Defunctland: The History of the Worst SeaWorld Ride, Submarine Quest
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 พ.ค. 2021
- In this episode, Kevin explores the history of SeaWorld San Diego's short-lived ~dark~ ride, the failed Submarine Quest.
Buy Defunctland T-Shirts:
teespring.com/stores/defunctland
Donate on Patreon:
/ defunctland
Facebook Group:
/ defunctland-1142494142...
Defunctland Twitter:
/ defunctland
Defunctland Subreddit:
/ defunctland
For more great content, visit defunctland.com
#meetthedeep
You know you’ve screwed up when Legoland has actual fish in their ride and you don’t, and the name of your theme park is literally Sea World.
True observation, but I honestly think SeaWorld would have been skewered if they had live animals. Not sure how Legoland got away with it.
@@andrearosario8512 most fish are not as sapient as mammals?
Also there's an irony in that Merlin Entertainment actually gives a shit about their animals.
@@cattibingo I wouldn’t call it an issue of sapience. Orcas just don’t handle captivity all that well. The fish present at Legoland handle captivity much better in comparison, so once they’re used to the presence of the ride, they live a fairly low stress life. Getting fish used to things is actually a much bigger part of aquariums than some people realize, be it feeding schedules, checkups, or guests. Sorry, I realize I got a bit off topic.
@@andrearosario8512 people care more about orcas than crabs I guess
You can feel the soulless powerpoints that led to this
In Ben Stein Voice: "Now if you would direct your attention to slide 52c, you will see the graph representing the entertainment per rider sigma value that we calculated using the formula outlined in appendix 3 section 2."
@@drosera88 The investors were shown a graph of the riders' entertainment going up. Unknown to them, the graph was actually flipped upside down.
@@drosera88 nah they weren't that precise
You can just tell some middle manager in this design construction used the word “synergy”
Where dozens of guests waited minutes
God I love that they essentially said, with no prompting, "hey guys this ride isn't gonna let you harpoon the animals in our aquariums"
Tbf I wouldn't put it past seaworld...
Would’ve been a better ride
There must have been some idiot manager somewhere who thought that’s what it was going to be when he heard “dark ride”. Then when he was told it wouldn’t be, he insisted they specify that in the press release
@@MikehMike01 I'm a little upset that I can't disagree with you here.
I'm guessing that they were afraid that people would assume that it was a shooting thing if they led with "it's an interactive dark ride", since that's what most interactive dark rides are.
Why not make a dark ride that travels through an actual aquarium? I'm 25 and I would ride that. It's unique and probably actually fun for all ages.
The Seas at Epcot at Disney World does that! It has a tunnel that goes through the aquarium, and instead of being on a tablet, there's animations projected so they look like they're in the real aquarium. It's pretty cool.
Ripley aquarium near me has a super slow automatic floor old people can stand on in a water tunnel. It's cool looking but slow and full of babies and seniors though. I prefer the dark places though
And it's not predictable either. You could ride it twice in the same day and you'd never see the same things twice since the animals in the tanks are always doing something different each time.
Totally! Like those walkthrough aquariums! I'd ride that!
It's not exactly a dark ride but the aquarium in Houston has a tunnel ride that goes through the shark tank. There's also a fake shark that shoots water at riders
This ride was the equivalent of giving kids an ipad while in a movie theater.
Pffffft, perfect way to put it
Or they can download better games instead
Except the movie theater had no roof or walls, and the seats moved at 1 mph through the parking lot.
@@chris-hayes A drive-in where the cars keep moving.
Native San Diegan and proud former SeaWorld employee and even I can’t find anything redeemable about this. You would have been better off taking the iPad in the theater option.
When the most well-received ride of your new land is a SWING RIDE, you know you built a pretty sucky new land.
Swing rides are great though. If I'm building a theme park, day one, swing ride, guaranteed hit and guest sponge.
@@DunnCarnage One of my favorite flat rides for sure.
Hey, I love swing rides!
Edit: I might have jumped the gun on this comment, sorry about that. 😅
@GamerBear Yeah because they're great.
They're not saying swing rides are bad, they're saying that they are run-of-the-mill and standard.
08/15
I feel it's really sad and telling that "improve animal welfare" was the SECOND option in response to a documentary exposing animal abuse at SeaWorld.
It's cheaper to unleash a salvo of PR strikes than to actually fix problems.
Well yeah if they actually cared about animal welfare, they wouldn't be an *amusement park*, they'd be a zoo/aquarium that provides a home for animals that wouldn't survive in the wild- either mentally or physically- or are part of captive breeding programs. Then they do animal shows to help fund the venture and provide enrichment to their residents. If the leadership of SeaWorld ever actually cared about the animals, Blackfin never would have needed to expose them. The only way SeaWorld would change their tune would be through a forceful change in leadership, replacing them with people from the actual zoo industry.
Haven't watched the documentary but I can imagine they exaggerated lots of shit or just straight up made up most of it, people get completely riled up when you clip a dog's ears so can't imagine how much bullshit was spouted in the documentary so I don't exactly blame them.
@@jojoprocess2820 5 people died it's not "made up"
@@jojoprocess2820 Well yeah, cause clipping a dog's ears is needless animal abuse in most cases.
"this was only a problem when the ride was operating" is the most insane back handed compliment ever.
"He's only abusive when he's sober" -The Matchmaker song in Fiddler on the Roof I'm pretty sure
There's something so pitiable about the fact no one knows for sure when Submarine Quest closed. It's like it died in its apartment, and people only found out months later after burglars broke in to steal the tv.
Nah, the landlord finds out when the rent is late
This is weirdly specific, and extremely accurate LOL
I haven't seen that analogy before but I will definitely use it.
Fucking hell, not sure you can bury an attraction harder than that.
More like “Only found when its smell and flies slowly seep into neighboring apartments”.
This must be one of the saddest rides I’ve ever seen. They’re literally trying to distract you with an iPad.
Which are best used in direct sunlight, of course
@@0v_x0 That's why they make the screens extra glossy.
@@SgtZima
That surface is excellent when you want to check your makeup.
@@NickanM Or to check if you were drooling after waking from your nap.
Love these comments
11:09 I laughed way too hard at that. So anticlimactic. A shift from the cool deep sea theme to blinding sunlight and concrete. It would be sad if I wasn't so busy laughing.
l.m.a.o
It was more of a mental and physical flashbang
Imagine geting Taiyokened on a goddamn dark ride lmfao
The inspirational music followed by the dodo music really brought the whole moment home. Hilarious
“The Eel from a discontinued ice show at Busch Gardens” how do people figure this stuff out lol
You can enable the developer settings panel at any church if you ask a priest. Under that menu its, enable pedantic captions.
Just check with your partner first, reading their real emotions is a double edged sword...
They promised those children an epic dark ride, but all I saw was...
*CHEAPY* *THE* *CHEAPSKATE*
Is this a spongebob reference?
@@sallystandish7105 Yes. Episode was Krabby Land.
@@MysteryMii I love the krabby land episode
@@sallystandish7105 lhnjjj r
"The children? I don't care about the children! I care about their parents' money!"
- SeaWorld (probably)
"Dozens of people who waited minutes to see the new attraction". This may be my new favorite line.
It’s a pretty savage line. 🤣
@@missmoanypants it's now up there with the Submarine ride was neither a sub nor marine
Sick burn.
There was more salt in this episode than in the ocean.
HEY I WAITED LIKE AN HOUR TO GO ON IT IT WAS ACRUALLY PRETTY DECENT
The failure of the Submarine Quest is actually quite simple...
It's a submarine theme ride in the air.
Submarine quest was neither sub, marine, nor a quest.
Next they'll make a Hindenberg ride under-water.
I wouldn't say its the worst submarine adventure ever though....
@The_Greedy_Orphan oh I know it isn't...
The only way to make a submarine ride in the air make sense is if you give it some kind of fantasy theme and let people look at fairies or aliens or a steampunk themed airship dock.
The clever part about the Lego ride is that the carriage is top-hung supported on a track and dipped below the surface making the viewing windows underwater but all the complicated ride mechanics are above and in the dry. blow a few bubbles around as it decends, fill the tank with things to look at. Brilliant!
Hey, sounds a lot like the original 20,000 leagues under the sea!
They could even add in hydraulics to help tilt the ride vehicle to simulate diving.
Like the 20000 leagues ride at Tokyo DisneySea. Neat.
“Dozens of guests who had waited minutes”
That was the most casual burn I’ve ever heard
OMG HI BILL CYPHER JDJGHFKJHISDUJKWDJDIJWDW
@@KentuckyFriedMantis hi, pathetic human thing
Yellow Dorito
@@dumbumbumbum8649 :(
I'm sorry, I don't quite get how it is a burn ? Because they only waited minutes instead of hours ?
Activists: You're abusing these animals!
Kevin, grabbing the microphone: AND YOUR PHOTOSHOP GAME IS WEAK!
This actually made me burst out laughing thank you!
Seaworld, not giving a shit about their animals or their rides apparently!
This is comment no.1
@@dragongirl89115 they never have and never will. 🤠
WHO’S KEVIN???
Kevin seems legitimately annoyed with this one, I feel like he actually went on this ride once.
Personally I feel like seaworld just has that effect on people.
@@tacocat318 They piss off everyone (especially people who like Orcas-like ME)
Never rode it, but it sounds like one of the rides of all time. It had seats, movement, and ran on a track. It was certainly an attraction.
It even had eeeeeeels!
Bahaha😝
This was a very funny joke the first time people said it
SeaWorld just needs to close already. It’s a relic of lazy Western corporate blah.
@@Awesomeasumpta13eeeeels, honey!
“Let’s go under the sea!” Immediately opens door to 100 F California summer heat and drags you outside.
LMAO underrated comment
you mean 100F Louisiana summer, come on, its like being under the ocean with all your sweat.
Poopee
I just wanted you to know that I have work in the morning but instead I'm laughing my ass off at your comment
never 100 at Mission Bay, rarely reaches 80. I used to own a small boat, even on July 4th for Sea World fireworks we often had to wear jackets or have a blanket. But the main point - outside "underwater" ride - is pretty dumb. I guess it's too risky to have built a fully enclosed 'tube ride' with screens and moving animals like Disneyland would have. That would be like a submarine. Seemed like wayyyy too much focus on the touch screen aspect. I guess the pitch was "kids love their tablets and phone!! . Forget about showing a realistic animatronic octopus 3 feet away, that's so 1960's"
That Legoland ride is definitely a direct slap in the face for Seaworld
Seaworld: Submarine ride with game
Legoland: ACTUAL SUBMARINE RIDE WITH REAL FISH AND LEGO FIGURES!
Seaworld: 👁👄👁
It almost seems too good to be a Legoland ride.
I honestly gotta give them credit. They managed to please fans and also troll Seaworld. That's pretty impressive
@@willywonka3050 you better take back that Legoland disrespect right now or I'll scatter 2x4 bricks all over your house
@@SuperNuclearUnicorn I was a huge legoland fan when I was younger, and the park was in better shape. But the park is sadly in a state of slow decay because the rides and decorations aren’t getting maintained enough.
As someone who rode Deep Sea Adventures at Legoland, let me tell you it was incredible. There were fish everywhere and they all seemed so peaceful and curious. They didn't really go up to the submarine but they didn't care either. They just idly swam wherever they wanted to with no regard for the massive metal things that plodded through their territory. The submarines were going slow enough that even if they hit a fish the fish would be startled at most. It was such a relaxing enjoyable experience and I pity the people who rode Submarine Quest instead of this masterpiece
I rode it relatively recently, it was something I doubt Submarine Quest could have ever achieved
That sounds very nice
I wish you didnt need a child to enter legoland
I'm an adult who played with Legos as a kid, and I'd happily go to a Lego themed amusement park but the impression I get from Legoland is that the whole park is geared exclusively towards the younger than 13 demographic (and accompanying family) and that there's nothing for childless adults or thrill seekers. Is that your experience?
@@FatherTime89as someone who’s been to legoland, absolutely. i once went on a trip with extended family when i was 17, and the most excitement i had was watching the kids get excited haha. that being said, the lego sculptures are really neat! and lego sealife is also pretty cool too 👍
@@marcostheblinkedscout1309you don’t, only the discovery centres require a child. And they’re basically just themed chuck-e-cheese, not really worth your time if you’re an adult
I remember going to Sea World in 2016. Saw that huge orca in what seems like a gigantic aquarium to us, but is merely a pond to him (or her). The tank was completely empty. Nothing in it to even try to decorate, just blue walls. No rocks, toys, plants (even fake) or whatnot.
And the orca just endlesly swimming in circles from one end to the other.
I swore to myself that day I would never ever give any money back to Seaworld, and I'm planning on fulfilling that pledge.
I remember going to Sea World on a school field trip in 2004. We got to spend the night and sleep inside the Shark exhibit. At the time I thought it was pretty cool but now looking back I feel bad for those poor Sharks being in that little enclosure, and also they made us dissect a baby squid and pull out it's ink sack. One cool thing about that trip was that I got to ride on "Journey To Atlantis" a week before it officially opened to the public. I haven't been to Sea World since and I probably won't be going back anytime soon.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure all of SeaWorld's orcas are gone by this point.
i used to go to seaworld almost all the time in the summer when i was a little kid and looking back on the memories, it seems like the set for a horror movie. just IMAGINING the animals swimming or walking lazily and miserably gives me goosebumps. thank god we stopped going.
"I think orcas require the same level of enrichment as human children, because I am a braindead bleeding heart who is vulnerable to emotional manipulation by CNN smear pieces and don't bother to do any actual research before I boycott things"
Utter clownery.
@The French on the hill “relax, take a deep breath”
"Let's bolt an iPad to a ride car. "
"But won't the iPad distract people from the ride?"
"Now you're getting it!"
It's like some idiot executive thought "Kids like the ipads, put one on a ride!" with no thought as to how it'd actually improve things.
If they were trying to seem "high tech," why not do something actually interesting with said tech? Give the kids cameras attached to the cart and have them take pictures of sealife as they pass by to "document" them and have the computer award points via image recognition like a real-life Pokemon Snap.
@@ToastyMozart That actually sounds really cool. If that Nintendo Land thing is still around, maybe that's something they could do, if they haven't done it already.
@@ToastyMozart An actual great idea for a ride from a TH-cam viewer. It’s not a good look for a company with this much resources.
@@anSealgair I read that comment and actually went “YEEESSSS”
Okay, now you can actually make this an immersive totally black shoot em up dark ride using cameras instead of guns. That would be incredible. Can’t believe they didn’t consider it.
@@elizabethhicks4181 Amazing how a couple random people on TH-cam can come up with a much better ride than a boardroom full of executives.
i love how the lego park designers completed roasted sea world by saying “hey remember that submarine ride? let’s do that, but make it actually good”
Walt Disney did the same thing with Submarine Voyage. In the late 1950s, Walt Disney was furious that CBS was trying to get into the amusement park game with the Pacific Ocean Park after he originally went to them to help fund Disneyland in 1953, saying they didn’t want to be associated with something that sounded low-class as a Coney Island clone. CBS’s POP was creating a submarine walkthrough based on the USS NAUTILUS, but a modern version, not the one from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
In response, Walt Disney created Submarine Voyage with 8 actual submarines, produced by one of the world’s leading submarine shipyards. So, during the Cold War, Walt Disney had the 10th largest submarine fleet in the world and they were all stuck on a track in a small lagoon in his amusement park.
I am a fan of stealing ideas to do them right when the original source can't be bothered.
@@welcomefire Basically fanfiction and fanart in a nutshell. Source material didn't do it, so we will damnit.
Sounds appropiate; they did the same with the Star Wars prequels!
I do remember the lego star wars videogames being better than the prequels, yes.
It's depressing and laughable how these companies with multi-million dollar projects always seem to end up with results that look like the discount version of what they promise.
Not always! Universal Studios has been really stepping it up when it comes to new rides. Hagrid’s Motorbike and Velocicoaster were both EXACTLY what was promised if not even BETTER.
Every now and then, a ride looks as good as its marketing pictures and video. Even Seaworld can deliver quite well with certain rides (Primarily their coasters), and that includes their subsidiaries (Mainly Busch Gardens and Aquatica).
With that said, I'll still never know what kind of weed they were smoking when they made this ride, I have no idea what possessed them to make such a laughable, low budget ride themed towards submarines when you're in the dry Southern California sun.
@@kaylasilverstein4137 I was sad when they removed Dragon Challenge, but after seeing the ads and commercials, and then the POV's on TH-cam for Hagrid's Motorbike Coaster, I knew it was going to be a worthy replacement. I still have yet to ride it, so I hope I can get onto a single rider line or have an Express Pass because of how bad those lines get 😂.
Micheal Eisner moment
Sea World perfectly recreated Mr.Krabs kids playground from that one episode, you know the one.
Krabby Land to be exact
@@sharkinator7819 thank you for mentioning it, i remember watching it forever ago and sometimes it would come up in my mind but i never knew what it was called
Kevin's unimpressed monotone was working overtime this episode
😂😂😂
King of deadpan
Eeeeeeels
Kevin is _scathing_ today
They need to start executing charlatans. This ride is a scam and nothing else.
SeaWorld ride developers: "We're called SeaWorld right? So how about we put people underwa-"
Joel Manby: *"PUT EM' 15 FEET IN THE AIR AND TELL EM' TO PLAY A MOBILE GAME."*
Yeah, the screen stuff makes it look like a gimmick to distract from how unspectacular everything else is.
I don't understand how they could shell this out without thinking that maybe people would want to go see real fucking fish instead of a bunch of screens in broad daylight.
U forgot in the blazing hot sunlight becoz the ocean is about the sunlight
@@lunahetfield I mean, if it was a "shallow" portion or something, might work, but not whatever the hell it actually ended up being.
Is that a british tank reference?
I can't imagine a more horrible submarine experience than this.
Are you absolutely sure about that?
Yeah your comment didn't age well with that titanic sub happening a week later lol
This comment aged well
I can imagine at least one...
@@twizzm.That was mercifully short.
I never thought I could get secondhand embarrassment from a theme park ride but here we are.
I'm so used to Defunctland being about old attractions and parks that them mentioning Covid hit me like a slap to the face.
With how massively the parks industry as a whole was affected, it was inevitably gonna come up in one of these. I just didn't expect it to be so soon
Time marches on, failures continue to this day.
Not to mention PETA’s deathblow to SeaWorld.
Let's hope that in a few years it will sound even weirder and more dated!
Too real
Props to Kevin for waiting for the perfect moment to reveal the absolute insanity of setting a deep sea ride in the open air. I was just as wonderfully baffled as the guests likely were.
Nothing says deep sea more than a car ride under the sun
They could've just gone with the Emerald City approach and handed all riders blue-lensed sunglasses.
I mean it'd be cool if they set it up to contrast our normal everyday life under the sun versus the cold dark depths. But no they just put two t.v.s in elaborate stands and looped a CAMOUFLAGED octopus
“Dozens of guests who waited *minutes* casually walked inside….” Bro, you are a wordsmith!
I think the weirdest thing about the added game feature is that it would have you looking down and away from all the sights that the ride featured. Seems like a lot of the budget went into something that could have been a stationary activity.
And all of that into what basically ended up as a shitty video game. It feels like something where they spent tons of money and time reinventing the wheel when an actual video game developer coulda farted it out in couple of months, and would probably actually listen to playtester feedback.
"Guests began their expedition into the majesty of the deep, blue... *blinding sunlight."*
I'm dead LMFAO 🤣🤣🤣
So are Sea World's shares.
Lolol
Truly baffling ride design. I've never thought about how jarring this would be because... people just don't do this.
UTA!
@@mariic2 😭
It is quite sad, as the idea of turning SeaWorld into a more ride-oriented park was not a bad idea. Just horribly demonstrated
Compelling attractions are expensive propositions, which is a difficult hill to climb when your company is in dire straits. Can't really even count on corporate sponsorships when you have a very public image problem.
I agree, the one time I went to SeaWorld for a school field trip everyone in my group we're too scared of going on actual rides, so we just saw animal shows, and it was the worst theme park experience of my life. The food was good
There are more good ideas than bad ones. Its just not often enough that the people with the power to execute these ideas manage to succeed.
It's also a shame as there were some good components but the overall experience was just too fundamentally flawed. I agree with their decision that combining screen-focus and fast rollercoasters isn't a good idea (motion sickness, competing for attention, etc), but I think I would have gone for some kind of capsule with video screens and tilt control, like a plane simulator or, if possible, some hybrid of that that also enables seeing some actual sea life. As this video pointed out, bright sunshine was never going to make for an immersive (and screen-driven) experience and fixing that would require putting the whole thing at a box, and even that might not give enough content to make the ride good.
The CEO had the right idea to turn Sea World from an outdated animal prison into a theme park with rides. SeaWorld has to re-invent itself for modern times.
Bro, Knotts Berry farm did a ride similar to this, a steam punk ocean themed dark ride. And let me tell you it was so, so much fun! There were robotic sea creatures, steampunk aliens to shoot, and it was an *ACTUAL* dark ride! Step it up SeaWorld, step it up.
That was Voyage to the Iron Reef. It was rethemed to Knott's Beary Tales in honor of Knott's 100th anniversary in 2021.
@deanfinder5195 ahhh thank you! It's been several years since I went, so I couldn't remember the name. Still, it was loads of fun! (Did they ever change it back to Voyage of the Iron Reef? Or is it still Knott's Beary Tales?)
@@wonderlandiousIt's still Knotts Beary Tales. And annoyingly, they changed the guns from a standard trigger to the Toy Story Mania style Cannon pull...thing. In my opinion, that kills the ride more ways than one.
@Valhalla05 Damn it Knotts, ya had a good thing going with that ride! Yuck, way to take the fun factor out of the guns :(
This makes Jungle Cruise look like an actual tour of the jungle.
Hey, at least that ride gives what it promises.
Imagine if instead of going through a jungle, the whole ride took place in a dark tunnel instead.
@@DarkOverlord96A dark tunnel with generic jungle paintings on the walls and miniature figures of elephants, hippos, and lions.
The fact that seaworld had to go out of their way to say “no you will not be trying to murder the animals on the new ride” really says something about the public’s view on Seaworld
It’s damn sad
because they pussed out. They could have spent money on making a better environment for the orcas and they could have fought the ocean board's demand. Instead they kowtowed because of a bunch of whaleaboos
@@TheChoujinVirus They always treated their Orcas in general like absolute trash. Hell if oyu look into it you'll find out how they even managed to get the Orcas in the first place which is actually depressing.
@@Jonathan-fb1kj yeah man
@Olivia 757 Same. I’ve been to Busch Gardens Williamsburg and I completely forgot they were owned by the same company. I like Busch a lot and I hope at some point they can branch off from Seaworld.
Can you imagine waiting 2 hours and 10 minutes for “Eeeels.”
Seriously. Those things looked like tapeworms in teal.
@@alexah3256 Teeeeeeals
Findin' an entrance where they can. Eels. 🎹
@@alexah3256 tappppeeeeewwwwwoooorrrrmmmmssss
nobody nose loool
After the other submarine mishaps we've been having lately, I'm actually glad this submarine ride was in the open air.
I mean, could you even call that thing a submarine?
Shoutout to the guy who filmed the ride, 10/10 best ride commentary ever
How the hell does a Lego theme park do a better submarine ride than a theme park that prides itself as an ocean conservation company?
Money. Lots and lots of money, better engineers and better project management. Also, maybe looking at nearby failures of a similar concept and doing the opposite.
I’m guessing Legoland actually had many more resources to pull this off since Lego as a company wasn’t hemorrhaging money and goodwill at the time. It also helps that they could have made some adjustments late in development based on Submarine Quest which opened a year earlier but construction was probably underway before SQ opened.
They could've made a submarine ride and call it a day
Because Legoland is a far bigger and more renown park then Sea World
@@Lightwolf234 in the theme park world no, but the company and capital behind the park (lego) is a lot larger and more powerful
"It was neither sub, nor marine, as it was 15 feet up in the open air." Brutal.
Pfft, who wants to be under water? Fish pee in the water! Do you want to be in fish pee? Of course not. The solution is to have the ride as far from water as possible!
@@Shenaldrac at least in the water you're safe from breathing in people's farts and recycled air. 😟 I'd rather deal with fish pee than the rest.
No, it is sub. Sub-quality.
I feel bad for Bubble Guy, the opening was supposed to be his big break, now its a dark mark on his record.
They should've sold T-Shirts at the end of the ride that said:
"Yes, I boarded Submarine Quest!
Yes, i was very disappointed!"
"I rode Submarine Quest and all I got was this stupid shirt"
Obsessed with the super sarcastic dad filming who keeps making silly comments and pans the camera down just to show himself pressing the blue button after the door is already open
“Wow look at this amazing experience that cannot be replicated” a man to aspire to be
A true man of culture.
not that funny.
@@Aria432 583 people disagree with you
he's lmg vids on youtube
11:34
“That octopus was totally camouflaged!”
Yes, octopi have a special stealth mechanism where they use the glare from the blinding sunlight to keep you from seeing them on the TV screen
Evolution!
I see, so that's why you usually see both tentacles and mysterious blinding light camouflaging girls in anime.
Those japanese animators sure know their marine biology !
@@HerrHick Every goddamn comment even tangentially involving tentacles or tentacled animals, and some variation on this fucking comment gets made!
I'm not mad, just in awe. Ok, maybe a little mad.
@@jamesharding3459 I find it irritating. Not all anime is hentai, guys.
@@timothymclean But a lot is
The fact that this is something that happened only 5 years ago and not much earlier (like I thought) really adds a touch of bizareness this.
Same! I thought this was going to be some 20yr old ride
This has to be one of the funniest episodes of Defunctland
12:50
They could've saved all the money from the ride and just had a stage where the parade eel danced around
A wild Jenny Nicholson appeared! Hello!
Maybe they could've even brought the bubble guy in to join the eel... then again, there probably wouldn't have been enough room in the budget for both.
Maybe they spent the scenery budget on a black market animatronic pilot boy character.
Would love Parade Eel DIY video
I don't know why I'm surprised to see you here. I really shouldn't be.
I have never designed a ride or marketed a ride and I’m 100% confident I could have made a better sea world ride.
We all could
LMAO
literally anyone who played rollercoaster tycoon can design a better ride
Right? Slap a big fish tank in the middle of a traditional large dark room ride, put something in the middle of the tank to block the view to the other side while still allowing the fish to move freely, then just make a clover leaf shaped track that takes you out to fluorescent reef & shipwreck scenes in the corners, and turns back in to each side of the same tank dressed a little differently on each side. THAT easy. Cue the swelling orchestral music as you "dive in" to the room from the outside, and "surface" again as you exit. Put some baby entertainment in line cue so folks know what they're getting into, have some fake interactive Blue Clues style character on the iPad. DONE. It wouldn't have even been to far outside of the scope of the carny company they hired for this abomination.
I have done it dozens of times. It's really not that hard ( _granted they were all in Rollercoaster Tycoon_ ) but my guests were very happy damnit!
I wouldn’t be surprised if the original idea was a shoot em up’ ride featuring all of Seaworld’s most famous Orcas.
SeaWorld presents "SPEAR THE INNOCENT!"
Thats so wild! I WORKED THERE at the Skytower at Seaworld San Diego from 2017-2019 during the entire building, testing, and subsequent constant breakdowns and eventual shutdown of that god forsaken ride. I remember the day the ride opened up and they let employees be the first to test the ride and it only was operational maybe 1, 1.5 hours. Also the stories the mechanics told about the lawsuit and accident were INSANE!
I know I am very late to the party here, but I can attest as a former employee that there was DEFINITELY some form of injury that was the final nail in the coffin for Submarine Quest. I only have my personal memory and my talks with the company mechanics and the photos they may or may have not have taken of damage to the cars.
So what happened?
I don't think I've ever laugh this hard at a Defunctland episode. Like, this was _peak_ sarcasm and I can't get enough
"The next zone was the sunlight zone, where guests saw _EEEEEELS_ "
Link: OoOoOoOoH, EeEeEeEeEeLs
My personal favorite was "... casually walked inside the new world of exploration, discovery, and conservation- by apparently immediately trampling the plants due to lack of fencing."
@@xenoncantread Press F for those plants T.T
EEEeeEeELss
EEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSS
It's funny that an amusement park based around aquatic life's ride got shown up by a submarine ride for an amusement park on based around toys. It's like if Sea World had better lego dioramas than Legoland itself.
I think the whole aquarium in SD Legoland is actually really cool. I've gone to the aquarium and skipped the actual amusement park on several occasions. They're doing something right there IMO. Probaby because that Legoland branding is so established as opposed to SeaWorld which seems to be floundering (haha).
"an amusement park based around toys" is such an incredibly bad, idiotic and disrespectful description of Legoland.
@@MuscarV2 It's a land of legos, which are toys. I love legos but it's an apt description
@@MuscarV2 it's overgeneralizing but essentially correct. It's a park designed for amusement based around toys and is run by a corporation which makes that line of toys and wants to get as many people as possible to buy those toys by using a myriad of marketing methods and mediums with a bottom line of making money off of Marcus.
@@hollowneedles Actually, the Legoland parks are not run by Lego. They are run by Merlin Entertainment, who have rights to use the Lego name. They also operate all the Sealife centers around the world, which is why they were able to produce a quality aquatic ride at most of the Legoland parks.
I would like to imagine the water spraying effect wasn’t something they added. “What do you mean the guests keep getting sprayed? Uh oh.”
“Up to this point, SeaWorld’s main response to the outcry had been to attack the documentary, the filmmakers, and the interviewees, but this only made matters worse, so the company pivoted to improving the living conditions of its orcas.”
You don’t say, huh?
I want to see an adult version of this ride where you get on a US Navy attack submarine, only to have it leave the harbor and grind its way over dry land while you frantically tap buttons to see if you can launch your thermonuclear missiles while that annoying paper clip from Microsoft Office keeps asking if you need some help. It'd be the greatest ride ever.
Nuclear missiles on an attack sub? Nah.
Underrated
And then Phil Swift comes and challenges you to a battle to see if you can sink his Flex Tape boat
"It looks like you're trying to launch an ICBM. Would you like help?"
I'm 10000% in support of an entirely parody themed amusement park.
The entire park could just be a beautiful nightmare of amazing clusterfuck rides like that.
The entertainment would come from both the abstract weirdness of the rides and the mockery of the failings of other parks.
Damn bro they really moved all their money to a set of rides based off of saving animals instead of actually just doing it 💀
Let's save animals! By making more money!!!
They do. It’s called SeaWorld Cares. Shame the blue world project was contingent on them discontinuing the breeding program. Otherwise the current orca generation at sea world could have a much better swimming area instead of the money being spent on rides. Orca breeding would’ve been banned a few years later anyway.
@@atch300 i don’t mean this in a rude way but you have to be stupid to think that an orca can live in any form of captivity. These are animals that swim for miles on end, they migrate seasonally too, they swim around the whole globe. No tank would be enough. It is absolutely not a shame that they were forced to stop breeding, it is a blessing and they should have been forced to halt their business model completely. It is impossible to build a tank in which orca’s could live happily. Also trust me when i say this: any charity done by big companies or rich people is to get tax cuts and to make themselves look better, the money they spend now on conservation initiatives will never balance out the damage that they have done and they never intended for it to do real good in the first place. It‘s a PR move, nothing more.
There's a reason why most people rank SeaWorld as one of the most vile corporations in all of the US if not the entire planet, they're exploitative bastards that couldn't care less about the welfare of their animals and only care about how much money they can rake out of them.
@Elfonzo Huberticus i do, that's why I'm never going to sea world
The sheer monotone voice laid with occasional sarcasm just makes this perfection.
I still have no idea what they were thinking having the ride be in the daylight instead of just having it be a dark ride all the way through
They were thinking cheaper because you don’t have to air condition the whole thing.
They were the dudes who invented putting "PERIOD" at the end of desperate comments.
I love how Kevin is always riding the lines between documentary, storytelling and shitposting
And damn he does it perfectly
@None None because it's entertaining? I don't live my life hating the world?
A powerful rat named CHALES ENTERTAINMENT CHEESE.
didnt see any shitpost, also 6:09 fortnite harpoon gun
@@thejonguy3248 hehe.... chales
Love the fact that there are rumors someone died on this. what would they die from? being sandblasted by an octopus?
Link's voice causing the guest to go insane and punch a hole in the touchscreen to make the bad noises stop.
Their last thoughts were, "I want to get off Mr Bone's Wild Ride."
Ismail XD
Boredom? Or maybe sun stroke?
They sat in the top left seat and got unlucky
“Dozens of guests who had waited for minutes causally walked inside”
Most brutal take down in one sentence I’ve ever seen
The reveal hit me like a brick covered in lemon juice. Up to that point I thought “wait, it’s underwater and goes by animals. That sounds incredible. How could it go wrong?”
Oh how naive I was…
At least Sea World knows when they have a bad ride on their hands. Universal is gonna have that Fast and the Furious ride for another 15 years.
God help us all
What you don't like screens and reused footage from a bus tour?
Turn down for what
*insert ride vehicle appearing in the queue.
They should just shutdown the ride part and just keep the queue open for tours.
“ride”
This ride existed from 2017-2018, well into the era of social media and smartphone cameras, yet nobody knows exactly when it closed. That alone tells you all you need to know about how much of a crap people gave about this thing.
For that matter, we don't even know for sure if it DID last into 2018.
@TransCube how is that tribute video going?
I'm impressed it could rack up such long wait times, when I can't imagine most park goers had any interests in going on the ride (especially without young kids). But I guess that's what happens when it apparently is only sending in 15-20 people at a time lol.
@@bernlin2000 maybe people wanted to ride to see how bad/boring it was.
Maybe it was because Seaworld had a horrible reputation at the time.
So nice that Tommy Tallerico let them borrow the karma game engine for the touchscreen game! I'm sure his mother's very proud.
Update, they have now taken down the ride and replaced it with a grassy field for picnics and sitting
definetly an improvement
"the deep, blue...blinding sunlight"
that made me actually burst out laughing
I guess they tunneled so deep that they reached the fucking Mantle.
11:12
its meme worthy
@@tiagoferreira400 Maybe just the picture without the audio
I facepalmed when I got to that part of the video. The designers didn't think socal sunlight might be a problem with screen glare and the atmospheric clash?
The fact that they cancelled a project that would have at least tried to improve the living conditions of the orcas in their care for that cheap mess is just sad.
They could invest in an ocean sanctuary like Merlin Entertainment or Baltimore Aquarium; but no, that would cost...a few million dollars, and possibly reduce park attendance. They could improve the pools, but no, that would cost tens or hundreds of millions. So they've chosen to do absolutely nothing to improve the conditions of their orcas, condemning them to live in the same mediocre conditions for decades, until their deaths. (Much of this also goes for the countless dolphins, beluga, and pinnipeds at the parks, too).
Considering that SeaWorld prides itself as a conservation organization, yet spends less than 5% of profits on conservation activities, it ought not to come as a surprise that their shareholders are all that matters to the company.
exactly. and frankly all the outrage was overblown. Remember Willy. well the orca that played him got ill and died. IN THE WILD. Sea world should have improved conditions and kept the breeding program. it's what ,made it different then other parks.
@@Revkor idk I’d rather die in my own home and be sick instead of dying in a concrete box with nothing to live for
@@Revkor The conditions for the Orcas were cruel and could never be as healthy as the wild. Yes some poor Orcas had been trapped so long they couldn't return to the wild and should be cared for but the breeding program had to stop
@@randomperson8703 sorry man I think the expansion should have been allowed and no breeding means they take from the wild. the program is the lesser evil
this being on my recommended is strangely apt
21:13 this man has a golden sense of humor. If all terrible rides had narration like his, I would actually enjoy riding them.
It's like that episode of Ed, Edd, n Eddy where they build a fake rocket ride for the neighborhood kids that "goes around the world," only to have the Eds on the sidelines showing terribly-drawn landscapes on a sideways treadmill
That would have probably been a superior experience to this.
Atleast the Ed’s are a bunch of kids with whatever they had around the neighborhood and it’s impressive. This is a theme park with billions on hand. Idk what there’s excuse.
The funniest part is that was based on an actual amusement park ride (I think Kevin talked about it in his Coney Island episode).
@@ihvojd There’s no excuse
Best comment. But at least the edds would have charged only 50 cents for the ride
The fact that the part of the ride meant to be the Twilight zone of the ocean, which has NO coral and really no plant life whatsoever, is shown with a bunch of fake coral.. well it sure is something
It's almost as if the people making the ride were totally disconnected from the subject of the ride.
Like "let's put some cars on a track and pull random buzzwords from a hat and insert shoddy examples of that... Or whatever..."
Goes to show how little these people actually care about marine life!
Actually there is coral that lives in the mesophotic zone which is basically a part of what is colloquially known as the twilight zone. There is little known about the coral, however, so making a ride with them in it is pretty foolish, if you ask me.
Coral reefs are famous for not needing sunlight for their zooxanthellae. A poor fit for the twilight zone, a worse fit for The Twilight Zone, yet oddly apt for the twilight zone in The Twilight Zone.
@@timothymclean An alternate world where the bottoms of the oceans are intensely lit, and the surface is always dark would be an interesting setting. I am now writing this down in my collection of ideas I will never use.
These are my favorite lines from Kevin: "By apparently immediately trampling the plants due to lack of fencing." "Guests began their expedition into the majesty of the deep blue, blinding sunlight." Since I live in California, I can understand the blinding sunlight problems and they really should have placed fences around the area so that toddlers wouldn't have to trample over the plants.
9:18 "Dozens of guests who had waited minutes"
Damned by faint praise.
"The first show scene is supposed to show the twilight zone, a place so deep that no sunlight can reach it. SeaWorld of course decided to represent this with a coral reef in broad daylight with screens occasionally displaying an octopus"
This is especially bizarre because coral reefs need sunlight to survive. Doing the coral as an outside set piece like that could work on it’s own, but turning around and claiming it’s the twilight zone?!
So much for teaching kids marine biology
@@evamiller4886 I taught better marine biology by screaming obscenities while extracting small, angry crabs from a little tank behind the children's learning lab at the true lord of the dance of San Diego aquariums: Birch Aquarium at Scripps.
@@Distorteddesignshop I really appreciate this description of Scripps. Thank you.
@@evamiller4886 Actually, there is actually coral reefs going into the abyssal zone, known as deep-water coral. So having coral in the twilight zone(Which BTW is defined as starting at the depth where only 1% of sunlight penetrates and ends at the point where no sunlight penetrates, meaning it isnt actually a place no sunlight reaches) is perfectly valid. However, they are 1: rarely that viberant and 2: not in broad daylight usually.
@@Daedwartin2 Wow, that’s amazing! I had no idea. Although I don’t think the exhibit does a good job of conveying that idea either, even though it could be a way to get other adults interested and learning too...
I remember a while back a POV TH-cam video on this ride. After it was over, I thought, "God! That is horrible!" But I thought it was for a ride in Orlando's Sea World.
You got it.
I've watched this video so many times and it never fails to amaze me at how Seaworld thought this ride was going to fly with people.
I think they were really convinced that the touchpad video game would blow their minds.
In Japanese, there is a term, “Kodomo-damashi”, which refers to badly made entertainment or illusions. It literally means “child-fooler (or child-fooling), and this seems perfect here.
Weeb
@@beavis2678 No, I’m just Japanese
@@e5858 Weeb
@E Kinda reminds me of the phrase Kuso-Ge which literally means “Shit Game”
After this ride opened, everyone was saying "Omae wa mou shindeiru" which means "You are already dead"
Isn't it sad that Legoland can make a better underwater submarine ride than fucking *SeaWorld?*
Ain't that the truth lol.
Just don't let anyone of SeaWorld's ear hear that, you'll be making cattle runs to Las Vegas til the end of time pal.
you're saying its sad a trillion dollar omega popular company can do better than a company whos constantly protested and hardly visited.. lol
yeah that ride actually looks fun. the submarine cart things seem to be actually partially submerged in water and the fact it has real animals in aquariums that seem to swim up to the ride makes it so immersive. frankly I'm curious how they're able to make that sort of illusion. like is the track actually going through the aquarium, or is there like a glass tube separating the track from the animals.
@@charityquill4965 The lego subs hang from a track in the ceiling, you can see it in the boarding dock shot.
Them reassuring people that the ride wouldn’t be a shoot ‘em up dark ride was so fucking funny. They were so scared of any criticism that they were like “HEY. Okay you WONT be able to harpoon a whale”
"With the realm now open, dozens of guests who had waited minutes for the land's opening casually walked inside..." is literally one of the funniest lines ever delivered on TH-cam and every time we rewatch this it makes us laugh.
Funny how the company that focuses on selling small pieces of plastic ended up doing a better ocean themed dark ride than the ocean themed company
Well, I mean, current trends suggest the ocean IS small pieces of plastic at this point, so there's sort of a common denominator there. ;)
HAHAHHAHAHAHAH HOLY FUCK THIS IS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST COMMENTS IVE EVER SEEN IVE BEEN LAUGHING FOR 10 MINUTES
Fun fact: the aquarium connected to Legoland that makes the ride possible is a fucking amazing aquarium. Despite being very clearly aimed at kids with a scavenger hunt element and talking fish mascots on low quality TV screens, the aquarium features some of the most incredible design I've ever seen. It's small but features a winding, intestinal pathway giving you many great angles of the best tanks. Also it's run by an animal rescue nonprofit so all the profit from merchandise and ticket sales go back into rescuing and rehabilitating a lot of the sealife (and other animals too, when I went they had a snake they were using as an animal ambassador as well and talked about rescuing all sorts of animals because nobody else could) there and then releasing them if they can be released. I went in pessimistic, just expecting a tacky dimly lit look at some small sharks in inhumane condition, but honestly it's just absurd to me how much better of an aquarium Legoland is than SeaWorld lol
god i sound like im trying to sell it to you, i just really really like that aquarium
@@shainecorwin8709 pfahaha, no don't worry, that's really cool! :D thank you for letting us know, i was actually genuinely interested so i appreciate it!
This is literally like that episode of Spongebob where Mr Krabs builds an amusement park.
Jus sums it up right
'I dont care about the children, I just care about their parents money!'
It kinda reminds me of the time my friend Sam Woodward got framed for killing his boyfriend
@@yaboymart3237 ...what?
the only difference being that sea world built it on animal abuse, that’s spot on
20:02 What are we, some kind of defunctland??
Ah ah, he said it! He said it!
That "deep blue...blinding sunlight" bit always gets me 🤣🤣🤣
SeaWorld: Opens submarine ride that fails
Lego: I’m going to pull a pro gamer move
Lego really saw the opportunity and seized it, that's how you do it Seaword.
Even the waiting rooms are better.
That ride slaps
@@frebothegreat4524 Its really good.I remember I went on the Submarine quest.To this day I still remember EEEEEEEEEELS.
It's funny that SeaWorld got outbusted by Lego
Kevin's deadpan delivery is priceless. "Deep. Blue. Blinding Sunlight."
"EEEEEEEEEEEeeeeels."
"Dozens of guests who had waited minutes for the land's opening casually walked inside..."
“WOOOOO EEEEEEEELSSS”
"Dozens of fans who had waited minutes"
I love how they were pushing the ‘It’s fun for the whole family thing!’ Until people said it sucked so they backpedaled and said ‘actually it sucks because it’s a kids ride!’
Ah, so basically they were like "they'll be too busy playing on the tablets to pay attention to anything else." Great job.
Love the sense of comedic timing that guy taking the ride video has.
"PUSH THE BLUE BUTTON TO OPEN THE HATCH!"
The last lines before the credits had me laughing too x]
Also the water cannon that just sprayed the person in the front left of every sub was hilarious x]
@12:20
Also something about how he gives a scathing criticism of the ride without ruining it for the kid he’s with is so cute
@@dharmallars That was truly masterful!
He didn't have a choice the door opened that fkn fast, that's probably how it goes for all riders.
"It was meant for children."
Let me interject here briefly to say 'Fuck that' to that statement. 'For kids' shouldn't translate to 'it's crap with distractions'. As a kid, I loved real immersive rides, that went balls deep into the theme. That underwater ride at Legoland is the perfect example. But because kids' standards are lower due to them not having seen a lot yet, guys like that think it's okay to do the bare minimum to keep them for being downright bored. Should have sent him deep sea exploring with a brick around his ankle. XD
Yup. Kids know a shite ride when they see one. Slug around on a goofy car, stare at a few screens while pounding on an iPad? Oh boy, sign my six year old self up!
"It's A Small World" is meant for kids and it's still a joy to ride after all these years
Walt Disney would have slapped him in the face for saying that shite.
Yes! This excuse if "it's made for kids" is why we have a generation of intellectually stunted, unimaginative, drooling trend sheep for kids. Everything of quality is kept from them.
Just to throw another point in there.
Kids have fortnite on their phones. They don't care about your app game/theme park ride. Its not a selling point in any way shape or form.
I think even if they made a simple enclosure, so the ride would be in the dark, painted sea creatures and beautiful underwater scenes on it and then lit it with a black light things would have been vastly improved.
Mom can we have 20,000 leagues under the sea?
Mom: no we have 20,000 leagues under the sea at home
20,000 leagues under the sea at home:
This video was expertly paced. The whole time I was thinking, "this ride actually sounds really cool, it can't be that bad, right?"
And then the reveal of what the ride ended up actually looking like...
The pacing of this channel's content is truly what makes it special imo.
The Legoland ride is the exact thing the SeaWorld ride promised to be, including an eye spy minigame on screens that's almost identical to the one in the SeaWorld ride. The whole ride is the best kind of plagiarism
@@Danomight Yea that’s why it’s one of my favorite TH-cam channels!
@@shainecorwin8709 plus real sea creatures. So innovative 😆
I am shocked they didn't have some sort of blue screen or tent over the outdoor sections to give it all a blue shade. It would've looked dumb on the outside, but still!