Churches and Emotionally Abusive Christian Marriages | The Life-Saving Divorce

Evangelical churches can be a safe place for Christians who divorced due to abuse-but only if church leaders have the right mindset. Right now an astounding number of divorced Evangelicals have found the church to be unsafe. The problem is so serious, it shows up in huge nationwide surveys, and it's worse than researchers expected. A recent article in Christianity Today showed that a shocking number of divorced Christians don't attend church as much as demographers would expect, even though they still identify as Evangelicals. Although some who dropped out may be the "bad" spouse, I believe that many are the spouses who were victims of emotional abuse, which is not accepted as a biblical reason for divorce in many Evangelical churches. When the church condemns divorce in these cases, the pastor inadvertently sides with and enables the abusive spouse. The pastor's inaction empowers the abuser and crushes the victim, making the church a dangerous place.
This 18-minute video is for pastors and church leaders and others who want to stem the tide and make their church a safer place for abuse victims. Here's the written version: lifesavingdivor...
LINKS mentioned in the video:
Analysis of the Christianity Today article "Despite the Stigma of Divorce...": www.lifesavingd...
LINKS to Bible verses about divorce for emotional and physical abuse: www.lifesavingdivorce.com/abuse-in-bible
LINKS FOR TRAINING CHURCH STAFF AND VOLUNTEERS about emotional abuse
www.lifesavingd...
LINKS TO RESEARCHERS ' QUOTES ABOUT KIDS AND DIVORCE. These are the quotes that you'll never find on Evangelical websites. (At least I've never found them):
-Dr. Judith Wallerstein, author, Unexpected Legacy of Divorce found that divorce was best for children in abusive situations -www.LifeSavingDivorce.com/Wallerstein
-Dr. Linda Waite, who is often quoted to suggest that all marriages can become happy if you give them enough time, actually found in her study that 1 in 3 marriages did not become happy, and 8 in 10 people were happier when they divorced and remarried. - www.LifeSavingDivorce.com/Waite
-Dr. Sara McLanahan, Dr. Andrew Cherlin, Dr. Judith Wallerstein, Dr. Paul Amato, who are quoted in Focus on the Family's "divorce destroys kids" articles, have all written that abuse is terrible for children and divorce is likely the better option in a toxic situation - www.LifeSavingDivorce.com/fotf
LINKS TO MALACHI 2:16 and church history. Malachi was written 2,400 years ago. For the first 2,100 years it was interpreted as an anti-abuse and anti-treachery divorce, not an anti-divorce verse. Only for 385 years was it interpreted as an anti-divorce verse. No major Bible translation published since 1996 interprets Malachi 2:16 as "God hates divorce" or "I hate divorce"-not the NIV (2011 update), the ESV, or the CSB.
www.lifesavingdivorce.com/malachitimeline
www.lifesavingdivorce.com/malachi
LINK to Life-Saving Divorce book - amzn.to/3aH5Dfp
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ABOUT
Gretchen Baskerville is a Christian divorce recovery leader and researcher. For more than 20 years, she has worked with Christian women and men going through difficult, life-saving divorces, listening with compassion to those who have suffered from domestic violence, betrayal, infidelity, and emotional abuse. She helps heartbroken people find strength and courage and healing.
Her book, "The Life-Saving Divorce" is about the one-half of U.S. divorces that are for very serious reasons. She will give you optimism about your children's future (nearly 8 in 10 children turn out fine after divorce, according to top researchers); and will help you understand emotional abuse, "gaslighting," the abuse cycle, and tips for surviving high-conflict divorces.
FOR A DISCUSSION ON THE TOPIC OF FINDING OR BECOMING A SAFE CHURCH, read CHAPTER 8 in The Life-Saving Divorce book.
What's a Life-Saving Divorce? A Life-Saving Divorce is a divorce for the serious reasons: a pattern of chronic emotional abuse, infidelity, domestic violence, sexual immorality, felony behavior, neglect, substance abuse, etc.
How to Get the Book, "The Life-Saving Divorce: Hope for People Leaving Destructive Relationships"
Paperback Book/Kindle via Amazon: amzn.to/3CCBsnr As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Follow Gretchen Baskerville:
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