Even when we think we're prepared for it, grief hits us like a hurricane. It destabilizes our lives, taking us to a place we never wanted to go. Do we choose grief and sorrow?
It's a hard road, 14 months since my husband of over 60 years passed and there isn't a day that I don't miss him. BUT, I also know that if it had been the other way around, his struggle would have been far greater than mine for many reasons. After this length of time, I am finding that I am trading grief for gratitude. I lived with this blessed soul most of my life, how could I not be in the greatest of gratitude? If one can find that place within, to trade the sorrow for joy and the grief for gratitude more light will come into your life. You can then be a blessing to others when they go through this experience. SO.. be blessed. The trade is worth the price of the pain.
There's not a day that goes by when I'm not grieving or in some kind of sorrow. It seems like it's taking so long. My counselor told me the losses are major so it will take more time than I think. One thing I've learned is that anxiety can set in so I cling to the Lord for each day. Normal things can seem like such huge irritants and mountains. Another is when grieving I've been emotionally fragile so I get my feelings hurt or distorted thinking happens. It helps me to be gentle with myself because this process can still be exhausting. With all the deaths there were less people to turn to ending with my best friend and encourager. My cat being killed in front of me by two dogs broke me. That was my "why God?" He was my therapy cat that always knew when to comfort me. Expressing yourself so honestly Bill is the right way, never running from it. Blessings and love. Thank you for this channel. Prayers for you and your family.
Thank you SO much. One of the couple has to bear this burden so you push on. “I will bear this pain so you didn’t have to.” And the explanation of Jesus words was so comforting and brought inner peace to my soul. God bless you.
Nail on the head! 44 yrs together. 2yrs ago we parted. We lost our infant son. That was heart rendering But we had each other ( and of course Jesus). When Dave passed, half of me was gone. Yes it is a process...in this process my Savior is truly showing me He is my Husband as His Word says. I have just recently come to asking now what my assignment is . As wife and mother all these yrs it was so clear and defined by His Word. Again, this season i find myself in, He leads me in His Word. I am studying through the Titus older woman responsibility and role as well as other women of the Bible He is spotlighting for me in my quiet time. Thank you for this channel Pastor Bill. And thank you for sharing the alternative understanding of marriage in heaven. I so desire to be united again to together in God's presence. Blessings 🙏❤️📖✝️
@@focusonthefuture582 no problem on that. It is part of the process, healing, learning, trusting, growing. Two steps forward three steps back. Long pauses. It's all His timing, His way. I'm following to His lead. I'm in no hurry. One day at a time truly
I wish I had a friend like you in my life pastor. At this moment I can only imagine what you are going through and even the very thought of that terrifies me to my core. I hope one day to have the faith you have in God, I am struggling very much with that at the moment but I am truly happy to see amazing people like you still exist and you give me hope. I have my wife but I do not have kids, she is my world and I absolutely love her just as you did your beautiful wife .I can almost feel your pain through this stupid phone screen and I’m very sorry for you. I sincerely hope you find peace . ❤❤ Please pray for me if you can but only if you manage to find a brief moment without the terrible hurt.
Thanks Bill for sharing your heart. I miss the fact that I can no longer share my hopes, my dreams and even my plans and schemes with my person. I just want to be held when my tears fall like rain.
Well my friend...I would like to tell you that I have done it perfectly and with grace, but that would not be true. There have been moments I have done this grief thing well and other moments not so much. After David died, I started having men ask me out right and left. I received so much attention, but not what I needed. I did date a bit, but was extremely disappointed as my expectations are high and I was definitely not ready. I pretty much stopped dating and focused on self validation instead of other validation. At the 3 month mark I went back to Church again. Everyone was so supportive, loved on me and healing began. I know I will never be the same...but that's ok. I want to becme an even better version of myself. I feel like I am reinventing me. I just know deep in my heart and soul God left me here for a purpose(s). And what am I going to do with that?
Thank you my friend for sharing your heart. I shared this with both of my Sisters who both recently lost a child. You have helped so many people. God bless you💙
In my life, I have gleaned truths in unusual places. For instance (although I don’t subscribe to him) Khalil Gibran remarked: “When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” (The deeper the love, the greater the sorrow). And also, for babies and marriages and children who are lost-that “deep love” also encompasses the dreams, goals, hopes and expectations that are no longer viable. We grieve deeply for all of it.
@@BillRRitchie not as personal as you. My Mom passed 2 years ago suddenly in October. Has left a hole in our family. We have journeyed the last 24 years with the sudden loss of my Mother-in-law. That one has been a longer time spent on that journey and have watched family members deal with all of the emotions. I really value your conversation and my father-in-law went through and has been since remarried, but went through and expressed not being able to have nthe “female side“ of the conversation. Love you, Bill.
It's a hard road, 14 months since my husband of over 60 years passed and there isn't a day that I don't miss him. BUT, I also know that if it had been the other way around, his struggle would have been far greater than mine for many reasons. After this length of time, I am finding that I am trading grief for gratitude. I lived with this blessed soul most of my life, how could I not be in the greatest of gratitude? If one can find that place within, to trade the sorrow for joy and the grief for gratitude more light will come into your life. You can then be a blessing to others when they go through this experience. SO.. be blessed.
The trade is worth the price of the pain.
Great word! Especially when you focus on how fantastic heaven is!
There's not a day that goes by when I'm not grieving or in some kind of sorrow. It seems like it's taking so long. My counselor told me the losses are major so it will take more time than I think. One thing I've learned is that anxiety can set in so I cling to the Lord for each day. Normal things can seem like such huge irritants and mountains. Another is when grieving I've been emotionally fragile so I get my feelings hurt or distorted thinking happens. It helps me to be gentle with myself because this process can still be exhausting. With all the deaths there were less people to turn to ending with my best friend and encourager. My cat being killed in front of me by two dogs broke me. That was my "why God?" He was my therapy cat that always knew when to comfort me. Expressing yourself so honestly Bill is the right way, never running from it. Blessings and love. Thank you for this channel. Prayers for you and your family.
Wow on so many levels! You state where you are so poignantly, and insincerity with you. You are so right: I just need to get my thoughts “out there.”
The pain now is part of the happiness then. That's the deal.
-SHADOWLANDS
That's why the focus needs to be on the joy that is ahead, some of which we can experience now.
Thank you SO much. One of the couple has to bear this burden so you push on. “I will bear this pain so you didn’t have to.” And the explanation of Jesus words was so comforting and brought inner peace to my soul. God bless you.
Thank you so much. God's truth is what gives us life and light!
Nail on the head! 44 yrs together. 2yrs ago we parted. We lost our infant son. That was heart rendering But we had each other ( and of course Jesus). When Dave passed, half of me was gone. Yes it is a process...in this process my Savior is truly showing me He is my Husband as His Word says. I have just recently come to asking now what my assignment is . As wife and mother all these yrs it was so clear and defined by His Word.
Again, this season i find myself in, He leads me in His Word. I am studying through the Titus older woman responsibility and role as well as other women of the Bible He is spotlighting for me in my quiet time.
Thank you for this channel Pastor Bill. And thank you for sharing the alternative understanding of marriage in heaven. I so desire to be united again to together in God's presence. Blessings 🙏❤️📖✝️
Thank you for your transparency. Quite a change for sure. That’s a great objective you have before you. Move into it a millimeter at a time.
@@focusonthefuture582 no problem on that. It is part of the process, healing, learning, trusting, growing. Two steps forward three steps back. Long pauses. It's all His timing, His way. I'm following to His lead. I'm in no hurry. One day at a time truly
@@jacquiedeseive3068 do I ever get "long pauses." This is definitely a club nobody wants to join but we all do anyway!
I wish I had a friend like you in my life pastor. At this moment I can only imagine what you are going through and even the very thought of that terrifies me to my core. I hope one day to have the faith you have in God, I am struggling very much with that at the moment but I am truly happy to see amazing people like you still exist and you give me hope. I have my wife but I do not have kids, she is my world and I absolutely love her just as you did your beautiful wife .I can almost feel your pain through this stupid phone screen and I’m very sorry for you. I sincerely hope you find peace . ❤❤ Please pray for me if you can but only if you manage to find a brief moment without the terrible hurt.
I will pray for you for sure. Treasure the moments you have, hang on tight, and press into what good has for each of you.
Thanks Bill for sharing your heart. I miss the fact that I can no longer share my hopes, my dreams and even my plans and schemes with my person. I just want to be held when my tears fall like rain.
Wow, how true that is. So how have you managed that? !
Well my friend...I would like to tell you that I have done it perfectly and with grace, but that would not be true. There have been moments I have done this grief thing well and other moments not so much. After David died, I started having men ask me out right and left. I received so much attention, but not what I needed. I did date a bit, but was extremely disappointed as my expectations are high and I was definitely not ready. I pretty much stopped dating and focused on self validation instead of other validation. At the 3 month mark I went back to Church again. Everyone was so supportive, loved on me and healing began. I know I will never be the same...but that's ok. I want to becme an even better version of myself. I feel like I am reinventing me. I just know deep in my heart and soul God left me here for a purpose(s). And what am I going to do with that?
@@juliezuver1317 absolutely right. The closer you walk with him, the clearer that purpose will be.
I was able to start Grief share the following week my Husband died. It helped me tremendously ❤️
Journeying with others is so important and helpful.
Thank you my friend for sharing your heart. I shared this with both of my Sisters who both recently lost a child. You have helped so many people. God bless you💙
Wow, you're knee deep in the process. They surely need the comfort you bring.
In my life, I have gleaned truths in unusual places. For instance (although I don’t subscribe to him) Khalil Gibran remarked:
“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”
(The deeper the love, the greater the sorrow). And also, for babies and marriages and children who are lost-that “deep love” also encompasses the dreams, goals, hopes and expectations that are no longer viable. We grieve deeply for all of it.
So good! I will address expectations because that is so very important! Thank you!
This is so good Bill… 😢 Praying for you my friend.
Thanks so much!
I’m so sorry. 😢
Thank you.
Thank you for your courage and willingness to share your heart, and by doing so helping others who may be grieving, as well. God bless!
Thank you for that. I’m going to ramp up my sharing.
Love your heart Bill. Thanks for letting us walk this part of your journey together
Thanks. Is this a journey you have walked?
@@BillRRitchie not as personal as you. My Mom passed 2 years ago suddenly in October. Has left a hole in our family. We have journeyed the last 24 years with the sudden loss of my Mother-in-law. That one has been a longer time spent on that journey and have watched family members deal with all of the emotions. I really value your conversation and my father-in-law went through and has been since remarried, but went through and expressed not being able to have nthe “female side“ of the conversation. Love you, Bill.