Hi Stephanie I’m a male I’ve been following you for a long time and you have helped me a lot and I am with a female narcissist I’m glad you made this video on female narcissists Thank you ❤ please do more ❤
Another great lecture, I know I myself was toxic until 40 Once I learned about narcies and the Karpman drama triangle n all that, I figured out why none of my relationships worked why my parents are the way they are (BOOMERS!) But I set myself up for it until I understood gaslighting and all that. Being genuine comes with a cost. Alone
A very fascinating video, this brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 6 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
Parting ways with someone you deeply cherish is an agonizing experience. I understand firsthand, having encountered a parallel situation at the end of my 7 year relationship. Driven by an unyielding determination, I explored every avenue to salvage our bond. Seeking guidance from a spiritual counselor proved pivotal, as their intervention played a crucial role in rekindling our love.
I know its tough even tho i had to leave the last time and refuse several hoovers...if she cheated or monmkey branched she for the streets...im still hurt too 9 months out i know it sux keep going dont reach out gets better.
Love the video! One trait that I have already detected in female narcissists is that they are very passive-agressive always making passive-agressive comments. Also they are very self-centered, they want to chat about everything related to THEM but they are not interested at all to talk about your issues. Also lying is constant.
Hi Stephanie! I'm happy to know you're loving your life! Thank you for addressing female narcissists, as there are PLENTY of them roaming around, making life miserable for their families, their husbands and for people working for them!
Bout time Steph ha ty 9 months out from female narc Single....the ruminating still tough...and still painful...been watching u 3 yrs since here betrayal ...left ten months ...hoovered back few x...9 .5 months no physical contact. She almost fool me back in sept for a visit....almost caved but quickly came to senses.
Narcissism doesn’t discriminate-man, woman, or however one defines themselves. It can be a very, very tricky thing to manage in relationships, but awareness is step one, and that alone solves 50% of the problem. ♥
It took me 14 years to catch my narcissistic wife. Of course, I didn’t know she was a narcissist back then. I didn’t even know what narcissism was. A part of me always knew that she wasn’t faithful to me. It was just that whenever I voiced my concerns or asked for some reassurance, there was hell to pay. She put me through a mental gauntlet of feigned outrage, moral indignation, gaslighting, and flipping reality on its head in order to make me the bad guy. She repeatedly set what little progress I had made in trying to have a good relationship with her, back to square one. She exploited my deepest desires-to have a good marriage and to keep our family together, by always keeping one foot out the door and threatening to leave. So, I learned to carefully pick my battles…. and worse. I learned to put the blinders on and to pretend that she wasn’t up to no good. I also learned to convince myself that I was the problem. And then one day, while she was at work, I decided to clean out the car. She had a nasty habit of treating the backseat like a dumpster. As I stuffed empty wrappers, bottles, and cups into a trash bag, I found an envelope with her name on it. Thinking it might be important, I decided to look at its contents before I threw it away. It was a letter from some guy who was clearly in love with her. He expressed how he wanted more from her than their secret rendezvous. There was no mistaking what he meant. Even though my heart was crushed, I regained my power in the very next moment. I drove to where she worked, and I angrily approached her. Her eyes fell on the letter in my hand, and her shoulders slumped in silent defeat. She quietly said, “I can’t talk right now, but I’ll be home in an hour.” “Good!” I replied. “I’ll be waiting!” Then I turned on my heel and stormed out the door. Now that the cat was out of the bag, she admitted the entire affair-including all the places where they would meet up. As difficult as that was to hear, I stood by, ready to forgive her. I was well-practiced in starting over from square one, and I eagerly waited for the opportunity to roll up my sleeves and to get to work. But she played the wounded victim as convincingly as Amber Heard, and she asked me to wait for two days while she decided what she should do. Of course, I said yes. Even though I had been married to her for 14 years, I still had no idea what I was dealing with. In the midst of that painful discussion, she was plotting her next move. It turned out that she needed two days to think because that’s when her boyfriend would return from his business trip. She wanted to be in a relationship with him, but when he refused to leave his wife for her, she decided to stay married to me. Of course, I didn’t know any of this at the time. I only knew that after two days, she decided to stay. Being the eternal optimist that I am, I saw this as an opportunity for a brand new start, and I convinced myself that we were finally going to have a good marriage. But she didn’t share my optimism, and it was obvious that her heart wasn’t in her decision to stay. We suffered together for another 2 weeks when she blamed me for her affair. That’s when I finally threw in the towel. We divorced on friendly terms, and we made all our own arrangements for custody and child support. We only needed a lawyer to draft and file the appropriate documents. The laws have changed since those days, and you can’t do that kind of stuff anymore. Anyway, during our many conversations to dissolve our marriage, she admitted lots of things that I didn’t know about-including the fact that she was never faithful to me. If I had understood narcissism back then, I would have handled things differently. I wouldn’t have put up with her mental abuse, and I would have left her years earlier. Additionally, If you need to uncover the truth about a cheating narcissist, send your request to MetaspyHub@gmail. com for discreet and effective assistance.
I'm struggling with my step son who is about to be 13. He is special education, but goes back to his bio moms house and lies and has a victim mentality. His mom tells him how hard he has it at our house. It's all lies!! This has been going on for years.
Hi Stephanie, I'm a long time follower. Love love love this topic and conversation. At my worst, it was your words that resonated with me. They encouraged and empowered me to accept, heal, and live my own life for me again. It's work I do on myself for me. Our time on earth is limited, and I choose with whom I share my time with. I deserve respect, equality, dignity, civility and compassion just as I give it. From the bottom of my heart A GIANT THANK YOU. Indeed it's offensive to me, when I hear the majority describe the abuser as a man. Everything a man can do as an ABUSER, a woman CAN also do the same OR worse. The punishment for said abuse is equally balanced for any gender. My story is based on my own experience, and it contained perpetrators that were equally straight men, gay men and straight women abuser. My point is simple -- An ABUSER is an abuser. Let's NOT crucify A SPECIFIC GENDER based on OUR personal bias, hurt and trauma. it's 2025, lets get with the program about discrimination. Trauma is Trauma. Lets heal and live the life we are ment to. Love, Compassion and Peace.
Hi Stephanie. Thanks a bunch for creating and posting this video. I'm a guy who has been following you for at least a year now. I experienced a big awakening (flashback/meltdown) a little over 2 years ago after an short but very intense and unhealthy relationship with a woman fell apart after just a few months. I believe she has traits of BPD/NPD and discarded me after I helped her leave her abusive husband (I was very good at ignoring my intuition that was telling me not to get mixed up in her drama). As you might guess, she has a ton of unresolved trauma which she eventually blamed me for when I didn't rescue her - I'm pretty sure she wanted me to ask her to move in but she had to go back to her parents since she was financially dependent on her husband (her second marriage to an abusive man). Plus, she's a sex addict and needs it to feel like she matters. It got to the point where she was blaming me for things that I was not responsible for, such as how she was treated by her parents and her partners, and for her anxiety attacks that she started experiencing. It's not the first time I got caught up in an unhealthy relationship - I have this rescuer part of me that comes online, especially when shown attention and affection which are two things I didn't get consistently when I was a kid. Anyway, I've been working with a great therapist who I started seeing after that flashback and I was told I have CPTSD. I've uncovered how the experiences I had in childhood (or didn't have) really affected me as an adult when it comes to relationships, confidence, boundaries, and so on. My mother has traits of NPD and my passive father left when I was 13 years old but he would never stand up to her, even for his kids. I became his replacement for her. I use the word "complicated" when I describe my relationship with her. I've also learned I have a disorganized or fearful-aviodant attachment style due my mother - my father was non-existent for the most part, even while my parents were still married. I have a lot of healing to continue to do. Admittedly, I have a lot of doubt that I will ever experience a healthy relationship but I will continue to work on myself. Thanks so much again for this and acknowledging that men also have been victims of NPD/BPD people.
Thank-you for mentioning the *key* to narcissism: lack of *"empathy."* There are other informal self-help channels that loose contact with the core trait of [lack of] empathy. 26:36 BTW, I think society is so sensitive to labels is because we are post-modern where we have rejected all value-systems of the past; basically everyone believes they have a right to be themselves with no judgement of morality. IMO, this is a very sad state of affairs.
i remember this one time i felt like no matter what i did, people just didn’t notice me. i tried everything-confidence boosters, social tips, you name it-but nothing seemed to work. then i found this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it completely shifted how i saw myself. it’s not just about being noticed; it’s about understanding the energy you project. honestly, this book made all the difference for me. if you’ve ever felt invisible, you need to read it.
Stephanie, thank you for this. Massively helpful in clarifying issues I'm facing following lots and lots of confusion because I could only the see the pattern of physical damage that only my covert narcissist girlfriend could have caused, i.e. damaged house and also multiple cars, and couldn't accept it was her inflicting it. I was blinded to her underlying envy and her inability to love herself. But anyway better late than never, now I am able to start managing it, on the basis these people don't change.
These videos are great tools for real victims; I sympathize, my mother went through plenty of abuse. I like to get the female perspective as check for myself, but I recently zero-contact the first woman ever to work me over psychologically and I’m glad to have something like this episode geared the other way. I really appreciate you.
I’m grateful for this video, as a WLW (woman who loves women) who was in a relationship with a highly narcissistic woman. Though the relationship ended a few years ago and it was very unstable, I still struggle with how emotionally exhausting it was a what an intense rollercoaster of a relationship it was. I know I was triangulated (with her ex) throughout the relationship and she tried invalidating my experiences with that and I second-guessed what was happening whenever unpleasant situations occurred involving her ex. She constantly compared me to her ex, in the beginning, it was good comparisons that coincided with the love bombing, but a few months into the relationship it became negative comparisons that often led me to feel insecure. The triangulation also included her involving her ex in our relationship in odd ways. Her ex was not over her by the way, and often felt jealous of our relationship (for example we’d do activities that she wished they’d done when they were together), which my ex made light of even when it appeared in disrespectful ways, such as her ex expressing that she wanted them to get back together. She dismissed how odd that was by saying that she wasn’t going to take her ex back because she isn’t attracted to her ex anymore so I didn’t need to feel threatened by her ex still having feelings for her. I don’t think it’s acceptable to be friends with an ex when people have moved on, but there are still feelings from any of the people involved, it’s an unhealthy imbalance and creates problems for the new partner. When I would express my discomfort with this stuff I was often met with silent treatment, lack of remorse (at times she betrayed my trust with things she divulged to her ex and she wasn’t sorry about it), defensiveness and lack of accountability. It honestly felt like a love triangle that I didn’t agree to. Her ex took up a lot of room in our relationship and it just felt so icky. I often felt lots of disrespect and contempt from her. Her needs also took up a lot of space in the relationship in ways that I felt the need to abandon my own needs and feelings. Though I tried to be there for her in times when she was really mentally suffering (she had mental health needs) if I didn’t respond to her in ways that did not meet her approval I often felt attacked. She seldom acknowledged the times I was really there for her (emotionally) in ways that met her expectations, there were times when she expressed that our interactions “felt like a therapy session” and she felt comforted, but if I fell short of that standard her reactions would leave me feeling as though I wasn’t good enough. She seldom seemed content and there wasn’t much peace, conflict was always around the corner. She seemed to like to pick apart my character flaws and made snide remarks quite a lot and when I’d express my upset with that she would make quick apologies that weren’t very genuine and she would later go on to repeat the offences, so there wasn’t changed behaviour on her part. I often found her emotionally immature, but at the beginning of the relationship, she seemed emotionally mature and like a healthy person to be with. I can admit that I ignored some red flags that slowly unravelled in the beginning, but I quickly attached myself to the representative of herself that I initially met. It was hard to let go of that perception, I thought she was so right for me but slowly I started to see the real her and I wanted for that to just be her going through a bad time. I wanted my baby back but she was never my baby and it took a long time to realise that. I’ve worked through a lot of what happened to me and I began to feel lots of disgust towards the behaviour I endured, such as the defensiveness, lack of accountability and triangulation. It is all so unattractive but while I was in it I just wanted to get back to the good times, the good times were a facade. I was given tangible things (toxic and unreasonable behaviour) that should have called for the end of the relationship. I held on for too long and now I’m picking up the pieces of that before I get into another relationship. I want to be healthy enough to step into another relationship, I don’t want the next woman I date to have to experience the wounds I still have from what I endured.
I work with a 75 year old female covert narcissist who is mentally still a jealous 16 year old teenager who needs to put others down to feel better about herself. But I also know the reason for her dysfunction. Her abusive father told her she ruined his life by being born and was a mistake. She has been trying to prove her self worth to men for 75 years and sees other women as a threat. This was CAUSED by a toxic abusive man.
there was a time when i kept wondering why some people seemed to naturally draw others in while i was just…there. no matter what i tried, i couldn’t figure out how they did it. then someone mentioned the book Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and i decided to check it out. the way it explains how your aura affects everything around you? it blew me away. it’s like having a secret code to unlock your magnetic energy. this book is a game-changer.
Thank you for sharing this. I agree when Information is given, it is critical thinking to take the details and apply to your situation. I will say at times I did feel a certain type of way watching your videos because they did not mention the mans perspective. But I learned you are giving me your perspective. I need to apply it to what I am living. If I want a man’s perspective I can simply go and search for it . I wanted to better understand my ex- wife’s though process, which is why how you explain things resonates with me. So I want to say thank you for dedicating your time and efforts to teach. You have no idea how much your videos helped me when I was in the thick of my divorce. 🙏🏾
Grief is a loss. Accept that she wasn't good for you. Chilren feel incredible loyalty towards their mother, it's biological attachment. If that woman cheated on you, then she definitely manipulated you and the children. Accept the truth. It gets easier when we radically accept the facts. Happy healing. Cheers!
For me there was sort of a research and information gathering part of my recovery. I had never even heard of a trauma bond before. And I saw several therapists throughout the relationship. It never once came up
Rhis explained why mh family member does things then when i explain that it hurt my feelings, i got made the problem. Sooo, i need to focus on MY healing!!!
Very true. They also play the victim after being the one to disrespect, devalue, demean, blame shift and then discard. They may appear as an adult, but a Narcissistic person is deeply insecure, and wounded. Don't try to be their savior, SAVE yourself. Happy healing. Cheers!
i used to think being magnetic was just about looks or confidence, but i couldn’t have been more wrong. i read this book called Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it totally changed my perspective. it breaks down the energy and mindset behind true attraction in a way that just makes sense. once i started applying what it taught, i noticed people reacting to me differently almost instantly. it’s seriously worth a read.
You don't. It was the absolute worst experience of my life. Run for the hills, especially if she tells you she's a bad person or damaged up front. You cannot fix her while she'll actively try to destroy your life. (My condolences if you knock her up.)
@StephanieLynCoaching thank you for all the time and effort you put in. As a nurse and someone in the healthcare field, man this is a gold mine of Information on all things mental health
You're in the country Dear!!! Oh let me explain. Wife that will bend over backwards for the parents that created chaos in her childhood, but not give her husband even empathy to PTSD he struggles with, or schedule her kids dentist appt, or interact with her children to build positive societal members? Just leave them on their own to figure life out?
What type of narcissist goes to a “doctor” to get a diagnosis of narcissism?!?! None!!! Anybody obsessed with being licensed to form a diagnosis is probably a narcissist. Not probably. Definitely.
Thanks im sick tired sabotage liers holidays shame sexo fault respect facebook what sup message sexo start 2018 thanks need sleep the psicologo still around after f family dont trust me police call paranoia 101 im alone no friends thanks need sleep
after 2021 donation ask never see the money after 2022 call emergency because accidente scam 5 pones apple new computer tired tech now use the phone Portugal out sim card because call from Belgica in Portugal this erson block police my Dr n Portugal in Australia
Hi Stephanie I’m a male I’ve been following you for a long time and you have helped me a lot and I am with a female narcissist I’m glad you made this video on female narcissists
Thank you ❤ please do more ❤
Another great lecture, I know I myself was toxic until 40 Once I learned about narcies and the Karpman drama triangle n all that, I figured out why none of my relationships worked why my parents are the way they are (BOOMERS!) But I set myself up for it until I understood gaslighting and all that. Being genuine comes with a cost.
Alone
A very fascinating video, this brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 6 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
Parting ways with someone you deeply cherish is an agonizing experience. I understand firsthand, having encountered a parallel situation at the end of my 7 year relationship. Driven by an unyielding determination, I explored every avenue to salvage our bond. Seeking guidance from a spiritual counselor proved pivotal, as their intervention played a crucial role in rekindling our love.
That's fascinating! How did you come across a spiritual counselor, and what's the best way for me to contact her?
The spiritual counselor is Suzanne Ann Walters, she unite partners and families together.
I'm grateful for this valuable information; I've just taken a moment to find her online.
I know its tough even tho i had to leave the last time and refuse several hoovers...if she cheated or monmkey branched she for the streets...im still hurt too 9 months out i know it sux keep going dont reach out gets better.
Love the video! One trait that I have already detected in female narcissists is that they are very passive-agressive always making passive-agressive comments. Also they are very self-centered, they want to chat about everything related to THEM but they are not interested at all to talk about your issues. Also lying is constant.
Constant
Sounds like you know my ex wife lol
@aasti3000 lol... Actually I know females from my extended family members that are like this.
Hi Stephanie! I'm happy to know you're loving your life! Thank you for addressing female narcissists, as there are PLENTY of them roaming around, making life miserable for their families, their husbands and for people working for them!
And their friends
Bout time Steph ha ty 9 months out from female narc Single....the ruminating still tough...and still painful...been watching u 3 yrs since here betrayal ...left ten months ...hoovered back few x...9 .5 months no physical contact. She almost fool me back in sept for a visit....almost caved but quickly came to senses.
Narcissism doesn’t discriminate-man, woman, or however one defines themselves. It can be a very, very tricky thing to manage in relationships, but awareness is step one, and that alone solves 50% of the problem. ♥
It took me 14 years to catch my narcissistic wife. Of course, I didn’t know she was a narcissist back then. I didn’t even know what narcissism was. A part of me always knew that she wasn’t faithful to me. It was just that whenever I voiced my concerns or asked for some reassurance, there was hell to pay. She put me through a mental gauntlet of feigned outrage, moral indignation, gaslighting, and flipping reality on its head in order to make me the bad guy. She repeatedly set what little progress I had made in trying to have a good relationship with her, back to square one. She exploited my deepest desires-to have a good marriage and to keep our family together, by always keeping one foot out the door and threatening to leave. So, I learned to carefully pick my battles…. and worse. I learned to put the blinders on and to pretend that she wasn’t up to no good. I also learned to convince myself that I was the problem. And then one day, while she was at work, I decided to clean out the car. She had a nasty habit of treating the backseat like a dumpster. As I stuffed empty wrappers, bottles, and cups into a trash bag, I found an envelope with her name on it.
Thinking it might be important, I decided to look at its contents before I threw it away. It was a letter from some guy who was clearly in love with her. He expressed how he wanted more from her than their secret rendezvous. There was no mistaking what he meant. Even though my heart was crushed, I regained my power in the very next moment. I drove to where she worked, and I angrily approached her. Her eyes fell on the letter in my hand, and her shoulders slumped in silent defeat. She quietly said, “I can’t talk right now, but I’ll be home in an hour.” “Good!” I replied. “I’ll be waiting!” Then I turned on my heel and stormed out the door. Now that the cat was out of the bag, she admitted the entire affair-including all the places where they would meet up. As difficult as that was to hear, I stood by, ready to forgive her. I was well-practiced in starting over from square one, and I eagerly waited for the opportunity to roll up my sleeves and to get to work. But she played the wounded victim as convincingly as Amber Heard, and she asked me to wait for two days while she decided what she should do. Of course, I said yes.
Even though I had been married to her for 14 years, I still had no idea what I was dealing with. In the midst of that painful discussion, she was plotting her next move. It turned out that she needed two days to think because that’s when her boyfriend would return from his business trip. She wanted to be in a relationship with him, but when he refused to leave his wife for her, she decided to stay married to me. Of course, I didn’t know any of this at the time. I only knew that after two days, she decided to stay. Being the eternal optimist that I am, I saw this as an opportunity for a brand new start, and I convinced myself that we were finally going to have a good marriage. But she didn’t share my optimism, and it was obvious that her heart wasn’t in her decision to stay. We suffered together for another 2 weeks when she blamed me for her affair. That’s when I finally threw in the towel. We divorced on friendly terms, and we made all our own arrangements for custody and child support. We only needed a lawyer to draft and file the appropriate documents. The laws have changed since those days, and you can’t do that kind of stuff anymore. Anyway, during our many conversations to dissolve our marriage, she admitted lots of things that I didn’t know about-including the fact that she was never faithful to me. If I had understood narcissism back then, I would have handled things differently. I wouldn’t have put up with her mental abuse, and I would have left her years earlier.
Additionally, If you need to uncover the truth about a cheating narcissist, send your request to MetaspyHub@gmail. com for discreet and effective assistance.
I am so sorry you went through something so painful. All I can say is I understand how you feel.
Thanks Stephanie ❤
Fantastic video! Thanks Stephanie 🔥
I'm struggling with my step son who is about to be 13. He is special education, but goes back to his bio moms house and lies and has a victim mentality. His mom tells him how hard he has it at our house. It's all lies!! This has been going on for years.
Hi Stephanie,
I'm a long time follower. Love love love this topic and conversation. At my worst, it was your words that resonated with me. They encouraged and empowered me to accept, heal, and live my own life for me again. It's work I do on myself for me. Our time on earth is limited, and I choose with whom I share my time with. I deserve respect, equality, dignity, civility and compassion just as I give it.
From the bottom of my heart A GIANT THANK YOU.
Indeed it's offensive to me, when I hear the majority describe the abuser as a man.
Everything a man can do as an ABUSER, a woman CAN also do the same OR worse.
The punishment for said abuse is equally balanced for any gender.
My story is based on my own experience, and it contained perpetrators that were equally straight men, gay men and straight women abuser.
My point is simple -- An ABUSER is an abuser.
Let's NOT crucify A SPECIFIC GENDER based on OUR personal bias, hurt and trauma.
it's 2025, lets get with the program about discrimination.
Trauma is Trauma.
Lets heal and live the life we are ment to.
Love, Compassion and Peace.
Hi Stephanie. Thanks a bunch for creating and posting this video. I'm a guy who has been following you for at least a year now. I experienced a big awakening (flashback/meltdown) a little over 2 years ago after an short but very intense and unhealthy relationship with a woman fell apart after just a few months. I believe she has traits of BPD/NPD and discarded me after I helped her leave her abusive husband (I was very good at ignoring my intuition that was telling me not to get mixed up in her drama). As you might guess, she has a ton of unresolved trauma which she eventually blamed me for when I didn't rescue her - I'm pretty sure she wanted me to ask her to move in but she had to go back to her parents since she was financially dependent on her husband (her second marriage to an abusive man). Plus, she's a sex addict and needs it to feel like she matters. It got to the point where she was blaming me for things that I was not responsible for, such as how she was treated by her parents and her partners, and for her anxiety attacks that she started experiencing. It's not the first time I got caught up in an unhealthy relationship - I have this rescuer part of me that comes online, especially when shown attention and affection which are two things I didn't get consistently when I was a kid.
Anyway, I've been working with a great therapist who I started seeing after that flashback and I was told I have CPTSD. I've uncovered how the experiences I had in childhood (or didn't have) really affected me as an adult when it comes to relationships, confidence, boundaries, and so on. My mother has traits of NPD and my passive father left when I was 13 years old but he would never stand up to her, even for his kids. I became his replacement for her. I use the word "complicated" when I describe my relationship with her. I've also learned I have a disorganized or fearful-aviodant attachment style due my mother - my father was non-existent for the most part, even while my parents were still married. I have a lot of healing to continue to do. Admittedly, I have a lot of doubt that I will ever experience a healthy relationship but I will continue to work on myself.
Thanks so much again for this and acknowledging that men also have been victims of NPD/BPD people.
Thank-you for mentioning the *key* to narcissism: lack of *"empathy."* There are other informal self-help channels that loose contact with the core trait of [lack of] empathy.
26:36 BTW, I think society is so sensitive to labels is because we are post-modern where we have rejected all value-systems of the past; basically everyone believes they have a right to be themselves with no judgement of morality. IMO, this is a very sad state of affairs.
i remember this one time i felt like no matter what i did, people just didn’t notice me. i tried everything-confidence boosters, social tips, you name it-but nothing seemed to work. then i found this book, Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it completely shifted how i saw myself. it’s not just about being noticed; it’s about understanding the energy you project. honestly, this book made all the difference for me. if you’ve ever felt invisible, you need to read it.
Stephanie, thank you for this. Massively helpful in clarifying issues I'm facing following lots and lots of confusion because I could only the see the pattern of physical damage that only my covert narcissist girlfriend could have caused, i.e. damaged house and also multiple cars, and couldn't accept it was her inflicting it. I was blinded to her underlying envy and her inability to love herself. But anyway better late than never, now I am able to start managing it, on the basis these people don't change.
That's when I started watching you 2017, thank you for your help and guidance throughout the years
Yay , thank you Stephanie
I'm glad you called a thing a thing and resulted in saying TOXIC, despite the easily offended/triggered.
These videos are great tools for real victims; I sympathize, my mother went through plenty of abuse. I like to get the female perspective as check for myself, but I recently zero-contact the first woman ever to work me over psychologically and I’m glad to have something like this episode geared the other way. I really appreciate you.
Thanks, Stephanie!
I’m grateful for this video, as a WLW (woman who loves women) who was in a relationship with a highly narcissistic woman. Though the relationship ended a few years ago and it was very unstable, I still struggle with how emotionally exhausting it was a what an intense rollercoaster of a relationship it was.
I know I was triangulated (with her ex) throughout the relationship and she tried invalidating my experiences with that and I second-guessed what was happening whenever unpleasant situations occurred involving her ex. She constantly compared me to her ex, in the beginning, it was good comparisons that coincided with the love bombing, but a few months into the relationship it became negative comparisons that often led me to feel insecure. The triangulation also included her involving her ex in our relationship in odd ways. Her ex was not over her by the way, and often felt jealous of our relationship (for example we’d do activities that she wished they’d done when they were together), which my ex made light of even when it appeared in disrespectful ways, such as her ex expressing that she wanted them to get back together. She dismissed how odd that was by saying that she wasn’t going to take her ex back because she isn’t attracted to her ex anymore so I didn’t need to feel threatened by her ex still having feelings for her. I don’t think it’s acceptable to be friends with an ex when people have moved on, but there are still feelings from any of the people involved, it’s an unhealthy imbalance and creates problems for the new partner. When I would express my discomfort with this stuff I was often met with silent treatment, lack of remorse (at times she betrayed my trust with things she divulged to her ex and she wasn’t sorry about it), defensiveness and lack of accountability. It honestly felt like a love triangle that I didn’t agree to. Her ex took up a lot of room in our relationship and it just felt so icky.
I often felt lots of disrespect and contempt from her. Her needs also took up a lot of space in the relationship in ways that I felt the need to abandon my own needs and feelings. Though I tried to be there for her in times when she was really mentally suffering (she had mental health needs) if I didn’t respond to her in ways that did not meet her approval I often felt attacked. She seldom acknowledged the times I was really there for her (emotionally) in ways that met her expectations, there were times when she expressed that our interactions “felt like a therapy session” and she felt comforted, but if I fell short of that standard her reactions would leave me feeling as though I wasn’t good enough.
She seldom seemed content and there wasn’t much peace, conflict was always around the corner. She seemed to like to pick apart my character flaws and made snide remarks quite a lot and when I’d express my upset with that she would make quick apologies that weren’t very genuine and she would later go on to repeat the offences, so there wasn’t changed behaviour on her part. I often found her emotionally immature, but at the beginning of the relationship, she seemed emotionally mature and like a healthy person to be with. I can admit that I ignored some red flags that slowly unravelled in the beginning, but I quickly attached myself to the representative of herself that I initially met. It was hard to let go of that perception, I thought she was so right for me but slowly I started to see the real her and I wanted for that to just be her going through a bad time. I wanted my baby back but she was never my baby and it took a long time to realise that. I’ve worked through a lot of what happened to me and I began to feel lots of disgust towards the behaviour I endured, such as the defensiveness, lack of accountability and triangulation. It is all so unattractive but while I was in it I just wanted to get back to the good times, the good times were a facade. I was given tangible things (toxic and unreasonable behaviour) that should have called for the end of the relationship. I held on for too long and now I’m picking up the pieces of that before I get into another relationship. I want to be healthy enough to step into another relationship, I don’t want the next woman I date to have to experience the wounds I still have from what I endured.
I work with a 75 year old female covert narcissist who is mentally still a jealous 16 year old teenager who needs to put others down to feel better about herself. But I also know the reason for her dysfunction. Her abusive father told her she ruined his life by being born and was a mistake. She has been trying to prove her self worth to men for 75 years and sees other women as a threat. This was CAUSED by a toxic abusive man.
Thank you for doing this!!
You're so welcome!
there was a time when i kept wondering why some people seemed to naturally draw others in while i was just…there. no matter what i tried, i couldn’t figure out how they did it. then someone mentioned the book Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and i decided to check it out. the way it explains how your aura affects everything around you? it blew me away. it’s like having a secret code to unlock your magnetic energy. this book is a game-changer.
Thank you for sharing this. I agree when Information is given, it is critical thinking to take the details and apply to your situation. I will say at times I did feel a certain type of way watching your videos because they did not mention the mans perspective. But I learned you are giving me your perspective. I need to apply it to what I am living. If I want a man’s perspective I can simply go and search for it . I wanted to better understand my ex- wife’s though process, which is why how you explain things resonates with me. So I want to say thank you for dedicating your time and efforts to teach. You have no idea how much your videos helped me
when I was in the thick of my divorce. 🙏🏾
Thank you Stephanie! 🙂
I'm still grieving for my narc wife for 30yrs who had an affair and left me together with our grownup son and daughter who is a single mom with 2kids
Grief is a loss. Accept that she wasn't good for you. Chilren feel incredible loyalty towards their mother, it's biological attachment. If that woman cheated on you, then she definitely manipulated you and the children. Accept the truth. It gets easier when we radically accept the facts. Happy healing. Cheers!
32:07 I felt really called out right there, but also really heard
You’re the best
For me there was sort of a research and information gathering part of my recovery. I had never even heard of a trauma bond before. And I saw several therapists throughout the relationship. It never once came up
Wow that's crazy that it never came up!
@ yeah I know right? Thanks for your content…it’s really great
Rhis explained why mh family member does things then when i explain that it hurt my feelings, i got made the problem. Sooo, i need to focus on MY healing!!!
Narcissists don't even ask, they demand everything to be made according to them and their needs
Very true. They also play the victim after being the one to disrespect, devalue, demean, blame shift and then discard. They may appear as an adult, but a Narcissistic person is deeply insecure, and wounded. Don't try to be their savior, SAVE yourself. Happy healing. Cheers!
i used to think being magnetic was just about looks or confidence, but i couldn’t have been more wrong. i read this book called Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and it totally changed my perspective. it breaks down the energy and mindset behind true attraction in a way that just makes sense. once i started applying what it taught, i noticed people reacting to me differently almost instantly. it’s seriously worth a read.
Steph you control this channel. Why do you allow these scams to exist? You read comments. You can delete scam comments.
@@Couscous77Why not just ignore it? She’s busy clearly
It’s promoting a book not a scam fyi. I reported it and you can too.
What year will it be when you start presenting and speaking like an adult professional instead of a sorority girl? Like, OMG, seriously?!
You don't. It was the absolute worst experience of my life. Run for the hills, especially if she tells you she's a bad person or damaged up front.
You cannot fix her while she'll actively try to destroy your life.
(My condolences if you knock her up.)
I navigate my ass in reverse and back away
Men pay attention to this video. My ex wife made me and my kids life absolute hell!!!!
♂️
Nah......I figure it's all pretty universal. No need for people to be overly sensitive about if it's "man" or "women" issue kind of thing.
Thank you 🙌
@StephanieLynCoaching thank you for all the time and effort you put in. As a nurse and someone in the healthcare field, man this is a gold mine of Information on all things mental health
You're in the country Dear!!! Oh let me explain. Wife that will bend over backwards for the parents that created chaos in her childhood, but not give her husband even empathy to PTSD he struggles with, or schedule her kids dentist appt, or interact with her children to build positive societal members? Just leave them on their own to figure life out?
💙
What type of narcissist goes to a “doctor” to get a diagnosis of narcissism?!?! None!!! Anybody obsessed with being licensed to form a diagnosis is probably a narcissist. Not probably. Definitely.
I don’t get offended. I just change the pronouns 👍
I do the same thing when it comes to men talking about women.. all relative.
Thanks im sick tired sabotage liers holidays shame sexo fault respect facebook what sup message sexo start 2018 thanks need sleep the psicologo still around after f family dont trust me police call paranoia 101 im alone no friends thanks need sleep
after 2021 donation ask never see the money after 2022 call emergency because accidente scam 5 pones apple new computer tired tech now use the phone Portugal out sim card because call from Belgica in Portugal this erson block police my Dr n Portugal in Australia