I have mixed feelings about the cult I was in from 16-25, it made the army seem like nothing and I literally saw someone’s head explode into a million pieces but I got my first serious relationship in the cult people who escaped were in my wedding party every one of us is totally fucked up but their are people still going strong for this method of sobriety and structure to form groups in Alcoholics Anonymous and rules and sacrifices that are still even though they absolutely ruin peoples lives victimizing families by extracting mothers and fathers to do a bunch of unnecessary bullshit for superstitions really do seem like their really good guys like they really do make their lives about others and they are not hypocrites and they’re challenging and changing a stale malfunctioning organization monolithic structure and more importantly, completely undermining and subverting and in some cases outright destroying the totally fucked up rehab industry but again after experiencing that way of life for ten years seeing someone a couple feet away from you get shot in the head with a shotgun and pieces of brain get in your mouth and that level of trauma didn’t even register emotionally.
something that’s so special about your art is that you’re not afraid to finish it and start over just because it doesn’t feel 100% honest to YOU and that’s something we need to appreciate more. Thank you for always being 100% true to yourself and not letting time influence that
I get it, essentially not being a perfectionist which can in turn kill the flow of art. It is a go with the flow thing, something I wish wasn’t so but that is how it goes. "Dont fear perfection, you will never reach it." -Dali (one of his many pretentious quotes)
when I saw slowdive last november, they closed their show with their song golden hair. as the song reached its highest crescendo I experienced exactly what you are describing. I shut my eyes and tilted my head back, the energy of the guitars was pulsating through my soul in the most extraordinary way. It’s like you say, I could feel god. it was like my body was a glow stick and someone had just snapped me. I felt fully activated, transcendent even, like I was more connected with everything in the world after that momment. so so beautiful. thank you for putting words to this, it’s beautiful.
body like a snapped glowstick... wow that is just absolutely perfect. it's like being lit up. the first time it properly happened for me, i was about 15, i think? and standing in the sea on a beach in france. it was raining & behind me the fog was so thick i could barely see the sand dunes. in front of me the sky was stormy but there were the most incredible shards of light slicing down through the clouds. just an absolutely transcendental moment. thank you for sharing, this was so moving to read and made me think of my own 'rings'. gonna go and listen to that slowdive song now haha
the same exact thing happened to me when i saw slowdive in october. it’s so funny, it’s like the entire audience was enchanted for those 8 minutes, everyone was so still. genuinely so good
I just watched a performance of golden hair and body like a glow stick is the perfect way to put the feeling it evokes. I can only imagine how incredible that was to experience in person. What a cool moment!
I've come back here after Punish. The circle is absolutely complete. Divine theater beyond just ethereal gazing. Amazing... really, wow! My soul has been returned, however temporarily, to its rightful place. And I thank you for it, Miss Anhedonia 👏🙌
the weather + nature + music are always it for me as well. living in georgia, i have a lot of trees, and streams all around me. when i get a good weather - cold, cloudy, with purple/pink skies, and the sound of a heavy stream running after the rain… there’s no better feeling. i just sit down by the water and put some earbuds on and enjoy that moment. it’s a moment very special to me. i just look around and everything i see is so beautiful and it makes feel lucky for being alive. it makes me happy for being alive. it’s little moments like that that keep here. it’s a feeling that i’m not sure i’ll get after i die. it’s supernatural but only if your heart is beating.
Ok i fully get the ring concept. Theres times where ive been in the forest and the sun is shining just right and the forest ambience is heavenly and ive just closed my eyes and felt the sun on my skin and the green of the plants is so green and beautiful. Definitely felt this a lot when i smoked weed. Music, yoga, and nature mainly do it for me these days.
nature is a huuuuuuge ring for me. the stillness of the world in its natural form, the air moving freely, the beauty of the flora and fauna. nature is most definitely proximity to god (as well as just extremely peaceful).
@@mothercainoddly, nature IS a ring for me, but an even bigger ring for me is being underwater. Between floating there, seeing blue or the shapes the light takes on underneath the surface, the silence. It almost feels as if ur not there. Not in like a drowning sense, but floating underwater truly feels like true peace (for me at least)
@@pyratellamarecordingstudio1062 i’m fine being judged. Anyone listening to this crazy broad is better off with conventional religion. That’s all I meant.
I think she was going for “spawned”. As to create or establish, google will tell you it’s about fertilizing fish eggs, but colloquially it’s about laying a foundation for something.
to have this feeling visualized is insane. the divine theater blocked by fear due to overwhelming emotions, good or bad, is the best way i’ve ever seen this described.
Sun Bleached Flies is one of my Rings. Once that sax hits…It feels like I’m raptured, like I can breathe, like my body is lighter. I’d say some of my other rings are Bite The Hand by Boygenius, The Only Thing by Sufjan Stevens, A Pearl by Mitski, Square by Mitski. I for one, don’t feel a Ring in drugs or alcohol (I actually can’t stand the feeling of being drunk or high), I’d say music is the only place I truly feel a Ring and I can’t thank you enough for adding to my list of Rings with your beautiful music ❤️
Close to the Edge by Yes was the first song that made me feel like that. Dark side of the moon, kid A, What's Going on, Pink Moon, Grace, Titanic Rising, and of course Preachers daughter all followed. I consider any album that can put me in that place a masterpiece.
Strangers is the ring for meeeee. I found your music literally two days ago and I’ve had Strangers on repeat nonstop since. Changed the trajectory of my life.
i’d love to see more sitting-down-and-talking videos from you like this!! it’s so interesting to hear you talk about your art, plus your voice is so soothing 😌
many of her songs give me this feeling. it’s the closest i’ve ever been to what it seems like everyone around me in church was feeling that i could never experience in church.
Hayden covered the songs @ 9:45 pretty fast, so here they are written down :) "Cosmic Love" - Florence & The Machine "Grandloves" - Purity Ring "The Culling" by Chelsea Wolfe "Pedestal/Cover Me" by Vera Blue
How you described the hole and not leaving it in time is something that rang so true as someone who has experienced depression since childhood. I created a playlist to listen to your ring songs. Thank you for all that you've shared with us.
As a mystic of sorts, I believe in energy and using frequency to ascend dimensional planes, using vibration as a way to alter the physical reality. I like the idea of the ring, you can listen to frequency music but it gets kind of monotonous. Songs, however, are a mix of all kinds of them, used like some sort of lockpick for the soul to transcend to not just a higher plane of existence but to a specific place in human experience that nothing else can do like that. Your music is a perfect reflection of that ring because it alwaysssss takes me somewhere I didn’t even know existed and I love that so much.
"the muck and the mire of the human experience" is such a cool way to phrase life. this was such an enlightening video!! love how you drew the mixing diagram. it's very different to how i tend to approach producing, but it makes so much sense. thanks for sharing :)
This algorithm is getting scary, I feel like you took this from my head lol. I've definitely seen this in my mind before, but this visual makes it super clear! It's like the heros journey in everyday life, and during very big, important times in your life. Tysm for existing
Thank you for having this feeling visualized, especially when talking about the maze and sadness. I feel very connected to you as an artist, especially since we are the same age. The way you see, talk, and feel things is very inspiring. I’m grateful you were able to put words to things I have not been able to for a very long time.
9:14 I already know what you mean by the “sigh,” the first song of yours I heard, I was like, Oh my god, this music was mixed to be listened to by someone who experiences sound the way that I do. Because it doesn’t crash in the middle of my brain the way that most music does. I’m also autistic and even though I don’t have the grasp on music that I want to have (due to banality), I gain most of my proprioception and balance through hearing how sound echoes back off the objects around me, and that makes my experience of sound very visuospatial, and most music is not mixed in a way that doesn’t create a “crash” in center brain, but yours is, and the way it could flow through and around me spatially without creating crashing and brain zaps made me cry before I even got to the content, that was the first sigh
you’re so intelligent and fascinating to listen to. truly a once in a generation artist & talent. sun-bleached flies means everything to me as a (recovering) preachers daughter, definitely one of my rings. As I heard the song for the first time I cried and let so much trauma go because finally, it felt like someone understood. Thank you for everything
ah, that's exactly what i was thinking!! i've said spurned so many times this year knowing it was close to what i meant but also not what i meant at all so this definitely solves my mystery haha. thank you very much!
I feel "the pull" so often when I listen to you. When I'm around your music, the words, the sound, the voice, your voice all converge to create the soul enlightenment that you speak of. So sad for people who never experience this feeling. This 25 minute video clarifies so much for me about You, your music and how it affects me, I've never had this with any other artist. You are so special.
I'd love if you created a playlist with songs that you see as, 'completing the ring' and allowing you access to the divine theatre. It's interesting cause within this concept (if I understand it right), sharing music whether it be producing, performing or curating playlist is like casting magic - opening portals for others to feel the pull as well!
@@idratherstayanonimous7020 I think what they meant is that what Hayden or Ethel, if you will, is saying in this video, would be very off putting or kind of “crazy” to the general public. Like what she is talking about is so different to many people but she explains it so well and thoughtfully that it is sort of comforting to listen too.
@@grunions9648probably the sickles on the wall or the face tattoos are we just all gonna pretend like alternative styles aren’t alternative for a reason now??? lol
videos like these are my comfort videos. like i can be so upset and overhelmed and this just makes so calm and at home. love u so much Hayden, you are my muse
Ethel- youtube sent me your paranormal video because I watch Esoterica videos, and I discovered your amazing music. i grew up in the 70s and I usually don’t know or like much new music. But yours is really powerful and creative. Im glad I found you!
This made so much sense to me and I understood it intuitively. The maze being something I’m familiar with luckily I’m able to go back and forth, and crawl my way out of it but I have true knowledge of the maze . It made me slightly tear up, understanding a strangers words so deeply in myself.
i sat through almost this entire video with tears down my face because i couldn’t believe the way you got this so spot on. i’ve never heard anyone describe this feeling so in depth and right on point, we usually just hear words like “euphoria” and “ecstasy” mentioned like you said, but those words will never be enough to describe this feeling. like you, i experience this through music also, specifically your own. after i watched this video i listened to sun bleached flies and strangers with the thought of the diagram in mind and i genuinely felt my soul coming forward to enter that beautiful yet overwhelming theater more than ever. you’re so intelligent and talented in everything you do, you genuinely give new meaning to my life every single day. i’m so thankful for you and your existence.
i love how you talk about god as a higher calling. i’ve often felt this with music, or on mushrooms, in nature, or during transcendental intimacy. but it really is a way to touch something higher than yourself, kind of like tapping in to something “other”. Intimacy or even desire is something that i feel i often “touch god” with and I find that it almost immediately fall to the hole. In the deepest parts of my hole, your music is such a comfort. the raw vulnerability is something that can’t be replicated. the dark is incredibly inspiring. i find that the creativity i’m able to tap into while in there, and the themes that pop up that i’m able to play with, is something i can’t get while in the great dark, or even proximity to god. it’s only found within the dark. i used to be so scared of the me that was down there, your art reminds me to get to know her.
I want to share my most intense and overwhelming experience with 'the ring' as I understand it. I am from Masuria (currently Poland but not even 100 years ago it used to be part of Germany), so we have a lot of old, German graveyards here. I was 17 at the time. One night, I decided to go with my ex-best friend to one of these graveyards and drink vodka there. We got super wasted, stayed there through most of the night but when we saw the sunbeams slowly peaking through the horizon, we decided to come back home. The terrain here is super hilly I must add. As I was walking among the wheet fields, sobering up and with my headphones on, I saw one of the most breathtaking and astonishing views of my life. It may seem simple and not special at all but it captivated me for an unknown reason at that moment. Just the tip of the orange sun coming out of its hideaway behind the horizon alongside with still visible stars on the sapphire-blue sky, lighting up the fog-veiled hills and the front trees of the forest nearby. I was feeling the cold breeze on my face and the humidity in my nose as it was almost 5AM. All of this while listening to Indian Summer by Jónsi (from Sigur Rós) and Alex Somers. I just stood there almost paralized, bursting into tears of so many feelings. Sadness, calmness, acceptance, happiness, longing, beauty, finity of our lives. It just hit me that we are all limited, our lives are limited, filled with joy, grief, misunderstandings, fights, victories, failures, goodbyes and welcomes. No one will ever stay here forever, no one will stay with me forever, because the world is an everchanging place. I will experience all the amazing highs and depressing lows, I will die just like my relatives, but I just felt so peaceful about it. And as bitter-sweet as it is, I somehow accepted it all in one moment. And I stood there bawling my eyes out due to this weird feeling of coming to terms with all of this as if it was some sort of sacred knowledge. Even to this day, when I listen to this song I cry everytime and get this particular feeling, although weaker. It changed me, it was so sudden and out of place but it did really change me. I won't ever forget this beautiful sight along this incredible song.
Incredible lecture, really like the concept of it, never thought of experiencing art in such way, definitely felt it, but never had the words to explained that feeling, thank you
12:20 when you talk about the rise of the soul and the divine theatre it really reminds me of Rainer Maria Rilke's First Duino Elegy that starts like: Who, if I cried out, would hear me among the angels' hierarchies? and even if one of them pressed me suddenly against his heart: I would be consumed in that overwhelming existence. For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror, which we still are just able to endure, and we are so awed because it serenely disdains to annihilate us. Every angel is terrifying. Love your work. Got to see you in Omaha last year and felt the crest during Gibson Girl
you fully explained the feeling i get when listening to ptolemaea, especially the sigh in the last "stop". even if i wouldn't describe what follows as ecstatic, the catharsis of the rest of the song does feel divine. thank you for sharing your thought processes, i find them profoundly valuable as an aspiring artist.
I feel this “pull” often. And I believe I've felt this divine theatre on occasion. I very much appreciate this level of introspection and sharing of your thoughts. Your music very much helps me and hurts me at the same time. And I definitely feel like it has shown me a way of dealing with intense melancholy. So for that, I thank you. And look forward to your next piece.
I love this about the concept of "god" - how you try to describe it around 4:32 - that when you're trying to describe divinity, words become insufficient. There are so many religious traditions that use metaphors to describe god, or terms that indicate to kind of ineffability... Divinity defies description. And sometimes the closest we can come to talking about it is talking around it. Nature often feels closest to god to me. I'm glad it did for you, too. ☺
you've explained this concept so well! this video helped me name a lot of on my own experiences, "the pull" is such a beautiful thing and even though I'm not religious at all, it does make me feel closer to god, to the universe, to everything... but I definitely feel an overwhelming amount of fear about it too, it gets too intense for me very quickly and I think that's why I never thought about this concept long enough to get it. really glad I watched this
I love your point about brushing the veil of God without totally immersing yourself with God. Such a profound statement. I love your art and your interpretation of the unknown. Thank you for this lense!
That part really got me. To me it felt like once we reach that state of BEING GOD, we won't have anything else to Life (with a capital L or God, as Ethel describes it). There is nothing to look forward to and hence, the other Rings or portals to God might destroy along with it. So, it is enough to always strive to be God but never be the Life. This was a fantastic by Ethel.
sun bleached flies is one of my rings i have an entire playlist that describes this but i’ve never actually ever been able to put it into words. this was so beautifully said thank you
This is the first time I hear someone articulating what has troubled me my entire life. I would very easily go into these transcendent states through music, and my isolation in teenage years left me a lot of space to do just that most of the time. Merging with music, nature, everything. Anathema's Alternative 4 and Judgement albums would do that for me in particular. And then I went out into the real world and could not come down to earth and ended up basically traumatized just by the reality of everyday life. I'm revisiting my life story now, and your video came at a profoundly right moment. i need to accept my proximity to these states and become what i wanted to, a musician
Hayden, I am a melomaniac and this is the most articulate and accurate explanation of how music makes me feel. I watched this 3 times in a row with tears streaming down my face. I feel such a kindred spirit in you, and through your music. House in Nebraska and God's Country are my biggest rings of yours. I feel the ring in almost every single Florence song, too. Thank you so much for this Mother. 🖤
@@colonizedgrain4034 that's a good song. Good album. But not an insult if that's how you meant it. I am melomaniac. I have a unique relationship with music. Especially since I have end-stage Multiple Sclerosis and music is one of the few things I can focus on without feeling like my brain is on fire. In fact, there were several Ethel Cain songs on the playlist I created that played through the speakers in the operating theater while I was awake for my 9 hour craniotomy to remove a brain tumor this summer. Hopefully you or someone close to you never has to know what that's like. As for me, I'll continue listening to and making music and integral part of my life. And I hope you do as well. ✌️
@@abrahamjesse3425or you could leave other people to feel however they want. And also maybe Google the word 'melomaniac'. I'm sorry you're so unfulfilled you feel the need to harass people that have a deep connection with music. Something that makes people feel deeply and motivates them, gives them hope, help them deal with whatever is going on in their lives, is not a bad thing. I hope you find something someday that makes you feel that way.
I've never been able to put this into words before, but I've felt this once in my life. Earlier this year I went to a rave in Texas and experienced euphoria unlike any other. The dj started playing lil wayne and me being from Louisiana used to listen to him as a kid. Without skipping a beat I started singing all the lyrics to one of the songs while at the same time taking in every instrumental. I haven't listened to him since I was little yet knew every lyric and in that moment, surrounded by friends, I felt at peace and I mean true peace while also feeling connected to my past, present and future. Connected to my past through my favorite childhood artist, connected to the present through the movement of my body and senses, and connected to the future through my friends around me. I know this sounds silly because, it was an artist like lil wayne, but It was really beautiful.
i honestly feel like live music in general is such a ring for me, it's so powerful and beautiful to be in the same space with so many people having the same experience. i can't describe it super poetically but the connection to everyone else and feeling the music in your body as well as hearing it... what a rush! what a beautiful thing to experience!
One of my music "rings" is listening to Yes. Songs like "Close to the Edge" , "And You and I", "The Revealing Science of God", and many others. I experience the beautiful journey that you describe so well listening to Yes. I appreciate you putting it into words. I don't know that i could ever have articulated my "ring" to anyone...but now I can share this video! Thank you.❤️
Ugh, I just stumbled onto this video at 10PM on a Sunday knowing nothing about you or your music, and now it's 4AM and I have to work in the morning. You are so talented. I grew up in a Baptist home as well, going to church with my grandparents every Sunday. I feel connected to your struggle and admire your openness and self awareness. A few of my "rings" in music would be: Counting Crows - Colorblind, Tool - Parabola, A Perfect Circle - Gravity. In nature, it would be sitting on the break walls on the shore of Lake Erie, listening to the waves crashing in with the smell of the lake in the air. Looking forward to listening to more of your music. Cheers.
No denomination s, no religion, only " the way " Jesus Christ not any divisions ( Baptist, or catholic, protestant ect ,) only a personal RELATIONSHIP with Jesus Christ, I know him through POWER in his name against shapeshifting fallen Angel's I dont care if people call me crazy , I have witnessed this . Church is where two or three beleiver s are gathered together , not any building.
Idk if I even have the words to articulate how hearing you offering this guidance thru what life can feel like, gifted me a understanding & healing. the hole, that part, it resonated so hard, the maze, how appealing it all is, for those of us attracted to the comfort of darkness, to the vast magical unknown that sparks interest when you're in the low. I just hope you know this was beautiful, and helpful. thank you for sharing your mind with us, truly. big love your way babe
I get that “pull” feeling when I listen to the end by the doors, live at the bowl. Right at 7:54, that distortion after all the build up and intensity just does something to my soul. It’s a really cool feeling, like you’re at peace for a split second in that present moment.
I think the distinction between the Hole and the Maze, and the implications of the visualizations of those things that are conjured by the names you've given them here, is a really useful idea. I'm definitely going to be thinking more on everything you talked about, but those in particular resonated with me as things I've experienced but haven't been able to name. Naming a thing is the first step towards interacting with it on your own terms. Thank you for that ^-^
This is so accurate and makes a lot of sense, I feel in another dimension when I listen to certain songs, I love the word ring to define that fullfness. This is the first time I hear someone put words to what I've been feeling with music for yearsssss.
As someone who is schizophrenic, I feel this flexibility between the great dark, the veil, the crest, the ring, the hole and the maze. Like I'm constantly shifting between it all, sometimes with but mostly without control. Music for me, keeps me grounded. I feel like I shift into the ring and touch the veil more often than I fall into the maze. Either way, it is very hard for me to stay in the great dark.
@@maricarmensandovalcapa6057stop telling schizophrenic people bullshit like this. Our brains are extremely complex, schizophrenia is an example of that.
thank you for this, it gave me so much understanding of my own relationship to art and the way the other people in my life approach spirituality, which i really admire about them. it made me realize that my religion is actually quite healing and fulfilling for me, even if i think of myself as not religious because i practice differently. definitely going to be thinking about this for awhile. also btw your voice is so soothing :)
You put this so well, as an aspiring artist/mystic/human I've expressed this (privately) and it feels even better to hear someone else expressing something I once held so close to my heart. I forgot the whole purpose of divining such a truth was to share with others; scared of losing it, either by someone taking it or stamping on it. Forgetfulness is the condition of the great dark and we cannot (perhaps even should not) remember everything, but every day I realize that life can become the divine theater once I submit to my role in the act (the trouble is discovering what role you're playing, and for how long). So I troll through the great dark and wait for my entrance, keeping one foot in the funnel-web and one in-step, wary of the minotaur and his labyrinth. I like this world you've built, we've built. Thank you for sharing.
The fact that you were able to put this into words and show all of us this feeling that so many of us have experienced is incredible. I was just talking last week with my boyfriend how I feel like music is spiritual, and it's just incredible. You are so intuitive and it's a beautiful, beautiful thing!! I had this video saved in my watch later, hoping to be able to watch it at some point. Every time I went onto my TH-cam your video was the top one in the feed. I'm definitely here for a reason, to listen to your words. Thank you🙏
I love the conversation around fear existing within euphoria. I think there’s so much our intelligence doesn’t know and can’t comprehend, and I feel like any time I enter the divine theater it’s a realization of how microscopic my life is while wanting to understand everything i don’t know and feeling joy in knowing I’m not in control of anything. But it’s also scary to feel SO out of control on that level.
this is insane- I’ve never felt more connected and understood before - genuinely to the point of thinking a certain word and Hayden says it in the next sentence. the whole autistic processing of art, I feel that. Also, the downer and enjoying that is so real. This video is amazing and I always come back to it. This resonates so deeply in my being!! Love you ❤️🔥
Experienced a ring this morning - I live in mid-Norway, and the sun is only present for a couple of hours a day in the winter. While waiting for the bus, alone, wrapped up cozily, Family Tree plays from my headphones, the sun hits my eyes... I close them and feel the moment of warmth; of dissolving into grace. "So take me down to the river... and bathe me clean"... I open my eyes, and I'm surrounded by people also waiting for the bus - when did they arrive? I don't recall this moment. I was just lost in a sigh.
‘House in Nebraska’ is for sure a ring for me, as well as your collab with Ashnikko on ‘Dying Star’… I’ve listened to your entire album and just walked in the sun, taking pictures of my serene midwestern safe spaces lol. Your music really speaks to me on this soul level, it inspires me to make my own music ✨
The first time that I listened to Adagio in G minor was one of the first times I ever felt this way. I had just smoked a bowl and had my little LEDs fading between colors. The song was nearing the crest and I could feel something more evidential of something within my body than my body itself getting sort of pulled upward. When the song reached its peak, it felt as if my body/spirit was becoming bright. My heart felt full and I felt fulfilled. I feel this way more frequently now and I've realized that it always seems to occur when I feel most connected to everything. Whether it be in deep meditation, on shrooms, or just sitting up at a mountain overlook staring into a deep golden sunset. I was never able to properly word it in a coherent way. Thanks for sharing your perspective on this!
you've just put to words something i've felt so many times 😭 you have the most beautiful mind. i love the way you think and the way you speak about your ideas. thank you so much for this video:)
Thank You Hayden!!! We live in amazing times and there is a great “pull” being felt by all those who are open to it… Your music is an amazing pull for me and, you are a transcendent artist because … you feel and tap in to that indefinable part of art that draws people towards it without them fully aware of what it is that draw them…. Keep exploring all that is …and know that it is an honor for come along on the ride with you!!! Onward!!! 🙋♀️💕🌻
you just perfectly put into words not only my experience with ur music, but my own thoughts when processing my own relationship with god and region, as well as my experience of being extremly high on grass and suddenly having this overwhelming fear of god... like...
Some songs are just filled with so many perfect layers. Almost like the song has the perfect amount of noise, it’s jam packed with every possible sound that makes sense. It’s so beautiful it’s almost like the song is so big and heavy it just smothers you. So many Ethel Cain songs give me that feeling Family tree has an incredible build up and strangers and obviously ptolemaea. It’s seriously powerful shit
wow you’re in my head. you visualized the feeling so well. i’ve always had trouble figuring out what to picture in my head while i’m in the ring and this is it. the first time i felt the pull i wasn’t aware of what it was and its implications. only later did i start connecting the idea of the ring to the pull, and the pull to a “god.” maybe not god in the conventional sense but like as a really strong connection that is within all of us, but can only be felt consciously when it is activated by an external stimulus.
I feel that pull thru your music so often and I think you explained this amazingly. I have experienced it in other music as well as in literature and film. it’s indescribable and yet you’ve put it into words
I love this video so much, what a beautifully articulated concept. Something I've always pondered about, but you illustrating a diagram and explaining it really gave such a clear visual for me to reference. You're a very intentional person and I think that's what makes your art so special to me. You're capturing such precious things about the human experience and then being so generous and sharing them with all of us. I really appreciate you and your beautiful existence. Much love.
For me sun bleached flies is definitely a ring. It just feels so good being like a song of acceptance within the sadness. I remember that one time when I was listening to it while walking home while it was dark, windy and very rainy, I was walking over a bridge and it was such a beautiful moment
I have had my own specific theory that I've tried explaining to others for years and this comes the closest to my feelings I have ever heard. The section of the video where you are describing the fear at 16:07, I feel that way too and I've only recently been able to pinpoint what it is for me and I think it is a sense of loneliness, that once in the 'divine theater', you cannot share it with anyone, you experience it alone it can be isolating to experience proximity to god or something greater when you walk that journey alone and it is an immensity you cannot hold in your hands. I am watching this video in nearly in tears because I have never heard someone even come close to understanding the way I feel gravitational pulls to otherworldly feelings when I hear certain songs. I've felt this when listening to so many artists, but a good example is not only lyrically but sonically, the line "I'm not scared of god, i'm scared he was gone all along" and the final howl of "you were wrong" in Inbred bring me into the divine theater. (my version of it, anyway.) I also experienced this during Punish. I listened all night entranced and embraced in this dark surrounding me hugging tightly. You have such a beautiful and incredible mind. Watching this made me feel so much less alone. Thank you for sharing this.
18:40 _The Ring resonates, The Great Dark quietens, The Hole echoes, The Maze beknights._ Reading _The Passenger_ & _Stella Maris_ with _Preacher's Daughter_ & _The Valley_ (Emma Ruth Rundle) on was perfection.
"spawned" - i think is an appropriate word you may have been searching for at the beginning. I dig your approach towards music/creative expression and mental/spiritual states. Some similitude to kabbalistic concepts in your diagrams. Also, the hole is also a ring and has a "pull". Great job in your concepts, its refreshing to see a person be so vested. Kudos as well to your vision and music - its some of the most emotionally intense music I've heard in years. Godbless ya!
This is really cool! This video made me really interested in Hayden(?) as a voice/artist imo The great dark is our ego or sense of separateness from everything. the divine/god/connection to everythingness is always within us as well. the human condition is the contradictory state of being separate/ego & everythingness/divinity. when you anthropomorphize our divinity or mix eternal + ego, you get permanent individual spirit- but i think that's trying to squeeze that "god"/divinity/everythingness into the ego/individuality/separateness paradigm, because we identify more as the separate part of ourselves than the connected part of ourselves. If you look at everything on the spectrum of separateness to connectedness, you'll realize most of modern society is geared towards alienation and separateness. I really believe that's why we're all so riddled with anxiety and depressed.
Seems you understand a lot of what's really going on. May I add, the 1st cause for alienation and separateness is fear. They might argue no, it's also distaste, differing views and such. Except when digging deeper into 1st cause of those, you will almost always discover fear as the main character. The division throughout the western societies that is reaching its boiling point is mostly about fear of change. So much focus on escaping the ego now days. They mostly get it wrong. The ego can be good when fear of others is taken down and the assets of the ego or warrior is used in helping the tribe. The great warrior is found to be useless without the team. Alienation and separation is what the narcissist promote because they fear the great teams and they need others to live in the same unchanged fears.
Just got my wisdom teeth out and I'm watching this high as shit but there is something about you that is just so beautifully and calmingly haunting. Thank you for sharing your thoughts in videos like this because it's the closest i'll get to being able to pick your brain. Absolutely adore you and your art
This was the fist video i ever came across of yours, prior to ever listening to any of your music. I immediately thought you were very inspirational and i thought about you a lot. I started listening to your music and couldnt really get into it at first, it took time, honestly. Recently i heard ptolomea and ever since, i just love to hear your voice. I dont really skip any of your songs. Ptolomea is a dark ring. Its honestly one of the most perfect pieces of art ive ever experienced, it is just absolutely on every conceivable level-pure perfection. Not a single thing i dont like about it. I like knowing my pain is your pain, i dont really care if that makes me sound like a bad person. Its nice to have you here, its a relief. You're pretty much like a soulmate to me even if i go through this life never meeting you. I just wanted to tell you, that im really glad you create and express yourself the way you do. Its incredible, there are not words to describe how beautiful it is.
This is truly one of the best videos I've ever seen and one of the most fascinating concepts I've ever learned about. The way The Ring really doubles as music theory and spirituality is so beautiful. The Pull is something I feel when I play my violin or that certain song plays that just makes me transcend a little lol. Thank you for creating and sharing this incredible concept that puts a name to a feeling so precious. I've so fallen in love with your music and artistry
you truly put into words the pure, simple joy of feeling alive with a medium that feels so otherworldly yet human. i feel this so deeply about many songs including a lot of yours. songs no matter how many times i listen to them i get a huge lump in my throat and want to cry, not from sadness but because of how beautiful they are. it’s a sensory experience from something that doesn’t physically touch me. it’s a religious experience.
You’re music touches me in a place that music hasn’t reached in years. You make me feel the way I felt when I first discovered evanescence as a queer little boy, not understanding or being able to verbalise why I felt so different, but through the music being able to connect to the feelings in the most visceral way. That’s what I feel hearing your music. I forgot what that felt like. It hurts and also feels liberating. You’re my ring and your my sigh and I’m so grateful for you art. I’m from South Africa but on top of my list for 2024 is to travel purely to see you live. Thank you for the music
the concept is very interesting and the end made me giggle because i visualize my mental space as a maze lol, got into your music over the past few weeks and now i couldn't be more excited to see where things go, wish you the best!!
I'm so glad that one of the first ring you mentioned was with Grandloves. I have personally had ecstatic experiences around the ages of 14-16 with that particular song. I am also autistic.
This year I found out I was autistic. I am 38 of always gotten that feeling from Music but when I told other people they didn’t understand you putting it in the words like you did make me feel seen thank you and I love your music.
Yo I'm 1:55 in and this chick is SO FRIED
😭😭😭😭😭
Fried. Deep. Nice and crispy.
@@johnjenkins5854 calm down john jenkins 😭😭😭😭😭
LMAO MA MAN
As soon as she said “I’m thinking churned” I went to the comments, saw this and realized I was paused at 1:55 😂😂
I’ve always maintained that I would never fall into a cult, but this video convinced me that I probably would.
literally same
I have mixed feelings about the cult I was in from 16-25, it made the army seem like nothing and I literally saw someone’s head explode into a million pieces but I got my first serious relationship in the cult people who escaped were in my wedding party every one of us is totally fucked up but their are people still going strong for this method of sobriety and structure to form groups in Alcoholics Anonymous and rules and sacrifices that are still even though they absolutely ruin peoples lives victimizing families by extracting mothers and fathers to do a bunch of unnecessary bullshit for superstitions really do seem like their really good guys like they really do make their lives about others and they are not hypocrites and they’re challenging and changing a stale malfunctioning organization monolithic structure and more importantly, completely undermining and subverting and in some cases outright destroying the totally fucked up rehab industry but again after experiencing that way of life for ten years seeing someone a couple feet away from you get shot in the head with a shotgun and pieces of brain get in your mouth and that level of trauma didn’t even register emotionally.
🤣
Create ur own, dont be a sheep
Same
front row for ethel´s lecture
I'll pay out of pocket for that class 😅 need an open discussion at the end tho
Me:
That’s mother Cain to you
Hope she pins this comment xX
something that’s so special about your art is that you’re not afraid to finish it and start over just because it doesn’t feel 100% honest to YOU and that’s something we need to appreciate more. Thank you for always being 100% true to yourself and not letting time influence that
I get it, essentially not being a perfectionist which can in turn kill the flow of art. It is a go with the flow thing, something I wish wasn’t so but that is how it goes.
"Dont fear perfection, you will never reach it." -Dali (one of his many pretentious quotes)
@Alejandro-gk9jw not necessarily. i feel like a lot of artists sell out and don’t stay true to themselves
@Alejandro-gk9jw i’m just saying how much i appreciate hayden. it’s not that deep lmfao
@Alejandro-gk9jw dude what the fuck is your problem 😭
this!!!🖤
when I saw slowdive last november, they closed their show with their song golden hair. as the song reached its highest crescendo I experienced exactly what you are describing. I shut my eyes and tilted my head back, the energy of the guitars was pulsating through my soul in the most extraordinary way. It’s like you say, I could feel god. it was like my body was a glow stick and someone had just snapped me. I felt fully activated, transcendent even, like I was more connected with everything in the world after that momment. so so beautiful. thank you for putting words to this, it’s beautiful.
body like a snapped glowstick... wow that is just absolutely perfect. it's like being lit up. the first time it properly happened for me, i was about 15, i think? and standing in the sea on a beach in france. it was raining & behind me the fog was so thick i could barely see the sand dunes. in front of me the sky was stormy but there were the most incredible shards of light slicing down through the clouds. just an absolutely transcendental moment. thank you for sharing, this was so moving to read and made me think of my own 'rings'. gonna go and listen to that slowdive song now haha
the same exact thing happened to me when i saw slowdive in october. it’s so funny, it’s like the entire audience was enchanted for those 8 minutes, everyone was so still. genuinely so good
slowdive’s version of that song is amazing no doubt, but credits gotta go to Syd Barrett for that one
I just watched a performance of golden hair and body like a glow stick is the perfect way to put the feeling it evokes. I can only imagine how incredible that was to experience in person. What a cool moment!
I saw this in April and felt the same way 😭
I've come back here after Punish. The circle is absolutely complete. Divine theater beyond just ethereal gazing. Amazing... really, wow! My soul has been returned, however temporarily, to its rightful place. And I thank you for it, Miss Anhedonia 👏🙌
yes, agreed. thanks. plus jane doe
@@zachbailey3155 m' man!
VIdeo games music specially online games is one of the most under rated music you can find. th-cam.com/video/62Nl7CmdwUU/w-d-xo.html
wat
@@efebrahim lol did you actually WATCH the video? 🤦😂
the weather + nature + music are always it for me as well. living in georgia, i have a lot of trees, and streams all around me. when i get a good weather - cold, cloudy, with purple/pink skies, and the sound of a heavy stream running after the rain… there’s no better feeling. i just sit down by the water and put some earbuds on and enjoy that moment. it’s a moment very special to me. i just look around and everything i see is so beautiful and it makes feel lucky for being alive. it makes me happy for being alive. it’s little moments like that that keep here. it’s a feeling that i’m not sure i’ll get after i die. it’s supernatural but only if your heart is beating.
Wow, you described bliss!
but only if your heart is beating
SPURRED
Same
Damn, nice thoughts right there
Ok i fully get the ring concept. Theres times where ive been in the forest and the sun is shining just right and the forest ambience is heavenly and ive just closed my eyes and felt the sun on my skin and the green of the plants is so green and beautiful. Definitely felt this a lot when i smoked weed. Music, yoga, and nature mainly do it for me these days.
nature is a huuuuuuge ring for me. the stillness of the world in its natural form, the air moving freely, the beauty of the flora and fauna. nature is most definitely proximity to god (as well as just extremely peaceful).
@@mothercainoddly, nature IS a ring for me, but an even bigger ring for me is being underwater. Between floating there, seeing blue or the shapes the light takes on underneath the surface, the silence. It almost feels as if ur not there. Not in like a drowning sense, but floating underwater truly feels like true peace (for me at least)
@@period6650yes! I crave to have headphones that are waterproof so I can swim and listen to music
Shrooms also help you with this ♡ I need to take another trip and listen to Ethel, because she’s the only person who I’ve heard explain it so well.. ♡
@@shadiestsquid5032this. I need this to exist
girl this is how ur music makes ME feel. i feel as though no music has really ever brought me closer to enlightenment than preachers daughter.
came to the comments to say this same thing. like ethel you have created my ring!!
literally 😭
This is so real though
this!!! the crescendo of sun bleached flies and family tree make me feel like I'm acending
here after listening to Punish on repeat and everything you’ve described here is what I felt listening to Punish and watching the music video
exactly
hayden this video sort of has changed my life
go read a bible
@@LiliumCruorem judge not lest ye be judged
@@pyratellamarecordingstudio1062 i’m fine being judged. Anyone listening to this crazy broad is better off with conventional religion. That’s all I meant.
"Spurred" is the word you were looking for my dear friend.
I think she was going for “spawned”. As to create or establish, google will tell you it’s about fertilizing fish eggs, but colloquially it’s about laying a foundation for something.
Spurred would work. I too took it to be spawned.
Love Florence of course :) 💗😍 and machine of course 😂
“spurred a thought” is a common phrase and the most common way the word spur/spurred is used in english
i spawned a 6lb holysht@@andrewrobertson5508
to have this feeling visualized is insane. the divine theater blocked by fear due to overwhelming emotions, good or bad, is the best way i’ve ever seen this described.
Sun Bleached Flies is one of my Rings. Once that sax hits…It feels like I’m raptured, like I can breathe, like my body is lighter. I’d say some of my other rings are Bite The Hand by Boygenius, The Only Thing by Sufjan Stevens, A Pearl by Mitski, Square by Mitski. I for one, don’t feel a Ring in drugs or alcohol (I actually can’t stand the feeling of being drunk or high), I’d say music is the only place I truly feel a Ring and I can’t thank you enough for adding to my list of Rings with your beautiful music ❤️
sun bleached flies is absolutely a ring you're so right
Close to the Edge by Yes was the first song that made me feel like that. Dark side of the moon, kid A, What's Going on, Pink Moon, Grace, Titanic Rising, and of course Preachers daughter all followed. I consider any album that can put me in that place a masterpiece.
bite the hand is soooo good!!!
omg yes!!! and bite the hand too i always feel kind of overwhelmed but also complete when the end comes ?? (seeing it live changed me fr fr)
@@Caves_of_Altamiralisten to "Betsy on the roof"(song) by Julia holter, you'll be taken
This video and a blunt is all I need
me watching this stoned
Strangers is the ring for meeeee. I found your music literally two days ago and I’ve had Strangers on repeat nonstop since. Changed the trajectory of my life.
still listening?
@ top song on Spotify wrapped
i’d love to see more sitting-down-and-talking videos from you like this!! it’s so interesting to hear you talk about your art, plus your voice is so soothing 😌
Her voice sounds a little bit like Angela’s Bassett voice.
thisss
no really it's like asmr
Artists sharing their thought process and experiences is my absolute favorite thing, thank you so much for posting this
many of her songs give me this feeling. it’s the closest i’ve ever been to what it seems like everyone around me in church was feeling that i could never experience in church.
Hayden covered the songs @ 9:45 pretty fast, so here they are written down :)
"Cosmic Love" - Florence & The Machine
"Grandloves" - Purity Ring
"The Culling" by Chelsea Wolfe
"Pedestal/Cover Me" by Vera Blue
Listened to all those songs, didn't like even 1 of them.
Listened to all those songs, loved every single 1 of them
cosmic love being one of my favorites ever 🖤🖤🖤🖤
@@BalboaBaggins you must have terrible music taste to not like cosmic love
@@cheeseballer_ "Taste" is subjective.
How you described the hole and not leaving it in time is something that rang so true as someone who has experienced depression since childhood. I created a playlist to listen to your ring songs. Thank you for all that you've shared with us.
As a mystic of sorts, I believe in energy and using frequency to ascend dimensional planes, using vibration as a way to alter the physical reality. I like the idea of the ring, you can listen to frequency music but it gets kind of monotonous. Songs, however, are a mix of all kinds of them, used like some sort of lockpick for the soul to transcend to not just a higher plane of existence but to a specific place in human experience that nothing else can do like that. Your music is a perfect reflection of that ring because it alwaysssss takes me somewhere I didn’t even know existed and I love that so much.
some songs are almost like a sling shot in a way to the ring.
yes, you love the Anti-Christ, Lucifer.
@@heterodoxx5300retard
@@heterodoxx5300yes
"the muck and the mire of the human experience" is such a cool way to phrase life. this was such an enlightening video!! love how you drew the mixing diagram. it's very different to how i tend to approach producing, but it makes so much sense. thanks for sharing :)
This algorithm is getting scary, I feel like you took this from my head lol. I've definitely seen this in my mind before, but this visual makes it super clear! It's like the heros journey in everyday life, and during very big, important times in your life. Tysm for existing
Thank you for having this feeling visualized, especially when talking about the maze and sadness. I feel very connected to you as an artist, especially since we are the same age. The way you see, talk, and feel things is very inspiring. I’m grateful you were able to put words to things I have not been able to for a very long time.
9:14 I already know what you mean by the “sigh,” the first song of yours I heard, I was like, Oh my god, this music was mixed to be listened to by someone who experiences sound the way that I do. Because it doesn’t crash in the middle of my brain the way that most music does. I’m also autistic and even though I don’t have the grasp on music that I want to have (due to banality), I gain most of my proprioception and balance through hearing how sound echoes back off the objects around me, and that makes my experience of sound very visuospatial, and most music is not mixed in a way that doesn’t create a “crash” in center brain, but yours is, and the way it could flow through and around me spatially without creating crashing and brain zaps made me cry before I even got to the content, that was the first sigh
the ring is something i have felt my whole life listening to certain songs and i could never put it into words
it makes a lot of sense why in church we sing and worship to be able to reach past the veil and grow closer to God, life itself.
you’re so intelligent and fascinating to listen to. truly a once in a generation artist & talent. sun-bleached flies means everything to me as a (recovering) preachers daughter, definitely one of my rings. As I heard the song for the first time I cried and let so much trauma go because finally, it felt like someone understood. Thank you for everything
Spurred was the word you were looking for! I knew what you meant 🖤
ah, that's exactly what i was thinking!! i've said spurned so many times this year knowing it was close to what i meant but also not what i meant at all so this definitely solves my mystery haha. thank you very much!
@@mothercain i was thinking "spawned:" to bring forth; generate. but, hey...we get (and appreciate) you.
I was thinking sparked @@mothercain
from using spurs to motivate your horse
Came here to say the same. Side note, I love videos like this
getting high and rewatching this is basically a hobby of mine at this point
I feel "the pull" so often when I listen to you. When I'm around your music, the words, the sound, the voice, your voice all converge to create the soul enlightenment that you speak of. So sad for people who never experience this feeling. This 25 minute video clarifies so much for me about You, your music and how it affects me, I've never had this with any other artist. You are so special.
I'd love if you created a playlist with songs that you see as, 'completing the ring' and allowing you access to the divine theatre. It's interesting cause within this concept (if I understand it right), sharing music whether it be producing, performing or curating playlist is like casting magic - opening portals for others to feel the pull as well!
I love how weirdly comforting she is. I feel like I’m supposed to be off put by her energy but i can tell her heart is so soft and pure
Why you felt like you were supposed to be off put by her energy? That's interesting.
@@idratherstayanonimous7020 I think what they meant is that what Hayden or Ethel, if you will, is saying in this video, would be very off putting or kind of “crazy” to the general public. Like what she is talking about is so different to many people but she explains it so well and thoughtfully that it is sort of comforting to listen too.
@@grunions9648probably the sickles on the wall or the face tattoos are we just all gonna pretend like alternative styles aren’t alternative for a reason now??? lol
videos like these are my comfort videos. like i can be so upset and overhelmed and this just makes so calm and at home. love u so much Hayden, you are my muse
Ethel- youtube sent me your paranormal video because I watch Esoterica videos, and I discovered your amazing music. i grew up in the 70s and I usually don’t know or like much new music. But yours is really powerful and creative. Im glad I found you!
This made so much sense to me and I understood it intuitively. The maze being something I’m familiar with luckily I’m able to go back and forth, and crawl my way out of it but I have true knowledge of the maze . It made me slightly tear up, understanding a strangers words so deeply in myself.
i sat through almost this entire video with tears down my face because i couldn’t believe the way you got this so spot on. i’ve never heard anyone describe this feeling so in depth and right on point, we usually just hear words like “euphoria” and “ecstasy” mentioned like you said, but those words will never be enough to describe this feeling. like you, i experience this through music also, specifically your own. after i watched this video i listened to sun bleached flies and strangers with the thought of the diagram in mind and i genuinely felt my soul coming forward to enter that beautiful yet overwhelming theater more than ever. you’re so intelligent and talented in everything you do, you genuinely give new meaning to my life every single day. i’m so thankful for you and your existence.
i love how you talk about god as a higher calling. i’ve often felt this with music, or on mushrooms, in nature, or during transcendental intimacy. but it really is a way to touch something higher than yourself, kind of like tapping in to something “other”. Intimacy or even desire is something that i feel i often “touch god” with and I find that it almost immediately fall to the hole. In the deepest parts of my hole, your music is such a comfort. the raw vulnerability is something that can’t be replicated. the dark is incredibly inspiring. i find that the creativity i’m able to tap into while in there, and the themes that pop up that i’m able to play with, is something i can’t get while in the great dark, or even proximity to god. it’s only found within the dark. i used to be so scared of the me that was down there, your art reminds me to get to know her.
I want to share my most intense and overwhelming experience with 'the ring' as I understand it. I am from Masuria (currently Poland but not even 100 years ago it used to be part of Germany), so we have a lot of old, German graveyards here. I was 17 at the time. One night, I decided to go with my ex-best friend to one of these graveyards and drink vodka there. We got super wasted, stayed there through most of the night but when we saw the sunbeams slowly peaking through the horizon, we decided to come back home. The terrain here is super hilly I must add. As I was walking among the wheet fields, sobering up and with my headphones on, I saw one of the most breathtaking and astonishing views of my life. It may seem simple and not special at all but it captivated me for an unknown reason at that moment. Just the tip of the orange sun coming out of its hideaway behind the horizon alongside with still visible stars on the sapphire-blue sky, lighting up the fog-veiled hills and the front trees of the forest nearby. I was feeling the cold breeze on my face and the humidity in my nose as it was almost 5AM. All of this while listening to Indian Summer by Jónsi (from Sigur Rós) and Alex Somers. I just stood there almost paralized, bursting into tears of so many feelings. Sadness, calmness, acceptance, happiness, longing, beauty, finity of our lives. It just hit me that we are all limited, our lives are limited, filled with joy, grief, misunderstandings, fights, victories, failures, goodbyes and welcomes. No one will ever stay here forever, no one will stay with me forever, because the world is an everchanging place. I will experience all the amazing highs and depressing lows, I will die just like my relatives, but I just felt so peaceful about it. And as bitter-sweet as it is, I somehow accepted it all in one moment. And I stood there bawling my eyes out due to this weird feeling of coming to terms with all of this as if it was some sort of sacred knowledge. Even to this day, when I listen to this song I cry everytime and get this particular feeling, although weaker. It changed me, it was so sudden and out of place but it did really change me. I won't ever forget this beautiful sight along this incredible song.
Omg
gorgeous and visceral.... thank you so much for this
Incredible lecture, really like the concept of it, never thought of experiencing art in such way, definitely felt it, but never had the words to explained that feeling, thank you
12:20 when you talk about the rise of the soul and the divine theatre it really reminds me of Rainer Maria Rilke's First Duino Elegy that starts like:
Who, if I cried out, would hear me among the angels'
hierarchies? and even if one of them pressed me
suddenly against his heart: I would be consumed
in that overwhelming existence. For beauty is nothing
but the beginning of terror, which we still are just able to
endure,
and we are so awed because it serenely disdains
to annihilate us. Every angel is terrifying.
Love your work. Got to see you in Omaha last year and felt the crest during Gibson Girl
I was really moved as you described the divine theater as being overwhelming and terrifying, complicated. My heart aches-I always cry! I’m obsessed.
you fully explained the feeling i get when listening to ptolemaea, especially the sigh in the last "stop". even if i wouldn't describe what follows as ecstatic, the catharsis of the rest of the song does feel divine. thank you for sharing your thought processes, i find them profoundly valuable as an aspiring artist.
I feel this “pull” often. And I believe I've felt this divine theatre on occasion. I very much appreciate this level of introspection and sharing of your thoughts. Your music very much helps me and hurts me at the same time. And I definitely feel like it has shown me a way of dealing with intense melancholy. So for that, I thank you. And look forward to your next piece.
I love this about the concept of "god" - how you try to describe it around 4:32 - that when you're trying to describe divinity, words become insufficient. There are so many religious traditions that use metaphors to describe god, or terms that indicate to kind of ineffability... Divinity defies description. And sometimes the closest we can come to talking about it is talking around it. Nature often feels closest to god to me. I'm glad it did for you, too. ☺
you've explained this concept so well! this video helped me name a lot of on my own experiences, "the pull" is such a beautiful thing and even though I'm not religious at all, it does make me feel closer to god, to the universe, to everything... but I definitely feel an overwhelming amount of fear about it too, it gets too intense for me very quickly and I think that's why I never thought about this concept long enough to get it. really glad I watched this
I love your point about brushing the veil of God without totally immersing yourself with God. Such a profound statement. I love your art and your interpretation of the unknown. Thank you for this lense!
That part really got me. To me it felt like once we reach that state of BEING GOD, we won't have anything else to Life (with a capital L or God, as Ethel describes it). There is nothing to look forward to and hence, the other Rings or portals to God might destroy along with it. So, it is enough to always strive to be God but never be the Life.
This was a fantastic by Ethel.
There's something about Ethel's videos that always makes me feel like I'm at a church seminar but in a good way
ASMR
sun bleached flies is one of my rings
i have an entire playlist that describes this but i’ve never actually ever been able to put it into words. this was so beautifully said
thank you
This is the first time I hear someone articulating what has troubled me my entire life. I would very easily go into these transcendent states through music, and my isolation in teenage years left me a lot of space to do just that most of the time. Merging with music, nature, everything. Anathema's Alternative 4 and Judgement albums would do that for me in particular. And then I went out into the real world and could not come down to earth and ended up basically traumatized just by the reality of everyday life. I'm revisiting my life story now, and your video came at a profoundly right moment. i need to accept my proximity to these states and become what i wanted to, a musician
ambient music in the background i love
Hayden, I am a melomaniac and this is the most articulate and accurate explanation of how music makes me feel. I watched this 3 times in a row with tears streaming down my face. I feel such a kindred spirit in you, and through your music. House in Nebraska and God's Country are my biggest rings of yours. I feel the ring in almost every single Florence song, too. Thank you so much for this Mother. 🖤
@@colonizedgrain4034 that's a good song. Good album. But not an insult if that's how you meant it.
I am melomaniac. I have a unique relationship with music. Especially since I have end-stage Multiple Sclerosis and music is one of the few things I can focus on without feeling like my brain is on fire. In fact, there were several Ethel Cain songs on the playlist I created that played through the speakers in the operating theater while I was awake for my 9 hour craniotomy to remove a brain tumor this summer. Hopefully you or someone close to you never has to know what that's like. As for me, I'll continue listening to and making music and integral part of my life. And I hope you do as well. ✌️
You really need to learn to draw a line to not idealise music artists otherwise you end up looking like this girl commenting jesus
@@abrahamjesse3425or you could leave other people to feel however they want. And also maybe Google the word 'melomaniac'. I'm sorry you're so unfulfilled you feel the need to harass people that have a deep connection with music. Something that makes people feel deeply and motivates them, gives them hope, help them deal with whatever is going on in their lives, is not a bad thing. I hope you find something someday that makes you feel that way.
@@chaoswitchofthewyrd you are exasperating
@@abrahamjesse3425😂😂😂 English isn't your first language, is it?
I've never been able to put this into words before, but I've felt this once in my life. Earlier this year I went to a rave in Texas and experienced euphoria unlike any other. The dj started playing lil wayne and me being from Louisiana used to listen to him as a kid. Without skipping a beat I started singing all the lyrics to one of the songs while at the same time taking in every instrumental. I haven't listened to him since I was little yet knew every lyric and in that moment, surrounded by friends, I felt at peace and I mean true peace while also feeling connected to my past, present and future. Connected to my past through my favorite childhood artist, connected to the present through the movement of my body and senses, and connected to the future through my friends around me. I know this sounds silly because, it was an artist like lil wayne, but It was really beautiful.
Love this so much
It makes perfect sense, like everything was right in the world for a minute
i honestly feel like live music in general is such a ring for me, it's so powerful and beautiful to be in the same space with so many people having the same experience. i can't describe it super poetically but the connection to everyone else and feeling the music in your body as well as hearing it... what a rush! what a beautiful thing to experience!
One of my music "rings" is listening to Yes. Songs like "Close to the Edge" , "And You and I", "The Revealing Science of God", and many others. I experience the beautiful journey that you describe so well listening to Yes. I appreciate you putting it into words. I don't know that i could ever have articulated my "ring" to anyone...but now I can share this video!
Thank you.❤️
Anyone else feel like you could just fall peacefully asleep to Ethel’s voice and have the best rest of your life?
yes twinnn
Ugh, I just stumbled onto this video at 10PM on a Sunday knowing nothing about you or your music, and now it's 4AM and I have to work in the morning. You are so talented. I grew up in a Baptist home as well, going to church with my grandparents every Sunday. I feel connected to your struggle and admire your openness and self awareness. A few of my "rings" in music would be: Counting Crows - Colorblind, Tool - Parabola, A Perfect Circle - Gravity. In nature, it would be sitting on the break walls on the shore of Lake Erie, listening to the waves crashing in with the smell of the lake in the air. Looking forward to listening to more of your music. Cheers.
A James Maynard Keenan fan :)
@@PoopShitz - Very much! Ironically enough, Maynard's parents were both Southern Baptist, so it does seem to be a theme here.
No denomination s, no religion, only " the way " Jesus Christ not any divisions ( Baptist, or catholic, protestant ect ,) only a personal RELATIONSHIP with Jesus Christ, I know him through POWER in his name against shapeshifting fallen Angel's I dont care if people call me crazy , I have witnessed this . Church is where two or three beleiver s are gathered together , not any building.
Idk if I even have the words to articulate how hearing you offering this guidance thru what life can feel like, gifted me a understanding & healing. the hole, that part, it resonated so hard, the maze, how appealing it all is, for those of us attracted to the comfort of darkness, to the vast magical unknown that sparks interest when you're in the low. I just hope you know this was beautiful, and helpful. thank you for sharing your mind with us, truly. big love your way babe
I get that “pull” feeling when I listen to the end by the doors, live at the bowl. Right at 7:54, that distortion after all the build up and intensity just does something to my soul. It’s a really cool feeling, like you’re at peace for a split second in that present moment.
i have genuinely never seen creative and artistic genius to the level of this woman
I think the distinction between the Hole and the Maze, and the implications of the visualizations of those things that are conjured by the names you've given them here, is a really useful idea. I'm definitely going to be thinking more on everything you talked about, but those in particular resonated with me as things I've experienced but haven't been able to name. Naming a thing is the first step towards interacting with it on your own terms. Thank you for that ^-^
This is so accurate and makes a lot of sense, I feel in another dimension when I listen to certain songs, I love the word ring to define that fullfness. This is the first time I hear someone put words to what I've been feeling with music for yearsssss.
As someone who is schizophrenic, I feel this flexibility between the great dark, the veil, the crest, the ring, the hole and the maze. Like I'm constantly shifting between it all, sometimes with but mostly without control. Music for me, keeps me grounded. I feel like I shift into the ring and touch the veil more often than I fall into the maze. Either way, it is very hard for me to stay in the great dark.
Noone is schizophrenic... your body and mind are vehícles for spirits. Different ones inside of you. Everyone is a battlefield INSIDE
@@maricarmensandovalcapa6057stop telling schizophrenic people bullshit like this. Our brains are extremely complex, schizophrenia is an example of that.
@@maricarmensandovalcapa6057 Womp womp
@@maricarmensandovalcapa6057what a stupid thing to say. You probably think autism can be cured 🙄🙄🙄
It’s the same thing
SHE SAID IT PERFECTLY!! Wow I’ve never visualized it that way but she just articulated the exact way I feel about art and spirituality.
thank you for this, it gave me so much understanding of my own relationship to art and the way the other people in my life approach spirituality, which i really admire about them. it made me realize that my religion is actually quite healing and fulfilling for me, even if i think of myself as not religious because i practice differently. definitely going to be thinking about this for awhile. also btw your voice is so soothing :)
You put this so well, as an aspiring artist/mystic/human I've expressed this (privately) and it feels even better to hear someone else expressing something I once held so close to my heart. I forgot the whole purpose of divining such a truth was to share with others; scared of losing it, either by someone taking it or stamping on it. Forgetfulness is the condition of the great dark and we cannot (perhaps even should not) remember everything, but every day I realize that life can become the divine theater once I submit to my role in the act (the trouble is discovering what role you're playing, and for how long). So I troll through the great dark and wait for my entrance, keeping one foot in the funnel-web and one in-step, wary of the minotaur and his labyrinth. I like this world you've built, we've built. Thank you for sharing.
The fact that you were able to put this into words and show all of us this feeling that so many of us have experienced is incredible. I was just talking last week with my boyfriend how I feel like music is spiritual, and it's just incredible. You are so intuitive and it's a beautiful, beautiful thing!! I had this video saved in my watch later, hoping to be able to watch it at some point. Every time I went onto my TH-cam your video was the top one in the feed. I'm definitely here for a reason, to listen to your words. Thank you🙏
Music is very spiritual to me too, it's not just something to enjoy for pleasure, some music touches the depths of my soul...
I love the conversation around fear existing within euphoria. I think there’s so much our intelligence doesn’t know and can’t comprehend, and I feel like any time I enter the divine theater it’s a realization of how microscopic my life is while wanting to understand everything i don’t know and feeling joy in knowing I’m not in control of anything. But it’s also scary to feel SO out of control on that level.
GIRL I KNOW YOU DONT RELATE TO EREALIGEON GIRL SHUT THE HELL UP SERIOUSLY
xoxo
Tracto Rbeam
Thoroughfare gave me this feeling. I’m so thankful for your art.
this is insane- I’ve never felt more connected and understood before - genuinely to the point of thinking a certain word and Hayden says it in the next sentence. the whole autistic processing of art, I feel that. Also, the downer and enjoying that is so real. This video is amazing and I always come back to it. This resonates so deeply in my being!! Love you ❤️🔥
Experienced a ring this morning - I live in mid-Norway, and the sun is only present for a couple of hours a day in the winter. While waiting for the bus, alone, wrapped up cozily, Family Tree plays from my headphones, the sun hits my eyes... I close them and feel the moment of warmth; of dissolving into grace. "So take me down to the river... and bathe me clean"... I open my eyes, and I'm surrounded by people also waiting for the bus - when did they arrive? I don't recall this moment. I was just lost in a sigh.
‘House in Nebraska’ is for sure a ring for me, as well as your collab with Ashnikko on ‘Dying Star’… I’ve listened to your entire album and just walked in the sun, taking pictures of my serene midwestern safe spaces lol. Your music really speaks to me on this soul level, it inspires me to make my own music ✨
The first time that I listened to Adagio in G minor was one of the first times I ever felt this way. I had just smoked a bowl and had my little LEDs fading between colors. The song was nearing the crest and I could feel something more evidential of something within my body than my body itself getting sort of pulled upward. When the song reached its peak, it felt as if my body/spirit was becoming bright. My heart felt full and I felt fulfilled. I feel this way more frequently now and I've realized that it always seems to occur when I feel most connected to everything. Whether it be in deep meditation, on shrooms, or just sitting up at a mountain overlook staring into a deep golden sunset. I was never able to properly word it in a coherent way. Thanks for sharing your perspective on this!
you've just put to words something i've felt so many times 😭 you have the most beautiful mind. i love the way you think and the way you speak about your ideas. thank you so much for this video:)
i can't describe how much i loved watching this video.. i also feel that now i understand your music even better 🤍 thank you!
Thank You Hayden!!! We live in amazing times and there is a great “pull” being felt by all those who are open to it… Your music is an amazing pull for me and, you are a transcendent artist because … you feel and tap in to that indefinable part of art that draws people towards it without them fully aware of what it is that draw them…. Keep exploring all that is …and know that it is an honor for come along on the ride with you!!! Onward!!! 🙋♀️💕🌻
So thankful to have come across this and you. Your words are wise and bring great comfort
you just perfectly put into words not only my experience with ur music, but my own thoughts when processing my own relationship with god and region, as well as my experience of being extremly high on grass and suddenly having this overwhelming fear of god... like...
Some songs are just filled with so many perfect layers. Almost like the song has the perfect amount of noise, it’s jam packed with every possible sound that makes sense. It’s so beautiful it’s almost like the song is so big and heavy it just smothers you. So many Ethel Cain songs give me that feeling Family tree has an incredible build up and strangers and obviously ptolemaea. It’s seriously powerful shit
wow you’re in my head. you visualized the feeling so well. i’ve always had trouble figuring out what to picture in my head while i’m in the ring and this is it. the first time i felt the pull i wasn’t aware of what it was and its implications. only later did i start connecting the idea of the ring to the pull, and the pull to a “god.” maybe not god in the conventional sense but like as a really strong connection that is within all of us, but can only be felt consciously when it is activated by an external stimulus.
I feel that pull thru your music so often and I think you explained this amazingly. I have experienced it in other music as well as in literature and film. it’s indescribable and yet you’ve put it into words
I love this video so much, what a beautifully articulated concept. Something I've always pondered about, but you illustrating a diagram and explaining it really gave such a clear visual for me to reference. You're a very intentional person and I think that's what makes your art so special to me. You're capturing such precious things about the human experience and then being so generous and sharing them with all of us. I really appreciate you and your beautiful existence. Much love.
For me sun bleached flies is definitely a ring. It just feels so good being like a song of acceptance within the sadness. I remember that one time when I was listening to it while walking home while it was dark, windy and very rainy, I was walking over a bridge and it was such a beautiful moment
the way i've been feeling this feeling for years and now you put it into words this is another level
I have had my own specific theory that I've tried explaining to others for years and this comes the closest to my feelings I have ever heard. The section of the video where you are describing the fear at 16:07, I feel that way too and I've only recently been able to pinpoint what it is for me and I think it is a sense of loneliness, that once in the 'divine theater', you cannot share it with anyone, you experience it alone it can be isolating to experience proximity to god or something greater when you walk that journey alone and it is an immensity you cannot hold in your hands. I am watching this video in nearly in tears because I have never heard someone even come close to understanding the way I feel gravitational pulls to otherworldly feelings when I hear certain songs. I've felt this when listening to so many artists, but a good example is not only lyrically but sonically, the line "I'm not scared of god, i'm scared he was gone all along" and the final howl of "you were wrong" in Inbred bring me into the divine theater. (my version of it, anyway.) I also experienced this during Punish. I listened all night entranced and embraced in this dark surrounding me hugging tightly. You have such a beautiful and incredible mind. Watching this made me feel so much less alone. Thank you for sharing this.
I could listen to you talk for hours. It’s so calming 🤍
18:40 _The Ring resonates, The Great Dark quietens, The Hole echoes, The Maze beknights._ Reading _The Passenger_ & _Stella Maris_ with _Preacher's Daughter_ & _The Valley_ (Emma Ruth Rundle) on was perfection.
"spawned" - i think is an appropriate word you may have been searching for at the beginning. I dig your approach towards music/creative expression and mental/spiritual states. Some similitude to kabbalistic concepts in your diagrams. Also, the hole is also a ring and has a "pull". Great job in your concepts, its refreshing to see a person be so vested. Kudos as well to your vision and music - its some of the most emotionally intense music I've heard in years. Godbless ya!
This is really cool! This video made me really interested in Hayden(?) as a voice/artist
imo The great dark is our ego or sense of separateness from everything. the divine/god/connection to everythingness is always within us as well. the human condition is the contradictory state of being separate/ego & everythingness/divinity.
when you anthropomorphize our divinity or mix eternal + ego, you get permanent individual spirit- but i think that's trying to squeeze that "god"/divinity/everythingness into the ego/individuality/separateness paradigm, because we identify more as the separate part of ourselves than the connected part of ourselves.
If you look at everything on the spectrum of separateness to connectedness, you'll realize most of modern society is geared towards alienation and separateness. I really believe that's why we're all so riddled with anxiety and depressed.
Seems you understand a lot of what's really going on. May I add, the 1st cause for alienation and separateness is fear. They might argue no, it's also distaste, differing views and such. Except when digging deeper into 1st cause of those, you will almost always discover fear as the main character. The division throughout the western societies that is reaching its boiling point is mostly about fear of change. So much focus on escaping the ego now days. They mostly get it wrong. The ego can be good when fear of others is taken down and the assets of the ego or warrior is used in helping the tribe. The great warrior is found to be useless without the team. Alienation and separation is what the narcissist promote because they fear the great teams and they need others to live in the same unchanged fears.
I’ve had a very intense response to all music my whole life and you’ve exactly described what I’ve been feeling
This is so beautiful, your truly one of the most creative artists of this generation
were you born yesterday? we all know it’s Jimmy
Thank you Ethel for this wonderful insight into your creative and spiritual space - really inspirational!
Just got my wisdom teeth out and I'm watching this high as shit but there is something about you that is just so beautifully and calmingly haunting. Thank you for sharing your thoughts in videos like this because it's the closest i'll get to being able to pick your brain. Absolutely adore you and your art
This was the fist video i ever came across of yours, prior to ever listening to any of your music. I immediately thought you were very inspirational and i thought about you a lot.
I started listening to your music and couldnt really get into it at first, it took time, honestly.
Recently i heard ptolomea and ever since, i just love to hear your voice. I dont really skip any of your songs.
Ptolomea is a dark ring. Its honestly one of the most perfect pieces of art ive ever experienced, it is just absolutely on every conceivable level-pure perfection. Not a single thing i dont like about it. I like knowing my pain is your pain, i dont really care if that makes me sound like a bad person. Its nice to have you here, its a relief. You're pretty much like a soulmate to me even if i go through this life never meeting you. I just wanted to tell you, that im really glad you create and express yourself the way you do. Its incredible, there are not words to describe how beautiful it is.
This is truly one of the best videos I've ever seen and one of the most fascinating concepts I've ever learned about. The way The Ring really doubles as music theory and spirituality is so beautiful. The Pull is something I feel when I play my violin or that certain song plays that just makes me transcend a little lol. Thank you for creating and sharing this incredible concept that puts a name to a feeling so precious. I've so fallen in love with your music and artistry
Lmfao
you truly put into words the pure, simple joy of feeling alive with a medium that feels so otherworldly yet human. i feel this so deeply about many songs including a lot of yours. songs no matter how many times i listen to them i get a huge lump in my throat and want to cry, not from sadness but because of how beautiful they are. it’s a sensory experience from something that doesn’t physically touch me.
it’s a religious experience.
You’re music touches me in a place that music hasn’t reached in years. You make me feel the way I felt when I first discovered evanescence as a queer little boy, not understanding or being able to verbalise why I felt so different, but through the music being able to connect to the feelings in the most visceral way. That’s what I feel hearing your music. I forgot what that felt like. It hurts and also feels liberating. You’re my ring and your my sigh and I’m so grateful for you art. I’m from South Africa but on top of my list for 2024 is to travel purely to see you live. Thank you for the music
the concept is very interesting and the end made me giggle because i visualize my mental space as a maze lol, got into your music over the past few weeks and now i couldn't be more excited to see where things go, wish you the best!!
I'm so glad that one of the first ring you mentioned was with Grandloves. I have personally had ecstatic experiences around the ages of 14-16 with that particular song. I am also autistic.
This year I found out I was autistic. I am 38 of always gotten that feeling from Music but when I told other people they didn’t understand you putting it in the words like you did make me feel seen thank you and I love your music.