City tips for introverts: 1) blackout curtains. Both because the constant light can be a bit much and because sometimes you just need to feel like you’re more alone 2) find your comfort spots. Whether it’s a bookstore, coffee shop, specific park, or public building, look for the places you vibe with and feel recharged by. Try and find some that are close by, and some that require a bit of a trip so that you have options depending on what you need 3) in the absence of a comfort spot find places where you can just be anonymous. Places where nobody cares or bothers you when you go about your business 4) figure out what your city tolerance and plan day trips/weekends out of the city based on how much you can handle. 5) look for the little oddities and curiosities that only happen in cities. It can help you find the beauty in a place
@@emmiereads I’m so glad this is helpful! For day trips you might want to look at Hamilton. There are lots of walking trails, the Royal Botanical Gardens, and tons of waterfalls. There’s even a place called Donut Monster that does amazing vegan donuts. I hope your move goes smoothly!
I’m an introvert and I live in NYC. The larger the city, the easier it is to escape into yourself and your own inner life. I’ve lived in NYC 13 years (I’m from a small town) and would never live anywhere else. You would be surprised how many introverts are in large cities. You may also find a lot of love for and interest in The Odd Woman and the City by Vivian Gornick. I recommend this book to anyone moving to a city for the first time. Best to you, Emma.
i couldn't agree more!!! when i moved from NYC to chicago, i was like "where are all the people?!!" i'm very introverted & i love me the anonymity of big cities. click-my-heels- twice 💕
@@eliezeraltshul8550 i read if a traveller on a winter night a few months ago. it was awesome. i bought invisible cities too and i hope to read it soon.
Yes! This is also my favourite thing about cities. I grew up in a small town where everyone knew each other. In the city I can just exist with little judgement.
This is so true! I'm living in Paris (and I'm from countryside) and feeling exactly the same. I'm feeling at ' home ' because I can so easily escape and feeling very blessed for that
Hi Emma! I've been living in Toronto for about 10 years now, so far. We're the same age and same level of introversion (I think ), and honestly, I don't go out as much as others in my age group. The most I do is find huge cozy parks like Edwards Gardens, High Park, etc., and visit BMV, a fantastic second-hand bookstore, and Indigo, of course. One thing you may enjoy about Toronto is Museum life. I highly recommend the Art Gallery of Ontario and Aga Khan Museum, and there are some Klimt and Van Gogh exhibitions from time to time. I recommend exploring Dundas, Queen, and Yonge street for little shops of antiques and plants. I usually go by myself with a book in hand to find a small cafe near these streets after University classes. -Who knows, maybe one day we'll run into each other at an Indigo or a BMV store :) I hope your move goes smoothly!
@@emmiereads i absolutely second the bmv! i go there almost every week, and it’s always fun to just browse. there are also so many other cool bookstores in toronto! i also recommend walking trails!
I echo all this, I'm from Montreal but I try to visit Toronto multiple times a year because I love it. I'm very much an introvert as well but I love having the option of going out and seeing all the life going on in bigger cities and like @SaraBookpedia already mentioned there are so many nice parks and public areas to chill and read. Oh and yes BMV rules!
I also live in Toronto! I hope we bump into each other, Emma :) Personally, my favourite place in Toronto is Reyna on King right above Distillery District. It is the coziest, most wholesome and well-decorated little nook of a bar you'll ever see.
Just do whatever Murakami's unnamed characters do when they live in big cities: go get ramen, go to the movies over and over, walk around the parks, go to the bars, jazz clubs, go search for weird Sheep, etc etc. lol
Omg Emmie your little carpet monster is getting so big! I love seeing him get more comfortable and confident ☺️ also I’ve never ready any of Murakamis books but I love hearing your insight on his thought process
he's so curious and opening up so much, it's so wonderful to watch his personality emerge:') ooh if you ever pick up any of his novels I cannot wait to see what you think!
As an introvert who used to live in Manhattan, I say there’s a comfortable loneliness in being in a big city. It’s one of those things where there are so many people that you are protected of people paying attention to you.
Speaking as an anxious introvert who LOVES cities, you can always ALWAYS find quiet places where the city doesn't feel so big. Make your apartment your safe haven and take advantage of quiet cute coffee shops and bookstores! And what I love most about cities is how many interesting people live there!! All I have to do is go outside and I could see someone and learn something new about humans.
So I'm an introvert who used to live in Shanghai, I went from growing up in the countryside straight to a mega city and I loved it! I'm totally a city person. I'm so interested in people and just looking at them. I also loved that when I wanted to socialise it was easy. I loved the community of neighbours and shop workers that I had, a way closer community than in the country unexpectedly. A city is an organism and I loved learning its ways, how it moved and breathed, and being a part of it all. I felt so alive and connected there! I hope you come to love Toronto too
I do love people watching so that's definitely something I'm looking forward to, I'd love to write something in Toronto too, I feel like it's the perfect place for inspiration! your words are so gorgeous, thank you for this
I'm so excited for your big move (even if you aren't)! I am an introvert living in a city, but I have grown to love it. The sounds of the city are actually quite comforting to me, knowing that there's always someone awake. You have so much more available to you in the city! At least here in the states. Which means book stores that aren't chains, small niche shops, family owned restaurants. Nature is of course pretty lackluster, but it allows me to appreciate nature even more. I hope that you grow to love Toronto!
I think if you find a few happy places, like perhaps a small park, a favorite little book shop, a library, a tea shop, etc. it will make big city living more tolerable.
As a fellow London Ont. native introvert who moved to a big city (not Toronto, but comparable), I'd say take trips to nature as much as you can!! The Toronto Islands are lovely in the summer (and winter!) and are a much needed break from the city 💜 and if you can, check out the royal botanical gardens just outside Hamilton (it's about an hour out on the GO bus but VERY much worth it!!), they're absolutely stunning, and a wonderful day trip to bring a book on!! Best of luck on your move!!
awe hi!!! thank you so much for the tips - I've been to the islands and they are lovely so I'm excited for them and ooh the gardens sound so lovely, thank you so much !
I moved to the U.S. from Argentina and as a fellow introvert what allowed me to not be scared to jump into the unknown was to remind myself that most people are nice. We often don’t even put ourselves out there because we are scared of rejection, but I promise that most people are kind and even fun to talk to so don’t be afraid to just talk to random strangers hahaha. I hope this helps and wish you the best of luck in Toronto!🥰
What I love about living in a big city is that you can be anonymous and still surrounded by people. It can be so freeing to not have anyone know who you are and what you’re doing. I feel like I can be more individualistic this way. I have always been a nature-freedom person and not a concrete-road-freedom but I still feel free in the city. Living together with so many people makes you really feel the possibilities and vastness of human life. Sometimes I like to go to crowded areas and muse about what kind of life everyone there has. Sometimes being alone and looking at the night sky is what you need but sometimes you also need to feel that no matter when you are awake there is always gonna be someone awake with you. Also there is always gonna be a group of people you share an interest with, no matter how obscure there’s always gonna be a buddy for you in the city. Not to mention that everything is just so much more accessible shops, classes, clubs etc for everything in close proximity.
I’m a Toronto gal that hates living in the city, and what I’ve found really helps is finding your small corners of the city to make your own. I used to live proper downtown (spadina and queen) and found a residential street I could detour down to get home, and that moment of quiet was really special. Toronto is also a place that you can go out on your own and no one looks sideways. I also recommend the Ronscesvalles/ High Park neighbourhood; there’s more little libraries than I can even count, and so many small businesses and good people. And the park itself is a real escape from the city, with so many paths and wildlife
Oh Emma, I've got you with the city thing! I am a total small town, rural Ontario girl living in downtown Ottawa, so I know exactly what you're feeling. I won't lie to you, it can be tough, especially when my mental health isn't great, but being around nature, even just small patches of it, really helps (especially the bodies of water--I find that they help to drown out the noise of the city when I'm feeling overwhelmed). Don't let this scare you though; living in the city can be absolutely wonderful. I am utterly in love with the multiculturalism and the variety of experiences that are at my fingertips. There are so many places to explore, especially with the excess of public transit, so it's hard to get bored. It'll also be so fun for you to have a whole new range of book stores and libraries and cafes to discover (city cafes are the best--they all have their own unique atmosphere and are all so beautiful in their own way). I completely understand your anxiety but I think that you'll have some truly marvelous experiences in Toronto. I'm so excited for you and your partner! I hope this helps :)
My tip to living in the big city - as someone who loves the big city but is a massive anxious introvert - is to not stress on how big the city is. It feels overwhelming at first but you soon realize that you kinda have your own corner of the world there. Find a comfort spot (coffee shop, bookstore, park, etc) and get acquainted with the area around it. So don't feel shy to wear headphones and listen to music lol The city can get noisy and overwhelming, but a good pair of headphones and your favorite movie will make you feel like you're in a 90s romcom. Oh also, don't feel afraid to ask store owners and staff for directions or even places to visit. Most people in the big city know that it can be overwhelming and confusing. A lot of them are always willing to give you directions and recommend places.
omg that's a big change! i can totally understand what you mean about big cities. i grew up on a small island with a total of ca. 5000 people, and then i moved to the second biggest city (bergen) in norway... the biggest change was the fact that no matter where you go, there's ALWAYS people around. but you do get used to it! and it's kinda nice to be able to walk down the street knowing that the chance of running into someone you know is minuscule. that gave me a sense of freedom i had never felt before, having grown up in such a small town. my best tip would be to find your favorite spots and go as often as you can and want to! even in big cities, there are places that feel cozy and peaceful. sometimes, it's even more special to find a serene place in the hustle and bustle of a big city. maybe see this as an opportunity to try something new and perhaps a little scary. it could end up being a very precious time in your life! sometimes the best moments happen outside of your comfort zone. also, know that you're not alone in this. i applied to universities this spring, and might end up moving to a whole new part of the country that i've never been to before (tromsø, norway), in just a month. if that's the university i get accepted to, i have no idea where i'm gonna live or how the helllll i'm gonna get myself and all my stuff there (it's VERRRRRY far away) and that's absolutely terrifying! but also a little exciting and a great opportunity to experience something new!! "be curious, not judgemental"
I’m introverted and I’ve lived in big cities all my life (I was born in a city with 1,5 million population and now I live in a megacity with 12 million people). I honestly love big city life. There are so many things to do, so many things to see, so many people to meet. I think big cities are good for both introverts and extroverts as they can offer so many things. Don’t be afraid :) being a TH-camr, you actually have a lot of people from all over the world who can help you.
Two things: 1) I agree with everyone else’s advice. I’m an introvert in Portland, OR and I am so much happier than when I lived in a small town in Appalachia. I wanted to add one more piece: Apply for a plot at a nearby community garden! You will feel like you’re bringing nature back to a dead space. I have one in Portland and it completely satiates my cottage core addiction 2) From experience as a lit student, profs who don’t give constructive feedback on paper are usually willing to give it during office hours when you can actually have a conversation about it. Email them and set something up!
Have you been to Powell’s yet? It’s a huge bookstore that covers an entire city block. I used to live in Portland until I was 8 and occasionally get to go back. 😊
My favourite thing about living in the city is watching people, just sitting in the park or a cafe and watching all the different people coming by. I also love to go on long walks to find hidden spots, to find rooftops where you can watch the sunset and the sunrise to find small cafes and art galleries and quiet places.
Hello Emmie! I've been following you for almost a year now and this is the first time i'm commenting. You asked about love letter about what we like in big cities- it reminded me of a little something i wrote a few years back about my experience in living in Tokyo, where i moved for my studies (i'm from France!) And so i wanted to share it with you, because this text (which is part of a bigger story) is like a love letter i've written. Hope you might see this little comment and enjoy! Thank you for sharing your videos with us :) My love letter to Tokyo: "Tokyo is already dark but still full of life, and the well-known Shibuya crossing is buzzing. The advertisement screens all over the high buildings surrounding the area perform for the umpteenth time their colorful videos, and japanese words and songs flow through the frenetic air. It's a cacophony of sounds that is overwhelming at first, but became home to her pretty quickly. Shibuya isn't the prettiest borough of Tokyo, but it's one of the little windows from where the world sees the intriguing capital. It's funny to realize that what is her everyday life can be a far away and dreamed place for someone else at the other end of the world.
For years, this place has been her dream, too.
It's one of those nights she takes the extra care to be more attuned to what's around her, takes the extra second to truly sees each details of the streets. The way they wait at the crossing for it to turn green, the way the mass of people submerges the asphalt when it finally does. Some tourists have their phone high in the air to record a glimpse of the impressive yet usual crowd.
How can someone crave to live in such a place, where there's so many people it's nothing close to feeling intimate, more like she's drowning in the ocean? At first, she asked herself this. And then she realized it doesn't matter that Tokyo holds so many people. It's part of its charm. Tokyo welcomed her with the same way it welcomes everyone: with the jingle of each Yamanote station, with the conditioned air in the convenience stores, with the river who plays hide and seek and suddenly reveals herself a few streets away from the busy roads. She just had to notice it all, and put a part of her heart in each detail, to get accustomed to the city and carve herself her own seat, like she choses a seat on the train when she goes to campus.
She yearned so much to be in this place, and sometimes she wonders how she can like it more and more everyday, now that she's there. It's just a city, it's just another country, another language. And yet, even if France definitely feels like home, Japan does, too."
I live in Toronto, am deeply introverted and this is one of my favorite places to live. I tend to stay clear of the downtown core and spend my time in the diverse divisions like Greektown, Little Portugal, Koreatown, etc. What brought me here is the vastness and incredibly high level of the strong and supportive music community, but what keeps me here is the food, the art and the beautiful people. I think you'll like it here
The thing I love about living in a big city is people watching. Like sitting on your own in a café, with your own music playing and watching the people around you. Imagining their lives. Also - I'd imagine there're quite a lot of literary talks, books festivals etc in a city like Toronto!
Love letter to a city. I live in Paris. Besides finding pockets of nature that become your own, personal safe havens, the best part about city living is discovering news things every day. I highly recommend hopping on public transport to visit a new spot, museum, attraction, whatever, and walking home after. On your way home, you get to find hidden treasures, familiarize yourself with the city, and feel inspired by those small, magical moments of new discovery. Also, your home space becomes so much more meaningful and comfy when you get to come back home from a day of big-city-living. If you build yourself a cozy home full of stuff that brings you joy, you'll never feel overwhelmed by the occasional city-madness, because escaping it will be easy. :) it'll be swell
I'm an introvert that lives in the biggest city of my country (moved there 4 years ago for university) and I assure you that big cities are the best thing. No one cares who you are or what you're doing, and you can avoid people super easily. I would never go back to living on a small town just because big cities give you a very nice anonimity.
making a murakami playlist is such a good idea, i'd stop and listen to music he mentioned (in 1Q84 especially) but never kept track across books - can you post the playlist?
can you mention some other songs that he mentioned in his books? i can send you a playlist on the songs he mentioned in hear the wind sing & pinball 1973
I am an introvert and moved from Ottawa to Los Angeles (one of the biggest of the big cities!) at about your age (now 23 years ago - so about the half way point of my current life!) so I can relate to your apprehension about the big city although my move was completely my choice for my own work. The main advice I would give you is that a big city is just a lot of little cities put together and you can find little secret pockets of pure beauty within ALL of those little cities. Some of them feel like your own private discovery! I have found so many treasures in the middle of unknown parts of the city. I love nature too so I’m always looking for special little parks in the middle of new neighborhoods as well as cool buildings, bookstores, streets …. The exciting thing is that the amount of this discovery is almost endless!! So don’t worry - you will find your way in amongst the myriad of little/ big cities in Toronto! Good luck and I’m really looking forward to your blogs from a brand new place!
Oh lovely Emma, I’m 26 and have never moved out of my hometown so I can empathize with the anxiety. I do have to say, you’ve picked an incredible city as Toronto is my favorite place in the world. I normally visit at least once (hopefully more) times a year and the pandemic broke my heart by not allowing the travel, understandably. I am extremely extremely introverted and living in a suburb in Ohio my entire life there was still something about Toronto that truly captured me the first time I visited. I wanted to share some of the things I always have to do when I’m in the city in hopes that it can make you fall in love too. Firstly, the Toronto sign. I know it sounds dumb and silly but there’s something about the open area and beautiful surrounding buildings that always bring me such joy. Bringing some food and just sitting by the open fountain is such a lovely experience. Secondly, Dundas & Yonge square, which can be super overwhelming at first, but if you slowly walk down Yonge there are so many special places you can find. Lastly, my biggest piece of advice is truly immerse yourself in the many many incredible cultures represented in Toronto. Some of my favorites are ramen (there are many veg options), boba tea, Portuguese cuisine, attending a show, visiting Markham (I have a friend there!) and it’s beautiful authentic asian culture, authentic French breads, and so so many more. I was able to visit last week for the first time in 2.5 years and the love I feel for the city never leaves. I wish you nothing but the best exploring and enjoying your time. Maybe someday we’ll happen to run into each other and can discuss the beauties and perils of life. Although, I know you’ve already moved (I believe you were there the same week I was??) here’s to a wonderful new existence in a place full of majestic wonders. -Ashley
Emma! Your introvert moving to big city because of partner fear really struck a chord with me. I similarly dreamed of moving to a little cottage in England (where I'm from), but my partner got a job in Kinshasa, capital of the DRC, and we moved here for his work. It's a city of 17 million and could not be more the opposite of the life I'd envisioned for myself! I've actually been super happy here though, and I think it's down to: 1. Having the attitude that I am adaptable and can find joy and happiness anywhere. 2. Alone time in the little world of my home- reading, writing, making videos etc. 3. Finding the things I love about being here. There are always things to love in cities. I'm about to move to London UK now, and am excited for theatre, bookshops, museums, coffee shops... You're going to have a wonderful time in Toronto, I'm sure of it! ☺ Excited to follow along for the journey
I have always lived in a small village, in a house with a garden, and a 2 minute walk from the forest. A year ago I started my PhD in Antwerp. As much as I love that city, I do not want to move there (yet), as I love living together with my parents and brother at home and have grown to really appreciate nature and the quiet of my hometown. So now I do a total commute of 4,5 hours/day to my work, which of course is not ideal either. I do think you can be annonymous quite easily in a big city. What I experience from my time spending in the city, and travelling through busy places, is that I can grow tired of people and noise quickly, and start noticing the messy-and uglyness of cities and humankind. That is why finding quiet spots more inmersed in nature, away from crowds, stores (capitalism), such as parks, or small local spots is essential for me when being there. Also a big sucker for architecture, it makes me truly happy, and (old) cities tend to have some pretty areas for this. And the sun. Find the sun, especially when surrounded by buildings that constantly block it. I hope it will work out well for you!! And I def share your idea of living in the middle of nowhere
Ok, so I’m incredibly introverted, grew up in a town of 65k and have now live in a city of 2.3m and honestly? I kind of love it. There’s something fun about living somewhere so big, I love getting to explore and I always get a bit of a thrill from discovering something new. I’m on a perpetual journey to find ‘the best’ of any given thing in my city (the best movie theater, the best ice cream place, the best book store, etc) and its really satisfying to stumble upon a new favorite. There’s also just so much to do! When musicians or shows go on tour they nearly always stop by where I live, there are so many museums and free events plus if I want to feed any new niche interest of mine I can always find a local community of people who are interested in it. Not to mention that cities always attract so many different types of people that you can really get to meet tons of interesting individuals plus it creates an environment that is- at least in my experience- significantly more open minded than in smalls town.
Hey Emmie, Torontonian (and introverted book lover) here. I know coming here can be stressful, but there are a lot of things from the city you can absorb and benefit from. Toronto Public Library is one of the best I’ve experienced (and I’ve been to many cities across the world). There are plenty of quiet spots (parks, cafes, etc) where you can park yourself, absorb humanity, but still seek the solitude you need to be creative. Speaking of which, the multiplicity of people to meet from across the world truly is inspiring, and I say this as a naturalized Canadian who came from abroad and has lived in many cosmopolitan cities-the pluralist ethos of Toronto is still there and acts like a microcosm of the world. I’d love to give recommendations of places you may love in future videos. To start for bookstores I recommend: Type Books, BMV, Balfour Books, Ben McNally’s, and of course the Bay/Bloor Indigo
I've read hear the wind sing, pinball 1973, wild sheep chase and 1Q84 and i think at this point i can say that the only value murakami books add to you is basically finding out new and great music and having the chance to tell people that you've read murakami (this wont stop me from reading the rest of the books because i still can't get over the 'la raison d'etre' line in hear the wind sing and am hoping to read more lines like that)
I'm an introvert and I live in NYC where people are literally everywhere. Despite this, it's surprisingly intimate. When I tell people this they look at me like I'm nuts but you won't really know until you live in a large city yourself. I'm from a small city down in the deep south United States and New York is the only place I see myself living in the US. My advice is to explore surrounding areas and escape because cities can be overwhelming but when I get a chance to escape to a small town for the weekend it's so therapeutic... it's just something about noticing your life slow down for a little while.
I think living in a city when you're not a city person really comes down to what you make of it. I'm a serious introvert and I grew up in LA. I learned how to find a lot of natural places to escape to and hikes and parks. Also, bookstores and coffee shops. I also used to date a guy who LOVED living in LA and we went to all kinds of cool places. I moved to a smaller city in Oregon right before Covid, and I've actually been having a really great time. My boyfriend and I figured out ways to make the most of our days (it helped that I had an essential job during Covid so wasn't at home alllll day). Even though I'm not IN LOVE with where I'm currently live, we still decided to buy a house here and I'm still enjoying living here. I've found bookstores, coffee shops, made friends through my work, and found lots of hikes.
EMMMAAAAAA, It’s such a coincidence that I watched this video the same day I was writing a poem about how I love cities. I’ve lived in LA my whole life and I moved to a smaller town for college and now I, back home for the summer. In my experience, being in a small town meant an emphasis on being agreeable and pleasant in public. It just didn’t sit right with me. As an introvert, I enjoy the anonymity of being in a larger city, getting lost in a crowd and people watching. You can take up space while blending in. Seeing people be their truest self, whether it be starting a fight on the metro, or yelling at their boyfriend in public, or dancing on the sidewalk. I love being surrounded by unafraid, unapologetic ppl. Also meeting strangers and having small talk knowing you’ll never see them again
as someone who was born and raised in one city, then moved to another (that I also didn't want to move to), getting to find the local bookstores, cafes, shops, family owned businesses is so fun, learning where the best parks are away from the cars, knowing that when you sleep the world outside is still bustling and people are around (that's always given me comfort), access to public transportation, etc. I'm sure it'll take a while to grow into the city, but I'm wishing you luck!
I grew up next to the mountains, in a town in Romania of 120k people and during summer in a village of like 100 houses. When I moved to The Netherlands in a city of 400k I was shocked of how much more was available. Food, events, stores… it was mind blowing. Then we moved to suburbia to a town of 60k. I love having parks and water next door. But I also love having bookstore and nice cafes and restaurants close by. Whenever I travel to metropoles I slightly envy people for the amount of stuff they have access too, because I have to make an effort to get to it. So make sure you enjoy all the exhibitions, festivals, bookstores, cafes, workshops… and enjoy nature! That has been my salvation my entire life 💕 good luck!
I also recently moved to a city I never expected to live in because of my partner! We were both born and raised in the GTA but moved to Vancouver for him to go to grad school. It was definitely scary since all my family and friends are still in Ontario but after being in lockdown forever it was exciting to go somewhere new. Here in Vancouver we have a cozy apartment with a cat and we're fairly close to nature which is super important to me! I lived alone in Toronto for 5 years while I was in uni, I'm a big introvert too so it could get a bit lonely living by myself, but the city has so much to offer! I lived right by Union Station (actual concrete hell, but great for transit) and my favourite nature escapes were Coronation Park, Trillium Park, High Park, and Toronto Island.
(Posting on my husband’s account) I’m an introvert with anxiety. When I’ve had to live in cities, I kept blackout and noise reducing curtains and I kept them closed most of the time. It ultimately wasn’t sustainable for my mental health and we’re now back in a house in the suburbs where I feel much more at ease. Also, find your little corner that you love, whether it’s a cozy bookstore/cafe or library or whatever and find your tribe. I wish you the best of luck as you move!
Huge introvert, living in a big city in the US that is only getting bigger and more metropolitan by the day. My coping mechanisms is finding spots I can be around nature (so close hiking trails, or quiet neighborhoods with lots of trees, etc) and generally avoiding areas of high traffic and lots of movement. I need quiet and it's been getting harder and harder living in a city that is expanding rapidly with so much commotion, but if you look around there are always pockets of other forms of life, I just learned how to tune out the noise we humans make to be able to hear the birds and cicadas sing! Also, I take advantage of the evening and spend a lot of time on my balcony reading when things are quieter and less blinding. On the flip side, l like that there is so much access to a variety of foods from around the world and many coffeeshops that is a walkable distance. Also, if there is a new activity or hobby I want to try it's easy to find classes or others doing the same. Cheers to your new adventure.
Hi Emma! I get your anxiety about moving to a big city. It can seem so vast an busy and filled with people. What helped me was realising that big cities often aren't this one huge thing, but a collection of smaller, more contained parts. Often neighbourhoods in big cities are their own little villages with their own identities (sometimes they literally are small cities that have been 'eaten' by the larger whole) Your new neighbourhood will probably be a small city in itself. Find places you enjoy there, try different coffee shops, find a local branch of the library or a nice bookstore near you, take walks around your neighbourhood and make your home a calm place of comfort. Break the giant city down to your own small part in it first, and when you feel tethered to your own neighbourhood, you can discover the other neighbourhoods in your city. It can be so much fun to have all these different "mini cities" within reach. But whenever i have lived in large cities, it was always my own neighbourhood that felt like my home city. The rest of the city was just extra space to venture out in and discover new things whenever i felt like it. I promise it can be fun and not too overwhelming. You will be ok :)
I live in the biggest city in my country and I usually cope by bringing my headphones everywhere. It really comforts me to listen to music. I also make sure I have a few of my favourite places nearby where I can wind down, read and eat/drink something nice to cheer me up after a terrible or difficult day. What I love about the city is how many interesting things go on there. You can find art exhibitions, old bookstores, interesting coffee shops and fascinating people. At first it’s stressful but the commotion becomes a part of something larger and beautiful. I’m sure you’ll love it in Toronto, Emma!
As a fellow intertovert, I have such a love-hate relationship with cities (I've grown up in Portland - a medium-sized one). I love how much variety of good food there is in cities (I'm guessing there might be an easier time finding Vegan food)! I love all the small business of all sorts (book stores, clothing, food, etc). I also really love access to trains and light rails etc as I hate driving!
While I haven’t lived in cities with millions of people, I love living in cities. Some of my favorite parts of living in cities are reliable public transport and being able to walk or bike places, that there is always something to do or something new to try (galleries, museums, specialty shops, concerts, cafes and restaurants, free events) and that it is a lot easier to break out of your own little bubble. Generally places are open longer and there are good connections for traveling to other places. As an introvert it’s great because you don’t run into people you know a lot and there’s plenty of small talk topics. There’s also a lot more places to explore when going on walks. I would recommend having noise canceling headphones with you for when things get too much. My biggest advice for finding friends in a new city is signing up for an activity you enjoy: sports team, volunteer work, book club, religious group, art class, language class, etc. Good luck with your move!
Love Calcifer’s energy 🥺 my tips for being an introvert in a big city is finding walking trails. Luckily for me, my city was a 30 min drive from a large Forest. Me and my partner would stop off and grab coffee on the way, then go on long 2 hour walks. It’s how we would spend every weekend. Find the areas the ground you, because living constantly in the hustle and bustle can be draining. Also, don’t shy away from the city. Honestly, I do think sometimes it’s not about what you’re doing but who you’re doing it with. Me and my friends would typically go out on weeknights (not as busy), but would still enjoy the city centre just the 4 of us. Sometimes we would go out for a cocktail and end up finding a quiet pub that was doing a random Thursday night karaoke. Finding like minded introverts to enjoy a busy place with is bliss!
Hi Emma! I'm from a rural town in the middle of California and I moved to Orange County (one of the most populous, city places in the US) so my partner could go to school. I am also not a city person at all but we're making it work. I would say explore regularly until you find some spots you like (cafe, park, beach, anything), make sure you like your apartment and get yourself flowers or something?? I'm a big fan of flowers every couple weeks. As for making friends the more you get out and go to the same places the more you connect with people. Also look for events/meet ups that interest you and look for people there. The one cool thing about cities is there's no shortage of people 😂 when you spoke about feeling ok about your reasons for moving, but still being apprehensive about the city I felt that. SO HARD. It's a lot, especially if the move is motivated by your partner but it's gonna be good! Even in big cities there are quiet, cozy spots and you're gonna be figuring it all out with your person ☺️ (end rambling )
Possible city positives from someone who has always lived in the city (and is married to a partner who always lived in small towns): -You can meet way more people from different cultural backgrounds. -Huge, HUGE Libraries that will let you check out like 60 books at a time. -Museums, Zoos, Concert Halls, Musical Theaters, Arborateums, Holiday events like Parades/ Octoberfest etc. -Delicious food, omg. Also, I've never been to Toronto myself but I know from my coworkers that there is a huge Asian population with really amazing Asian Grocery stores and restaurants.
I’ve been in your shoes. I lived in one city my whole life and then moved to Toronto because my partner got a job there. Not going to lie, I didn’t love Toronto, but what helped me a lot was taking weekend trips and exploring around Toronto. There are tons of cute towns and nature. Go to Elora, Niagara-on-the-Lake, Algonquin, etc. You’ll love those.
I love your kitty! Big cities!!! I love visiting different libraries, tea/coffee shops, book stores, and reading books set in the city...visiting different neighborhoods...there are so much diversity in the city that expands your knowledge of others.
i’m brazilian and i live in one of the biggest cities in here, i’m also an introvert and it’s kinda funny to hear you say about feeling a little worried about being an introvert in a big city cause i’ve always felt more uncomfortable in small towns. i just feel like everybody knows you in a small town, everybody sees you, and in big cities you can walk around almost invisible, nobody really cares and i love that, it’s like that quote from persuasion, i don’t remember exactly but it’s something about only a crowd being able to offer loneliness and silence, and it’s kinda how i see big cities
Honestly for my introverted ass moving to a big city has been the absolute best. I love the anonimity, I love the abudance of pleaces where I can just go sit and read by myself and not be disturbed, I love the millionth activities you can do on your own, from museums to courses of any kind and ofc people watching. I think cities can really save us introverts cause you can be on your own and still get external stimuli. On top of this I bet Toronto will offer you a whole new array of ways to experience your love for books through events, presentations, clubs and so on. I totally get why you feel conflincted, but the amazing thing about metropolitan cities is how they hold space for litterally everyone, so I have no doubt you'll find your little nook of peace in Toronto 💜
I live in Las Vegas and also am an introvert and I love living here besides the city is so big no one even talks to you. My favorite thing is how accessible everything is and how many unique things there are to do, there's always some place you haven't been to.
I don't live in a city but I do go to them often along with wanting to go to a college in NYC. I think the best thing to remember is that people don't talk to you there if it isn't needed and having head phones in too most likely will also stop people from coming up to you. I recommend finding a comfort place that you can go to like a coffee shop, bookstore, or the lake. MOST importantly try your best to get involved with things of your interest so you can have people to talk to there:) hope moving goes well!!!
Hey, Emma! Best wishes for your move-I've always lived in a big city and I'm not the biggest fan of it, but I will say that you find comfort in the smaller things. Finding a great second-hand bookstore that smells like old book pages and has a floor that endearingly creaks with your every step, exploring the downtown area of a city at night and people-watching as you make your way through a bustling town square. Finding your favorite family-owned boba shop that you recommend to all your friends. Gazing out your apartment window close to midnight and witnessing the quiet miracle of two people falling in love on a lonely street bench. I don't know, I guess the beauty of a big city lies in finding the places that you can enjoy all on your lonesome, but also those places that you can enjoy in the midst of a huge crowd. P.S. Where is your watch from? It's so pretty!
This is so exciting! I grew up in a small mountain town in Colorado, but now I live in Atlanta, Georgia and it's been so amazing! I thought I would never like the city, but it seems like something that is just part of growing up. What I love about it is the diversity and the energy -- there's always so many fun events and things going on, so much to explore, and there's communities for everyone and everything. Whatever your interests, there is a place for you. We never get bored and we're constantly trying new things. You will really love it!
I'm an introvert that lives in Vancouver and I honestly could not be happier to live in a big(ish) city! I moved here about 12 years ago and never want to live anywhere else. I love the anonymity of it, and there's always something going on that I'm excited to do. Best of luck with your move Emmie, and hope Toronto is all you could hope for!
Hi Emma, I've lived in Melbourne, Australia for a long time and I love the rural life. My family live rural and I had to move to the big city for employment. There isn't a lot of employment in the country towns. I am an introvert and a loner. Once you have your place and are settled in you find your parks, nature places and you become one with them. I love people watching, I love the cafes and being able to sit outside al fresco, at them and watch the world go by or read a book while I have a drink. Just listening to peoples voices. Sometimes you need that stimulation to assure yourself that you're not alone. I don't like making social but I like knowing the world is out there and around me. I love listening to the street noise and hearing the activity as people go about their thing! There is something alive about cities, the nights are amazing when the city lights light up the sky. The city is simply a vibe you just come to appreciate. How far away from your parents will you be? Will you still be able to visit often? This helps! If you can get home every now and again it helps with the craving for nature and home!
I’m an introvert and am from Washington, D.C. and actually love it! I don’t go out much but do enjoy how many independent book stores, coffee shops, and shops there are. I also appreciate the museums a lot which I feel like you don’t get as many in smaller areas. There are so many different kinds of people in cities so even though there are more people, I feel more comfortable because I don’t think people are as judgmental because it’s more diverse in general & people aren’t going to pay much attention to you. It’s also helpful to be able to use public transit or walk around more than having to drive everywhere. I’m sure you’ll grow to like it!
i am a murakami fan too. i read 12 books of him. i saw same 1q84 edition background of one of her videos. cant wait to read it and hear her thought about it as well.☺
I always thought I hated big cities, but I had to move to Montreal for school, and now I miss it soooo much. I am an introvert and I like being alone and in nature a lot, but I felt at home walking around in this big city. There is sooo many people, that you dont feel scrutinized as much, everyone is themselves and I didnt feel judged at all. No makeup, not amazing clothes, and I didnt care because everyone is different. Also, I enjoyed being in the bus and observing people around me and taking notes. Like, once I saw a man with all leather clothes, he looked like a typically motorcycle dude, amd he was playing Candy Crush. It just made me smile. 😋 Its fun to observe people in huge cities I think! Everything is also accessible, any food you want at any time, and I bet you will find a new absolute favorite bookstore. 🌹
My experience might be outdated, but I think that you will like some aspects of Toronto a lot! - the convenience! There's lots of shops nearby, lots of small or chain cafes to work or study at, which considering you're gonna do school online, it can help to be a nice change of pace - toronto has lots of parks and they feel relatively safe since there's a lot of ppl (if they are more secluded, I'd recommend going with someone tho) - lots of libraries! The closer you are to downtown, the more libraries there are -lots of museums (rom, gardiner, pop up museums) to check out, lots of old sites and accessible sceneries, lots of culture to explore and places that you can get to by walking, or bus - lots of walking! - tip: invest in a good pair of noise canceling headphones, the walls are thin in small apartments, and there's always some type of construction going on, the headphones will help a lot with the anxiety I hope that you can enjoy the city enough for the time that you're there!!
I live in Copenhagen and I’m sensitive to noise and I’m definitely an introvert. However, I have come to love and cherish these years! Just to sit outside a café and enjoy the hustle and bustle, how you can easily go out for a drink on any given night, find all the small bookshops selling preloved books! At home it can be nice to have the radio/music on for some background noise that you can control. Good luck, I’m sure you will love it :-) Btw I looove Murakami ❤️
im a major introvert but live close to san francisco, what i love about the city is everyone is so wrapped up in themselves that it kind of gives you the feeling of privacy and being unnoticed which is actually helped by there being thousands of people around. it sounds counterintuitive but really when you pass by thousands of strangers a day, your not going to notice that one person having a bad hair day. i also just love that theres so much to observe in bustling cities, its a dream outing of mine to just take the bart to downtown oakland or sf and spend the day exploring.
I live in the de facto capital city of my country. I just happened to love being alone in super busy cafe or street or whatever. It’s a vibe and you’re gonna love it. When you’re alone in public, you’ll have this kind of time lapse of people around you moving so fast and you just watch it. It’s the best feeling and the greatest epiphany of living life. Good luck Emma
I'm a city girl, I live in Montreal and I just love my city soooo much. I did find my neighbourhood, the one that feel right to me and I rarely venture out of that area because EVERYTHING i need is right here, walking distance. Cozy coffee shops everywhere, parks, amazing neighbours, 0 waste grocery stores, public library, my kid's school, etc. The city is where it's at for me. And I can enjoy the calm of the country every once in a while when i go on vacation.
I’m 18 from suburban USA and just got back from studying and living in Incheon, South Korea! I’m also an introvert and what helped was creating little pockets of calm wherever I went. Having a constant like a book, tote bag, etc. with me everywhere and placing everything around where I sat helped me feel more calm. It will take some time to get used to the amount of people constantly walking but I think it becomes more of a comfort as time goes on. Finding cafés and boutiques near you to frequent and become a regular at is really great. It makes the area around you feel familiar and knowing the people that work at the store is so fun. It makes the city feel like an extended home. After going out, recharging with really comforting media and food (hot cocoa? :)) helps a lot and is so rewarding! I would also often pick up a little treat to enjoy once I got back home so I could sort of reflect on my day. Toronto will be so fun! So much to explore and become apart of in a way. I hope all of this made sense, I just woke up. (Also, I am currently beginning my bachelors degree in English Literature! Love your videos! :))
Hi Emma! I lived in Toronto for 8-9 years without ever even visited before, not knowing what to expect (also because of my husband’s job). It ended up feeling like home to me pretty quickly and I think it will always have a special place in my heart. 🖤 I found it easier to make friends (comparing it with where I live know, Kelowna BC) because almost every one in Toronto has also moved in from somewhere else and are in need of friends too 😆. So you never feel like the only ‘stranger foreign one’. My advice if you work from home would be to sign up for a class part time or something, this is to force yourself to have a routine in the city so that you get used to it faster (i took a baking class on Saturdays 🤣). Also, if your partner goes to an office will also help in meeting new people. And lastly, the faster you are able to make your apartment feel like home also helps a lot. There’s wonderful food, people are nice and I hope you will be able to feel at home sooner rather than later 🙏 *bonus: Muskoka is wonderful place when you crave to feel more in nature for a weekend thing
Greetings (soon-to-be) fellow Torontonian! I’ve lived here all my life but like you I’m more of a small town kind of person. I’m not really one for the downtown and busy side of the city so my recommendations of places are more quiet and nature oriented. My favourite part of all of Toronto is the area of Cabbagetown, it’s the part of the city where a lot of the older and more Victorianesque houses are and would be at the top of the list for places I want to live in Toronto. Around there there are parks, a farm and the Toronto Necropolis that gives the coziest and homiest vibes. I also recommend going to the Brickworks which is an abandoned brick factory that has been revived into a sort of museum/learning facility that has walking trails and ponds with lots of animals! I think you’ll enjoy Toronto because in my opinion if you stay away from downtown it almost feels like little small towns with all the different and individual neighbourhoods that coexist around the core of the city! Best of luck and maybe we’ll run into each other! 🤗
I'm an introvert living in Sydney. The things that help me are my two kittens, my large collection of books, and the myriads of fabulous bookstores to lose myself in! Take it slow and be gentle with yourself. Breathe. Much love to you.
My niece is an introvert and suffers from anxiety. She has never travelled any where on her own, always with family. 2 weeks ago she flew from England to Idaho on her own to see her boyfriend. You can do this, love moves mountains.
I'm sending you good vibes on your moving adventures, Emma. I am an HSP and introvert and come from a small hillbilly U.S. town. I moved to Warsaw, Poland when I was your age. I had never used public transportation before nevermind jumping on and off trams in a big crowded city hearing no English. I can tell you to lean into your art. I'm a photographer, so I hide behind the camera. I explored the city with the lens as my excuse. I could be alone and channel my anxiety through my interpretations of what I was seeing via photographs. It definitely got me through. Since literature is your art, definitely write about everything you experience. Lean into it, always hold a book like a safety blanket and find your quiet spots to recharge from the bustle of the city. You got this! 💖
Its so interesting that you hate cities so much as a fellow introvert I am completely the opposite. There is nothing more I hate than being in the countryside and no amount of the pretty descriptions can make me fall in love with the country. I just somehow feel that I feel less alone in the city as there are thousands of lives who have so many stories. The type of people you meet have so much variety and one of the best things is that there will always be someone who can be there for you in your life.
@@katerina9159 I did however I feel that it doesn't really change your preference. Everyone in my family has grown up in the city however I'm the only one who loves the city. They all prefer village life. Plus there are many people who grow up in villages and prefer the city much more. I think it's just a matter of preferance or sometimes something to do with your inner being.
Good luck with the move, Emma! I grew up in a rural town and then moved 13 hours to a city with my husband for his schooling where we knew no one else. I now love the sense of community I feel living in a city even though I don't talk to many people. I feel like I live in a neighborhood for the first time in my life because I can walk and bike to places whether that's cafes and bookstores or city lakes and nature parks. Because I drive less, I feel like I notice more. You start to appreciate the bits of nature that you can find in the city. I would love to live in a cottage in the woods, but those public spaces in cities reach so many more people which is cool to think about. And if you get tired of the hustle and bustle, you can do a little getaway and get that "escaping from the city" feeling which becomes more precious. Also, if you have a good window, lots of visual stimulation in store for Calcifer.😊
Also a book recommendation if you haven't read it yet: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. It doesn't exactly romanticize city life, but it's one of my favorite books, and I found it really comforting to re-read after moving.
Glad to see you happy with Calcifer. Just stop reading 1q84 to watch your vlog. To live in a big city can be great, you could find lots of things to do and more diversity among people, just don't forget to find small cozy places physical or in your head. Books are great for that so I think your going to do great!!!🤗
I moved from a small town to a big city for university and after five years I got tired of it, but up until then it felt so exciting! Even though you can’t have the same privacy that of a small town, being an introvert in a big city can be kind of ideal. You get to camouflage yourself but also you can push your comfort zone on your own and at your own pace! I’m currently taking a gap year and I miss city life because I could look for so many plans on my own! I used to look for museum exhibitions and cute parks and places to wander… Also, it’s a great place to try to learn things you maybe couldn’t do before. I so wish I had taken a pottery class before leaving! Oh, and beautiful architecture and cute cafés! It’s also easier to meet people with your same interests if you try any new stuff! It’s a different pace but you can learn so much about yourself and grow so much! I hope your transition goes as smooth as positive, maybe it’ll surprise you
As someone who moved from a small seaside town to a city, it did get some getting used to! But honestly, I really love having access to so many more things and different kinds of people, also being closer to events such as concerts was such a big help. Like me, I think it's also good if you love nature to go to parks as often as you can or even take a trip to the outskirts of the city to get some of the nice fresh air. Also as you already have, having plants and decorating your place to feel homier and cottage-like helps a lot:)
When I was younger I moved to Toronto from small town Ontario. I moved on my own. It was a wonderful experience for me being someone who loved culture and the arts. I spent all my 20s there and dived in to the experience. Markets, thrifting, books, art galleries, antiques, food from different cultues. Check out St. Lawrence market and the Sunday antique market on the Esplanade….still love, still go every so often. Toronto is wonderful for the young, so much to experience. I was pretty broke in my 20s but still found so much to do and experience in my budget. I have since moved back to a smaller city to raise a family, but still enjoy visiting old friends in Toronto.
City living introvert here! The way I coped most is turning my apartment into my own little safe haven. Outside might be big city but it might as well be a cottage on the inside lol. Also, finding the places near your apt that you can go to, kind of make your own little bubble and then gradually expand so it’s not too overwhelming. That helped me at least!
Hi Emma 👋🏻 I’m from a small town in Tennessee and moved to Miami 10 year ago. I would say what helped me the most (as an introvert and a reader) was to get a library card. Because I went there so frequently, I got to know the librarians and it’s a small way of feeling like you “belong”. There aren’t many bookstores where I live so that’s why the library was the second best thing 😅 find some small spots of nature if you can and a few other places that make you feel comfortable. That helped me the most when I moved. I hope your move goes well 💖
Dear city living: what a fascinating look at humans you are. While the worst of government failure and indifference is represented on your streets, from the lack of city planning to homelessness, you carry a pride and capacity unique to hubs of business and culture. The noise never stops, but that means someone is always doing something interesting, and if I need you in the night, be it for food or care or comfort, you are there. If I need refuge from the sun or rain in the day, your coffeehouses and bookshops await me with open arms. My work brings me people of so many faces and names, and while my neighborhood is lovely, I can get anywhere with ease. I do like my car, but she is a luxury not a necessity. My friends are at hand no matter how far, and if I seek companionship there are any number of places made just for me to explore. Nature is close, and cared for, and diverse. I can pass through Mother Nature when I need her and right back home again. My tastes have expanded, and my appreciation of little moments too. Art is everywhere, and stories, in every stage of creation. History is around every corner, wedged in with modernity and change, but some things are forever, like the horse rings and narrow streets and old houses. With so many people together, there’s a little bit of everyone, and everyone gets to shine, creating points of starlight everywhere I look, and anywhere I haven’t yet. We’ve built over the ground, but with it too, with odd streets matching the hills, and spokes of travel branching off a waterway that could care less what we’re up to. Dogs are everywhere, and they usually like to say hi but I always ask first because it’s their city too. Never approach a goose, but there’s probably a pigeon many people see on their walk every day. If you want to show off your new dress, the streets are your runway. If you want to simply exist, no one is judging you I promise. We are all just people, making the stone and glass come alive with creativity and thought. Home is sacred, and here you can make it exactly what you need it to be. Signed, a country girl with a state park pass and a job downtown.
but did they read it?! Socially awkward introvert in the city survival kit: - noise cancelling headphones - gravity blanket - GPS and public transport apps - A great view - Walking spots/parks - Great playlists to romanticize/main-character-fy your day to - A Library card (or 4) - Sweet fur babies
What i usually love about cities is that there’s lots of things to do, you don’t necessarily have to do them, but they are there if you want them. The museums, the different cafes, the bookstores and stores to browse, people watching, the diversity of people (in cultures, ideas, origins…etc) are a few of my favorite things that make me happy and keep me company when I’m feeling lonely💌🌱🦢☕️🎞
Praise alone doesn't advance or teach anything. Definitely. It's the critiques that sting most that will likely grant access to many lessons in the long run. Brava for the insight.
Reading After Dark this month also took me out of the largest reading slump! I quickly ordered Kafka on the Shore, Sputnik Sweetheart, and Norwegian Wood! Murakami has my heart! 🤍
City Boy here: when it comes to big cities; don't think of it as ONE HUGE CITY -- that's super overwhelming. Think of it as a bunch of little cities right next to each other, which is a much more manageable chunk to have to deal with at a time. Start with your 'neighborhood' and all the amenities there and branch out slowly. Don't feel pressure to try to see/explore everything at once. Good luck! Love from British Columbia
I was born and raised in NYC, and the biggest advice I can give is that it isn't a big deal. People build up city's as this big different thing where people are mean, but honestly it is just another place. This might be useless but the best thing to do is assume you belong there, walk like you know where you are going even if you're lost, and ask people for help if you need it, 9/10 it will be a fine experience. Go to libraries, join clubs and activities, explore your museums. Frankly you don't have to start a convo, usually if you put yourself in a situation where you can be social, social people will go to you. It will be uncomfy sometimes, you may have a panic attack in public but the nice thing about cities is that you are never the weirdest person someone has seen. Cities are home to me, every day in the city is the introduction to a new setting in a book. Like it is always amazing and wonderful but even when it wears off you get to watch other people be amazed at everything. There is always something new to discover. However that being said, take care of yourself, you may start to feel isolated, especially if you are studying from home and you don't have a reason to leave the house. Stick to a schedule and force yourself to go to public places no matter how much it sucks. And reach out to friends and family as needed!
I moved from my hometown of Hamilton to Toronto and I love it. Has its problems like any city, but there is so much nature and as an introvert I like how anonymous I feel. And if you don’t bike, I highly recommend taking it up. So many amazing trails, and areas to explore. Plus: cinemas, small bookstores, live music. It’s pretty sweet, especially once you carve out your own little niche.
Hi Emma, congrats on your fun news! I have lots of advice, lol. I moved from small town USA to France, and did my studies in Paris, which definitely is a big city. My biggest piece of advice is, do *not* isolate yourself! Get out of the apartment, find a coffee shop or bookstore or library close by that you like. Second, get yourself on a schedule, especially since your partner will be working, you might feel alone (I was lonely when my partner worked late hours in the beginning). Third, keep up with your friends and family, whether it be by phone / video or in person visits! Finally, don’t be afraid to tell your partner if you’re lonely, I didn’t tell mine for the longest time because I felt kind of guilty, but once I opened up about my days being lonely, he came home earlier and we made mutual friends and did more stuff, etc. I know you said you’ll be finishing up your classes online, so that will be nice to keep you occupied as well! I ADORE living in big cities, I love the thought of so many strangers lives moving alongside my own. I love the hustle and bustle and the mystery of it all. I love finding new café’s and bookstores to get lost in. I love the job opportunities and just the overall amount of choices there are, whether it be different restaurants, cinemas, parks, cultural events, etc etc! You will be just fine ❤️
I'm an introvert as well but love visiting Toronto, it always inspires me. The amount of cultures and different people you're exposed to is amazing and very eye opening. There are endless places to explore, both nature and shops/restaurants...including cool book stores and fun places to read! Definitely squeeze as much experiences as you can out of this while you can because it's lifechanging in many ways. Also public transportation is pretty good, you don't need to drive much which is good in the current moment. Some of the grocery is cheap too if you go to places like Spadina!
Girl, I share a city with nearly 12 million people. It's chaos. From where I stand, there are two options: living in the suburbs, where there's more space, nature and affordable housing options (always, always take your book with you on your commute; I spend about 5 hours a day on public transportation when I must go downtown, which is crazy), or living as close to work as possible (ideally, on the same street as your working place). I've tried both and they are both manageable, with their pros and cons. Living in the suburbs, we tend to travel less on weekends, we end up staying at home and relaxing more. Living in the heart of the city, we had more options for busy activities, like theaters, shows, etc. I suspect you would prefer the house in the suburbs, with your own garden, but I might be wrong. 🙂
Oh man a love letter to cities! I have to admit, I completely understand what you are going through. I am a deeply introverted person who needs nature to feel like myself. Everyone who knows me well cannot believe how long I've lived in Toronto (or that I moved here in the first place). Not only that, they don't believe how much I love it. Living in the city, for me, is all about mindset. There is noise, yes, and people and smells. But there is also so much beauty to be found. I see my life like a daily treasure hunt. No matter what block I am on, there are trees to be found, animals to marvel at, and the sky - I know it may not seem like it, but it's as endless here as anywhere. There is always the ability to look up and realize while you may be surrounded by concrete, you are every bit as part of nature as anywhere. The birds still sing here too. I love coffee shops and libraries and bookstores and let me tell you, there are so many here. There is nothing better for me than a coffee shop on a rainy day with a book in hand. I think people think a "city life" has to look a certain way. I grew up in the middle of nowhere and know I certainly had that notion moving here. But it doesn't have to be clubs or bars or patio season, or hustle and bustle. All those things can be great for lots of people, but there are also so many quiet places to read, museums to study, and again, coffee to be had. And parks! And finally, my favourite, most treasured place when I need a deep breath is Mount Pleasant Cemetery. You're so lucky to be moving near the water because I know that would be my number two! Have a wonderful move. I hope you enjoy city life for a little bit. It's by no means perfect, but having been a fan of yours for a while, I have every confidence you will find joy here 🥰
When I was in school I had a similar issue in regards to feedback. I studied theatre and I wouldn't get notes when we were all given notes on our performance. And I completely understand the battle in your mind between being happy that they're happy with you but knowing you have no way to gain anything from the experience if you can't learn anything new. I would try my best to find things for myself to work on and sometimes would even ask the tutors for feedback directly. I used to then feel guilty for complaining that I had 'nothing to work on' cause it seemed so petty. It's a tough line to walk ha
Hi Emma!! I've been living in Toronto for 4 years, and I think one of my favourite things about the city is the abundance of Bookstores! One of the most popular is probably BMV, which I love, but extremely close to BMV on Bloor Street is another one called Seekers Books that has a lovely selection of used books and an Orange cat who lives in the store!!! I'd highly recommend going to both of these on a little bookstore hopping day :))
I moved to Toronto in Nov 2000 and have never left. My family and I live right down town, not far from the lake. My spouse and I gave up our car a few years ago because the insurance was getting way too high (despite provincial promises to keep car insurance low) and with such easy access to street cars and buses and taxis, it is actually pretty easy to get around town. Assuming you have not yet completed your degree, will you be transferring to U of T? OK she says she is doing it online. When my son was much younger (as in age 3 and 4 years old) we would sometimes hop on a bus on a Saturday and go for a trip and explore Toronto. We travelled all over the place on a day pass and had so much fun. I think we stopped doing that by the time he started grade 1 at 6 years old. But the 3 years we did this on the fine weekends it was fun. We went to casa loma. That was cool!! We used to go to High park quite often especially during the summer so he could play on the playground (the one that burned down several years ago). We have not been back since then. But if you are near High Park, you can do what Helene Hanff would do, put a book of poems in your slacks pocket and go to the park (high park in Toronto) and read. But only on the fine days!! High park is a great place for introverts. Lots of paths to walk and places to sit and read and feed the pigeons and/or ducks. If you can still do that. I'm not up to date on that stuff. it's been years since we last went. My son is now an adult so like I said, that was years ago!! Black out curtains on the windows are a must at night - especially during the summer because it stays light to 10 pm and gets light before 6 am - In the middle of summer. I would be happy for you to get in touch with me to chat if you want someone to talk to, but just know that I am of your mothers generations, not yours. I dont use all the social media although I do have a facebook page. Leave me a reply here and hopefully I will find it. Also my brother-in-law lives in london and he sometimes comes to Toronto for weekend visits to see his family - he has 2 brothers in town. One of whom is my spouse. It's not that far to travel to see family!!
Awwww, bestie! I'm so happy that you're gonna move to a new city! It's honestly one of the rewarding things you can do in life (unless you hate the city, but then you can always move again). It can really expand your view of the world and build your personality even more. I grew up and used to live in this really small German village until I was 19, which is when I moved to Hamburg, the 2nd biggest city in Germany. Don't get me wrong, the big city can be overwhelming for sure, but it also just has so much to explore. I've lived there for almost 6 years now and I still feel like I only know 30-40% of the city. Also, there's just so many more possibilities. I can just go to a nearby comic book shop or a neat bar or a really cool Ramen Restaurant. All of that would never have been able in my small town back then. So I just love the variety of the big city life. I think you might learn to like it as well, in time
City tips for introverts:
1) blackout curtains. Both because the constant light can be a bit much and because sometimes you just need to feel like you’re more alone
2) find your comfort spots. Whether it’s a bookstore, coffee shop, specific park, or public building, look for the places you vibe with and feel recharged by. Try and find some that are close by, and some that require a bit of a trip so that you have options depending on what you need
3) in the absence of a comfort spot find places where you can just be anonymous. Places where nobody cares or bothers you when you go about your business
4) figure out what your city tolerance and plan day trips/weekends out of the city based on how much you can handle.
5) look for the little oddities and curiosities that only happen in cities. It can help you find the beauty in a place
thank you SO MUCH for this, would never have thought about a few of these - very excited for some cool day trips in the future!
@@emmiereads I’m so glad this is helpful! For day trips you might want to look at Hamilton. There are lots of walking trails, the Royal Botanical Gardens, and tons of waterfalls. There’s even a place called Donut Monster that does amazing vegan donuts. I hope your move goes smoothly!
That's kinda overkill.
@@shambhav9534 let people enjoy things lol
I’m an introvert and I live in NYC. The larger the city, the easier it is to escape into yourself and your own inner life. I’ve lived in NYC 13 years (I’m from a small town) and would never live anywhere else. You would be surprised how many introverts are in large cities.
You may also find a lot of love for and interest in The Odd Woman and the City by Vivian Gornick. I recommend this book to anyone moving to a city for the first time. Best to you, Emma.
A book I would recommend for falling in with the idea of a city is Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino.
i couldn't agree more!!! when i moved from NYC to chicago, i was like "where are all the people?!!" i'm very introverted & i love me the anonymity of big cities. click-my-heels- twice 💕
@@eliezeraltshul8550 i read if a traveller on a winter night a few months ago. it was awesome. i bought invisible cities too and i hope to read it soon.
Yes! This is also my favourite thing about cities. I grew up in a small town where everyone knew each other. In the city I can just exist with little judgement.
This is so true! I'm living in Paris (and I'm from countryside) and feeling exactly the same. I'm feeling at ' home ' because I can so easily escape and feeling very blessed for that
Hi Emma! I've been living in Toronto for about 10 years now, so far. We're the same age and same level of introversion (I think ), and honestly, I don't go out as much as others in my age group. The most I do is find huge cozy parks like Edwards Gardens, High Park, etc., and visit BMV, a fantastic second-hand bookstore, and Indigo, of course. One thing you may enjoy about Toronto is Museum life. I highly recommend the Art Gallery of Ontario and Aga Khan Museum, and there are some Klimt and Van Gogh exhibitions from time to time. I recommend exploring Dundas, Queen, and Yonge street for little shops of antiques and plants. I usually go by myself with a book in hand to find a small cafe near these streets after University classes.
-Who knows, maybe one day we'll run into each other at an Indigo or a BMV store :) I hope your move goes smoothly!
ah writing all of these down, thank you so much! I'm so excited about the museums and ah that would be so nice:')
@@emmiereads i absolutely second the bmv! i go there almost every week, and it’s always fun to just browse. there are also so many other cool bookstores in toronto! i also recommend walking trails!
I echo all this, I'm from Montreal but I try to visit Toronto multiple times a year because I love it. I'm very much an introvert as well but I love having the option of going out and seeing all the life going on in bigger cities and like @SaraBookpedia already mentioned there are so many nice parks and public areas to chill and read. Oh and yes BMV rules!
I also live in Toronto! I hope we bump into each other, Emma :) Personally, my favourite place in Toronto is Reyna on King right above Distillery District. It is the coziest, most wholesome and well-decorated little nook of a bar you'll ever see.
The Art Gallery of Ontario also has free passes for people under 25!
Just do whatever Murakami's unnamed characters do when they live in big cities: go get ramen, go to the movies over and over, walk around the parks, go to the bars, jazz clubs, go search for weird Sheep, etc etc. lol
fall down a well, enter a parallel world, just casual things🤷🏻♀️
Omg Emmie your little carpet monster is getting so big! I love seeing him get more comfortable and confident ☺️ also I’ve never ready any of Murakamis books but I love hearing your insight on his thought process
he's so curious and opening up so much, it's so wonderful to watch his personality emerge:') ooh if you ever pick up any of his novels I cannot wait to see what you think!
I will be reading After Dark by Murakami this month .... It is my first book of murakami !! 💙 and I love your orange fur ball 😍😍
@@parul6658 oh i read after dark recently and it really had a huge impact on my life i hope u enjoy it too!!
As an introvert who used to live in Manhattan, I say there’s a comfortable loneliness in being in a big city. It’s one of those things where there are so many people that you are protected of people paying attention to you.
Speaking as an anxious introvert who LOVES cities, you can always ALWAYS find quiet places where the city doesn't feel so big. Make your apartment your safe haven and take advantage of quiet cute coffee shops and bookstores! And what I love most about cities is how many interesting people live there!! All I have to do is go outside and I could see someone and learn something new about humans.
So I'm an introvert who used to live in Shanghai, I went from growing up in the countryside straight to a mega city and I loved it! I'm totally a city person. I'm so interested in people and just looking at them. I also loved that when I wanted to socialise it was easy. I loved the community of neighbours and shop workers that I had, a way closer community than in the country unexpectedly. A city is an organism and I loved learning its ways, how it moved and breathed, and being a part of it all. I felt so alive and connected there! I hope you come to love Toronto too
I do love people watching so that's definitely something I'm looking forward to, I'd love to write something in Toronto too, I feel like it's the perfect place for inspiration! your words are so gorgeous, thank you for this
@@emmiereads thank you so much, that means a lot coming from you as I love the way you speak and express yourself
I'm so excited for your big move (even if you aren't)! I am an introvert living in a city, but I have grown to love it. The sounds of the city are actually quite comforting to me, knowing that there's always someone awake. You have so much more available to you in the city! At least here in the states. Which means book stores that aren't chains, small niche shops, family owned restaurants. Nature is of course pretty lackluster, but it allows me to appreciate nature even more. I hope that you grow to love Toronto!
that's so nice to hear, and yesss the food in Toronto when we visited was much better and very excited for all the book stores! thank you so much
I think if you find a few happy places, like perhaps a small park, a favorite little book shop, a library, a tea shop, etc. it will make big city living more tolerable.
Oh my! New apartment coming soon! 🏡 🎉 cannot wait to get into Murakami one day.
Hey eevee! 🐶
Hey calcifer! 🐈
As a fellow London Ont. native introvert who moved to a big city (not Toronto, but comparable), I'd say take trips to nature as much as you can!! The Toronto Islands are lovely in the summer (and winter!) and are a much needed break from the city 💜 and if you can, check out the royal botanical gardens just outside Hamilton (it's about an hour out on the GO bus but VERY much worth it!!), they're absolutely stunning, and a wonderful day trip to bring a book on!! Best of luck on your move!!
awe hi!!! thank you so much for the tips - I've been to the islands and they are lovely so I'm excited for them and ooh the gardens sound so lovely, thank you so much !
Yes, the Toronto Islands are beautiful!
I moved to the U.S. from Argentina and as a fellow introvert what allowed me to not be scared to jump into the unknown was to remind myself that most people are nice. We often don’t even put ourselves out there because we are scared of rejection, but I promise that most people are kind and even fun to talk to so don’t be afraid to just talk to random strangers hahaha. I hope this helps and wish you the best of luck in Toronto!🥰
What I love about living in a big city is that you can be anonymous and still surrounded by people. It can be so freeing to not have anyone know who you are and what you’re doing. I feel like I can be more individualistic this way. I have always been a nature-freedom person and not a concrete-road-freedom but I still feel free in the city. Living together with so many people makes you really feel the possibilities and vastness of human life. Sometimes I like to go to crowded areas and muse about what kind of life everyone there has. Sometimes being alone and looking at the night sky is what you need but sometimes you also need to feel that no matter when you are awake there is always gonna be someone awake with you.
Also there is always gonna be a group of people you share an interest with, no matter how obscure there’s always gonna be a buddy for you in the city.
Not to mention that everything is just so much more accessible shops, classes, clubs etc for everything in close proximity.
exactly.
I’m a Toronto gal that hates living in the city, and what I’ve found really helps is finding your small corners of the city to make your own. I used to live proper downtown (spadina and queen) and found a residential street I could detour down to get home, and that moment of quiet was really special. Toronto is also a place that you can go out on your own and no one looks sideways.
I also recommend the Ronscesvalles/ High Park neighbourhood; there’s more little libraries than I can even count, and so many small businesses and good people. And the park itself is a real escape from the city, with so many paths and wildlife
Agreed. High Park in Toronto is very much like Central Park in NYC - a large green area, great for introverts, with cities on either side!!
Oh Emma, I've got you with the city thing! I am a total small town, rural Ontario girl living in downtown Ottawa, so I know exactly what you're feeling. I won't lie to you, it can be tough, especially when my mental health isn't great, but being around nature, even just small patches of it, really helps (especially the bodies of water--I find that they help to drown out the noise of the city when I'm feeling overwhelmed). Don't let this scare you though; living in the city can be absolutely wonderful. I am utterly in love with the multiculturalism and the variety of experiences that are at my fingertips. There are so many places to explore, especially with the excess of public transit, so it's hard to get bored. It'll also be so fun for you to have a whole new range of book stores and libraries and cafes to discover (city cafes are the best--they all have their own unique atmosphere and are all so beautiful in their own way). I completely understand your anxiety but I think that you'll have some truly marvelous experiences in Toronto. I'm so excited for you and your partner! I hope this helps :)
My tip to living in the big city - as someone who loves the big city but is a massive anxious introvert - is to not stress on how big the city is. It feels overwhelming at first but you soon realize that you kinda have your own corner of the world there. Find a comfort spot (coffee shop, bookstore, park, etc) and get acquainted with the area around it. So don't feel shy to wear headphones and listen to music lol The city can get noisy and overwhelming, but a good pair of headphones and your favorite movie will make you feel like you're in a 90s romcom.
Oh also, don't feel afraid to ask store owners and staff for directions or even places to visit. Most people in the big city know that it can be overwhelming and confusing. A lot of them are always willing to give you directions and recommend places.
omg that's a big change! i can totally understand what you mean about big cities. i grew up on a small island with a total of ca. 5000 people, and then i moved to the second biggest city (bergen) in norway... the biggest change was the fact that no matter where you go, there's ALWAYS people around. but you do get used to it! and it's kinda nice to be able to walk down the street knowing that the chance of running into someone you know is minuscule. that gave me a sense of freedom i had never felt before, having grown up in such a small town.
my best tip would be to find your favorite spots and go as often as you can and want to! even in big cities, there are places that feel cozy and peaceful. sometimes, it's even more special to find a serene place in the hustle and bustle of a big city. maybe see this as an opportunity to try something new and perhaps a little scary. it could end up being a very precious time in your life! sometimes the best moments happen outside of your comfort zone.
also, know that you're not alone in this. i applied to universities this spring, and might end up moving to a whole new part of the country that i've never been to before (tromsø, norway), in just a month. if that's the university i get accepted to, i have no idea where i'm gonna live or how the helllll i'm gonna get myself and all my stuff there (it's VERRRRRY far away) and that's absolutely terrifying! but also a little exciting and a great opportunity to experience something new!! "be curious, not judgemental"
I’m introverted and I’ve lived in big cities all my life (I was born in a city with 1,5 million population and now I live in a megacity with 12 million people). I honestly love big city life. There are so many things to do, so many things to see, so many people to meet. I think big cities are good for both introverts and extroverts as they can offer so many things. Don’t be afraid :) being a TH-camr, you actually have a lot of people from all over the world who can help you.
Two things:
1) I agree with everyone else’s advice. I’m an introvert in Portland, OR and I am so much happier than when I lived in a small town in Appalachia. I wanted to add one more piece: Apply for a plot at a nearby community garden! You will feel like you’re bringing nature back to a dead space. I have one in Portland and it completely satiates my cottage core addiction
2) From experience as a lit student, profs who don’t give constructive feedback on paper are usually willing to give it during office hours when you can actually have a conversation about it. Email them and set something up!
Have you been to Powell’s yet? It’s a huge bookstore that covers an entire city block. I used to live in Portland until I was 8 and occasionally get to go back. 😊
My favourite thing about living in the city is watching people, just sitting in the park or a cafe and watching all the different people coming by. I also love to go on long walks to find hidden spots, to find rooftops where you can watch the sunset and the sunrise to find small cafes and art galleries and quiet places.
Hello Emmie! I've been following you for almost a year now and this is the first time i'm commenting. You asked about love letter about what we like in big cities- it reminded me of a little something i wrote a few years back about my experience in living in Tokyo, where i moved for my studies (i'm from France!) And so i wanted to share it with you, because this text (which is part of a bigger story) is like a love letter i've written. Hope you might see this little comment and enjoy! Thank you for sharing your videos with us :)
My love letter to Tokyo:
"Tokyo is already dark but still full of life, and the well-known Shibuya crossing is buzzing. The advertisement screens all over the high buildings surrounding the area perform for the umpteenth time their colorful videos, and japanese words and songs flow through the frenetic air. It's a cacophony of sounds that is overwhelming at first, but became home to her pretty quickly. Shibuya isn't the prettiest borough of Tokyo, but it's one of the little windows from where the world sees the intriguing capital. It's funny to realize that what is her everyday life can be a far away and dreamed place for someone else at the other end of the world.
For years, this place has been her dream, too.
It's one of those nights she takes the extra care to be more attuned to what's around her, takes the extra second to truly sees each details of the streets. The way they wait at the crossing for it to turn green, the way the mass of people submerges the asphalt when it finally does. Some tourists have their phone high in the air to record a glimpse of the impressive yet usual crowd.
How can someone crave to live in such a place, where there's so many people it's nothing close to feeling intimate, more like she's drowning in the ocean? At first, she asked herself this. And then she realized it doesn't matter that Tokyo holds so many people. It's part of its charm. Tokyo welcomed her with the same way it welcomes everyone: with the jingle of each Yamanote station, with the conditioned air in the convenience stores, with the river who plays hide and seek and suddenly reveals herself a few streets away from the busy roads. She just had to notice it all, and put a part of her heart in each detail, to get accustomed to the city and carve herself her own seat, like she choses a seat on the train when she goes to campus.
She yearned so much to be in this place, and sometimes she wonders how she can like it more and more everyday, now that she's there. It's just a city, it's just another country, another language. And yet, even if France definitely feels like home, Japan does, too."
I live in Toronto, am deeply introverted and this is one of my favorite places to live. I tend to stay clear of the downtown core and spend my time in the diverse divisions like Greektown, Little Portugal, Koreatown, etc. What brought me here is the vastness and incredibly high level of the strong and supportive music community, but what keeps me here is the food, the art and the beautiful people. I think you'll like it here
The thing I love about living in a big city is people watching. Like sitting on your own in a café, with your own music playing and watching the people around you. Imagining their lives. Also - I'd imagine there're quite a lot of literary talks, books festivals etc in a city like Toronto!
Love letter to a city. I live in Paris. Besides finding pockets of nature that become your own, personal safe havens, the best part about city living is discovering news things every day. I highly recommend hopping on public transport to visit a new spot, museum, attraction, whatever, and walking home after. On your way home, you get to find hidden treasures, familiarize yourself with the city, and feel inspired by those small, magical moments of new discovery. Also, your home space becomes so much more meaningful and comfy when you get to come back home from a day of big-city-living. If you build yourself a cozy home full of stuff that brings you joy, you'll never feel overwhelmed by the occasional city-madness, because escaping it will be easy. :) it'll be swell
I'm an introvert that lives in the biggest city of my country (moved there 4 years ago for university) and I assure you that big cities are the best thing. No one cares who you are or what you're doing, and you can avoid people super easily. I would never go back to living on a small town just because big cities give you a very nice anonimity.
making a murakami playlist is such a good idea, i'd stop and listen to music he mentioned (in 1Q84 especially) but never kept track across books - can you post the playlist?
can you mention some other songs that he mentioned in his books? i can send you a playlist on the songs he mentioned in hear the wind sing & pinball 1973
th-cam.com/play/PLGmkgsyqHhGdjS6RrCGk-hqoC4dksQIMt.html
Kafka on the shore
Found the 1Q84 one
th-cam.com/play/PLp9wuxhiq1Icdb76lDBE_3UiqX1ClFUH1.html
And this channel has some amazing ones th-cam.com/video/OUqrCknPTn0/w-d-xo.html
@@cheraudrey8896 You can find some of the jazz track he mention in Tokyuo Blues or 1Q84 in this channel th-cam.com/video/XPKpOBGsoOs/w-d-xo.html
I am an introvert and moved from Ottawa to Los Angeles (one of the biggest of the big cities!) at about your age (now 23 years ago - so about the half way point of my current life!) so I can relate to your apprehension about the big city although my move was completely my choice for my own work. The main advice I would give you is that a big city is just a lot of little cities put together and you can find little secret pockets of pure beauty within ALL of those little cities. Some of them feel like your own private discovery! I have found so many treasures in the middle of unknown parts of the city. I love nature too so I’m always looking for special little parks in the middle of new neighborhoods as well as cool buildings, bookstores, streets …. The exciting thing is that the amount of this discovery is almost endless!! So don’t worry - you will find your way in amongst the myriad of little/ big cities in Toronto! Good luck and I’m really looking forward to your blogs from a brand new place!
I'd say that's a pretty accurate description.
Oh lovely Emma,
I’m 26 and have never moved out of my hometown so I can empathize with the anxiety. I do have to say, you’ve picked an incredible city as Toronto is my favorite place in the world. I normally visit at least once (hopefully more) times a year and the pandemic broke my heart by not allowing the travel, understandably. I am extremely extremely introverted and living in a suburb in Ohio my entire life there was still something about Toronto that truly captured me the first time I visited.
I wanted to share some of the things I always have to do when I’m in the city in hopes that it can make you fall in love too. Firstly, the Toronto sign. I know it sounds dumb and silly but there’s something about the open area and beautiful surrounding buildings that always bring me such joy. Bringing some food and just sitting by the open fountain is such a lovely experience. Secondly, Dundas & Yonge square, which can be super overwhelming at first, but if you slowly walk down Yonge there are so many special places you can find. Lastly, my biggest piece of advice is truly immerse yourself in the many many incredible cultures represented in Toronto. Some of my favorites are ramen (there are many veg options), boba tea, Portuguese cuisine, attending a show, visiting Markham (I have a friend there!) and it’s beautiful authentic asian culture, authentic French breads, and so so many more.
I was able to visit last week for the first time in 2.5 years and the love I feel for the city never leaves. I wish you nothing but the best exploring and enjoying your time. Maybe someday we’ll happen to run into each other and can discuss the beauties and perils of life. Although, I know you’ve already moved (I believe you were there the same week I was??) here’s to a wonderful new existence in a place full of majestic wonders.
-Ashley
Emma! Your introvert moving to big city because of partner fear really struck a chord with me. I similarly dreamed of moving to a little cottage in England (where I'm from), but my partner got a job in Kinshasa, capital of the DRC, and we moved here for his work. It's a city of 17 million and could not be more the opposite of the life I'd envisioned for myself! I've actually been super happy here though, and I think it's down to:
1. Having the attitude that I am adaptable and can find joy and happiness anywhere.
2. Alone time in the little world of my home- reading, writing, making videos etc.
3. Finding the things I love about being here. There are always things to love in cities. I'm about to move to London UK now, and am excited for theatre, bookshops, museums, coffee shops...
You're going to have a wonderful time in Toronto, I'm sure of it! ☺ Excited to follow along for the journey
I have always lived in a small village, in a house with a garden, and a 2 minute walk from the forest. A year ago I started my PhD in Antwerp. As much as I love that city, I do not want to move there (yet), as I love living together with my parents and brother at home and have grown to really appreciate nature and the quiet of my hometown. So now I do a total commute of 4,5 hours/day to my work, which of course is not ideal either. I do think you can be annonymous quite easily in a big city. What I experience from my time spending in the city, and travelling through busy places, is that I can grow tired of people and noise quickly, and start noticing the messy-and uglyness of cities and humankind. That is why finding quiet spots more inmersed in nature, away from crowds, stores (capitalism), such as parks, or small local spots is essential for me when being there. Also a big sucker for architecture, it makes me truly happy, and (old) cities tend to have some pretty areas for this. And the sun. Find the sun, especially when surrounded by buildings that constantly block it. I hope it will work out well for you!! And I def share your idea of living in the middle of nowhere
yes! I love Murakami with all my heart he is a great writer!
also your editing style is so beautiful and calming, I love watching your videos
Ok, so I’m incredibly introverted, grew up in a town of 65k and have now live in a city of 2.3m and honestly? I kind of love it. There’s something fun about living somewhere so big, I love getting to explore and I always get a bit of a thrill from discovering something new. I’m on a perpetual journey to find ‘the best’ of any given thing in my city (the best movie theater, the best ice cream place, the best book store, etc) and its really satisfying to stumble upon a new favorite.
There’s also just so much to do! When musicians or shows go on tour they nearly always stop by where I live, there are so many museums and free events plus if I want to feed any new niche interest of mine I can always find a local community of people who are interested in it. Not to mention that cities always attract so many different types of people that you can really get to meet tons of interesting individuals plus it creates an environment that is- at least in my experience- significantly more open minded than in smalls town.
Hey Emmie, Torontonian (and introverted book lover) here. I know coming here can be stressful, but there are a lot of things from the city you can absorb and benefit from. Toronto Public Library is one of the best I’ve experienced (and I’ve been to many cities across the world). There are plenty of quiet spots (parks, cafes, etc) where you can park yourself, absorb humanity, but still seek the solitude you need to be creative. Speaking of which, the multiplicity of people to meet from across the world truly is inspiring, and I say this as a naturalized Canadian who came from abroad and has lived in many cosmopolitan cities-the pluralist ethos of Toronto is still there and acts like a microcosm of the world. I’d love to give recommendations of places you may love in future videos. To start for bookstores I recommend: Type Books, BMV, Balfour Books, Ben McNally’s, and of course the Bay/Bloor Indigo
I've read hear the wind sing, pinball 1973, wild sheep chase and 1Q84 and i think at this point i can say that the only value murakami books add to you is basically finding out new and great music and having the chance to tell people that you've read murakami (this wont stop me from reading the rest of the books because i still can't get over the 'la raison d'etre' line in hear the wind sing and am hoping to read more lines like that)
I'm an introvert and I live in NYC where people are literally everywhere. Despite this, it's surprisingly intimate. When I tell people this they look at me like I'm nuts but you won't really know until you live in a large city yourself. I'm from a small city down in the deep south United States and New York is the only place I see myself living in the US. My advice is to explore surrounding areas and escape because cities can be overwhelming but when I get a chance to escape to a small town for the weekend it's so therapeutic... it's just something about noticing your life slow down for a little while.
I think living in a city when you're not a city person really comes down to what you make of it. I'm a serious introvert and I grew up in LA. I learned how to find a lot of natural places to escape to and hikes and parks. Also, bookstores and coffee shops. I also used to date a guy who LOVED living in LA and we went to all kinds of cool places. I moved to a smaller city in Oregon right before Covid, and I've actually been having a really great time. My boyfriend and I figured out ways to make the most of our days (it helped that I had an essential job during Covid so wasn't at home alllll day). Even though I'm not IN LOVE with where I'm currently live, we still decided to buy a house here and I'm still enjoying living here. I've found bookstores, coffee shops, made friends through my work, and found lots of hikes.
EMMMAAAAAA,
It’s such a coincidence that I watched this video the same day I was writing a poem about how I love cities. I’ve lived in LA my whole life and I moved to a smaller town for college and now I, back home for the summer. In my experience, being in a small town meant an emphasis on being agreeable and pleasant in public. It just didn’t sit right with me.
As an introvert, I enjoy the anonymity of being in a larger city, getting lost in a crowd and people watching. You can take up space while blending in. Seeing people be their truest self, whether it be starting a fight on the metro, or yelling at their boyfriend in public, or dancing on the sidewalk. I love being surrounded by unafraid, unapologetic ppl. Also meeting strangers and having small talk knowing you’ll never see them again
as someone who was born and raised in one city, then moved to another (that I also didn't want to move to), getting to find the local bookstores, cafes, shops, family owned businesses is so fun, learning where the best parks are away from the cars, knowing that when you sleep the world outside is still bustling and people are around (that's always given me comfort), access to public transportation, etc. I'm sure it'll take a while to grow into the city, but I'm wishing you luck!
I grew up next to the mountains, in a town in Romania of 120k people and during summer in a village of like 100 houses. When I moved to The Netherlands in a city of 400k I was shocked of how much more was available. Food, events, stores… it was mind blowing. Then we moved to suburbia to a town of 60k. I love having parks and water next door. But I also love having bookstore and nice cafes and restaurants close by. Whenever I travel to metropoles I slightly envy people for the amount of stuff they have access too, because I have to make an effort to get to it. So make sure you enjoy all the exhibitions, festivals, bookstores, cafes, workshops… and enjoy nature! That has been my salvation my entire life 💕 good luck!
I also recently moved to a city I never expected to live in because of my partner! We were both born and raised in the GTA but moved to Vancouver for him to go to grad school. It was definitely scary since all my family and friends are still in Ontario but after being in lockdown forever it was exciting to go somewhere new. Here in Vancouver we have a cozy apartment with a cat and we're fairly close to nature which is super important to me! I lived alone in Toronto for 5 years while I was in uni, I'm a big introvert too so it could get a bit lonely living by myself, but the city has so much to offer! I lived right by Union Station (actual concrete hell, but great for transit) and my favourite nature escapes were Coronation Park, Trillium Park, High Park, and Toronto Island.
(Posting on my husband’s account)
I’m an introvert with anxiety. When I’ve had to live in cities, I kept blackout and noise reducing curtains and I kept them closed most of the time. It ultimately wasn’t sustainable for my mental health and we’re now back in a house in the suburbs where I feel much more at ease. Also, find your little corner that you love, whether it’s a cozy bookstore/cafe or library or whatever and find your tribe. I wish you the best of luck as you move!
Huge introvert, living in a big city in the US that is only getting bigger and more metropolitan by the day. My coping mechanisms is finding spots I can be around nature (so close hiking trails, or quiet neighborhoods with lots of trees, etc) and generally avoiding areas of high traffic and lots of movement. I need quiet and it's been getting harder and harder living in a city that is expanding rapidly with so much commotion, but if you look around there are always pockets of other forms of life, I just learned how to tune out the noise we humans make to be able to hear the birds and cicadas sing! Also, I take advantage of the evening and spend a lot of time on my balcony reading when things are quieter and less blinding.
On the flip side, l like that there is so much access to a variety of foods from around the world and many coffeeshops that is a walkable distance. Also, if there is a new activity or hobby I want to try it's easy to find classes or others doing the same.
Cheers to your new adventure.
Hi Emma! I get your anxiety about moving to a big city. It can seem so vast an busy and filled with people. What helped me was realising that big cities often aren't this one huge thing, but a collection of smaller, more contained parts. Often neighbourhoods in big cities are their own little villages with their own identities (sometimes they literally are small cities that have been 'eaten' by the larger whole) Your new neighbourhood will probably be a small city in itself. Find places you enjoy there, try different coffee shops, find a local branch of the library or a nice bookstore near you, take walks around your neighbourhood and make your home a calm place of comfort. Break the giant city down to your own small part in it first, and when you feel tethered to your own neighbourhood, you can discover the other neighbourhoods in your city. It can be so much fun to have all these different "mini cities" within reach. But whenever i have lived in large cities, it was always my own neighbourhood that felt like my home city. The rest of the city was just extra space to venture out in and discover new things whenever i felt like it. I promise it can be fun and not too overwhelming. You will be ok :)
I live in the biggest city in my country and I usually cope by bringing my headphones everywhere. It really comforts me to listen to music. I also make sure I have a few of my favourite places nearby where I can wind down, read and eat/drink something nice to cheer me up after a terrible or difficult day. What I love about the city is how many interesting things go on there. You can find art exhibitions, old bookstores, interesting coffee shops and fascinating people. At first it’s stressful but the commotion becomes a part of something larger and beautiful.
I’m sure you’ll love it in Toronto, Emma!
As a fellow intertovert, I have such a love-hate relationship with cities (I've grown up in Portland - a medium-sized one). I love how much variety of good food there is in cities (I'm guessing there might be an easier time finding Vegan food)! I love all the small business of all sorts (book stores, clothing, food, etc). I also really love access to trains and light rails etc as I hate driving!
While I haven’t lived in cities with millions of people, I love living in cities. Some of my favorite parts of living in cities are reliable public transport and being able to walk or bike places, that there is always something to do or something new to try (galleries, museums, specialty shops, concerts, cafes and restaurants, free events) and that it is a lot easier to break out of your own little bubble. Generally places are open longer and there are good connections for traveling to other places.
As an introvert it’s great because you don’t run into people you know a lot and there’s plenty of small talk topics. There’s also a lot more places to explore when going on walks. I would recommend having noise canceling headphones with you for when things get too much.
My biggest advice for finding friends in a new city is signing up for an activity you enjoy: sports team, volunteer work, book club, religious group, art class, language class, etc.
Good luck with your move!
Love Calcifer’s energy 🥺 my tips for being an introvert in a big city is finding walking trails.
Luckily for me, my city was a 30 min drive from a large Forest. Me and my partner would stop off and grab coffee on the way, then go on long 2 hour walks. It’s how we would spend every weekend. Find the areas the ground you, because living constantly in the hustle and bustle can be draining.
Also, don’t shy away from the city. Honestly, I do think sometimes it’s not about what you’re doing but who you’re doing it with. Me and my friends would typically go out on weeknights (not as busy), but would still enjoy the city centre just the 4 of us. Sometimes we would go out for a cocktail and end up finding a quiet pub that was doing a random Thursday night karaoke. Finding like minded introverts to enjoy a busy place with is bliss!
Hi Emma! I'm from a rural town in the middle of California and I moved to Orange County (one of the most populous, city places in the US) so my partner could go to school. I am also not a city person at all but we're making it work. I would say explore regularly until you find some spots you like (cafe, park, beach, anything), make sure you like your apartment and get yourself flowers or something?? I'm a big fan of flowers every couple weeks. As for making friends the more you get out and go to the same places the more you connect with people. Also look for events/meet ups that interest you and look for people there. The one cool thing about cities is there's no shortage of people 😂 when you spoke about feeling ok about your reasons for moving, but still being apprehensive about the city I felt that. SO HARD. It's a lot, especially if the move is motivated by your partner but it's gonna be good! Even in big cities there are quiet, cozy spots and you're gonna be figuring it all out with your person ☺️ (end rambling )
Possible city positives from someone who has always lived in the city (and is married to a partner who always lived in small towns):
-You can meet way more people from different cultural backgrounds.
-Huge, HUGE Libraries that will let you check out like 60 books at a time.
-Museums, Zoos, Concert Halls, Musical Theaters, Arborateums, Holiday events like Parades/ Octoberfest etc.
-Delicious food, omg. Also, I've never been to Toronto myself but I know from my coworkers that there is a huge Asian population with really amazing Asian Grocery stores and restaurants.
I’ve been in your shoes. I lived in one city my whole life and then moved to Toronto because my partner got a job there. Not going to lie, I didn’t love Toronto, but what helped me a lot was taking weekend trips and exploring around Toronto. There are tons of cute towns and nature. Go to Elora, Niagara-on-the-Lake, Algonquin, etc. You’ll love those.
I love your kitty! Big cities!!! I love visiting different libraries, tea/coffee shops, book stores, and reading books set in the city...visiting different neighborhoods...there are so much diversity in the city that expands your knowledge of others.
i’m brazilian and i live in one of the biggest cities in here, i’m also an introvert and it’s kinda funny to hear you say about feeling a little worried about being an introvert in a big city cause i’ve always felt more uncomfortable in small towns. i just feel like everybody knows you in a small town, everybody sees you, and in big cities you can walk around almost invisible, nobody really cares and i love that, it’s like that quote from persuasion, i don’t remember exactly but it’s something about only a crowd being able to offer loneliness and silence, and it’s kinda how i see big cities
Honestly for my introverted ass moving to a big city has been the absolute best. I love the anonimity, I love the abudance of pleaces where I can just go sit and read by myself and not be disturbed, I love the millionth activities you can do on your own, from museums to courses of any kind and ofc people watching. I think cities can really save us introverts cause you can be on your own and still get external stimuli. On top of this I bet Toronto will offer you a whole new array of ways to experience your love for books through events, presentations, clubs and so on. I totally get why you feel conflincted, but the amazing thing about metropolitan cities is how they hold space for litterally everyone, so I have no doubt you'll find your little nook of peace in Toronto 💜
I live in Las Vegas and also am an introvert and I love living here besides the city is so big no one even talks to you. My favorite thing is how accessible everything is and how many unique things there are to do, there's always some place you haven't been to.
I don't live in a city but I do go to them often along with wanting to go to a college in NYC. I think the best thing to remember is that people don't talk to you there if it isn't needed and having head phones in too most likely will also stop people from coming up to you. I recommend finding a comfort place that you can go to like a coffee shop, bookstore, or the lake. MOST importantly try your best to get involved with things of your interest so you can have people to talk to there:) hope moving goes well!!!
Hey, Emma! Best wishes for your move-I've always lived in a big city and I'm not the biggest fan of it, but I will say that you find comfort in the smaller things. Finding a great second-hand bookstore that smells like old book pages and has a floor that endearingly creaks with your every step, exploring the downtown area of a city at night and people-watching as you make your way through a bustling town square. Finding your favorite family-owned boba shop that you recommend to all your friends. Gazing out your apartment window close to midnight and witnessing the quiet miracle of two people falling in love on a lonely street bench. I don't know, I guess the beauty of a big city lies in finding the places that you can enjoy all on your lonesome, but also those places that you can enjoy in the midst of a huge crowd.
P.S. Where is your watch from? It's so pretty!
Okay this was such a beautiful comment, thank you for your words❤️and it’s from Nordgreen!
This is so exciting! I grew up in a small mountain town in Colorado, but now I live in Atlanta, Georgia and it's been so amazing! I thought I would never like the city, but it seems like something that is just part of growing up. What I love about it is the diversity and the energy -- there's always so many fun events and things going on, so much to explore, and there's communities for everyone and everything. Whatever your interests, there is a place for you. We never get bored and we're constantly trying new things. You will really love it!
I'm an introvert that lives in Vancouver and I honestly could not be happier to live in a big(ish) city! I moved here about 12 years ago and never want to live anywhere else. I love the anonymity of it, and there's always something going on that I'm excited to do. Best of luck with your move Emmie, and hope Toronto is all you could hope for!
Hi Emma, I've lived in Melbourne, Australia for a long time and I love the rural life. My family live rural and I had to move to the big city for employment. There isn't a lot of employment in the country towns. I am an introvert and a loner. Once you have your place and are settled in you find your parks, nature places and you become one with them. I love people watching, I love the cafes and being able to sit outside al fresco, at them and watch the world go by or read a book while I have a drink. Just listening to peoples voices. Sometimes you need that stimulation to assure yourself that you're not alone. I don't like making social but I like knowing the world is out there and around me. I love listening to the street noise and hearing the activity as people go about their thing! There is something alive about cities, the nights are amazing when the city lights light up the sky. The city is simply a vibe you just come to appreciate. How far away from your parents will you be? Will you still be able to visit often? This helps! If you can get home every now and again it helps with the craving for nature and home!
I’m an introvert and am from Washington, D.C. and actually love it! I don’t go out much but do enjoy how many independent book stores, coffee shops, and shops there are. I also appreciate the museums a lot which I feel like you don’t get as many in smaller areas. There are so many different kinds of people in cities so even though there are more people, I feel more comfortable because I don’t think people are as judgmental because it’s more diverse in general & people aren’t going to pay much attention to you. It’s also helpful to be able to use public transit or walk around more than having to drive everywhere. I’m sure you’ll grow to like it!
i am a murakami fan too. i read 12 books of him. i saw same 1q84 edition background of one of her videos. cant wait to read it and hear her thought about it as well.☺
I always thought I hated big cities, but I had to move to Montreal for school, and now I miss it soooo much. I am an introvert and I like being alone and in nature a lot, but I felt at home walking around in this big city. There is sooo many people, that you dont feel scrutinized as much, everyone is themselves and I didnt feel judged at all. No makeup, not amazing clothes, and I didnt care because everyone is different. Also, I enjoyed being in the bus and observing people around me and taking notes. Like, once I saw a man with all leather clothes, he looked like a typically motorcycle dude, amd he was playing Candy Crush. It just made me smile. 😋 Its fun to observe people in huge cities I think! Everything is also accessible, any food you want at any time, and I bet you will find a new absolute favorite bookstore. 🌹
My experience might be outdated, but I think that you will like some aspects of Toronto a lot!
- the convenience! There's lots of shops nearby, lots of small or chain cafes to work or study at, which considering you're gonna do school online, it can help to be a nice change of pace
- toronto has lots of parks and they feel relatively safe since there's a lot of ppl (if they are more secluded, I'd recommend going with someone tho)
- lots of libraries! The closer you are to downtown, the more libraries there are
-lots of museums (rom, gardiner, pop up museums) to check out, lots of old sites and accessible sceneries, lots of culture to explore and places that you can get to by walking, or bus
- lots of walking!
- tip: invest in a good pair of noise canceling headphones, the walls are thin in small apartments, and there's always some type of construction going on, the headphones will help a lot with the anxiety
I hope that you can enjoy the city enough for the time that you're there!!
I live in Copenhagen and I’m sensitive to noise and I’m definitely an introvert. However, I have come to love and cherish these years! Just to sit outside a café and enjoy the hustle and bustle, how you can easily go out for a drink on any given night, find all the small bookshops selling preloved books! At home it can be nice to have the radio/music on for some background noise that you can control. Good luck, I’m sure you will love it :-)
Btw I looove Murakami ❤️
im a major introvert but live close to san francisco, what i love about the city is everyone is so wrapped up in themselves that it kind of gives you the feeling of privacy and being unnoticed which is actually helped by there being thousands of people around. it sounds counterintuitive but really when you pass by thousands of strangers a day, your not going to notice that one person having a bad hair day. i also just love that theres so much to observe in bustling cities, its a dream outing of mine to just take the bart to downtown oakland or sf and spend the day exploring.
I live in the de facto capital city of my country. I just happened to love being alone in super busy cafe or street or whatever. It’s a vibe and you’re gonna love it. When you’re alone in public, you’ll have this kind of time lapse of people around you moving so fast and you just watch it. It’s the best feeling and the greatest epiphany of living life. Good luck Emma
I was on my way to watch one of your old videos when I got a notification for this one, made me so happy 🤗❤️
i was watching one of her old videos too. what a coincidence 🤩
I'm a city girl, I live in Montreal and I just love my city soooo much. I did find my neighbourhood, the one that feel right to me and I rarely venture out of that area because EVERYTHING i need is right here, walking distance. Cozy coffee shops everywhere, parks, amazing neighbours, 0 waste grocery stores, public library, my kid's school, etc. The city is where it's at for me. And I can enjoy the calm of the country every once in a while when i go on vacation.
I’m 18 from suburban USA and just got back from studying and living in Incheon, South Korea! I’m also an introvert and what helped was creating little pockets of calm wherever I went. Having a constant like a book, tote bag, etc. with me everywhere and placing everything around where I sat helped me feel more calm. It will take some time to get used to the amount of people constantly walking but I think it becomes more of a comfort as time goes on. Finding cafés and boutiques near you to frequent and become a regular at is really great. It makes the area around you feel familiar and knowing the people that work at the store is so fun. It makes the city feel like an extended home. After going out, recharging with really comforting media and food (hot cocoa? :)) helps a lot and is so rewarding! I would also often pick up a little treat to enjoy once I got back home so I could sort of reflect on my day. Toronto will be so fun! So much to explore and become apart of in a way. I hope all of this made sense, I just woke up.
(Also, I am currently beginning my bachelors degree in English Literature! Love your videos! :))
Hi Emma! I lived in Toronto for 8-9 years without ever even visited before, not knowing what to expect (also because of my husband’s job). It ended up feeling like home to me pretty quickly and I think it will always have a special place in my heart. 🖤 I found it easier to make friends (comparing it with where I live know, Kelowna BC) because almost every one in Toronto has also moved in from somewhere else and are in need of friends too 😆. So you never feel like the only ‘stranger foreign one’. My advice if you work from home would be to sign up for a class part time or something, this is to force yourself to have a routine in the city so that you get used to it faster (i took a baking class on Saturdays 🤣). Also, if your partner goes to an office will also help in meeting new people. And lastly, the faster you are able to make your apartment feel like home also helps a lot. There’s wonderful food, people are nice and I hope you will be able to feel at home sooner rather than later 🙏
*bonus: Muskoka is wonderful place when you crave to feel more in nature for a weekend thing
Greetings (soon-to-be) fellow Torontonian! I’ve lived here all my life but like you I’m more of a small town kind of person. I’m not really one for the downtown and busy side of the city so my recommendations of places are more quiet and nature oriented. My favourite part of all of Toronto is the area of Cabbagetown, it’s the part of the city where a lot of the older and more Victorianesque houses are and would be at the top of the list for places I want to live in Toronto. Around there there are parks, a farm and the Toronto Necropolis that gives the coziest and homiest vibes. I also recommend going to the Brickworks which is an abandoned brick factory that has been revived into a sort of museum/learning facility that has walking trails and ponds with lots of animals! I think you’ll enjoy Toronto because in my opinion if you stay away from downtown it almost feels like little small towns with all the different and individual neighbourhoods that coexist around the core of the city! Best of luck and maybe we’ll run into each other! 🤗
Calcifer - the carpet monster - absolutely love him!
I'm an introvert living in Sydney. The things that help me are my two kittens, my large collection of books, and the myriads of fabulous bookstores to lose myself in! Take it slow and be gentle with yourself. Breathe. Much love to you.
My niece is an introvert and suffers from anxiety. She has never travelled any where on her own, always with family. 2 weeks ago she flew from England to Idaho on her own to see her boyfriend. You can do this, love moves mountains.
I'm sending you good vibes on your moving adventures, Emma. I am an HSP and introvert and come from a small hillbilly U.S. town. I moved to Warsaw, Poland when I was your age. I had never used public transportation before nevermind jumping on and off trams in a big crowded city hearing no English. I can tell you to lean into your art. I'm a photographer, so I hide behind the camera. I explored the city with the lens as my excuse. I could be alone and channel my anxiety through my interpretations of what I was seeing via photographs. It definitely got me through. Since literature is your art, definitely write about everything you experience. Lean into it, always hold a book like a safety blanket and find your quiet spots to recharge from the bustle of the city. You got this! 💖
Its so interesting that you hate cities so much as a fellow introvert I am completely the opposite. There is nothing more I hate than being in the countryside and no amount of the pretty descriptions can make me fall in love with the country. I just somehow feel that I feel less alone in the city as there are thousands of lives who have so many stories. The type of people you meet have so much variety and one of the best things is that there will always be someone who can be there for you in your life.
did you grow up in a city?
@@katerina9159 I did however I feel that it doesn't really change your preference. Everyone in my family has grown up in the city however I'm the only one who loves the city. They all prefer village life. Plus there are many people who grow up in villages and prefer the city much more. I think it's just a matter of preferance or sometimes something to do with your inner being.
Good luck with the move, Emma! I grew up in a rural town and then moved 13 hours to a city with my husband for his schooling where we knew no one else. I now love the sense of community I feel living in a city even though I don't talk to many people. I feel like I live in a neighborhood for the first time in my life because I can walk and bike to places whether that's cafes and bookstores or city lakes and nature parks. Because I drive less, I feel like I notice more. You start to appreciate the bits of nature that you can find in the city. I would love to live in a cottage in the woods, but those public spaces in cities reach so many more people which is cool to think about. And if you get tired of the hustle and bustle, you can do a little getaway and get that "escaping from the city" feeling which becomes more precious. Also, if you have a good window, lots of visual stimulation in store for Calcifer.😊
Also a book recommendation if you haven't read it yet: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. It doesn't exactly romanticize city life, but it's one of my favorite books, and I found it really comforting to re-read after moving.
Glad to see you happy with Calcifer. Just stop reading 1q84 to watch your vlog. To live in a big city can be great, you could find lots of things to do and more diversity among people, just don't forget to find small cozy places physical or in your head. Books are great for that so I think your going to do great!!!🤗
I moved from a small town to a big city for university and after five years I got tired of it, but up until then it felt so exciting! Even though you can’t have the same privacy that of a small town, being an introvert in a big city can be kind of ideal. You get to camouflage yourself but also you can push your comfort zone on your own and at your own pace! I’m currently taking a gap year and I miss city life because I could look for so many plans on my own! I used to look for museum exhibitions and cute parks and places to wander… Also, it’s a great place to try to learn things you maybe couldn’t do before. I so wish I had taken a pottery class before leaving! Oh, and beautiful architecture and cute cafés! It’s also easier to meet people with your same interests if you try any new stuff! It’s a different pace but you can learn so much about yourself and grow so much! I hope your transition goes as smooth as positive, maybe it’ll surprise you
As someone who moved from a small seaside town to a city, it did get some getting used to! But honestly, I really love having access to so many more things and different kinds of people, also being closer to events such as concerts was such a big help. Like me, I think it's also good if you love nature to go to parks as often as you can or even take a trip to the outskirts of the city to get some of the nice fresh air. Also as you already have, having plants and decorating your place to feel homier and cottage-like helps a lot:)
When I was younger I moved to Toronto from small town Ontario. I moved on my own. It was a wonderful experience for me being someone who loved culture and the arts. I spent all my 20s there and dived in to the experience. Markets, thrifting, books, art galleries, antiques, food from different cultues. Check out St. Lawrence market and the Sunday antique market on the Esplanade….still love, still go every so often. Toronto is wonderful for the young, so much to experience. I was pretty broke in my 20s but still found so much to do and experience in my budget. I have since moved back to a smaller city to raise a family, but still enjoy visiting old friends in Toronto.
City living introvert here! The way I coped most is turning my apartment into my own little safe haven. Outside might be big city but it might as well be a cottage on the inside lol. Also, finding the places near your apt that you can go to, kind of make your own little bubble and then gradually expand so it’s not too overwhelming. That helped me at least!
The instant pure joy and happiness just from a notification 🥹
Hi Emma 👋🏻 I’m from a small town in Tennessee and moved to Miami 10 year ago. I would say what helped me the most (as an introvert and a reader) was to get a library card. Because I went there so frequently, I got to know the librarians and it’s a small way of feeling like you “belong”. There aren’t many bookstores where I live so that’s why the library was the second best thing 😅 find some small spots of nature if you can and a few other places that make you feel comfortable. That helped me the most when I moved. I hope your move goes well 💖
Dear city living: what a fascinating look at humans you are. While the worst of government failure and indifference is represented on your streets, from the lack of city planning to homelessness, you carry a pride and capacity unique to hubs of business and culture. The noise never stops, but that means someone is always doing something interesting, and if I need you in the night, be it for food or care or comfort, you are there. If I need refuge from the sun or rain in the day, your coffeehouses and bookshops await me with open arms. My work brings me people of so many faces and names, and while my neighborhood is lovely, I can get anywhere with ease. I do like my car, but she is a luxury not a necessity. My friends are at hand no matter how far, and if I seek companionship there are any number of places made just for me to explore. Nature is close, and cared for, and diverse. I can pass through Mother Nature when I need her and right back home again. My tastes have expanded, and my appreciation of little moments too. Art is everywhere, and stories, in every stage of creation. History is around every corner, wedged in with modernity and change, but some things are forever, like the horse rings and narrow streets and old houses. With so many people together, there’s a little bit of everyone, and everyone gets to shine, creating points of starlight everywhere I look, and anywhere I haven’t yet. We’ve built over the ground, but with it too, with odd streets matching the hills, and spokes of travel branching off a waterway that could care less what we’re up to. Dogs are everywhere, and they usually like to say hi but I always ask first because it’s their city too. Never approach a goose, but there’s probably a pigeon many people see on their walk every day. If you want to show off your new dress, the streets are your runway. If you want to simply exist, no one is judging you I promise. We are all just people, making the stone and glass come alive with creativity and thought. Home is sacred, and here you can make it exactly what you need it to be.
Signed, a country girl with a state park pass and a job downtown.
but did they read it?!
Socially awkward introvert in the city survival kit:
- noise cancelling headphones
- gravity blanket
- GPS and public transport apps
- A great view
- Walking spots/parks
- Great playlists to romanticize/main-character-fy your day to
- A Library card (or 4)
- Sweet fur babies
What i usually love about cities is that there’s lots of things to do, you don’t necessarily have to do them, but they are there if you want them. The museums, the different cafes, the bookstores and stores to browse, people watching, the diversity of people (in cultures, ideas, origins…etc) are a few of my favorite things that make me happy and keep me company when I’m feeling lonely💌🌱🦢☕️🎞
Praise alone doesn't advance or teach anything. Definitely. It's the critiques that sting most that will likely grant access to many lessons in the long run. Brava for the insight.
Reading After Dark this month also took me out of the largest reading slump! I quickly ordered Kafka on the Shore, Sputnik Sweetheart, and Norwegian Wood! Murakami has my heart! 🤍
City Boy here: when it comes to big cities; don't think of it as ONE HUGE CITY -- that's super overwhelming. Think of it as a bunch of little cities right next to each other, which is a much more manageable chunk to have to deal with at a time. Start with your 'neighborhood' and all the amenities there and branch out slowly. Don't feel pressure to try to see/explore everything at once. Good luck! Love from British Columbia
I was born and raised in NYC, and the biggest advice I can give is that it isn't a big deal. People build up city's as this big different thing where people are mean, but honestly it is just another place. This might be useless but the best thing to do is assume you belong there, walk like you know where you are going even if you're lost, and ask people for help if you need it, 9/10 it will be a fine experience. Go to libraries, join clubs and activities, explore your museums. Frankly you don't have to start a convo, usually if you put yourself in a situation where you can be social, social people will go to you. It will be uncomfy sometimes, you may have a panic attack in public but the nice thing about cities is that you are never the weirdest person someone has seen. Cities are home to me, every day in the city is the introduction to a new setting in a book. Like it is always amazing and wonderful but even when it wears off you get to watch other people be amazed at everything. There is always something new to discover. However that being said, take care of yourself, you may start to feel isolated, especially if you are studying from home and you don't have a reason to leave the house. Stick to a schedule and force yourself to go to public places no matter how much it sucks. And reach out to friends and family as needed!
I moved from my hometown of Hamilton to Toronto and I love it. Has its problems like any city, but there is so much nature and as an introvert I like how anonymous I feel. And if you don’t bike, I highly recommend taking it up. So many amazing trails, and areas to explore. Plus: cinemas, small bookstores, live music. It’s pretty sweet, especially once you carve out your own little niche.
Hi Emma, congrats on your fun news! I have lots of advice, lol. I moved from small town USA to France, and did my studies in Paris, which definitely is a big city. My biggest piece of advice is, do *not* isolate yourself! Get out of the apartment, find a coffee shop or bookstore or library close by that you like. Second, get yourself on a schedule, especially since your partner will be working, you might feel alone (I was lonely when my partner worked late hours in the beginning). Third, keep up with your friends and family, whether it be by phone / video or in person visits! Finally, don’t be afraid to tell your partner if you’re lonely, I didn’t tell mine for the longest time because I felt kind of guilty, but once I opened up about my days being lonely, he came home earlier and we made mutual friends and did more stuff, etc. I know you said you’ll be finishing up your classes online, so that will be nice to keep you occupied as well! I ADORE living in big cities, I love the thought of so many strangers lives moving alongside my own. I love the hustle and bustle and the mystery of it all. I love finding new café’s and bookstores to get lost in. I love the job opportunities and just the overall amount of choices there are, whether it be different restaurants, cinemas, parks, cultural events, etc etc!
You will be just fine ❤️
I'm an introvert as well but love visiting Toronto, it always inspires me. The amount of cultures and different people you're exposed to is amazing and very eye opening. There are endless places to explore, both nature and shops/restaurants...including cool book stores and fun places to read! Definitely squeeze as much experiences as you can out of this while you can because it's lifechanging in many ways. Also public transportation is pretty good, you don't need to drive much which is good in the current moment. Some of the grocery is cheap too if you go to places like Spadina!
Girl, I share a city with nearly 12 million people. It's chaos.
From where I stand, there are two options: living in the suburbs, where there's more space, nature and affordable housing options (always, always take your book with you on your commute; I spend about 5 hours a day on public transportation when I must go downtown, which is crazy), or living as close to work as possible (ideally, on the same street as your working place). I've tried both and they are both manageable, with their pros and cons.
Living in the suburbs, we tend to travel less on weekends, we end up staying at home and relaxing more. Living in the heart of the city, we had more options for busy activities, like theaters, shows, etc. I suspect you would prefer the house in the suburbs, with your own garden, but I might be wrong. 🙂
Oh man a love letter to cities! I have to admit, I completely understand what you are going through. I am a deeply introverted person who needs nature to feel like myself. Everyone who knows me well cannot believe how long I've lived in Toronto (or that I moved here in the first place). Not only that, they don't believe how much I love it.
Living in the city, for me, is all about mindset. There is noise, yes, and people and smells. But there is also so much beauty to be found. I see my life like a daily treasure hunt. No matter what block I am on, there are trees to be found, animals to marvel at, and the sky - I know it may not seem like it, but it's as endless here as anywhere. There is always the ability to look up and realize while you may be surrounded by concrete, you are every bit as part of nature as anywhere. The birds still sing here too.
I love coffee shops and libraries and bookstores and let me tell you, there are so many here. There is nothing better for me than a coffee shop on a rainy day with a book in hand.
I think people think a "city life" has to look a certain way. I grew up in the middle of nowhere and know I certainly had that notion moving here. But it doesn't have to be clubs or bars or patio season, or hustle and bustle. All those things can be great for lots of people, but there are also so many quiet places to read, museums to study, and again, coffee to be had. And parks!
And finally, my favourite, most treasured place when I need a deep breath is Mount Pleasant Cemetery. You're so lucky to be moving near the water because I know that would be my number two!
Have a wonderful move. I hope you enjoy city life for a little bit. It's by no means perfect, but having been a fan of yours for a while, I have every confidence you will find joy here 🥰
When I was in school I had a similar issue in regards to feedback. I studied theatre and I wouldn't get notes when we were all given notes on our performance. And I completely understand the battle in your mind between being happy that they're happy with you but knowing you have no way to gain anything from the experience if you can't learn anything new. I would try my best to find things for myself to work on and sometimes would even ask the tutors for feedback directly.
I used to then feel guilty for complaining that I had 'nothing to work on' cause it seemed so petty.
It's a tough line to walk ha
Hi Emma!! I've been living in Toronto for 4 years, and I think one of my favourite things about the city is the abundance of Bookstores! One of the most popular is probably BMV, which I love, but extremely close to BMV on Bloor Street is another one called Seekers Books that has a lovely selection of used books and an Orange cat who lives in the store!!! I'd highly recommend going to both of these on a little bookstore hopping day :))
I moved to Toronto in Nov 2000 and have never left. My family and I live right down town, not far from the lake. My spouse and I gave up our car a few years ago because the insurance was getting way too high (despite provincial promises to keep car insurance low) and with such easy access to street cars and buses and taxis, it is actually pretty easy to get around town.
Assuming you have not yet completed your degree, will you be transferring to U of T? OK she says she is doing it online.
When my son was much younger (as in age 3 and 4 years old) we would sometimes hop on a bus on a Saturday and go for a trip and explore Toronto. We travelled all over the place on a day pass and had so much fun. I think we stopped doing that by the time he started grade 1 at 6 years old. But the 3 years we did this on the fine weekends it was fun. We went to casa loma. That was cool!!
We used to go to High park quite often especially during the summer so he could play on the playground (the one that burned down several years ago). We have not been back since then. But if you are near High Park, you can do what Helene Hanff would do, put a book of poems in your slacks pocket and go to the park (high park in Toronto) and read. But only on the fine days!! High park is a great place for introverts. Lots of paths to walk and places to sit and read and feed the pigeons and/or ducks. If you can still do that. I'm not up to date on that stuff. it's been years since we last went. My son is now an adult so like I said, that was years ago!!
Black out curtains on the windows are a must at night - especially during the summer because it stays light to 10 pm and gets light before 6 am - In the middle of summer.
I would be happy for you to get in touch with me to chat if you want someone to talk to, but just know that I am of your mothers generations, not yours.
I dont use all the social media although I do have a facebook page. Leave me a reply here and hopefully I will find it.
Also my brother-in-law lives in london and he sometimes comes to Toronto for weekend visits to see his family - he has 2 brothers in town. One of whom is my spouse. It's not that far to travel to see family!!
Awwww, bestie! I'm so happy that you're gonna move to a new city! It's honestly one of the rewarding things you can do in life (unless you hate the city, but then you can always move again). It can really expand your view of the world and build your personality even more.
I grew up and used to live in this really small German village until I was 19, which is when I moved to Hamburg, the 2nd biggest city in Germany. Don't get me wrong, the big city can be overwhelming for sure, but it also just has so much to explore. I've lived there for almost 6 years now and I still feel like I only know 30-40% of the city.
Also, there's just so many more possibilities. I can just go to a nearby comic book shop or a neat bar or a really cool Ramen Restaurant. All of that would never have been able in my small town back then. So I just love the variety of the big city life. I think you might learn to like it as well, in time