Wow the desperation is real, I have had this and it has been distracting everywhere, is my husband at work, at church or even the mailman lol even anxiety dreams on being single and seeing others who have partners … today was about to go to the dating apps…. But It is what she said let God take the lead better to trust God than go several steps back
I don’t think it’s right but I think the reason it’s “idolized” is because like you said the reasons from the Bible, like 95%+ of people CAN NOT stay with their sexual passion and be single, so then that becomes the standard by default and everyone assumes that others too can not be celibate as well and encourages marriage for everyone basically. Great topic I learned a lot!
Good point. I would add that many worldly tropes have been adopted into the Church under the guise of tradition and culture. Things like “men NEED sex” “women are ONLY fulfilled when they become a wife or have children” “Women shouldn’t desire anything outside of their husbands and children” “Something is wrong if you don’t have a husband by a certain age” “No one should be alone” “You can’t enter heaven without a man” So much trash advice from the pulpit! Causing confusion.
Why do so many people dream about being married only to quickly be the first to want divorce? and it’s especially rampant in the church sad times! Discernment is needed for real!
I always stuck by Paul's message, that marriage is a beautiful thing, but it's not for everyone. I don't believe in soul mates or God choosing someone for one, I believe God gave everyone the freewill to choose and he helps bring about suitable mates. I am a strong advocate for seeking discernment and learning or adopting good vetting skills, vetting a man properly and thoroughly is wisdom. I also believe in being intentional by preparing oneself to be a wife, before praying for a future marriage.
As a Man....Just the title alone made me realize thats petty much how i was raised to feel. Everyone wont get married and it is better to focus on Jesus Christ more. Pray for me it aint easy.
amen brother I on the walk with christ to lately I just been following YAH more and more and I stopped idolising marriage a much a is used to and I got happiness now I just wanna follow Yahuah will for my wife whoever he wants me to get married to I'll marry the person in Yahusha name amen
Wow sis I needed this, as someone who gave up idolizing marriage in November at 29! I’ve waited over 11 years now and it is hard but my relationship with God is more important! Thanks so much for sharing sis, amen! 🙌🏾
I was idolizing marriage for the wrong reasons to be honest. I wanted financial stability and a friend to spend my life with. I was engaged twice to two men who were not in alignment with God’s will for my life. I moved to another state, I am financially stable on my own, and I am working on building friendships in my new city. It’s funny because God showed me that I can have the things I desire from marriage - without marriage. This message was spot on for me!
Sounds good! But when God brought you the right person, at a very young age, and when that person is your best friend, your biggest fan, the person who's loved you the most, respected and valued you more than your own family, and wishes the best for you, you don't see marriage as "extra happiness" but as the best thing that could happen to you on this earthly life... Maybe we should keep in mind that Paul seemed to have expressed his own thoughts, in that passage. Originally, God created Eve for Adam, and wanted them to live together as a couple. So, I guess it's a blessing from God to desire to get married, and then to live a happy successfull life together.
I am dating a man who I believe will be my husband. We have been together for 3 years and how we met was God. (we both had prayed before we met each other and put our marriage relationship in Gods hands. I did not want to date another person unless God said we would work as a marriage and he could be my husband) In the last year I have had multiple moments where I have been so eager to get engaged and then married but financially we are not there. My attraction to him is also very strong which makes me want to get married so I don't/ stop sining. We started reading a chapter of proverbs every night and putting God first. We are long distance so I said lets challenge ourselves to have the most Godly time when we are together. So far I feel great. But still have the itch inside me.
A flawless marriage or relationship doesn't exist. There's no universal recipe for success in these matters. What suits Adam may not suit Peter. Nonetheless, I discovered that every problem has a solution. Five years ago, my wife and I faced the possibility of divorce due to marital challenges, but we reconciled
Your insights resonate deeply with me, and I sincerely wish my sentiments mirror yours. Despite our present distance, I cannot envision my existence without her; my affection for her knows no bounds. I ache to reunite with her, and I'm prepared to go to great lengths to achieve that. We've delved into numerous paths, including therapy, in our quest for reconciliation
Saying goodbye to someone you cherish is consistently difficult, yet in my case, I received support from a spiritual advisor who kept my marriage intact. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I value this advice. I'll promptly look her up online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that following this path will bring about positive outcomes for me too; I long for her deeply
Sis, this is exactly what has happened to me. I was idolising mariage so much, every time looking around for who could potentially "be the one", glory be to God He has ripped that off of me. The freedom and relieve of stress is immense!
@@Nomelis God is able, just keep on relying on Jesus. Let the Holy Spirit lead you, surrender your heart, all areas and let Jesus transform it all. Stay strong, persevere Sister. May God's strength rest upon you.
There’s so much freedom in not idolizing marriage. Matthew 6:33 tells us to seek first the KINGDOM not marriage. This is so refreshing to hear another young lady that GETS it! A lot of our Christian practices and beliefs are born out of tradition and culture as oppose to biblical truth. I wish more would overstand this. Marriage is NOT promised nor commanded. Yet we’re taught otherwise.
I had to stop idolizing Marriage when I saw there was no shortage of “lazy predatory men.” The same men that try to coax women into believing we’d be better off miserable and depressed and taking care of HIM was the end all be all.
All of this was on point! For me, for the longest time I idolized marriage and was so focused on being married. Once I stopped and truly let that go and focused on Jesus and who he is in my life, that's when my now husband came into my life 🤍. I really put it in God's hands instead of my own 🙌🏼 Trying to do it my way and idolize it got me nowhere. This was really good!
It's really weird when women say this "when I stopped worrying about it, my husband appeared". It feels a lil like bragging because these women never give actionable steps as to how you can distract yourself from thinking about finding a husband. And please don't say hobbies, I have a ton of hobbies. I'm 31 and have spent my whole life developing myself.
@@aquaabundance4077 I get where you’re coming from 💯 Honestly, the thoughts about being married don’t just disappear, even when you decide to not focus on it. For me, I would shed tears and get frustrated a lot.. But I remember one evening I was praying and I asked God to help me with my emotions. It didn’t mean that the thought of marriage wasn’t there, but no longer did I want to be consumed by the thought of it. So I journaled my desires, created a vision board of things I wanted to do for me in life, and got connected with other people at my church. I also read good books, including ones about being a Proverbs 31 woman. This really helped to focus on me and my relationship with God more, instead of me idolizing being married.
Same here. I had a date recently, on our 2nd date he wanted to jump in bed. I said no. He said "I can't imagine how many good men you pushed away with this thinking" I've never idolized marriage but now in my 30s peoples opinion has def gotten to me.
He may think think he is a good man, but what he is not is a godly man. And he is good by society standard not by Gods, so you actually didn’t ever push away any good men by standing on Kingdom business!
I used to see marriage as a fairy tale story book but now I realize the truth of marriage . I don’t feel bad when a guy doesn’t want to marry me anymore because I know I’ll have a lot to lose if he does 😅
“Whatever you do outside the will of God with your own strength, you will be keeping that situation with your own strength for the rest of your life” 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Eighteen year old me thought I’d be married by now. Here I am, 25 years old (single) & This video is the truth…please take heed to this. I learned the hard way about idolizing marriage when I got my heart broken. So devastating…still dealing with the pain of it & I’m still in tears about it all but the Lord is so merciful & loving..❤ It’s drawn me close to Yahweh again. Also please don’t follow the “follow your heart” saying. It’s actually the worst thing you can do, instead follow God & allow Him to guide you. I’m still dealing with hope deferred when it comes to the idea of marriage & I’ve surrendered my desire for it..I have peace knowing that I may never get married & that’s okay because if I have God, I have everything. God bless you & thank you so much for this word.❤️
I want God's will. If He wants me to be single, I will be single. If he wants me married, then it is so. I have chased the opposite sex throughout my 20s and 30s. Now, all I want is Jesus. People are making businesses out of people's idolatry of marriage. Do you know even why you are here? What is your purpose? According to Matthew 25, the Lord is not going to be too happy when you have not exercised your gifts and talents. It's like looking for something tangible as if God is not enough.
This is so so good and healing! So happy I clicked on this video. Sometimes when the church speaks about marriage it actually fuels my obsession with men and seeking vaildation. Marriage really is put on a pedestal. God has been healing me from seeking attention from men and taking me through a whole process. It got so bad I felt like my body wasn’t my own anymore, everything was centered around a man, even the topic of modesty. This is really healing my heart and delivering me from attention seeking and focusing on God and getting that fulfillment in God alone!
marriage & all things related has NEVER been broken down to this degree to me, not even in the church. when i tell you the message was crystal clear, i mean it. such revelations! thank you for obeying God by recording this video & uploading it. THIS is His will. job well done. safe to say, i’m finally headed in the right direction to being free. because as a woman in her 30s, the desire for marriage had been “tann” me up!!! i can feel a shift happening now though, simply because i understand things better now. again, i thank the God in you.
This video was so needed for me. I’ve been idolizing marriage like crazy and I didn’t even realize how bad it was until you gave examples of things you did and I’m like WOW. I do desire marriage and that lifelong union with someone but I also understand that God is not evil. And won’t give me these desires to leave them unfulfilled. From now on, I want to live in God’s will. It’s so freeing to not obsess over every black man that crosses my path and wondering if he’s my husband😂. Thank you for this video. I will be back to rewatch.
This message is right on time. I’ve known since the age of 12 that I didn’t want children and I could go years without dating. I was an extremely late bloomer to sex and find that it just isn’t important to me. If I never had sex again in my life I would be just fine. I always thought there was something wrong with me but you explaining that as a gift really blew my mind. Thank you❤
Well said. I believe it should also be noted too for us women followers of Christ that we are not to be searching for a husband. As scripture notes from Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.” The wife is to be discovered by the husband.
I gotta be the one lol 🤭 I pursued my husband initially, he reciprocated and led from there on. He leads us both through the Most High and has brought me closer to Him & scripture. Great points though!
That’s part of her point! It’s unique and personal. I love hearing/seeing different perspectives and knowing there isn’t only one way and if it doesn’t happen we are still ok!
I got saved after I had my daughter. I just realized I was idolizing marriage to my bf because I want a family. We have been abstinent for a bout 2 years since I got saved. But as soon as I brought up marriage it’s like our relationship has been going down hill. I can’t imagine my daughter growing up in a broken home like I did. I know that God has forgiven me for my sins, but I can seem to forgive myself for bringing her into this world into a broken home. So I think in that unforgivness for myself, I tried to push marriage to make it right and I realize now that that was not the way to go. I don’t want to be in a co parent situation, but God comes first now and I’m really having trouble letting go of the relationship with my bf. Please pray for me in this time of transition.
Some of the nuggets are good because they are backed by the Word. However, i think we need to be more careful with how we relay messages because God is an intimate God with relationship with each individual. The way He guides us and leads us differs but we can check the leading with the Word always. Why i say this is because i have seen in the Word that God is consistent and paradoxically can’t be put in a box. He is the same always but relates with each of us differently. Case in point is when Naomi told Ruth to position herself. Probably because Boaz would not have pursued her had she not positioned herself. He did spot her in the field but it is not until Namoi’s advice that he pursued her. When we speak in public platforms we need to speak from a place of grace, mercy (Jude 1:22) and self awareness, tell our testimony and let the Holy Spirit speak beyond our language
Girl when I say these people should feel free after this message. God spoke to you and spoke to me in this message and gave me clarity! I am so grateful and excited that his truth came out in this message and so many people get to witness it! God I pray that whoever you have the gift of marriage for that you reveal it to them and whoever you have the gift of celibacy for that you reveal it to them. Father I ask with pure intentions that you reveal your will to us and reveal your way of doing things to us! God I ask that you remove all desires in our hearts that are not in alignment with your will for our lives! God I ask that you purify all of our desires, intentions, thoughts and plans in our hearts that are according to your will for our lives. God may you give us the strength, endurance, confidence, favor, wisdom and understanding to walk this faith walk out obediently and according to your word so that we may hear you say, "Well done, thy good and faithful servant" ! Lord I thank you in advance by faith that these things are done and all things are well. In Jesus name Amen!💜🙏🏾
thank you for sharing your experience. God delivered me from the same. married someone despite what i felt the Lord tell me, out of desperation and “trying to do the right thing” in not being sexually active before marriage - the absolute worst person for me. destroyed and uprooted my entire life. my physical health. thankfully now divorced and recovering but it has been HARD. so hard. but God is working and i realize that that’s why i couldn’t let go when God told me to. because i was putting a relationship and marriage above God. as a young girl, they start to implant that into your brain and the devil used that and ran with it for me. i wasn’t spiritually mature enough to see it and obey God in faith. and it has severely set me back.
Man I’m currently stuck in this void right now. Still believing in a fantasy that god has repeatedly told me that it isn’t for me. Why I can’t separate or let go especially when I blatantly see the person I’m with is no match for my worth and continue to tear it down when it deems fit for them. Listening to your story and how your saying you have been severely set back scares me. I don’t want time to keep going for something I’m hopelessly fighting for. God bless you thank you for sharing I needed this ❤
I’d been scrolling through these comments trying to see if maybe someone was in my similar situation. Thank you for sharing. I’m currently married but on the brink of divorce. My husband betrayed me but even then I’d been trying so hard to make this work and trying to control this myself instead of leaving it in God’s hands and will. I feel like I’ve been idolizing this marriage. I had so many dreams that I’d thought we would accomplish together, never thought I’d be in this situation. But this video helped me realize I need to trust God’s plan more than my own ❤️🩹
God does show women who their husband is because he doesn’t want them to not know and marry who God didn’t ordained them to marry. If he can show the man who is wife is He can show the woman who her husband is. The only difference is the woman must keep it to herself and wait until the man approaches her because he has to find her. God will place her in his path to be found. There’s testimony on TH-cam about this. God showed a woman who her husband is and told her not to tell no one not even the pastor. 2 years later the man approaches her. So you limited God when you said God didn’t show the woman that the man is her husband. God knows men lie and said God said you are my wife when God didn’t say that, so He lets us women know who our husband is and who isn’t our husband.🙏🏾💍❤️
Im only a few minutes in and sis, I feel so convicted of idolizing marriage. Lord help me. I’ve been praying about this the last few days. Also @amani, I would love to hang out with you girl! I live in Atlanta and need some Godly friends
I was idolizing relationship/marriage. Seeking those things instead of God, but no more. I surrender to God and allowing his will for my life. I want to continue to strength my faith, and walk with God. Because I’m single not lonely. With God, family,and friends I could never be lonely. Being single is the most important season/time in our lives. I learned to embrace it. Plus I get to know myself better, and prepare to be a wife. Preparing to be the person God called me to be ,and walking in the image of Christ.
Love this so much ❤. Please keep speaking on the truth of the Lord. Amen to you my sis in Christ. Now I wouldn’t say that we have “soulmates” perhaps ordained spouse, but you have to understand this God has already planned our lives out way before we were even thought of by our parents before we were in the womb. Jeremiah 29:11 (as we all know) and Psalms 139:16-17… save time on writing I won’t put it here but basically the Lord has already written our lives out and it’s up to us to follow that and sadly some people don’t because we do have freewill. So this tells us that while God formed you he had your husband in mind too. He knows who you were or going to be with in the future. And this also goes for any relationship you form or people you connect with. Everything we do isn’t about us. When God tells us to do something or go somewhere you ever notice that someone else is blessed because of your obedience or vise versa. Both you were on the Lords appointed time/ ordained time. As you read your word you see that our Lord is in the details and very precise. Jesus didn’t just say “Oh let me find your husband today” 😂 NO! He has already been created and design for your life specifically. Hopefully I made sense to you all. Edit: yes you don’t have to find your husband because when you are living on the Lords plan and walking that life with Him you are already in alignment so eventually you are going to bump right into that man He had for you the whole time. AMEN AMEN HALLELUJAH!!! So yep I agreee I don’t listen to how to find a man only thing we need to do is how to prepare to be a wife that’s it 😂
I needed to hear this i have been losing my mind over my boyfriend when he doesn't give me attention, creating dating apps, looking for men. and still felt empty it's time to really submit to god
😮💨 this was very much needed. I’ve watched a few videos on this topic but this is by far the best. I’ve definitely been living in desperation and idolising marriage/family and although I realised this, I didn’t know what to do about it. Thank you so much for this. Also, love your hair and that red on you.
This was a right on time word! 21:04 thank you for talking about the epidemic that is going on in black communities where black men are withholding marriage and black women are left to desperately pine after unworthy suitors in order to achieve their dreams. It’s sad. I’ve seen some plain old settling in recent years that is the true definition of the danger of desperation.
I watched this before bed last night but had to come back to it this morning! You have truly opened my eyes. I have filled my bible with so many notes. God bless you for dropping gem after gem. ❤
Gurlll, you just gained a loyal subscriber, because this is wisdom. The spirit of God has been putting this in my heart and I didn't know what the problem was until someone said, "I WANT TO STOP IDOLIZING MARRIAGE" and then your video popped first
I think you need to remember that Paul was giving the advice to not marry under a specific context. Marriage is something that's very important, especially for God. There are people in this world who need spouses for their ministries to be established. There are several examples of this in the Bible, including Abraham. God provides marriages for people based on what He designed for their destiny. The main purpose of a biblical marriage is to grow into Christ. It's not this shameful thing that you just do because you don't have a 'gift'. I agree that you should not idolize marriage, but marriages are very important to God. Paul was talking to a sexual immoral church, and he was not speaking generally. Marriages are a version of the relationship we have in Christ, and God uses them to disciple us and make us able ministers. It is not something you shun because God prefers you to be single. Make sure you read the Bible in context, especially about marriage. If not, you'll find yourself contradicting yourself. God DID say that it is not good for man to be alone, and you shouldn't have discarded that scripture to take another one out of context. Read everything fully. I agree with your overall message, though. God bless.
God was referring to Adam when he talked about being alone on Earth so that is also a different context? God said alone as in without a friend or other person, not as in married.
The Bible was written so men can become better human beings. You’re sent to earth to elevate your consciousness, the Bible is a guide in how to do that. Women in large don’t have to be taught to be good human beings, we are love in human form. It’s easy for a woman to truly love and care for others. It’s hard for men to do the same because it’s seen as “weak” to other men. Your egos get in the way of true love.
I read through the entire book of 1 Corinthians so I know the context. I’m reading through the entire New Testament right now and I know sexual immorality was something their congregation was struggling with, but even in that context, if they were struggling so hard with it Paul would have told all of them to get married then. Even to a corrupt church he gave the advice to serve God before you give yourself to marriage. I think that’s all the context we need.
I said Adam though, and also if God was just referring to a friend, He would’ve made another man. He made a woman specifically for a reason. And I acknowledged I took that story for my own purpose already.
Not everyone is meant for marriage but for those who aren’t God has something even more wonderful planned for you. It’s hard to accept but I’m certain. Even the Bible says those who remain unmarried are more blessed. I sure do wish I had someone to turn to tho for car issues and home repairs but oh well
I need to stop idolizing marriage. Thank you for this video. You are so strong I honestly don’t know how single Christian women do it. It’s beautiful. I’m gonna be vulnerable but with the way my life has been since a young age I burn for desire and passion so much. Being celibate has been the hardest thing for me. I crave a husband and a head of me to lead me and tell me what to do in my life. But I know God is the priority. I have to focus on him.
Only God completes us satisfies us makes us whole relationship with Him is Most Important and He always knows and wants what is best 😊❤ and we never have to be lonely or alone because God is always with us 😊❤❤ Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
What if you have a desire to get married? And you’re not at peace will being single? I thought when it’s God’s will, you’ll know by the peace you feel. Some ppl don’t desire marriage. Tbh, marriage is the hardest in the black community. I don’t see this in the Asian, Hispanic or white community. Have the lowest probability to get married and then the highest divorce rates ugh frustrating.
Have not watched just yet but the title is what made me click. What determines the difference between idolizing or just having a natural desire for? For me, I know that the Bible says it’s not good for man to be alone. That Adam needed a help mate. The Bible says that two is better than one, and it is better to marry than to burn with passion. Those scriptures just off the top of my head tells me that marriage is a good thing! That said, I believe that marriage can definitely be idolized! If it takes up most of your time, if you’re putting yourself and others into compromising positions to get to that goal of marriage, if you’re settling for the person that’s taking you away from God, etc. but the persons who have a genuine desire for marriage just like you would have for perhaps a new car or to be able to afford healthier groceries or a healthier lifestyle, I don’t think that’s particularly a bad thing, in fact, it’s taken a lot of us a long time to get to a place where we recognize that we desire a life partner. I think it’s important to know yourself and what you truly want in order to receive that. I know people who say I’ll never marry again and that has been their reality. I know people who complain about there being no good men and that’s all they tend to attract or allow into their lives. I think having a HEALTHY desire for the life partner is okay. God saw that Adam was lonely and wanted someone and so it was done for him. I think the best things we can do as singles is enrich our own lives and get ready as much as possible whilst not idolizing. I do believe that the enemy is against kingdom marriage. Why wouldn’t he attack that? So we should continue to pray and fast if lead to and have faith with our works if we are to win the battle!
According to scripture woman are supposed to OBEY their husbands. You better choose right or you will be blamed for choosing wrong if the man abuses you or cheats or is a lousy husband.
This is so good! I needed this message as a woman in her late 20s who desires marriage but I should not idolize it. God will reveal to my husband that I am his wife and it is not my responsibility to seek him out 👏🏽
As a man I believe that the 3 most important decisions you can make is 1. Choose a master ( your God) 2. Choose your mate 3. Choose your purpose We are not meant to be alone in this world. We are meant to be married, have children and serve our community through the gifts God has given us. A man doesn’t know everything and neither does a woman. You get married to have someone to balance your thinking and most importantly display Godly love and to have children to expand God’s kingdom. We need more Godly people to bring more people to the Lord. Love the video sister in Christ…keep them coming
Wow AMEN! I was just praying about this. God is so good and he’s everything I need! Beautiful to see you standing on his WORD. Yes Lord! We need more young people being an example of Christ according to his will and not our own Thank you Lord ❤️🙏🏼
Isaiah 54:5 says my Creator is you husband. The Lord of heavens army is his name. The word of God keeps me as a single woman and is breakin the idiolizing marriage i felt i had. God is workin. Only your will for me God!
No… God specifically told me who my husband is that’s not true. Now I think you should keep that to yourself until He reveals that to your partner 😂. Yes that was me 😂. But when the Lord has something for you it’s not going to mess up. I did that but it didn’t backfire for me because it was and is always meant to be. I had a lot of confirmation before I said OK! I get it LORD that’s my husband. 😂 God tells you things concerning YOU! A dream, a vision, an audible voice and though someone you know and trust. I’m going to have to debunk that statement for my personally experience and soooo many others that has their testimony right here on TH-cam. Jesus will not leave you in the dark. He isn’t just going to tell your future husband who you are without telling you. So when a man comes up to you and say “God told me your my wife” and God hasn’t confirm that with you then that’s not your husband. Also your husband at the time may not even hear God as good as you do and your more devout and he is still out in the world so God would definitely tell you because the man right now can’t hear Him. 😂 I’m sorry cause I feel like I’m just going against certain things you are saying but I’m not I’m Just giving wise counsel especially because someone May second guess what God told them and know to be true because of what you just said. ❤❤
@@Twalzz Yes I would love to share. You want to know how the Lord confirm to me about my future husband? For me it was dreams and Him speaking to me in my mind. If you knew the whole story 😂 I kept denying that the guy (my spouse) that God told me that was my husband was really what the Lord said, because that man was doing his own thing. I don’t want to give too many details because honestly as we know the spiritual realm is very real and there are monitoring spirits. TRUST ME! But God constantly kept telling me to pray for him and everything I prayed over that man it came true.
@@bjoneswhite306 Wow that's so encouraging. For me it was through a video I watched here on TH-cam which described him exactly as he was and exactly what I was going through. Wen I started doubting, I prayed for confirmation and another video popped up which was super confirming! I freaked out both times and especially because I'm baptist, it's hard for us to believe extra-biblical revelations. I also relate to denial and him doing his own thing (cause he's in another city for school and I'm home on break from studies) and also the part where I feel like I've messed up (I told him I liked someone but didn't tell him it was him) so it's comforting to know that other people go through this 😅 Im also starting to think that one of the reasons God tells the woman first is so that she can get ready. All in all thanks for sharing your story and I totally understand that you couldn't go into details. Hope you have a wonderful and incredibly blissful union!
@@Twalzz YES! Amen love this for you. I’m still going through my process with my future spouse the chapter is actually almost closing 😭🙏🏿👏🏾. It’s going to be a lot spiritual warfare but be strong and trust in the Lords word. I know that you said that you are Baptist or go to a Baptist Church one thing I realize as I walk with the Lord, I don’t put myself in a religion category, especially ones that quenches the Holy Spirit which makes Him sad. Yes the Holy Spirit has feelings and we can see that in the word. So what I’m saying don’t let that baptism background you have to box God in and let Him show you who He really is, which I see you are. A lot of people unfortunately Christian ppl are going to think you’re crazy because they lack belief and miracles. The same God in the Bible is the same God today. He is still a miracle worker. AMEN 🙏🏿
@@bjoneswhite306 Amen! Thank you so much for your insights. Indeed, we really cannot confine God to what we think He should be like. And yeah the spiritual warfare is real! Especially were sexual purity is concerned. And just trusting God in general. I'm happy to hear your chapter is almost closing 😊
Hey Sis, do you happen to know that Ruth is the one who proposed to Boaz? Do you also know that Adam never went to look for Eve? 😊 Think about it 😉 Be blessed 🙏
Marriage is not the default. I never read it like that. I am interested to finish this video and see what else you say. Because I also read Adam and Eve and being in a relationship and not alone is good. But I do understand the getting married so what you do is not a sin. But man the thought of not getting married.... I almost can't fathom it.
This just shames people who want marriage in fear that they can’t serve god in the way he deserves to be worshipped. It’s like saying if you’re so desperate for sex then get married when in truth Corinthians should be interpreted as IF you get married because marriage is just as much a gift from god as being single you must serve god the same as you would if you were single
🔥 message! I am led by the Lord to put this in your comment section, because people will take literal what you said regarding not making a first move towards your (God ordained Husband) We have to remember to never place God in a box on how he does things. If the Lord leads you to reach out to a person first please be obedient. No where in scripture says that a woman shouldn’t approach a man first. Again, this is at the Lord’s leading regarding the marriage he has for you. Not everyone marriage story will be linear.
Truth, truth, truth, you speak nothing but the truth. Thank you so much for this, I know I will come back to this in future because it really lifts the fog in my mind and makes it all so crystal clear. God know best, that's all that matters in this universe.
God ordained marriage as in “called” individuals to the role in his order. She said countless times in the video that this is an institution created by God. We don’t idolize the created thing. We treasure Jesus and seek the kingdom of God first. We are commanded to love the Lord our God with all our being and to create disciples In the Earth. We can obtain salvation without marriage. God never commanded every person to marry nor did God promise Marriage to everyone. To believe so is making an idol out of marriage. Maybe you should take time to reevaluate your beliefs and teachings about marriage because a lot of worldly advice has crept into the Church and been taught from the pulpit as biblical truth but in reality it’s always been culture and tradition that took over.
@Nitra813 I don't think anybody thinks our salvation is obtained by marraige. God's will is still marraige if you desire procreation in the earth not fornication. That's my point
@@bpraise517oh dear you’d be surprised at what men and women are being taught and believe from the pulpit. It’s ridiculous. Especially pastors wives and kids. Surely marriage has its place but it is not what every Christian is called to. Also not every married couple gets married to have children or procreate. At least not right away. There needs to be a video about idolizing parenthood as well. I’ve been told these very things
@Nitra813 I feel like we might be using the word "idolize" too loosely. Making .marraige or parenthood a goal or a desire is not idolizing it's just a GOAL. But to lift it as MERIT with God is an error in application. There are biblical benefits from God in marraige & parenthood just as it is in singleness. I believe there are those that desire marraige but feel like it's not happening for them due to age or time (whatever the reason) can develop a negative opinion or ideology about marraige to cope with their current or past situation. (I see that trend in social media alot)..BTW I don't think marraige is a CALLING either.
I don’t know if I agree with everything she said for example in the Bible Ruth slept at the feet of Boaz. Yet sis is saying as a woman we shouldn’t “put ourselves out there.” My understanding could be wrong so please, if so, clarify 🙏🏽🤍
OH. MY. GOSH. You are PREAAAACHING!!!! Thank you for being obedient to God and speaking on this topic because, phewwww gurrrrl, SO many points were made😮💨
Always wanted to be married. Even got hit with the spirit of fantasy all my life to desk with the constant rejection from men. Single and alone in my 30s with 2 kids and no options in sight and getting desperate. I hate being single and alone i despair of life. Just impatiently waiting for the rapture so this devastating loneliness can be over
The change is refreshing. To see God re-grab his children from the world. I've watched you before and I'll watch you now. You've always had His wisdom even though you fought against it. 🖤🖤 He was leading you to minister to young women. 🙏🏿
Paul is my favorite writer !!! I also think 1 Corinthians changed my life. That’s when I got SERIOUS about reading the Bible ! I just finished reading Hebrews as well. Extremely good book !
“So desperate for a husband that you will desperate yourself out of Gods will” 👏🏾 👏🏾👏🏾!!!!
That was me!!
Wow the desperation is real, I have had this and it has been distracting everywhere, is my husband at work, at church or even the mailman lol even anxiety dreams on being single and seeing others who have partners … today was about to go to the dating apps…. But It is what she said let God take the lead better to trust God than go several steps back
I don’t think it’s right but I think the reason it’s “idolized” is because like you said the reasons from the Bible, like 95%+ of people CAN NOT stay with their sexual passion and be single, so then that becomes the standard by default and everyone assumes that others too can not be celibate as well and encourages marriage for everyone basically. Great topic I learned a lot!
Good point. I would add that many worldly tropes have been adopted into the Church under the guise of tradition and culture.
Things like “men NEED sex”
“women are ONLY fulfilled when they become a wife or have children”
“Women shouldn’t desire anything outside of their husbands and children”
“Something is wrong if you don’t have a husband by a certain age”
“No one should be alone”
“You can’t enter heaven without a man”
So much trash advice from the pulpit! Causing confusion.
Why do so many people dream about being married only to quickly be the first to want divorce? and it’s especially rampant in the church sad times! Discernment is needed for real!
This is so good!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Enjoyed this ❤❤
Amen Amen 🙏💖
I always stuck by Paul's message, that marriage is a beautiful thing, but it's not for everyone. I don't believe in soul mates or God choosing someone for one, I believe God gave everyone the freewill to choose and he helps bring about suitable mates. I am a strong advocate for seeking discernment and learning or adopting good vetting skills, vetting a man properly and thoroughly is wisdom. I also believe in being intentional by preparing oneself to be a wife, before praying for a future marriage.
Thank you! This blessed me so much.
correct
I will recommend you read the book “God is a match maker “ it changed my perspective on this, using scriptures of course.
As a Man....Just the title alone made me realize thats petty much how i was raised to feel. Everyone wont get married and it is better to focus on Jesus Christ more.
Pray for me it aint easy.
amen brother I on the walk with christ to lately I just been following YAH more and more and I stopped idolising marriage a much a is used to and I got happiness now I just wanna follow Yahuah will for my wife whoever he wants me to get married to I'll marry the person in Yahusha name amen
God bless you brother!
Thanks for sharing!! This is exactly where I’m at with it all in reference to marriage!
Wow sis I needed this, as someone who gave up idolizing marriage in November at 29! I’ve waited over 11 years now and it is hard but my relationship with God is more important! Thanks so much for sharing sis, amen! 🙌🏾
You're beautiful! I'm sure your wait will be over soon!
@@mirianalajtman7728 you’re so kind thank you!
@@MrTwonetwoneliving for God for 11 years and not focusing on being married is the furtherest from desperate as it can get.
@@MrTwonetwonewaiting as in abstaining from sex until marriage. The complete opposite of desperate.
It’s not a relationship with God. No where in the Bible do see the word “ relationship “. It’s your Walk with God.
I was idolizing marriage for the wrong reasons to be honest. I wanted financial stability and a friend to spend my life with. I was engaged twice to two men who were not in alignment with God’s will for my life. I moved to another state, I am financially stable on my own, and I am working on building friendships in my new city. It’s funny because God showed me that I can have the things I desire from marriage - without marriage. This message was spot on for me!
Sounds good! But when God brought you the right person, at a very young age, and when that person is your best friend, your biggest fan, the person who's loved you the most, respected and valued you more than your own family, and wishes the best for you, you don't see marriage as "extra happiness" but as the best thing that could happen to you on this earthly life... Maybe we should keep in mind that Paul seemed to have expressed his own thoughts, in that passage. Originally, God created Eve for Adam, and wanted them to live together as a couple. So, I guess it's a blessing from God to desire to get married, and then to live a happy successfull life together.
There's nothing wrong with wanting friendship and financial stability, through marriage. Anyone who says otherwise is odd.
I am dating a man who I believe will be my husband. We have been together for 3 years and how we met was God. (we both had prayed before we met each other and put our marriage relationship in Gods hands. I did not want to date another person unless God said we would work as a marriage and he could be my husband) In the last year I have had multiple moments where I have been so eager to get engaged and then married but financially we are not there. My attraction to him is also very strong which makes me want to get married so I don't/ stop sining.
We started reading a chapter of proverbs every night and putting God first. We are long distance so I said lets challenge ourselves to have the most Godly time when we are together. So far I feel great. But still have the itch inside me.
A flawless marriage or relationship doesn't exist. There's no universal recipe for success in these matters. What suits Adam may not suit Peter. Nonetheless, I discovered that every problem has a solution. Five years ago, my wife and I faced the possibility of divorce due to marital challenges, but we reconciled
Your insights resonate deeply with me, and I sincerely wish my sentiments mirror yours. Despite our present distance, I cannot envision my existence without her; my affection for her knows no bounds. I ache to reunite with her, and I'm prepared to go to great lengths to achieve that. We've delved into numerous paths, including therapy, in our quest for reconciliation
Saying goodbye to someone you cherish is consistently difficult, yet in my case, I received support from a spiritual advisor who kept my marriage intact. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I value this advice. I'll promptly look her up online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that following this path will bring about positive outcomes for me too; I long for her deeply
You are Welcome
True but just like diets, some things work considerably better than others! You shouldn't idolize anything. Be pragmatic, and fluid
Sis, this is exactly what has happened to me. I was idolising mariage so much, every time looking around for who could potentially "be the one", glory be to God He has ripped that off of me. The freedom and relieve of stress is immense!
I’m 33 I’m struggling but I need to shift my mind set and focus on God and myself
@@Nomelis God is able, just keep on relying on Jesus.
Let the Holy Spirit lead you, surrender your heart, all areas and let Jesus transform it all.
Stay strong, persevere Sister.
May God's strength rest upon you.
I desire marriage but I want to stop idolizing marriage so much to the point I live outside of God’s will! I needed this!🙏🏾🙏🏾
There’s so much freedom in not idolizing marriage.
Matthew 6:33 tells us to seek first the KINGDOM not marriage.
This is so refreshing to hear another young lady that GETS it!
A lot of our Christian practices and beliefs are born out of tradition and culture as oppose to biblical truth.
I wish more would overstand this. Marriage is NOT promised nor commanded.
Yet we’re taught otherwise.
Amen. !
Yes! Culture and not biblical truth!
If you are in desperation you are not in Gods will
I take this even when it comes to career
Amen ❤
Amen 🙏
C’mon 💯💯💯
That’s me..Ooh God help me
I had to stop idolizing Marriage when I saw there was no shortage of “lazy predatory men.” The same men that try to coax women into believing we’d be better off miserable and depressed and taking care of HIM was the end all be all.
Wow Lazy Predatory Men!! That was a word!
FACTS!!! ❤
All of this was on point! For me, for the longest time I idolized marriage and was so focused on being married. Once I stopped and truly let that go and focused on Jesus and who he is in my life, that's when my now husband came into my life 🤍. I really put it in God's hands instead of my own 🙌🏼 Trying to do it my way and idolize it got me nowhere. This was really good!
Amen
It's really weird when women say this "when I stopped worrying about it, my husband appeared". It feels a lil like bragging because these women never give actionable steps as to how you can distract yourself from thinking about finding a husband. And please don't say hobbies, I have a ton of hobbies. I'm 31 and have spent my whole life developing myself.
@@aquaabundance4077 I get where you’re coming from 💯 Honestly, the thoughts about being married don’t just disappear, even when you decide to not focus on it. For me, I would shed tears and get frustrated a lot.. But I remember one evening I was praying and I asked God to help me with my emotions. It didn’t mean that the thought of marriage wasn’t there, but no longer did I want to be consumed by the thought of it. So I journaled my desires, created a vision board of things I wanted to do for me in life, and got connected with other people at my church. I also read good books, including ones about being a Proverbs 31 woman. This really helped to focus on me and my relationship with God more, instead of me idolizing being married.
Same here. I had a date recently, on our 2nd date he wanted to jump in bed. I said no. He said "I can't imagine how many good men you pushed away with this thinking" I've never idolized marriage but now in my 30s peoples opinion has def gotten to me.
That’s crazy. I can’t believe this. The dating pool’s in the sewer.
He may think think he is a good man, but what he is not is a godly man. And he is good by society standard not by Gods, so you actually didn’t ever push away any good men by standing on Kingdom business!
He’s disgusting!
@@Actavellaexactly! Amen! 🙏🏾
@@Actavellaamen to that!
I used to see marriage as a fairy tale story book but now I realize the truth of marriage . I don’t feel bad when a guy doesn’t want to marry me anymore because I know I’ll have a lot to lose if he does 😅
😂
“Whatever you do outside the will of God with your own strength, you will be keeping that situation with your own strength for the rest of your life” 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Right. That hit hard.
I have idolized marriage all my life, God convicted me and he has been delivering me from this idolatry. This video comes to me as icing on the cake.
Eighteen year old me thought I’d be married by now. Here I am, 25 years old (single) & This video is the truth…please take heed to this. I learned the hard way about idolizing marriage when I got my heart broken. So devastating…still dealing with the pain of it & I’m still in tears about it all but the Lord is so merciful & loving..❤ It’s drawn me close to Yahweh again. Also please don’t follow the “follow your heart” saying. It’s actually the worst thing you can do, instead follow God & allow Him to guide you. I’m still dealing with hope deferred when it comes to the idea of marriage & I’ve surrendered my desire for it..I have peace knowing that I may never get married & that’s okay because if I have God, I have everything. God bless you & thank you so much for this word.❤️
I want God's will. If He wants me to be single, I will be single. If he wants me married, then it is so. I have chased the opposite sex throughout my 20s and 30s. Now, all I want is Jesus. People are making businesses out of people's idolatry of marriage. Do you know even why you are here? What is your purpose? According to Matthew 25, the Lord is not going to be too happy when you have not exercised your gifts and talents. It's like looking for something tangible as if God is not enough.
I didn’t realize I was idolizing marriage till now, thanks for this video!
I love the trajectory your channel is taking. Your spiritual growth is so inspiring!
Gyal I love it as well!! When I tell you I have never missed an episode since she started this new content 😭
I'm currently celibate an this is a sign not that I idolize marriage but that if it happens it happens if it does not I'm still content ❤
This is so so good and healing! So happy I clicked on this video. Sometimes when the church speaks about marriage it actually fuels my obsession with men and seeking vaildation. Marriage really is put on a pedestal. God has been healing me from seeking attention from men and taking me through a whole process. It got so bad I felt like my body wasn’t my own anymore, everything was centered around a man, even the topic of modesty. This is really healing my heart and delivering me from attention seeking and focusing on God and getting that fulfillment in God alone!
No I'm noticing at 20, that I'm idolizing marriage and I'm trying to deconstruct that. Thanks for this video
marriage & all things related has NEVER been broken down to this degree to me, not even in the church. when i tell you the message was crystal clear, i mean it. such revelations! thank you for obeying God by recording this video & uploading it. THIS is His will. job well done. safe to say, i’m finally headed in the right direction to being free. because as a woman in her 30s, the desire for marriage had been “tann” me up!!! i can feel a shift happening now though, simply because i understand things better now. again, i thank the God in you.
This video was so needed for me. I’ve been idolizing marriage like crazy and I didn’t even realize how bad it was until you gave examples of things you did and I’m like WOW. I do desire marriage and that lifelong union with someone but I also understand that God is not evil. And won’t give me these desires to leave them unfulfilled. From now on, I want to live in God’s will. It’s so freeing to not obsess over every black man that crosses my path and wondering if he’s my husband😂. Thank you for this video. I will be back to rewatch.
This message is right on time. I’ve known since the age of 12 that I didn’t want children and I could go years without dating. I was an extremely late bloomer to sex and find that it just isn’t important to me. If I never had sex again in my life I would be just fine. I always thought there was something wrong with me but you explaining that as a gift really blew my mind.
Thank you❤
Well said. I believe it should also be noted too for us women followers of Christ that we are not to be searching for a husband. As scripture notes from Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.” The wife is to be discovered by the husband.
I gotta be the one lol 🤭 I pursued my husband initially, he reciprocated and led from there on. He leads us both through the Most High and has brought me closer to Him & scripture. Great points though!
That’s part of her point! It’s unique and personal. I love hearing/seeing different perspectives and knowing there isn’t only one way and if it doesn’t happen we are still ok!
i read the title and said
“ God let’s have a meeting , stop throwing shade “ 😂😂
this is for me ! so excited to watch this ❤️❤️
Not shade 😂😂😂
This was so good! Be careful with phases “in the cards for you” is a reference to luck in tarot card readings. Keep doing the Lords work!
I had no clue!
I got saved after I had my daughter. I just realized I was idolizing marriage to my bf because I want a family. We have been abstinent for a bout 2 years since I got saved. But as soon as I brought up marriage it’s like our relationship has been going down hill. I can’t imagine my daughter growing up in a broken home like I did. I know that God has forgiven me for my sins, but I can seem to forgive myself for bringing her into this world into a broken home. So I think in that unforgivness for myself, I tried to push marriage to make it right and I realize now that that was not the way to go. I don’t want to be in a co parent situation, but God comes first now and I’m really having trouble letting go of the relationship with my bf. Please pray for me in this time of transition.
I pray that God will help you in this season of transition to choose Him daily. I pray for strength for you in your inner man in Jesus' name.
Some of the nuggets are good because they are backed by the Word. However, i think we need to be more careful with how we relay messages because God is an intimate God with relationship with each individual. The way He guides us and leads us differs but we can check the leading with the Word always. Why i say this is because i have seen in the Word that God is consistent and paradoxically can’t be put in a box. He is the same always but relates with each of us differently. Case in point is when Naomi told Ruth to position herself. Probably because Boaz would not have pursued her had she not positioned herself. He did spot her in the field but it is not until Namoi’s advice that he pursued her. When we speak in public platforms we need to speak from a place of grace, mercy (Jude 1:22) and self awareness, tell our testimony and let the Holy Spirit speak beyond our language
Girl when I say these people should feel free after this message. God spoke to you and spoke to me in this message and gave me clarity! I am so grateful and excited that his truth came out in this message and so many people get to witness it!
God I pray that whoever you have the gift of marriage for that you reveal it to them and whoever you have the gift of celibacy for that you reveal it to them. Father I ask with pure intentions that you reveal your will to us and reveal your way of doing things to us! God I ask that you remove all desires in our hearts that are not in alignment with your will for our lives! God I ask that you purify all of our desires, intentions, thoughts and plans in our hearts that are according to your will for our lives. God may you give us the strength, endurance, confidence, favor, wisdom and understanding to walk this faith walk out obediently and according to your word so that we may hear you say, "Well done, thy good and faithful servant" ! Lord I thank you in advance by faith that these things are done and all things are well. In Jesus name Amen!💜🙏🏾
Amen!
The fact that she speaks on the things I am worried about makes me feel like I’m not that bad just need to choose GOD over my earthly desires.
So guilty of trying “ to help “ God especially since I’m over 30… the dating going out look in cute scene is exhausting….😮
I just love to watch how God is growing and using your platform each and every time I watch your episodes ❤
thank you for sharing your experience. God delivered me from the same. married someone despite what i felt the Lord tell me, out of desperation and “trying to do the right thing” in not being sexually active before marriage - the absolute worst person for me. destroyed and uprooted my entire life. my physical health. thankfully now divorced and recovering but it has been HARD. so hard. but God is working and i realize that that’s why i couldn’t let go when God told me to. because i was putting a relationship and marriage above God. as a young girl, they start to implant that into your brain and the devil used that and ran with it for me. i wasn’t spiritually mature enough to see it and obey God in faith. and it has severely set me back.
Currently going through the same situation but I got married extremely young (18)
Man I’m currently stuck in this void right now. Still believing in a fantasy that god has repeatedly told me that it isn’t for me. Why I can’t separate or let go especially when I blatantly see the person I’m with is no match for my worth and continue to tear it down when it deems fit for them. Listening to your story and how your saying you have been severely set back scares me. I don’t want time to keep going for something I’m hopelessly fighting for. God bless you thank you for sharing I needed this ❤
I’d been scrolling through these comments trying to see if maybe someone was in my similar situation. Thank you for sharing. I’m currently married but on the brink of divorce. My husband betrayed me but even then I’d been trying so hard to make this work and trying to control this myself instead of leaving it in God’s hands and will. I feel like I’ve been idolizing this marriage. I had so many dreams that I’d thought we would accomplish together, never thought I’d be in this situation. But this video helped me realize I need to trust God’s plan more than my own ❤️🩹
Praying God catapults you forward in a way that restores the time. 🙏🏾❤
@@thewealthyone1 thank you so, so much. you have no idea how much that means to me.
God does show women who their husband is because he doesn’t want them to not know and marry who God didn’t ordained them to marry. If he can show the man who is wife is He can show the woman who her husband is. The only difference is the woman must keep it to herself and wait until the man approaches her because he has to find her. God will place her in his path to be found. There’s testimony on TH-cam about this. God showed a woman who her husband is and told her not to tell no one not even the pastor. 2 years later the man approaches her. So you limited God when you said God didn’t show the woman that the man is her husband. God knows men lie and said God said you are my wife when God didn’t say that, so He lets us women know who our husband is and who isn’t our husband.🙏🏾💍❤️
this is really true. I’ve heard testimonies like this
Nigerian's need to watch this podcast
🤣🤣🤣🤣
You’re mean for this 🤣😭🤣.
But, loud it for the people in the back.
😂😂😂
This was so eye opening🙌🏾 God bless you girl ❤️❤️
Im only a few minutes in and sis, I feel so convicted of idolizing marriage. Lord help me. I’ve been praying about this the last few days. Also @amani, I would love to hang out with you girl! I live in Atlanta and need some Godly friends
I see i'm not the only one... I pray that God's give me the peace I need to live the life He want me to live in faith and patience in His Word 🙏🏽 amen
Thank goodness for this type of video and content. I appreciate the opposing conversation of that demonic Kingdom Spouse rhetoric.
I was idolizing relationship/marriage. Seeking those things instead of God, but no more.
I surrender to God and allowing his will for my life.
I want to continue to strength my faith, and walk with God.
Because I’m single not lonely. With God, family,and friends I could never be lonely. Being single is the most important season/time in our lives. I learned to embrace it. Plus I get to know myself better, and prepare to be a wife. Preparing to be the person God called me to be ,and walking in the image of Christ.
Love this so much ❤. Please keep speaking on the truth of the Lord. Amen to you my sis in Christ.
Now I wouldn’t say that we have “soulmates” perhaps ordained spouse, but you have to understand this God has already planned our lives out way before we were even thought of by our parents before we were in the womb. Jeremiah 29:11 (as we all know) and Psalms 139:16-17… save time on writing I won’t put it here but basically the Lord has already written our lives out and it’s up to us to follow that and sadly some people don’t because we do have freewill.
So this tells us that while God formed you he had your husband in mind too. He knows who you were or going to be with in the future. And this also goes for any relationship you form or people you connect with. Everything we do isn’t about us. When God tells us to do something or go somewhere you ever notice that someone else is blessed because of your obedience or vise versa. Both you were on the Lords appointed time/ ordained time. As you read your word you see that our Lord is in the details and very precise. Jesus didn’t just say “Oh let me find your husband today” 😂 NO! He has already been created and design for your life specifically.
Hopefully I made sense to you all.
Edit: yes you don’t have to find your husband because when you are living on the Lords plan and walking that life with Him you are already in alignment so eventually you are going to bump right into that man He had for you the whole time. AMEN AMEN HALLELUJAH!!! So yep I agreee I don’t listen to how to find a man only thing we need to do is how to prepare to be a wife that’s it 😂
I needed to hear this i have been losing my mind over my boyfriend when he doesn't give me attention, creating dating apps, looking for men. and still felt empty it's time to really submit to god
😮💨 this was very much needed. I’ve watched a few videos on this topic but this is by far the best. I’ve definitely been living in desperation and idolising marriage/family and although I realised this, I didn’t know what to do about it. Thank you so much for this.
Also, love your hair and that red on you.
SAME all things in due time truly
✝️Amen
This was a right on time word! 21:04 thank you for talking about the epidemic that is going on in black communities where black men are withholding marriage and black women are left to desperately pine after unworthy suitors in order to achieve their dreams. It’s sad. I’ve seen some plain old settling in recent years that is the true definition of the danger of desperation.
I got married at 18 and right now years later just working on making God the priority and center of our marriage and household ❤
I watched this before bed last night but had to come back to it this morning! You have truly opened my eyes. I have filled my bible with so many notes. God bless you for dropping gem after gem. ❤
Gurlll, you just gained a loyal subscriber, because this is wisdom. The spirit of God has been putting this in my heart and I didn't know what the problem was until someone said, "I WANT TO STOP IDOLIZING MARRIAGE" and then your video popped first
I think you need to remember that Paul was giving the advice to not marry under a specific context. Marriage is something that's very important, especially for God. There are people in this world who need spouses for their ministries to be established. There are several examples of this in the Bible, including Abraham. God provides marriages for people based on what He designed for their destiny. The main purpose of a biblical marriage is to grow into Christ. It's not this shameful thing that you just do because you don't have a 'gift'.
I agree that you should not idolize marriage, but marriages are very important to God. Paul was talking to a sexual immoral church, and he was not speaking generally. Marriages are a version of the relationship we have in Christ, and God uses them to disciple us and make us able ministers. It is not something you shun because God prefers you to be single. Make sure you read the Bible in context, especially about marriage. If not, you'll find yourself contradicting yourself. God DID say that it is not good for man to be alone, and you shouldn't have discarded that scripture to take another one out of context. Read everything fully. I agree with your overall message, though. God bless.
God was referring to Adam when he talked about being alone on Earth so that is also a different context? God said alone as in without a friend or other person, not as in married.
The Bible was written so men can become better human beings. You’re sent to earth to elevate your consciousness, the Bible is a guide in how to do that. Women in large don’t have to be taught to be good human beings, we are love in human form. It’s easy for a woman to truly love and care for others. It’s hard for men to do the same because it’s seen as “weak” to other men. Your egos get in the way of true love.
I read through the entire book of 1 Corinthians so I know the context. I’m reading through the entire New Testament right now and I know sexual immorality was something their congregation was struggling with, but even in that context, if they were struggling so hard with it Paul would have told all of them to get married then. Even to a corrupt church he gave the advice to serve God before you give yourself to marriage. I think that’s all the context we need.
I said Adam though, and also if God was just referring to a friend, He would’ve made another man. He made a woman specifically for a reason. And I acknowledged I took that story for my own purpose already.
@AmaniTalks Yeah, I get that and I agree with you. Still, my initial point stands, though. God bless.
Now why would you chew me up and spit me out like that? 😂 Such an honest and much needed video for many. Thank you.
Not everyone is meant for marriage but for those who aren’t God has something even more wonderful planned for you. It’s hard to accept but I’m certain. Even the Bible says those who remain unmarried are more blessed. I sure do wish I had someone to turn to tho for car issues and home repairs but oh well
I needed this so bad. I also jsit came to this realization and still reeling from my false idolization. Thank you for explaining!
"God will provide for me where I am"
I need to stop idolizing marriage. Thank you for this video. You are so strong I honestly don’t know how single Christian women do it. It’s beautiful. I’m gonna be vulnerable but with the way my life has been since a young age I burn for desire and passion so much. Being celibate has been the hardest thing for me. I crave a husband and a head of me to lead me and tell me what to do in my life. But I know God is the priority. I have to focus on him.
Only God completes us satisfies us makes us whole relationship with Him is Most Important and He always knows and wants what is best 😊❤ and we never have to be lonely or alone because God is always with us 😊❤❤
Matthew 6:33
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
Thanks for abstaining me from marriage. Marriage has too much drama in it for me. Humans are too flawed. But god is not.😊
What if you have a desire to get married? And you’re not at peace will being single? I thought when it’s God’s will, you’ll know by the peace you feel. Some ppl don’t desire marriage. Tbh, marriage is the hardest in the black community. I don’t see this in the Asian, Hispanic or white community. Have the lowest probability to get married and then the highest divorce rates ugh frustrating.
Have not watched just yet but the title is what made me click. What determines the difference between idolizing or just having a natural desire for? For me, I know that the Bible says it’s not good for man to be alone. That Adam needed a help mate. The Bible says that two is better than one, and it is better to marry than to burn with passion. Those scriptures just off the top of my head tells me that marriage is a good thing! That said, I believe that marriage can definitely be idolized! If it takes up most of your time, if you’re putting yourself and others into compromising positions to get to that goal of marriage, if you’re settling for the person that’s taking you away from God, etc. but the persons who have a genuine desire for marriage just like you would have for perhaps a new car or to be able to afford healthier groceries or a healthier lifestyle, I don’t think that’s particularly a bad thing, in fact, it’s taken a lot of us a long time to get to a place where we recognize that we desire a life partner. I think it’s important to know yourself and what you truly want in order to receive that. I know people who say I’ll never marry again and that has been their reality. I know people who complain about there being no good men and that’s all they tend to attract or allow into their lives. I think having a HEALTHY desire for the life partner is okay. God saw that Adam was lonely and wanted someone and so it was done for him. I think the best things we can do as singles is enrich our own lives and get ready as much as possible whilst not idolizing. I do believe that the enemy is against kingdom marriage. Why wouldn’t he attack that? So we should continue to pray and fast if lead to and have faith with our works if we are to win the battle!
According to scripture woman are supposed to OBEY their husbands. You better choose right or you will be blamed for choosing wrong if the man abuses you or cheats or is a lousy husband.
This is so good! I needed this message as a woman in her late 20s who desires marriage but I should not idolize it. God will reveal to my husband that I am his wife and it is not my responsibility to seek him out 👏🏽
6:18 here’s to finding God. Thank you Sis, God was loud in this video heard every word ❤
As a man I believe that the 3 most important decisions you can make is
1. Choose a master ( your God)
2. Choose your mate
3. Choose your purpose
We are not meant to be alone in this world. We are meant to be married, have children and serve our community through the gifts God has given us. A man doesn’t know everything and neither does a woman. You get married to have someone to balance your thinking and most importantly display Godly love and to have children to expand God’s kingdom. We need more Godly people to bring more people to the Lord.
Love the video sister in Christ…keep them coming
Wow AMEN! I was just praying about this. God is so good and he’s everything I need! Beautiful to see you standing on his WORD. Yes Lord! We need more young people being an example of Christ according to his will and not our own Thank you Lord ❤️🙏🏼
Isaiah 54:5 says my Creator is you husband. The Lord of heavens army is his name. The word of God keeps me as a single woman and is breakin the idiolizing marriage i felt i had. God is workin. Only your will for me God!
No… God specifically told me who my husband is that’s not true. Now I think you should keep that to yourself until
He reveals that to your partner 😂. Yes that was me 😂. But when the Lord has something for you it’s not going to mess up. I did that but it didn’t backfire for me because it was and is always meant to be. I had a lot of confirmation before I said OK! I get it LORD that’s my husband. 😂
God tells you things concerning YOU! A dream, a vision, an audible voice and though someone you know and trust. I’m going to have to debunk that statement for my personally experience and soooo many others that has their testimony right here on TH-cam. Jesus will not leave you in the dark. He isn’t just going to tell your future husband who you are without telling you. So when a man comes up to you and say “God told me your my wife” and God hasn’t confirm that with you then that’s not your husband.
Also your husband at the time may not even hear God as good as you do and your more devout and he is still out in the world so God would definitely tell you because the man right now can’t hear Him.
😂 I’m sorry cause I feel like I’m just going against certain things you are saying but I’m not I’m
Just giving wise counsel especially because someone May second guess what God told them and know to be true because of what you just said. ❤❤
I believe this and I think I'm going through that experience... Do you mind sharing what this looked like for you? The revealing and confirming.
@@Twalzz Yes I would love to share. You want to know how the Lord confirm to me about my future husband?
For me it was dreams and Him speaking to me in my mind. If you knew the whole story 😂 I kept denying that the guy (my spouse) that God told me that was my husband was really what the Lord said, because that man was doing his own thing. I don’t want to give too many details because honestly as we know the spiritual realm is very real and there are monitoring spirits. TRUST ME! But God constantly kept telling me to pray for him and everything I prayed over that man it came true.
@@bjoneswhite306 Wow that's so encouraging. For me it was through a video I watched here on TH-cam which described him exactly as he was and exactly what I was going through. Wen I started doubting, I prayed for confirmation and another video popped up which was super confirming! I freaked out both times and especially because I'm baptist, it's hard for us to believe extra-biblical revelations. I also relate to denial and him doing his own thing (cause he's in another city for school and I'm home on break from studies) and also the part where I feel like I've messed up (I told him I liked someone but didn't tell him it was him) so it's comforting to know that other people go through this 😅 Im also starting to think that one of the reasons God tells the woman first is so that she can get ready. All in all thanks for sharing your story and I totally understand that you couldn't go into details. Hope you have a wonderful and incredibly blissful union!
@@Twalzz YES! Amen love this for you. I’m still going through my process with my future spouse the chapter is actually almost closing 😭🙏🏿👏🏾. It’s going to be a lot spiritual warfare but be strong and trust in the Lords word.
I know that you said that you are Baptist or go to a Baptist Church one thing I realize as I walk with the Lord, I don’t put myself in a religion category, especially ones that quenches the Holy Spirit which makes Him sad. Yes the Holy Spirit has feelings and we can see that in the word. So what I’m saying don’t let that baptism background you have to box God in and let Him show you who He really is, which I see you are. A lot of people unfortunately Christian ppl are going to think you’re crazy because they lack belief and miracles. The same God in the Bible is the same God today. He is still a miracle worker. AMEN 🙏🏿
@@bjoneswhite306 Amen! Thank you so much for your insights. Indeed, we really cannot confine God to what we think He should be like. And yeah the spiritual warfare is real! Especially were sexual purity is concerned. And just trusting God in general. I'm happy to hear your chapter is almost closing 😊
Hey Sis, do you happen to know that Ruth is the one who proposed to Boaz? Do you also know that Adam never went to look for Eve? 😊 Think about it 😉 Be blessed 🙏
Marriage is not the default. I never read it like that. I am interested to finish this video and see what else you say. Because I also read Adam and Eve and being in a relationship and not alone is good. But I do understand the getting married so what you do is not a sin. But man the thought of not getting married.... I almost can't fathom it.
My momma gave up on finding a black man she wanted a Godly man first found my white daddy and married him. Lol
This just shames people who want marriage in fear that they can’t serve god in the way he deserves to be worshipped. It’s like saying if you’re so desperate for sex then get married when in truth Corinthians should be interpreted as IF you get married because marriage is just as much a gift from god as being single you must serve god the same as you would if you were single
🔥 message! I am led by the Lord to put this in your comment section, because people will take literal what you said regarding not making a first move towards your (God ordained Husband)
We have to remember to never place God in a box on how he does things. If the Lord leads you to reach out to a person first please be obedient. No where in scripture says that a woman shouldn’t approach a man first. Again, this is at the Lord’s leading regarding the marriage he has for you. Not everyone marriage story will be linear.
Truth, truth, truth, you speak nothing but the truth. Thank you so much for this, I know I will come back to this in future because it really lifts the fog in my mind and makes it all so crystal clear. God know best, that's all that matters in this universe.
God ORDAINED marraige...just be OBEDIENT. It's never been an IDOL.
God ordained marriage as in “called” individuals to the role in his order. She said countless times in the video that this is an institution created by God. We don’t idolize the created thing.
We treasure Jesus and seek the kingdom of God first. We are commanded to love the Lord our God with all our being and to create disciples In the Earth. We can obtain salvation without marriage.
God never commanded every person to marry nor did God promise Marriage to everyone. To believe so is making an idol out of marriage.
Maybe you should take time to reevaluate your beliefs and teachings about marriage because a lot of worldly advice has crept into the Church and been taught from the pulpit as biblical truth but in reality it’s always been culture and tradition that took over.
@Nitra813 I don't think anybody thinks our salvation is obtained by marraige. God's will is still marraige if you desire procreation in the earth not fornication. That's my point
@@bpraise517oh dear you’d be surprised at what men and women are being taught and believe from the pulpit. It’s ridiculous. Especially pastors wives and kids.
Surely marriage has its place but it is not what every Christian is called to.
Also not every married couple gets married to have children or procreate. At least not right away. There needs to be a video about idolizing parenthood as well.
I’ve been told these very things
@Nitra813 I feel like we might be using the word "idolize" too loosely. Making .marraige or parenthood a goal or a desire is not idolizing it's just a GOAL. But to lift it as MERIT with God is an error in application. There are biblical benefits from God in marraige & parenthood just as it is in singleness.
I believe there are those that desire marraige but feel like it's not happening for them due to age or time (whatever the reason) can develop a negative opinion or ideology about marraige to cope with their current or past situation. (I see that trend in social media alot)..BTW I don't think marraige is a CALLING either.
This was a word I didn’t know I needed, thank you Sis for this 🙌🏾🙏🏾
I enjoy the freedom of being single however the lonely days do come.
I wish I never experienced sex or relationship before then I wouldn't miss it
I don’t know if I agree with everything she said for example in the Bible Ruth slept at the feet of Boaz. Yet sis is saying as a woman we shouldn’t “put ourselves out there.” My understanding could be wrong so please, if so, clarify 🙏🏽🤍
You better quote the Bible… I admire when truth of the word is being spoken… society has it all wrong
OH. MY. GOSH. You are PREAAAACHING!!!! Thank you for being obedient to God and speaking on this topic because, phewwww gurrrrl, SO many points were made😮💨
Always wanted to be married. Even got hit with the spirit of fantasy all my life to desk with the constant rejection from men. Single and alone in my 30s with 2 kids and no options in sight and getting desperate. I hate being single and alone i despair of life. Just impatiently waiting for the rapture so this devastating loneliness can be over
This video is SO good! God bless you Queen 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Yes I’ve delayed my purpose so much smh.
Wow this is literally how I feel about marriage let me subscribe to you
The change is refreshing. To see God re-grab his children from the world. I've watched you before and I'll watch you now. You've always had His wisdom even though you fought against it. 🖤🖤 He was leading you to minister to young women. 🙏🏿
Thank you for this video 🥹🤍🤍🫶🏼
nobody talks about this!!! thank you for bringing this to light sis 🩷
This was SO good!
Thank you ❤️
Ruth actually approached boaz
I don’t know about marriage but I do want a kid 😭😭
Paul is my favorite writer !!! I also think 1 Corinthians changed my life. That’s when I got SERIOUS about reading the Bible ! I just finished reading Hebrews as well. Extremely good book !
Do you have a women group or something? I would love to join if you do!!
Very profoundly knowledgeable! Praise God! Thank you for using scriptures as examples!