Therapist Reacts To: Hard Times by Ethel Cain *trigger warning-please use discretion-discusses CSA*
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 มิ.ย. 2024
- Trigger Warning - this video contains content that may cause a physical or mental reaction due to the discussion of child sexual assault. Please take care of yourselves and use discretion.
I have resources linked for support:
RAINN - Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network
Chat online at online.rainn.org
Call someone who can help at 800.656.4673
Hours: Available 24 hours
1-800-656-4673
Victims of crime have rights that depend on the laws of the location (state, territory, tribe) where the crime occurred. Some of the laws that might apply to you if a person has committed the crime of sexual assault against you include:
Availability of a forensic exam (rape kit) at no cost to you
Confidential access to victim advocates
Time limits (statute of limitations) on certain legal actions
Mandated reporting of the assault if you are a vulnerable person (child or elder adult)
Confidential communication with service providers
Testing or storage of evidence kits
Possible financial compensation for you as a crime victim
It is also a good idea to contact a rape crisis center in the area where you were assaulted since they should be familiar with the laws that apply in their area. RAINN maintains an excellent database of state laws that can help you to understand what rights you have.
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NOT LEGAL/MEDICAL ADVICE: This video is made solely for the purpose of commentary for entertainment and educational purposes, and no therapist -client relationship is created through comments or interaction with this channel. My reactions are my own personal reactions, which I am entitled to have. I am not communicating a diagnosis of any person in this video as no one in this video is my client and I am not assessing them.
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I read (Ethel Cain) and went "oh god" then (Hard times) and went "OH GOD"
IKR I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER
SAME. I was like oh no she is not going to be ok.
ME TOO, i said oh noooo she’s not ready 😩
You all are right. Not okay.
literally same … I was like “Ethel?! who did this to Mere” 😭
you NEED to react to the entire “Preachers Daughter” album
YES
☝🏻
Agreed 💯
!!!!!!!!!!! Omg i would die
OMG with meanings too! id die
Be carful with Ethel, just make sure you’re in a good place to listen. She’s absolutely amazing but damn it’s hard sometimes to get through her songs. Especially if you have male childhood religious trauma.
Yes, Ethel was requested awhile ago but I knew I couldn’t go there. Thank you for the love and heads up ❤
@@mendwithmere thank you for being a safe space on the internet 🥹🫶🏻
@@mendwithmereI had nightmares for days after listening to Preacher’s Daughter and the song Inbred for the first time. It’s so hard.
I'm so glad you didn't just say no to this song and more specifically to the theme, seeing you react and speak up about such "Taboo" subjects it's heartwarming. Thank you.
It’s very important to me. I am weary of doing Ethel Cain, but I know it will always cover important topics and we all need to have these conversations. Victims deserve that and hopefully it can prevent something ❤
People turning their pain into something so beautiful sounding is one of the most incredible things i think I've ever seen / heard. This song is so disturbing and so heartbreaking yet i cant stop listening.
Agreed. We have to alchemize the pain!
the original title to this song was called "Preachers daughter" (also name of the album), and it tells Ethel Cain's story about the abuse she faced from her Father (who was a preacher at their church) growing up. "Nine going on eighteen" is her way of saying how he stripped her from her childhood at a young age; and even many years later, when she looks back, she is left with a confusing and tainted perspective of her father
brutal. Thank you for more context
I'm so so sorry this ever happens to even one single child. Sending healing to everyone
Agreed. ❤
Ethel Cain’s music is very haunting and dark, but it is full of trauma and experiences that are very important that people unfortunately go through too often. I hate to see you be in such like, disgust and anger from stuff like this, but I do want to thank you. Topics like these being discussed by therapists and others in the mental health field of work are very important. I am sorry it upset you, Mere!
No need to say sorry, it’s important that I do this. Things can’t continue if light is shown on them and that’s how I feel about this. If talking about it can help in any way, I will
Please you need to react to an Ethel song with a more positive tone like American Teenager or Crush😭😭
And God’s country too😭😭
@@headinthewall she literally masked the topic of American teenager with that sarcastic pop beat.
Crush is cute tho, about a 16 year old dating 23 year old 🥰.
@@Muhammed_Al_Fateen I said positive tone not lyrics😭
The way you added the emoji GIRL 😭@@Muhammed_Al_Fateen
I love how I see you in the comments of every Ethel Cain reaction video 😭
I always took this song as a PTSD type thing like she can’t sleep because she keeps thinking about the trauma and she is tired of that person being tied to her emotionally (maybe because I relate it to my life ??)
i think its also the fact that her father would come into her room at night and do the things he did to her, so she wouldn't be able to sleep
Yes, you may relate to it bc of the PTSD and other people may relate bc of the CSA. If it helps you, that’s all that matters
This song hurt…having endured this with my own father….there were so many emotions….had to pull my car over….the part about being too tired…and just wanting to sleep. I think the line that got me was too tired to leave. It is a fight I had with myself almost every minute of the day…especially when I got out of and away from him. Too tired to leave…hmmmm
Thank you for sharing this and I’m so relieved to hear that you’ve gotten away from him. F him. I have many questions, but I hope that you have gotten support and that you know you are not alone. I’m so so so angry and sorry. You got away and survived and I’m so f ing proud of you for getting away bc this is a crime. Sending you ❤
I left at 19 and have not seen him since. Got lots and lots of therapy and work daily trying to find peace. I am usually pretty good but this song hit me hard. Sometimes all it takes is a line or a word to take you back to so much pain and heartbreak. I understand the reason but don’t understand the reason at the same time!
@@graciescullion9709same here. It's such a tentacled monster, touching every part of your life. I'm proud of you for surviving and healing. 💜
ugh yesss, and the repetition of the lines to really drive home the point of being too tired to move on :(( this song hits so close to home and every time it gets that outro I have to just sit and soak it in bc it’s just SO accurate to how heavy those feelings are inside of you
@@morduwenthank you. Good days and bad days. But I just try to remember left foot, right foot, breathe.
I haven’t even watched the video yet but as soon as I saw the notification I jumped. This song is beyond words and I fear I’ll never find a way to explain how much pain it evokes in me. So beautiful and so glad you reacted to it. Going to watch this asap!!!
I was committed to a psyc ward when I was 17. One of my besties there had a child by her father. She never told me until the day she got out. I even met her son. It was surreal. I cant imagine what that does to the survivors. I tried to keep in touch with her but never could find her. I think she had to go into hiding to stay away from her rich family who was keeping tye secrets.Now, at 50, I know so many people who suffered this. My therapist is convinced something happened to me too. I'm just doing all the things I can to make good memories to overpower the bad ones. This channel brings me so much peace. TY!!!
It is incredibly yet disturbingly common. Thank you for sharing this ❤
This song is very personal to me and it makes me cry every time, it’s very healing in a cathartic way. Your heart is a beautiful light in this world, thanks for your reactions. You feel things so deeply which makes you unique but I understand that can be hard to live with. Just know I appreciate your sensitivity and compassionate heart. ❤
This means so much 😢❤
hard times is one of my favorite songs ever! I was sobbing my eyes out at her concert recently and she held my hand and sang to me as I cried! her music is truly some of the best out there
Mereeeee i know you don't do whole album reactions but what wouldn't i give to get a full preacher's daughter reaction. This album is so painful and it's a masterpiece 🫂💕
I will consider it but I need a little bit more time bc it is a lot but I know it’s needed ❤
@mendwithmere oh no rush queen, love your content ♥️ music is such a big part of healing for me and I appreciate your channel so much for acknowledging and validating that
I knew instantly what this song would be about after she said 9 going on 18. I hate that this is a reality.
It makes me so angry that it is
I just recently went to an ethel cain concert and she sang this song. Hearing it being performed live was absolutely heart wrenching and it just felt so raw. Although I have never experienced something similar to the contents of this song, my heart goes out to all victims and i hope everyone knows that they are loved and that they deserve to have their voices be heard ❤️
Dang they did you dirty Mere
Thank you for sharing on this sensitive, often hidden subject.
❤
i think another amazing song from cain is Strangers, just a lil recommendation
Take care of yourself mere! Thank you for doing this reaction
❤
This song hits too hard, I just cried the whole time during this reaction. Especially the line " I am tired of you, still tied to me". I am a survivor and It's just so sad to know how many people face this. It does make me angry to even think about the person who did it to me. A child doesn't even know what is happening and it's just sick people who do this with anyone more so a child. I am 27 and it's too hard for me sometimes to sleep at night or even breathe. This song has such raw emotion and it just makes me cry, and its true people say parents protect you but what if you need to be protected from them, god its just sad and agonizing. I hope everyone stays safe. Love you Mere, love your reactions. Thank you for being so authentic. ❤
Catching up after being off here for several days, but I’m a survivor (x4) and my ❤ is with anyone who’s ever had to experience this…I can even…It’s just that there are no words as potent, evil, malevolent, etc. to explain the experience, the aftermath, and God, I wish and hope and pray for helping for us all.
On a positive note, help is available!
Also, this reminds me of the lyrics Florence sings in “Florida,” “So I did my best to lay to rest/ All of the bodies that’ve ever been on my body/ And in my mind/ They all sink into the swamp.” That line…Just soothes me and helps me with flashbacks, and managing CPTSD. I just visualize her words legit happening to me. It helps…Love to you all.
ive been requesting this song for almost a year now. its so personal and describes the raw emotions so well
Sending you ❤
OH MY GOD!!! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOREVERRRRR FOR THISSS
I needed to be protected from my dad, uncle, cousins, my mom, my sisters, janitor at school, doctor, ...it goes on and on...
It’s bullshit that you weren’t. Something has to change. Sending you ❤
As someone who grew up with an abusive father (not predatory, but verbally and emotionally abusive), this song hits so incredibly hard in every way. Especially with the background vocals "I just wanna sleep" because those are the exact words I would say to myself when the house was so loud from yelling and screaming.
Ethel is one of my favorite artists of all time, period. I hope she gets all the recognition she deserves!
I get this so much except it was my mom's boyfriend not my dad. My dad was absent at the time. He wpuld always stir shit up day and night, it was impossible to sleep. And unfortunately my mom's boyfriend was predatory too. Talking about how he would date me once I turned eighteen and how he would've crushed on me when he was in highschool. At first I thought I was being dramatic at being creeped out by his behavior till we found certain stuff on his phone.
Finally!! I’m really glad you’re reacting to Ethel Cain, she’s great
This song made me angry too. It’s beautiful and deeply disturbing.
The fact that you acknowledge topics such as this and hard topics like this means so much to me and I know so many others. Thank you Mere! I love and appreciate you!!
You are so welcome! ❤️
Hi Mere! I'd love to recommend the band Daughter to you, especially the songs "Candles" and "Landfill." Both songs deal with very complex and dark themes, and I think it would be super interesting if you could analyze them. Regardless, I think you might really enjoy their music. The lead singer, who also writes the lyrics, is an incredibly talented woman, and her songs are truly poetic.😍💖
Doing the Right Thing is the one that kills me
Mere I love how loving and caring you are to everyone you feel things deeply witch I admire you that you speak up about things that people go through that are not talked enough about, you have helped me through a lot in my life and I just need to say thank you so much for making videos you make the world a better place I love you ❤
That means so much to me. Thank you for sharing this and watching. We all deserve healing ❤
@@mendwithmere thank you so much for taking time to reply to all these comments you deserve the world mere , I really appreciate you doing these videos after everything you have gone through there’s no words to describe how strong you are to be able to take care of you son he is so lucky to have you . Sending so much love 💕
This song is so special to me. Ethel Cain is very special to me, tbh. I’ve been through CSA and the way you understood and explained it was so on point and your kind words really made me feel seen and safe, thank you so much.
Also I finished reading A Little Life (amazing beautiful work of art but very triggering) and this song immediately came to mind going through it! If I could pick a therapist for Jude’s character it would absolutely be you ❤
i was going to skip over this video but i decided to watch it. im only 12 about to be 13 but this had happened to me when i was r@ped at 6 a couple times by my uncle and was SA by him a few months ago. i thought it would never happen again and i thought he grew. i guess he didnt though. it destroyed me so much but i pray he wont do it again. ur an angel sent from heaven.. thank you.♥
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Have you told / thought about telling anyone about it that you trust? You don't deserve to ever have something like that happen.
I’m so sorry to hear this I really hope you are okay your not alone ❤
sending love 💗💗💗💗
Thank you for sharing this. I can only imagine the impact of this trauma. I hope you have talked to someone you can trust. I hope you can get support and protection. I hope you use the resources I have listed. I hope you know you never ever deserved a single second of it and he should be in prison. There are people that can hold him accountable. I understand that may be so far from what you can deal with but I have to put it out there. I’m so so so angry and heartbroken for you. You can read other comments of people with similar experiences on here to know you are not alone and there can be healing. Please, I urge you to utilize the resources. I love you ❤
More Ethel Cain please, even though the music is very dark, it's still important to discuss in my opinion
this song is so gut wrenching :(
the concept of hard times in regards to “preachers daughter” the album title, is that our narrator is the daughter of a preacher, who has conflicting feelings about whether she wants to keep looking up to him (praying id be like you) or cut him out of her life (im tired of you still tied to me). this song is so devastating and if you listen chronologically with the rest of the album it’s also masterful storytelling.
please react to head in the wall by ethel !!
bro that song is my fav from hers, everything bout it feels good
you are begging her to CRY lol
She will def cry
react to strangers by ethel cain plss. i love your content!!
I just want to remind everyone that Ethel Cain is a character rooted in a story of religious trauma and abuse. Its also the stage/artist name of Hayden Anhedönia, who did have a religious upbringing, but as far as we know these songs are not tied to personal trauma experienced by the artist.
Omgggg I have been hoping you would react to this song for the longest I love Ethel 😭🖤
The first time I heard this song it brought back very painful memories I didn’t even know I had. I’ve been listening to it so much ever since, it’s kinda like a hug for me idk
I think it would be cool if you reacted to Chappell Roan, if you haven’t already.
Yes!! And might feel uplifting after heavy stuff like this.
@@shilohgoes5544 Agreed.
omg I waited so long for this one
I WAS HOPING FOR MORE ETHEL CAIN OMG ❤
Ethel cain is EVERYTHING!
Thanks for sharing your reaction with us! Ethel’s music has helped me go through a lot. And I’ve always felt seen and less lonely when I watch your reaction videos. TYSM🫶🏻
YESSS ETHEL CAINNNNNN
Also the attachment and struggling with her view of the abuser you were describing, when she says “praying I’d be like you doing all of the things that you do and I still do and that scares me” is actually because the abuser in the story of preachers daughter is actually her father.
Thank u for not saying it's too gross or uncomfortable to talk about. Couldn't even read yet when this happened to me. To everyone like me, I'm sorry and I hope u find safety and comfort
oh my god i love her music,, I’m so excited for this reaction
yesss we’re so back
Gibson girl, homecoming (demo) and crying during sex need reading into! Its alot of pain but put in such a way that I think the grime of gen Z isnt afraid of. Weve seen our demons so young but the translation into a healthier cope is so worth covering.
I love how you can tell the second that mere goes from. This is really sad to. This is really sad and fuck whoever did this. You have that mom hatred in your eyes girly
Yes I do. It kicks in and I couldn’t trust myself in a room with someone i knew someone did this.
i have a song recommendation that is a good complement for this one which is Part Of Me by Evanescence, it’s not a sad song at all, on the contrary, it’s almost a mantra for anyone who is a trauma survivor
now just a few words of comfort for anyone who experienced this, as a CSA and SA survivor myself, i can assure you that at one point it is possible to make peace with your past experiences, specially by safely grieve and accept that you can’t change what happened, but you can still open yourself to new experiences, allow yourself to relearn patterns that once made you safe, and by letting those memories that hold you back go you can make room for those new ways of living, since there’s no rebirth without death. with that being said, please look up for professional help while doing this bc it can be pretty intense, and thank you Mere for holding a safe space for us 🤍
Thank you for sharing this and giving these wise words. I know that someone is reading them and even if they don’t comment, it is helping them. ❤
YAAAAS😭😭😭
Been waiting for this song
I Feel This Song Very Deeply As It Relates To Similar Themes From My Childhood And How It Feels After The Fact, Having Grown Up Now. It Was Not My Father, But My Brother. And Hearing You Discuss These Themes And Handle It So Delicately And With Such Empathy Made Me Cry, Actually!! In The End We Were Crying Together 😅😅
this song is on my sad playlist ahhha
I love you so much Mend with mere and I think you channel is amazing!
Thank you so much!
This song gets me 😭
More ETHEL CAIN, PLEASEEEEEEEE ❤
I loved your reaction!
Omg you actually reacted to ethel cain!!!
Yes please react to more Ethel Cain!
Ahh I need a Florence reaction
You should do Ethel Cain’s “Golden Age” album. Its only 5 songs and so goodddd.
please react to “Strangers”, i would love to watch your perspective through this one from Ethel
YES ETHELL
mere please react to head in the wall by ethel cain
When you said its almost always someone you knew I just went yup and thought of my stepfather it’s always those closest to you at least in my case it was! I really liked this song but hearing that part she can’t escape him god that hit so hard because even though I am out of that situation that trauma is still part of my life today people say move on but how how does one move on I lived it for years its almost like its engrained in me i guess that’s why im in therapy now so thats a step ❤
Mere look after yourself these songs are deep💕💕💕 we love you
Love u
FINALLY THANK YOU
i hope you're doing well, this one is definitely a tough listen. take care
you keep picking the worst ethel cain songs to react to 😭i mean most if not all the songs are dark but hard times is pretty up there.
Omg more Ethel Cain YES❤❤❤❤
please react more of her! 😢❤️
Im a fan of Ethel Cain, got into her through my love of Lana Del Rey. I would love see a reaction to her full album but be warned a few songs are really heavy so please do it when your ready and in a good place. Sending you love prayers and healing❤❤
what do you do when a client says something like this to you? I feel like it's very hard to keep composure hearing this. But this actually didn't happen to ethel since the events of her album are mostly fiction but I'm glad she shed a light on this topic.
I don’t react always like I did here, I am more composed and want to give space for them to process. I will show emotion tho, it’s not like I won’t, bc I am human and it isn’t okay. I am a mandated reporter so if the victim is under 18, I have to report it.
Preacher's Daughter is a very difficult album to experience. You really must hear it from beginning to the end in one listening to begin to understand it, the arc. Ethel the character tries to be hopeful several times early in the album but the things she must endure won't allow it. So heartbreaking. Still not sure where she is at the end.......with her mother.....is there some kind of relief where she ends up? Some forgiveness?
Lisa Germano started releasing albums in the 90s with numerous songs about the darkest parts of growing up female. They are not easy listens, but she put out life rafts in musical form, for young women who were not hearing their life experiences in culture. To start, "Cry Wolf", "Puppet" (with their unsettling videos) and "Riding My Bike" would be something a qualified person like yourself could properly examine and discuss.
PTSD? 😢
Oh please do 'House in Nebraska'. Very sad song
Thank you for the TW but still couldn’t have prepared me for this. I have almost zero memories before I was 12. Didn’t know this until later when my mom told me but I had anorexia when I was only 7. Of course she didn’t say that she just said I had to have someone sit and monitor me at lunch bc otherwise I’d throw it away. Why didn’t anyone help me? There were so many signs. I don’t remember ever feeling innocent. Multiple abuse events starting when I was 4. That tiredness and fear caused me further abuse later on I think partially because i was too scared to say no. False sense of control. But it’s easy to be frozen in fear when someone has a gun pointed at your head too. My life and who I could’ve been was stolen from me. I feel like I’m drowning. 😭
I hope that’s not TMI. Just wanted to share a small part of my trauma so maybe others can relate. I think I also needed to talk about it. I want to have hope for myself - I really do. But to be brutally honest I don’t think I’ve ever had a real chance. I don’t even know how I’m still here. I’m told it’s because I’m strong. I guess I am and that’s nice and all but even just for one day I’d like to not HAVE to be strong. I just want to be okay. Whatever that feels like.
Also…. You mentioned my world
“Dissociation” Population 1.
That reminds me to have you make one for the some “I hate it here” on TTPD. I’m telling you it’s gold and I relate to it a lot like almost too much. But it’s great and I think you’ll love it and everyone will love seeing your reaction ❤
Thank you for sharing and talking about it here bc it is safe here. There will be someone else reading you words and relating without you even knowing it. I hate all that’s said about strength. I think there’s a greater purpose for you and the experiences and in time, you will know. Easy for me to say on here but I do believe that. It doesn’t make any of your pain okay and you are allowed to feel every emotion about it. Sending you ❤
i hate relating to this. i absolutely hate it. why is this so common? what is wrong with people :(
Mere, you have such a beautiful,sensitive & loving heart. I feel like the viewers push negative & disturbing music towards you. Please be careful and take care
Thank you for your protectiveness, I can feel it ❤ I will take the songs suggested spaces out bc it can be a lot. ❤
Yaaaaaayyyyy
ETHEL CAIN YESSS
I really love your reactions❤️ I hope you could react to "Conflict of the mind" by Aurora❤️
OMG MERE AND ETHEL CAIN WAIT
Please do “I hate it Here”!!!!
Id love to hear your take on "Crying during sex" by ethel cain
Instantly started sobbing through her first 'mmmmm-mmm'. alright! love her so much.
9 going on 19 is her growing up fast
Hi, Mere! This might be a bit of an odd request, but would you be interested in reacting to "scared of my guitar" by olivia rodrigo? I'm curious to hear your take on the relationship dynamics there.
i think For Her by Fiona Apple is a great song to react to, it explores SA too, shes singing the song as a choir of women because she felt too small doing it alone, she wrote it for someone whos story wouldnt be listened to. Its very great.
Wow. Yes.
@@mendwithmere 💓💓💓
Family tree by Ethel cain, please ❤️🩹
what's really sad is if you've experienced this, especially by someone close to you, you make excuses for them. it's easy to hate a stranger who's done a heinous act but if it's a "good" person you see regularly, someone you still find yourself looking up to, wanting to be like them in someways, wanting their approval... it's hard, it's heavy.
Absolutely. So complex and hard to reconcile it all. Sending ❤
As far as I can tell online this whole album is a story she made up. Ethel Cain is a character. Anyone a fan here who knows her actual story?