Emotional Numbness Requires Energy and is NOT a Void
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ก.ย. 2024
- Emotional numbness or dissociation is often thought to be a void. It’s perceived as an absence of something. Here, I’d like to shed some light on this misconception. In fact, far from being a void, emotional numbness is an experience which requires an enormous amount of energy to sustain.
◼ Talk with David: www.drdavidmal...
◼ Procrastination Video Course: www.drdavidmal...
◼ Procrastination eBook: www.drdavidmal...
◼ Relationships Video Course: www.drdavidmal...
Thanks for watching. If you enjoy my content, remember to like and subscribe for more.
Dr. David Maloney is a Psychologist and therapist. His has trained in a variety of techniques (person-centered, Gestalt, ACIM, psychodynamic) and works with people on a wide variety of issues. His main areas of expertise are in self-esteem, motivation, and relationships.
When I’m numb, I’m only numb from emotions that are desirable to me: love, joy, feeling moved to tears by something, sadness. These are all healthy emotions that I cherish. When I’m numb to these feelings; all I can feel is the impotent rage and utter despair of being blocked from these other feelings. Not sure if you call this being numb. I call it selective numbness. It’s pure hell.
Same here, it fucking sucks 99% of the time I feel extremely numb to the point where I feel like my personality has vanished since I literally can’t enjoy anything, but as soon as I do feel something, it’s nothing but pure tormenting anxiety or an irritating feeling in my gut, like frustration, it’s a fucking nightmare
@@marioncarbonell6047yep
Hi!! Then it seems like you are kind of lucky. I would just process the negative émotions you are feeling by just surrendering to them and let them be
is this over now? Numbness can be cured?
Omg... that's exactly how it feels. You explained it on point...
The best quote I keep saying " I'm not numb , i numbed myself "....and that realization creates all the difference...it actually shows you are not powerless and out of control....dissociation was a choice whether you made it consciously or unconsciously...and it's only you who will undo this decision...you have to figure out why your subconscious refuse to allow feelings to flow through your heart...?...and start little by little it requires a lot of patience...I can't say I'm fully recovered but I made a significant change..hope you never lose hope🤍🤍
Great comment. Thanks so much!
Hi
It means a lot 🥹
This explains why I am so exhausted when I realize I'm dissociating from the negative emotions at work. Dang.
This answered so many questions.
I didn't know the emotional repression is unconsciously and unnoticeably facilitated.
Very welcome 🙏
Thank you. Listening to this, I felt acknowledged, and felt I was given dignity and not be talked down to as if I haven’t searched for decades about what is happening and why in my mind and body when I shut down from intense negative emotional experiences. You are correct, it’s not a void or nothingness, for myself, it is like a shut off switch that is pre set at a certain point, no emotions can come in and no emotions can go out when the set point has been exceeded.
You are so welcome Brenda. Self compassion is the starting point and is most fundamental 🙏
@@drdavidmaloneypsychotherapy so based off her comment I’m just stuck this way ?
@@drdavidmaloneypsychotherapy???
Really helpful. I've long been hypervigilant, on guard, kind of jailed and looking for where and how can someone support me to break out of this.... therefore everything including body has suffered a lot, almost no-one around understanding it, and actually misunderstanding which develops more issues.... only lately I'm learning to relax, release pressure, detoxify and attend to myself wholly without caring for who sees and says what.... and am getting to feel free, bit stable and guided internally.... and such videos are a great help. Thankyou.
That's beautiful to hear, Neeta. Keep on that healing path. Tend to yourself. Trust yourself, your intuition, and care not how others attempt to interpret your situation.
I appreciate this. Kind of a relief to know its unconscious. Like its not my fault.
This is a lot of useful information and a great way to look at this. The dissociation is one of my biggest challenges right now, so i really appreciate it!
Appreciate your feedback Melody. So glad the content spoke to you as you work through this. A lot of us are working through it.
How do you feel now?
@@drdavidmaloneypsychotherapy your side are antidepressants are safe was deleted.
@@drdavidmaloneypsychotherapy ,
This is one of the best videos I have heard on this subject. I have been searching the internet for info on emotional numbness and none of them have ever said it was something, instead of a lack of something. None of them have told me it was something that needed to be respected etc. I hope you have more videos on this subject, but this one has been a key for me and just knowing this info has shifted something in me. Thank you!!!
I can't tell you how glad I am to hear that 🙏
This makes so much sense because during quarantine I would block out any feelings instead of dealing with them head on and with that I turned to sweets to deal with it all
Yes, sometimes when our needs are not being met, we look for forms of compensation (addictions, compulsions). It can be very overpowering.
Hi David, I gotta say I really like your calm unrushed delivery. Great work .
Doctor, thank you for your explanation of this. I have been going through something like this since the day in early January 2020 when a midwife told my wife and I that our 20 weeks gestation baby was very small and we went through months of maternal fetal testing, preparing for a short life, etc...Only to have him born and well, mostly healthy, praise God. Still, it does seem like this is an adaptive thing I do without thinking about it. Maybe it helped our predecessors adapt to stressful situations. I have never thought of it this way. Thank you.
I'm so happy you and your family had a happy outcome. Our deepest pain and fears are reversed for those we love. It's certainly something we do when we feel the emotions are simply too much. Thank you for sharing your story here 🙏
This is an excellent way of explains this. I have CPTSD from child abuse followed by coercive abuse in my adult life that went on for 25 years. I feel numb and have done for some time. I now understand the mechanics of dissociation much more thanks to you explaining it on your video David. I’m very, very grateful to you. Wishing you every success in everything you do. Thank you again. ❤👍🤩
Thank you Patrick. Appreciate you sharing that. Very best to you also 🙏
I've been struggeling with this for the past 6 years. This was probably the most helpful video i have ever seen in those years.
Thanks.
So glad to hear that 🙏
I have been trying to understand this for so many years. I was my mothers carer through Alzheimer’s and I was a zombie for that time. Then when she passed, my emotions were so overwhelming, then l started dissociating badly. I have felt numb for years but under that there’s a pain that I’m frightened of, it’s pure psychic pain that just makes me wish I wasn’t here. I’m beginning to recover but I’ve never totally understood this, and today, I do understand so much more. I’m scared of everything, but I want to get better. Thank you so very much!
Thanks so much for sharing 🙏 Thankful the video was useful.
thank you I thought I was turning lazy and uncaring about my familys problem
Empathy has limits Cornelia. We can only give when we're in a position to give.
Long term medication was the main reason I was numb. I stop the medication but I am still numb.
Same for me. I hate this so much
me too.. called PSSD, I want this to stop
Did you ever asked yourself if there was a part of you that wanted in the end to just be numb?
THANK YOU, David!! ❤❤❤ Please speak more about this if you haven't already! I will check your channel now. Thanks again!
Helped me more than 1 year of cbt, thanks for the video!
wow true thanks for sharing Doc thanks so much for making this video. Yes i definitely can tell there is a lot of energy but we perceive is as nothing, But it is a lot. I am experiencing it though 24/7. For me it is not something that comes and go at all. You describing exactly how i feel, this desire to feel something, but u feel an actual blockage in my chest. Something i am doing is changing of environments like going to the park or friend house or do things differently. You amazing! Thanks i appreciate you.🙏🏻✨
Love to hear this Alondra. Yes, the more we experiment, we learn what the block responds to. Also, changing your environment is essential.
You have brilliant knowledge and your ability to communicate your expertise is transformative. Thank you for the guidence and assistence that you are giving. You are a genius and a true giver.
Wow, thank you! I'll keep trying to give as it's what I enjoy ❤
Wow, been searching for the explanation for this. Thank you so much!!! 🙏🏻
Thanks for watching Devi 🙏
First video that really makes sense to me.
Not sure if this is the same thing, at this point I'm completely stressed beyond belief due to finals and have emotionally shutdown. Watching this and actually acknowledging within myself that its not a shutdown but a suppression in a sense, helped to start to lift the weight and numbness off of me. Thank you
You got it! Very welcome my friend 👍
Totally resonated with me. My nervous system is so blocked up I can’t even go to the bathroom unless I’ve been alone in the house for 5h lol.
I cant begin to thank you, i was stuck in a cycle of trying to force things for my self or to understand it on my own but man does your video make it make sense yk?
Very welcome indeed 🙏
Great input, thank you! And congrats for upgrading your video setup. You look much better in that proper lighting! :-)
Very welcome and thank you :)
I think I realized I was feeling something like this recently, being stuck at home doesn't help... but most of the time I try to figure out and pinpoint Wehn and what triggered it, so I can easily start controlling my feelings more. ITs proven to be quiet difficult though
Yes Jay. We tend to give our mind too much credit in terms of pinpointing things. Coming into direct experience with the feeling, without analysis, tends to help profoundly.
@@drdavidmaloneypsychotherapy how do you start to open the space for these emotions though? It seems undoable when you’re such a stranger to your own being and people that you just can’t connect with. Especially when you’re isolated for many years and then having to find a way in this fast moving society. Any tips where to start?
Happy to see a new video!
That's so nice. Yes, I've been setting up in a new location. A lot more regular content to come 🤍
This was so helpful and I’m so glad I listened to the end! Thank you for sharing.
You are so welcome!
Thanks,man.
Listening to You felt strangely therapeutic.
It’s very challenging being in a relationship with someone who numbs out and also directs any pain he is feeling at me and refuses to really recognize that he needs help.
Thank you so much! This's accurate and it explains what exactly I feel
Glad it was helpful!
This is so comforting, thank you so much
You're so welcome!
Thank you so much for the beautiful explanation. I can understand my 6 year struggle
You are so welcome!
Thanks for the video! Looking forward to hearing more from you about this topic!
Very welcome!
Very decent, much obliged.
Cheers!
Thank you so much for this video❤
You are so welcome!
I'm struggling with derealization/depersonalization and just feeling completely detached from my emotions and sense of self lately. I am willing to do what it takes to show my nervous system it's safe now, I just don't know what to do or where to start.
Hi Elizabeth. You're not alone. I love the goal you have established. That's essential. Being willing to do whatever it takes brings focus. It can also be about removing things (rather than doing things). So, what can we drop is a useful thing to consider. Establishing regular daily self-connection is also massively helpful. There's typically some resistance to this, but ultimately it's what's needed most.
@@drdavidmaloneypsychotherapy Thank you for sharing these insights. I can't think of anything to remove currently, but I'll try to examine my life and see if I can identify anything. How does one go about establishing self-connection?
Thank u doctor, god bless you
PTSD from narc abuse from family.many wounds developed borderline I used to feel everything euphoria sadness now I feel nothing just depressed.How can I regain myself? It’s very hard not to have my hobbies of singing and dancing anymore and my passions because I feel so numb due to trauma and stress
brilliant explanation.
I don’t know if you Dr. Mahoney went through dissociation yourself but I ask myself many times how the Doctors could potentially have such an Insight of a disease they never went through. The empathy must be great. Thank you.
Thank you. It's not purely theoretical for me in fact. I have direct personal experience with this issue.
Perfect timing , thank you.
I would love nothing more to be numb to emotions cuz I have problems to be friends with strangers and getting to know em as friends only 😢❤
The way I see ur example with the fridge, from someone going through this numb phase of life, I feel like when the electricity goes out, many find the fridge a safe place, maybe a wound made us shut ourselves in the fridge in the first place and when we’re numb we don’t realize the electricity went out, eventually we get confused and although it might be warm our minds trick us into thinking it’s freezing, when ur freezing it’s hard to think, it’s hard to put a finger on reality that it’s warm, how could one understand it’s warm, how can we figure out what is holding that door
Emotions just feel like a light nudge to me now and I don't care when something like that happens but I care about not really feeling them so I feel sadness and I never feel sad unless I'm thinking about this.
It's like a little bit of a deep sadness and I love This feeling I want more of it.
I want to cry but I can't
I became more religious because of this lack of emotion.
I can only come close to a tear after I sim and I'm asking forgiveness from god
That's the strongest I've felt
The only thing I really feel is annoyance most of the time I can just ignore it but I still feel it and I don't like thsi emotion at all but I don't want to lose it
I also feel empathy I feel a lot of it
I can feel so bad for people
But I don't care at the same time
Back when I could feel and if I ever cryed(like back when I was five) I would be thinking and my thoughts would be very uncaring, but then I would also have my sad thoughts witch started on what ever got me crying then I would spiral about to anything else sad that I remember and after crying I would feel very comfortable and tired
I think I felt kind of fulfilled after crying
I've always been good at ignoring emotions but I would always revisit them when I was alone
I guess a few bad things happens in my life
The last thing that remembers I crying about about was my great grandmothers death
Then after that i remember my mom telling me my dad was deported and we didn't have anyway to contact him
My sister cried but I just felt nothing I felt bad for my sister but nothing about my dad even though I loved him
I don't know, it's weird
I'm very interested in this so I have been thinking about this a lot
i feel nothing i hope i can heal
What are your thoughts about emotional numbness from PSSD?
the consultant I see regarding this has told me it often comes with emotional numbness, that is indeed the case for me too. My emotional numbness in other words was from an ssri i only took for a few weeks and years later off all medications and substances I have not gotten better. I do however notice your videos bring me identification as if my issue is indeed with my nervous system, just caused at first by medication
Thank you David!
So welcome!
Thank you
Very welcome 🙏
Very useful...thank you !!!
Very welcome Leanne 🙏
How do we start feeling, doctor?
Essentially it's about figuring out (feeling out rather) what your emotional needs are. More on this issue to come.
Tysm
Hello doctor, is it possible that mine happened after prolonged episodes of panic attacks, I notice the numbness after having anxiety attacks and panic attacks. One day I came back home and I felt like a weird numbing. Then I got scared over it. It became worse over the past month because I think I still been anxious and doing the wrong thing. Basically I can like laugh or cry but I don’t feel the chemical rushes of the emotions of crying or happiness if that make sense. I also can’t feel the chemical sensations of the emotion anger, jealousy, empathy, apetit, satisfaction. Is all of that normal?? Thx you
I had this too. For me the numbness caused me to wear a mask in day to day life to seem normal to others but it eventually tired me out and gave me anxiety and panic attacks.
What helped for me was rest, yoga, meditation, good sleep and diet etc.
@@DivineLogos please tell me you regained your emotions, I just feel so empty
@@Dave.mcclinton It is getting better every month. But I am also burnt out so you might feel better much faster than me.
@@DivineLogos one more question if you don’t mind , do you have any meditation tips ?
@@Dave.mcclinton Yoga nidra is the easiest meditation and very effective. NSDR from dr. Hubermann is almost the same.
This is very good
Thank you!
Thanks for sharing.. I have struggled with this for so long.. There have been years of losses in my life.. I do everything I know of to help it - workout, eat healthy, try and get enough sleep etc but it doesn’t seem to go.. I would love to know how to overcome it..
Doctor I really need help I've been feeling like this for 4years now... I can't take it on my own.
How can I get help
Somatic body work is the place to start Tsiya. I have found this the most transformative way to heal numbness.
I’m just waiting for him to pick up the guitar and talk as he strums some chords here and there
How do I feel again?
Im asking the same thing but for this long of being numb theres no coming back from it its a gift and a curse ! Life is pointless to me meanungless even futur heart breaks dont hurt me i dont feel love for anyone not even my self to hell with it all !
Does meditation and music help to heal the nervous system?
Hi Mariana. In my experience, it can play a very important role, yes 🙏
whats the difference between Apathy and Anhedonia ???
okay sir im 13 years old and i dont feel anything at all and that is really making me go like crazy and i even thought about just live with it for the last of my life the problem is i sometimes feel emotions for 2 to 8 sec and i cry for how good is its like make me happy instant like imaging you feel again for few sec after years and i think it has something to do with my father i had very rough ending with my dad when i think of him i kinda feel for less than a sec the reason im typing this beczz i had enough i would cry for entire day just if i had to feel again fo just 1 hour and thx you for reading this if you have any advise plz dm my thanks you
Peace be upon you, my brother. I hope you are well. I advise you to listen to the Holy Qur’an, and this will save you from this condition
i'm a muslim, and i think your right, i almost never opened the quran more than 20 times in my entire life ( i'm 15 ) thank you for the advice@@IlyesboukraIlyes-zn9ui
Thanks a lot for this video! ✨
I'm not understanding that well why my mind is so empty and there are no thoughts or inner dialogue...
Do you have any explanation?
Greetings from Germany:)
Hey, this was a great video, very informative!! Do you suggest avoiding stressful or even uncomfortable situations to establish that feeling of safety? I have social anxiety and I don't know if avoiding social situations would help with the dissociation.
I might do a video on this Deppie as the question comes up a lot. It's more nuanced than most think. It's not as simple as forcing yourself into social situations. This is really just bulldozing the anxiety and it rarely (if ever) works. However, there is something useful in moving towards the edge of discomfort in being around others and not having life be dictated by the anxiety voice.
@@drdavidmaloneypsychotherapy Thank you for answering! I know it's complicated and I can't really decide what I want to do, but I don't want to let anxiety deprive me of the good stuff.
Hello David, you seem to understand very well my situation. I have been stuck for 3 years now and it seems that blockage isn't going anywhere, is it possible you have an open session with me in December? your calender seems full for the rest of the year. I seriously need some help
So, if I don't feel safe in my environment,will that make me shut down and lose interest? I've been in a shielding household for a year, with my parents, they both have Aspergers so there's absolutely no talking about feelings,or the impact of isolation on me, my confidence has gone and my relationship ended and I'm not near people. I don't know how to start again? My Dad was verbally aggressive with me during the first lockdown. Thank you. I fluctuate between numb and agony.
Jackie, I see our main role as validating the experiences. Both the numbness and the pain are completely valid and deserve our understanding. Finding safety, even when it's difficult, is a priority. Understanding our emotional needs is another important factor.
@@drdavidmaloneypsychotherapy please can you help me?
@@Froglet1968 Reach out Jackie david@drdavidmaloney.com
What are some tips on calming the nervous symptoms that you specifically use with patients
Hi there. I made a video on this. I think it's called 13 ways to connect to emotions. Something like that. Hope it's of some help.
@@drdavidmaloneypsychotherapy great, thanks for replying!
I felt a short term numbness in jail be cause I was in shock cause they told me I killed someone. Is that the same sorta numbness?
so what to do then .... because maybe this thing break a relationship or something .. so please what to do !?
My most recent video answers this question in terms of what to do. Hope it answers your question 🙏
Ok so is it a bad thing that I like being emotional numb ? It’s not a “struggle” for me , Am I depressed? Idk. I like feeling nothing .. I’m not a bad or evil person I’m just tired of heartbreak idk maybe , it’s a mental thing ? I’m so confused
Sorry to comment on something so old, but in case others may like a perspective on this:
Initially I liked it as well because it shut down my anxiety really well, but there comes a point where good things start happening in life and you can’t really appreciate them because the good goes with the bad. Sometimes we just have to survive a situation, but once that time is over it’s not bad at all to let the guard down a little and permit some feeling back in. Otherwise it gets harder and harder to find your way out again
Thanks alot
Very welcome
Does this same theory apply when you feel numb or lack of emotions from anti depressants? I'm only a week into taking them for the first time after a stressful life event and longer struggles with anxiety and depression and have really noticed the emotional blunting more than ever since starting.
Hi Samantha. Many people report numbness as a result of anti depressants. I think it's quite normal but it's always a good idea to consult with the professional who prescribed the medication. Tell them about your symptoms. Learning to relate to our emotions (or seeming lack there of) is beneficial for almost everyone I think, no matter the medication we may need at times to help us heal.
Is there anyway out please answer
👌👌
how to get out of dissociation and feel emotions again?
Hi are you dealing this problem? Please reply me
@@faisalbi1330 yes i do
@@arigatameiwaku r u still numb?
@@faisalbi1330 sadly yes,been like this for 6 months at 22 december i apointed a therapy :( i hope i can get my emotions back,i had big trauma in my life
@@arigatameiwaku can you explain your smytoms please.
Hi can brain injury neruological illness cause emotions feelings numbness please reply me .I can't feel anything
It is rare, but it can happen. Dissociation is typically caused by some degree of PTSD or complex trauma Faisal.
@@drdavidmaloneypsychotherapy thanks for reply. Its is possible emotions feelings come back as normal?
@@faisalbi1330 100% As soon as we feel safe again, the emotional system functions the same way again.
@@drdavidmaloneypsychotherapy thank you so so much you are giving me hope.
@@drdavidmaloneypsychotherapy thank you ur reply and ur videos are giving me hope I'll get better I hope .I really want to back to normal life once again.
💛
ayo is this why im always so fkn tired? 🧍🏽♀️