Your story is so compelling and at the same time heart wrenching. You have accomplished so much in your life and your achievements in martial arts, body building and academics really inspire me. You have also endured so many hardships. Your parents are so amazing too. It’s so heartwarming to hear their voices in the old video clips. I can hear how much they love you and are so supportive and encouraging with their words and expressions. I am so sad that you have been going through the mental health challenges that you have. I can really relate to some of your struggles especially the feeling that you’re outside looking at a performance and trying to figure it out. This was my experience at about the same time in my life, at about 11 or 12 all of the other kids seemed to know what to do in more complex social situations and I didn’t . I remember awkwardly eating my lunch alone because I didn’t know how to find my people. Really enjoying your content. Keep it up!
Being outwardly calm as a clam, yet internally a raging storm…that’s very relatable. That was me most of the time especially when younger. Taekwondo sounds like a great way to release the energy
Yes, I have been like this since elementary school. Unless I was shaking from the nerves, it wasn’t so obvious. In hindsight, I would say I was depressed and anxious by age 6 or 7, but going back in time, I was quite anxious at age 4 and 5.
Thank you for allowing us into your very personal space and seeing the deeper depths of what it means to be Thomas. It validates my experiences with mental health, ADHD and autism. It’s frustrating when “typicals”reply to my struggles as, “I’m not trying hard enough”, “i’m lazy”, and “everybody feels that way”. So, it’s comforting to hear your story and relate to it, knowing there are others out there who could sympathize with my experiences. Very tired of coworkers not realizing the extent of my struggles and the beauty of my mind.
for 21 years we went through a lot of the challenges never knowing my daughter was masking Aspergers, hypersensory. Life was a constant fight for her socially, She a brilliant learner but she could not express that her world is different from mine. Diagnosis for us opened her world and gave us ways to communicate much more effectively. She's also learning to navigate around her social limits and is figuring out the path to independence
My autistic son is 8 and he has really high anxiety in public and especially at school. I’m worried it will only get worse. Thank you tor sharing, I personally prefer to hear from young autistic adults as apposed to the “experts”. The info you are sharing is so appreciated.
Thomas can I just say I think Ur the most amazing and brilliantly smart human being I've ever met in my 40 years of life, I'm a mother to a autistic son he's 12 at the moment he's completely non verbal and is a great natured boy, so many things U articulated In the most clearest of forms alot of things that resonated to me as a mother and would with my son, I CANNOT thank U enough I'm so glad I found your channel ❣️ bless U for being U n sharing your truth and story U r the most beautiful human being thank you ❤️🙏
Hey, thanks for this video! As a late diagnosed autistic individual, I relate to many of your experiences very much. I've also been diagnosed with an anxiety panic disorder and have struggled with my mental health. I did not have a supportive family growing up, and not very much now either. Up until 5 years ago, I thought something was wrong. I didn't do well in any work environments, which added to my eventual breakdown. Also, turning 30, I was still living with my parents. I was bullied at church about it by well meaning individuals until I eventually stopped going to church. I hit such a low point that I knew I needed to ask for help. I had to seek help by myself without anyone in my family understanding. Even after finally getting an autism diagnosis, I had very minimal support. After years on a waiting list, I finally started getting some government assistance and can at least live on my own now. While that is an improvement, I've gradually become aware that I've been in burnout mode for the last 5 years, often struggling to do even my special interests. I've been meeting with councelors and a peer, but progress has been slow and difficult even getting myself to want to leave my apartment at all. It doesn't help that certain family members are pushy, tend to bully me, and gaslight me, treating my opinions like they're always wrong. I've been learning to set healthy boundaries, but I don’t want to cut ties with my family entirely. Half the time right now, I don't know how to deal with being awake.
I think i had depression. I really relate to the masking feeling like lying. In secondary i was pretty isolated, didn't have much of a social circle and in college i wanted to change that so before i started college i made a vow to 'beat' my autism but honestly it was one of the worst experiences in my life. Every i was so consumed with getting it right social i wouldn't really focus on my actual learning. I abandoned what i was truly interested in to fit in, i went to parties, i went outside quite a bit for someone like me but i just couldn't hack it (expect for that 1 day i actually performed well socially). I felt like a liar, like i was acting everyday. My personality kinda changed with each group so i could fit in, i was never true to myself at all. When id fail social people would notice. When i started college people liked me but as college continued people started to notice i was werid and took advantage of me for it. Sometimes id be made a laughing stock or a target to poke fun at in some social way i don't understand. My social skills got worse actual. I increasingly felt like i couldn't read social situations and the amount of anxiety I'd get about thinking i have to go outside was paralysing. One day i didnt even turn up to college because of anxiety. This lead to my 3 year isolation stint. Instead of joining the military as i planned. I just stayed home, i didnt want to do anything anymore, i didnt want to have anything to do with the outside world, i just wanted to escape and leave, hoping id die in my sleep or something. I wanted silence and peace, i didnt want the stress of being alive because being alive just felt like a challenge. I'd go weeks without showering and couldn't even motivate myself to brush my teeth or anything. I thought i was being lazy but looking back on it now (as im starting uni now) i was just burnt out and really depressed. Im kind of scared to look back in detail and see the extent of how bad things where for me because my depression is probably a lot more serious than i thought. I thought depression was feeling sad all day but it's not necessarily, its not even having the will to get out of your bed because what is the point. Most things in my life have been negative and ive never actually been successful so what was the point? I may aswell wither away, at least i dont have to go outside, it feela horrible. I didn't understand my mind yet i tried to do things that it couldn't and it resulted in me completely isolating myself at home, playing video games, eating snacks and watching porn, lots and lots of porn. I fully submerged myself in fantasy and escapism. I was (and still am) afraid of outside. After my experience in college i never wanted to leave the house and socialise, i just find it too difficult and taxing on my mind.
Thank you. This helped me understand this person I met during a road trip. Everything you mentioned in your life mirrored his. Looking forward to more of your experience
So much of your story could be mine. I was diagnosed autistic a month ago and I'm finding so much information on your channel along with Orion Kelly's. You're doing a great job and you are a fantastic person and content creator.
Combat sports are a great one man I’ve been boxing since March last year and I wish I had started years ago it’s so good for you in every way, man you have accomplished so much it’s giving me mad inspiration
So I’ve just started the process to get a diagnosis. I’m 33, I’ve had a lot of difficulties throughout my life and I believe that if I was from an area further south when I was younger, I would have been screened for autism. I came from a small village in a northern part of mainland Scotland. Things are slow to change in that area for a variety of reasons. I was take to a speech therapist as a child because I spoke so in frequently and I had a sensitivity to loud noises, clothes like jeans, wooly jumpers and tags. “Fussy” eater. I can’t stand bitter foods and some textures. Fidget, incessant biting of nails, bouncing legs etc. Then there’s all of the social problems. I’d like to say that there is so much of your past that is so closely similar to mine, experiences and thoughts that I’ve found it reassuring. I’ve been doubting myself a lot lately. I’ve had a family member, 8ish years ago, telling me that she thought I was. Others have since said the same including my wife. I personally didn’t believe here but I do believe there was something different about me. I went from researching at introverts, psychopaths, narcissists and more but nothing ever fit. I did look at autism but not deeply enough. I had a major breakdown in December, lasting till early this month, that I concealed as much as possible, to eventually explode over nothing. It has almost cost me my marriage. Because of how wonderful my wife is, she has pushed me into getting a diagnosis. I’ve done so much research now but although a lot of the criteria does match , I can’t help but down play it. I’ll look at some people’s experiences and find traits that don’t match with my experience and I can’t help but dissociate myself from the thought of actually being autistic. Your video has helped me so much in making me finally accept that this maybe what I am. Thank you so much for sharing.
19:04 I relate to this a lot, I had the same issue with ADHD. When I first tried to get a 504 or IEP around age 14, the school admin was confused because I was always an overachiever and got good grades. "Ryan? ADHD? What are you talking about? Look at his grades!" but they never saw the hours and hours every night I spent at home trying to finish my work. Thank you for this video, it was really insightful
NGL, watching the footage of you as that dear little boy, knowing the kind of crap that poor kid would get later, broke me a little bit. I was diagnosed with ADHD last year, now I have that medicated, it's looking like I'm also autistic. Your experiences of secondary school and university resonated with me a great deal, although during my version of that, I wasn't diagnosed. Having no idea why I wasn't able to do all the things I saw my peers doing so easily, I beat myself up mercilessly, and spent the subsequent 2 and a half decades numbed on SSRIs to prevent the unaliving.
When I got "left behind" socially in late junior high, I became an armchair anthropologist. I even made friends with some people who I considered quintessentially "normal"--just to try to figure out what made them tick (I never did). I had a best friend, born around the same time as me, no doubt also autistic. We got into absurdism--Beckett, Ionesco--and wrote absurdist plays together. I wasn't bullied, but considered myself so different from others that I sort of identified as an ET, as did my friend. My license plate for years was KLAATU--the alien in The Day the Earth Stood Still. I had periodic shutdowns, but never meltdowns. I also struggled with panic attacks, but once I eliminated milk and gluten from my diet I've never had another panic attack and was able to get off of the anti-anxiety meds--which never worked anyway. Thanks a lot for your honesty. You come to your work from a very good place.
What a story! Thank you for sharing. You're one of the few comforting voices online out there that keep me going, especially at shut/melt downers. Now I can say "I feel you" with much more meaning to it. 🙏
At least you have decent parents thats good. I have autism and no support in my life, everyday is another day in hell in which i understand no one and anytime i ask for help I am ignored by society business, Doctors
Listening to you has been very difficult. It's painful looking back and, just how much of myself i could not accept and the internalized cruelty i subjected myself to. I had zero compassion. "Just try harder! How are you this stupid? What's wrong with you?" Now it's hard to think i missed the answer for so long. 5 years ago i had the inkling of a suspicion it may be autism, i think it was literally like a BuzzFeed quiz or something. I told my then gf and she looked at me like i was crazy and she said no, so i just accepted that i was being silly and looking for an excuse. She knew as much as i did about Autism, i don't know why i thought her opinion mattered. Thank you.
Wow. What an extremely articulate and interesting story of your life thus far... you should be so proud of yourself . I identify with your struggle too. I am pretty sure i am Autistic. At 61, i have only recently come to this realisation? Watching your videos are so informative. Thank you and i wish you well. Xx
Thank you for this video Thomas. Suspected I was autistic last year, went deep dive researching all I could about it, and finally got my formal diagnosis 3 weeks ago at the age of 28. Still struggling with the autistic impostor syndrome currently though. Still watching in parts but I must say your story is pretty relatable and it is really reassuring to see the similarities our experiences growing up even though we come from different cultures and were diagnosed at different ages. Thank you for all of that. I imagine it must have been difficult to make such a video talking about vulnerabilities and past experiences. Your videos are great btw. I've been watching many of them in the past weeks in the background and processing my own emotions in what I feel its a good way :)
hey thats pretty much my experience too. diagnosed in nov at 28. totally agree with everything you said, and thanks thomas for sharing your experiences
Im going to try to get my 9 year old son to watch part of this. He is doing GJJ and get easily discouraged but we know that once he hits grade 6 he will need the outlet. The video also reminded me about how I became in high school. I did a program that allowed me to take college classes at the local junior college and was also grew up and was still part of a high demand religion. At the time I attributed my loner-ness to that. But the reality was I had no idea how to socialize with kids my age.
I was undiagnosed till 42, I was also a class clown once the bullying cleared 4th grade till a puberty school avoidance depression Meltdown Town, yes, never got good sleep, from nightterrors when real young to later waking up, and being awful , and my mind would race in the morning before school, that killed the academic spirit
Like you, nihilistic now, though I was more optimistic Buddhist when college age and that me through more, later it was alcoholism, and now total schopenhaier pessimist, but yeah its difficult to enjoy life, for sure
May I suggest shorter videos, perhaps. My particular AuDHD, with other NeuroSpicy conditions (DID, etc…), complicate my ability to sustain attendance and attention and retention. I am appreciative of your work. Thank you.
Massive respect for your sharing of your your experience; I both see you, and feel seen. Your channel helped me on my diagnosis journey, and I share it to help others. The world is better with you in it. 😊 Here is a duck, because, why not! 🦆
The whole developing mental illness but among the entire video was entirely my life as well. Glad I found your channel long ago. Just got my fully legit all day assessment a few days ago too. He just finished a video call with my roommate as well who also was the one who drove me to the assessment and remained with me until any moment he couldn’t be in the room at certain times. Was fun though. The guy will be calling my mom again too to have a similar thing like he did with my elder roommate.
Thank you for sharing your story. I can relete so much about with the horrible time in secondary school, the bulllling and feeling disconnected with myself and the others, depression also to the unbearable point of wanting to end things. I am in the process of exploring if I might be autustic myself. Oh, I am also bad at keeping myself hidrated.
The celebrities I loved and related too was Richard Faynman (he thinks in a very similar way to me) and Graeme Obree because I love cycling, I'm gay and have mental health issues like he suffered from (like the suicidal tendencies).
sad to have missed this live thomas really enjoy interacting with u all ~ yet still not getting notices n mayb not even registering in the comments again ~so i just go play by myself as usual que sera eh!12:11Am1/19/2024
❤. Love this video. I really like all your videos. You are very relaxing to listen to. I'm not very tech savy. I want to press the like button on all the one's I've seen. But I watch them on U Tube on my TV. I actually often just put your videos on to relax me. It's just so nice to see someone who speaks so intelligently and with so much empathy, at the same time. I've watched alot of U tubers making Autism content. I find yours by far the easiest, most comforting and most relaxing to watch. Your voice and your calmness are very unique compared to alot of other channels I've seen. When I'm stressed or depressed, I will pick a video off your Chanel to watch every time. Even if I've watched the same one more than a couple of times. I'll just pick one of my favourite video's and it helps me alot to feel better. I'm so glad I found your Chanel. It's by far my favourite one. Congratulations on doing such great work. And props to you for being such a nice guy. It's refreshing. 💯🧜♀️👌🐱
thanks a lot for creating and sharing this vid, it's great hearing about other people's experiences with being autistic and I can definitely relate to how difficult it felt being autistic and struggling through secondary school a few years ago 😅
Hi I love your channel I relate to a lot of what you say. Even though am quite a lot older than you. And am of a different generation. And am female. You have a friendly out look on life. Keep up the good work Hazel
THANK YOU for sharing your story! I really enjoyed listening to your eloquent speaking, and you did a fantastic job covering enough detail yet across such a span of time, that I feel like I know you - brother from another mother! I'm very sorry for the injury treatment with Inadequate anesthetic. I've been through similar a couple of specific times, once as a young child and the other as a middle-aged adult. I honestly haven't the foggiest clue how people in the helping professions can just plow ahead when the numbing is available (it's not like you're out in the woods somewhere, I mean come on!), and it would be so much easier for them to do their jobs. SMH 😮 I'm also sorry for the severe bullying, I'm shocked that kind of behavior went on and was tolerated (here in the states the adults in schools are too afraid of being sued to take action. Is that a possible issue there as well?).
Thomas this is so incredibly helpful to me. My young neice is waiting a for diagnoses and as you know 2 year wait list. Can I ask, do you find it difficult to go back in time and talk about these things?
I’m super glad Meryl! It is fairly difficult, I have a few mental blocks around specific events as I was heavily dissociated for much of my teenage/early-adult life
It’s really interesting to hear the story of an early diagnosis, just goes to show grass isn’t greener on the other side. I really related to the nihilism bit. Currently going through my own existential crisis, and nihilism is a big part of it. It’s getting better though. I am really encouraged by all you’ve done and achieved and built, in spite of your ongoing mental health struggles. It gives me hope that I can do the same ^_^
@@heylisten7266 I'd like to challenge the argument of nihilism. Dostoyevsky influenced Nietzsche/ Jordan Peterson because his books had the spiritual (non nihilistic ) hero. "Love and forgiveness brings heaven on Earth" is Dostoyevsky's answer to existential crisis. Love is forgiveness. The idea of nihilism and existentialism is to describe the meaning of life and the afterlife. The combination of Christian and Buddhism is a guru named Jabaji who explained the importance of combining meditation/veganism/Kali yuga age of materialism with the Christian/ Hegelian dialectic/ Trinity. Karma and eternal consciousness in heaven are allegorical to living life with "meaning" which is to "help" others. Our civilization starts with animal husbandry requiring artificially inseminating animals, removing the babies from the parents, killing the males, harvesting eggs, milk, and flesh. The abuse of enslaving animals spills into our society. All abuses discovered in our society is caused by 500 generations of animal husbandry. Today we can eat vegan which reduces the energy consumption by a factor of 30. 1 animal calorie is equal to 30 plant calories. A vegan in the US will require 30 times less illegal Mexican slaves to harvest the crops vs. eating animals/ animal husbandry. Yoav Galant (leader of Israeli Army) said the Palestinians are "animals". If we give animals rights we give humans rights as well. Nihilism is allowing exploitation. On the contrary spirituality is the recognition of abuse and protecting rights with laws.
Thanks Thomas, this was a very interesting video and we have more in common than I thought. I have enjoyed your autism content for the past year or so.
I relate to becoming the class clown I wish I never did "The angry monkey" at school. I did it during break time at first and found other kids found it funny but then all of the other kids pressured me to do it during class. I'd basically pretend to be a monkey that was sad and crying, the sadness turns into anger and then the monkey goes berserk 🫢. It caused me allot of issues before I got the confidence to just say no to the other kids.
Thanks so much for sharing, wish you every happiness… going through this with a teenager at the moment, it’s very difficult… any tips to help with shut down, depression, social humiliation.. Looking into belief coding thinking this might help
Mild as a clinical term is not the same mild as a colloquial term. If anxiety can be rated 1-10, non clinical levels of anxiety are rated 1-7. Mild anxiety is an 8, moderate a 9 and severe a 10. "Mild" is still a very high amount of anxiety!
I have watched enough of your content now, that I could just stare at your face forever, thinking how handsome you are. I am sure this obsession will subside, as it usually does, but I just wanted to tell you that you are considered very handsome by this random stranger from the internet XD
There's not really that much 'interesting' about the majority of NT-Type people, most especially from the perspective of an ND-Type individual besides Pain, Sorrow, Competition, Comparisons and the never ending vampiric transaction of energy
Your story is so compelling and at the same time heart wrenching. You have accomplished so much in your life and your achievements in martial arts, body building and academics really inspire me. You have also endured so many hardships. Your parents are so amazing too. It’s so heartwarming to hear their voices in the old video clips. I can hear how much they love you and are so supportive and encouraging with their words and expressions.
I am so sad that you have been going through the mental health challenges that you have. I can really relate to some of your struggles especially the feeling that you’re outside looking at a performance and trying to figure it out. This was my experience at about the same time in my life, at about 11 or 12 all of the other kids seemed to know what to do in more complex social situations and I didn’t . I remember awkwardly eating my lunch alone because I didn’t know how to find my people.
Really enjoying your content. Keep it up!
Being outwardly calm as a clam, yet internally a raging storm…that’s very relatable. That was me most of the time especially when younger. Taekwondo sounds like a great way to release the energy
Wow, definitely relatable...still Lol to keep from crying.
Yes, I have been like this since elementary school. Unless I was shaking from the nerves, it wasn’t so obvious.
In hindsight, I would say I was depressed and anxious by age 6 or 7, but going back in time, I was quite anxious at age 4 and 5.
@ThomasHenley is it because we express emotions differently than NT folks that how we are feeling often goes unnoticed?
@@AndrewUtz3I would say yes. I feel like that is something that society needs to recognize.
Still am like that, anywhere outside of home at least.
Thank you for allowing us into your very personal space and seeing the deeper depths of what it means to be Thomas.
It validates my experiences with mental health, ADHD and autism. It’s frustrating when “typicals”reply to my struggles as, “I’m not trying hard enough”, “i’m lazy”, and “everybody feels that way”. So, it’s comforting to hear your story and relate to it, knowing there are others out there who could sympathize with my experiences. Very tired of coworkers not realizing the extent of my struggles and the beauty of my mind.
So need a reminder to hydrate 👍 fellow autistic and adhder
Start of the video, I was sipping on my coffee. Does that count as hydration? haha
But seriously, your story is very relatable. Also, ADORABLE BABY!
Totally! The water content of coffee outweighs the dehydrating effect of the caffeine.
Thanks so much, and I know right I almost forget that it’s me 😂
I like how you said “drink something” not “drink water” 😂 I might drink more water if more people put it that way
for 21 years we went through a lot of the challenges never knowing my daughter was masking Aspergers, hypersensory. Life was a constant fight for her socially, She a brilliant learner but she could not express that her world is different from mine. Diagnosis for us opened her world and gave us ways to communicate much more effectively. She's also learning to navigate around her social limits and is figuring out the path to independence
Kudos to your parents, dealing with your diagnosis as a matter of fact without all the wailing and "my baby's broken".
My autistic son is 8 and he has really high anxiety in public and especially at school. I’m worried it will only get worse. Thank you tor sharing, I personally prefer to hear from young autistic adults as apposed to the “experts”. The info you are sharing is so appreciated.
A weighted blanket can help and some good earbuds. Have a good day
@@EdmundsJourney thanks! We just got him earbuds this weekend and I will try the weighted blanket also. Thanks for the tips!
You are an admirable man, doing admirable work.
Thank you.
Thomas can I just say I think Ur the most amazing and brilliantly smart human being I've ever met in my 40 years of life, I'm a mother to a autistic son he's 12 at the moment he's completely non verbal and is a great natured boy, so many things U articulated In the most clearest of forms alot of things that resonated to me as a mother and would with my son, I CANNOT thank U enough I'm so glad I found your channel ❣️ bless U for being U n sharing your truth and story U r the most beautiful human being thank you ❤️🙏
I’m a teenage girl myself and I relate to this story a lot
Hey, thanks for this video! As a late diagnosed autistic individual, I relate to many of your experiences very much. I've also been diagnosed with an anxiety panic disorder and have struggled with my mental health. I did not have a supportive family growing up, and not very much now either. Up until 5 years ago, I thought something was wrong. I didn't do well in any work environments, which added to my eventual breakdown. Also, turning 30, I was still living with my parents. I was bullied at church about it by well meaning individuals until I eventually stopped going to church. I hit such a low point that I knew I needed to ask for help. I had to seek help by myself without anyone in my family understanding. Even after finally getting an autism diagnosis, I had very minimal support. After years on a waiting list, I finally started getting some government assistance and can at least live on my own now. While that is an improvement, I've gradually become aware that I've been in burnout mode for the last 5 years, often struggling to do even my special interests. I've been meeting with councelors and a peer, but progress has been slow and difficult even getting myself to want to leave my apartment at all. It doesn't help that certain family members are pushy, tend to bully me, and gaslight me, treating my opinions like they're always wrong. I've been learning to set healthy boundaries, but I don’t want to cut ties with my family entirely. Half the time right now, I don't know how to deal with being awake.
I think i had depression.
I really relate to the masking feeling like lying. In secondary i was pretty isolated, didn't have much of a social circle and in college i wanted to change that so before i started college i made a vow to 'beat' my autism but honestly it was one of the worst experiences in my life. Every i was so consumed with getting it right social i wouldn't really focus on my actual learning. I abandoned what i was truly interested in to fit in, i went to parties, i went outside quite a bit for someone like me but i just couldn't hack it (expect for that 1 day i actually performed well socially). I felt like a liar, like i was acting everyday. My personality kinda changed with each group so i could fit in, i was never true to myself at all. When id fail social people would notice. When i started college people liked me but as college continued people started to notice i was werid and took advantage of me for it. Sometimes id be made a laughing stock or a target to poke fun at in some social way i don't understand. My social skills got worse actual. I increasingly felt like i couldn't read social situations and the amount of anxiety I'd get about thinking i have to go outside was paralysing. One day i didnt even turn up to college because of anxiety. This lead to my 3 year isolation stint.
Instead of joining the military as i planned. I just stayed home, i didnt want to do anything anymore, i didnt want to have anything to do with the outside world, i just wanted to escape and leave, hoping id die in my sleep or something. I wanted silence and peace, i didnt want the stress of being alive because being alive just felt like a challenge. I'd go weeks without showering and couldn't even motivate myself to brush my teeth or anything. I thought i was being lazy but looking back on it now (as im starting uni now) i was just burnt out and really depressed. Im kind of scared to look back in detail and see the extent of how bad things where for me because my depression is probably a lot more serious than i thought. I thought depression was feeling sad all day but it's not necessarily, its not even having the will to get out of your bed because what is the point. Most things in my life have been negative and ive never actually been successful so what was the point? I may aswell wither away, at least i dont have to go outside, it feela horrible. I didn't understand my mind yet i tried to do things that it couldn't and it resulted in me completely isolating myself at home, playing video games, eating snacks and watching porn, lots and lots of porn. I fully submerged myself in fantasy and escapism. I was (and still am) afraid of outside. After my experience in college i never wanted to leave the house and socialise, i just find it too difficult and taxing on my mind.
Thank you. This helped me understand this person I met during a road trip. Everything you mentioned in your life mirrored his. Looking forward to more of your experience
So much of your story could be mine. I was diagnosed autistic a month ago and I'm finding so much information on your channel along with Orion Kelly's. You're doing a great job and you are a fantastic person and content creator.
Combat sports are a great one man I’ve been boxing since March last year and I wish I had started years ago it’s so good for you in every way, man you have accomplished so much it’s giving me mad inspiration
So I’ve just started the process to get a diagnosis. I’m 33, I’ve had a lot of difficulties throughout my life and I believe that if I was from an area further south when I was younger, I would have been screened for autism. I came from a small village in a northern part of mainland Scotland. Things are slow to change in that area for a variety of reasons. I was take to a speech therapist as a child because I spoke so in frequently and I had a sensitivity to loud noises, clothes like jeans, wooly jumpers and tags. “Fussy” eater. I can’t stand bitter foods and some textures. Fidget, incessant biting of nails, bouncing legs etc. Then there’s all of the social problems.
I’d like to say that there is so much of your past that is so closely similar to mine, experiences and thoughts that I’ve found it reassuring. I’ve been doubting myself a lot lately. I’ve had a family member, 8ish years ago, telling me that she thought I was. Others have since said the same including my wife. I personally didn’t believe here but I do believe there was something different about me. I went from researching at introverts, psychopaths, narcissists and more but nothing ever fit. I did look at autism but not deeply enough.
I had a major breakdown in December, lasting till early this month, that I concealed as much as possible, to eventually explode over nothing. It has almost cost me my marriage. Because of how wonderful my wife is, she has pushed me into getting a diagnosis. I’ve done so much research now but although a lot of the criteria does match , I can’t help but down play it. I’ll look at some people’s experiences and find traits that don’t match with my experience and I can’t help but dissociate myself from the thought of actually being autistic. Your video has helped me so much in making me finally accept that this maybe what I am.
Thank you so much for sharing.
19:04 I relate to this a lot, I had the same issue with ADHD. When I first tried to get a 504 or IEP around age 14, the school admin was confused because I was always an overachiever and got good grades.
"Ryan? ADHD? What are you talking about? Look at his grades!" but they never saw the hours and hours every night I spent at home trying to finish my work.
Thank you for this video, it was really insightful
NGL, watching the footage of you as that dear little boy, knowing the kind of crap that poor kid would get later, broke me a little bit.
I was diagnosed with ADHD last year, now I have that medicated, it's looking like I'm also autistic. Your experiences of secondary school and university resonated with me a great deal, although during my version of that, I wasn't diagnosed.
Having no idea why I wasn't able to do all the things I saw my peers doing so easily, I beat myself up mercilessly, and spent the subsequent 2 and a half decades numbed on SSRIs to prevent the unaliving.
When I got "left behind" socially in late junior high, I became an armchair anthropologist. I even made friends with some people who I considered quintessentially "normal"--just to try to figure out what made them tick (I never did). I had a best friend, born around the same time as me, no doubt also autistic. We got into absurdism--Beckett, Ionesco--and wrote absurdist plays together. I wasn't bullied, but considered myself so different from others that I sort of identified as an ET, as did my friend. My license plate for years was KLAATU--the alien in The Day the Earth Stood Still. I had periodic shutdowns, but never meltdowns. I also struggled with panic attacks, but once I eliminated milk and gluten from my diet I've never had another panic attack and was able to get off of the anti-anxiety meds--which never worked anyway. Thanks a lot for your honesty. You come to your work from a very good place.
What a story! Thank you for sharing. You're one of the few comforting voices online out there that keep me going, especially at shut/melt downers. Now I can say "I feel you" with much more meaning to it. 🙏
I truly enjoyed your story. I could relate to a lot of what you went through. Thank you for sharing❤
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I was diagnosed at 28 :/ what a ride. Anyways thank you for sharing and the effort.
Great video buddy!
P.S I didn’t know you really hated me that much at that time 😆
At least you have decent parents thats good. I have autism and no support in my life, everyday is another day in hell in which i understand no one and anytime i ask for help I am ignored by society business, Doctors
Listening to you has been very difficult. It's painful looking back and, just how much of myself i could not accept and the internalized cruelty i subjected myself to. I had zero compassion. "Just try harder! How are you this stupid? What's wrong with you?" Now it's hard to think i missed the answer for so long. 5 years ago i had the inkling of a suspicion it may be autism, i think it was literally like a BuzzFeed quiz or something. I told my then gf and she looked at me like i was crazy and she said no, so i just accepted that i was being silly and looking for an excuse. She knew as much as i did about Autism, i don't know why i thought her opinion mattered. Thank you.
Thanks
Oh my lord, I'm so sorry I didnt reply to this! TH-cam is a bit funny sometimes with showing me notifications... thank you so much though I'm in awe!
Wow. What an extremely articulate and interesting story of your life thus far... you should be so proud of yourself . I identify with your struggle too. I am pretty sure i am Autistic. At 61, i have only recently come to this realisation? Watching your videos are so informative. Thank you and i wish you well. Xx
Thank you for this video Thomas.
Suspected I was autistic last year, went deep dive researching all I could about it, and finally got my formal diagnosis 3 weeks ago at the age of 28.
Still struggling with the autistic impostor syndrome currently though.
Still watching in parts but I must say your story is pretty relatable and it is really reassuring to see the similarities our experiences growing up even though we come from different cultures and were diagnosed at different ages.
Thank you for all of that. I imagine it must have been difficult to make such a video talking about vulnerabilities and past experiences.
Your videos are great btw. I've been watching many of them in the past weeks in the background and processing my own emotions in what I feel its a good way :)
hey thats pretty much my experience too. diagnosed in nov at 28. totally agree with everything you said, and thanks thomas for sharing your experiences
Are you from Albuquerque?
Great podcast, Thomas. I appreciate all the insights of your journey. Your values will guide you to a very fulfilling life.
Very helpful.
Im going to try to get my 9 year old son to watch part of this. He is doing GJJ and get easily discouraged but we know that once he hits grade 6 he will need the outlet. The video also reminded me about how I became in high school. I did a program that allowed me to take college classes at the local junior college and was also grew up and was still part of a high demand religion. At the time I attributed my loner-ness to that. But the reality was I had no idea how to socialize with kids my age.
I was undiagnosed till 42, I was also a class clown once the bullying cleared 4th grade till a puberty school avoidance depression Meltdown Town, yes, never got good sleep, from nightterrors when real young to later waking up, and being awful , and my mind would race in the morning before school, that killed the academic spirit
Like you, nihilistic now, though I was more optimistic Buddhist when college age and that me through more, later it was alcoholism, and now total schopenhaier pessimist, but yeah its difficult to enjoy life, for sure
May I suggest shorter videos, perhaps. My particular AuDHD, with other NeuroSpicy conditions (DID, etc…), complicate my ability to sustain attendance and attention and retention. I am appreciative of your work. Thank you.
Massive respect for your sharing of your your experience; I both see you, and feel seen. Your channel helped me on my diagnosis journey, and I share it to help others. The world is better with you in it. 😊 Here is a duck, because, why not! 🦆
The whole developing mental illness but among the entire video was entirely my life as well. Glad I found your channel long ago. Just got my fully legit all day assessment a few days ago too. He just finished a video call with my roommate as well who also was the one who drove me to the assessment and remained with me until any moment he couldn’t be in the room at certain times. Was fun though. The guy will be calling my mom again too to have a similar thing like he did with my elder roommate.
400hr Pokémon emerald run, so relatable!
Thank you for sharing your story. I can relete so much about with the horrible time in secondary school, the bulllling and feeling disconnected with myself and the others, depression also to the unbearable point of wanting to end things. I am in the process of exploring if I might be autustic myself. Oh, I am also bad at keeping myself hidrated.
I used to build lego houses and fill them with garden spiders (Araneus diadematus) out of the garden 😂
I got a bit freaked out about handling them after one tried to bite me.
Thank you so much for sharing your vulnerability
Love this video, dude.
I had similar experiences in college. Shit was rough.
The celebrities I loved and related too was Richard Faynman (he thinks in a very similar way to me) and Graeme Obree because I love cycling, I'm gay and have mental health issues like he suffered from (like the suicidal tendencies).
sad to have missed this live thomas really enjoy interacting with u all ~ yet still not getting notices n mayb not even registering in the comments again ~so i just go play by myself as usual que sera eh!12:11Am1/19/2024
❤. Love this video. I really like all your videos. You are very relaxing to listen to. I'm not very tech savy. I want to press the like button on all the one's I've seen. But I watch them on U Tube on my TV. I actually often just put your videos on to relax me. It's just so nice to see someone who speaks so intelligently and with so much empathy, at the same time. I've watched alot of U tubers making Autism content. I find yours by far the easiest, most comforting and most relaxing to watch. Your voice and your calmness are very unique compared to alot of other channels I've seen. When I'm stressed or depressed, I will pick a video off your Chanel to watch every time. Even if I've watched the same one more than a couple of times. I'll just pick one of my favourite video's and it helps me alot to feel better. I'm so glad I found your Chanel. It's by far my favourite one. Congratulations on doing such great work. And props to you for being such a nice guy. It's refreshing. 💯🧜♀️👌🐱
This was very relatable and vulnerable thank you for sharing
thanks a lot for creating and sharing this vid, it's great hearing about other people's experiences with being autistic and I can definitely relate to how difficult it felt being autistic and struggling through secondary school a few years ago 😅
Hi I love your channel I relate to a lot of what you say. Even though am quite a lot older than you. And am of a different generation. And am female. You have a friendly out look on life. Keep up the good work Hazel
Your sweater jumper is lovely!
THANK YOU for sharing your story! I really enjoyed listening to your eloquent speaking, and you did a fantastic job covering enough detail yet across such a span of time, that I feel like I know you - brother from another mother!
I'm very sorry for the injury treatment with Inadequate anesthetic. I've been through similar a couple of specific times, once as a young child and the other as a middle-aged adult. I honestly haven't the foggiest clue how people in the helping professions can just plow ahead when the numbing is available (it's not like you're out in the woods somewhere, I mean come on!), and it would be so much easier for them to do their jobs. SMH 😮
I'm also sorry for the severe bullying, I'm shocked that kind of behavior went on and was tolerated (here in the states the adults in schools are too afraid of being sued to take action. Is that a possible issue there as well?).
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Thomas this is so incredibly helpful to me. My young neice is waiting a for diagnoses and as you know 2 year wait list. Can I ask, do you find it difficult to go back in time and talk about these things?
I’m super glad Meryl! It is fairly difficult, I have a few mental blocks around specific events as I was heavily dissociated for much of my teenage/early-adult life
Thank you for sharing i can tell people love you very much. Have a good day
🙏 thank you Thomas for being so open and generous with your story. ❤
Such a cute child!
It’s really interesting to hear the story of an early diagnosis, just goes to show grass isn’t greener on the other side. I really related to the nihilism bit. Currently going through my own existential crisis, and nihilism is a big part of it. It’s getting better though. I am really encouraged by all you’ve done and achieved and built, in spite of your ongoing mental health struggles. It gives me hope that I can do the same ^_^
@@heylisten7266 I'd like to challenge the argument of nihilism. Dostoyevsky influenced Nietzsche/ Jordan Peterson because his books had the spiritual (non nihilistic ) hero. "Love and forgiveness brings heaven on Earth" is Dostoyevsky's answer to existential crisis. Love is forgiveness.
The idea of nihilism and existentialism is to describe the meaning of life and the afterlife. The combination of Christian and Buddhism is a guru named Jabaji who explained the importance of combining meditation/veganism/Kali yuga age of materialism with the Christian/ Hegelian dialectic/ Trinity.
Karma and eternal consciousness in heaven are allegorical to living life with "meaning" which is to "help" others.
Our civilization starts with animal husbandry requiring artificially inseminating animals, removing the babies from the parents, killing the males, harvesting eggs, milk, and flesh. The abuse of enslaving animals spills into our society. All abuses discovered in our society is caused by 500 generations of animal husbandry. Today we can eat vegan which reduces the energy consumption by a factor of 30. 1 animal calorie is equal to 30 plant calories. A vegan in the US will require 30 times less illegal Mexican slaves to harvest the crops vs. eating animals/ animal husbandry.
Yoav Galant (leader of Israeli Army) said the Palestinians are "animals". If we give animals rights we give humans rights as well.
Nihilism is allowing exploitation. On the contrary spirituality is the recognition of abuse and protecting rights with laws.
Omg little baby & toddler Thomas was utterly adorable lol!
I know! I can hardly believe it’s me 🤣
Thank you for sharing this! ❤
Thanks Thomas, this was a very interesting video and we have more in common than I thought. I have enjoyed your autism content for the past year or so.
I relate to becoming the class clown I wish I never did "The angry monkey" at school. I did it during break time at first and found other kids found it funny but then all of the other kids pressured me to do it during class. I'd basically pretend to be a monkey that was sad and crying, the sadness turns into anger and then the monkey goes berserk 🫢. It caused me allot of issues before I got the confidence to just say no to the other kids.
Dang, this was uploaded twelve days ago? How did I not see it?
Oh, yeah, been sick, still am. Been sleeping mostly...but dang! 😫
It was indeed! Did a premiere and all haha
You were such an adorable little kid! Maybe one day you'll have little ones of your own.
Like maybe quintuplets or something! 🤣
This has been a lovely look at your life Thomas. Thanks for showing us. 👍
Thanks Pedro! 🙌🏻
Thanks so much for sharing, wish you every happiness… going through this with a teenager at the moment, it’s very difficult… any tips to help with shut down, depression, social humiliation.. Looking into belief coding thinking this might help
I loved hearing the story Thomas. I’ll certainly take what I’ve learnt into my life and again thank you for sharing it
Thank you so much dude, I appreciate you taking the time to hear my story 💪🏻
You’re welcome Thomas
Mild as a clinical term is not the same mild as a colloquial term. If anxiety can be rated 1-10, non clinical levels of anxiety are rated 1-7. Mild anxiety is an 8, moderate a 9 and severe a 10. "Mild" is still a very high amount of anxiety!
You would think doctors would be smart enough to come up with less confusing language.
great video was really nice for you to share about your life experiences
Thanks so much for sharing your story Thomas. All you have accomplished is amazing. Very inspiring. I love your videos ❤
THANK _ YOU _ 4 _ SHARING 🫡
Thank you Thomas. Your story is helpful to me it’s like, ok, I’m not the only one.
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I deeply appreciate you sharing this ❤ much love
I deeply appreciate you spending the time to hear my story!
Thank you for share your history ^^
Thank you for listening to my history! 😁
My SH would be punching myself in the head and punching other things much harder than my fists lmao
Great video man - glad you got through those experiences to be able to help others. A good guy but a bad ass mf with those taekwondo kicks 😀
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I have watched enough of your content now, that I could just stare at your face forever, thinking how handsome you are.
I am sure this obsession will subside, as it usually does, but I just wanted to tell you that you are considered very handsome by this random stranger from the internet XD
Agree! Very handsome and kind eyes 😊
Are you me?
There's not really that much 'interesting' about the majority of NT-Type people, most especially from the perspective of an ND-Type individual besides Pain, Sorrow, Competition, Comparisons and the never ending vampiric transaction of energy