13 Ways To Connect with Emotion Safely if Feeling Numb or Dissociated
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 พ.ค. 2024
- How to start feeling emotions again if numb or dissociated.
◼ Talk with David: www.drdavidmaloney.com/book-s...
◼ Procrastination Video Course: www.drdavidmaloney.com/procra...
◼ Procrastination eBook: www.drdavidmaloney.com/procra...
◼ Relationships Video Course: www.drdavidmaloney.com/relati...
Thanks for watching. If you enjoy my content, remember to like and subscribe for more.
Dr. David Maloney is a Psychologist and therapist. His has trained in a variety of techniques (person-centered, Gestalt, ACIM, psychodynamic) and works with people on a wide variety of issues. His main areas of expertise are in self-esteem, motivation, and relationships.
Hi all. Here are the 13 tips in the video...
1. Accept that a part of you won’t want to do this. Be patient with yourself.
2. Prioritize self-care and fun in your life. Create an experience of what love feels like (self-parenting).
3. Breathing exercises. Holotropic breathwork. Changes focus from external to internal. It anchors the focus.
4. Feel the numbness.
5. Allow (embrace) frustration and mild anxiety.
6. Embrace ‘giving up’. Then, relax into surrender.
7. Place your hands on any part of your body in which something emotional moves.
8. Let music teach you. Listen to it often.
9. Embrace all emotions just as they are (change nothing).
10. Prioritize inter-personal relationships as well as alone time.
11. Realize we are not trying to fix the pain - only to connect with it.
12. Don’t over analyze the roots of your trauma - it’s often way more complicated than imaginable.
13. Remain mindful of the underlying trauma. See this as an ongoing need to attend to your emotional body.
❤it’s not about (constantly) feeling good; it’s about how good we are at feeling.
I am so tired of feeling this way but I am even more tired of watching/reading about the topic while nothing helps it's so fucking frustrating
I completely understand how you feel, I’ve been emotionally numb for 10 months, just when I thought I was getting better, I ended up having constant DPDR episodes where I kept getting constant panic attacks and intrusive thoughts, eventually I ended up becoming even more numb than before, back then I was still able to feel sensations in my gut and parts in my body, but now, I don’t feel jackshit, it’s tormenting.
@@marioncarbonell6047how u feel now?
My mother is a covert narcissist who turned extremely verbally abusive towards me a few months ago, and at the same time I discovered I was being cheated on by the father of my newborn child, a man I loved very deeply. I haven’t been able to truly process my emotions since then. I’ve never felt this way before, I’ve always been incredibly emotionally expressive. I feel so blocked. My heart is broken but all that emotion is just trapped inside.
Sending you a lot of love
You are not alone.
Hearing this explained, helps me feel a little normal. I've become so disconnected and for years haven't been able to pinpoint what's going on. Thank you
Very welcome Glenda 🙏
This is the best video I have came across on the subject, hands down. Finally someone is talking about this and taking the mystery and hopelessness out of my experience. Giving me all of these tips on how to heal on top of explaining it is not a void but a thing, wow! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Glad you enjoyed it!
I hope everyone reading this will be okay, I hope I will be too, this is the best video about the subject
Thanks for these again. These are normal reactions to prolonged stress, instability, trauma (past and present). Most would be shuffled off with a pill by a psychiatrist or be diagnosed with some kind of mood disorder and put on a course of medication which may not be sustainable and mostly doesn't help at least from looking at experiences of dp/dr people online. I developed mine around a needy parent who operated in this mode for most of her life. Having to rely on her during the pandemic resurfaced a ton of this stuff. It's basically a feeling in solarplexus of anxiety, loneliness but feeling boxed in by circumstances and now an anxiously attached smothering elderly parent that is on track for early stages of dementia it seems triggering this neediness she had all her life and didn't express and probably blaming me for her role as a martyr. Becoming dismissive to get away emotionally has been traumatic. Some family doesn't want to let go because after growing up in multi generational household they feel entitled to hold on. It's just tough operating this way in the world. All my life I had to be the mature dissociated adult son when I needed support. And now by virtue of loneliness they want more of the same. Well, no more. I'm not going to say they are narcissistic which I thought earlier. They are definitely an always have been dissociated. Blame cold upbringing, generational personal trauma. I just hate feeling like I don't exist because I stuffed so many emotions recently. Like a balloon around my heart. This protective hopelessness helps to numb out. Sorry for the rant. It's just good to see someone getting under it in a way that sounds intuitive.
Glad i found you man. Im sick of these youtubers who are just paraphrasing the dsm on this stuff. Youve actually been through it and you are an actual professional. Im dealing with un processed trauma from childhood and i feel like im in a rut between wanting to feel again but its hard for me to deal with the pain that arises. As soon as it bubbles up and i become dissociated; all logic goes out the window and i want to resist it and not feel it and it takes real focus to accept it for what it is and allow it to be. Such an interesting thing the body will do from past traumatic events. All i want to do is live my life as i am and feel openly what the world has to offer. I know deep down i like who i am but its tough with all of these roadblocks stopping me from achieving that. Looking forward to listening to more of your videos
Thanks for sharing your healing. Your body knows intrinsically how to heal. Logic can be overrated in this domain. Keep trusting your body 🙏
Thank you so much for this video. I've been emotionally numb for almost 8 years now following a particularly painful + traumatic relationship in addition to a prolonged period of extreme stress. As an actor, it has been extremely difficult dealing with this, as I need to be able to access my emotions - so it's been a cycle of being numb, not doing good work because I'm unable to access the emotions, to feeling bad about myself for that, etc. etc. I've been in therapy consistently for a year and am really committing to the healing process now, and while some extremely painful emotions are coming up, I'm welcoming them as I'm excited to be feeling them again. I want to do a better job of showing myself compassion for taking so long to start the healing journey - I just wasn't ready.
Thank you Jamie. It's great to hear you're on your way. When exactly the time comes for healing to begin is often hard to predict. I think something within calls out for reconnection and our focus then shifts towards the inner world once again. Thank you for sharing 🙏
You're an Angel... Much love
Most welcome!
OMG you absolutely hit the nail on it's head in so many ways for me. I wish I had your videos ten years ago when i was numbing out in front of the TV and couldnt break it off. I have sabotaged myself in so many ways. Thank you thank you thank you for your videos and your books
Comments like this are very nice to hear. Many thanks to you!
@@drdavidmaloneypsychotherapy I wasn't being nice. This is seriously helpful. But please consider using a mic :)
@@blueskythinking8312 are you not emotionally numb anymore please tell me yes
Thank you. I’m so grateful to have found you here. Just started listening a couple days ago and already starting to sense very subtle, but profound shifts. 🙏
Omg … yess music never fails ever to lift me up and depending on what kind of music, I can actually cry…
How are you now
Thank you for creating these videos in a calm and compassionate way - it's immensely helpful ♥️
You're so welcome Sofia 🙏
Sir, you have already done so much that I can't thank you enough, ever. I am slowly trying to reconnect with my emotions after I went totally numb after a huge and abrupt loss. It has been two years or more and I really want to feel something again. More videos on this topic would be immensely helpful. Thank you :)
You're very welcome my friend. I'll do my best 🙏❤️
Thank you!
thankyou
Thank you ❤️
Thank you!❤
You are just amazing
Very helpful indeed. Thankyou so much.
thank you so much. ive watched a few of your videos and i will re watch .. i don’t really have capacity to express myself but just know that your videos are so helpful on so many levels , thank you
Been feeling this way for 6 months.....ive finally accepted alot of things that have happened to me in the past and present and the things ive felt but suppressed for years...Ive always been very sensitive so this has made me feel like a different person.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (Five stars) Thank you!
Many thanks 🙏
I haven't been this relaxed in a very long time,thank you doc for the nice tips and for bringing hope into my life,great video!
You are very welcome. Very glad the video was of some help 🙏
Thank you so much. I really needed to hear all this. Very, very helpful.
Very welcome Lisa. Thank you!
Lots of wisdom here, thank you
Thanks Caleb 🙏
Thank You very much for your help
Thanks for watching Mary-Ann 🙏
thank you so much!❤
Thank you too!
This is REALLY helpful.
Thanks for watching.
Thank you so much!! This was such a big help
You're so welcome!
Thank you so much for this video. It came right on time
Very welcome 🙏
I'm always tense, I hold my stomach without even noticing. I have crossdressing and AGP tendencies and after a lot of work on myself, I found that i dissociated and still dissociate a lot. My teachers complained from it, my parents complained. Not knowing that they were the reason why. And maybe some biological predisposition to mental illness, my uncles are all fucked up mentally. Thank you for your videos, you're the only one who's actually giving a very logical and basic form of healing. I'm not afraid of pain, I just need this pressure on top of my shoulder to lessen and let me express my emotions.
Hang in there my friend. It's a road full of emotional ups and downs. More stability comes as we learn I feel.
Very helpful. Thank you, Dr. Maloney!
Thank you Thomas 🙏
One of the most helpful videos I have ever watched. Thank you. X
You are so welcome! Thank you Rachael.
Thank you so much
You're most welcome👍
You are awesome.
Thanks for making such quality content.
You are so welcome!
This guy is so insightful it's crazy. Thank you!!!
Thank you my friend 🙏🙏
Such an incredible video. Thank you for making this.
Thank you Adam. Much appreciated 🙏
Thank you, very informative
You are welcome!
Great videos. Im relearning from you
Thank you Faiza 🙏
Thank you 🙏🏽
You are so welcome 🙏
Thank you so much❤
Welcome!
thank you for your care and love through your videos. you help me to begin to work with self compassion. grateful for your guts.❤
You are so welcome
I’m gonna listen again but thought I’d share I got 3/4 of the way through before I realised i missed everything you said and I was crying - I needed that thank you 🙏
So very welcome 🙏
Sure wish I was able to work with you! You are great
Thank you so much. There are many good therapists out there but feel free to reach out in future if you want to work with me.
This video is so incredibly good
I keep watching it to understand and try to apply tips
Really thank you ❤
You're so welcome!
Thank Dr. Maloney. This helps me to understand someone I love who is emotionally numb. ❤
Thank you Vanessa!
Thank you for these really helpful tips, you really explain them well.
I do have a question though. Is this (feeling emotions) possible during DPDR aka Depersonalization Derealization disorder? The only things I currently feel in the body are stress and anxiety which makes it very diffcult, almost impossible, to feel something else. Hope this makes sense. Thanks!
thank you
Welcome!
“If you’re listening to Scandinavian death metal” …. How did you know that Doc? 🤣❤️
Metallica was as heavy as I got 😆
@@drdavidmaloneypsychotherapy some Mongolian metal to get into our feelings ..
th-cam.com/video/sv29DzgiXZA/w-d-xo.html
Try Sabaton
I'm very thankful for this information hope i can bring back my feeling's
Update?
Loved this video. About the music part, i listen to an Artist named Dax. Recently dropped an album, that has been helping me so much, to fight whatever it is I'm currently feeling.
Thanks for sharing Tyrone. My preferences are changing month to month lately!
Thank you for caring about others enough to share here! I do have a question about working through the emotions and trauma that negatively impacts my relationships and life? How do I go about accessing those issues?
Thank you so much for this video. This is incredibly helpful. I would like to add that not only music can be beneficial, but all types of art :)
Absolutely. Couldn't agree more. Thanks for sharing 🙏
1. Be patient
2. Prioritise wellbeing and self care
3. Find a breathe work practice you like (holotropic breathe work)
4. Feel numbness like you would experience any emotions
5. Allow and embrace fustration and anxiety to feel into the body
6. Embrace giving up. As soon as you give up trying to feel. Feelings is spontaenous. We are just trying to drop our defense to it. Relax and dont try to accomplish anything and surrender.
7. Place your hand on any part of your body where you might feel any emotions. Stay focused on what is helping inside your body. Self soothing
8. Let music teach you how to feel.
9. Embrace all emotions just as they are.
10. Prioritise inter-personal relationships and alone time
11. We are not trying to fix the pain, we are trying to connect to the pain
12. Dont try to analyse the roots of trauma.
13. Reconnect daily
Amazing. Very helpful 🙏🙏
Its hard because whem i start to feel again there is so much anxiety and hypervigilence. And i end up freezing again and going numb again. Not sure how to overcome the constant triggers and fear. Any tips?
Thanks for your helpful advice David.
Can you give us some tips on how to approach dating when you’re often in a freeze state in public?
Like, in these moments I’m unable to approach others that I like.
I’m getting the signs and but emotionally I’m closed off and experience a lot of muscle tension in my head.
Tight muscles behind the eyes? Like you can feel it more when you close your eyes too right
I have a lot of throat tightness and tension. I feel when i do breath work that the energy starts flowing in my body i can feel it but im not connected to it because it stops at my neck as if theres a blockage there and I'm thinking it's the part of my body that's keeping me disassociated. Has anybody else had this experience? Ive been able to release the tension fully only a few times in my life and remember thinking that this was the key to freedom. I remember i had to breathe through the tension and eventually my throat would let go and i had a overwhelming feeling of being connected not only to my body but present in my environment. I wish i would have practiced it more at the time, probably about 10 years ago because now it feels even more resistant and I can't achieve the same feeling as i did back then
Nothing is ever lost and things unfold perfectly in their own time. Trust the process.
I guess I know what you're talking abt. I think my dissociation started on my chest because I was paying too much attention to my heartbeat and it was giving me too much anxiety over the fear of having a heart disease so when I dissociated, I started feeling a "numbness" in my chest, some sort of "blockage" that isn't allowing me to feel it like I did before, it seems fainter and distant in my chest, as if something is muffling it or preventing me from properly feeling it in my chest, even when it is supposed to be fast, such as after an exercise
@@AnaLugia256 I just got over what you're talking about being hyper aware of my heartbeat and heart rate. It sucks because you can't help but pay attention to it or when you forget you check your pulse which in turn keeps your hr up and anxiety elevated. I ended up taking myself to urgent care because I couldn't take not knowing if something was off or not. Turns out everything was completely fine and the next day, which was this past Sunday I had a fever and covid. After realizing it was probably due to covid I allowed myself to relax and eventually forgot all about the heart issues I thought I was having and then I noticed my hr and bp went back down to normal healthy levels. Now I'm worried about my liver bc I had elevated enzyme levels from a blood test I took this past Thursday. Possibly it's from covid too even though I didn't have symptoms yet. But now I gotta wait a month to see if they go back down. Trying not to worry is difficult so I feel you. The trick is to allow your body/subconscious to heal itself back to equilibrium without your conscious effort. Just like how you're body will breath on its own when you're not thinking about it or when you're asleep. Hope you feel better
@@AnaLugia256 but definitely it's like your subconscious is trying to protect you by making you feel numb. It's a smart mechanism that we all share. Even though we treat it as the enemy at times
I am suffering from antidepressant induced emotional blunting and suffering from anhedonia.How to recover please help me.Hope you are having a wonderful day
I dont understand what you mean by embrace giving up the relax into surrendering,do you mean like stop doing stuff to try and get rid of the numbness and just go on about your life wondering if the numbness will ever go away?
Dr. How to get rid of maladaptive daydreaming?? I've tried everything out there ..but nothing worked 😞..
How do we know what kind of therapist we need? I’m with a very nice person and LCSW yet I’m not so sure she’s experienced with C-ptsd and other life long issues , I asked her several times, she says she is qualified? I’m not looking for a best friend … I want for the first time , what I’ve been researching since I was 15 years old… that is what’s wrong with me and what can I do to , or what meds are more than likely needed. We could waist time and more by being in the hands of someone who really isn’t qualified? I have reason to believe the odds of being with the wrong therapist are higher than not!
Thank you
WPB FL
Mainly it's a sense of how safe you feel emotionally with the therapist. In terms of the therapy, I feel that demystifying the repressed shadow aspects of ourselves is a big part of it. The goal, as far as I am concerned, is to reach more and more authenticity.
Is it possible to hurt someone so badly someone you really love because you are in that stage where you can't feel anything good or bad?
Do you recommend crying? I'm numb at the the moment but I can bring myself to cry. Would crying help?
There's no right or wrong in this. It's all so personal and each of us has such an individualized experience.
I suffer more from dysregulation than from dissociation, do you have also advice or a video about that? Because every time I try to feel the feelings beneath the emotions the more I dysregulate. Sometimes some skills work, but often they don’t. I try then to talk to someone about that, but that also makes it worse sometimes and it ruins my relationships, because when I am dysregulated a lot of anger or heavy emotions are coming up at once and that is often very hard for most people to witness. My problem is, that I can’t stay alone when I am dysregulated, that makes it harder to cope with it! Any advice for that? Thank you very much in advance!
Hi. Thanks for sharing. With dysregulation it's all about feeling safe first. We look at the triggers that come up most often and then seek to create a 'gap' between the trigger and the reaction (emotional outbursts, conflict, avoidance etc). The gap is ideally to practice calming the N.S. When we start this, the gap is almost non existent. Trigger - response happens almost instantly. However, with practice, we can get to the point where we have more and more time to CHOOSE the reaction that best serves us. Hope that makes some sense.
@@drdavidmaloneypsychotherapy Hi David, thank you for your insight. That makes sense and a lot of times I was able to change my reaction. My biggest problem though is, when I am already dysregulated how to stop the dysregulation from going on. So since one month I get dysregulated almost every day and that is to two major conflicts I have with two people in my life. How can I feel save in a conflict that lasts for over a month now and my nervous system won’t stop overreacting? Do you have any guidance here when I am already dysregulated? Thanks a lot!
Guilt free play sound interesting
Very powerful!
Animating sacred geometry
Ill see something funny and i will laugh but theres no tingling good feeling at all, I feel nothing but still laugh?
🤍🤍
Music often irritates me. Even music that I once listened to for pleasure.
very hard to listen to
Its the build up dats problematic after i cry i feel better