Attraction to Straight Guys: forbidden love and the complex dynamics of gay-straight male bonding
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 พ.ค. 2024
- As gay guys, our relationship with straight men can be quite complicated. In this episode, we’re exploring the complex connection between gay-straight male bonds, from platonic friendship to secret attractions. We'll also discuss common misconceptions and challenges that can arise when navigating these dynamics.
Some of the topics we’ll be covering are:
🌈 Our relationships with straight men
🌈 How early experiences influenced these relationships
🌈 What makes straight men attractive
🌈 Sharing our intimate experiences
Whether you're a gay or straight, join us for this episode about exploring the nuances of gay-straight male connections.
0:00 Introduction
2:40 Crushes to Straight Men
3:06 Internalized Homophobia
4:40 How Do You Feel When Somebody Thinks That Your Straight?
6:00 Femininity
8:30 Our relationships with straight men
24:38 What do you find attracted about straight men?
39:52 Sharing our intimate experiences
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These are only labels if that’s what you make them. As a gay man, who’s open with many people and friends of all sexualities, it’s perfectly normal. It’s also normal not to discuss it with others. Being aware of your emotions is not political, don’t make it political. That is a sure sign of your escapism. Face your emotions, even if you don’t speak of it with others.
Being attracted to masculinity in men is not homophobic, it’s homosexual.
Exactly! Why is the first speaker assuming that gay=femininity? Gay just means you like dick. You can take dick and be into guys without wanting to be a woman. To believe this is to engage in heteronormative thinking.
Is he trying to say that if you aren’t acting feminine, you aren’t gay enough? Seriously!!
Liking and admiring masculinity in other men is homosexual? Seriously? It is part of being a normal man right?
@@Payel5 …this is a gay channel. So yes I’m speaking on behalf of being a gay man. Are you lost, madam?
@@kaymillerfromTX I am not lost. But I think your definition is not correct. As a woman, I love to look at and admire beautiful women all the time, it is not homosexual. Same for men, they can like other hadsome men without being gay. It is wanting to have sex which may qualify as such.
I really disagree with the attraction to masculinity being about internalized homophobia or an automatic rejection of femininity. I love my penis, I like to be competitive in certain areas and being 'gross' in typical boy ways and do boy things; a lot of my friends tell me how I would be such a great father, but, also I love to paint my nails and put on makeup and wear feminine styles of clothing. I am that person that gives gifts in gift bags with tissue paper and cards, and send thank you cards and host dinner parties because I love to play hostess and I identify with that old school 50's housewife. I really love masculine energy and qualities! I want to submit and get princess treatment. To the point I was struggling once again with if I was a gay man because I found myself also very attracted to Studs (masc lesbians) and transmen. That's when I realized that I actually identify more with being a non-binary person and it's perfectly ok that I'm attracted to masculine persons no matter their gender.
Bravo man! glad you got some clarity on this stuff.
Why does this have to start with “patriarchy” and victimhood? Maybe we just like masculine me and that includes attractions to straight guys.
Right? Why is liking masculine gay men “toxic” to them but chasing straight men isn’t? Smh.
@@MiguelitoD770Because maybe they can't get laid?😂
This 3rd wave feminist ideology is the real toxic shit. EVERYTHING goes back to the patriarchy. What I most enjoy about being gay is that I can completly ignore women that had traumatic experiences with men and use that to fuel their angry based ideology, but then I find that most gay guys also adhere to this problematic world view... so sad.
the guys they’re hooking up with are bi, queer, or DL. i have straight male friends that will never cross that boundary. as a bi dude i hate the constant bi erasure that men must be gay or straight/experimental.
Lmao your fighting for bi representation in DL men ?
I'm glad you said bi not "pansexual "
I just don't see being attracted to masculinity as an index of "internalized homophobia"-it's just a matter of being erotically drawn to the masculine and not to the feminine. It's not a "rejection" of anything; it's a just a choice. It doesn't signal some internal confusion.
I agree. I don't think the host knew where he was going when he said this. The discussion that followed could not have been any more "off topic" -- to internalized homophobia, that is. It was a good discussion otherwise.
Absolutely valid! Everyone has unique attractions, and it's great that you recognize and embrace your preferences. Diversity in attraction is what makes us all wonderfully unique. 👍
How does it even make sense to anyone that us being attracted to masculinity would be homophobic and not just homosexual? 😒
It's a way for bitter and lonely people to feel better about themselves. It's not me its external prejudice etc
Yikes. it's kinda odd to be attracted to a person that CANNOT be attracted to you...and if he IS attracted to you, then is he really straight?
No, it's perfectly normal to be attracted to someone who cannot reciprocate. Gay men are attracted to other MEN. 95% or more of the adult male population is heterosexual. It is inevitable that you will be attracted to lots of hetero males - unless you are able to surround yourself exclusively with other gay men and have no face-to-face contact with hetero males whatsoever.
I respect the community but I generally dislike how all labels put people into boxes & mentally confined. Maybe its just me, I don't really care what I'm identified as bc deep down I know humans are complex beings. It all depends on the individual, not the category they're in.
Everything is political now. And the old days of "labels are for jars" is long gone. Every facet of human sexuality has to be categorised and have its own flag etc . This generation will need lots of therapy 😒
There is too much focus on internalised homophobia.
Not being attracted to femme qualities in men does not always equal a phobia, internal or external.
Internalised homophobia should be the ogre we must confront when we are engaging in destructive patterns of thought and behaviour.
Sometimes straight men are just really sexy; wanting them isn't a crime, but expecting them to be available is a delusion.
The wider challenge is dealing with any prospective partners that you can't have because they aren't interested in you, that may be for many reasons: looks, body type, personality, sex, gender, ethnicity, athleticism, educational level, sexuality, etc. - as cruel as any form of judgement may feel, this mechanism is at play all around the world in every human sub-group.
This issue is more a case of developing strategies for dealing with rejection - explicit or implied, from whomever it is that is unavailable to you.
It is fine to acknowledge that society in general defaults to a heteronormative model, and on top of that there is overt prejudice. But it is unhelpful to examine all issues from a purely therapeutic perspective where one perpetually frames a world-view of victimhood, the need to heal and be repaired. Yes this may have its place when people are struggling with esteem &/or identity issues, but we need to develop a philosophy of normality of the LGBTQ+ "human condition".
I get it that the speakers on this video are working in this field so will characterise things the way they see them but I'd argue we need to use more human language and steer away from the clinical or according to some form of ideology/agenda which is what I sensed from what I was hearing.
From a personal perspective I think it is ok to fetishise hyper-masculinity and to associate it mainly with certain types of straight men as long as one accepts that some gay men are just as physically masculine - despite how they may act as people, and that many straight men exhibit feminine qualities.
The ultimate test is about the intoxicating effects testosterone has that occurs more commonly with athletic straight men. This is physiological. For most gay men the effects of it are attenuated as we gestate - we have developmental differences that distinguish us for all of our lives. This is why gaydar can work. We are different, sometimes subtly sometimes very obviously.
The aura of the straight man is an ideal that few gay men can match - that isn't to denigrate gay men, it is just to acknowledge and accept that most of us lust for it - without necessarily hating ourselves about it.
Is living in such self delusion pleasant ?
@@maxmax-hv4ckI don't know, I don't live in it. Maybe you should ask someone who does.
@@maxmax-hv4ckIdk, tell us? Surely it can’t be chasing men who will never be into you and spending all your time in the comments throwing a hissy fit 🤔
@@maxmax-hv4ckWell, tell us? You would know the answer. Lol.
"For most gay men the effects of it are attenuated as we gestate"...gestate? would you care to explain what you mean here? great post btw
I got so lucky. I've no idea how I did it, but I managed to train myself so that I automatically lose all romantic attraction even to bi men, let alone the straight ones; just learning of any interest in women turns that switch permanently off, and it's been a great blessing.
Definitely agree
It's seems to me it's because he is not fully yours as a female would feel if she learned her partner was hetroflexible. And, vice versa if she was into women.
What a ridiculous statement.
i’m bi and this is why i don’t date gay men. most of you are so insecure and ruin the relationship. can’t help that im into both genders but at least women are generally confident enough to know they’ll fulfill my needs
@@DesertFrontiersmanjust wondering which statement you are referring to
yawn! as soon as the "homophobic subject"
I know right?
The softening of the mask of masculinity... that is exactly what I am attracted to in straight men ... not the swag because I have my own... its the cutting through the façade to find the real vulnerable man inside
In my own case, as a bi when i learn a guy is straight it's an automatic deterrent. Yet, i have many straight guy friends, and have found them loyal & honorable. There is something pure about the love they give, precisely because it is unencumbered by carnal desire
One can be masculine without it being a mask, just like they can be vulnerable without it being a façade. These sorts of assumptions are damaging.
Your femininity embraced by the other's masculinity sounds pretty much like internalized homophobia as well 😂
Or at least a desire to fit into heteronormativity.
I am very attracted to masculinity. I like guys who act like men, I love strong, confident masculine men. There are a lot of gay men who are very masculine, and that is a huge turn on for me.
Thanks for sharing your preference! It's great that you appreciate strong, confident men. Everyone has their unique attractions. 😊🌈
Well this man does not approve of this guy saying I'm wrong for not liking the feminine side of me. Give me a break. I like manly men, i like being a man, i don't like women because they are different and i choose not to deal with their insanity. Im not saying women don't have a roll they do. For me personally i choose not to engage in 90% of my life. The drama is limited that way. Women have their place and we should celebrate our differences but i should be allowed to like who ever i want to like. Hang out who ever i want. I choose men for the reasons i discussed in addition to the sexual component. Telling me I'm wrong for that is wrong.
ACT LIKE MEN?
they all have feminine speech patterns.
are you referring to the guys in the video? nah bro...only one of them has it slightly. and who cares anyways? don't be a hater
@@junsu21nah they all sound zesty lmfao. And the only ones hating are THEM! “Internalized phobia durrrrr” gimme a break. Are they just finding out that gay men like men and not “yasssss kweens” ???
I lived as an effeminate gay man for about a decade and I almost always found myself attracted to straight men-even at gay bars too. It was a very depressing/debilitating pattern of mine. I thought it was some kind of self-sabotage or maybe just because I was usually surrounded by them, because they constitute so much of the population. Within the past year I’ve come out as a transwoman and have discovered they’re apparently who I’ve been meant to be attracted to all along (as a fair number of them now reciprocate). Not at all saying that’s the case with everyone but it certainly makes me feel vindicated and puts a lot of my life into context.
Thank you for sharing your journey with such honesty and vulnerability. It's incredibly empowering to see you embracing your true self and finding clarity in your identity. Your story highlights the importance of self-discovery and acceptance. Wishing you continued happiness and fulfillment on your journey. 🌟
they are probably bi,if they like you.
you still can't attract straight men.
I feel bad for people who think that being gay is just one thing. Being feminine has nothing to do with being gay.
Exactly. There are straight men walking around that aren't super, hyper macho. There are straight who have been mistaken for gay. That has nothing to do with sexuality...
What a bunch of BS. Im not homophobic. I don't like women, i like men, i don't like femininity. Why is that wrong? He is saying it is. Its like the trans ppl having you blocked from dating sites because you refuse to date them saying your transphobic. No i like who i like and i should not be pressed into liking you. This guy is bs. Im a gay man who likes other manly men. Im allowed not to like women and not like who ever i want to dis like. Its my perogitive.
So true and yet so many gay men are quick to scream “toxic masculinity” and “internalized whatever” while chasing after straight men smh
Tell that to the kweens running this podcast lmfao. They seem to think so
Gentlemen? Respectfully, does any one of you have an academic degree at either the Masters or Ph. D. level? Thank you for your service to any one who's benefiting from your honest forum. Sincerely yours Gregg Oreo Long Beach CA Etats Unis
@crlns
0 seconds ago
50:53 That "YES!" 😂
Gotcha! We're glad this episode resonates with you.😍
“Don’t flatter ypurself straight men, gays don’t want you just cause your straight!” When the entire podcast is about gay men who are attracted to straight men just cause they’re straight, and, according to this talk, it’s basically RAMPANT that gay men, we’re all just waiting to pounce on straight men! I can’t relate to the “forbidden” sentiment, I just don’t get it. There’s nothing wrong with finding a man attractive, sexually attractive, it’s a normal feeling. Seeking out a man, just because he’s straight, I don’t know any gay men like that.
I think the gays in this comments are too narrow minded to understand the thing you were trying to say, as I said in other comment, I grew up (I was 10 I think, when I knew I liked men) around manly men in a society that nessitates me to be butch. So I ultimately only found manly men attractive. Which imo is wrong. I'm still working on being open to all kinds of men. It's easy to hide your prejudice behind "preference". Even straight men can be feminine.
Ultimately, I think finding straight guy is like the forbidden fruit because we might end up hurting or own feelings.
This is a very interesting conversation. And I might have liked some "straight" men when I was younger but I am FAR past that now. It's actually a turn off to me.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It's great to see how perspectives evolve over time. 🌟😍
I don't think straight crushs aren't necessarily about masculine guys. U can crush on a emotionally open str8t guy that seems "queer" bc he is just a nice human being and showing heathly emotional habits torwards other men in general.
I'm experiencing this currently. I have a coworker who is straight, and everyone thought he was gay at first, for the reasons you stated. I have, unfortunately for me, developed a crush. I actually found this video because I wanted to understand why I might be attracted to him and learn how to flip the switch if possile. I'm not someone who falls for people easily (despite wanting a relationship), so I feel like an idiot that I did for this guy who's not an option. We get along rather well and have a lot in common. I wish I could talk to him about how I feel, but to what end? At best I expect it would stop him from wanting to be friendly towards me, or talk to me. Also, don't want either of us feeling uncomfortable at work... I'm sorry for dumping this on your comment, lmao.
@@cocoapuffaddict I’m assuming he knows you’re gay and also assuming you’re positive he’s straight. I went through a similar situation and totally surprised myself that I had a crush on a guy that I had become friends with. He lives w/ his gf and the friendship grew deeper as we realized we had a lot in common. Very chill. I decided I’d risk the friendship and told him I had a crush on him. I told him I’d control myself lol and the whole thing surprised me too. Turns out he and his gf have an open relationship and both identify as bi. Tell the guy!
@@letsdance4078 You're correct that he knows I'm gay and I'm pretty sure he's straight. He proclaimed as much to some nosy coworkers when he was new at the workplace. He's had at least two girlfriends that I know of, but isn't in a relationship currently. He was (maybe still is) talking to another girl he's interested in. That was a hot minute ago and if anything came of it he didn't mention it. We don't hang out outside of work and I see him about once or twice a week. His life and worklife are separate things, and our worlds only overlap at work. He's in college, graduating soon, and planning to take an internship over the summer that could turn into a job. He's not settled. Not going to stay where I am for much longer. Even IF he has bisexual thoughts or tendencies, I don't think he's explored that or come to terms with it. Hard to say more unless I actually talk to him about it, but I don't feel like we're at a level that we could have that talk. You can bet I've overanalyzed his interactions with not only myself, but others, to see if there were any discrepancies. There aren't any. He's just a nice guy who's friendly towards everyone in equal measure.
I'm happy that your scenario panned out favorably and appreciate your encouragement, but there's a lot of reasons, beyond what I've mentioned already, that I haven't dared broach subject. I'd love to dream, but I genuinely don't think it'll work out how I want it to.
@@cocoapuffaddictif the guy is sweet tell him how u feel about him and assure him that u know he's not interested in men and just wanted to get it off your chest 😅 u will feel good
It boomeranged on me, and he is avoiding me 😢...
This is the thing I'm straight but I've had relationships with dudes and I've had a relationship a gay relationship with a straight man so maybe love is just love I don't want to label it
Thank you for sharing your experience! Love indeed transcends labels, and it's wonderful to hear your perspective. Our aim is to celebrate love in all its forms and promote understanding and acceptance. Your input enriches our community discussion. Thank you for being a part of it!🥰💞
Yeah, SOME straight guys can be objectively attractive, but in reality, as attractive as he may be, as soon as I know a guy is straight I can physically see an iron wall falling between us, I immediately lose interest. I once fooled around with a guy who identified as straight, but was really expecting and in the process of accepting his bisexuality. Idk where all these straight guys that want to experiment with gay men are hiding, but that just doesn’t happen to me. Good for you though! Thanks as always for sharing, big hugs
A man approaching another man is hard, regardless of their orientation. I think it ultimately comes down to building relationships and getting to know people. When people know and, hopefully, trust you, they are more likely to open up and reveal themselves more.
Same here. Doesn’t go past physical attraction at all. I don’t get that nor shaming gay masculine men when it’s clearly what these guys want chasing the straights.
The opening speaker is justifying his own attractions. Great why can’t be just be attracted to what or whoever they’re attracted to. I thought this might be interesting but bye,
Defensive much?😩☝🏿
Rofl get over yourself
my situation is more like the guy from skam Norway isac whereby I've always been gay and have seen flamboyant gay people and just never really liked that and so I always found straight people more attractive but then as time went by I realized there where gay people who weren't feminine and I just honestly see this as a preference and not internalized homophobia
Thanks for sharing this. Your journey and preferences are completely valid and unique to you. Keep honoring your truth and preferences without judgment, as they're an integral part of your identity.💪
As much fun as man on man sex is, you do have to keep your antenna on alert when meeting "straight" guys for the first few encounters.
I've honestly never been attracted to straight guys, other than admiration for a good-looking guy. It's hard enough finding the right gay guy! And gay guys run the gamut from masculinity to femininity.
Why not probe the fun part of down low sex, the straight man's attraction to gay men. I've had plenty of those experiences, and I was never the instigator. One guy picked me up with a baby carriage in the car. Once I asked about his kid. Oh. He's starting college in the fall.
Thanks for sharing your funny experience!😆Exploring the complexities of attraction and desire can shed light on various dynamics within relationships. But we look forward to tackle this kind of funny topics.🙃🌈
Why does this whole thing just seem so fake?
I thought the same thing!!
I find no fakeness whatever in this podcast. On the contrary, I find the three guys intriguing, with multiple viewpoints that reflect many moments I’ve been through as a gay man. I knew I was gay in third grade, so imagine trying to figure out at that young age who the other gay boys were in my school. Back then, I just knew I was aroused by “males” and, if I rely here on a stereotype of simplistic description, I knew already-at least, unconsciously and not processing it consciously-that I was a total top. I looked only at guys’ asses and I fell in love multiple times with hunky male teachers with classic bubble butts and a slight inclination to welcoming my attention to them. Slight, but not overt. I love what the three hosts of this podcast are doing. We gay men are brothers together. Let’s surround each other with our God-given strength.
@@johncampbell1152 what's so "intriguing" about them? Aside from reinforcing many damaging stereotypes, they offer the most generic responses to the most vapid of subjects.
We're not "brothers." We're men who share what is often a singular biological trait. It's very difficult to base "brotherhood" or "community" off this one trait.
I can assure you, no imaginary being gave me my strength. I found it for myself, as everyone does (or does not, in some cases).
Because it goes against what your believe. I believe the same, men around me growing up were very masculine and "manly" so i was subconsciously attracted to all "masculine" men. Even straight men can be feminine. It's a valid opinion they're saying but y'all are too thick headed to understand that
@@johncampbell1152this comment exactly captures what I was trying to say.
...Femininity is Attractive, Masculinity is Attractive. If you prefer one over the other or both equally its both Great. Being Bisexual and "Masc" or "passing" its so frustrating 😤 to see how INSANE all of humanity is and that crosses all Sexualities. I recognize the "privilege" and the pedal stole that Im often placed on due to societies rejection of diversity (foundationally) but as a bi masc male the discrimination from both Heterosexual and Homosexual is ridiculous especially from Homosexuals given we share a movement/struggle (LGBT) "which is one of the reasons that I am moving away from embracing the term refering to myself as simply Bi". People are people, we are all at our core the same as we are all humans, but have immense diversity amongst us and that diversity is all BEAUTIFUL.
I guess that very early experiences only happen when one is unaware of their sexuality - I was fascinated with the men's underwear pages in the mail order catalogue (oh, those 80s) by first grade, maybe earlier. I would have never dared to try anything close to straight friends back then...
Thank you for sharing your perspective! Exploring and understanding our sexuality can indeed begin at a young age, sometimes even before we fully comprehend it. It's a journey unique to each person, shaped by our experiences and environment.🤗😍
the second question is pretty dumb...
You're overthinking it. It's fundamental. Although of course in toto it's far more complicated than this, nevertheless it's true that. in simplest terms, straight guys are natural tops while gay guys are natural bottoms.
What's the email for the podcast?
I love this video. I’m Straight, but always been considered somewhat fem. Being in touch with my feelings and flamboyantly outgoing, I tend to get along with gay men better than straight as I’ve never gotten along with straight men. But then gay men always get extremely aggressive, trying to convince me that I’m gay, being a tall catch. It has been frustrating I just simply want to hang out. I’ve learned to embrace my solo life, as my Eccentric Outgoing Straight self who vibes differently than others. Though I really do enjoy gay men that are secure in themselves. And because I’ve always been accused of being gay, I am very empathetic to the abuse that gay men have had to endure in the past because I have survived that as well.
Being attracted to straight men doesn't need to be pathologized. We don't create a pathology model for why women are attracted to straight men so why create a pathology model for why gay men are attracted to straight men? For me, it's easier to just love who I love. If the guy I have a crush on loves me back, great. If not, bummer. I can move on. There are plenty of men in the world. I'm attracted to masculine men regardless of their sexual orientation and this is fine with me.
Your premise is faulty. Straight women are attracted to straight guys because the attraction has a basis of reciprocation. This is not so with gay men attracted to straight men.
The latter always leads to rejection and so it will need examination because it a fixation that gay men get stuck in.
This is a mental health podcast after all which promotes holistic living.
We tend to obsess on things that we can't have.
So true! The allure of the unattainable can be quite captivating. Ever found a way to navigate or shift that focus?
Well, if one seeks a long term, healthy and committed relationship go for guys who have well established identities as gay or bisexual men. Aiming for a completely straight guy often times is a dead-end. Internal homophobia and the urge to conform to society's expectations afflicts us all to a certain degree. I just found out last year that my first ex got married with a woman. I don't want to judge him. Sexual orientation is a continuum. If he thinks that he can be happy and be faithful to his wife, I wish him the best of luck.
@@marcusmagnificus1984 You make a valid point. Seeking a relationship with someone who's comfortable in their identity can be more promising. It's true, sexual orientation is diverse, and wishing your ex the best reflects your understanding and kindness. 🌈💙
True, However know man is unhackable, You have to 1st be someone they find attractive, And, he has to be assured you can keep your trap shut. Me personally have been approached by men I God honestly thought were only straight. And, didn't know what to do with them when the opportunity was in front of me
I want nothing to do with straight men; it is far too much like work trying to figure out a man's orientation before the fact.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. It's important to prioritize your comfort and boundaries in relationships. Our content aims to foster understanding and respect within all communities. We appreciate your engagement.💕
Lost interest as soon as I heard the words 'internalised homophobia' and 'patriarchy'.
Why? I'm genuinely curious
@@okorochukwunonso2563 Because they are garbage terms with no place in reality, and are completely meaningless in terms of sexual attraction between one man and another. Here's why gay men get crushes on straight men. The vast majority of adult males are hetero. Gay men spend at least part of their time in the company of hetero males -- and in many cases the majority of their time. So it is INEVITABLE that gay men develop attractions towards hetero males that they meet and know in their daily lives.
lol true. snowflakes throw labels at others its getting annoyin@@WynterFyre
@@okorochukwunonso2563 Why? Because they are garbage terms that don't refer to anything real.
@@WynterFyre Good, now tell us what it is? Get to work and educate us.
I enjoy kicking it with my “hetero” brothers and they’ll tell you in a heartbeat that they LOVE me because I’ve always been genuinely me. Having been called a “butch/queen” cuz I have feminine energy but I’m a whole ass dude seems to attract certain men. I’ve also never been “attracted” to straight men to date nor do I see them as a conquest. However, early on I was the only one like me growing up with a bunch of guys so they’ve always been been in my life, like my brothers and that’s how I’ve always seen them. Lastly, I also agree with the sentiment that I always felt safe with them.
Thank you for the episode and your work.
I think that on average straight men are more masculine and that gay men are more feminine, this on top of there just being more straight men in the world than gay makes it very likely that a gay man will crush on a straight man in their life.
An interesting perspective is that lesbian friends have the opposite experience they are on average more masculine and develop crushes on straight women who are on average more feminine.
I know this is generalising but this is real for a lot of people. I went to university to study why people are gay and this link with stereotypical gender and sexual orientation is really fascinating, I know sometimes stereotypes are seen as a bad thing but being at peace with being stereotypical can be very freeing.
Thank you for your thoughtful insights! It's true, the mix of masculinity, femininity, and sexual orientation varies for many. Your perspective on stereotypes is interesting.
@@GayMenGoingDeeper Thank you! ☺
Biology, not society, dictates whether we are gender-typical or atypical, the extent to which we identify as the sex we were born as, and the partners we are sexually attracted to. When sperm fertilizes an egg at conception, the baby will be either female or male. This biology will influence hormonal exposure in the womb, as well as the child’s resulting gender identity. At about seven weeks, if the embryo is male, the testes will begin to secrete testosterone, masculinizing the brain. If the embryo is female, this process does not occur. This exposure to testosteron has a powerful effect on the ways in which male and female brains grow before the brain has finished developing in the utero. Testosterone exposure alters the programming of neural stem cells responsible for brain growth, leading to differences between the sexes. Gay men have had a lower exposer and typically have more feminem traits than your average man and lesbian women have had a higher exposure and have typically more masculine traits and more male typical than the average woman..neuroscientific studies have shown that the brains of lesbians are partially masculinized and gay mens partially feminized. People who are gender atypical are more likely to be homosexual, although heterosexual people can also be atypical. The organizational effects of hormones on the fetal brain prior to birth have permanent effects.
Researchers across a a variety of animal models (including rats, mice, and ferrets, since it’s not ethical for us to use human fetuses as test subjects), changing the amount of testosterone that an animal is exposed to changes whether they are sexually interested in same-sex or opposite-sex mates. In animals, homosexuality in females is often attributed to an overabundance of male hormones - androgens - in the womb, while male homosexuality results from a lack of these.
Gendered interests are predicted by testosterone exposure in utero. Higher levels are associated with male-typical interests and behaviours, regardless of whether the baby is male or female. These include a preference for mechanically interesting objects and systemizing occupations in adulthood. Lower levels are associated with a preference for people orientated activities and occupations. stemming from evolutionary roots. Women. who are tasked with the role of bearing children, evolved to be more sociable, empathic, and people focused, while men, as hunter-gatherers, were rewarded for strong visuopatial skills and ability to build and use tools. That's why science, technology, engerneering and mathematics fields tend to be dominated by men. Greater exposure to prenatal testosterone is also associated with attraction to women.
Studies involving girls with congenital adrenal hyperplasia are exposed to higher than usual levels of testosterone in the womb. Roughly 3 percent of girls with CAH will grow up to identify as male,10 and of those who don’t, a large proportion will identify as lesbian. The opposite is also true; children whose mothers took anti-androgenic medication (which lowers their testosterone levels) during pregnancy tend to prefer female-typical toys. Rough-and-tumble play, which is behavior typically seen in little boys, is less common in gay men and more common in lesbian women, due to lesser and greater masculinization of the brain, respectively.
Mothers who had gay sons-particularly those with gay sons with older brothers-had higher levels of antibodies against NLGN4Y (a protein involved in brain development in males) than did mothers who had heterosexual sons or no male offspring. This led to differences in the way the baby’s brain is masculinized in the womb.
Childhood gender nonconformity refers to sex-atypical behaviours, interests, hobbies, activity levels, and play partner preferences before the age of 12... 75% of boys demonstrating CGN will grow up to be gay or bisexual due to the prenatal environment and the extent to which hormones masculinized the developing brain..Studies have also demonstrated that homosexuals of both sexes show strong cross-sex shifts in brain symmetry an connectivity differences. Overall, specific brain regions in homosexual males tended to be similar to heterosexual women (more female‐typical), while these same brain regions homosexual women tended to be similar to heterosexual men (more male‐typical). Both retrospective and prospective studies report a strong association between CGN and nonheterosexuality in adulthood. These studies indicate that gay men are, on average, more feminine in behaviour and interests during childhood compared to heterosexual men, while lesbian women are more masculine, on average, in these respects compared to heterosexual women.
People of different sexual orientations also differ in certain types of cognitive ability. Heterosexual men perform better, on average, than gay men on tests such as mental rotation, line orientation, and spatial navigation. In general, the performance of gay men is similar to that of heterosexual women. One meta-analysis reported that gay men performed like heterosexual women on both male-favouring (e.g., spatial cognition) and female-favouring (e.g., verbal fluency) cognitive tests, while lesbian women tended to perform like heterosexual men on male-favouring tests. The cross-sex shift shows that gay men and women will show patterns of cognitive function similar to their opposite-sex heterosexual counterparts. A large body of evidence about psychological, behavioural, and cognitive traits.MRI scans showed that straight men had asymmetric brains, with the right hemisphere slightly larger - and the gay women also had this asymmetry. Gay men, meanwhile, had symmetrical brains like those of straight women. A straight men having more asymmetrical brains than gay men fits with previous research. When listening to sounds, straight men tend to have a bias for their right ear, which both gay men and straight women lack. They also tend to outperform gay men and straight women in tests of spatial awareness, where success depends on a part of the brain - the parietal cortex - which is usually larger in men than in women.
They used PET scans to measure blood flow to the amygdala, a part of the brain involved in processing emotions and governs fear and aggression. The images revealed how the amygdala connected to other parts of the brain, giving clues to how this might influence behaviour. From previous studies, we know that these connections usually link to different areas in the brains of men and women, and sprout from different hemispheres -the right in men, and the left in women. That was the pattern that they saw the straight volunteers from their study, but the homosexuals showed the reverse pattern. More recent brain imaging studies reported sexual orientation‐related differences in cortical regions devoted to vision, some asymmetries between the two hemispheres and differences in the thickness of the cortex at the front of the brain. Overall, these specific brain regions in homosexual males tended to be similar to heterosexual women (more female‐typical), while these same brain regions homosexual women tended to be similar to heterosexual men (more male‐typical). the amygdalas of gay men had more in common with those of straight women - the two halves were well-connected, they had more neurons projecting from the left half (as opposed to the right in straight men) and these neurons connected to the same parts of the brain that those of straight women do. In straight women and gay men, the connections were mainly into regions of the brain that manifest fear as intense anxiety. The regions involved in phobia, anxiety and depression overlaped with the pattern they saw from the amygdala.This fits with data showing that women are three times as likely as men to suffer from mood disorders or depression and gay men have higher rates of depression too.
In straight men and lesbians, the amygdala fed its signals mainly into the sensorimotor cortex and the striatum, regions of the brain that trigger the “fight or flight” response. It’s a more action-related response than in women. In straight men and lesbians, the amygdala (which influences our emotional reactions to stress) connects to the sensorimotor cortex and the striatum, parts of the brain involved in the “fight or flight” response. But in straight women and gay men, the amygdala’s connections feed into the anterior cingulate cortex and the subcallosum. These areas influence our moods and have been implicated in mood-related disorders such as anxiety and depression.
Neuroimaging studies comparing heterosexual and gay men and women have reported various differences in structure and function. For example, the volumetric patterns of brain activity in both lesbian women and gay men, or grey matter volumes in the perirhinal cortex in lesbian women. Some of these effects seem to be unique to sexual orientation, such as cortical thickness in the orbitofrontal and visual areas as well as the anatomy of the corpus callosum in gay men. Several small-scale neuroimaging studies have also suggested cross-sex shifts in homosexual men and women in brain responses to putative sex-specific pheromonal compounds. Previous post-mortem studies also pointed to small sexual-orientation-related differences in hypothalamic regions and the anterior commissure. A small region of the anterior hypothalamus was smaller in homosexual men than in heterosexual men, and no different from heterosexual women. the hypothalamus was more than twice as large in straight men as in gay men; in gay men, it was closer in size to that of straight women. The hypothalamus is responsible for the four F’s: feeding, fighting, fleeing, and fornicating. these finding suggested that gay men’s brains were partially feminized, and also, that the foundation of sexual orientation is established by biology.
The moderator took an awful long time to get to the panel. I believe that gay men are sexually attracted to masculine energy but emotionally and spiritually may identify with feminine energy.
I sometimes wonder if we are moving into a post sexual orientation world where being a gay man has more to do with the culture than the actual attraction factor. And I definitely agree that part of the magnetism that straight men have to us is that they can drop the performance (as it was so eloquently put in this podcast) of what other men and women, society in general expects of them to be a man. Which, in my friendships with these sorts of guys it seems it must be an incredible burden. Just as it is a terrible burden for us gay men to move naked through the world.
Great thoughts! It's interesting to consider a post-sexual orientation world, where culture plays a significant role. The idea of dropping societal expectations and being authentic resonates. It's true, navigating the world with our true selves can be challenging for everyone.
Thanks for the response Guys. Self Discovery and how that elevates the entirety of individual and collective Consciousness, that is The Big Adventure Don't you find? Hope you guys are having an Awesome year. I have a lot of your podcasts I'm looking forward to catching up on. Y'all are very prolific these days :P @@GayMenGoingDeeper
Most of my friends are straight or semi secretly bisexual. In my expierence straight guys sometimes seem to think they can't be friends or be close with gay guys even if they want to.
True, some straight guys feel unsure about being close with gay friends. Have you found ways to make connections despite that?
@@GayMenGoingDeeper yes, by just being likeable to them
What an amazing episode... I listened on my walk and I laughed so many times. I can empathize with the gym crush at the moment, love it when he spots me hehehe really enjoy the authentic conversation!!!
So glad you enjoyed the episode! 😄 Laughter is the best, right?
@@GayMenGoingDeeper I needed a laugh... Laughter is the best medicine
Fascinating episode but holy **** ads added about 30 minutes to the runtime...
Thanks for tuning in! Apologies for the ads adding extra time; we appreciate your patience.
Great episode! Finally someone is willing to discuss this without degrading or demonizing the attraction for, to and from self-identfied straight men. I resonated with so much of whay you guys shared. Especially you, Matt. Thank you guys for having the courage and bravery to start the conversation!!!
Thanks a bunch! Glad you liked the episode. It means a lot that you felt a connection to the conversation. If you have any topics you'd like us to cover, feel free to let us know. Thanks for tuning in! 😊🎙
i think this topic was so facinated that it deserves a part 2. maybe delve into sub topics like is it wise or healthy to put yourself into situations where you are overly temped to run into temptation. Joining the military or a fraternity or any situation where there are lonely horny men sleeping all around you. as a demisexual i would be fine for the first 3 months and then be falling in love left and right and very possibly an emotional mess unable to concentrate on learning or my job or anything i was supposed to.. @@GayMenGoingDeeper
@@caveredecorator5310 Great suggestion! Thanks for the input, and we'll definitely consider it for future episodes! 🎙🌈
The truth is that early on in my sexuality journey I realised I wasn’t attracted to gay men, so most of my boyfriends have been straight and it works - they don’t feel gay either they are just in love with one guy and I’m not a stereotypical gay guy I’m just me.
ummm why? that doesn"t make sense. You weren't attracted to gay men who easily have the hots for you?
I do very much appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. It actually makes me more receptive to the mental health messages and advice you all give.
Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm glad that honesty and vulnerability resonate with you.
When I was 15 I was in love with a 21 y/I boy. He was a BSA counselor to younger boys in my dad Scout troop. I knew I was gay at 15 I straight out told him I was in love with him followed with a remark of pls don't tell my old man which he didn't.
Wow, that sounds like a unique experience from your teenage years. It takes courage to share feelings like that. How did it all unfold for you afterward?
My experience: Totally agree with you guys on experiencing straight guys feeling more comfortable speaking about their feelings with me rather than their straight guy friends or women. I find this fascinating. So clear that the norms imposed upon straight men can sometimes only 'be broken' by them if they are with a gay guy who has become their friend. Over time, I've been struck by the fact that I also feel more comfortable speaking with straight guys about certain issues particularly issues that I have regarding interactions with other gay men. As for attraction to straight guys being a sign of internalized homophobia, sure, I get the point. However, using the 1 in 10 rule: It's near impossible to cancel out the majority of men that I find attractive because (1) They are straight and (2) Fretting over what 'this says about me.'
Totally get where you're coming from! The dynamics of sharing feelings and connecting with straight friends can be unique. And attraction is a complex thing - it's about connection more than labels. Thanks for sharing your experience!
Is this a Canadian show? The accents are interesting. 🙂
Love this talk. Thank you for sharing. My first gay bar experience was Boyz Town in Calgary as well. Great memories. ❤
"Oh, Honey!" I chortled. 😆
I’m older now, so the ‘action’ isn’t what it used to be. That being said, this was a walk down memory lane for me. I’ve been attracted to both gay and straight men because its men I want for sex. For a time, I was getting straight or Bi men all the time! While it works out as a fantasy, in reality it can be a flop after the sex act because some straight men have remorse almost immediately afterwards and freak themselves out over their sexual experience with another guy. I had to talk a guy down once because he literally couldn’t believe what he had just done, and I guess he was raised in a strict/religious household. He put his hands over his face in shame and recoiled after he got off. I assured him I would never tell anyone and that what we did and that many people explore their sexuality and that its normal. I felt bad for him. Men being men, they are up for it but after they orgasm they suddenly forgot what led them to have sex with another man in the first place. Religious and social dogma have devastating effects on some people. I could never live like that, but look at all the anti gay politicians and how many of them get caught with men, male lovers or scandals that were never supposed to see the light of day. There are quite a few of them!
yeah, they call that post-nut clarity. It's so sad for a str8 guy to feel all that shame after trying something with another dude
When I was 18 (this was Fall '82, and attitudes were much more conservative then), I told my handsome classmate that I had feelings for him. He was in my Biology class, and the following Mon., he moved to the opposite side of the classroom. I fell for many straight guys in my 20's and 30s, up until about 3 years ago, when I fell for someone at the gym. Then, realized that I was still attracted to unavailable men, and made a vow to never let that happen again.
Fast-forward to 2014, I fell for my hot, 29-year old co-worker......he was so beautiful, and he knew that I was gay. But, a very sweet guy, and we really hit it off. About 6 mos. after that, he became very cold, and I can only conclude that some blabbermouth told him about me. So, very hard for me to trust any straight guys.....You'd think that someone who was only in his late 20s would've been more liberal, but it was like he was afraid of me. That really hurt, and I've not forgotten it. SO, although there may be some kind of a "thrill" in chasing one of them, you're really only hurting yourself in the long run! 💔❤🩹💪
I appreciate you sharing your experiences. It sounds like you've been through some challenging moments, and I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you faced. Building trust can be tough, especially when past experiences have been hurtful. Taking care of yourself and setting boundaries is important. If you ever feel like sharing more or need support, we're here for you. 💙
i appreciate it, thank you. @@GayMenGoingDeeper
I can relate to a lot of your experience. Thank You for Sharing 😊
I've subscribed so quickly to a channel. Loving everything you said in the introduction and what the work you all do
Thanks! We are all helping others in some way and love to bring our insights from our personal lives and from our practices into the show. Check out out website for more info on the community and our courses: www.gaymensbrotherhood.com/
When we were both 22, I loved a 'straight' man who incidentally loved me also. We were office colleagues. He married (broke my heart), had 3 children......I lived my gay life, he lived his life.
Fast forward to 2024......we are both 78 but our platonic relationship continued.....even today he messaged me signing off with "your long time best friend."
In the 60s, I'm sure it was a different story back then in terms of gay/straight relationships. Glad you are still friends.
Why is my thouthful and humorous comment not visible even under the "Newest" tab yet comments from one day ago or more are? Is there a moderation process they have to go through before being made visible?
I'd love to hear more. Limerence videos began being suggested from my TH-cam views. Can you include The Velvet Rage author Alan Downs research in any part 2 video? You touched on the childhood wounding for gay kids; how nice it is for gay guys to help straight guys heal their childhood wounding (I mean with their emotional vulnerability not necessarily their sexual needs/wants).
Enjoyed listening to your perceptive on this topic as well as reading others’ responses to the podcast. I’m always curious about the “why” behind people’s comments. As a bi man living in a 38 year long mixed orientation marriage this podcast came up in my feed at a perfect time. Keep up the great thought provoking work.
this sounds very binary to me.
Thanks for sharing your perspective! We appreciate your feedback.❤
Thanks men! Interesting dialogue and topics. There were some unique points of view. I myself have never had any sexual experiences with straight men. Seems counterproductive yet interesting when you all share your experiences.
One suggestion - would you all please do Toastmasters for one year to improve your speaking style/form. The amount of "LIKES" and You Knows was nauseating. It made it difficult to hear the content. I'm sure that's not your intent.
I think what Matt said about embracing masculinity and rejecting femininity was real for me in my 20s to mid 30s. In my 40s I realized that I am attracted to masculine men but also effeminate men too. It’s a different dynamic with effeminate men but it’s very pleasurable.
Thanks for sharing your journey! It's awesome that you've embraced a broader spectrum of attraction over time. Exploring different dynamics can be enriching. If you ever want to dive deeper into these topics or share more, feel free to do so. We appreciate your openness! 🌈💙
how different is the dynamic either way?
Thanks Brothers. I wish that this podcast existed when I was 15 years old...I'm not sure that any man who becomes physically intimate with another man is actually "straight." - I think I relate more to the Kinsey Scale that puts us all on a spectrum between 1 and 6 as far as how hetero or homosexual we are. My mom said a few years back when I was in an umpteenth Limerant situation with a "straight" / closeted guy. "Kody love knows no gender" - for a woman who dropped out of high school at age 16 when I was conceived I found that especially Profound. I also think "Love finds a way" - what is perhaps most frustrating about falling in Love with these sorts of men is that the hard line is drawn at True Intimacy...if you venture there you reach an iron curtain. Personally, I find being a vehicle for someone's experimentation to be degrading.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! It's cool that you connect with the idea of a spectrum in sexuality. Your mom's words are pretty deep. Setting boundaries is crucial, and we're here to chat about anything you want. Thanks for being part of the conversation! 😊💙
Thanks. :) Mamas are good ones. She was fortunate to have 2 gay male friends growing up in rural america. I think that paved the way for me in a way in that they enlarged her understanding / worldview@@GayMenGoingDeeper
I have no gay friends my best buddy is straight I’ve been attracted to one straight man a colleague. He and ended up a good relationship one thing made me uncomfortable he told him wife and I met her one day and it was uncomfortable .
Just came across your channel. I am doing therapy at the moment it’s a never ending process.
I accept the fact I am a masculine man and attractive to masculine gay men i have accepted this it’s just who I am .
Thanks for sharing your journey! Accepting and embracing who you are is a powerful step. Therapy is a great tool for self-discovery and growth. Wishing you continued progress on your path! 🌈💙
These talks are so valuable and needed, thank you guys .
Fascinating, coming from being a gay man to a trans woman. I only see or date straight men now. Initially it was very hot because I was able to go to bed with any straight guy I met, but after a while I actually miss the connection with gay lovers, being in a binary role regarding being a straight woman now, I do feel a mars and Venus thing ..which I didn't have when I was gay.
TY👍reeeally interesting. Saddens me how vandalized my sexuality was. I suppose i'm bi, i had great sexual romantic experiences w/women. I also have a reservoir of anger/hatred of women. If i'm gonna be sexual w/a guy, i want one i KNOW likes guys. I have enough to worry about. Straight=automatic deterrent
Love this, so interesting and very true in every story. I think all three prospective I can see my self in that story. I love this. 😘
I tend to be attracted to hairy men visually before I even consider their hetero/ homo,etc. Hairy is generally a " masculine " trait.??? Noticed first thing all 3 of you are bearded and visually all appealing.
Well thank you, we'll happily accept your compliment 🥰
We’re all born different .. long as their kind.
Do you think you guys could possibly talk about being in business for yourself as a gay person? And how for some of us, it's hard to see ourselves as successful business owners. I'm here working on business stuff and I feel like I'm sitting in my own filth (not sure if you can relate to this feeling), because I'm not working in an office, I'm working at home, and theres this sense of "i'm wasting my time," when the more productive thought should be, "I'm working towards my goals." I dont know if I'm making sense, but I would love to hear you talk about this-- the negative thoughts that enter your head as you are working on your own business without the safety of being in a corporate 9-5.
We have added this to our list of topics to discuss, thanks for the suggestion
This episode has been very healing, encouraging and inspiring to me. As an opera guy I can invite you to get into Händel‘s Alcina and Wagner‘s Parsifal (core wound). These operas came to my mind when I listened to your conversation because they deal with issues which many of us appear to be wrestling with. I’m sending my brotherly love to you all🌈😀
Having a crush on a straight dude got to be the most devastating thing that happened emotionnally in my life. There was this guy that i met back in september, i directly had a crush on him, but i quickly figured out he wasn't gay.. even tho everyone was doubting it. I told him quickly about my feelings, so that it wouldn't ruin our frienship. Sadly, we happened to get really close (no flirt involved, only pure but fusionnal friendship) and by december-january, he got dump by his girlfriend and i was the one listening to all his sadness, every night and day. We called each other, watched movies on discord, shared music playlists. By the end of the christmas break, i spent time with him, and kept talking and cheering each other up every day, i felt in love, even tho there wasn't any "close and intimate interactions". We were saying "i love you" a lot tho. Eventually, distance happened because he had less time for me, and i suffered. He got to know my pain and we decided to cut each other by the end of january. Now we suffer both from this, because i lost the dude that i thought was the love of my life and he lost his bestfriend. We keep seeing each other at school, and we try to be in good terms but it doesn't work, so we gotta live like we're nothing to each other, and i gotta tell you, this is the hardest situation i had in entire life. I don't even know if i'll get over it by seeing him everyday.. i miss him, and god know how much i love him
I know exactly what he means by it's an honor to be able to have this space where they feel safe to explore this side of them, so I respect their privacy and discretion, and i take it for what it is and I don't get emotionally involved.
These really hot, tall black guys keep coming up to me randomly on the train and telling me I have beautiful eyes. Not sure what's up with that. To one guy I replied "I'm gay" in a very matter of fact way which I thought was funny. Just wonder if they realize I would pretty much be game for anything!!!
Sounds like you're getting some interesting compliments! 😄 If you're open to it, maybe they're just trying to start a conversation. If you ever feel like exploring the mystery further, who knows what interesting connections might unfold! 💬😉
Yay! I’ve been waiting for this episode
So glad it's here! Hope it meets your expectations. Enjoy listening! We hope also for your support in giving us a 5-star rating on the show and on whatever platform you’re listening to us on. PS: If it’s on Apple, here’s the link: podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/gay-men-going-deeper/id1535102476 Thank you so much!❤
I can share from personal experience that I was thinking a lot about a friend who is straight after our first meeting in person in years because I put him on pedestal. He represents the qualities which I have not mastered yet, the male role model I haven't while growing up and the qualities of the partner I would like him to have.
Thanks for sharing your personal experience! It's common to look up to someone, especially when they embody qualities we admire. Recognizing those qualities as areas for personal growth is a powerful insight. 🌟
I love your podcast
Thank you for the message! It warms our hearts to hear from our listeners and it means a lot that you’re enjoying our podcast. We’d love to grow the podcast so we can reach more guys like you who would benefit from this. It would be super helpful if you gave the show a 5-star rating and review on whatever platform you’re listening to us on. PS: If it’s on Apple, here’s the link: podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/gay-men-going-deeper/id1535102476
As a bi guy I have nothing to add to the convo but I have also been intimately close with my hetero male friends
Thanks for sharing your perspective! Intimacy in friendships is diverse, and it's valuable to acknowledge and appreciate those connections. 👍
Gurl they want you to buy them a cell phone.
@@user-yv9fq5ym9w I don’t get it lol
3:47 Bingo... gay man here and self evaluation matches up with what you are saying. I don't hate femininity. I do not like it. Consiquently id hate to be str8 because i do not like women, they are different. The way women act in general is a turn off to me. I don't operate that way so in that i love being gay. But the essence is true to what you said. Is that wrong? No...
4:55 The answer is yes. I enjoy being a man who likes other men. Im not a man who likes trans boys looking like women. If that's you then great. Its not me. I work out, i do manly things, i like manly men. I think its cool if other ppl think I'm str8 i don't need to call out being gay. I don't need gayness to be a part of me or my identity. I loath it. The flag the pride, its like give me a break. You like you? you do you. Its not for me.
I am a man who happens to be gay. Thats it.
I am not generally attracted to straight guys (besides simply being attracted to guys in general).
But I did become VERY 'attracted' to ONE straight guy...it screwed up my life something fierce and destroyed, not only that friendship, but other longtime friendships as well. I never pursued anything physical (not my style), but I did devolve into an emotional basket case, lost my ability to trust entirely, and never really got back to normal in the decades that have followed.
I would have been far better off had it been purely sexual. But I'm not sure it ever WAS sexual at all. I only ever wanted him to feel what I was feeling.
Most of the men who have come on to me have actually been ‘heterosexual’ men, who have children and are in monogamous relationships with women, ironically. These men are ‘straight acting,’ portraying a certain lifestyle and are very meticulous about their image and how others perceive them publicly. They love attention too. But, the right kind of attention. 😆
people in the comment proving the point of internalized homophobia lmaooo
Yeah that isn’t a thing, Mary.
@@MiguelitoD770 you calling me mary proves the point even more ❤️ go to therapy, hating on other gay guys isn’t going to make you straight
I’ve been with a few straight men and none of them knew how to clean themselves enough for me to ever want to do it again.
This is a LONG one. Not sure if this guy I am seeing at work is bi, maybe gay or friendly, but he is the most humble and cautious person in our agency. He is masculine though, and he keeps to himself quite often, not very social, very dedicated to his work and does have some religious treats, and we have been developing some attraction when often glance. Overtime, our glances prolonged with smiles and has intensified each time we see each other. One night, I was walking back to the office after my workout when I saw him standing next to his car, I went next to him and said "What's up" then started talking about my fitness goals in preparation for an event that was coming up. He appeared a bit unexpectedly puzzled of my argument and I ran out of things to say, and told him that I hope to see him tomorrow. I walked away and he hopped in his car. About a minute later, I turned around and asked the guard to not let him leave. I ran back to my office to look for where I wrote down my phone number for him to have it, and I ran back to his car and gave it to him. And I am still waiting for his call. Coincidentally, I saw him the next day, and he only acknowledged my presence by just saying "Hi".
Some days after, I haven't seen him a lot. And there was this one time where our colleagues had a get-together and he was there when he almost stood right next to me. In trying not to cause an inconvenience to others, I mentioned to him that he was standing in the way of other viewers and suggested that there were seats amongst the audience he could take, and as I got closer to him, he dressed back in order for me not to touch him. I felt very direct after doing all that. An hour or so later, he was still at the get-together. And after the event, I was about to walk right pass him and he took out his phone in an attempt to avoid not seeing me on my way out. And I think things started to go down hill from there. What should I do?
Move on bro....
He's not interested.
@@jaymywills. Pretty much. You’re right. To the original commenter - like he said, “move on, bro.” And stop causing him and yourself any more discomfort.
I have str8 friends. And ive befriended them cause i had ideas. LOL My best friend aside from my husband is my str8 friend. We say we love each other because its developed into a strong bond. I no longer see him that way which is fine cause that was never going to happen and instead got a life long friend. Which is more than a great piece of ass.
The girls love him tho. Because he is a fantastic man. If i were a str8 women id be banging down his door. Girls know, he knows but he says most girls are insane so its hard for him. Its crazy what great guys have to go through.
George Clooney! ❤❤
Many women and men are attracted to him.
Love straight guys. Love them. Infact I prefer them over gay guys. But it doesn’t mean I am after them all the time. Like some of them think I am.
I have standards 😂. They have to meet with my standards 😂…& so do gay men. LoL
That’s my take on that.
Awesome - resonate with ALL of it.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with straight men. I didn't have any sexual experiences with straight guys growing up as a gay men. This because of fear and shame. I think all men have fantasies and some make them come true. I wonder if having sex with a straight guy is a kind of validation for a gay man.
Thanks for your comment! It's totally normal to have different experiences. Fear and shame can be tough. Exploring fantasies is personal, and validation can mean different things for everyone. Feel free to share more or ask anything. We're here for the conversation! 😊🌈
The first guy speaking is not close to great relationships with straight men of which I have many and have had pleasure with a few. Men and women think differently, I’m not sure why some gay men think like a woman when relating with men
“gay men going deeper.”😅
Is the LBTGQQ tent wide enough to have space for homosexuals whoare solely interested in servicing straight men?
I've hooked up w so many men who identify as straight who are married or have girlfriends, but it's only physical and unemotional, which works for both of us
Most males are bi they are just too scared to admit it
The second speaker understands relationships with straight and gay men.
I tend to find them attractive because of the masculinity of most of them, but I wouldn't want to be like this.
I don''t like to feel that I'm bothering anyone so I don't try to date them, as in theory they are straight.
That's why I'm usually alone since it's hard to find masculine gay people.
It's completely understandable to appreciate masculinity, and it's important to respect boundaries. Finding like-minded people can be a journey, but don't lose hope. Stay true to yourself, and you might connect with someone who shares your values. 🌈💙
Your cute Matt