I just stumbled across your video rn and i have never seen your channel or your videos. I just want to say big respect for posting something so private but it meant a lot to me and reminded me why i got better and why i got over my disordered eating. So thank you for posting this and i hope it helps others like it helped . It made me feel less alone with the issues i went through in my teen years. The feeling of loneliness and feeling like i'm not enough and left out. I hope you are doing fine and you are living your happiest and best life. Much love and big hugs❤️
I’m currently going through disordered eating since last year in early May ‘21… I don’t even want to say I have an Ed because I don’t feel as though plus I haven’t been diagnosed.. I’m 18, I don’t want to be like this forever .. it’s literally hell but this video helps me cope and I hope to recover someday without feeling all the guilt and shame I’ve been experiencing the past months. Thank you, you seem so sweet. I’ve actually upped my calories to 800-1000 max this because I’ve lost my period this month fr😞 these past months very badly irregular. Also binge restrict cycle since October. Very bad in Nov-Dec. I’m trying. Sorry to throw this all at you. 💛💛💛 just found you and you seem so comforting.
Melanie, I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time. What's important is to remember to be kind to yourself and remember that you CAN recovery. Eating disorders can come up in many different ways but I would urge you to seek out professional help. It's really hard to recover on your own. I know how hard and scary it is, but recovery is so worth it. I'm proud of you for increasing your calories, it's hard but really good for you. Keep going, you've got this. 💪❤️
The empathy in your face when you started reading sad entries from your past was really important, I think. It’s good to be able to read back and look at your younger self with love and empathy, somehow it makes it easier to look at your current self with love too. I am smoking weed & sending you a high five for a year well met indeed 👍 Happy January! (It’s my birthday on the 9th wheeeeeee! I’m having 🥐 for breakfast 🙌😊)
It is good to be able to read back on old memories but can be sad sometimes... But your'e right, it helps to look forward to the future. Happy early birthday to you and enjoy the weed and croissants!
At 2:00 when you said "I would even be anorexic" really hit me hard, because I used to say the same thing when I was around 10-13 I remember crying alone in the bathroom saying "I would rather die anorexic than die fat" It's really sad that all of this ideas about weight and weight-loss get drilled into all of us from a very early age
It’s an unfortunate thought that I think a lot of people may have had, and it’s too bad that we have thought this way. We should be taught to love our bodies as opposed to hate them - something we all need to work on. Happy new Year.
HNY to you too. Reflecting is so vital but I get stuck in a circular vortex so I try hard to be present but also have a nod to the past. We can’t change the rubbish that has gone on in the past but we can change our attitude towards it. Massive thank yous and love to Fig xxxx
Happy New Year to you too Kate :) It is always good to reflect but just as good to try and stay in the present moment. You are so right how we can't change the past but we can set ourselves up for a good future. Love back to you from Fig and I ❤️
Dearest Maddie, ty sm for reading us ur stories, it was sad but i got to knoe u more🥰 i think u r the strongest girl in the world, u come so far! Its Ok not to do the right things all the f***** time, its ok to fall sometimes 💖 We all got stuff to work on, o hope u got someone to talk to. I think ur powerfull, pretty, have an amezing hair, smile, i love the way u write, talk, and i think most of all that u r intresting!! ❤🥰🐰🥰 Ty for shearing such deep feeilings💜. I really want to hug u. Really do...😻 loves and kisses my friend, im here for u allways🙏❤🙏
Awww thank you for the comment ❤️ Thank you for the kind words, I really appreciate it. And you are so right, it's okay not to do the right thing all the f***** time. I really do appreciate the compliments! Hugs and kisses back ti you, take care!
Happy New Year❣️ Talking about your past might be another great step to letting go of it 🥰 What about starting a series in which you try eating like your fav movie characters, celebs etc. - not necessarily for the sake of getting over that ed shit, but also just for fun as you want this to be a channel that doesn't relate to recovery stuff only ☺️
Happy New Year to you as well! I would love to try a series like that! Maybe when I get home. It would be nice to so more than recovery stuff and I know people are interested in that sort of thing. Any suggestions of who you would like me to follow?
For example "How does the slice of bread with strawberry jam and honey from Tom and the slice of bread with strawberry jam and honey taste?" or the cinnamon rolls from Angela Anaconda orrr the chocolate cake from the movie Matilda 🥰 just an idea 😊
These kinds of videos are so important for recovery. Reflecting on past struggles are so helpful in order to move on. These are not boring at all! You are such an inspiration for me to continue to recover. Last weekend I went out to eat. It was terrifying, but remembering how you do scary things is so helpful. As always, best wishes to you and Fig!
Reflecting on our past is SO important, as you said. Maybe I will do more videos like this when I get home. I am so proud of you for pushing yourself and fighting the ED. I am glad you have found my videos helpful :) Love back to you from Fig and I ❤️
Aww Maddie to hear what you went through in your adolescence saddened me. You really were in a bad place emotionally growing up but wow look at you now and what you have achieved!!! You should be so proud of yourself! Not having had an ED, I'm not sure how I came across your channel but I am so glad I did. I guess you are now in Costa Rica and having a great time. Happy New Year Maddie, hope 2022 brings you good health and all the happiness you deserve. ❤️❤️ xx
Thank you Dianne ❤️ I am glad you came across my channel as well as I really love your comments. I am in Costa Rica right now but very busy... not sure if I will have time to make my videos as in-depth but will be sure to try. Happy New Year to you as well and best wished for 2022!
Maddie Jane Thank you! Whatever you have time to publish will be most appreciated as I understand you are working in Costa Rica. I rewatched some of your Costa Rica videos yesterday as I found them so entertaining. Keep on striving for your best life 😍
"I wish in 10 years from now I'm better." Wow. Way to speak into the future. Poor old Maddie. She was going through so much. I love how much you've grown and how you were able to show compassion to your old self rather than get upset. Yes it was 10 long years of struggling but you are who you are today because of it. I doubt old Maddie (even Maddie from a year ago) would've thought she would be where you are right now. ❤🤗
Thank you for the comment Hailey, I appreciate it. It is interesting to look back and see how I have treated myself in the past. I know that my struggles have made me who I am today, but sometimes it’s still difficult. Happy New Year :)
So interesting/funny about the weight thing …. For some reason, I was obsessed with wanting to weigh 87 lbs….so all my journals and calendars from high school have “87” written all over them! And my lockers in school had “87” taped up in different colours all over my locker!!! It’s sad …. But kind of funny to think back to that and to see it. And, when you said “fat fuck”….. that too, I had written everywhere about myself! God, this illness is ridiculous, eh?? Sending love to you, Maddie💕
It's so true, we seem to come up with these ambiguous numbers that are not meant for our bodies... This illness really is ridiculous but we can overcome it! Sending love back to you!
Happy new year maddie hope you're ok x keep celebrating those small wins in life, that's how I'm starting my recovery journey for good xx PS your videos lift me up when i need comfort and fig too, thank you!!
I really enjoyed this video. It had so many things that I could relate to despite my journey being different in many ways. The reflections and growth of self and how we measure and judge that are so important I think for change. You know you probably have a book there…. and that idea that ‘one day the story of what I went through and overcame will be someone else’s survival guide’ definitely applies here. Keep making videos you are wonderful to listen to. Happy new year I hope 2022 brings you health and happiness xxx
Jen, I'm glad you liked the video. I think it's nice to have journals to look back on but it can also be sad... I would love to continue to make videos :) It's nice to be able to connect with similar people from around the world. Wishing you a happy 2022 as well! ❤️
I relate to your feelings of your family “moving on” as you said. I was basically kicked out of my mother’s home at 14, and moved away from my dads at 16 into a hostel. I experience the feeling that I never mattered and everyone just seems to have moved on like I never existed. My severe OCD was to blame for almost all our arguments, so I understand that I was difficult, but I feel as parents they should’ve been more understanding and patient. I feel the same might be true for you. Anyway I just wanted to say that we see your progress and how hard you’re working. Thank you for existing .
I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that, it's hard when families don't always treat you in the best way. I appreciate your comment and support, please take care ❤️
This is a nice video with an good end. We always want to change things on the outside, but we must change how we think and feel on the inside. (About ourself and the World) It all Starts in our heads.
Youve come a long way and your doing really well. You should be proud how far youve come as it sounds like its not always been easy. U have opportunity to make things better in life now for yourself :)
I just stumbled across your video rn and i have never seen your channel or your videos. I just want to say big respect for posting something so private but it meant a lot to me and reminded me why i got better and why i got over my disordered eating. So thank you for posting this and i hope it helps others like it helped . It made me feel less alone with the issues i went through in my teen years. The feeling of loneliness and feeling like i'm not enough and left out. I hope you are doing fine and you are living your happiest and best life. Much love and big hugs❤️
Awww thank you ❤️ Your comment means a lot. Sending you love!
I’m currently going through disordered eating since last year in early May ‘21… I don’t even want to say I have an Ed because I don’t feel as though plus I haven’t been diagnosed.. I’m 18, I don’t want to be like this forever .. it’s literally hell but this video helps me cope and I hope to recover someday without feeling all the guilt and shame I’ve been experiencing the past months. Thank you, you seem so sweet. I’ve actually upped my calories to 800-1000 max this because I’ve lost my period this month fr😞 these past months very badly irregular. Also binge restrict cycle since October. Very bad in Nov-Dec. I’m trying. Sorry to throw this all at you. 💛💛💛 just found you and you seem so comforting.
Melanie, I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time. What's important is to remember to be kind to yourself and remember that you CAN recovery. Eating disorders can come up in many different ways but I would urge you to seek out professional help. It's really hard to recover on your own. I know how hard and scary it is, but recovery is so worth it. I'm proud of you for increasing your calories, it's hard but really good for you. Keep going, you've got this. 💪❤️
The empathy in your face when you started reading sad entries from your past was really important, I think.
It’s good to be able to read back and look at your younger self with love and empathy, somehow it makes it easier to look at your current self with love too.
I am smoking weed & sending you a high five for a year well met indeed 👍
Happy January! (It’s my birthday on the 9th wheeeeeee! I’m having 🥐 for breakfast 🙌😊)
It is good to be able to read back on old memories but can be sad sometimes... But your'e right, it helps to look forward to the future. Happy early birthday to you and enjoy the weed and croissants!
At 2:00 when you said "I would even be anorexic" really hit me hard, because I used to say the same thing when I was around 10-13
I remember crying alone in the bathroom saying "I would rather die anorexic than die fat"
It's really sad that all of this ideas about weight and weight-loss get drilled into all of us from a very early age
It’s an unfortunate thought that I think a lot of people may have had, and it’s too bad that we have thought this way. We should be taught to love our bodies as opposed to hate them - something we all need to work on. Happy new Year.
HNY to you too. Reflecting is so vital but I get stuck in a circular vortex so I try hard to be present but also have a nod to the past. We can’t change the rubbish that has gone on in the past but we can change our attitude towards it.
Massive thank yous and love to Fig xxxx
Happy New Year to you too Kate :) It is always good to reflect but just as good to try and stay in the present moment. You are so right how we can't change the past but we can set ourselves up for a good future. Love back to you from Fig and I ❤️
Dearest Maddie, ty sm for reading us ur stories, it was sad but i got to knoe u more🥰 i think u r the strongest girl in the world, u come so far! Its Ok not to do the right things all the f***** time, its ok to fall sometimes 💖
We all got stuff to work on, o hope u got someone to talk to.
I think ur powerfull, pretty, have an amezing hair, smile, i love the way u write, talk, and i think most of all that u r intresting!! ❤🥰🐰🥰 Ty for shearing such deep feeilings💜. I really want to hug u. Really do...😻 loves and kisses my friend, im here for u allways🙏❤🙏
Awww thank you for the comment ❤️ Thank you for the kind words, I really appreciate it. And you are so right, it's okay not to do the right thing all the f***** time. I really do appreciate the compliments! Hugs and kisses back ti you, take care!
Happy New Year❣️ Talking about your past might be another great step to letting go of it 🥰
What about starting a series in which you try eating like your fav movie characters, celebs etc. - not necessarily for the sake of getting over that ed shit, but also just for fun as you want this to be a channel that doesn't relate to recovery stuff only ☺️
Happy New Year to you as well! I would love to try a series like that! Maybe when I get home. It would be nice to so more than recovery stuff and I know people are interested in that sort of thing. Any suggestions of who you would like me to follow?
For example "How does the slice of bread with strawberry jam and honey from Tom and the slice of bread with strawberry jam and honey taste?" or the cinnamon rolls from Angela Anaconda orrr the chocolate cake from the movie Matilda 🥰 just an idea 😊
These kinds of videos are so important for recovery. Reflecting on past struggles are so helpful in order to move on. These are not boring at all! You are such an inspiration for me to continue to recover. Last weekend I went out to eat. It was terrifying, but remembering how you do scary things is so helpful. As always, best wishes to you and Fig!
Reflecting on our past is SO important, as you said. Maybe I will do more videos like this when I get home. I am so proud of you for pushing yourself and fighting the ED. I am glad you have found my videos helpful :) Love back to you from Fig and I ❤️
Aww Maddie to hear what you went through in your adolescence saddened me. You really were in a bad place emotionally growing up but wow look at you now and what you have achieved!!! You should be so proud of yourself! Not having had an ED, I'm not sure how I came across your channel but I am so glad I did. I guess you are now in Costa Rica and having a great time. Happy New Year Maddie, hope 2022 brings you good health and all the happiness you deserve. ❤️❤️ xx
Thank you Dianne ❤️ I am glad you came across my channel as well as I really love your comments. I am in Costa Rica right now but very busy... not sure if I will have time to make my videos as in-depth but will be sure to try. Happy New Year to you as well and best wished for 2022!
Maddie Jane Thank you! Whatever you have time to publish will be most appreciated as I understand you are working in Costa Rica. I rewatched some of your Costa Rica videos yesterday as I found them so entertaining. Keep on striving for your best life 😍
"I wish in 10 years from now I'm better." Wow. Way to speak into the future. Poor old Maddie. She was going through so much.
I love how much you've grown and how you were able to show compassion to your old self rather than get upset. Yes it was 10 long years of struggling but you are who you are today because of it. I doubt old Maddie (even Maddie from a year ago) would've thought she would be where you are right now. ❤🤗
Thank you for the comment Hailey, I appreciate it. It is interesting to look back and see how I have treated myself in the past. I know that my struggles have made me who I am today, but sometimes it’s still difficult. Happy New Year :)
So interesting/funny about the weight thing …. For some reason, I was obsessed with wanting to weigh 87 lbs….so all my journals and calendars from high school have “87” written all over them! And my lockers in school had “87” taped up in different colours all over my locker!!! It’s sad …. But kind of funny to think back to that and to see it. And, when you said “fat fuck”….. that too, I had written everywhere about myself! God, this illness is ridiculous, eh?? Sending love to you, Maddie💕
It's so true, we seem to come up with these ambiguous numbers that are not meant for our bodies... This illness really is ridiculous but we can overcome it! Sending love back to you!
Maddie you are KILLING IT! I'm so proud of u 😊
Thank you ☺️❤️
@@maddiejaneec np
Happy new year maddie hope you're ok x keep celebrating those small wins in life, that's how I'm starting my recovery journey for good xx
PS your videos lift me up when i need comfort and fig too, thank you!!
Happy new year to you as well Heather :) I’m so glad you like the videos, thank you!
@@maddiejaneec I'm allergic to rabbits which is so sad as fig is literally my spirit animal
I really enjoyed this video. It had so many things that I could relate to despite my journey being different in many ways. The reflections and growth of self and how we measure and judge that are so important I think for change. You know you probably have a book there…. and that idea that ‘one day the story of what I went through and overcame will be someone else’s survival guide’ definitely applies here. Keep making videos you are wonderful to listen to. Happy new year I hope 2022 brings you health and happiness xxx
Jen, I'm glad you liked the video. I think it's nice to have journals to look back on but it can also be sad... I would love to continue to make videos :) It's nice to be able to connect with similar people from around the world. Wishing you a happy 2022 as well! ❤️
I relate to your feelings of your family “moving on” as you said. I was basically kicked out of my mother’s home at 14, and moved away from my dads at 16 into a hostel.
I experience the feeling that I never mattered and everyone just seems to have moved on like I never existed. My severe OCD was to blame for almost all our arguments, so I understand that I was difficult, but I feel as parents they should’ve been more understanding and patient. I feel the same might be true for you. Anyway I just wanted to say that we see your progress and how hard you’re working.
Thank you for existing .
I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that, it's hard when families don't always treat you in the best way. I appreciate your comment and support, please take care ❤️
Happy New Years . You have come a long way and should be very proud of yourself 👍
Thanks Burnell! Happy New Year ☺️
It would be interesting to know where "105" came from. Why that number in particular?
Honestly, I have no idea... like 100 would have made more sense... but not healthy. I wish I knew 🤷♀️
This is a nice video with an good end. We always want to change things on the outside, but we must change how we think and feel on the inside. (About ourself and the World) It all Starts in our heads.
Thank you, I’m glad you liked the video :) You are right that we need to change how we think to change ourselves, I need to keep that in mind!
Youve come a long way and your doing really well. You should be proud how far youve come as it sounds like its not always been easy. U have opportunity to make things better in life now for yourself :)
Thank you so much, your comment means a lot ❤️
If you are reading this just know that you are so valuable and Jesus loves you so much 🥰
Thank you so much ❤️