsycal reactions, changes of breathing in response to a stressing or good situation as well as, as a support to fix on so as to calm yourself down, that concentration quiets your mind, empties it. A support is something you concentrate on so as to distract you from your obsessive worries on your daily affairs and so to calm you down. The thing is that you dont actually empty your mind by emptying it, you concentrate on bringing your mind back to the support, a flame or the spot, which is a boring thing to do and as it is boring obliges you have to concentrate a lot, if you dont concentrate on try to keep ypur mind on the support, you dont realise that your mind has wandered. Also, as your mind keeps wandering away from the flame or the spot or your breath so that you need to concentrate, you are kept pretty busy, especially at first, catching yourself losing the support and bringing your mind back to your boring support and this occupation stops you thinking of the things you worry obsessively about, so that your mind calms down. Your real activity is bringing your mind back to the support. Meditation on a spot is meant to better you ability to concentrate. When you mind calms down, quietens, then the computer part of your brain that sorts out your worries for you can sort things out without being interrupted by repetitious thought that does not really answer your worries. Your unconscious brain will then give answers your conscious brain does not give you, and does not time to find, as the answers might be unexpected, which is very energising. When you stop meditating you find you feel great, so full of energy. It also means that your unconscious brain might sort out some stuff your conscious mind did not think needed sorting or that your unconscious mind might just know worried you, that your conscious brain thought just did not matter all. Meditation can stop you worrying about things without you having a clue that you were sorting things out, so without traumatising you, I guess. there are things it does not solve or did not for me, how to fight things our for example. I dont though know which meditaions are suitable, safe for which mental tendencies, autists, depressive etc. I have heard from Ramiro Calles,who taught me, from his talks, that relaxation, with hatha yoga, properly done is useful and doen any old way is safe though not useful, which is stretching exercises which relax peoples muscles, exercises which are held for about thirty seconds with a thirty second pause after each to relax in, Relax standing for standing exercises or lying down for sitting etc, ones between each exercise. You can find a book on relaxing exercises that have nothing to do with yoga The program of exercises can then be followed by relaxation. People lying down and relaxing their body, toes to head or however the teacher does relaxation. People relax better after exercises and relaxation is a type of meditation. Catholics, who use Ramiro Calle in order to learn meditacion, also blacken him as hard as they can. They hope to incorporate meditation into their own practices but want to stop a person who talks of India from having any influlence among Christians.
@@Bree-jt6pn Excuse, but don't talk about a generation you aren't in and clearly know nothing about. What is one valid reason to tell your child "Because I said so", hm?
Seriously....the hell?! That pissed me off SO much hearing that a child psychologist freaking said that. Every child is curious because they are A CHILD and just learning the world! That is natural and it should be that way! If you don't explain things to them, how the hell are they going to understand things?! Your job as a parent is to teach your children these things and how to navigate the world and their feelings and etc etc. Her example is perfect: how is a child supposed to know that going out of sight of their parents/guardians/caretakers/etc in public is dangerous if you don't explain that to them in an age appropriate way?! This pisses me off SO BADLY. Hearing it from anyone is bad enough, but a goddamned child psychologist?!?! Disgusting. /rant
since I found out I'm autistic, my mother has also accused me of acting more autistic and playing it up... but I really just feel like me, unmasked. so many things I would hide about myself and only do when I was alone, I now understand, so I am more open about them. instead of just ignoring my pain, I voice sensory discomfort.
Reading my exact experiance like this made me tear up a lil. I'm going through that word for word and it's so incredibly validating to hear I'm not alone in this experiance. Except I have not been diagnosed and I'm worried I won't be because my mom will say I'm lying
Can we talk about how to handle this type of situation? I repeatedly being told by my family member that u suddenly u become more autistic and need more explanation now! worse i was told to shut up. I had mental breakdown few days ago after being told so by my own mom.
I have never even considered the possibility of myself not being neurotypical. But I am the stressed out, straight of the edge, academically competitive, top of the class *girl.* The severe pressure I have always felt (not from my parents, literally from nothing except my own mind) was something that I just always thought every other super smart kid felt. I think maybe it’s more anxiety and OCD, but still, Paige has opened my eyes to how easily girls can mask anything.
I relate to your first 3 sentences, I was always top of the class girl, extremely anxious, only accepted A and A+, got very frustrated when I got lower grades even though my parents always said it was fine to not do perfect. Found out I was Autistic last year (not saying you are). Hang in there, you're not alone.
Saaaame. Suuper high achiever, constantly stressed, constantly excited, and was weirdly obsessed with irish traditional music from age of about 14 (I'm not Irish). Only AFTER finishing my PhD in neuroscience did I really realise "huh... maybe everyone else isn't constantly overwhelmed by every sensations?" I've embarked on a journey of hearing more from autistic women, because the differences in symptoms were absolutely not taught to us in university!
@@Vaskis4life wow that’s crazy! Even at the doctoral level or neuroscience it’s not addressed. I feel like one thing I do really well is match the social cues of others. It’s easy for me to blend in, but I constantly feel like I’m standing out (Did I greet that person the right way? Am I asking my friends too many questions? What about that random social situation eight years ago?). I hated school dances-didn’t feel like I knew how to act. I wasn’t on social media until I graduated high school just because I never wanted it in middle school. Then it got to a point of “well everyone’s had it for years, so if I got it now that would be weird, and I wouldn’t know what I was doing.” I finally did it because I wanted to keep up with everyone I went to school with. I swear to god I’m not insecure though (I’m the one wearing a mask on my face when only three other kids in a lecture hall of 50 are). Again, so much of that could be generalized anxiety. I also don’t feel like it’s an extra burden for me; it’s how I’ve been for as long as I can remember: a chronic over-thinker. I know stress is unhealthy, but I really can’t imagine my life without it.
@@chloe_3787 So to be fair my PhD was focused on a completely unrelated subject (hearing).. but in my undergrad degree I don't remember it being discussed much beyond just a mention! But yess I completely completely agree with the rest of that! I am quite sociable and bubbly so most people would have absolutely no idea, but as a kid I really struggled to make friends and a lot of people thought I was weird. I feel like I had to consciously learn "how to behave" around people, and even now it's a constant process of making sure I'm not talking too much or too little or spending too long on one thing... Also an interesting thing I realised: throughout university I surrounded myself and made friends with mainly people on the spectrum (a big bunch of physicists and musicians). I always thought I was "normal" and I just liked hanging out with spectrum people because they seemed more interesting and straight-forward than neurotypicals. THEN I left university, got a job, and now suddenly I'm realising I'm FARR from "normal" and probably actually inadvertently surrounded myself with like-minded people!! XD
I’m 19 and have essentially been self diagnosed for about a year because it has been so extremely difficult to get a diagnosis. My psychiatrist is treating me for anxiety and thinks autism is a likely possibly but can’t diagnose me. I relate so much to being told I’m “acting more autistic now.” Ever since finding this out about myself I have been learning to accept myself, be comfortable, and unmask. Just tonight my mom and said to me “well how come you haven’t done (x) for the past 19 years?” and I started crying because I have always been like this, it has always been me, I was just hiding or suppressing the real me. My mom is very supportive, but I think it’s hard for her to understand me even when she thinks she does. Videos like this are what keep me going until I can find people in our community I’m comfortable with and accepted by and until I can get my diagnosis
I got diagnosed yesterday after it taking two years of assessments and meetings and it feels amazing to finally have a reason for my feelings and why my brain seemed to work differently to everyone else I knew
Congratulations! I recommend looking into what accomodations your work or school has for autistic people, since now that you have an official diagnosis, you can get access to them. Have a great day! ✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧
@@sushilovermf for me it did but covid definitely impacted it so it might have been less if lockdown didn't happen, also I was apparently a difficult one to diagnose since they were so unsure so it just depends on your circumstances but for me it definitely took a while
Whenever I get excited, i stim, A LOT. so, I have to really mask in front of my parents because they always yell at me and tell me to stop. They also force me to make eye contact with them, and I HATE it. I really, really need to get a diagnosis. They yell at me for things that are clearly autism or adhd, and expect me to act like the average 9th grader. Like, no? Is it not obvious that I’m autistic?
I'm so sorry about your situation with your parents, I can definitely relate with most of your comment. Some people aren't good at dealing with mental health disorders or autism and unfortunately those people happen to be the parents of us who happen to have them. It sucks having parents who try to get you to act 'normal', get you to do things which make you feel extremely uncomfortable, and just don't treat you how they should. I would try to say something encouraging but I haven't really been able to think of anything other than saying that you're not the only one going through this and that there are some people in this world who will do what your parents aren't able to and help you get through everything.
When they force you to make eye contact you can try looking at their nose, cheek, mouth or eyebrow. People can't see difference. I don't know if this will be helpful, but might will.
@@nietoperzzszafy2996 seconded the eyebrows or the bit inbetween the eyebrows works best. I tested this on a bunch of people, I found looking just past them made them ask what I was looking at behind them, same with ears etc. Except for one friend, who didn't notice the difference in eye contact. He got diagnosed with autism later on.
Nah, I'm pretty sure very few people can stop thinking altogether. When they say "empty your mind" in yoga I don't take it literally. My thoughts do slow down though and become more simple and pleasant. Like I think of my cat or the beach or something.
Can we please agree how brilliant David Templeman's diagnostic method is? Breaking down the patients' walls is the quickest way to see them behave without acting, no masking, just pure vulnerable people being true to their essence. Also the observation before the assessment is pretty smart.
@@syleenadawn2038 Thank you very much for your answer. We’re on Vancouver Island too, and I want to assess my son who’s going to be 2 years next July, and $1600 little bit expensive.
@@bbbbb3474I would have him referred to VICAAN (Vancouver Island Childrens Autism Assessment Network), your GP or Pediatrician can send in this referral. The waitlist is anywhere from 10-18 months usually so the sooner the better! These assessments are free/covered through Canada Health!
I’ve been trying to get my daughter diagnosed since she was four years old. She’s 12 now. We finally got another referral today to go for yet another CDRC assessment. Her therapists/skills trainer are convinced, so I hope whoever we get this time to do the testing can see what we all KNOW. wish us luck! 🙏🙏🙏
Hearing your story has given me so much clarity. I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and OCD also. I’m 19 and I just found out I am autistic. I was told I had ADHD when I was 11 but to me, that diagnosis always seemed... slightly off. It’s so interesting how many of the things you discussed in this video I lived. Thank you for sharing so much with us. You are a treasure.
This is so similar to my diagnosis story. I’m female and was diagnosed in a mh hospital at 16 (now 20), where they told me it would previously have been called Asperger’s. I slowly became such a different, more well balanced person, as I accepted myself. I eventually unmasked in front of my parents which was great (but sometimes I wish I could re-mask lol so people would speak to me normally, like yeah I find it hard to speak but I have an IQ of 140)... The lockdowns have been terrible for my interpersonal skills because I didn’t feel the need to talk to anyone, so just didn’t, and now I cannot hold a conversation 🤓
I'm 27 and was recently diagnosed with ASD and your TH-cam videos and Tik Toks played a big part in why I decided to seek a diagnosis. I just found myself identifying with a lot of the symptoms that you and other Autistic creators described and I've always struggled with understanding and engaging socially. So thanks for the great content and being part of my diagnosis story.
Hugs. Schools, in general, have gotten insane. I know it's not on purpose, but it's uncanny how they almost seem designed as torture devices for those on the spectrum. Well, some of them anyway, I know there have to be healthy schools out there too.
So glad I watched. I'm 31, just diagnosed a few months ago (story below). But I've been working through what that unmasking looks like with friends and family. I've tried to embrace rather than hide things that I've learned are just part of being autistic. Things like my love of bright colorful clothing and decorations, or a few ticks that I used to get embarrassed by and would fight to suppress, and recently I've opened up more with folks at work. As always thank you, Paige. I asked for a behavioral health eval for anxiety and depression toward the end of last year. I threw in sensory processing disorders as well. This because I had noticed the way my whole body seemed to relax when I used a pair of high-quality noise cancelling headphones. It was an hour long appointment that went for two hours. I felt peppered with questions and at times she would ask me these strange things but the break through was when she asked "Do you find light touch (like finger tips/nails moving over your skin) uncomfortable?" And I stared blankly and asked "yeah, my whole life why?" She said "I think you're autistic". I asked why no one who had evaluated me before caught it, and she said "honestly, if you're verbal, amd they can explain most of the other stuff with anxiety, ADHD, or depression... most don't look for autism."
My younger sister was just diagnosed last summer, and some family members were really crappy about it. you’ve been a major help for her and i’m really glad you and your platform exist. thank you for educating me about how to support my sister, and for being so validating to her!
Thanks so much for all your content - as a 56 year-old who grew up in an era when diagnosis wasn't even possible (and when well-meaning parents tried to force children to act neurotypical), it's fantastic to instead see autism framed as functional characteristics. My own teenage response was a combination of disengagement and masking (and reading so very many books), but it wasn't until very recently that I realized how much of my self is simply perfectly normal autism. I honestly don't know how autistic people who weren't bright enough to create an active neurotypical persona ever got by in society. Please keep pushing that autism itself isn't something to be cured, so that we can all be ourselves, and especially so that autistic teenagers will better know their individual selves.
About a year ago, I was told that maybe I’m autistic by a friend of mine who is a doctor. I was weirded out by it and didn’t look into it until recently. I’ve been doing extensive research and I do believe I am autistic. It makes so much sense. I’ve always felt like an alien in this world. I’m afraid to tell my therapist, psychiatrist, let alone family and friends. I remember I told my therapist about it and he said I literally can’t be autistic because I look normal, smile and empathize with people. And that really made me doubt everything. But the more I research, the more I identify myself as autistic. I’m so afraid to tell anyone. 🥺 Thank you for sharing your story, Paige. You make me feel less alone.
I wanna thank you cuz, thanks to you, I'm halfway through my evaluations, and was just told today that I am, in fact, in the spectrum :) . I started suspecting whilst watching your Tiktoks in 2020, right after being diagnosed with ADHD. THANK YOU so much for teaching us!!
I got diagnosed a week ago, and I’m having a lot of doubt and impostor syndrome. I really relate to some of the things Paige said at the end, especially with accepting the diagnosis. Hell, my mum said something similar to hers (mine said “ever since you fixated that you’re autistic, you’ve been acting like an autistic”) and that made me feel awful, so I’m glad someone else has been through something similar and I’m not alone.
You’re very inspirational person Miss Paige ☺️ I’m sorry you’ve battled suicidal thoughts. Being on the autistic spectrum myself, and being misunderstood my whole life, I’ve had those thoughts too. I’m glad you were able to get through them and I can honestly say the world is a better place with you in it ☺️
I tried so hard to get a diagnosis for my tics and other issues for years and always got told they would go away so eventually I stopped trying. I saw your video speaking with your mom about your experience and it made me want to pursue getting a diagnosis again and finally FINALLY yesterday I got my evaluation back and was diagnosed with Tourettes and ADHD as well as anxiety. I just want to say that you had a part in this and the content you put out there is important and I appreciate it so much. I'm 29 and finally have a diagnosis.
Thank you for sharing your story! Females on the spectrum can get a lot of judgement due to acceptable masking. Some people can't wrap their minds around others suffering and not sharing. Autistic men obviously have their own stigmas, but I mention women because autism in females has always been treated differently. Glad you're working on being true to yourself ♥
I’ve been on a waiting list for my country’s public mental health services over a year, my family has had to result to starting down the private route to look at getting some form of diagnosis, autism or something else, for me. My therapist said I had some of the worst sensory issues she’s come across in 30 years of work, she’s dead set on getting me tested for autism. Watching these videos genuinely keeps me going, it’s just nice to know people are surviving, that they’re coping in one way or another. Gives me hope!
I started displaying autistic traits as a toddler, but I only got diagnosed at age 5 because that was back in the days of the DMS-IV, so at first the experts were like "some form of PDD-NOS, BUT NOT AUTISM", and even then, I was diagnosed with Asperger's. My parents were told not to tell me about my difference until I was considered mature enough to understand, and it wasn't until two days before my 14th birthday that I was told, during a time when I wasn't doing very well mentally. When I learned that, I was so happy I almost cried. I had somehow never completely picked it up despite years of speech therapy, motor skills therapy, and generally being treated a bit differently at school. Even so, I always felt like I was different from my peers, but I couldn't really tell how. If anything, I strongly believe that telling me earlier might have saved me quite a few tears and confusion. Today, I am 19 years old and I have fully shed the mask; I am a goddamn autistic! >:)
Obviously I haven’t watched the video yet, but thank you for sharing your story. I myself would like to get a diagnosis because clearly something about me just isn’t quite “right”. I’m not sure if it’s autism or adhd or something else but those two are the most likely and I’m still young but I’m past the age that most boys (and kinda just people in general) would get diagnosed. Thank you for educating and spreading awareness!!
I really feel for you. It’s uncanny, years ago when I was having the worst mental health episode of my life, for all the same reasons you said (I was just so overwhelmed and so burned out and struggling hugely), I even wrote the exact same thing you did on that referral sheet. Only thing is, I got diagnosed with other stuff. But now, I’m finally pursuing a diagnosis (at 25). I thank you so much for spreading so much awareness, because people like you have helped me realise who I am so much.
I'm originally from Romania, currently living in the UK, where I got my diagnosis at 37 (!!!!) When I was a teenager, I used to have frequent mental breakdowns because of stress and not feeling understood and the psychologists I went to said I'm only depressed and gave me pills which turned me into a zombie too. I didn't take them for too long, I preferred to agonize and be myself, but at the same I was masking to avoid bullying and being made fun of. My anxiety aggravated over time, I had trouble at work, changed jobs a lot until I left the country. I finally feel free, | have a job where I don't have to pretend to be NT and my diagnosis hasn't changed my colleagues and managers' opinion of me. I wish I had this support in my country.
Thank you for sharing your story. My whole family knows I am Autistic, but after some unpleasant childhood experiences, I became very self-conscious of my atypical behavior and don't even feel comfortable stimming in front of my family. It is very stressful to try and act appropriately even in front of family and friends. I hope I can be brave like you and let myself be comfortable in my own skin.
Hi Paige, I just wanted to say that you are such a good story teller. I usually get bored during these types of videos but your video was so engaging and helpful to watch. ❤️❤️
I’m so glad you shared. Found your channel a month ago and sent my mom the video where you interviewed your mom about autism. From there the ball started rolling - I found a psychiatrist who’s willing to work with me soon. Just wanted to say that I relate to so much of what you’re saying, and don’t listen to haters on social media - please keep making videos and talking about autism because it’s been helping me so much and I’m sure many other people as well. I’ve been suicidal for 6 months straight, and couldn’t understand why I’m always crying even though I have a good life. Even tonight I tried to study for my exam tomorrow but I’m so burnt out and stressed that I can’t focus. My thoughts are everywhere. If I hadn’t found your videos when I did... if I didn’t realize that I’m autistic - I dunno how I’d be handling it all. So thank you
i think she mentioned it bc it rubbed her the wrong way.., also i think a lot of autistics deemed “high functioning” or “aspies” feel a pressure to excel and to not ask for help which can create trauma
Tbh that was told by the Dr/psychologist/or whatsoever it wasnt Paige who said so. I mean I was told similar word as well, “Albert Einstein is autism as well. So autism doesnt mean u are stupid”. I was like "WTF is going on here?"
Dam I also had a breaking point when I was 15 but being from America and under a known crappy health insurance, I was just given the diagnosis of depression, generalized anxiety, and severe social anxiety and sent along my way. I spent the next 5 years in therapies and treatments that just didn’t click with me. I hate to say this since it’s fundamentally flawed but I’m pretty sure what went wrong for my case was that I didn’t express my struggles enough and ultimately wasn’t of concern despite clearly struggling. Idk I grew up internalizing my pain and too afraid to speak up for myself, getting by each day was all I could ask for. But yeah I just had enough and literally wrote down on my paper, I struggle day by day and I need help. This wording finally got their full attention and thankfully gave me full closure as I finally got diagnosed with autism. Your story just goes to show that advocating for yourself gets you by a long way.
I just now realized that I have autism and I’m sobbing because there’s just so much relief like I have a reason for everything now and I’m mind blown. My story is very similar to yours so it’s nice to know I’m not alone.
My son is high functioning Autistic like you. He has always said I am Autistic and it can’t be fixed because it is who I am. Getting help that fits his needs is almost impossible because he wasn’t properly diagnosed until he was an adult. To get assistance you must be diagnosed before you are 21. You are so positive and open you make comfortable to talk about this. Keep safe and stay like you are. You are amazing.
Thank you so much, this literally opens my world. I am now 22 and getting my diagnosis, almost done with the process and I didn't even ask for it. I reached out for help because I couldn't cope with everyday "normal" sounds, smells or other sensory stimuli. I was getting really stressed out and couldn't handle my internship anymore. Now it all becomes so much clearer, I really thought I was the only one who had these feelings. What you described : "always asked why why why?" as a kid is sooo relatable! "Because I said so" is no answer xD
Thank you for dropping this video. I wish I could’ve been there for you when you faced the criticism and confusion. You are amazing and I love your work. I was diagnosed at age five, so I don’t remember what I was like with autism back then. But like you said, “I’m not broken”. I consider it my superpower. Again, thank you for this.
We celebrated my 13 year old daughter’s diagnosis! It’s so much better having a name for all the things that make her unique. Also, her ASD evaluation was lengthy, I think we were there for 5-6 hours. It was so much more gentle than what you described. We had a lovely psychologist that listened and was kind with her. She would have definitely shut down if it were an interrogation. So I say, if you think you might have a neurodivergency, seek out the diagnosis. She’s so much more confident knowing she’s a super smart, neurodivergencent instead of a not so great neurotypical. :)
From about 16:00 is so relatable. My parents kept talking about how I'd changed or 'gotten worse' since my ADHD diagnosis and I kinda just wanna send them this. (I was gonna comment before this to say your makeup is like perfect 🥺)
I recently screwed things up with all but one or two of my friends (never been good at keeping friends), haven't said a word to anyone for almost 6 months now, can't get up in the mornings, parents hate me, and I just feel like shit day in and day out. I want to thank Paige for posting today and reminding me that I'm not the only one dealing with this shit, I really needed it. If anyone is reading my comment, I hope you are doing well.
for 30 years i felt broken, i hated myself, i struggle to communicate, to understand and so many other things, then someone advised i seek out an Autism diagnosis, on the waiting list for 3-4 years and i'm a year in but i feel whole now and i'm slowly learning to love myself.
Thank you so much for sharing this! This is so important, and especially with the part when after you accepted the diagnosis being "accused" for acting it up, because the thing is girls grow up with way different expectations, and so that's why so many girls grow up automatically masking more without even realizing! And why more girls and women are diagnosed at later ages than boys, because society have different expectations as to how you should act. And being "smart" means you adapt differently and autism is very much "rule following" in that sense, and so for girls if they are told they need to act or hide stuff, they do. And because you are aware enough to not want to "stand out" more than you "have to", so you hide parts of you. Also the "being perfect, striving for perfectionism" has been such a normalized thing with girls, that most people don't see or realize the insane lengths one goes to just to do that. I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, but at first they did think autism. When I was around 16... but no one saw that until I started therapy, so when the topic of autism was brought up (this was... 2013?) It just felt so farfetched, and I was very opposed to that. Of course, I knew nothing about it at the time. But now later in life I see why they would think I was autistic. But for me, ADHD with OCD makes more sense? Because yes I do score highly in certain categories on the diagnostics forms for autism, but I also know that it doesn't fit with all the rest? I don't know how to explain it, but ADHD makes a lot more sense with me overall? But I am 25, and just NOW finished diagnostics for ADHD (because ofc medications I was on from 20 until now, I couldn't get fully diagnosed for medications because they would affect the outcome of any diagnostical tests? So had to stop medications before finishing the full diagnosis). I actuallt just started medications yesterday after waiting months to see a doctor that is allowed to prescribe that kind of medications... but yeah, getting a diagnosis and actually accepting it, is a process. And so many neurotypicals don't understand how neurodivergent brains work. And ugh I hate yoga and mindfulness, I CANNOT just NOT think... that is such a stupid concept and it annoys me beyond belief that everyone talks about it as if everyone should love it, and a cure all. Nope. It stresses me out so much more because THINKING about clearing my mind, makes me more stressed. And all the weird music they use during yoga (whale sounds etc? Or just ocean sounds?) Are too much for my brain, as I have sensory sensitivity. I also struggle with food because of texture, and if I spend too much time chewing food or whatever, it causes me to gag because I cannot handle having food in my mouth longer than just a second. So I only eat easily chewable food (hardly any meats), and food of certain textures... but I think a lot of people don't understand ADHD, and hearing how my brain works would assume autism, but if you actually look into ADHD, past the hyperactivity/concentration issues etc, you'll see a lot of overlapping with autistic traits. And yeah, I finally feel like I understand why my head is the way it is? Also telling a child "because I said so" is so counterproductive. I have two nephews, and myself as a child, anyone told me that would make me frustrated and confused. And same with my nephews. (They actually also both have ADHD, but opposite sides, which is fascinating because I see myself in both of them? It's so cool in a way). Telling kids to just follow your lead blindly is not very educational, and will at some point backfire.
I was diagnosed with autism at the age of 25. I’m now 32 and mum and wife. I see my autism as a super power because I see things around me different. My husband is so patient and helps me in social situations. I’ve only just found your channel and it’s great to see someone speaking about autism on such a high platform. Well done and love from the uk xxx
Hi Paige. I hope you read this because I just want to say that you helped me. I was in therapy for ADHD when I saw one of your videos and realized I had a great deal in common with you. I mentioned it to my therapist and we then did tests for autism and I ticked all the boxes. Apparently I was masking very well. Your video was very encouraging for me. Again, thank you!
I’ve had an autism diagnosis for a few years now. I’m 22 and I’ve just discovered your channel and I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW MUCH ALIKE WE ARE. I actually thought to myself whilst watching a few of your videos “is this girl copying me” and I felt paranoid - but obviously you’re not as you’ve never seen or met me and I live in England haha. We just share so many of the same traits (not all); and now I feel comforted and I understand myself better because you explain everything in ways my head can understand. I’m not sure what the purpose of this comment is, but I find your videos so genuine and helpful so thank you.
OH MY SWEEET GOD! YOUR OUTFIT for the sponsorship part!! SO cute!! I am OBSESSED!! reminds me of Road To Avonlea if you remember that show here in Canada!! Or Joe from Little Women. I love it so much! the hat is so cute too!
I'm autistic (just been diagnosed recently) and I can really relate to all of that doctor stuff. My diagnosis has been a long time in the making and I've had to go to sooo many different people! I love how accepting you are of yourself I'm still learning how to be... I love your channel!!
I feel like from your intro you didn't necessarily really expect this to help anyone else because it's not, like, a strategy video for a path to diagnosis, but listening to you talk about why... yeah, that still helped a lot. I also got the depression mis-diagnosis for the same reason, and my actual motives were the same. Thank you so much for making this video.
I am a Canadian in the process of trying to get a assessed for ADHD. When you spoke about the financial aspects of these diagnostic processes it really hit home to what I am experiencing right now. It is several thousand dollars and I'm not even sure if I can afford to keep the appointment. I am so glad you were able to get the help that you needed and that you are here with us today sharing your story and educating others. You are a ray of sunshine :)
I just got diagnosed this week and the first time I heard about autism was in your "autism in girls" series last year I just wanna say thank you a lot, it changed my life
I searched for this video because it’s hard for me to make friends & I was a cry baby until now that I’m 19 years old whenever I feel stressed over school or something else. I graduated high school in June 10, 2023. I’m now at University of Portland majoring in nursing.
It was thanks to a tik tok you posted last year that I realized I could be autistic, and that's what led me to get a diagnosis (at the age of 35). The validation I got from realizing I was a perfectly autistic person (with ADHD!) has been the biggest gift. It's been a year and I am still in awe. I "spot" my ND brain in every day situations and I no longer wonder why the hell I am so weird and different (which was a big struggle before). I now find it fascinating and love me even more for being unique.
the last few minutes of the video really helped me, im on the track to getting a diagnosis and kinda just noticing in the last month that i have autism and just hearing you say about finally unmasking after YEARS just makes sense to me. if you see this you dont know how much youve helped me in my own journey, so thank you❤
I was assessed and diagnosed pretty recently after years of waiting (I'm almost 32). I'm pretty upset that I went for so long without one because I can't mask, but somehow flew under the radar.
I had my diagnostic test this week. I had the 2 story tests plus many other tests. It took over 3 hrs. I am waiting a month for the results appointment. I made the appointment in August, and it is march now. The doctor i saw, well psychiatrist, specializes in both children and adults with autism. I live in North carolina, usa. There are at least 7 places in my state that test. but some test only children, and most places had a 10 month wait.
I'm Male I Have Autism I Was Diagnosed With Autism At Age 14 I'm 28 Years Old Now Iv'e Been Living Interdependently On My Own For 3 Years So Far I'm From The Uk United Kingdom
Hearing you say that you had to create a whole different relationship with your family really struck me. The person I was around my family through my whole life until finally getting diagnosed at 27 was me masking. The relationships I had with my parents and family were so hollow because I was always trying to reflect what I thought they wanted from me. But it's been through me learning how to accept myself that I've been able to start over with them in a more honest way and been able to see the ways they struggled and benefitted from their own 'quirks' that I know are a part of the illnesses I experience. None of my family really knew me for a very long time and it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who has had to overcome the barrier in communication mental illness can place in front of you.
thank you for sharing your experiences. I'm so sorry you were treated poorly by people for it! I grew up dx'd with OCD. I had what seem like autistic traits, my mom told me even my childhood therapist said I had issues with "fixating on the same things/activities" and wanted me to try "new things more." I had other signs too, sensory sensitivities, getting very upset about routine changes etc, but it was all seen as my OCD! I also stim and don't make eye contact etc, and people mention it to me but no one's ever said "you might be autistic." I'm doing more research now to see if I am autistic. I resonate with the feeling that I need to re-teach everyone who I am as I unmask more. Thank you for your videos and all the work you do!
Good on you girl... And that ex boyfriend is a dweeb for saying what he said to you just to protect his on self interests. You be the best you, whatever that looks like, always!
I found out what autism was from a TH-cam vid last year. So much made sense to me so I booked an appointment, so many months later I got the diagnosis: autism and ADHD. Now that I know this, I’ve been doing so much better. Working with my sensory issues, learning more about what I can do and not force, not mask. I’m at a point in my life that I really don’t care what others say, I’m happy I found me.
We share almost the same experience. I discovered autism by watching Paige's videos last year. I did get diagnosed last year on October, ADHD and Autism.
@@sarah3412 I saw the video of iilluminaughtii on autistic women. And got diagnosed February this year. Before that I really had no clue on what autism was aside from some people have it and it’s some sort of disorder. Bit scary to think that most people think this, and don’t know the depth of what it really is.
@@stellarivers92 YEahhh~~ Tbh, it scared shit out of me the moment I relate to autism traits. I am in that denying state due to lack of knowledge that I have about autism. In my country Autism is non functioning person, throwing tantrum in public sometimes violent, a curse, burden to the family, etc. I totally try to get rid of the idea in my mind because Im scared.
"Unalive oneself", that's excellent! Since intelligence is mostly hereditary, it's funny that your parents are less intelligent! But it's not unheard of either. I am intellectually gifted, but my father is much more intelligent than I am. It would definitely be challenging if my parents couldn't stimulate and challenge me intellectually. Is that a struggle for you?
Thank you for speaking about autism and for introducing the possibility of it to me. I’ve struggled my whole life and you are the reason I’m finally going to take the steps to find out💜
i really felt that part at the end when she talked about her mom. i've only realized in the past few months that i'm probably autistic since my brother was diagnosed when he was little and he was always the autistic kid in the house. i never noticed i was masking and now that i'm trying to let myself act more authentically (both consciously and unconsciously because burnout has drained all my energy to mask), my parents think something's wrong and that i'm not myself. i didn't even notice for a while that i was acting differently. i feel more like my fullest self than i ever have but it's sad that the people who've known me for years are so surprised by it because aren't used to it.
This is awesome for me ,thanks ! I am 60 now and I found out on my own one year ago. Then I was diagnosed 6 months later. What I find hard is family members that don't believe me. I am the youngest in my family and there is no respect , give me the kudos that I have researched and read extensively before my diagnosis, that I waited for and paid for... what do I know right! My sister works with autistic kids so she thinks she knows better because I'm not rocking in the corner and she's known me all my life she says I am just an overthinker. My brain doesn't stop ......because I am AUTISTIC! FFS.....it is so invalidating and disregulating!
I‘ve been researching a lot about autism in the past few days and I can relate to a huge amount of the feelings etc that autistic people have. It just feels like you‘re talking about my life in this video, I can relate to this so much, so I‘m gonna talk about that I think I have autism with my psychologist today. Thank you so much for all your videos Paige
is it narcistic personality Anxiety Disorder manic depression, generalised anxiety Autistic spectrum disorder, Psychosis, aspergers, post traumatic stress, bipolar, split personality disorder, better to seek professional diagnosis rather then self , experts know best
Thank you for sharing this story! I can see how it would be hard to share, but we need to end the stigma!! I’m so happy I stumbled upon your tik tok vid and ended up here! I can see so many traits in myself. Calling the doc for a referral asap!
I love speaking to autistic people and trying many ways to fit in. I always tell them to just be themselves around me. I have a 3 year old niece who is autistic so I want to see what her world is like, and help her feel as comfortable as possible and to know she’s just like any other human being
A lot of things you went through describes me exactly I just wish I had known about it years ago I could’ve save myself a lot of headaches and problems and probably save myself from being in the hospital so many times I got to do is work on straightening out my life more and getting people to except the fact that I am autistic and try and get myself out of this hell of when I get overwhelmed of wanting just to end it all and getting overwhelmed and feeling the pain it just gets to be extremely uncomfortable and I can’t handle it and I just feel like nobody understands me I have always felt like an alien and I am 56 years old can you imagine trying to survive your entire life not wanting to live life not understanding who you are your entire life I’m sure you could but nobody else seem to understand it except me
Thank you for sharing sounds like you have a great mom! I've struggled for years and years and my parents did absolutely nothing. Trying to rebuild myself by myself. Thank you girl
i relate so much to this. when I started to accept that I was autistic I wanted to talk to my bf at the time about it (my psychologist told him before me) and he argued with me because he wanted my diagnosis to be ADHD like him. eventually he realized that autism is part of my identity. now I can give him examples of how me being autistic was present our whole relationship and he agrees saying "that was us"
i think not having thoughts is less of a NT thing haha, i have ADHD and my brain is either 100 miles per second or just staring into space with no thoughts lmao. it’s something i’ve heard from others with ADHD that they also do
As someone who is currently in the process of being tested for autism (partly because of watching your videos made me think I too could be on the spectrum and partly because of me now realizing the strange things I do could very well be because of autism), this was good to hear because it reminds me that I don't have anything wrong with me, like how I've felt the last very long time.
OMG, this is really similar to my diagnosis process! I was diagnosed with ASD at 15 (I'm 18 now), when I went to a psicologist for suspecting I had ADHD (I was right), and It was like: "but how does it makes you feel?" "I don't know", "Yes, you know, you just don't want to tell me", "No! I really don't know", and he was like "And how do you think your mum feels, when X and y, and z", and I said "I have no idea, but I know I want to go home!!" It took me lots of sesions like this, but I finally was diagnosed, and I remember when I told my best friend, she said: "wait, are you trying to tell me that you are autistic? I already know, It is so obvious!" And that were some of the similar parts, sorry for the bad writting, english is not my first languaje. Thanks for sharing It, I love lo hear different stories, and you are really nice ;)
I'm really glad I watched this video Paige. It made me realize what my abusive former psychiatrist meant when he said he did psychiatry "the old way." I realized my psychiatrist was doing the same BS yours did, torturing patients to reveal "their true self" or whatever. In my case, he diagnosed me with "mild psychosis" and shoved this awful medication on me, which was NOT an accurate diagnosis. In your case you got an ACCURATE diagnosis of autism so that's good. I was also diagnosed with autism as a kid before I even saw this terrible psychiatrist though. I'm glad you got the help you need but some psychiatrists are just the worst and it pisses me off.
Anytime I watch these types of videos I can’t help it but I get jealous of yalls mom. My mom hid that I had autism from me until I was 23. I had a teacher who suspended I was on the spectrum and recommended I get checked for it and instead of doing that my mom switched me schools. Fast forward to when I was a adult and had what I now know was a meltdown the day before thanksgiving, but then I thought it was a panic attack and I asked her why she never taught me about anxiety or tried to get me help for it growing up because I’ve always been so overwhelmed. And that’s when she slipped and told me a teacher suspected I had autism and I knew nothing about autism at the time but something in my brain just flipped and I went home and did research. It was like my life was being read to me and I called the suicide hotline because I didn’t know what to do. I had a existential crisis and eventually found a therapist who specializes in autism. After our first meeting she recommended I get screened for it. It’s been almost 4 years now. It took my mom 2 years to admit I was actually autistic but she still won’t admit she neglected me as a kid.
“I’m autistic, I’m not broken”
I love that.
I'm autisic too!
Cure is ready but it’s your choice. You can be happy autistic if you like. It’s a free world.
Stealing it.
@@90DayFianceCinematicUpscale I agree with you
@@90DayFianceCinematicUpscale there is no cure for autism. that's your ignorance talking. Please educate yourself. If you want to, watch her videos on how its wrong (the "cure") and what's wrong with it
"I had no actual real relationship with anybody" Those words actually describe what I've been feeling most of my life smh. Thanks for putting it into words for me.
I feel the same way.
I feel the same, even with family, until I met my partner
Same 😔
same i feel like nobody knows who i actually am apart from my partner because i am kind of fake to everyone to different degrees
@@panakinskywalker6391 Yep..good old masking.
When I told my boyfriend about me possibly being autistic he wasn't surprised at all, he was really supportive. I'm so sorry yours was a selfish a-hole. I can't believe how he reacted...
@Futables Sakura There'll be someone for you too one day ♥️
@Futables Sakura honesty, its better to be alone than have bad company. Always remember that. Don't ever degrade yourself for someone just to feel "wanted". It never works. You'll find a good one one day
Same for me. My boyfriend is the only one who believes me truly and supports me
@@markerlee2231 awww my ex bf or whatever he was we both have autism well Aspergers and we met at a boarding school in IL and still friends to this day.
@@Floof1122 good things comes too those who wait
Glad you dumped that guy. His reputation was more important to him than your self esteem.
I read the comments before watching this. The dude was a bigger jerk than I expected.👏🏻 Good job dumping that shallow ahole.
He wasn’t worth your time or energy
When I heard that I almost felt like vomiting
"Don't tell anyone I date a r***". That's the massive yikes
Indeed😮
My mom is really into meditation and says stuff like "empty your mind, don't think of anything" and I'm like, "you can do that?!"
Same lmfao I’m always told to just “not think about it” and I’m just like “dude I can’t even stop thinking about the texture of the pillow I’m laying on, how do I take my mind off of my literal fucking trauma?”
It's not unusual to not be able to do that, I think it's quite a stupid thing to ask of people
Yes, you can. But it takes practice. It’s not necessarily “not thinking about anything” it’s a learning to train your mind to slow down your thoughts. It helps me with anxiety and I feel relaxed after I meditate. Definitely look into it.
Ita not so much "don't think" it's just *bring awareness to your body* so shifting focus from "don't think, empty your mind" to breathing (so thinking "breath in, breathe out.." brings you into your body whereas just sitting down and expecting to empty your mind keeps you trapped in your head.) So it's more about gaining control of your mind and wandering thoughts to be more present in your body rather than emptying your head of any thought ever haha
I agree with Codi Marcel below, he talks about concentrating on your breathing and by so doing emptying your mind.
I was taught that if you concentrate on a spot or a candle flame or your breathing, but, breathing is also used to learn more about yourself, your phsycal reactions, changes of breathing in response to a stressing or good situation as well as, as a support to fix on so as to calm yourself down, that concentration quiets your mind, empties it.
A support is something you concentrate on so as to distract you from your obsessive worries on your daily affairs and so to calm you down. The thing is that you dont actually empty your mind by emptying it, you concentrate on bringing your mind back to the support, a flame or the spot, which is a boring thing to do and as it is boring obliges you have to concentrate a lot, if you dont concentrate on try to keep ypur mind on the support, you dont realise that your mind has wandered.
Also, as your mind keeps wandering away from the flame or the spot or your breath so that you need to concentrate, you are kept pretty busy, especially at first, catching yourself losing the support and bringing your mind back to your boring support and this occupation stops you thinking of the things you worry obsessively about, so that your mind calms down. Your real activity is bringing your mind back to the support.
Meditation on a spot is meant to better you ability to concentrate.
When you mind calms down, quietens, then the computer part of your brain that sorts out your worries for you can sort things out without being interrupted by repetitious thought that does not really answer your worries. Your unconscious brain will then give answers your conscious brain does not give you, and does not time to find, as the answers might be unexpected, which is very energising. When you stop meditating you find you feel great, so full of energy.
It also means that your unconscious brain might sort out some stuff your conscious mind did not think needed sorting or that your unconscious mind might just know worried you, that your conscious brain thought just did not matter all.
Meditation can stop you worrying about things without you having a clue that you were sorting things out, so without traumatising you, I guess. there are things it does not solve or did not for me, how to fight things our for example.
I dont though know which meditaions are suitable, safe for which mental tendencies, autists, depressive etc.
I have heard from Ramiro Calles,who taught me, from his talks, that relaxation, with hatha yoga, properly done is useful and doen any old way is safe though not useful, which is stretching exercises which relax peoples muscles, exercises which are held for about thirty seconds with a thirty second pause after each to relax in, Relax standing for standing exercises or lying down for sitting etc, ones between each exercise. You can find a book on relaxing exercises that have nothing to do with yoga
The program of exercises can then be followed by relaxation. People lying down and relaxing their body, toes to head or however the teacher does relaxation. People relax better after exercises and relaxation is a type of meditation.
Catholics, who use Ramiro Calle in order to learn meditacion, also blacken him as hard as they can. They hope to incorporate meditation into their own practices but want to stop a person who talks of India from having any influlence among Christians.
“Because I said so” FILLS ME WITH RAGE
I don’t think any kids want to hear that . they just are afraid to speak up lol
It fills me with boiling rage, no one would actually take this explanation.
Well henceforth why you guys.... sadly the future of our planet don't know the meaning of no. Smh.
@@Bree-jt6pn Excuse, but don't talk about a generation you aren't in and clearly know nothing about. What is one valid reason to tell your child "Because I said so", hm?
Seriously....the hell?! That pissed me off SO much hearing that a child psychologist freaking said that. Every child is curious because they are A CHILD and just learning the world! That is natural and it should be that way! If you don't explain things to them, how the hell are they going to understand things?! Your job as a parent is to teach your children these things and how to navigate the world and their feelings and etc etc. Her example is perfect: how is a child supposed to know that going out of sight of their parents/guardians/caretakers/etc in public is dangerous if you don't explain that to them in an age appropriate way?! This pisses me off SO BADLY. Hearing it from anyone is bad enough, but a goddamned child psychologist?!?! Disgusting. /rant
Omg "I don't want to be known as the guy dating the R word" I just.. Wow
since I found out I'm autistic, my mother has also accused me of acting more autistic and playing it up... but I really just feel like me, unmasked. so many things I would hide about myself and only do when I was alone, I now understand, so I am more open about them. instead of just ignoring my pain, I voice sensory discomfort.
Oh that’s a mood.
Reading my exact experiance like this made me tear up a lil. I'm going through that word for word and it's so incredibly validating to hear I'm not alone in this experiance. Except I have not been diagnosed and I'm worried I won't be because my mom will say I'm lying
@@Elielawr ❤️️❤️️❤️️
ig this is common lmao people really switch up when you drop the mask (by people i mean parents)
Can we talk about how to handle this type of situation? I repeatedly being told by my family member that u suddenly u become more autistic and need more explanation now! worse i was told to shut up. I had mental breakdown few days ago after being told so by my own mom.
I have never even considered the possibility of myself not being neurotypical. But I am the stressed out, straight of the edge, academically competitive, top of the class *girl.* The severe pressure I have always felt (not from my parents, literally from nothing except my own mind) was something that I just always thought every other super smart kid felt. I think maybe it’s more anxiety and OCD, but still, Paige has opened my eyes to how easily girls can mask anything.
I relate to your first 3 sentences, I was always top of the class girl, extremely anxious, only accepted A and A+, got very frustrated when I got lower grades even though my parents always said it was fine to not do perfect. Found out I was Autistic last year (not saying you are). Hang in there, you're not alone.
Saaaame. Suuper high achiever, constantly stressed, constantly excited, and was weirdly obsessed with irish traditional music from age of about 14 (I'm not Irish). Only AFTER finishing my PhD in neuroscience did I really realise "huh... maybe everyone else isn't constantly overwhelmed by every sensations?" I've embarked on a journey of hearing more from autistic women, because the differences in symptoms were absolutely not taught to us in university!
@@Vaskis4life wow that’s crazy! Even at the doctoral level or neuroscience it’s not addressed. I feel like one thing I do really well is match the social cues of others. It’s easy for me to blend in, but I constantly feel like I’m standing out (Did I greet that person the right way? Am I asking my friends too many questions? What about that random social situation eight years ago?). I hated school dances-didn’t feel like I knew how to act. I wasn’t on social media until I graduated high school just because I never wanted it in middle school. Then it got to a point of “well everyone’s had it for years, so if I got it now that would be weird, and I wouldn’t know what I was doing.” I finally did it because I wanted to keep up with everyone I went to school with. I swear to god I’m not insecure though (I’m the one wearing a mask on my face when only three other kids in a lecture hall of 50 are). Again, so much of that could be generalized anxiety. I also don’t feel like it’s an extra burden for me; it’s how I’ve been for as long as I can remember: a chronic over-thinker. I know stress is unhealthy, but I really can’t imagine my life without it.
@@chloe_3787 So to be fair my PhD was focused on a completely unrelated subject (hearing).. but in my undergrad degree I don't remember it being discussed much beyond just a mention!
But yess I completely completely agree with the rest of that! I am quite sociable and bubbly so most people would have absolutely no idea, but as a kid I really struggled to make friends and a lot of people thought I was weird. I feel like I had to consciously learn "how to behave" around people, and even now it's a constant process of making sure I'm not talking too much or too little or spending too long on one thing...
Also an interesting thing I realised: throughout university I surrounded myself and made friends with mainly people on the spectrum (a big bunch of physicists and musicians). I always thought I was "normal" and I just liked hanging out with spectrum people because they seemed more interesting and straight-forward than neurotypicals. THEN I left university, got a job, and now suddenly I'm realising I'm FARR from "normal" and probably actually inadvertently surrounded myself with like-minded people!!
XD
I agree kids definitely deserve an answer other than “Because I said so” how else will they ever learn?
I’m 19 and have essentially been self diagnosed for about a year because it has been so extremely difficult to get a diagnosis. My psychiatrist is treating me for anxiety and thinks autism is a likely possibly but can’t diagnose me. I relate so much to being told I’m “acting more autistic now.” Ever since finding this out about myself I have been learning to accept myself, be comfortable, and unmask. Just tonight my mom and said to me “well how come you haven’t done (x) for the past 19 years?” and I started crying because I have always been like this, it has always been me, I was just hiding or suppressing the real me. My mom is very supportive, but I think it’s hard for her to understand me even when she thinks she does. Videos like this are what keep me going until I can find people in our community I’m comfortable with and accepted by and until I can get my diagnosis
i've had the exact same experience with my mum :)
My Mom is also autistic so to her I seem pretty normal.
I got diagnosed yesterday after it taking two years of assessments and meetings and it feels amazing to finally have a reason for my feelings and why my brain seemed to work differently to everyone else I knew
Hi Tal,
Happy to hear you finally got answers. Are you in Canada too? Care to share how the process went? Thanks!
Congratulations! I recommend looking into what accomodations your work or school has for autistic people, since now that you have an official diagnosis, you can get access to them. Have a great day! ✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧
@@amyouderkirk4294 I'm from England so it's probably fairly different referral and testing wise
wait it can take that long??? 😀
@@sushilovermf for me it did but covid definitely impacted it so it might have been less if lockdown didn't happen, also I was apparently a difficult one to diagnose since they were so unsure so it just depends on your circumstances but for me it definitely took a while
Whenever I get excited, i stim, A LOT. so, I have to really mask in front of my parents because they always yell at me and tell me to stop. They also force me to make eye contact with them, and I HATE it. I really, really need to get a diagnosis. They yell at me for things that are clearly autism or adhd, and expect me to act like the average 9th grader. Like, no? Is it not obvious that I’m autistic?
I'm so sorry about your situation with your parents, I can definitely relate with most of your comment. Some people aren't good at dealing with mental health disorders or autism and unfortunately those people happen to be the parents of us who happen to have them. It sucks having parents who try to get you to act 'normal', get you to do things which make you feel extremely uncomfortable, and just don't treat you how they should. I would try to say something encouraging but I haven't really been able to think of anything other than saying that you're not the only one going through this and that there are some people in this world who will do what your parents aren't able to and help you get through everything.
When they force you to make eye contact you can try looking at their nose, cheek, mouth or eyebrow. People can't see difference. I don't know if this will be helpful, but might will.
@@nietoperzzszafy2996 seconded the eyebrows or the bit inbetween the eyebrows works best.
I tested this on a bunch of people, I found looking just past them made them ask what I was looking at behind them, same with ears etc.
Except for one friend, who didn't notice the difference in eye contact. He got diagnosed with autism later on.
Nah, I'm pretty sure very few people can stop thinking altogether. When they say "empty your mind" in yoga I don't take it literally. My thoughts do slow down though and become more simple and pleasant. Like I think of my cat or the beach or something.
Can we please agree how brilliant David Templeman's diagnostic method is? Breaking down the patients' walls is the quickest way to see them behave without acting, no masking, just pure vulnerable people being true to their essence. Also the observation before the assessment is pretty smart.
My 12 yr old daughter was just diagnosed in April! I'm in BC Canada, and we paid privately for the assessment. My daughter reminds me a lot of you!
Please Syleena Dawn, how much did you pay for the assessment?
@@bbbbb3474 It was 1600 for us. We're on Vancouver island. My own ASD assessment was 2200. So it depends on the psychologist too!
@@syleenadawn2038 Thank you very much for your answer.
We’re on Vancouver Island too, and I want to assess my son who’s going to be 2 years next July, and $1600 little bit expensive.
@@bbbbb3474I would have him referred to VICAAN (Vancouver Island Childrens Autism Assessment Network), your GP or Pediatrician can send in this referral. The waitlist is anywhere from 10-18 months usually so the sooner the better! These assessments are free/covered through Canada Health!
@@syleenadawn2038 thank you so much for your recommendation, I appreciate it 🙏
I’ve been trying to get my daughter diagnosed since she was four years old. She’s 12 now. We finally got another referral today to go for yet another CDRC assessment. Her therapists/skills trainer are convinced, so I hope whoever we get this time to do the testing can see what we all KNOW.
wish us luck! 🙏🙏🙏
good luck :) i wish you and your family the best!!
good luck! hope your daughter gets her diagnosis soon!
Wishing you and your daughter the very best and hope that you get her diagnosis this time 🤞🤞🤞❤️❤️
Good luck!!!
Good luck! Remember that self-diagnosis is totally valid if you're not able to get the answers you need!
Hearing your story has given me so much clarity. I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and OCD also. I’m 19 and I just found out I am autistic. I was told I had ADHD when I was 11 but to me, that diagnosis always seemed... slightly off. It’s so interesting how many of the things you discussed in this video I lived. Thank you for sharing so much with us. You are a treasure.
This is so similar to my diagnosis story. I’m female and was diagnosed in a mh hospital at 16 (now 20), where they told me it would previously have been called Asperger’s. I slowly became such a different, more well balanced person, as I accepted myself. I eventually unmasked in front of my parents which was great (but sometimes I wish I could re-mask lol so people would speak to me normally, like yeah I find it hard to speak but I have an IQ of 140)... The lockdowns have been terrible for my interpersonal skills because I didn’t feel the need to talk to anyone, so just didn’t, and now I cannot hold a conversation 🤓
My social skills have taken a nose dive after lockdown for so long. Basically having to relearn it..
I'm 27 and was recently diagnosed with ASD and your TH-cam videos and Tik Toks played a big part in why I decided to seek a diagnosis. I just found myself identifying with a lot of the symptoms that you and other Autistic creators described and I've always struggled with understanding and engaging socially. So thanks for the great content and being part of my diagnosis story.
Same here!
“i’m not in school anymore so it’s good” literally me rn
Hugs. Schools, in general, have gotten insane. I know it's not on purpose, but it's uncanny how they almost seem designed as torture devices for those on the spectrum. Well, some of them anyway, I know there have to be healthy schools out there too.
So glad I watched. I'm 31, just diagnosed a few months ago (story below). But I've been working through what that unmasking looks like with friends and family. I've tried to embrace rather than hide things that I've learned are just part of being autistic. Things like my love of bright colorful clothing and decorations, or a few ticks that I used to get embarrassed by and would fight to suppress, and recently I've opened up more with folks at work.
As always thank you, Paige.
I asked for a behavioral health eval for anxiety and depression toward the end of last year. I threw in sensory processing disorders as well. This because I had noticed the way my whole body seemed to relax when I used a pair of high-quality noise cancelling headphones.
It was an hour long appointment that went for two hours. I felt peppered with questions and at times she would ask me these strange things but the break through was when she asked "Do you find light touch (like finger tips/nails moving over your skin) uncomfortable?" And I stared blankly and asked "yeah, my whole life why?"
She said "I think you're autistic". I asked why no one who had evaluated me before caught it, and she said "honestly, if you're verbal, amd they can explain most of the other stuff with anxiety, ADHD, or depression... most don't look for autism."
My younger sister was just diagnosed last summer, and some family members were really crappy about it. you’ve been a major help for her and i’m really glad you and your platform exist. thank you for educating me about how to support my sister, and for being so validating to her!
Thanks so much for all your content - as a 56 year-old who grew up in an era when diagnosis wasn't even possible (and when well-meaning parents tried to force children to act neurotypical), it's fantastic to instead see autism framed as functional characteristics. My own teenage response was a combination of disengagement and masking (and reading so very many books), but it wasn't until very recently that I realized how much of my self is simply perfectly normal autism. I honestly don't know how autistic people who weren't bright enough to create an active neurotypical persona ever got by in society. Please keep pushing that autism itself isn't something to be cured, so that we can all be ourselves, and especially so that autistic teenagers will better know their individual selves.
About a year ago, I was told that maybe I’m autistic by a friend of mine who is a doctor. I was weirded out by it and didn’t look into it until recently. I’ve been doing extensive research and I do believe I am autistic. It makes so much sense. I’ve always felt like an alien in this world. I’m afraid to tell my therapist, psychiatrist, let alone family and friends. I remember I told my therapist about it and he said I literally can’t be autistic because I look normal, smile and empathize with people. And that really made me doubt everything. But the more I research, the more I identify myself as autistic. I’m so afraid to tell anyone. 🥺
Thank you for sharing your story, Paige. You make me feel less alone.
I wanna thank you cuz, thanks to you, I'm halfway through my evaluations, and was just told today that I am, in fact, in the spectrum :) . I started suspecting whilst watching your Tiktoks in 2020, right after being diagnosed with ADHD. THANK YOU so much for teaching us!!
Relate~~!!! I do learn about autism by Paige's video as well
I got diagnosed a week ago, and I’m having a lot of doubt and impostor syndrome. I really relate to some of the things Paige said at the end, especially with accepting the diagnosis. Hell, my mum said something similar to hers (mine said “ever since you fixated that you’re autistic, you’ve been acting like an autistic”) and that made me feel awful, so I’m glad someone else has been through something similar and I’m not alone.
You’re very inspirational person Miss Paige ☺️ I’m sorry you’ve battled suicidal thoughts. Being on the autistic spectrum myself, and being misunderstood my whole life, I’ve had those thoughts too. I’m glad you were able to get through them and I can honestly say the world is a better place with you in it ☺️
I tried so hard to get a diagnosis for my tics and other issues for years and always got told they would go away so eventually I stopped trying. I saw your video speaking with your mom about your experience and it made me want to pursue getting a diagnosis again and finally FINALLY yesterday I got my evaluation back and was diagnosed with Tourettes and ADHD as well as anxiety. I just want to say that you had a part in this and the content you put out there is important and I appreciate it so much. I'm 29 and finally have a diagnosis.
Thank you for sharing your story! Females on the spectrum can get a lot of judgement due to acceptable masking. Some people can't wrap their minds around others suffering and not sharing. Autistic men obviously have their own stigmas, but I mention women because autism in females has always been treated differently. Glad you're working on being true to yourself ♥
I’ve been on a waiting list for my country’s public mental health services over a year, my family has had to result to starting down the private route to look at getting some form of diagnosis, autism or something else, for me. My therapist said I had some of the worst sensory issues she’s come across in 30 years of work, she’s dead set on getting me tested for autism. Watching these videos genuinely keeps me going, it’s just nice to know people are surviving, that they’re coping in one way or another. Gives me hope!
I started displaying autistic traits as a toddler, but I only got diagnosed at age 5 because that was back in the days of the DMS-IV, so at first the experts were like "some form of PDD-NOS, BUT NOT AUTISM", and even then, I was diagnosed with Asperger's. My parents were told not to tell me about my difference until I was considered mature enough to understand, and it wasn't until two days before my 14th birthday that I was told, during a time when I wasn't doing very well mentally. When I learned that, I was so happy I almost cried. I had somehow never completely picked it up despite years of speech therapy, motor skills therapy, and generally being treated a bit differently at school. Even so, I always felt like I was different from my peers, but I couldn't really tell how. If anything, I strongly believe that telling me earlier might have saved me quite a few tears and confusion. Today, I am 19 years old and I have fully shed the mask; I am a goddamn autistic! >:)
Obviously I haven’t watched the video yet, but thank you for sharing your story. I myself would like to get a diagnosis because clearly something about me just isn’t quite “right”. I’m not sure if it’s autism or adhd or something else but those two are the most likely and I’m still young but I’m past the age that most boys (and kinda just people in general) would get diagnosed. Thank you for educating and spreading awareness!!
I really feel for you. It’s uncanny, years ago when I was having the worst mental health episode of my life, for all the same reasons you said (I was just so overwhelmed and so burned out and struggling hugely), I even wrote the exact same thing you did on that referral sheet. Only thing is, I got diagnosed with other stuff. But now, I’m finally pursuing a diagnosis (at 25). I thank you so much for spreading so much awareness, because people like you have helped me realise who I am so much.
I'm originally from Romania, currently living in the UK, where I got my diagnosis at 37 (!!!!) When I was a teenager, I used to have frequent mental breakdowns because of stress and not feeling understood and the psychologists I went to said I'm only depressed and gave me pills which turned me into a zombie too. I didn't take them for too long, I preferred to agonize and be myself, but at the same I was masking to avoid bullying and being made fun of. My anxiety aggravated over time, I had trouble at work, changed jobs a lot until I left the country. I finally feel free, | have a job where I don't have to pretend to be NT and my diagnosis hasn't changed my colleagues and managers' opinion of me. I wish I had this support in my country.
Ooh what is that job where you don't have to mask? 😮
I love to feel this recognition, I’m getting my official diagnosis right now.
@Custom BatchServices autism isn't something to cure
Thank you for sharing your story. My whole family knows I am Autistic, but after some unpleasant childhood experiences, I became very self-conscious of my atypical behavior and don't even feel comfortable stimming in front of my family. It is very stressful to try and act appropriately even in front of family and friends. I hope I can be brave like you and let myself be comfortable in my own skin.
Hi Paige, I just wanted to say that you are such a good story teller. I usually get bored during these types of videos but your video was so engaging and helpful to watch. ❤️❤️
I’m so glad you shared. Found your channel a month ago and sent my mom the video where you interviewed your mom about autism. From there the ball started rolling - I found a psychiatrist who’s willing to work with me soon.
Just wanted to say that I relate to so much of what you’re saying, and don’t listen to haters on social media - please keep making videos and talking about autism because it’s been helping me so much and I’m sure many other people as well. I’ve been suicidal for 6 months straight, and couldn’t understand why I’m always crying even though I have a good life. Even tonight I tried to study for my exam tomorrow but I’m so burnt out and stressed that I can’t focus. My thoughts are everywhere. If I hadn’t found your videos when I did... if I didn’t realize that I’m autistic - I dunno how I’d be handling it all. So thank you
“The smart autism” to me implies that other types of autism are not “smart” so that made me a little uncomfortable but great video
Well that is the implication. As in that can be the public perception of the different types of autism.
If you watch her other videos, Paige doesn't think like that- she's really against high and low functioning labels
as Katie A said that isnt how paige feels & im pretty sure she was being sarcastic when she said that!
i think she mentioned it bc it rubbed her the wrong way.., also i think a lot of autistics deemed “high functioning” or “aspies” feel a pressure to excel and to not ask for help which can create trauma
Tbh that was told by the Dr/psychologist/or whatsoever it wasnt Paige who said so. I mean I was told similar word as well, “Albert Einstein is autism as well. So autism doesnt mean u are stupid”. I was like "WTF is going on here?"
Dam I also had a breaking point when I was 15 but being from America and under a known crappy health insurance, I was just given the diagnosis of depression, generalized anxiety, and severe social anxiety and sent along my way. I spent the next 5 years in therapies and treatments that just didn’t click with me. I hate to say this since it’s fundamentally flawed but I’m pretty sure what went wrong for my case was that I didn’t express my struggles enough and ultimately wasn’t of concern despite clearly struggling. Idk I grew up internalizing my pain and too afraid to speak up for myself, getting by each day was all I could ask for. But yeah I just had enough and literally wrote down on my paper, I struggle day by day and I need help. This wording finally got their full attention and thankfully gave me full closure as I finally got diagnosed with autism. Your story just goes to show that advocating for yourself gets you by a long way.
I just now realized that I have autism and I’m sobbing because there’s just so much relief like I have a reason for everything now and I’m mind blown. My story is very similar to yours so it’s nice to know I’m not alone.
My son is high functioning Autistic like you. He has always said I am Autistic and it can’t be fixed because it is who I am. Getting help that fits his needs is almost impossible because he wasn’t properly diagnosed until he was an adult. To get assistance you must be diagnosed before you are 21. You are so positive and open you make comfortable to talk about this. Keep safe and stay like you are. You are amazing.
Thank you so much, this literally opens my world. I am now 22 and getting my diagnosis, almost done with the process and I didn't even ask for it. I reached out for help because I couldn't cope with everyday "normal" sounds, smells or other sensory stimuli. I was getting really stressed out and couldn't handle my internship anymore. Now it all becomes so much clearer, I really thought I was the only one who had these feelings. What you described : "always asked why why why?" as a kid is sooo relatable! "Because I said so" is no answer xD
The unmasking thing omg. It's just when you finally have a word for why you feel like you can just do what your body and mind actually want
Thank you for dropping this video. I wish I could’ve been there for you when you faced the criticism and confusion. You are amazing and I love your work. I was diagnosed at age five, so I don’t remember what I was like with autism back then. But like you said, “I’m not broken”. I consider it my superpower. Again, thank you for this.
We celebrated my 13 year old daughter’s diagnosis! It’s so much better having a name for all the things that make her unique. Also, her ASD evaluation was lengthy, I think we were there for 5-6 hours. It was so much more gentle than what you described. We had a lovely psychologist that listened and was kind with her. She would have definitely shut down if it were an interrogation. So I say, if you think you might have a neurodivergency, seek out the diagnosis. She’s so much more confident knowing she’s a super smart, neurodivergencent instead of a not so great neurotypical. :)
From about 16:00 is so relatable. My parents kept talking about how I'd changed or 'gotten worse' since my ADHD diagnosis and I kinda just wanna send them this.
(I was gonna comment before this to say your makeup is like perfect 🥺)
I recently screwed things up with all but one or two of my friends (never been good at keeping friends), haven't said a word to anyone for almost 6 months now, can't get up in the mornings, parents hate me, and I just feel like shit day in and day out. I want to thank Paige for posting today and reminding me that I'm not the only one dealing with this shit, I really needed it. If anyone is reading my comment, I hope you are doing well.
for 30 years i felt broken, i hated myself, i struggle to communicate, to understand and so many other things, then someone advised i seek out an Autism diagnosis, on the waiting list for 3-4 years and i'm a year in but i feel whole now and i'm slowly learning to love myself.
3-4 years for a diagnosis?! Wow, I really hope you get it soon and are able to keep improving; hang in there.
@@Daniel_Paterson Thank you, yeah it's pretty long where i am in the UK.
Thank you so much for sharing this! This is so important, and especially with the part when after you accepted the diagnosis being "accused" for acting it up, because the thing is girls grow up with way different expectations, and so that's why so many girls grow up automatically masking more without even realizing! And why more girls and women are diagnosed at later ages than boys, because society have different expectations as to how you should act. And being "smart" means you adapt differently and autism is very much "rule following" in that sense, and so for girls if they are told they need to act or hide stuff, they do. And because you are aware enough to not want to "stand out" more than you "have to", so you hide parts of you. Also the "being perfect, striving for perfectionism" has been such a normalized thing with girls, that most people don't see or realize the insane lengths one goes to just to do that. I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, but at first they did think autism. When I was around 16... but no one saw that until I started therapy, so when the topic of autism was brought up (this was... 2013?) It just felt so farfetched, and I was very opposed to that. Of course, I knew nothing about it at the time. But now later in life I see why they would think I was autistic. But for me, ADHD with OCD makes more sense? Because yes I do score highly in certain categories on the diagnostics forms for autism, but I also know that it doesn't fit with all the rest? I don't know how to explain it, but ADHD makes a lot more sense with me overall? But I am 25, and just NOW finished diagnostics for ADHD (because ofc medications I was on from 20 until now, I couldn't get fully diagnosed for medications because they would affect the outcome of any diagnostical tests? So had to stop medications before finishing the full diagnosis). I actuallt just started medications yesterday after waiting months to see a doctor that is allowed to prescribe that kind of medications... but yeah, getting a diagnosis and actually accepting it, is a process. And so many neurotypicals don't understand how neurodivergent brains work. And ugh I hate yoga and mindfulness, I CANNOT just NOT think... that is such a stupid concept and it annoys me beyond belief that everyone talks about it as if everyone should love it, and a cure all. Nope. It stresses me out so much more because THINKING about clearing my mind, makes me more stressed. And all the weird music they use during yoga (whale sounds etc? Or just ocean sounds?) Are too much for my brain, as I have sensory sensitivity. I also struggle with food because of texture, and if I spend too much time chewing food or whatever, it causes me to gag because I cannot handle having food in my mouth longer than just a second. So I only eat easily chewable food (hardly any meats), and food of certain textures... but I think a lot of people don't understand ADHD, and hearing how my brain works would assume autism, but if you actually look into ADHD, past the hyperactivity/concentration issues etc, you'll see a lot of overlapping with autistic traits. And yeah, I finally feel like I understand why my head is the way it is? Also telling a child "because I said so" is so counterproductive. I have two nephews, and myself as a child, anyone told me that would make me frustrated and confused. And same with my nephews. (They actually also both have ADHD, but opposite sides, which is fascinating because I see myself in both of them? It's so cool in a way). Telling kids to just follow your lead blindly is not very educational, and will at some point backfire.
ahh i remember after my neurological evaluation SOBBING after it bc how stressed it made me but i was also diagnosed with autism that day
I was diagnosed with autism at the age of 25. I’m now 32 and mum and wife. I see my autism as a super power because I see things around me different. My husband is so patient and helps me in social situations. I’ve only just found your channel and it’s great to see someone speaking about autism on such a high platform. Well done and love from the uk xxx
Hi Paige. I hope you read this because I just want to say that you helped me. I was in therapy for ADHD when I saw one of your videos and realized I had a great deal in common with you. I mentioned it to my therapist and we then did tests for autism and I ticked all the boxes. Apparently I was masking very well. Your video was very encouraging for me. Again, thank you!
I love what he said about sheldon cooper. This was a great way assessment. I got mine at 17 and it was different
I’ve had an autism diagnosis for a few years now. I’m 22 and I’ve just discovered your channel and I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW MUCH ALIKE WE ARE. I actually thought to myself whilst watching a few of your videos “is this girl copying me” and I felt paranoid - but obviously you’re not as you’ve never seen or met me and I live in England haha. We just share so many of the same traits (not all); and now I feel comforted and I understand myself better because you explain everything in ways my head can understand. I’m not sure what the purpose of this comment is, but I find your videos so genuine and helpful so thank you.
Thank you for what you're doing Paige, I hope its helping you most of all ❤
being in the ER on suicide watch fr sucks but for me it was literally oddly such a better environment than home
OH MY SWEEET GOD! YOUR OUTFIT for the sponsorship part!! SO cute!! I am OBSESSED!! reminds me of Road To Avonlea if you remember that show here in Canada!! Or Joe from Little Women. I love it so much! the hat is so cute too!
I can SO RELATE when you said you can't believe that neurotypical people sometimes dont have thoughts. I seriously cannot imagine that at all omg
Your makeup is so pretty 😍😍😍
I'm autistic (just been diagnosed recently) and I can really relate to all of that doctor stuff. My diagnosis has been a long time in the making and I've had to go to sooo many different people!
I love how accepting you are of yourself I'm still learning how to be... I love your channel!!
I feel like from your intro you didn't necessarily really expect this to help anyone else because it's not, like, a strategy video for a path to diagnosis, but listening to you talk about why... yeah, that still helped a lot. I also got the depression mis-diagnosis for the same reason, and my actual motives were the same. Thank you so much for making this video.
I am a Canadian in the process of trying to get a assessed for ADHD. When you spoke about the financial aspects of these diagnostic processes it really hit home to what I am experiencing right now. It is several thousand dollars and I'm not even sure if I can afford to keep the appointment. I am so glad you were able to get the help that you needed and that you are here with us today sharing your story and educating others. You are a ray of sunshine :)
I just got diagnosed this week and the first time I heard about autism was in your "autism in girls" series last year
I just wanna say thank you a lot, it changed my life
I searched for this video because it’s hard for me to make friends & I was a cry baby until now that I’m 19 years old whenever I feel stressed over school or something else. I graduated high school in June 10, 2023. I’m now at University of Portland majoring in nursing.
I loved the testing process I think I loved sharing what I know
It was thanks to a tik tok you posted last year that I realized I could be autistic, and that's what led me to get a diagnosis (at the age of 35). The validation I got from realizing I was a perfectly autistic person (with ADHD!) has been the biggest gift. It's been a year and I am still in awe. I "spot" my ND brain in every day situations and I no longer wonder why the hell I am so weird and different (which was a big struggle before). I now find it fascinating and love me even more for being unique.
the last few minutes of the video really helped me, im on the track to getting a diagnosis and kinda just noticing in the last month that i have autism and just hearing you say about finally unmasking after YEARS just makes sense to me. if you see this you dont know how much youve helped me in my own journey, so thank you❤
I was assessed and diagnosed pretty recently after years of waiting (I'm almost 32). I'm pretty upset that I went for so long without one because I can't mask, but somehow flew under the radar.
I had my diagnostic test this week. I had the 2 story tests plus many other tests. It took over 3 hrs. I am waiting a month for the results appointment. I made the appointment in August, and it is march now. The doctor i saw, well psychiatrist, specializes in both children and adults with autism. I live in North carolina, usa. There are at least 7 places in my state that test. but some test only children, and most places had a 10 month wait.
I'm Male I Have Autism I Was Diagnosed With Autism At Age 14 I'm 28 Years Old Now Iv'e Been Living Interdependently On My Own For 3 Years So Far I'm From The Uk United Kingdom
Hearing you say that you had to create a whole different relationship with your family really struck me.
The person I was around my family through my whole life until finally getting diagnosed at 27 was me masking.
The relationships I had with my parents and family were so hollow because I was always trying to reflect what I thought they wanted from me. But it's been through me learning how to accept myself that I've been able to start over with them in a more honest way and been able to see the ways they struggled and benefitted from their own 'quirks' that I know are a part of the illnesses I experience.
None of my family really knew me for a very long time and it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who has had to overcome the barrier in communication mental illness can place in front of you.
thank you for sharing your experiences. I'm so sorry you were treated poorly by people for it!
I grew up dx'd with OCD. I had what seem like autistic traits, my mom told me even my childhood therapist said I had issues with "fixating on the same things/activities" and wanted me to try "new things more." I had other signs too, sensory sensitivities, getting very upset about routine changes etc, but it was all seen as my OCD! I also stim and don't make eye contact etc, and people mention it to me but no one's ever said "you might be autistic." I'm doing more research now to see if I am autistic. I resonate with the feeling that I need to re-teach everyone who I am as I unmask more.
Thank you for your videos and all the work you do!
Good on you girl... And that ex boyfriend is a dweeb for saying what he said to you just to protect his on self interests. You be the best you, whatever that looks like, always!
I just got diagnosed. It feels so nice that you walked into the same things i do, and that it will get better
I found out what autism was from a TH-cam vid last year. So much made sense to me so I booked an appointment, so many months later I got the diagnosis: autism and ADHD. Now that I know this, I’ve been doing so much better. Working with my sensory issues, learning more about what I can do and not force, not mask. I’m at a point in my life that I really don’t care what others say, I’m happy I found me.
We share almost the same experience. I discovered autism by watching Paige's videos last year. I did get diagnosed last year on October, ADHD and Autism.
@@sarah3412 I saw the video of iilluminaughtii on autistic women. And got diagnosed February this year. Before that I really had no clue on what autism was aside from some people have it and it’s some sort of disorder. Bit scary to think that most people think this, and don’t know the depth of what it really is.
@@stellarivers92 YEahhh~~ Tbh, it scared shit out of me the moment I relate to autism traits. I am in that denying state due to lack of knowledge that I have about autism. In my country Autism is non functioning person, throwing tantrum in public sometimes violent, a curse, burden to the family, etc. I totally try to get rid of the idea in my mind because Im scared.
"Unalive oneself", that's excellent!
Since intelligence is mostly hereditary, it's funny that your parents are less intelligent! But it's not unheard of either. I am intellectually gifted, but my father is much more intelligent than I am. It would definitely be challenging if my parents couldn't stimulate and challenge me intellectually. Is that a struggle for you?
This helped me so much girl. Made me less anxious about getting a disnogsis
Thank you for speaking about autism and for introducing the possibility of it to me. I’ve struggled my whole life and you are the reason I’m finally going to take the steps to find out💜
i really felt that part at the end when she talked about her mom. i've only realized in the past few months that i'm probably autistic since my brother was diagnosed when he was little and he was always the autistic kid in the house. i never noticed i was masking and now that i'm trying to let myself act more authentically (both consciously and unconsciously because burnout has drained all my energy to mask), my parents think something's wrong and that i'm not myself. i didn't even notice for a while that i was acting differently. i feel more like my fullest self than i ever have but it's sad that the people who've known me for years are so surprised by it because aren't used to it.
"I don't want to be known as the guy who's dating an R-word"
Well, there's really a quick fix for that . . .
I just have to say, I loved this video, thank you so much for existing and doing this! Thank you!
This is awesome for me ,thanks !
I am 60 now and I found out on my own one year ago.
Then I was diagnosed 6 months later.
What I find hard is family members that don't believe me.
I am the youngest in my family and there is no respect , give me the kudos that I have researched and read extensively before my diagnosis, that I waited for and paid for...
what do I know right!
My sister works with autistic kids so she thinks she knows better because I'm not rocking in the corner and she's known me all my life she says I am just an overthinker.
My brain doesn't stop ......because I am AUTISTIC!
FFS.....it is so invalidating and disregulating!
I‘ve been researching a lot about autism in the past few days and I can relate to a huge amount of the feelings etc that autistic people have. It just feels like you‘re talking about my life in this video, I can relate to this so much, so I‘m gonna talk about that I think I have autism with my psychologist today.
Thank you so much for all your videos Paige
is it narcistic personality Anxiety Disorder
manic depression, generalised anxiety
Autistic spectrum disorder, Psychosis, aspergers, post traumatic stress,
bipolar, split personality disorder, better to seek professional diagnosis rather then self , experts know best
Thank you for sharing this story! I can see how it would be hard to share, but we need to end the stigma!! I’m so happy I stumbled upon your tik tok vid and ended up here!
I can see so many traits in myself. Calling the doc for a referral asap!
The brain must always be on maximum overdrive.
I love speaking to autistic people and trying many ways to fit in. I always tell them to just be themselves around me. I have a 3 year old niece who is autistic so I want to see what her world is like, and help her feel as comfortable as possible and to know she’s just like any other human being
A lot of things you went through describes me exactly I just wish I had known about it years ago I could’ve save myself a lot of headaches and problems and probably save myself from being in the hospital so many times I got to do is work on straightening out my life more and getting people to except the fact that I am autistic and try and get myself out of this hell of when I get overwhelmed of wanting just to end it all and getting overwhelmed and feeling the pain it just gets to be extremely uncomfortable and I can’t handle it and I just feel like nobody understands me I have always felt like an alien and I am 56 years old can you imagine trying to survive your entire life not wanting to live life not understanding who you are your entire life I’m sure you could but nobody else seem to understand it except me
Watching this on my way to my doctors office (trying to get an diagnosis)
Thank you for this story❤️
Thank you for sharing sounds like you have a great mom! I've struggled for years and years and my parents did absolutely nothing. Trying to rebuild myself by myself. Thank you girl
I was diagnosed with autism at 16 years old. For years before my diagnosis I new I was not a typical child
ahhhh, paige!!! i happy stimmed so much when i saw that you uploaded- thank you so much! 💕💞💞
Hey Paige!!!!
i relate so much to this. when I started to accept that I was autistic I wanted to talk to my bf at the time about it (my psychologist told him before me) and he argued with me because he wanted my diagnosis to be ADHD like him. eventually he realized that autism is part of my identity. now I can give him examples of how me being autistic was present our whole relationship and he agrees saying "that was us"
i think not having thoughts is less of a NT thing haha, i have ADHD and my brain is either 100 miles per second or just staring into space with no thoughts lmao. it’s something i’ve heard from others with ADHD that they also do
As someone who is currently in the process of being tested for autism (partly because of watching your videos made me think I too could be on the spectrum and partly because of me now realizing the strange things I do could very well be because of autism), this was good to hear because it reminds me that I don't have anything wrong with me, like how I've felt the last very long time.
OMG, this is really similar to my diagnosis process! I was diagnosed with ASD at 15 (I'm 18 now), when I went to a psicologist for suspecting I had ADHD (I was right), and It was like: "but how does it makes you feel?" "I don't know", "Yes, you know, you just don't want to tell me", "No! I really don't know", and he was like "And how do you think your mum feels, when X and y, and z", and I said "I have no idea, but I know I want to go home!!"
It took me lots of sesions like this, but I finally was diagnosed, and I remember when I told my best friend, she said: "wait, are you trying to tell me that you are autistic? I already know, It is so obvious!"
And that were some of the similar parts, sorry for the bad writting, english is not my first languaje.
Thanks for sharing It, I love lo hear different stories, and you are really nice ;)
I'm really glad I watched this video Paige. It made me realize what my abusive former psychiatrist meant when he said he did psychiatry "the old way." I realized my psychiatrist was doing the same BS yours did, torturing patients to reveal "their true self" or whatever. In my case, he diagnosed me with "mild psychosis" and shoved this awful medication on me, which was NOT an accurate diagnosis. In your case you got an ACCURATE diagnosis of autism so that's good. I was also diagnosed with autism as a kid before I even saw this terrible psychiatrist though. I'm glad you got the help you need but some psychiatrists are just the worst and it pisses me off.
Anytime I watch these types of videos I can’t help it but I get jealous of yalls mom. My mom hid that I had autism from me until I was 23. I had a teacher who suspended I was on the spectrum and recommended I get checked for it and instead of doing that my mom switched me schools. Fast forward to when I was a adult and had what I now know was a meltdown the day before thanksgiving, but then I thought it was a panic attack and I asked her why she never taught me about anxiety or tried to get me help for it growing up because I’ve always been so overwhelmed. And that’s when she slipped and told me a teacher suspected I had autism and I knew nothing about autism at the time but something in my brain just flipped and I went home and did research. It was like my life was being read to me and I called the suicide hotline because I didn’t know what to do. I had a existential crisis and eventually found a therapist who specializes in autism. After our first meeting she recommended I get screened for it. It’s been almost 4 years now. It took my mom 2 years to admit I was actually autistic but she still won’t admit she neglected me as a kid.