CAN MARRIED MEN HAVE FEMALE FRIENDS?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 พ.ค. 2021
- Somebody asked me, what I would do if my wife had a problem with me having female friends?
As you know, this is a topic that I have first hand experience with due to me and my wife once being friends. So in my opinion I'm a great person to ask to answer this question.
To get straight to the point, I would completely understand if my wife said she didn't want me to have female friends. Why? Because I don't think that two attractive people can remain strictly platonic friends for too long. Maybe they can be associates, where they bump into each other and speak from time to time. But not the type of friends where they talk on the phone and hang out all the time. In my opinion, it would only be a matter of time before a line got crossed. Me and my wife were once friends and it ended up turning into a marriage! You gotta remember that lol. So I could see why she might feel a way about my other female friends.
I also want to be honest with you about something... I was respectful of my now wife's previous relationships, but it wasn't because I cared about the guy she was dating. It was purely because at the time I wasn't ready for a relationship. If I had gotten myself together while she was dating somebody and I saw an opportunity, I probably would've taken it. That's why it was best that we didn't talk as much when she was dating other guys. It definitely could've been a problem.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING!
CONNECT WITH ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
INSTAGRAM: theshumakew...
SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO:
EMAIL: ASKSHUMAKE@GMAIL.COM
Hit the subscribe button while you’re here 🤝
Yo bro why you take down the video about why you cut your hair? That was the video that got my subscription. I was just about to send it over to someone who is on the fence about cutting their hair right now.
Just want to correct you on something you said. Another person cannot be "stolen". People are not property. They do what they want to do. Please stop spreading that dangerous and toxic mentality.
Subscribed
As a single woman, if I befriend a man, I'm also befriending his woman. I'm going to respect their relationship, period. If he had my number, SHE had my number as well. Anything else is a recipe for disaster and I love my peace too much to allow anything to disrupt it.
Exactly! I do this as a married woman too. I work in the construction industry, so if I end up befriending any guy (which is very rare) he must meet my husband, and I insist to meet his wife/girlfriend. 💯
THANK YOU! I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY FEMALES AND DUDES DONT GET THIS!!! SMH
Well praise be! I thought i was the only prudish person in this area of life remaining on earth! Honestly, this is exactly me 100% upfront, but on the flip side...my ex partners female friends are his only...i never had thier numbers...never invited to 'helping them out' visits...and when the 'friends" visited us both always off key in my presence, cannot be themselves, i was made to feel like u was the lemon. Well you live and you learn I now know my worth and will guard it like gold diamonds and pearls no matter the outcome, take me or leave my boundaries are see i am who I am.
@@TheTif129 oh they do get it but prefer to keep thier options open usually narcassists, you will never be enough for them. These types will never have meaningful wholesome relationships as always looking for a third party to stroke thier egos even if their partner is a nun and angel rolled into one!
Agreed . I met one of my best friends through her husband . We worked together and he thought his wife and I would get along and we did .
If someone has a married "friend," and their spouse has no idea who you are, then they are NOT platonic friends!
As a single woman I would never claim a married man as my friend not even FB friends. I wouldn't even have conversations with him without the presence of his wife. Hey even when I see him in public it's hi & bye! 🙋🏿
That is the best way to go because so many men will make a pass at a woman even though he is married.
I know a lot of people who married their "best friends" that their significant other didn't have to worry about. I see nothing but facts
Excellent commentary. If a man has a bunch of female friends, I see that as a red flag and instantly become disinterested in him.
Thank you for this comment!!! You just helped me dodge a bullet before getting started with! Thank you.
@@Sweetheart0189 glad to be of help to you!
You got that right!
Me too
So so true! Even if you're platonic friends with the opposite sex one of y'all if not both of you will eventually have an attraction towards one another if the attraction wasn't already there from the start. I agree with you wholeheartedly.
True!
Yes I wonder why you would wanna be friends with someone who is with someone else unless there was an attraction for friendship there as well? I work with a lot of men because I drive buses. However none of their phone numbers are in my phone in case of emergencies or just to say hi. I don’t understand men who blame their women and say what you don’t trust me I’m so hurt by your distrust it’s so disrespectful to me. 💁🏽♀️. This is what I’m going through with my Christian/preacher husband?? He’s now not speaking to me because I asked him who the woman was that called him three times before he actually answered the phone.
My husband has more than you can imagine female friends. He does not allow me to have friends with any man… even if I never slept with them. He then goes on to say that he does not trust Men. However, he is a Man with numerous Female friends. His closest friend who he calls his SISTER he calls her all the time. He had a business partner who they talked all the time… and he is friends with her parents.. but swears that they never had sex. However, I can not even speak to … literally say hi to another man without being accused of cheating. Bringing that to the forefront will never be addressed honestly. We are currently separated and will probably get a divorce
Sometimes the problem isn't outside friends sometimes the problem is just that people are miserable in their marriage and they're looking for anyone to filll a void. However, you have to be really careful with having friends especially if there's attraction. I agree.
so true
At my last job this woman was complaining to a few other co-workers about how her long'term MALE best friend wife doesn't like her and don't want them at their wedding. It was so weird hearing her complain because it was like they were more than just friends. She ended up calling him and he was telling her how she been in his life for over 10 years and it's love. It honestly sounded like he was stressed and having a hard time choosing between his wife and his best female friend who. I kind of got angry and thought that maybe he should marry his friend and his wife should leave him. They definitely had some kind of romantic feelings at some point and any female friend that started off as something romantic I don't want them around period.
Prime example confirming the video content. I had same problem in my relationship and swore if the day came certain females would not be present as i wouldn't be able to bare thier presence having known and seen thier flirty interactions and seperate telephone and in person relationship, hence its best to not to entertain this is any relationship it will have sone bad effects somehow.
A real friend would never ask you to choose them over their fiancé. You KNOW that friend was entirely inappropriate and if the guy can’t make an easy decision of his fiancé, he shouldn’t be getting married!!
I was that female friend, knew him for 10 years and we always flirted but never got together, mostly because of distance. Before he got married, he told me he didn’t love her. I knew if I had said let’s go, we’d probably be together, but I couldn’t do it. They’re married and I’ve bowed out.
I don't mind my husband having female friends just as long as he understands that goes both ways. I can show him better than I can tell him. 🤷🏾♀️
right lmbo
❤❤❤❤❤
Y'all just playing games basically
@@travishall4740Exactly.. like relationships like that can’t be happy and healthy if everybody on the fence and on defense
@@mariee3658 we from a simpler time
I will never be friends with an ex. Some men or women desperately try to make friends with an ex even though they were the ones who did the ex wrong. They do this that way when things go south with their current partner, they have those exes on speed dial. Selfish!!!.
Exactly. Messy.
100% true
Narcissists/energy vampires do that 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
I totally agree wit you on this !!! I would never ever be friends wit somebody I once was in a relationship.wit Heck No !! I.can never be friends wit somebody who burned a bridge !!
@@melaninchocolate6552 period!!
You're such an Old Soul, Grandson! You have the Soul of the Older People that I used to like to hang around when I was a Child, Bless your Heart.
If you meet your future wife, drop all ex-gf contacts, cut-off all communication with wannabe gf's, and focus *solely* on the future mother of your kids. That's not rocket science, that's nesting biology.
I find it amazing that there are men on TH-cam giving relationship advice yet they are single and have had several heartbreaks, yet here you are giving sound advice and opinions and are happily married! Proof is in the pudding!
Speak!!! Never again will I claim a male to be a friend unless he's my husband 💯
@Idwood3237 Same here, the only female friend I will have in my life will be my wife.
Wise words, I know this to be true.
It helps to know that there are men out there that think this way. I had to walk away from my fiance over the fact that he kept wanting to make new female friends, more and more of them, and he was hiding them from me and didn't think there was anything wrong with that. Then he was making less time for me and more for them, telling THEM the problems he had with me rather than telling me so we could fix them and risking that these women weren't gonna convince him to break up with me for their benefit. And he saw how heartbroken I was and still prioritized them and said he'd let ME go if his friendships were hurting me that much. He insisted I was the "epicentre" of his world but by the end I wasn't even allowed to be an active part in it cuz I told him he would exclude me from the table with all his female friends and sure enough it's exactly what he did. He was absolutely emotionally cheating and he won't admit to himself he was because he can't handle allowing himself to accept the truth. And I was done hurting and disrespecting myself. Ten and a half years down the drain cuz he wanted to make a bunch of new women friends and hide them. I didn't deserve it. And I won't ever accept it. You're a good guy for having the boundaries you've had and have. And hopefully one day I find a partner who is similarly respectful.
Dani, hey...It is very sad to read your story 💔 and my heart goes out to you and breaks together with yours, because I know exactly the hell you been going through.💔 Very similar situation for us both 🔥It has been my reality for about 2 years now, the entirety of my relationship with someone I still love too much, with him having chosen to push me aside for the sake of cherishing and protecting his relationships with his married female bestie. She and her hubby were cold and quite rude from the 1st time of me meeting them. They claim to love my bf dearly so I couldn't and still cannot understand the cold treatment I received, being the girlfriend of their beloved friend. Her hubby insulted me on the first time of meeting me ever!! ( my bf doesn't know about it, coz I have only told him my pains about the woman and he has ridiculed me about it so I never got Courage to tell him about her hubby) He was rude and unfriendly For no reason and every other time after that just distant, does not want to talk, get to know, nada, both he and his wife remained totally disinterested to mingle with me. When I tried to tell this to my boyfriend, he brushed it off and told me I'm being insecure and jealous and need therapy (!!!) . While he was enjoying himself in those get-togethers they organized (I stopped attending after several times experiencing same coldness and them pretending to be too busy to talk with me, just totally having time to talk with other folks, and they pretended to not being able to communicate with me too, when they could all along perfectly understand and speak English but chose not to, to ostracize me in their own house parties, in front of my bf, to which he never reacted in any way), he did not care to address even once how those people avoided to talk to me and I can count on 1 hand those very few people who were friendly and open to talk to me, it was so nice, for a change,wow, while hosts of the party -his great friends- were being cold. Now we are practically broken up, most of our issues were over these friends..I still love him very much and just being a crying ugly mess for the last several months, grieving even for the crumbs of love i could get from him before he punished for speaking up with anger against his friendship with her..(yes, i got angry and emotional, is been too much too long and he just been watching this all going down, saying and doing NOTHING) and I KNOW for sure he would walk out on me if i was disregarding his love for me and feelings over my heterosexual male bestie, if I had one! If i did what he did to me, if I told him to hold my beer, while i party with my just a brother from another mother .. he (my bf) would not play, I know it, he would tell me bye!! but here he is trying to act like i have been a horrible gf for being sad, angry and crushed over this...and yeah, the Married bestie has removed now quite a bit herself from him since our relationship really started to crash down. She was always lingering around so knew//knows what mood he was in and how it was going between us and how it is going on presently coz he trust her with everything and tells everything. .before she was all over him , calling him any time of day/night. Now, when me and him are over, she knows that, she also has not much interest in him anymore like she used to. After all - mission accomplished.🔥She wanted to show me how she can take him if she wants to and yes, she can!!! he likes her too much. He chose to ignore how his own friends treated me from day 1, to avoid rocking the boat with them over me .. He chose to bask in his female friends attention, propping up his ego and self esteem while I was crying for him to stop drawing close to her and prioritize us and our relationship instead. I know if she was a true friend to him,like a real FRIEND, then she would embrace me so differently and be happy for us as a new couple and reach forward to get to know me, to befriend he 'bro''s girlfriend'' but instead - she made him her sole focus and he was always more than fine with it. It still hurts like mfkr, to this very hour..He has had no remorse, from what I know -in his stories now I'm the "crazy girlfriend" who was unreasonably jealous to his "just like a sister to me" woman friend. 💔 But How are You doing now? I send you hugs and much strength and peace to you and me in 2024, Dani 💛💛💛
I have a friend who is a male. We've known each other since we were 7 and 9 years old (I'm older). His parents and my mom are friends, and we grew up on the same block. We'd have dinner at each other's houses. He's literally like a little brother to me. People would ALWAYS ask why we never hooked up. Honestly, my homeboy is SUCH an asshole and I know waaayyy TOO much about his messy romantic life 🤣. After being pressured, in high school I just flat out asked him "have you ever thought about us being together?" His response: "That's hella gross Mill. You're my sister!" I fell out laughing! "No offense, but I just don't like you like that!" he continued. I was SO RELIEVED! So just like you said, if there's an ATTRACTION you CANNOT be friends. We're both married now and have families of our own. I've already written quite a bit, so I'll stop. I've realized our situation is unique. It doesn't apply to everyone 🤷🏾♀️
Respect is what it is about if u can let ur husband do it how would feel it's all about respect
I have a friend like that, but we got stinkin' drunk one night and hooked up (genuinely her idea, and I called it quits part-way through). We don't talk about that time, but ever since then I haven't been able to look at her the same.
Do you hang out one on one or are you just friends when you see each other at functions? Do you each initiate contact or are you just in the same community? Context makes a difference
Lol! The answer is yes, but only if you want to be divorced with 5 years.
Listen men and women can be friendly…acquaintances, or friends within a family or group circumstance, but there is NO way a man and woman should be close friends and hanging out one on one, while in a relationship with someone else. Too much temptation, too much complication. Even if you’re not attracted to each other it gets complicated because other people start flapping their gums and asking questions. Who needs the drama and risk to your primary relationship?
My husband and me are best friends, and we don't have of the opposite sex, and it's wrong and can lead to trouble.
My husband and I are close, before marriage and stronger after marriage, the longer we're together the closer we get emotionally, physically, and even spiritually as well.
My husband and I are like wolves, we partnered and married for life.
It is not wrong. My ex wife family destroyed my marriage. My ex fiance same sex friends was talking badly about my girl bestfriend when it was not true. My girl best friend did not like it. As time went on l. My girl best friend & my ex girl best friend did not got along. Same sex friends & family members can lead in to trouble too. My ex, her girl best friend & her friend(female) would not stop talking badly about my girl bestfriend.
Well said brother. Having a friend of the opposite sex is a very touchy situation especially in a marriage
It's impossible to be just friends with the opposite sex. It causes nothing but trouble and drama.
I lost my spouse of 31 yrs when I ask who on your cell. He would just say "a friend" for quiet bit w no name. I found out it was a woman he met off FB. They exchanged ph # to point of lengthy talking when he was not talker w me. He ran off w her I divorced him now he is dumping her. No opposites can't be friends.
Women be having they "work husbands"....
Lololol.. Its funny reading your comment. My mom is divorced and has been for a very long time. I went to her job 1 day and she pointed her work husband out. I don't know if he's married or in a relationship. I never knew that existed until she said that.
One woman I knew in college twitted that it was perfectly fine to flirt with and entertain a work husband. It's a childish need to want attention from the opposite sex just to sustain happiness. That happiness has to come from within.
What does it mean to have a "work husband "?
Yes v common for both sexe. familiarity brreeds contempt unless you stress your boundaries. I had a few work husbands strictly polite communication no lines blurred or crossed.
So true! I been on both sides!! Its not a game. Be friends with your partner that's another reason they are there!
I have to know more on this topic.
I really don't mind if my husband has female friends but what I do mind is that have just one female bestfriend who hates me without knowing me or accuses me of harassing her is a big NO NO. May God keep me away from such female friends 😔.
hey, what your husband says about his female friend being hateful to you?
You spoke nothing but FACTS! I don’t believe that a woman and man can b friends neither. I’ve never had a male friend neither, because of the simple fact that they’ve always tried to get with me.
I must be nieve asf. I got male friends, some have shown an interest but I’m not interested romantically or whatever. There has to be ‘chemistry’ you know. I’m a pretty direct person too. And I back my shit up. This did clear up a question I’ve wanted answered for awhile about a guys perspective. Your channel is dope man. Came across it accidentally. Love the integrity
I think communication is already hard enough to have female or male friends while in a relationship. I think it’s weird to be friends with a guy in a relationship if I’m single. I want my own man I don’t want to talk to someone else’s man lol! Now if it’s a business relationship that’s different.
Operative words: if there is attraction. The takeaway really is, that not everybody respects others' relationships enough to just be platonic friends with someone of the opposite sex. That's not bc they're men or bc they're women--that's bc of *that* *person*
Married men can have female friends if their wives can be friends with female friends’ husbands!
Lol! Here endeth the reading!
That's exactly what I said too.
I also married my male best friend. Short answer is a definite NO! LOL! It's just natural for feelings to grow between two individuals, even if they try to remain platonic.
exactly..human nature
GREAT ADVICE!!! Just drop em. Im tellin you you dont want that drama. It goes both ways tho.
Married couple friends married couples. Only friendship I see to work.
Yeah you're not lying. I am still trying to forgive someone for trying with a so called friend/friends. Man it's hard forgiving and working your best to understand why people move the way they do when you absolutely don't agree with it.
I support this message. Another female friend will ruined you life or your marriage. A man should avoid it. Be wise! DON'T HANG AROUND UNGODLY PEOPLE WHO LEAD YOU SIN OR HELL. NO KNEW FRIENDS NO NO NO...
It goes both ways. A married woman should not have a male friend. Don’t risk your healthy family for nonsense.
My ex wife family ruin my marriage. Men should have friends that are girls.
@@angelgarcia-ht9bl No man should have female friends. Don’t hang out alone with them. This will save your life. The Devil can send a witch to destroy your life if your don’t SEPARATE YOURSELF. PROVERBS 2:16. Get wisdom.
@@angelgarcia-ht9bl having girl friends as a man is one of ways that devil uses to destroy men. Don’t give any place to the devil.
What you mean by that?
@@angelgarcia-ht9bl the day the man is careless, the devil may send in a witch disguised as a friend to ruin everything you have. It is very dangerous. Read your Bible, the book of proverbs 2:16-18
You’re speaking nothing but truth here and I can tell multiple personal stories to back up the premise. Thank you for this 💯
Thank you for being so truthful.
Another hard thing i just had to learn man and woman cannot be friends if there is a Attraction
I'm glad you explained this, and you did it well. I was always wondering what was the actual reason why men never liked you as a woman having male friends. I see and understand now, and it makes perfect sense! You're absolutely correct! Thank you ☺️
That’s so true your definitely correct about men and women remain friends it won’t work period!
OMG You are one of the Wisest & Most Insightful Black Men on EARTH!!!😃 Thank You so much for your Valuable Advice😃💝
Fuck no not in this house.
Because If she's that special, she's our friend
Married men can have female friends
But it's not a good idea 🤣🤣🤣
Yes it’s about trust and controlling your hormones. My husband had friends before me.and I trust he will cut them off if they get out of line. I know my place and they know theres. If nobody agrees they need to work on themselves. And stop being attractive to a$$ and titties/penis. And work on them deep inner issue starting from childhood.
I am so proud of you and I don't even know you lol! I just want to let you know that you are doing so well! Your content is inspirational and your light and energy is so bright. Love and blessings to you brother ✌🏾
The only reason people of the opposite sex are friends is if there is attraction. Or a purpose for the friendship. Like say they work on a campaign together or are neighbors something. Great video.
Men and women can never be "just friends" - THERE IS NO SUCH THING! - God didn't create Adam and Eve to be just friends
Thank you for speaking that truth bruh.
Yes and No! I have a male friend that I grew up with. He is now married. His wife and I are friends as well. I made it a point to be her friend as well. She and I text and talk on the phone. We even have a group text between the 3 of us. I told him that even though we've known each other since middle school that his wife & I needed to develope a relationship in order for us to continue being friends. Now for me. When my ex and I were together he had inappropriate relationships with other females. He did shady things. If you have a problem with your spouse being friends with the opposite sex then talk about it. Cut off any relationship that with the opposite sex that causes your relationship trouble. Protect your relationship.
From my experience. Having same sex friends & family members can lead into trouble. My ex wife family did not want us together. My ex fiance girl best friend & female friend was talking badly my girl bestfriend. As time went on they did not got along. I said be christ like. They did not listen to me. So I choose not to talk to them except my girl bestfriend. Every one need to be christ like, his thinking.
You’re right
You are right, it is that simple :).
I dated a guy for 2 weeks and had absolutely no jealousy towards his best friend that is female, but she is a married woman and he told me he loves her more than anything or anybody, i asked him if she wasn't married if they would be together and he said yes of course they would be together, it put up red flags and all i could think about was the fact that they meet up and have lunch with each other one day a week, he told me her husband knows about their friendship and she also told me the same thing but any man who can't get a husband on the phone to ask if it is ok to have lunch with his wife is hiding something. I believe if his best friend who is female can't ask her husband to go along to eat lunch with her best friend (which should be her husband, not him) then they should never go anywhere together or have and kind of contact with one another. In Bible times, they would be stoned because you're supposed to stay away from ALL appearances of evil. U crack the door a little and Satan will bust that door wide open. So anyway it's like beating a dead horse or talking to a brick wall. He won't listen to me he says I'm just trying to break up their friendship and that I'm jealous of their friendship. I really could care less about their friendship, I just wonder how God would feel about them getting together without her husband being present.
@2:10 just happened to me. Thanks a lot. Even though he was not my bf or lover, but whatever it was it ended. I am doing fine now, I am not clever to deal with such people. I just ask protection from God, I have to pray more and more so that God keeps me out of such situations.
Him: I don't have female friends.... well not anymore lol
I don't care if my man has female friends I either trust him or I don't.
Thank you for this 💕🙌🏾
Only if we’re all friends.
No you can’t be friends with someone you’re attracted to or vice versa. But men and women can be friends if that’s not an issue. I know I wouldn’t stay in touch with a man I know is attracted to me if that’s not where I wanna go with him. But if a man feels safe for friendship I would be friends. Like I have male friends I only discuss stocks or politics or work with or to get some advice or small favours... but that’s it we aren’t interested in anything beyond that. That’s a normal friendship. Men and women who don’t understand that they can’t be trusted and I wouldn’t date a man who doesn’t know how to be friends with women. It means he has no sense or boundaries and that’s a huge lack of intelligence if you can’t be friends with the opposite gender. No way can I trust a him. He must have lady friends or must know how to be comfortable with being friends with women without me worrying about it. My standards of trust are very high. I need to know it’s not an issue.
The only sensible comment in this whole thread…. A lot of people want to look at that as disrespect but a lot of people don’t fully the definition of respect… It is to admire or honor a person for who they are it’s not about compliance or obedience to get someone to do what you want them to do…. It also says a lot about the evolving peoples have chose not to do on theirselves…. I’m currently dealing with this issue presently and I’m over it! We’re all grown and should be able to govern ourselves respectfully and responsibly….❤
Platonic freindships don't work, especially if you are always around each other. The guys catch feelings the majority of the time.
If she farts in your presence, doesn't freshen up when you visit and keeps asking for your advice about other men.....You are not making enough of an effort for her to see you as a potential partner.
It kills the men more than it does the women. She might like you too, but she would rather be with a man who is honest and straight up with her.
Love this! I understand it totally! ❤️
Thanks for these video
I agree
5:55 so I did the right thing by removing myself from the situation
When you are married, your spouse should be your best friend. I agree, men and women can be good friends but not best friends because sex would come into play.
i agree with you on male - female relationships.
All good points! Very wise
That was Awesome ❤ Thanks
This is a very good video. Made me think of things I never thought of before. I thought that men and women could be just friends. Now that I have listened to this video I have to rethink that position. It is probably true that if one party is attracted to the other then no, a man and a women could not just be friends! As long as the man and women are not sexually attracted to one another they could be just friends but if the situation changes it might not be a good idea to try to maintain that relationship. The only way it could work is if one is gay and the other is straight.
Exactly my point 💯
When you start allowing outside influences in, that's trouble you don't know any human being motives, cleave to your mate period
I agree 100%.
Yessss absolutely. I went through that learn my lesson
Why befriends with someone married? It makes no sense, cause it is obviousely leading to an emotional affair which of course both will deny.
I am a never married 68 year old woman who had had platonic relationships with men in which nothing has happened. Some of the friendships have lasted for several decades.
I have even gone on vacation with men without anything sexual or romantic happening.
Wisdom!
I agree with u 💯!!
Nope. No opposite sex friends.we all know what happens smh
Hate to admit, but its true.
I agree I hope my husband when he comes will respect me to not engage with woman and I will do the same for him 💯 🥇
Speak some truth.....Man or woman.... Keep your “friends” and “family” out of your relationship. I equate it to buying a cute dress.... you get a cute dress / great significant other👗 , you look and feel so fine. Your friends /family see this dress / significant other and would like it too. Just human nature. People are People. People want what other people have.... My husband is not friends with my friends. Don’t tell your girls busy with your man good or bad.... My mom and grandma told me this advice and they were married until death do they part.... I married for twenty plus years....😍🥰😘😗
It’s not only about attraction. It’s about respecting that person’s partner. Do unto others as you’d like done to you
Facts
Its okay to have female friends I have female Friends that are married too. I am married and I love my wife❤ and I chat to my female friends often but it does not mean I would cross the boundaries between my wife and my love for her. Many of my female Friends are married but I have a great friendship with them.
My husband was a friend only for weeks and eventually he asked me out. I knew him for years even while I was with other guys but never became his friend cause I don't trust being "friends" with men while in a relationship.
i think its a person to person basis. my husband and i have opposite sex friends w no issues. then again we have been together for 9 years and arent game-players.
Another great video
Thank you
Bro!!!! I recently started a new relationship and he has been trying to get me to understand 🙃smh wow I feel like your wife. I have never had a bad break up so I just didn't understand the issue but... yeah Bro I feel you and I am real cute Soooo... lol 😆Thank you for the bomb content. Prayers and Love to you and your Queen.
Agreed. I had a very cool and handsome GBF. Had to move around! Got too fuzzy for me. No male friends. Because…. 😮💨😂😂
I’m so glad I’m not straight and don’t have to deal with this. I’m friends with whoever and it’s not an issue.
And nobody asked about your opinion
Bikini alert! Bikini alert! Bikini alert!!🤣🤣🤣That is so true!! I have been there. Oh ole boy acting up?? Shiiid let me slide my ole low vibrating @$$ on in there and get mine until he starts to act right!🤣🤣 thank God for growth but I was there.
Can they? Yes. Should they? Absolutely not. Nothing past casual acquaintances
Familiarity breeds contempt....unless strict boundaries are set and adhered to.
LOL well that makes sense. If they are attracted to each other, they'll have to choose their preferred relationship. I'm not sharing.
I’m not friends with men who are in relationships, when my guy friends are in relationships I disappear lol I’m not getting in ya’lls business
👍🏾
I married someone I wasn't attracted to physically. We werw close friends. 20+ years later, we're still together. ❤
Only the guys and ladies who have discipline
Which dog pound you at brother? There is something called personal integrity and boundaries. I think you are projecting but it is your truth so you tell it but it is possible for married people and singles to be best friends with each that does not disrespect their union.
Sounds like you missed the point sis. He clearly said “if they are attracted to each other” they can’t be friends. He never said in general they can’t be friends.
I’m going through this now. This guy said that I’m nice we should be friends but he’s friends
👏🏾
As a man who agree with every word this guy said , I can tell u majority of men and women are not comfortable or like this type of friendship...
But people are gaslighting us by using " insecure n possesive" word salad.
It has nothing to do with insecurity. Its exclusivity...
The problem is not men or women. The problem is men and women who trying hard to cope with this shit.
My gf is the only female with I want to share this bond. No female friend , period!!!
My gf don't have any guy friend. Funny thing is when we met for the first time in public settings our communication starts because of this topic 😂😂😂. Everybody on the table were opposing our " no opposite gender friendship"
But she n me stick to our point.
you are right, do not allow anyone to gaslight you into doubting your stance on this! Glad to read that you and your lady found each other and that you both are are just sticking to your values - marry her and do not let her go!
For myself - I broke up recently with my bf who had and still has plenty of female besties...nothing sexual that i know of, but emotionally -well, he is very invested in some of those friendships, actually it was the first red flag I noticed, but coz he was just so awesome overall, I ignored that hunch (about him being this super social with more women friends than men,,,,,and 1 woman specifically, married woman with kids, mind you.,..married with his friend, mind you) - it was the 1st ever red red flag for me in relationship with him and it also ended up the reason to break up....he kept on orbiting her...until later, she broke it off herself, by kind of fading out of his life....but only after she made sure me and him were having issues..after we broke up, she also loosened her grip on him and lost interest about him...ha...some women find it as amazing ego boost - to ''hunt'' or seduce taken men....it makes them feel powerful...she won....we got so many fights over her,he always defended her.......before he met me, he was single for a long time,,,she was not really that interested in him,not the the extent she got, once she found out about me and him...yeah...at the end of the day now, when we are kaputt, he is not grieving losing me,,he grieves her....haha, while she still goes to bed every night in the arms of her hubby of 20 years...who also is the ex schoolmate /buddy of my bf....wow.... hubby has no issues with his wife constantly texting my bf and phoning him any time of day....soooo. you can show my comment to your gf and - just to show what situations happen , dire consequences of ''friends'' of opposite sex and /or low morals....and you guys - guard your love from nasty people! I wish you many many years together, be well!
@@AmericanDreamer oh god... I hope u recover from the whole mess of toxicity n chaos 🤔
When I was 17 yrs old I understood this whole friendship thing is bunch of bs. I remember attending birthday party of my cousin brother, with his friends n his gfs friends. They were all drunk n all of sudden my cousin brother's gf started joking n laughing with her male bestfriend. Jokingly he called her " bitch " my blood started boiling , I looked at my brother's face with anger. Even though I m his younger brother , he realised my " bro , if u can't be disrespectful n call this type of names for your gf how can u allow other man to do this shit ???? " question... The problem with this type of friendship is
1 ) It's a binary relationship:
So You really don't know what other person's real intentions. Hidden attraction, jealousy ,etc.
2) It's depends on degree of attraction : You gonna always hear " I m not attracted to this person" lame rebuttal. If the whole relationship is based on degree of attraction then it's not organic plutonic friendship by default
3) Emotional exclusivity:
This is the most important things.
No matter what u do , this type of friendship gonna give the crack on your emotional exclusivity, maybe not today maybe tomorrow. But this is coming
4) humour : Yes inside jokes or friendly humour which can sabotage the boundaries of u or ur partner can hurt your relationship. Just like my cousin brother's situation. You can't do this " oh it's just a joke" bs justification by making ur partner uncomfortable
5) triangulation: this is favourite tactic of male n female narcissists where they put their partner in competitive state with other people
Just like ur ex bfs female friend did to boost her ego.
Many people consider my gf as rude n lone wolf person but In reality she's very kind n fun loving person, she just don't do this unnecessary socializing n fake friendship bs. She don't engage in social media friendship bs just like me. Our value system is same!!!
Don't fall for the social gaslighting.
Stand up for your own value system. Don't fall for the social shaming tactic. It has nothing to do with you.
Most importantly get rid of your ex bf. He definitely gonna come to destroy your next relationship by using this " friends" camouflage
💯💯
No new female friends. Friend is a relationship that require time to develop. When both people work, time is limited and is needed for thev marriage