My late fiance was the delicate flower, and I was the bulldozer. I always admired his gentleness and compassion, and adored his childlike wonder in the world. I have tried to emulate that in my life since his passing.
sorry for your loss but also how wonderful how you can integrate all the good that you could take from it and still somewhat basically carry a part of him as you and honoring him and what he has given you, while still being yourself, very respectable, I wish you all the best!
Can we all just acknowledge how awesome it is when people can embrace being a delicate flower? It seems to me that when people do not feel free to be sensitive it can really cause problems. When people can't bring themselves to feel hurt, they can lash out and hurt others. As a society there is a certain judgement of being too sensitive, for women, as well as men. Even in this video, while you can tell that Jono is totally ok with who he is, both of them are lightly poking fun at it.
When they talk about Jono they say condescending things like he's a "delicate flower" and he speaks of his flaws as a healer. And how he has to adapt to Alicia's bluntness. What I'm not hearing is Alicia's flaws. It paints a picture that healers are just supposed to humor healers and healers are supposed to just be understanding that Closers will just sound mean. Excuses are made like, "Your family just wasn't verbally affectionate." But what I don't hear is "That's not an excuse. You own your own behavior." A lot of these videos make is sound that healers have to compromise and concede. And Closers are just supposed to go through the motions to appease healers. As a healer, if an effort seems insincere...it doesn't matter what is said. I'd love to see how closers have to care...not just pat healers on the head so they don't cause closers to be annoyed by a healer's pouting. They talk about how sweet Jono was taking care of Alicia during her pregnancy. I wish she would take some accountability instead of pointing to how she was raised or attributing it to the fact she had morning sickness. the only thing she's admitting is her self-betrayal. What about how she wounded her husband? She talks about how Jono's insecurities came before HER...what about when she puts her own dreams and desires before him? Again, I really like the idea of these videos...they just seem one-sided. And as a healer...I'd love to be able to show this to my closer spouse and not have it be like, "Well...see...He just needed to 'get' that she's gonna be brutal." I find myself cow-towing to closers...and this is yet another example of how we healers do so for our relationships.
I agree--Healers are STRONG. It would be nice to hear more positive ways of talking about their strengths. I also agree that I'm not hearing much negativity about closers, who can be very rigid and need to hold themselves accountable.
yeah, id agree as well. Though part of that deal with it dynamic i think comes from the separation in the first place. Some of us arent all healer or arent all bulldozer. Those of us who are a bit of both learn a bit of both, those who are all in dont learn imo. Not a judgement, but an observation. Like learning compassion, humility and concern for others while bulldozing aheads all youve done is surely a hard thing to admit let alone practice
In the retrospect of their divorce its fairly obvious this is a domineering wife making her husband apologize for holding her back by being too weak as they eased their audience into the idea of them being incompatible so they could profit off the divorce, which again was clearly the businesspersons idea. Their whole channel is pretty gross and exactly what I hope never to see in the marriage of anyone I know- they would legitimately be better off if they were shouting at each other this live therapy litigation is one of the most repulsive concepts I have ever seen.
As a closer/steamroller i appreciate Jono explaining his side throughout this series. He makes a lot of sense but many of his perspectives wouldnt have occured to me without them being spelled out. I appreciate Alicia's side because it helps me see how and where i need to grow. So thanks, both of you!
I think the title could be like: little flower and total bulldozer, or something like that. Because the situation was no only that Jono was triggered emotionally in the conversation, Alicia has difficulty communicate in a more empatic? way, and that could be a problem for a lot people in their relationship. So, no only was Jono, Alicia had to work too in that regard.
My husband and I have a very similar dynamic. He has a very feminine energy and I have a much more masculine energy. We attribute it to me growing up with all brothers and him growing up with all sisters. It's been a challenge for sure, but it's also been great to grow with each other and made us develop a style of communication that worked for us both. It’s taken compromise on both our sides, but I know I am better for it, and it’s helped me to understand people who are more sensitive.
My mother would probably describe me as a delicate flower, but our relationship has gotten better now that we have come to better understand and communicate with each other. She's started saying "your feelings are valid" or "you are not *insert mean thing someone said* ". I also tell her "I'm not in problem solving mode. I'm in feelings mode" and when I take care of things, I reassure her she doesn't need to handle it. A lot of people tell me she can handle things, but I see how it stresses her, so I try to help.
As a straight woman, I have to say, I love your wife. She is me in many ways, and I feel so represented when she's on screen. My husband is also the "woman" in the relationship, and it works so well for us. It's challenging for sure. But we both learn from each other. I've become a softer, better person because of him. And I often forget that. Watching your videos reminds me sometimes how much I really love and appreciate him. We've had such different lives, and we accept everything about each other. Opposites really do work. Thank you for doing what y'all do. Also Jono, I know you don't do shows very often. But, I've absolutely fallen in love with Ted Lasso. And the idea of toxic positivity fascinates me. Would you be willing to do a video on this topic? I would love to hear your thoughts as someone who is a very positive person. You're very good at keeping it real, too lol.
Before seeing this hubby and I joke that I am a fragile flower. If I'm tired and he makes a "loud" noise, I will scream and/or cry. We've learned sometimes a fart is "loud" to me. I have been fartled-startled by a fart. We've learned I need to voice if I am upset for a legit reason or if I am crying for no reason. There is no talking it through if my emotions are running free without the involvement of my brain. If I am actually angry or hurt by something, we talk about it.
Here's something I don't understand. I've found a lot of people I know who are blunt, do not like it when people are blunt back to them. That annoys me because I don't like it when they are too blunt with me but if I say anything they say I'm too soft...as if it's a bad thing and my fault and I should change it. And yet, if I treat them the same way their feelings are hurt. 🤷♀
I AM A DELICATE LITTLE FLOWER!! and somehow, I can also completely trod all over other people's feelings, including my partner's, when I get to my limit.
Reminds me of an Ani Difranco lyric. "I know men are delicate, origami creatures who need women to unfold them, hold them when they cry, but I am tired of being your savior and I am tired of telling you why." Love your channel.
I have a similar story to Alicia’s (where she gave a kid a black eye). I remember being in line with a bunch of kids for a rope swing, and every kid started messing up the person in front of them by grabbing their leg right before their swing. I told the boy behind me to not do that. He said okay, but I knew that he didn’t mean it, so I repeated “seriously, don’t do it”. His face became more serious and he said alright. Well, he grabbed my leg anyway, and I wanted revenge without getting in trouble. I decided I would sling my jacket, (which had a metal zipper), over my shoulder. I would confront him, and if he apologized I’d forgive him. If he didn’t, I would swing around quickly so that my metal zipper hit him right in the face, and it would look like an accident. When I did this, he did not apologize, and he got zippered to the face, and I got away with it. For anyone alarmed by this: don’t worry, I am a very different person now than when I was in elementary school. So, if you find the “make it look like an accident” part chilling, I don’t do that now. Now I would just tell them _why_ their actions bothered me so much (in this case it was because I rarely had times where I could have fun as a kid, and this boy ruined this moment that was supposed to be fun).
Great video! My husband is also a delicate flower and I love that about him! I grew up surrounded by a bunch of hyper-macho guys in my school, so he was a breath of fresh air when I met him since he was a more nuanced person. He's had around 20% female friends and 80% male friends while my friends have been pretty evenly male and female my whole life. It's been really interesting to see each other's mixes of masculine and feminine traits. He's an ENFP (right on the introvert/extrovert line) and I'm an INFJ, so we're both sensitive and emotional in different ways, haha! He also grew up with osteogensis imperfecta (brittle bone disease) so especially as a child, he was physically delicate too, but his bones have become much stronger as an adult. We love our non-traditional dynamic!
Im both a delicate little flower AND incredibly blunt and direct. So a lot of my life was learning to alter my words in a way that they are still honest but if i put myself in the other persons shoes i wouldnt be hurt. Im incredibly driven, but very sensitive. Im essentially both of them in one person but can never be truly content. My partner is much more gracious and non-confrontational and that works great so far
I’m not in a relationship, but I am definitely a flower. I always get accused of being too sensitive and that hurts because I feel everything deeply. Unfortunately, some of my coworkers I think may be closers (I can’t say for sure because I’m not them and I don’t know what’s going on in their brain) but it leads to conflict because I feel like they’re being bossy and I need someone to ask me to do something, not tell me what to do.
Both my partner and I are delicate flowers generally, but I am definitely quicker to anger and irritation than he is. That said, because my partner is patient and doesn’t really raise his voice, it reminds me that I sometimes need to be gentler in my approach to him and to other people. But that’s what I love so much about him: he’s gentle and patient in his approach and is okay with it. ❤❤
Jono, could you please, please discuss what you and Alicia actually had to DO to get to the point where both people were able to be true to themselves and have their needs met, and were able to stay together and come out stronger on the other side? I am experiencing the same dynamic in my marriage, except in this case I am you and my husband is Alicia. His needs that challenged my fears have been on the back burner for 10 years, and we hit the catastrophic wall you described earlier in this year. We both want to do what we need to do to make this work TOGETHER. You said that your drive and effort only started getting you where you needed to go when you were able to let go of your doubt and fear's power over you. HOW??? I am dragging an anchor the size of a house behind me, and I HAVE to let it go. I've been following both your channels for a long time, and your content really speaks to me. I'd be forever grateful if you would speak on this
Probably my most prevalent trait that people see once they've come to know me really really well is how introspective I am. All my life I've spent most of my mental energy just mulling over and inspecting questions, concepts, and confusions about myself and the world around me. I had no idea until I was an adult that this wasn't how everybody was, and a weakness I've since come to realize it has brought in my life is a tendency to overplan and overthink to the point of inaction as well as not leaving room in my mind for recognizing that people are different at their core from one another and have vastly different experiences that would lead them to equally vastly different conclusions about what is important and what they should focus their energy on. It's been a big learning curve, especially in my marriage, trying to keep in mind that others have a different thought process as well as a different filter between their thoughts and their words/actions than I do. My wife and I have many times had arguments where 5 minutes in I've realized...we're literally agreeing and just don't realize it. I've believed for a number of years now that communication starts with listening as its base, but I don't think I recognized the care I needed to put into listening.
I get that people are different, but this feels like such an extreme difference in personalities and values between you two (e.g. sensitivity vs insensitivity, contentment vs over-functioning). At what point is the incompatibility too much? As someone who relates to Jonathan, I would find it hard to stay attracted towards someone so different, especially if I'm the one who leans more towards insight, unconditional love, and sensitivity -- which are spiritual virtues -- and having the beauty of my best qualities not only go unseen/unappreciated but also criticised! You'll always have to be the bigger person; the one less understood and less seen; and yet the one who receives the most criticism, no? I couldn't do it, personally.
Thank you for having this segment on your channel. I have learned so much from you in general. It means a lot to me and I enjoy the content you bring to us.
I am the flower and my husband definitely the closer. This series has helped me and I hope to get him to watch and learn from them. My biggest thing is that I feel he's insensitive and that I have to think and do like him or he doesn't even try to understand me, at least that is how it feels. He would definitely be the one to tell me to get over it and move on and he doesn't get why I'm so emotional. I love that we all want to be accepted and given unconditional love. It's interesting how that gets lost in relationships with the ones we love the most. Thank you for this series. It has made me be more introspective on what I can do to improve and change myself and understand him more.
Men like Jono and my husband I've always described as happy puppies. Always happy but equally as sensitive. Thankfully I love puppies lol. Alicia, we are literally twins in this subject 😂
So I am definitely a healer in my personality. As I have grown I think I always was a bit of a closer as I don’t let others walk over my feelings but earlier I would avoid conflict and now I don’t as much. My husband is very much a closer/dreamer split. He can be very blunt but also very not task oriented. We blend very well now. Our big thing was my husband realizing the phrase, do you want solutions now or to vent. This helped him stop pushing me when I was still working through stuff and not ready to confront it yet. Love watches your shows and how it addresses healthy conflict
This video is good for my soul..My husband jokes that I am a butterfly and he is a bulldog. I especially relate to the part about working/serving your spouse in a way that they appreciate. My husband is very anal about the way certain things are done and even though I try my absolute best to exactly copy the way he wants it done, It's not good enough so then I catch myself not even trying or taking initiative about things because I don't want to be fussed at.
I mean, I had mostly female friends growing up... I don't know why??? I did find out years after high school. That there were rumors I was sleeping with everyone. Or I was a little bit gay. Neither were true. Just awkward. 😂😅😂😅
Right? It's similar with girls who have mostly guy friends, she gets labeled a "whore" because people assume it's all sexual. I get along better with guys and always have, that's just my personality lol. I've tried having girl friends and they annoy me lol, am sorry to say it!!!
This video was unexpectedly profound for me, because WOW, do I ever have this same kind of friction with my mother. When you were talking about words of affirmation and conditional displays of love it clicked for me. I’m in my early 20s, and her version of allowing me to grow up is just… stopping being the mother I’ve always known. These days she feels like a drill sergeant at worst and an uninterested roommate at best. Communication is predominantly her telling me what things she wants done, me asking her where things are if I can’t find them, or small talk. I get instant commentary for things that aren’t to her standards, but rarely complimented for things that are, because that’s ‘the way things should be’, even if it REALLY isn’t for me and it takes me a huge amount of effort to reach that level. We’re grieving the loss of a family member, and I understand just how much else she has going on, but would a kind word here or there really take so much effort? I feel like the rift grows wider between us every day and it makes me really sad, because I genuinely can’t tell what’s just me growing up and what’s her pulling away too much too fast. Thanks for putting this video out here, at least now I have a lead on why her actions have been bothering me so much lately.
I am a flower, but used tomboy qualities to hide it to some degree. But I learned to embrace my feminine qualities, yet still somewhat of an independent achiever. But also, get help for some things from my dad and two younger brothers. But I tend not to seek help from others, unless, they don’t mind helping me. Otherwise, I tend not to rely on guys, mainly my few gals, who actually act as if I am a not burden to them. Co-worker situations, is where I notice this the most.
Thank you so much for being an honest portrayal of this dynamic in a relationship. My boyfriend and I are very much this type of couple and we own it rather well but we don't often see portrayals of the couples with this dynamic who can address some of the frustrations that can come frommm--- *Jazz hands* 🎉 incorrect expectations🎉
I treasure this channel, waiting for the next video, since I have exact same situation, although twist is I am not happy of who I am and how my "flowery" behavior is seemed to me looking useless and not masculine enough. All connected to self-doubt and self-loathing you mentioned!
Really relate to your dynamic. My husband is a beautiful, delicate flower. It's very hard for me to talk about difficult feelings with him. He looks like he is going to cry every time. I always feel like "the bad guy," while also feeling like my expectations aren't that major. I also try to make my delivery as kind as possible. Going to keep trying, keeping your shared wisdom in mind! Thank you!
I had people in my life that are closer and gentle in the same time. Its like you are a big guy and protecting a delicate flower- you will not be mean with a flower, or say that the flower its too delicate- no you just have the ability to protect
Yep, I identify with this. My husband is a delicate flower, but I would say a sleeping delicate flower because he didn't seem to understand when I would tell him, that if something didn't change our garden will wither and won't last. He was all unicorns and rainbows and everything will be just fine. Then I said I give up. So we've been married for 15 years have 3 kids. I just discovered your channel yesterday and am hoping that if you are making it maybe we can, too. We are also complete opposites + from two different countries across the ocean, so multiply your struggles by a thousand maybe and that will give you the picture 😬😆
My husband is a ‚delicate flower‘ too. Unfortunately he is not true to himself at all about this. So he is constantly either overcompensating with a kind of show-off-behavior seeking for applause or he plays the inferior and victim who will never ever be accepted by his environment. During all this he clings to me like a little child and forces me to take the part of the leader (who is not me). I feel like he needs some real strong words to wake up but on the other hand I am afraid it would break him. What should I do?
Delicate flowers never do well with strong words. You might find it helpful to educate yourself more so that you can understand him better. Look up The Highly Sensitive Person, or HSP. And in all relationships, there needs to be an environment of safety. Feeling truly safe with someone is the only way we risk revealing our true selves. Your husband may be able to accept himself more if he knows you accept him. That being said, people ALWAYS need to do their own work on themselves. You can never “fix” anyone, but you might find that if you understand him better, you can love him better.
This resonates sooooo much with me and where I am right now in my life… I uses to be something like Alicia, but have « lost myself » in so many ways and for so long that I am not sure I can get back to where I was… that’s a tough one to live with…
Thank you for this! I am like Alicia and my husband is like Jonathan. Eleven years into marriage and I am grateful to learn more and understand more about our needs, strengths and flip sides 😅.
Me and my partner are both on the more sensitive side although he’s a thinker healer, very introverted and i’m a healer dreamer, middle of the road extroversion. We’ve had some issues for both me being more extroverted and him being very introverted, and me being a very emotional person 😅 thankfully he’s amazing at caring for me.
I'm not a steamroller or anything, but I am very much an INTP, so to my sensitive husband (INFP/possibly BPD), I guess I can seem a bit rude sometimes. I relate to Alicia a lot. This is wonderful advice 💖
The masculine, tough male/feminine, soft female doesn't work for everyone. People should be allowed to be what they are and it doesn't matter if you are male or female. There shouldn't be women's things or men's things because they can like and do whatever they want. There are differences in competitive sports in some areas of course, and most males have bodies with advantages over female bodies so I do believe they should compete separately (unless it's just for fun and everyone is cool with it). But as far as what males or females should be allowed to act like or do, that should be up to them.
Awee Sorry for the pain Alicia but glad you learned something from it! My oldest sister was like you, sick whenbshe had 3 girls but my youngest sister had he first child and a girl, no sickness at all, soo wired! I love, the love you two have even if your two are totally opposites, I hope I fine someone, that gets me, even though we Maybe opposites! I'm like Alicia, blunt and works hard because my worth is tired to everything I do, grew up with 4 brothers ect and I definitely compare myself to everyone and think I'm not doing enough but im lole John, i 2nd guess myself all the time!! I love all your videos and you two make my day 💚🥰
I'm a delicate flower..... AND also the type of delicate flower, that'll turn into a people devouring nightmare flower, if you're stupid enough to corner me that one time too often. If it's about ppl I care for, even the 1st time can be already "too often" 😌 Don't you ever think that delicacy is not actually very hard work in which I decide to not let the nightmare flower out, for the sake of myself n everyone OTHER than you! And remember, your strikes are filling up as we go! And trust me, noone EVER (myself included) wants to see what comes undone if we get to THAT! 👀
Alicia I get you! I had mostly guy friends growing up and I'm not very feminine in my interests. I don't tend to like all girl hangouts, my interests always make me feel odd when the rest of the girls want to discuss hair and nails and outfits and I'm just not into that. I like insects and collecting bones and talking about punching stuff and having my own wreck room so I can break glass bottles or electronics for therapy. Also the pride of having hunted for my own food, and my physical strength, and of working with my hands to make useful items.
I’m a woman and I relate to Alicia, tho I’ve spent years being able to balance between the two now. I’m still more masculine in personality, but I know how to talk and relate to women more now. 6:18
Alicia and I are like the same person 😂 my husband isn’t delicate, BUT he grew up with six women, so he’s really good at all the female stuff. That works out really well for us because we have two emotional little girls and irrational feelings are not one of my strengths 🤭😬
I see me and my usband in you 😂 but at the same time, he is my soul mate. I’m the girl who beated guys in school 🤣 he is the most sweet guy I know. And I love him so much. We both talk with each other a lot, and sincerely. But it was a lot of work to get to this point of talking allways. We don’t have to be the same, that would be boring, but it’s team work.
Omg, I was talking to a coligue the other day and he was talking to his girlfriend about having done some chores around the home and if she noticed that after they were finished talking, because we got along well during that shift I jokingly also said "did you expect a medal for what you have done around the house?" he luckily laughed but he then proceeded to tell me that it was not like that in his previous relationship and that he values that, which was understandable but I had to laugh so much at Alicia saying that in the video and I also work in a male dominante environment, where I feel conformable (I do not mind being in female groups tho altho I do fear some typical things like the oversharing and gossiping and stuff like that, which come to find out, happens among men just as much as among women, so that was out of the window, it really dose not metter if it is a men or a women, the values have to align with our own), it dose not mean that I'm not very sensitive but I do believe that there is some balance there, at lest more then before
I think I am, the buffer for my boyfriend, because he very much is the introvert where as the middle person. Need introvert time but also want extrovert time
Will you analyze Nick Fury’s trauma in Secret Invasion when it’s been out for awhile? We really see Fury as a more well rounded character and we see his suffering and how he pushes people away because of his trauma of the blip but then he has to reconnect with his loved ones and reconcile in order to stop humanity from being wiped out so the skrulls can have Earth as a new home. Fury does some not so great things out of fear of losing the ones he cares for.
It’s funny cause my boyfriend always jokes, he calls me his delicate little flower too haha sometimes he says little petunia lmaoo. I know I am a healer too so I’m sensitive 😭 sometimes tooooo sensitive
I am a cis gendered man, however I am not particularly masculine. I am not all that feminine either. I look at both categories and whilst I have some traits of both, I am neither. By the way. I am not looking for a new label. Cis gendered male is fine. I am sceptical of masculine and feminine labels. They are not consistent across cultures world wide, and are not consistent across history. I was wondering. Are there anyone else who believes that they do not fit either category.
Yes, hi. I am proud of masculine traits I have but I'm a cis woman(I think I used the right term) I don't feel feminine different times but I'm way too emotional to feel comfortable as a guy either. I like being a woman but also I don't feel feminine exactly. I think of myself as a tomboy, sort of. If I missed your point somehow I'm sorry, and let me know? Not always socially observant
@@sarahlandis289 I do wonder. How much of gender is the result of biological sex. How much of it is just societal conditioning? For example: The colours pink for females and blue for males are completely arbitrary.
@@The482075 Yep. I actually hate pink for that reason. "Oh, you're a girl, pink is your color!" So dumb. I won't be told what color I like because I happen to be female shaped. 😡 (rant over)
@@The482075 I have a lot of masculine interests too. Others have always thought it was weird but my parents taught me that I should be able to pursue my interests, whether they are "feminine" or not. I enjoy my strength and tossing things around, wish I had been able to be in boy scouts so I could learn knot tying and starting fires from scratch and other survival skills. I love insects and collecting bones and making useful items with my hands. I tend to feel out of place in groups of women. I don't like clothing shopping and I don't style my hair and I don't do my nails and my husband owns more shoes than I do! 😂
If I had to guess I think I was raised nonbinary. My parents didn't have expectations of me for what I should do or who I should be based on my gender. Sorry for multiple replies 😕
Is another else a mixture of delicate flower and closer? Both of them are very much like my parents where my dad is the sensitive flower and my mom is the closer. Then they have me where I keep my dad’s emotional intensity while still being incredibly blunt like my mom. Full disclosure tho I’ve never been in a relationship
I feel like it’s less about the words you say and more about the energy with which you say things. For example, we all know people who speak very politely but their energy is one of contempt or judgement.
I’m the fragile flower in our relationship, but I have a different term for it. I call it my Little Bitch Disease😅🥹 Any time I’m being overly sensitive, I apologize and say it’s just my LBD (little bitch disease) coming out. It cracks me and my partner up😄
My partner has found out the hard way that I’m the delicate lil flower in our relationship , I can’t remember the conversation per say 😅 but he said something to me and it was harsh and to direct don’t get me wrong I’m direct myself but this was harsh and heartless form of direct not sure if that makes sense , and he looked at me and within 2 seconds my eyes were full tears and he stopped and realised what he’d said “ noh noh I’m sorry sweetie I didn’t mean it like that “ we were sat down at the time he got the sleeve of his shirt took my glasses off and wiped my tears as they fell I thought it was wholesome 😢 but he did back track and said it a different way and it was less offensive and ok situation got sorted 😅
How did you guys ever get together???? I mean you work so well but the conversation about blunt vs delicate flower only happened after you got married??
I’m definitely just like your wife! Lost someone I was engaged to because of this significant difference no matter how hard we tried to both learn to become more secure. It’s incredibly sad to know that with more help from a couple like you, we could have probably made it! I’m so happy to see you’ve been successful!! God is good!!
My late fiance was the delicate flower, and I was the bulldozer. I always admired his gentleness and compassion, and adored his childlike wonder in the world. I have tried to emulate that in my life since his passing.
I am so sorry for your loss
That is such a wonderful way of honoring him! Bulldozers are so admirable too.
May he rest in peace, and may you find healing ❤ wish you the best!
sorry for your loss but also how wonderful how you can integrate all the good that you could take from it and still somewhat basically carry a part of him as you and honoring him and what he has given you, while still being yourself, very respectable, I wish you all the best!
The feng & shei
I am so sorry for his tragic passing 😢❤🎉
Can we all just acknowledge how awesome it is when people can embrace being a delicate flower? It seems to me that when people do not feel free to be sensitive it can really cause problems. When people can't bring themselves to feel hurt, they can lash out and hurt others.
As a society there is a certain judgement of being too sensitive, for women, as well as men. Even in this video, while you can tell that Jono is totally ok with who he is, both of them are lightly poking fun at it.
Facts
When they talk about Jono they say condescending things like he's a "delicate flower" and he speaks of his flaws as a healer. And how he has to adapt to Alicia's bluntness. What I'm not hearing is Alicia's flaws. It paints a picture that healers are just supposed to humor healers and healers are supposed to just be understanding that Closers will just sound mean. Excuses are made like, "Your family just wasn't verbally affectionate." But what I don't hear is "That's not an excuse. You own your own behavior." A lot of these videos make is sound that healers have to compromise and concede. And Closers are just supposed to go through the motions to appease healers. As a healer, if an effort seems insincere...it doesn't matter what is said. I'd love to see how closers have to care...not just pat healers on the head so they don't cause closers to be annoyed by a healer's pouting. They talk about how sweet Jono was taking care of Alicia during her pregnancy. I wish she would take some accountability instead of pointing to how she was raised or attributing it to the fact she had morning sickness. the only thing she's admitting is her self-betrayal. What about how she wounded her husband? She talks about how Jono's insecurities came before HER...what about when she puts her own dreams and desires before him? Again, I really like the idea of these videos...they just seem one-sided. And as a healer...I'd love to be able to show this to my closer spouse and not have it be like, "Well...see...He just needed to 'get' that she's gonna be brutal." I find myself cow-towing to closers...and this is yet another example of how we healers do so for our relationships.
I agree--Healers are STRONG. It would be nice to hear more positive ways of talking about their strengths. I also agree that I'm not hearing much negativity about closers, who can be very rigid and need to hold themselves accountable.
yeah, id agree as well. Though part of that deal with it dynamic i think comes from the separation in the first place. Some of us arent all healer or arent all bulldozer.
Those of us who are a bit of both learn a bit of both, those who are all in dont learn imo. Not a judgement, but an observation.
Like learning compassion, humility and concern for others while bulldozing aheads all youve done is surely a hard thing to admit let alone practice
Agreed. I would not be comfortable around someone with her personality. But he's someone that i could understand.
In the retrospect of their divorce its fairly obvious this is a domineering wife making her husband apologize for holding her back by being too weak as they eased their audience into the idea of them being incompatible so they could profit off the divorce, which again was clearly the businesspersons idea. Their whole channel is pretty gross and exactly what I hope never to see in the marriage of anyone I know- they would legitimately be better off if they were shouting at each other this live therapy litigation is one of the most repulsive concepts I have ever seen.
And absolutely everyond would agree with my assessment if the genders of this BS relationship were reversed.
“WERE JUST FRIENDS”
“That hurt both physically and emotionally”
I’m dying😂
As a closer/steamroller i appreciate Jono explaining his side throughout this series. He makes a lot of sense but many of his perspectives wouldnt have occured to me without them being spelled out. I appreciate Alicia's side because it helps me see how and where i need to grow. So thanks, both of you!
I think the title could be like: little flower and total bulldozer, or something like that. Because the situation was no only that Jono was triggered emotionally in the conversation, Alicia has difficulty communicate in a more empatic? way, and that could be a problem for a lot people in their relationship. So, no only was Jono, Alicia had to work too in that regard.
I have 4 brothers, being uncomfortable in large groups of women is a mood 😂
My husband and I have a very similar dynamic. He has a very feminine energy and I have a much more masculine energy. We attribute it to me growing up with all brothers and him growing up with all sisters. It's been a challenge for sure, but it's also been great to grow with each other and made us develop a style of communication that worked for us both. It’s taken compromise on both our sides, but I know I am better for it, and it’s helped me to understand people who are more sensitive.
Cool, my husband and I also have a similar energy! We kind of role reversal with our preferences, except I'm still quite emotional.
My mother would probably describe me as a delicate flower, but our relationship has gotten better now that we have come to better understand and communicate with each other.
She's started saying "your feelings are valid" or "you are not *insert mean thing someone said* ". I also tell her "I'm not in problem solving mode. I'm in feelings mode" and when I take care of things, I reassure her she doesn't need to handle it. A lot of people tell me she can handle things, but I see how it stresses her, so I try to help.
That sounds like a wonderful thing to me. 🙂
“I’ve never hit a girl!” - I related so hard, tomboy to tomboy ❤️❤️
As a straight woman, I have to say, I love your wife. She is me in many ways, and I feel so represented when she's on screen. My husband is also the "woman" in the relationship, and it works so well for us. It's challenging for sure. But we both learn from each other. I've become a softer, better person because of him. And I often forget that. Watching your videos reminds me sometimes how much I really love and appreciate him. We've had such different lives, and we accept everything about each other. Opposites really do work.
Thank you for doing what y'all do.
Also Jono, I know you don't do shows very often. But, I've absolutely fallen in love with Ted Lasso. And the idea of toxic positivity fascinates me. Would you be willing to do a video on this topic? I would love to hear your thoughts as someone who is a very positive person. You're very good at keeping it real, too lol.
Before seeing this hubby and I joke that I am a fragile flower. If I'm tired and he makes a "loud" noise, I will scream and/or cry. We've learned sometimes a fart is "loud" to me. I have been fartled-startled by a fart. We've learned I need to voice if I am upset for a legit reason or if I am crying for no reason. There is no talking it through if my emotions are running free without the involvement of my brain. If I am actually angry or hurt by something, we talk about it.
Here's something I don't understand. I've found a lot of people I know who are blunt, do not like it when people are blunt back to them. That annoys me because I don't like it when they are too blunt with me but if I say anything they say I'm too soft...as if it's a bad thing and my fault and I should change it. And yet, if I treat them the same way their feelings are hurt. 🤷♀
Maybe they are projecting their own feelings onto you?
I just tell those snowflakes to eat my as*.😂❤🎉 I am not nice. 😅
I AM A DELICATE LITTLE FLOWER!!
and somehow, I can also completely trod all over other people's feelings, including my partner's, when I get to my limit.
Reminds me of an Ani Difranco lyric.
"I know men are delicate, origami creatures who need women to unfold them, hold them when they cry, but I am tired of being your savior and I am tired of telling you why."
Love your channel.
I have a similar story to Alicia’s (where she gave a kid a black eye). I remember being in line with a bunch of kids for a rope swing, and every kid started messing up the person in front of them by grabbing their leg right before their swing. I told the boy behind me to not do that. He said okay, but I knew that he didn’t mean it, so I repeated “seriously, don’t do it”. His face became more serious and he said alright.
Well, he grabbed my leg anyway, and I wanted revenge without getting in trouble. I decided I would sling my jacket, (which had a metal zipper), over my shoulder. I would confront him, and if he apologized I’d forgive him. If he didn’t, I would swing around quickly so that my metal zipper hit him right in the face, and it would look like an accident. When I did this, he did not apologize, and he got zippered to the face, and I got away with it.
For anyone alarmed by this: don’t worry, I am a very different person now than when I was in elementary school. So, if you find the “make it look like an accident” part chilling, I don’t do that now. Now I would just tell them _why_ their actions bothered me so much (in this case it was because I rarely had times where I could have fun as a kid, and this boy ruined this moment that was supposed to be fun).
Great video! My husband is also a delicate flower and I love that about him! I grew up surrounded by a bunch of hyper-macho guys in my school, so he was a breath of fresh air when I met him since he was a more nuanced person. He's had around 20% female friends and 80% male friends while my friends have been pretty evenly male and female my whole life. It's been really interesting to see each other's mixes of masculine and feminine traits. He's an ENFP (right on the introvert/extrovert line) and I'm an INFJ, so we're both sensitive and emotional in different ways, haha! He also grew up with osteogensis imperfecta (brittle bone disease) so especially as a child, he was physically delicate too, but his bones have become much stronger as an adult. We love our non-traditional dynamic!
Ah, so you are a chaos duo! 😊❤
Im both a delicate little flower AND incredibly blunt and direct. So a lot of my life was learning to alter my words in a way that they are still honest but if i put myself in the other persons shoes i wouldnt be hurt. Im incredibly driven, but very sensitive. Im essentially both of them in one person but can never be truly content. My partner is much more gracious and non-confrontational and that works great so far
I’m not in a relationship, but I am definitely a flower. I always get accused of being too sensitive and that hurts because I feel everything deeply. Unfortunately, some of my coworkers I think may be closers (I can’t say for sure because I’m not them and I don’t know what’s going on in their brain) but it leads to conflict because I feel like they’re being bossy and I need someone to ask me to do something, not tell me what to do.
Same
Both my partner and I are delicate flowers generally, but I am definitely quicker to anger and irritation than he is. That said, because my partner is patient and doesn’t really raise his voice, it reminds me that I sometimes need to be gentler in my approach to him and to other people. But that’s what I love so much about him: he’s gentle and patient in his approach and is okay with it. ❤❤
I am a delicate little flower. In fact, my second name translates to "daisy". 🌼 😄 I've been loving these videos, I relate to Jono a lot!
Jono, could you please, please discuss what you and Alicia actually had to DO to get to the point where both people were able to be true to themselves and have their needs met, and were able to stay together and come out stronger on the other side? I am experiencing the same dynamic in my marriage, except in this case I am you and my husband is Alicia. His needs that challenged my fears have been on the back burner for 10 years, and we hit the catastrophic wall you described earlier in this year. We both want to do what we need to do to make this work TOGETHER. You said that your drive and effort only started getting you where you needed to go when you were able to let go of your doubt and fear's power over you. HOW??? I am dragging an anchor the size of a house behind me, and I HAVE to let it go. I've been following both your channels for a long time, and your content really speaks to me. I'd be forever grateful if you would speak on this
Probably my most prevalent trait that people see once they've come to know me really really well is how introspective I am. All my life I've spent most of my mental energy just mulling over and inspecting questions, concepts, and confusions about myself and the world around me. I had no idea until I was an adult that this wasn't how everybody was, and a weakness I've since come to realize it has brought in my life is a tendency to overplan and overthink to the point of inaction as well as not leaving room in my mind for recognizing that people are different at their core from one another and have vastly different experiences that would lead them to equally vastly different conclusions about what is important and what they should focus their energy on. It's been a big learning curve, especially in my marriage, trying to keep in mind that others have a different thought process as well as a different filter between their thoughts and their words/actions than I do. My wife and I have many times had arguments where 5 minutes in I've realized...we're literally agreeing and just don't realize it. I've believed for a number of years now that communication starts with listening as its base, but I don't think I recognized the care I needed to put into listening.
I get that people are different, but this feels like such an extreme difference in personalities and values between you two (e.g. sensitivity vs insensitivity, contentment vs over-functioning). At what point is the incompatibility too much? As someone who relates to Jonathan, I would find it hard to stay attracted towards someone so different, especially if I'm the one who leans more towards insight, unconditional love, and sensitivity -- which are spiritual virtues -- and having the beauty of my best qualities not only go unseen/unappreciated but also criticised! You'll always have to be the bigger person; the one less understood and less seen; and yet the one who receives the most criticism, no? I couldn't do it, personally.
Thank you for having this segment on your channel. I have learned so much from you in general. It means a lot to me and I enjoy the content you bring to us.
Glad it was helpful!
I am the flower and my husband definitely the closer. This series has helped me and I hope to get him to watch and learn from them.
My biggest thing is that I feel he's insensitive and that I have to think and do like him or he doesn't even try to understand me, at least that is how it feels. He would definitely be the one to tell me to get over it and move on and he doesn't get why I'm so emotional.
I love that we all want to be accepted and given unconditional love. It's interesting how that gets lost in relationships with the ones we love the most.
Thank you for this series. It has made me be more introspective on what I can do to improve and change myself and understand him more.
Men like Jono and my husband I've always described as happy puppies. Always happy but equally as sensitive. Thankfully I love puppies lol. Alicia, we are literally twins in this subject 😂
Same
So I am definitely a healer in my personality. As I have grown I think I always was a bit of a closer as I don’t let others walk over my feelings but earlier I would avoid conflict and now I don’t as much. My husband is very much a closer/dreamer split. He can be very blunt but also very not task oriented. We blend very well now. Our big thing was my husband realizing the phrase, do you want solutions now or to vent. This helped him stop pushing me when I was still working through stuff and not ready to confront it yet. Love watches your shows and how it addresses healthy conflict
I also relate to Alicia so much here as a woman. I bring my husband as my social buffer soooo frequently.
I'd love for you to revisit this video post-divorce.
You guys are such a cool pair! Love these videos as always!!
This video is good for my soul..My husband jokes that I am a butterfly and he is a bulldog. I especially relate to the part about working/serving your spouse in a way that they appreciate. My husband is very anal about the way certain things are done and even though I try my absolute best to exactly copy the way he wants it done, It's not good enough so then I catch myself not even trying or taking initiative about things because I don't want to be fussed at.
I mean, I had mostly female friends growing up... I don't know why??? I did find out years after high school. That there were rumors I was sleeping with everyone. Or I was a little bit gay. Neither were true. Just awkward. 😂😅😂😅
Right? It's similar with girls who have mostly guy friends, she gets labeled a "whore" because people assume it's all sexual. I get along better with guys and always have, that's just my personality lol. I've tried having girl friends and they annoy me lol, am sorry to say it!!!
So you're just sexist... That's not cool
@@AliceVFame Not sexist. Just sexy. Tyvm. 🤣
This video was unexpectedly profound for me, because WOW, do I ever have this same kind of friction with my mother. When you were talking about words of affirmation and conditional displays of love it clicked for me. I’m in my early 20s, and her version of allowing me to grow up is just… stopping being the mother I’ve always known. These days she feels like a drill sergeant at worst and an uninterested roommate at best. Communication is predominantly her telling me what things she wants done, me asking her where things are if I can’t find them, or small talk. I get instant commentary for things that aren’t to her standards, but rarely complimented for things that are, because that’s ‘the way things should be’, even if it REALLY isn’t for me and it takes me a huge amount of effort to reach that level. We’re grieving the loss of a family member, and I understand just how much else she has going on, but would a kind word here or there really take so much effort? I feel like the rift grows wider between us every day and it makes me really sad, because I genuinely can’t tell what’s just me growing up and what’s her pulling away too much too fast. Thanks for putting this video out here, at least now I have a lead on why her actions have been bothering me so much lately.
My hubby is a delicate flower too!!! Loved this video thank you for making it ♥
I am a flower, but used tomboy qualities to hide it to some degree.
But I learned to embrace my feminine qualities, yet still somewhat of an independent achiever.
But also, get help for some things from my dad and two younger brothers.
But I tend not to seek help from others, unless, they don’t mind helping me. Otherwise, I tend not to rely on guys, mainly my few gals, who actually act as if I am a not burden to them. Co-worker situations, is where I notice this the most.
Thank you so much for being an honest portrayal of this dynamic in a relationship. My boyfriend and I are very much this type of couple and we own it rather well but we don't often see portrayals of the couples with this dynamic who can address some of the frustrations that can come frommm---
*Jazz hands*
🎉 incorrect expectations🎉
I love delicate men💞 It is so my type. My man fits that personality type also and we have been together for 11 years. 😍
I’m a delicate flowerrr🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️
I treasure this channel, waiting for the next video, since I have exact same situation, although twist is I am not happy of who I am and how my "flowery" behavior is seemed to me looking useless and not masculine enough. All connected to self-doubt and self-loathing you mentioned!
OMG the thumbnail of this video is amazing :D
What if you’re both a blunt closer and a delicate flower in one 😅
I relate so much to him, not really the delicate part, but just his fears...
Really relate to your dynamic. My husband is a beautiful, delicate flower. It's very hard for me to talk about difficult feelings with him. He looks like he is going to cry every time. I always feel like "the bad guy," while also feeling like my expectations aren't that major. I also try to make my delivery as kind as possible. Going to keep trying, keeping your shared wisdom in mind! Thank you!
I'm a delicate little flower 🌹
I had people in my life that are closer and gentle in the same time. Its like you are a big guy and protecting a delicate flower- you will not be mean with a flower, or say that the flower its too delicate- no you just have the ability to protect
Yep, I identify with this. My husband is a delicate flower, but I would say a sleeping delicate flower because he didn't seem to understand when I would tell him, that if something didn't change our garden will wither and won't last. He was all unicorns and rainbows and everything will be just fine. Then I said I give up. So we've been married for 15 years have 3 kids. I just discovered your channel yesterday and am hoping that if you are making it maybe we can, too. We are also complete opposites + from two different countries across the ocean, so multiply your struggles by a thousand maybe and that will give you the picture 😬😆
My husband is a ‚delicate flower‘ too. Unfortunately he is not true to himself at all about this. So he is constantly either overcompensating with a kind of show-off-behavior seeking for applause or he plays the inferior and victim who will never ever be accepted by his environment. During all this he clings to me like a little child and forces me to take the part of the leader (who is not me). I feel like he needs some real strong words to wake up but on the other hand I am afraid it would break him. What should I do?
Delicate flowers never do well with strong words. You might find it helpful to educate yourself more so that you can understand him better. Look up The Highly Sensitive Person, or HSP. And in all relationships, there needs to be an environment of safety. Feeling truly safe with someone is the only way we risk revealing our true selves. Your husband may be able to accept himself more if he knows you accept him. That being said, people ALWAYS need to do their own work on themselves. You can never “fix” anyone, but you might find that if you understand him better, you can love him better.
This resonates sooooo much with me and where I am right now in my life… I uses to be something like Alicia, but have « lost myself » in so many ways and for so long that I am not sure I can get back to where I was… that’s a tough one to live with…
Thank you for this! I am like Alicia and my husband is like Jonathan. Eleven years into marriage and I am grateful to learn more and understand more about our needs, strengths and flip sides 😅.
Me and my partner are both on the more sensitive side although he’s a thinker healer, very introverted and i’m a healer dreamer, middle of the road extroversion. We’ve had some issues for both me being more extroverted and him being very introverted, and me being a very emotional person 😅 thankfully he’s amazing at caring for me.
This series has been so incredible for me! I can't say enough how much I appreciate it.
Please do more of these.
My partner is the delicate flower, I don't know how he put up with me and for that I love him.
I'm not a steamroller or anything, but I am very much an INTP, so to my sensitive husband (INFP/possibly BPD), I guess I can seem a bit rude sometimes. I relate to Alicia a lot.
This is wonderful advice 💖
The masculine, tough male/feminine, soft female doesn't work for everyone. People should be allowed to be what they are and it doesn't matter if you are male or female. There shouldn't be women's things or men's things because they can like and do whatever they want. There are differences in competitive sports in some areas of course, and most males have bodies with advantages over female bodies so I do believe they should compete separately (unless it's just for fun and everyone is cool with it). But as far as what males or females should be allowed to act like or do, that should be up to them.
Awee Sorry for the pain Alicia but glad you learned something from it! My oldest sister was like you, sick whenbshe had 3 girls but my youngest sister had he first child and a girl, no sickness at all, soo wired! I love, the love you two have even if your two are totally opposites, I hope I fine someone, that gets me, even though we Maybe opposites! I'm like Alicia, blunt and works hard because my worth is tired to everything I do, grew up with 4 brothers ect and I definitely compare myself to everyone and think I'm not doing enough but im lole John, i 2nd guess myself all the time!! I love all your videos and you two make my day 💚🥰
I love delicate flowers ❤
I'm a delicate flower..... AND also the type of delicate flower, that'll turn into a people devouring nightmare flower, if you're stupid enough to corner me that one time too often. If it's about ppl I care for, even the 1st time can be already "too often" 😌
Don't you ever think that delicacy is not actually very hard work in which I decide to not let the nightmare flower out, for the sake of myself n everyone OTHER than you! And remember, your strikes are filling up as we go! And trust me, noone EVER (myself included) wants to see what comes undone if we get to THAT! 👀
I relate 100% to your relationship & experience with HG
Alicia I get you! I had mostly guy friends growing up and I'm not very feminine in my interests. I don't tend to like all girl hangouts, my interests always make me feel odd when the rest of the girls want to discuss hair and nails and outfits and I'm just not into that. I like insects and collecting bones and talking about punching stuff and having my own wreck room so I can break glass bottles or electronics for therapy. Also the pride of having hunted for my own food, and my physical strength, and of working with my hands to make useful items.
I’m a woman and I relate to Alicia, tho I’ve spent years being able to balance between the two now. I’m still more masculine in personality, but I know how to talk and relate to women more now. 6:18
Alicia and I are like the same person 😂 my husband isn’t delicate, BUT he grew up with six women, so he’s really good at all the female stuff. That works out really well for us because we have two emotional little girls and irrational feelings are not one of my strengths 🤭😬
That is cause they're not irrational 😂 They always make perfect sense, just not by the "mind" matrix, but the "emotion" matrix!
Thanks for this. I'm months into being married ❤ it's going well. So helpful to hear from older couples
I see me and my usband in you 😂 but at the same time, he is my soul mate. I’m the girl who beated guys in school 🤣 he is the most sweet guy I know. And I love him so much. We both talk with each other a lot, and sincerely. But it was a lot of work to get to this point of talking allways. We don’t have to be the same, that would be boring, but it’s team work.
I have a flower fiancé and my pregnancy was harsh because I am Epileptic. I had to change my medication for it
So relatable this is me and my man
Such a heartwarming video, love you guys!!!
I love John saying to his wife delicate flower 😂😂 I love John ❤
This series is soooo good for me
Haha yes XD People are like "you are mad" and I'm like "no that's not mad. you will will notice it when I'm mag, don't worry" :P
Omg, I was talking to a coligue the other day and he was talking to his girlfriend about having done some chores around the home and if she noticed that after they were finished talking, because we got along well during that shift I jokingly also said "did you expect a medal for what you have done around the house?" he luckily laughed but he then proceeded to tell me that it was not like that in his previous relationship and that he values that, which was understandable but I had to laugh so much at Alicia saying that in the video and I also work in a male dominante environment, where I feel conformable (I do not mind being in female groups tho altho I do fear some typical things like the oversharing and gossiping and stuff like that, which come to find out, happens among men just as much as among women, so that was out of the window, it really dose not metter if it is a men or a women, the values have to align with our own), it dose not mean that I'm not very sensitive but I do believe that there is some balance there, at lest more then before
I hope I find someone someday who looks at me the way your wife looks at you
What if you are a delicate little flower with anger issues that make you react like the unleashed kraken?
As a not-male I can relate with Alicia with the Christmas party thing
Thank you so much for this video!
I think I am, the buffer for my boyfriend, because he very much is the introvert where as the middle person. Need introvert time but also want extrovert time
Thank you!
Great video 🫶
I'm kinda the butch in my relationship too 😂 I feel ya
My husband is a bulldozer so hard to hear when your heart is ripped open
My boyfriend is a delicate little flower.
Will you analyze Nick Fury’s trauma in Secret Invasion when it’s been out for awhile? We really see Fury as a more well rounded character and we see his suffering and how he pushes people away because of his trauma of the blip but then he has to reconnect with his loved ones and reconcile in order to stop humanity from being wiped out so the skrulls can have Earth as a new home. Fury does some not so great things out of fear of losing the ones he cares for.
It’s funny cause my boyfriend always jokes, he calls me his delicate little flower too haha sometimes he says little petunia lmaoo. I know I am a healer too so I’m sensitive 😭 sometimes tooooo sensitive
I am a cis gendered man, however I am not particularly masculine. I am not all that feminine either.
I look at both categories and whilst I have some traits of both, I am neither.
By the way. I am not looking for a new label. Cis gendered male is fine. I am sceptical of masculine and feminine labels. They are not consistent across cultures world wide, and are not consistent across history.
I was wondering. Are there anyone else who believes that they do not fit either category.
Yes, hi. I am proud of masculine traits I have but I'm a cis woman(I think I used the right term) I don't feel feminine different times but I'm way too emotional to feel comfortable as a guy either. I like being a woman but also I don't feel feminine exactly. I think of myself as a tomboy, sort of. If I missed your point somehow I'm sorry, and let me know? Not always socially observant
@@sarahlandis289 I do wonder. How much of gender is the result of biological sex. How much of it is just societal conditioning?
For example: The colours pink for females and blue for males are completely arbitrary.
@@The482075 Yep. I actually hate pink for that reason. "Oh, you're a girl, pink is your color!" So dumb. I won't be told what color I like because I happen to be female shaped. 😡 (rant over)
@@The482075 I have a lot of masculine interests too. Others have always thought it was weird but my parents taught me that I should be able to pursue my interests, whether they are "feminine" or not. I enjoy my strength and tossing things around, wish I had been able to be in boy scouts so I could learn knot tying and starting fires from scratch and other survival skills. I love insects and collecting bones and making useful items with my hands. I tend to feel out of place in groups of women. I don't like clothing shopping and I don't style my hair and I don't do my nails and my husband owns more shoes than I do! 😂
If I had to guess I think I was raised nonbinary. My parents didn't have expectations of me for what I should do or who I should be based on my gender. Sorry for multiple replies 😕
Alicia could kick our collective a$$es 😂
i am indeed a delicate little flower. a pink hibiscus
Is another else a mixture of delicate flower and closer? Both of them are very much like my parents where my dad is the sensitive flower and my mom is the closer. Then they have me where I keep my dad’s emotional intensity while still being incredibly blunt like my mom. Full disclosure tho I’ve never been in a relationship
I love my delicate flower boyfriend 🧡
I feel like it’s less about the words you say and more about the energy with which you say things.
For example, we all know people who speak very politely but their energy is one of contempt or judgement.
This is giving minato and kushina from Naruto vibes 😂
I’m the fragile flower in our relationship, but I have a different term for it. I call it my Little Bitch Disease😅🥹 Any time I’m being overly sensitive, I apologize and say it’s just my LBD (little bitch disease) coming out. It cracks me and my partner up😄
My partner has found out the hard way that I’m the delicate lil flower in our relationship , I can’t remember the conversation per say 😅 but he said something to me and it was harsh and to direct don’t get me wrong I’m direct myself but this was harsh and heartless form of direct not sure if that makes sense , and he looked at me and within 2 seconds my eyes were full tears and he stopped and realised what he’d said “ noh noh I’m sorry sweetie I didn’t mean it like that “ we were sat down at the time he got the sleeve of his shirt took my glasses off and wiped my tears as they fell I thought it was wholesome 😢 but he did back track and said it a different way and it was less offensive and ok situation got sorted 😅
How did you guys ever get together???? I mean you work so well but the conversation about blunt vs delicate flower only happened after you got married??
5/5DancesW/Wolves⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I’m definitely just like your wife! Lost someone I was engaged to because of this significant difference no matter how hard we tried to both learn to become more secure. It’s incredibly sad to know that with more help from a couple like you, we could have probably made it! I’m so happy to see you’ve been successful!! God is good!!
This is like my wife and I…
I never hit anyone but you guys sound like us. I still don't like female meetings and don't know how to act or talk to blend in 🤷♀️
33yr old Wallflower dude here
You're what most women want in a husband