I was diagnosed with odd as a child, recieved therapy for it (horrible therapy but still). And it's really interesting to see all the parents and professionals on here complaining about the behavior. I think more people need to understand that while we do enjoy getting a rise out of others, the aftermath is not fun nor desireable. And the time leading up to it is also not fun or enjoyable. I grew up with a lack of emotional guidance because nobody wanted to deal with the very strong feelings I had, so they'd just sit me in a corner and hoped I'd sort myself out. Children who are not taught emotional regulation or self soothing techniques will not automatically aquire those skills with age. I was subjected to harsh disipline, and well, my behavior has only slightly improved and I plan to never speak to my parents again after graduation. As a 17 year old, I am begging parents and therapists and educators to please not give up on their children. Giving up on them will only cement them to a dark future. Use disipline with compassion. Give reasoning for rules and explain when necessary. We are not all destined to grow up to be sociopaths or narcissists. I'm open to any further discussion.
That’s why I’m watching this- I’m a teacher and I’m about to lose it because I can’t figure what to do to help my students. There isn’t a diagnosis but I see similar behavior’s to ODD in my student so I’m searching for tips.
Thanks but my daughter just doesnt give a shit about soothing techniques when im trying to tell her. She insists everyone else is a problem and need to adjust.
@@Przepoczwarzeniebeing that you’re here trying to get it figured out, that’s a good sign. i dont think my parents extended their resources properly to try to help. they let a problem stay a problem for a very very long time- while i had no awareness of the pit i’d end up in. even though they did have emotions involved, the drive to help didn’t take things far. good luck to you and your family. keep going and keep trying until the problem ends up properly resolved
I worked with a 6 years old boy with this. The only thing that finally helped was to give him control, within reason of course, and let him suffer the consequences. It was really rough for his parents and us teachers at first but the kid finally figured it out. The hardest part was that this child was really smart and could come up with some very convincing lies to avoid taking responsibility for his actions. I remember how hurt and embarrassed his parents were when we showed proof from the playground security cameras that he was at fault. He is older now and doing much better❤
My son showed signs of it at age 2. He was diagnosed at 5 or 6. He is 20 now, and has not grown out of it, but he is NOT a monster thank GOD❤😊. Raising him was the most difficult task I will ever have to do in my lifetime.
As a former teacher, I can tell you that when you get a student like this-you are completely and utterly worn out and often end up in tears. It feels like there’s no “real help” from any school program since those with it don’t qualify as “emotionally disturbed.” These are kids who destroy the classroom (causing the rest of the class to evacuate so admin can intervene), argue with the teacher about just about every single thing, and bully other kids. Parents seem to have fewer problems than teachers because they are one on one with the child, versus a teacher who has 21 other students whose needs she is trying to meet. Parents can give these kids a time out in a SEPARATE room but teachers really can’t do that because we can’t leave a child unattended. They can go to the office to be in a separate space but that is a tough situation as well. Schools need to have more support for kids who struggle with this on every single campus. Children with ODD would definitely benefit from a smaller class size with more adult support. They have big emotions and don’t know how to process them so having someone trained in behavioral disorders needs to be teaching that class. It seems that being in a gen ed class all day with 21 other personalities and a teacher is very triggering for a child with ODD.
Great insight! There is not enough support for teachers to manage it all, supporting one student while potentially compromising the needs of the entire class. A smaller class size is a great suggestion with more consistent reliable one on one attention for students w ODD
I'm dealing with this at the moment. I really don't know what to do, I have given so much support to this child and I never raise my voice. He despises me and has a strong grip on the classroom with violent and manipulative behaviour I've never seen before! He's primarily like this with me, but luckily my colleagues have observed the behaviour and obviously the kids. He's started to display personality switches and lying. For example, he will act extremely sad and clingy around parents and as soon as they leave, he will grin and resume usual chaotic behaviours. I keep telling myself he's just a kid and mulling over what I'm doing wrong. It's mentally exhausting. I am terrified to impose consequences because it adds more fuel to the fire. I cannot win in any situation. They put an aid in my room who is terrified of him. It makes me very sad because I know he's suffering as well, but I have to protect my class as well. It's past a point of control now. Any minor disciplinary action I provide results in disproportionate resentment and horrible name calling, screaming, death stares etc Does anyone have any advice?! 😅
@@benedictcumberbatch4275 -Do you think parents REALLY want kids to NOT go to school? Trust me-these are the kids who never miss a single day. The parents want and need a break as well. They likely feel very overwhelmed about how to help their child. If parents don't want their kids in public school-they have the option of homeschooling or sending their child to a private school. (Private schools won't tolerate violent behavior, though-unless it is a school that is focused on helping kids with behavioral and/or emotional problems).
If only we had more teachers per student. I think a 1 to 10 ratio of teacher to student would be way more effective. Other countries with that ratio seem to have much happier students. Also designing schools to look less prison-like would be helpful too but I suppose thats a budget problem
Oh no. I hope your insights can help you figure out work arounds for the future. Remember not everyone wants to control you. We just want to get stuff done. Except some narcissist toxic bosses. But most people just want cooperation to reach a goal.
I have an ODD kid. Was there anything that worked to get you to really take what you did seriously? My kid always says, "I don't think it's a big deal" even when it's a huge and dangerous big deal. Any insight or advice?
It took years before anyone would take me seriously and actually examine my son, but finally he was diagnosed with ODD. I would explain everything very carefully, to the point of tears, but the doctors just made me feel like I don't know how to parent, despite the fact that my other kids weren't having those issues. When they explained what it was and how it worked, everything made sense.
As a former sp.ed. teacher, ODD or CD was one of the worst diagnosis of kid's I worked with. The level and intensity of the outbursts, violence, lies and aggression was draining. It felt like you were always walking into an MMA match EVERY SINGLE DAY for no reason at all. Those students ENJOY conflict and confrontation, and almost NEED IT to be happy. It was very sad and seemed like a path to sociopathy. 💔🤯🤦
My daughter has it. It's a living hell. Do you know how those kids turned out? I worry so much about her future. She's 14 now and she is making risky choices with boys.
alright so i hate making myself angry for no reason but i need to clear some air here. i have ODD myself and i want to say that this mindset is a bit misconstrued. yes, i'm very sorry that those children were difficult, obviously i was [and still am, sadly] myself. but accusing them of enjoying hurting people and being SOCIOPATHS is i wanna say a *bit* much? in fact i actually really hate confrontations. but i don't like misinformation, which is the main reason i'm writing this reply right now actually. i'll apologize on their behalf and say i'm sorry that your experience was negative. that's basically unavoidable, i'll point out, we do have a short temper. but closing your mind to them is only gonna be a self-fulfilling prophecy i'm afraid
@@kattozilla74 I appreciate you adding to the conversation, I'm always so glad to see a comment from someone who has ODD. We parents are always commenting but it's rare to hear it from your point of view. I have a question for you. Our lives have been so beyond difficult and exhausting. Our adopted daughter, my cousin is 14. Our family friends offered to have her over the summer, longer if needed. The mom in the family is a special Ed teacher and deals with behavioral issues. The dad is no nonsense, strong and will stick to what he says. I slept 10 1/2 hours last night for the first time in years and I haven't had to check my GPS to see if she is home, first thing when I wake up for a week. At 14 she has taken off 4 times in the last year and twice brought home by the cops. She was in the mental health ward at the hospital for a week for telling the teachers she wants to 💀. My question is, do you see from your life experience, if things will potentially get better or do they have to get worse before they get better or will her life always be like it is? I know you don't have a Chrystal Ball and you don't know us but honestly, I'm just desperate for any insight. Thanks for your time and help ❤️
My daughter was diagnosed with ODD/ADHD and finally Autism. Everything you discussed today fits her perfectly. She was honestly this way from birth. I recognized that she was very different and had issues while she was a toddler. Her meltdowns were horrible and they happened anywhere and all the time. I had to remove her from private preschool because of it and the fact that she would attack younger children. She was only 3 years old. We got Early Childhood Intervention involved when she was only 18 months old. This diagnosis isolates the family. What it has done to my life is beyond my ability to put into words. She threw over desks, threw pencil boxes at teachers, cursed them and finally in 8th grade did what I always feared would come. She assaulted a teacher and attacked a police officer. She had absolutely no respect or fear toward anyone. Her anxiety could provoke rage. We did have to remove her from school to protect other people but now at the age of 18, she has a really great psychiatrist who has medicated her to the point that she’s not violent. She can still meltdown, but I can control her somewhat. Yes, this diagnosis is pure hell..not just for the family and loved ones but also for the person being diagnosed. I have hope that eventually down the road she will be able to live an independent life, but until she’s way older, she will stay with me because I can’t bear the thought of what she could do to another person and I love her very much and don’t want anything to happen to her. Thank you for this video. I would like to add that I can personally tell you that this is genetic. My daughter is adopted. I know her birth mother and her birth father. Both have issues and her birth mother was diagnosed bipolar. In hindsight and because I have raised this child just like I raised my own children and in the same home with the same structure and rules…I have come to believe it’s inherited. We have done everything you mentioned. She’s had a psychiatric nurse since she was 4 years old and a private counselor even until now. She is medicated and is indeed on an antipsychotic. Now, she’s being diagnosed with an antisocial disorder. Her birth father has that diagnosis.
Dang, I am sure U wouldn’t do this but I would have thrown her back n the pool, but I never wanted to be a parent. Hopefully she will get better for her sake and society. She sounds dangerous.
What worries me, as someone who has trouble following rules that make no sense to me, is that a child asking why a rule is in place might be considered to simply be being defiant. Some adults seem unable to recognize that children are people with minds of their own. EDIT FOR PEOPLE WHO FAIL TO UNDERSTAND THAT LAST SENTENCE: SOME ADULTS CAN'T COMPREHEND ANY SORT OF DISOBEDIENCE BEING NORMAL AND HEALTHY AND THAT IS WHAT CONCERNS ME
Ok but as a Mom who has a 20 year old who was diagnosed at 8 as having ODD...there is a definite pattern of behavior that is far beyond normal childhood questioning and defiance.I have a 5 and 3 year old currently are like a dream after raising my 20 year old. It's not as you are stating it. It's constant and pervasive.
@@pennyp7382 Like anything else, the diagnosis will be used for a range of behaviors. ADHD is a single diagnosis but the impact and behaviors vary widely. And without a thorough family history and dive into all of the things that could be going on, even have 1 child of 3 that's significantly different in behavior doesn't necessarily mean that ODD is the most accurate explanation.
@@pennyp7382 I realize you raised your son. I'm not saying the diagnosis doesn't fit. I'm saying that there may be better diagnoses. People, especially children, get misdiagnosed often.
I'm 40 and I absolutely lived my entire life with this. I've never known until now why I instinctually defied authority until now. Thank you for making this video.
@@myidentityisinjesus8880I do. 1) Don't medicate children with psychiatric drugs. 2) learn from the kid. Politicians have lied to you over and over and over again, yet you still follow their rules. YOU'RE the one with a mental disorder
I have ODD, I was diagnosed at a really young age. And its true, its pure hell for the person who has ODD and for those around. I would always hit people, throw things, and destroy things. I've tamed down over the years and as a adolescent going into young adults years, I can see exactly why people online don't really like me. I have manipulated and basically bullied people just out of spite. I've said hurtful things that i geniunely didn't mean to say, but i just dont have the rightful control of my emotions to prevent myself from doing or saying something wrong. Heres one thing to NEVER say to someone who has ODD or has trouble regulating their emotions. "Oh you can control and think before you do or say something" Never. And i mean NEVER say this to someone who has ODD! Some of us, have NO control whatsoever on what we say or do. Half the time, we dont even realize we are doing something wrong. My parents used corporal punishment (or spanking) as a punishment method when i was younger. My mom eventually realized, that you can't discipline someone who has ADHD, ODD, Autism or any other disorder this way. She eventually got my dad to stop this punishment. My dad is likely where I inherited my ODD from, since he also shows some of the symptoms of ODD. The best way to talk to someone with ODD, is that if you notice signs of passive aggression, snarky or snippy remarks or any sign of anger or annoyance. Just leave them alone by themself to cool off. They need time alone.
I'd love to see research differentiating pda profile ASD from ODD (especially in the context of childhood trauma), especially given the link between ADHD and ODD, given we already know a statistical link between ADHD and ASD.
FWIW having worked with kids with ODD, and ASD, I never found any overlap. The kid with ASD could be a "handful" and have melt downs. It was almost always because of 1) poor communication skills, 2) sensory overload or 3) really poor theory of mind. They never had the vindictive behaviors or the never ending challenge everything behaviors kids with ODD have. The kid with ASD could have violent behaviors, but would never set a trash can on fire or deliberately slam another kid's head into the wall just because. KIds with ODD you never ever argued. You give them 3 choices, but you load those choices towards what you want. It usually work for me. I found that however "horrible " the ODD kid was at school, they were 1000x worse at home. I found they at least tried, no matter how poor their efforts seemed at school.
@@lilbatz thanks for sharing your experience! I am wondering if in this analysis you considered ASD vs PDA profile of ASD? From my understanding, PDA has an emphasis on fight or flight activation toward demands. What constitutes a demand is person to person, but can feel like you're being forced to do something, which is both traumatic in and of itself, but may to an overstimulated and triggered nervous system feel like you need to react to the threat. Especially if you have specific trauma related to being forced/taken advantage of beyond how it always feels to someone with PDA navigating everyday life. So let's say you have someone with pda (baseline fight response), who then experiences early childhood trauma (c/PTSD and enlarged reactivity) who leans toward developing NPD or another low empathy disorder, who continues with these reactions growing bigger and bigger to be able to maintain body autonomy, continue demand avoidance, etc. From there, the greater the cruelty, the more sense of control and regulation is achieved during a threat response as a way of stimming. That also makes sense at home to be more escalated, as there are usually more demands with less autonomy in how you meet them. Escalated behavior to the point of scaring others makes a lot of sense if that is your only way to guarantee safety, according to your nervous system. I am not saying ODD isn't a thing, but i do believe not all ODD is actually ODD, and that further research on PDA profile ASD is needed.
My 10 year old daughter has ODD. I hope she grows out of it. I have stage 3 ovarian cancer and it's almost impossible to deal with my daughter while im in so much physical pain.
As someone with ODD and ADHD. I am working on it. Thankfully. My ODD is pretty easy to control. When I want to be left alone. I want to be left alone. And when someone does not let me. Even if I’m not alone to be left alone. I get mad. And the ODD takes over, I hate it so much but I am learning to control it.❤😊
This is what my son says, when he gets upset/mad (which is often and for things beyond my comprehension), he immediately says he has to be left alone- very fiercely...I'm working on him at least saying it more nicely.
I actually was diagnosed with this but come to find out-it was stemming from me having anxiety, trying to fit in, etc. I was also always the type to speak up when I felt things were unjust so that’s also another reason why I was looked at as so defiant.
As a mum ,my heart goes out to you. People say flippant things to me and you answer politely but as many parents out there you have run the marathon l,m sure. Just sending love.
As a 29 year old with ODDCD, if your child is diagnosed you need to get them help. This video is spot on but under shot a little with explaining the levels of emotion we deal with across the board not just anger. Everything gets turned up to 13 so it's important to intervene early. Everything that goes wrong feels like the end of the world. Any wrong doing against you can easily be justified in your head with thoughts of extreme violence or even murder and sprinkle some impulsive behaviours in there and you've got a nightmare. Thankfully growing up in such an abusive and violent home and area mine has put me in a place where I refuse to act like the people I was brought up around but I still ruin everything for myself on a day to day basis. ODDCD for me is nothing but suffering endless suffering.
Thank you for sharing. ❤ That's an awesome way to look at it. You didn't want the life you grew up in and I felt that 💯 I have a child age 5 that deals with ODD ADHD. 💔
@rosiefogus7570 I wish you the best of luck growing up in a bad area the way people talked took a big part of how I spoke to people even people I cared about. I have two children 9 and 5 right now and they've grown up so well but my youngest may be on the same spectrum as me with her emotional control so my eyes are all over her right now. Having ODD is not a bad thing but it is a hard thing in the wrong environment to deal with but I trust that since you're here in the first place you're already a better person than most I grew up around so you're taking the right steps. The sooner your little one can understand how they feel and to express is vocally the better. Best of luck, you'll be just fine 😇
26, still dealing with it. Lost another job recently because of it, I was diagnosed as a child but never got really any proper help for it, it feels like no one even knows about it, I had a teacher at my school say to my dad "Kids with ODD don't act this way, they're not constantly angry or picking fights." Which is not the case at all, that's exactly what ODD is, I'm argumentative as hell to authority figures and every little thing ruins my day and I get upset about it for longer than I should. I'm starting to lose hope here as an adult with it because it has gotten better but still has not gotten to the point where I feel like I can be a functioning member of society.
I'm sorry 😔💔. It breaks my heart for anyone dealing with things out of their control within their own bodies and mind. Our boy will be 6 this year and we are all working together to help him ❤️💔 it breaks my heart because i know its rough
I have a younger sibling who has this, and like most people in the comments have said, it is absolute hell to live with for everyone involved. Just know that youre not alone and God will use it for His glory somehow.
Ive been waiting for this one, My son is human embodiment of ODD. More resources for parents is incredibly necessary. If you can make more videos on this topic to help parents that would be great. Thank you for this.
Hang in there. I also had a child diagnosed in elementary school. He is 20 now and is doing well. It was extremely rough raising him though and can empathize. I have a 5 and 3 year old who don't have any of the same intense challenges as my first born. I can't imagine having them first and thinking he was just "bad". Hang in there. He wanted to be emancipated at 17 to the government so he could go in the army. He graduated a year early after putting the absolute minimum effort all through school despite being very intelligent and capable of learning. He just refused as with the diagnosis. He spent 3 years active and was just medically honorable discharge due to an injury to his legs. He's still very much ODD qualified but now he just goes home and can do whatever he wants. 😂 Seriously though. Hang in there and you will be the master of "pick your battles" with your child. God bless you and your family.
Dr. Marks I needed this affirmation today. My husband and I are currently struggling with 2 of our 6 children (2 of which are adults) with this disorder. My husband and I feel like we're living in hell. Our 16 year old daughter was diagnosed with this at the age of 7, conduct disorder and bipolar 1 later on. It's sad to say I don't think I had a true understanding of this disorder was until today when I watched your video. My daughter absolutely hates me, blames me for every single thing that goes wrong in her life. She wakes me up out of my sleep to tell my how horrible of a mother I am. I feel like I'm being emotionally abused and drained to the point that I no longer want her living with us. Because of this I feel guilty and I'm also constantly trying to figure out what I've done to make this child hate me. She's a daddy's girl which doesn't bother me but I do want her to be respectful to me. She constantly tells me how her dad is a better parent than me. Yesterday I said good morning to her and she said "don't look at me, I hate when you look at me." Friends and family are always telling me how sweet and loving she is. She comes off as extremely caring, lovable and innocent, almost angelic. I asked her what I've done to her to make her hate me and she said she doesn't know all she knows is she hates me and believes I hate her too. She also blames me for having autoimmune diseases. It's almost like she goes out of her way to try and make me hate her. Nothing I do is right. She's on medication but I feel like it's a hit or miss. She's also in therapy which she has the psychiatrist and therapist thinking she's so sweet. I mean she really comes off as a sweetheart. She's soft spoken and gentle with everyone but me and 2 her sisters but I get the brunt of it. I'm extremely perplexed because I keep trying to figure out why I trigger this child so much. I'm at my wits end. Our 11 year old son is even worse than her. He's not disrespectful to me or his dad in general but he's extremely violent and aggressive with some of his siblings. He was also diagnosed about the age of 6. He's also on medication and has been on antipsychotics for years. He had a therapy team that would come to our home 3 times a week and I didn't see any improvement. The therapist were very accusatory and made me feel like I was parenting all wrong. My son, who at the time was about 6 or 7 would hug me in front of them and they would tell me to ignore him and push him away because I was showing him affection when he didn't deserve it. I'm no expert but I felt like that was counterproductive. His behavior is so extreme that his psychologist at the time recommended I not have him in school because of his potential aggression to the other students so he's been homeschooled for the past few years. He's become known as the family bully. At 5'4 he's taller than me, he's 180 lbs and wears a size 12 shoe in men. He likes to intimidate the other kids with his size. He goes from being Mr. Rodgers to the incredible hulk in the matter of seconds then right back to Mr. Rodgers. Everyone feels like their walking on eggshells so they don't set him off including me but I don't want to seem weak in front of him but secretly I am afraid of him. Even though he's aggressive he's extremely sensitive and gets his feelings hurt easily. His former psychiatrist told me that prisons are full of men like him and he was going to try and help him but there was little hope. We're not giving up on him so easily and just throw him away to the prison system. He's a brilliant kid. He's taught himself how to make video games and coding. He creates websites and graphic designs. My husband has taught him how to do computer programming, maintenance on cars and construction, deconstruction, produce music, play the piano, etc. He loves science and wants to become an engineer. His interest are extremely vast and he excels at anything he puts his mind to. However, now he's learned how to hack in to computers and change prices on websites, a few days ago my daughter was looking at an iPhone and he changed the price to $1.99. He asked another child for his social security number so he could file him on his taxes. He applied a credit card and unemployment benefits. We put a lock on our wifi to keep him off of certain websites but he's hacks into our phones and changed the settings. I want to take his all his electronics because I'm afraid the FBI is going to be knocking at our door. He's not like any other 11 year old I've seen. Before having children I worked in special education during college but now I'm disabled because I have lupus and MS and my husband worked as a correctional officer but had a stroke last year and lost his sight and is now a paraplegic. My son has used this to his advantage to basically terrorize his siblings because his dad was the main disciplinary. I'm still at a lost on how to exactly help my children but I really appreciate your explanation of this disorder. I learned more in 10 minutes than I have in all the years I have been trying to research this disorder on my own. I feel like now I can go forward trying to get more assistance from their current mental health providers because I can explain accurately of what we're experiencing at home. Your simple explanation on all your videos really helps. I don't know if I've already missed this video but can you expound more on the difference between conduct disorder and opposition defiant disorder? Thanks again!
Hey I’m sorry to hear about your struggles. I wanted to let you know that you can request GeneSight testing for both your children so that their treatment team and you can discover the medication that works best for both of them. Your local mental health center should be able to assist you with this test. It helps eliminate the trial and error with medication. Prayers for you and your family 🙏❤️
Oh my! I'm so sorry. I would hire help if I were you. I can't imagine the impact it's having on you and your quality of life. Consider hiring a psychiatric nurse, preferably male. Your safety is highly compromised.
Butterfly: You ARE living in hell. Your kids could murder you. Today. You would be a fool if you didn't fear them every minute and want them out of your house. You need to get a lawyer and a will. Maybe not in that order.
Wow! I can relate to an extent. (Also mom of 6 kids with the youngest two having similar issues.) Daughter too (ADHD and ODD) from a very young ago was disruptive and blames me for bringing her into this world. Her younger brother also has ADHD and anger issues so her behaviors easily trigger his outbursts.
Fantastic video!! I've recently started working with this kind of child population, and I've never heard it all explained so well and in full. I appreciate how empathetic you are to people with this disorder (and other difficult ones like cluster B PDs), and how it can persist into and present in adulthood.
My youngest was diagnosed with ODD when he was still tiny. We have home schooled from kindergarten on because he was so disruptive in class. It wasn't fair to the other kids. It wasn't fair to the teacher. And it certainly wasn't fair to him. I was so scared of how he would turn out as he got older because he was violent and uncontrollable. He has come such a long way thanks to therapy and just growing up. He's such a sweet boy, who does get upset easily but doesn't lash out. Not a violent bone in his body anymore. He's also autistic and has ADHD so the poor dear has a lot holding him back, but I'm so proud of how far he's come in 16 years.
My sister has ODD/ADHD and got early intervention. She almost got kicked out of her daycare after giving a kid a bloody nose in a fight over a certain spot on the carpet at circle time. She's almost 11 now (I'm 11 years older) and has gotten better. She can be irritable, argumentative and have a difficult time just letting things go but I'm not nearly as worried about her as I used to be.
@@LA-Creative(sorry for late reply) ya know, im not sure exactly, i was a lot younger and more worried about middle school during that time. medication has helped too aswell as just being firm with her. She just started middle school herself and has overcome the violent tendencies but has to be careful how she speaks to people.
That poor mother who asked the question… the answer was shocking. My 35 year old son was diagnosed adhd and odd at age 6, started on Ritalin and developed Tourette’s. He controls the Tourette’s in social settings well, and he claims his adhd is no longer an issue, but as for his odd, as long as I maintain my patience, we generally get along okay. He hasn’t had any issues keeping jobs, no trouble with the law, but I still worry about him all the time. Life must be so hard and frustrating for them, especially as children. 😢
Well, those were secundary effects. I still refuse to understand why we have to give such small children medicine to change them. Why do we want them to tame so badly. I guess each escenario is different but this story is sad and you had and your husband had a lot to deal with it
@@marte1376 I could see my son struggling at school, his teacher was HORRIBLE to him, he was always in trouble for not listening/ following instructions, he had some ocd as well, so I would have done anything to be honest, to make his life easier. I was bullied myself at school, and it absolutely broke my heart seeing this happen to him, so yes, we tried Ritalin, for two weeks the change was mind blowing, but the tics started, and that was the end of the meds. 😢
@@marte1376one of the reasons we attempt to treat CHILDREN is so we don't have to LOCK UP adults. Feel free to Google the most common psych diagnosis in prison AND then come back and ask this question. So many of those humans could have been treated as kids and has a great life. Aggressive forms of ODD and CD, specifically, spiral OUT OF CONTROL into violence and sociopathy.
@@texasgirlmomx2342 sure but so many families and doctors refuse to give children with these problems an integral evaluation and treatment that can go beyond medicine. People just want a pill to change their kids without them making an effort to change their educational skills. I know it's a complex problem because I have a brother that is very aggressive, my mother is a teacher and has seen a severe case of aggressiveness in a small kid of 4 years and pills are the last option when there are other forms of therapy. Also, mistreatment and abuse in their families can be a response of these kids. It's not their problem, some things are correlated to other factors like abuse from their main caregivers
I had a cousin who was a textbook case of ODD. (I use the past tense, because he committed suicide when he was 26.) During his infancy, he had failure to thrive. He was also neglected by his mother when he was older. I think that to him, even negative attention was good attention. More than once, he was sent away to a boys' ranch for truancy in his teen years. He was very obnoxious and manipulative and knew what buttons to press. He developed a drug problem in his later years and became paranoid and delusional and had hallucinations. He began to stockpile weapons. This may sound bad, but when he killed himself, I was just glad that he took himself out and no one else.
My parents took a picture of themselves with a "don't walk on the grass" sign when they were still engaged in 1961. It was the most rebellious thing they ever did 😁 (My mom was raised Catholic, so had to confess. She couldn't think of anything, which was not excepted by the priest. So she made up stuff, stealing a cookie and such, and ended with what she did right there: "and I lied".)
I tend to hate authority figures for the most part but I don't have ODD, I just think the kind of people who gravitate towards positions of power 99 percent of the time are the last ones you would want in a position of power over you. The best bosses, and politicians I have lived under are the ones who got the job despite not wanting it due to necessity, every boss/politician I have lived under who wanted the job always turned out to be a complete power hungry immoral tyrant.
This right here. Honestly, this "disorder" feels like something made up so that these people can claim there's something wrong with you for not wanting to live under their rule.
But just acting like positivity will attract positivity without teaching children how to be positive doesn't really work. The fact is in life we will have so called tyrants for bosses or teachers and co workers. Teaching our children to deal with it in a positive way by helping them develop those life skills is so much more effective than hopium and wishing for the best. The fact is not everyone is kind or fair or positive in the world. Being afraid of teaching these truths is a disservice. Teaching children the skills they need to succeed in those environments is valuable.
True but a person with emotional intelligence knows that defying authority can be dangerous. Let's not just act on anger and prejudices or stereotypes like in your case.
I used to babysit a 3yo just like this. When I'd show up to her house she'd take one look at me and yell "NO! YOU GO HOME!!" I was always super nice to her, and gave her a lot of leeway. I never backed her into a corner, and gave her lots of choices. I figured out pretty quick that if I didn't want her to do something, all I had to do was order her to do it! "Don't close the door. I like fresh air." She slams the door. Mission accomplished! 2 of her older siblings also had ODD and ADHD, and struggled a lot in school. Her older brother had to be home schooled, and the older sister went to a small private school where the mom volunteered. The older sister has since matured and is a wonderful woman now, the older brother is still argumentative and immature, and now the 3yo is 12, and struggling in school. They have amazing parents. The mom has infinite patience, and the dad doesn't take it personally when he's verbally or physically attacked. He only raises his voice if he thinks that fighting could lead to massive bleeding or broken bones. All the child psychiatrists have told them that there's nothing that can be done but to keep them safe, and hope they will grow out of it.
I would say the adult who has this may be very aware that they have a problem with authority, and thus intentionally sought a career where they can make independent decisions. They found workarounds.
No, that isn't how it works, because there are always people in their lives who are authorities. From the head mechanic at the garage, the widget maker that refuses to send them what they want, to the doctor who won't sign off on disability, to the cop who stops them for rolling through the sign. They see themselves as discriminated against, because they think they should be allowed to do what they wish.
@cathy people should be allowed to do what they wish as long as it doesn’t hurt other people. Things such as adults not wearing a seatbelt or smoking pot in your own home. Both of which are victimless crimes.
@@Cathy-xi8cbI know they do that, but it doesn't solve everything. Stuff comes up, as you said. If they are not the most extreme cases, they know that there will be challenging situations, but generally they're ok because most of the time, for example, their job, it's a situation they can control.
I’m a nanny and I cared for a four year old who obviously had odd. With my urging they got him checked out and after he began therapy, which led me to believe he was diagnosed, but they weren’t telling me because nannies who care for children with special needs are well compensated and they didn’t want to compensate me for being bitten and attacked multiple times per day. They decided to bury their heads in the sand and stop therapy in hopes that he would out grow it… meanwhile other children and animals had to suffer while they waited for that day that never came. I’m glad I’ve seen this.
Thank you Dr Tracey. 🤱 For helping us to understand this type of disorder. There are so many different disorders I don't even know where to begin. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to help us to understand this and all other disorders.
So on point, I had a childhood friend who had untreated ADHD and ODD, then developed ASPD. I remember being terrified of her, because she enjoyed her vindictiveness, she would smile and found nothing wrong with provoking people into fights. It was years after I lost touch with her, that another friend told me that.
Suspect my brother has ODD. In our teen years I asked dad to send him to military school so the family could get a break. If not send me to military school so I could escape him. He could be such a bully.
This is not a teenager rebelling behavior or acting out when they come to the age. It starts when he barely walked as a young child and doesn’t go away with age just amplifies it from not wanting playing with a toy to not wanting to go to school or listening to anyone either parents, teachers, principals or psychologist it doesn’t matter if it is a authority figure. Only continuing working alongside with a psychiatrist to help the child regulate their impulses and not acting out on their negative emotions , also they are keeping grudges and deflecting their wrong decisions into everybody else except themselves trying to blame others for their actions. It makes no difference in environment or with whom for acting out when are triggered and they will tried to push all buttons to see how far they can get. I repeat it shows signs in the early age and continues into teenage years. Thank you
That sounds right, but one thing is that everyone has more authority or power than a young child. Only younger children are less powerful. If it's pure ODD, they probably are alright with peers and younger kids.
What an extraordinary affliction. Without putting a label on it & trying to find medication to suppress this affliction, could it just simply be, that, particularly young children, don’t like the environment they are forced into, such as school & their only preservation, would be to rebel agains it. I speak from experience, feeling that I never fitted in as a child, surrounded by other children all wearing the same uniform & been taught the same things. My unique creativity & my authentic individuality suppressed, just to suit others. Because someone is different, these days, we put labels on them & suggest that they are somehow Ill or deficient.
I felt like that all my life and have never have been given a label but suspect I have ASD, we shouldn't be too strict with labels we're all different but they can be useful to get the right sort of help.
I mean the thing about the label is it helps get a kids support, especially in school environments. And I don't think assaulting peers and teachers, becoming easily irritated, and requiring everybody to walk on eggshells around you so as not to provoke you is simply being wildly authentic or free. That kind of behavior is pretty isolating and harmful for both the person engaging in it as well as the people around them.
One thing to know: This personality order has been defined recently by the establishment and really is a way to villify anyone who is a "conspiracy theorist" or someone that has issue with authoritarian government. Take the Milgram experiment or the Stanford Prison Study experiment for example. It was found that the typical person obeys authority figures no matter how heinous the orders given to them, believes authority figures without question, and that people in general tend to abuse their authority when in a position of power. This issue of blind compliance and belief in central authority is not being addressed by the establishment.
I definitely felt my individuality was suppressed, but that only made me more empathetic and aware of others' issues. So that's no excuse for bullying and making everyone around you miserable.
Wholly shi...😮 I literally was watching a documentary "Heal" today and learned that it's one of the lesser known symptoms of trauma. Thanks for giving me the video right on time.
I have similar issues as people with ODD and ADHD with my TBI-(Traumatic Brain Injury).. I have a "broken filter"mentally and emotionally at times that has costs me several friendships... 😢...
With everything going on right now, we'll have regrets for things we did not participate in...Investment should always be on any creative man's heart for success in life.
the best decision I ever made in my life was investing in financial market. Trust me guys, it pays a lot. I have come to realize that trading bitcoin is more profitable than holding it and waiting for it to skyrocket. If you trade without a expert then you are gambling and have no business in trading..
@arun_- Fergus waylen is an expert trader, he uses both manual and algorithmic trading techniques To trade..he is amazing, a friend introduced me to him too.
I'm honestly surprised that this name is being mentioned here, I stumbled upon one of his clients testimony last two months in CNBC world news and decided to try him out...I'm Expecting my third cashout in 2days
I just feel like crying watching this cos it’s what my son is currently struggling with and I feel like no matter how hard I try to help him it just isn’t enough! He’s waiting for his assessment so isn’t diagnosed yet but his school spoke to me about him possibly having it and everything in this video matches my sons behaviour. The good thing is he’s not defiant at home it’s ONLY at school. The teachers definitely trigger him and don’t give a damn about it either! I’m struggling so bad right now!
This is my son. I noticed little things when he was younger. But it really kicked in at 16. He's 22 now and he's a nightmare. It's a war every day. Everything shebsays, he does especially to me. Even though everyone in the house is fair game to him. And he's a klepto on top of everything.....
My sister fit every single box. The way my parent made me feel guilty because not only I can see it…. But everyone around us sees it.. how evil she was . She had it since she was a toddler ! Manipulating the adults she could. Everyone called her a little devil spawn. My mom had faith in her. And now that mom has passed. 4 YEARS.!! After her death,… the child you loved more than your own biological kids!! still hasn’t changed and there is no fixing it.!!
Thank you.. Somehow have a student that put me in rage while destroy property and blame it on my poor behavior to manage her. I feel that I did something wrong, but it is not on me to fix her. Hope the best for her.
Good Evening Dr Marks, I hope my message finds you well. Thank you for this informative video DR. MARKs. I wish I had a brain like yours to become a fully accomplished physician. Unfortunately, It is too late and that ship has sailed for me, I have always resented myself for not pursuing post-secondary education My regrets are embedded in me as a reminder. Needless to say, my undying love, curiosity and fascination for medicine and any science related to humanity were there in the past and will always remain. I loved your book. the book was very beautifully put together for reference purposes. Thank you, Humble Regards Amandeep Singh Edmonton AB, Canada
Dont worry parents. I was diagnosed as a small child. My life isnt great, and i never grew out of it. But I'm a good person just have issues with authority. If i had a loving family i would be better off. Even without I'm fine.
Our son didn't really show this all that much to his teachers, the lashing out at teachers. He became unhinged at home. The one thing though is he didn't take ownership for his failures.
Can you do a video on the difference between ODD and PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance). I was diagnosed ADHD and ODD as a child, but very recently diagnosed ADHD and Autism. I’m curious if the ODD was misdiagnosed when I was a kid because Autism wasn’t diagnosed in girls or in people who needed less support and PDA wasn’t known about at all.
I actually just learned about PDA the other day. My little sister was diagnosed with ADHD, major depressive disorder, and ODD years ago. I'm starting to think that she could potentially but maybe not be also autistic, but I'm willing to bet she probably likely has PDA instead of ODD.
Dear, you have constructed your thoughts so well by structured sentences, how come you have autism ? We all have a bit of self-doubt at times, but labelling ourselves too rigidly often have negative consequences, is not that so ? Love and best wishes.
One of my nieces just got diagnosed with this. Idk if my older sister was diagnosed with it as a kid as my father never took us to drs unless he had to but thinking back to my childhood, her behavior makes so much sense.
As someone with many gastrointestinal autoimmune diseases, all it started during kindergarten with Pica disorder ( Anemia). I realized that many of the symtoms comes from inflammation and severe malnourishment ( iron, vitamin D, vitamin B complex such B1, B2, B6, B9 and B13, Zinc and many others) Also homocysteine can be associated.
As a 38 yr old with odd and add I disagree, I'm always angry at others but usually internalize it as my own inability to to understand a situation and then grow more angry at myself, it has always been my fault for being unable to cope with my disabilities
Wishing you peace❤ Most ODDs act out because the source of the turmoil or conflict from their p.o.v. is external. Self critical reflection is usually VERY hard for the ODD person.
There is so much stigma around ODD but it's often present with other things. Often too there is alot of overlap between PDA (Pathological demand avoidance) which is a characteristic of autism.
Would like to hear your take on PDA - pathological demand avoidance as a feature of adult autism. Seems a pretty controversial but apt explanation for inexplicable behaviors.
@@allbirdsarecats Not sure why you're conversing with me, but howdy and happy new year. I don't think it's normie to defend or explain yourself to others with shame and victimization, and don't equate pathological demand avoidance with personal empowerment, confidence or a stable sense of self.That whole "pathology" part makes if a very thorny problem for unfortunate people who cross his path, expecting cooperation.
Nice. The first time I found information on ODD that doesn't assume it just disappears and doesn't exist in adults. I'm pretty sure this is what my mom has. I always assumed it was narcissism but that doesn't quite fit. This does though.
This has a lot of genetic factors in it, but I'm convinced there's an upbringing factor in it too. Father -> Diagnosed Bipolar Mother -> Diagnosed ADHD Brother -> Diagnosed ADHD Sister -> Diagnosed ADHD + ODD + Bipolar Me -> Diagnosed ADHD + ODD + Antisocial
I had a therapist who was also my mothers therapist and after just two or three sessions he suggested I could potentially be odd. Having never heard of it I looked it up and knew immediately that wasn’t me in any way. This was a year ago when I was 50 and Being that he was also my mothers therapist ..I’ll now have to always wonder what the hell my mom told him to make him think that so soon into my sessions.
if it 'develops' in abusive and neglectful homes, why is it not PTSD? how are these behaviors not defense mechanisms? I know a lot of folks struggling with PTS that have explosive tempers, impulse control problems, all of this.... but I'd never diagnose an adult with ODD!
That's a good question and one I battled with. My foster child was diagnosed with PTSD and just recently with ODD. In the DSM it nearly always says 'unless better explained by something else' or something along those lines. As he was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD we were able to explain his behaviours with both of those so he wasn't diagnosed with ODD. After two years we managed to get his PTSD pretty well managed and his ADHD is going pretty good but the behaviours continued. So we can no longer say it is better explained so he is diagnosed with ODD.
Because psychiatry didn't develop around root causes. It's an authoritarian perspective and typically views disorders from how inconvenient it is for others vs the actual experience of the person.
@@zhay3437 "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a sick society." My brother' psychiatrist said that to him when he returned to Afghanistan and had anger issues. My brother hated our society. The psychiatrist told him there was nothing wrong with him. He just saw society was selfish and that soldiers don't adjust well to living as we intended, as a group of 20 people, to living isolated lonely lives. We found his anger inconvenient but he said the anger was justified. I think looking at the development of psychiatry doesn't show what it is now. That psychiatrist gave us some books to read on tribal society and as a result we decided to live as a multi-generational family. No medication. No authoritarian doctor. Just knowledge.
Thank you so much for your work and services! I work on an inpatient unit and my team and I have been watching your videos, such real practical education! Could you do a video for us about what someone with cluster C would look like practically? I would like to hear about the ridged intrusive thoughts, resistance to treatments/reasons for a lack of lasting change, and how each type in the cluster coexist while one could be dominant. Thank you in advance!!
I followed authority with no issues until I was abused by some then I lost respect for certain kinds of ppl and will dig my heels if they try any bs with me.
I had this as a kid/teen. I’m 44 now and have borderline personality disorder. I acted and felt like a sociopath when I was a kid, and at some point that flipped and. Went full on BPD.
I feel like this is a really common thing. I had a neighborhood friend growing up who had this his whole entire life and probably still does now is a thirty-year-old adult. And then I also had a teenage friend and she definitely had this and I kind of think she still does. She ended up trying to fight a cop when she was like 25 and she weighs like 120 pounds and she got her teeth broken. She's my friend, I don't think less of her, but I just wish that she hadn't done that. And it's just kind of interesting because I always felt that she was so defiant for no clear reason. I mean I understand that the cops are fucked up but what is attacking them going to do? Maybe it's less of a problem with being defiant and more about just working harder instead of smarter
My mum (not a psychologist, bearing in mind) told me I had ODD when i was 13. She thought I was ‘hard work’ and ‘defiant’ and ‘rebellious’ and apparently i acted like a dick to her all the time. What actually was happening was she had a persecution complex and suffered paranoid delusions due to undiagnosed bipolar disorder at the time, and our relationship was a nightmare to handle because of her lack of medication and therapy. I only acted out towards her, never anyone else, and even though the times i did act out were small, inconvenient issues, she took them very very personally and they felt amplified to her.
When I was a child, I enjoyed being BAD... I was bored and curious - public school was a drag... I was reading college text books in the third grade, so my parents bought 2 sets of Encyclopedias... That kept me busy for a whole year...
Well, you were gifted and bad. I also read everything years ahead of everyone else, like in kindergarten, and found school boring, but I was well behaved. I can't diagnose you, but it might not be ODD.
My sister displayed a lot of the traits of ODD as a child (two of her children have since been diagnosed with ADHD). She herself displays a lot of the traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Does make you wonder if there's some kind of overlap between ODD and NPD.
Having a kid with ODD must come with a lot of guilt and feel like you’re raising a psychopath. I can’t imagine how I’d react to a kid that doesn’t respond to any type of discipline (positive reinforcement, positive punishment, etc)
No, parenting a psychopath is easier because they are often socially smooth. Think Ted Bundy. Able to look far more normal until they slit your throat. Sometimes WHILE they slit your throat. THESE folks are a dangerous pain from morning to night.
The only child I know of who had this diagnosis was only behaving that way because his mother was micromanaging an pushing him over the edge (emotionally) all the time. He often mimicked his mothers behavior with others. He was quite young. Of course his mother wasn’t about to show that side to a counselor, so it appeared to all stem from the child alone. Such bullshit. He had a rough time through school years, but is now doing quite well. He’s calm and loving. His mom became more careful once her son’s behavior became more like hers with time. Unfortunately, the mom is STILL abusive to her son’s father. So now, when I hear of this diagnosis, I will always wonder if the child’s behavior really stems from abuse elsewhere.
I have a kid with ODD and we have gone through cognitive behavior therapy and we are using an anti seizure medicine because he would begin an episode and completely black out on his actions after 45 to 90 minutes of screaming and throwing/breaking things, simply because I told him it was bath time. It took a lot of patience (something I did not always show my children) but I learned to respond instead of react. That was the hardest thing. Along with not responding to his threats, throwing things, etc. And to be honest, just down right ignoring that behavior until he got tired. Then I would persist with the original request (bath time) and he would relent and begrudgingly go along. Eventually, over the course of about 2 years, he now showers on his own for the most part and complies with *most* of my directives. I completely changed my parenting style and I stopped listening to advice from people who never dealt with it or thought I was just being a pushover. I am not a pushover but I also do have some defiance in my own personality that I've had to deal with as a result of this. Parenting is hard and I've had to heal some childhood wounds to deal with his.
I have two children (adults now) who have this and it did not get easier. It is frightening , my Son is the most extreme as far as acting OUT and arguing with anyone in authority. My Daughter loves to annoy people and hates rules and she has never taken ownership of her actions. They do not live at home but I do financially support one to keep them out of my home. They also LOVE to play victim and they use people like kleenex.
As some have already mentioned in comments, please don't self diagnose. I was the oldest bio kid in a family that fosters and the majority of my foster siblings had ODD diagnosis's along with several others but frankly, so much of it was a trauma response. Also, as already mentioned as well in the comments, sometimes these collection of traits is more to so with a sensory and perception disorder and their response to their environment looks like ODD.
I was diagnosed with ODD when I was a child. I'm much much better now but I sometimes still have impulsive aggressive feelings and feel like people are trying to "attack" me.
@@myidentityisinjesus8880 be stern with them and discipline them. Allow them to face their consequences. Don't ignore them because that can be a trigger, but don't continually give into their behavior. Stand firm.
I just want to say that I was a pre school teacher for over 40 years. Most of my class was filled with preschool children who had been kicked out of other preschools for defiant behaviors. Some serious such as choking other children ECT. My room had three rules ( because I feel at that age most violations fit into these categories) Be Neat Be Safe Be Kind I stuck to those rules and anything children did in violation meant they had to come talk to me and I would ask their side of the story. After they explained their side I would remind them of the three rules and ask them which do they think they broke? Maybe they didn't keep hands to themselves or maybe not being kind ECT. Then I would do the same with the other child who the conflict was with. Then after talking to them both separately I would talk to them together or rather allow them to talk with each other while to solve the difficulties. Generally I just would ask opened ended questions such as how did it make you feel when so and do did this to you. Walking them through their emotions helped immensely and allowed them the opportunity to develop critical thinking skills to help control their emotions and behaviors. The Book Love and logic also is very helpful because it allows children to develop self control BUT parents must be committed to stick with and be consistent with the steps . Consultancy is the key. I myself was one of those defiant young teenagers but we had stuff going on in my family at the time. Ppl don't always have time to deal with their children if they have their own problems going on. Children generally will show you how they feel if they have no way of talking through their emotions. First look at your situation. Are you being consistent in your own life? What negative things children being exposed to? What are you as parents doing to help them with self control? Do you carve out time to talk with your children? No not how was school?. Tell me about your day! What was a good thing that happened? What was a bad thing that happened? Find out what's triggering the behavior. There's always a reason
I read that ODD can be from not getting enough quality time but only getting attention when doing unwanted behavior by being scolded .. and also they have a high co- depression and or anxiety
My grandson acts up in the house. Many things you mentioned describe him except that in school he behaves. As soon as he gets in the car, his attitude changes. His mom was diagnosed with this disorder. She’s also bipolar as me and her sister. I see much of his mom when she was a child in him.
Sometimes with neurodivergent kids (even if its not ODD, if it's autism, etc) they use up all of their mental resources to behave at school and then once they are safe they break. There could be more going on, like bullying, that they are just swallowing.
@@skytower1662 there has been some bullying situation in this new school but his behavior began when he was 3 years old. He began school at 5. But he has also gone through a lot for his age. Too many changes. It could be that he’s unconsciously rebelling. But he’s extremely aggressive, he does things out of spite. Against everyone, not just mom. She’s the only one that gets the physical because he knows better. He is having another evaluation next week. He was diagnosed with ADHD but this was through COVID lockdown so the doctor couldn’t make an evaluation to a 4 year old through a computer camera. Let’s see what happens. My youngest was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder at the age of 4 even when they couldn’t label it as such cause of her age and his mom when she was 12. I sometimes feel he has no real remorse of what he does and likes to mistreat my dogs since he was very little. Throwing one over the fence and putting the other one in the washing machine, pinching them or pulling their tails. This last was last year to my pitbull. Thank God she has always been a sweet patient and non aggressive dog. Thanks for your input. Much appreciated.
My grandson has severe OCD and Tourettes which can be confused with ODD because he becomes desperate that we feed his OCD. He is the same, good away from home and authority but he can only go so long and when he gets home all the compulsions come out. Medication helps alot.
@@2busysecretary it must be really difficult for them. I guess they have none or little control over it. It took me years to manage my disorder and I still and think never will have full control of it. Only discipline in my treatment and anything else that can be of help to keep a positive state of mind.
It sounds like a subset or euphemism for antisocial personality disorder, or psychopath or sociopath. That would be rough, I really think some kids are just predisposed towards personality disorders.
Listening to this, my main thought was ‘wait til she starts killing pets’….the childhood pastime of Ted Bundy, who, as a KID, did exactly that, including hitting a girl over the head with a brick.
I know an old grown man since He was 7 and once I said to the mother He got ODD never diagnosed until these days, He as person is unbearable nobody wants to be with him,mother never did anything He continues the same.
We label every behaviour. Some people are just evil or ass....s yet we excuse everything and no one is made to be accountable for bad behaviour. It needs to stop
Authority certainly doesn't need to be obeyed. There are a good deal of "leaders" I would gladly and openly oppose. Teaching children "just obey" is insane.
It's not just to obey, it's build discernment to when it's actually fighting for something unfair. I've seen kids like these, they're insane because they don't seem to respond to any kind of teaching or punishment. They suffer a lot, make people suffer a lot too. It's not something easy
I was diagnosed with odd as a child, recieved therapy for it (horrible therapy but still). And it's really interesting to see all the parents and professionals on here complaining about the behavior. I think more people need to understand that while we do enjoy getting a rise out of others, the aftermath is not fun nor desireable. And the time leading up to it is also not fun or enjoyable. I grew up with a lack of emotional guidance because nobody wanted to deal with the very strong feelings I had, so they'd just sit me in a corner and hoped I'd sort myself out. Children who are not taught emotional regulation or self soothing techniques will not automatically aquire those skills with age. I was subjected to harsh disipline, and well, my behavior has only slightly improved and I plan to never speak to my parents again after graduation. As a 17 year old, I am begging parents and therapists and educators to please not give up on their children. Giving up on them will only cement them to a dark future. Use disipline with compassion. Give reasoning for rules and explain when necessary. We are not all destined to grow up to be sociopaths or narcissists. I'm open to any further discussion.
This ODD is a symptom of abuse and neglect
That’s why I’m watching this- I’m a teacher and I’m about to lose it because I can’t figure what to do to help my students. There isn’t a diagnosis but I see similar behavior’s to ODD in my student so I’m searching for tips.
Thanks but my daughter just doesnt give a shit about soothing techniques when im trying to tell her. She insists everyone else is a problem and need to adjust.
@@Przepoczwarzeniebeing that you’re here trying to get it figured out, that’s a good sign. i dont think my parents extended their resources properly to try to help. they let a problem stay a problem for a very very long time- while i had no awareness of the pit i’d end up in. even though they did have emotions involved, the drive to help didn’t take things far.
good luck to you and your family. keep going and keep trying until the problem ends up properly resolved
@@spill4155 they didnt have tons of help from internet like i do. Its a blessing. Im sorry you didnt get help hou deserved
I worked with a 6 years old boy with this. The only thing that finally helped was to give him control, within reason of course, and let him suffer the consequences. It was really rough for his parents and us teachers at first but the kid finally figured it out. The hardest part was that this child was really smart and could come up with some very convincing lies to avoid taking responsibility for his actions. I remember how hurt and embarrassed his parents were when we showed proof from the playground security cameras that he was at fault. He is older now and doing much better❤
And what profession are you?
My son showed signs of it at age 2. He was diagnosed at 5 or 6. He is 20 now, and has not grown out of it, but he is NOT a monster thank GOD❤😊.
Raising him was the most difficult task I will ever have to do in my lifetime.
But did you resented having him as your son sometimes
@@rajanlad3646 only now. (Resenting) He is almost 21…I am not allowing his behavior any longer..and he is lashing out..but I’m holding my ground.🙄
Did they put him medication
As a former teacher, I can tell you that when you get a student like this-you are completely and utterly worn out and often end up in tears. It feels like there’s no “real help” from any school program since those with it don’t qualify as “emotionally disturbed.” These are kids who destroy the classroom (causing the rest of the class to evacuate so admin can intervene), argue with the teacher about just about every single thing, and bully other kids. Parents seem to have fewer problems than teachers because they are one on one with the child, versus a teacher who has 21 other students whose needs she is trying to meet. Parents can give these kids a time out in a SEPARATE room but teachers really can’t do that because we can’t leave a child unattended. They can go to the office to be in a separate space but that is a tough situation as well. Schools need to have more support for kids who struggle with this on every single campus. Children with ODD would definitely benefit from a smaller class size with more adult support. They have big emotions and don’t know how to process them so having someone trained in behavioral disorders needs to be teaching that class. It seems that being in a gen ed class all day with 21 other personalities and a teacher is very triggering for a child with ODD.
Great insight! There is not enough support for teachers to manage it all, supporting one student while potentially compromising the needs of the entire class. A smaller class size is a great suggestion with more consistent reliable one on one attention for students w ODD
@bbearsmama here’s a solution for you genius. Quit forcing kids into school who don’t want to be there (compulsory schooling). Problem solved👍
I'm dealing with this at the moment. I really don't know what to do, I have given so much support to this child and I never raise my voice. He despises me and has a strong grip on the classroom with violent and manipulative behaviour I've never seen before! He's primarily like this with me, but luckily my colleagues have observed the behaviour and obviously the kids. He's started to display personality switches and lying. For example, he will act extremely sad and clingy around parents and as soon as they leave, he will grin and resume usual chaotic behaviours. I keep telling myself he's just a kid and mulling over what I'm doing wrong. It's mentally exhausting. I am terrified to impose consequences because it adds more fuel to the fire. I cannot win in any situation. They put an aid in my room who is terrified of him. It makes me very sad because I know he's suffering as well, but I have to protect my class as well. It's past a point of control now. Any minor disciplinary action I provide results in disproportionate resentment and horrible name calling, screaming, death stares etc Does anyone have any advice?! 😅
@@benedictcumberbatch4275 -Do you think parents REALLY want kids to NOT go to school? Trust me-these are the kids who never miss a single day. The parents want and need a break as well. They likely feel very overwhelmed about how to help their child. If parents don't want their kids in public school-they have the option of homeschooling or sending their child to a private school. (Private schools won't tolerate violent behavior, though-unless it is a school that is focused on helping kids with behavioral and/or emotional problems).
If only we had more teachers per student. I think a 1 to 10 ratio of teacher to student would be way more effective. Other countries with that ratio seem to have much happier students. Also designing schools to look less prison-like would be helpful too but I suppose thats a budget problem
I've been diagnosed with ODD since I was 12, I'm 37, I've spent nearly a decade in prison, this is a very real disorder!
how are you doing now? can you manage it?
Oh no. I hope your insights can help you figure out work arounds for the future. Remember not everyone wants to control you. We just want to get stuff done. Except some narcissist toxic bosses. But most people just want cooperation to reach a goal.
I have an ODD kid. Was there anything that worked to get you to really take what you did seriously? My kid always says, "I don't think it's a big deal" even when it's a huge and dangerous big deal. Any insight or advice?
It took years before anyone would take me seriously and actually examine my son, but finally he was diagnosed with ODD. I would explain everything very carefully, to the point of tears, but the doctors just made me feel like I don't know how to parent, despite the fact that my other kids weren't having those issues. When they explained what it was and how it worked, everything made sense.
As a former sp.ed. teacher, ODD or CD was one of the worst diagnosis of kid's I worked with. The level and intensity of the outbursts, violence, lies and aggression was draining. It felt like you were always walking into an MMA match EVERY SINGLE DAY for no reason at all. Those students ENJOY conflict and confrontation, and almost NEED IT to be happy. It was very sad and seemed like a path to sociopathy. 💔🤯🤦
I was just about to say.. seems like a path to a personality disorder because they have some similarities.
My daughter has it. It's a living hell. Do you know how those kids turned out? I worry so much about her future. She's 14 now and she is making risky choices with boys.
You just described every gender non conformist.
alright so i hate making myself angry for no reason but i need to clear some air here. i have ODD myself and i want to say that this mindset is a bit misconstrued. yes, i'm very sorry that those children were difficult, obviously i was [and still am, sadly] myself. but accusing them of enjoying hurting people and being SOCIOPATHS is i wanna say a *bit* much? in fact i actually really hate confrontations. but i don't like misinformation, which is the main reason i'm writing this reply right now actually. i'll apologize on their behalf and say i'm sorry that your experience was negative. that's basically unavoidable, i'll point out, we do have a short temper. but closing your mind to them is only gonna be a self-fulfilling prophecy i'm afraid
@@kattozilla74 I appreciate you adding to the conversation, I'm always so glad to see a comment from someone who has ODD. We parents are always commenting but it's rare to hear it from your point of view. I have a question for you. Our lives have been so beyond difficult and exhausting. Our adopted daughter, my cousin is 14. Our family friends offered to have her over the summer, longer if needed. The mom in the family is a special Ed teacher and deals with behavioral issues. The dad is no nonsense, strong and will stick to what he says. I slept 10 1/2 hours last night for the first time in years and I haven't had to check my GPS to see if she is home, first thing when I wake up for a week. At 14 she has taken off 4 times in the last year and twice brought home by the cops. She was in the mental health ward at the hospital for a week for telling the teachers she wants to 💀. My question is, do you see from your life experience, if things will potentially get better or do they have to get worse before they get better or will her life always be like it is? I know you don't have a Chrystal Ball and you don't know us but honestly, I'm just desperate for any insight. Thanks for your time and help ❤️
My daughter was diagnosed with ODD/ADHD and finally Autism. Everything you discussed today fits her perfectly. She was honestly this way from birth. I recognized that she was very different and had issues while she was a toddler. Her meltdowns were horrible and they happened anywhere and all the time. I had to remove her from private preschool because of it and the fact that she would attack younger children. She was only 3 years old. We got Early Childhood Intervention involved when she was only 18 months old. This diagnosis isolates the family. What it has done to my life is beyond my ability to put into words. She threw over desks, threw pencil boxes at teachers, cursed them and finally in 8th grade did what I always feared would come. She assaulted a teacher and attacked a police officer. She had absolutely no respect or fear toward anyone. Her anxiety could provoke rage. We did have to remove her from school to protect other people but now at the age of 18, she has a really great psychiatrist who has medicated her to the point that she’s not violent. She can still meltdown, but I can control her somewhat. Yes, this diagnosis is pure hell..not just for the family and loved ones but also for the person being diagnosed. I have hope that eventually down the road she will be able to live an independent life, but until she’s way older, she will stay with me because I can’t bear the thought of what she could do to another person and I love her very much and don’t want anything to happen to her. Thank you for this video. I would like to add that I can personally tell you that this is genetic. My daughter is adopted. I know her birth mother and her birth father. Both have issues and her birth mother was diagnosed bipolar. In hindsight and because I have raised this child just like I raised my own children and in the same home with the same structure and rules…I have come to believe it’s inherited. We have done everything you mentioned. She’s had a psychiatric nurse since she was 4 years old and a private counselor even until now. She is medicated and is indeed on an antipsychotic. Now, she’s being diagnosed with an antisocial disorder. Her birth father has that diagnosis.
You are a warrior mom. I see your hard work.
Dang, I am sure U wouldn’t do this but I would have thrown her back n the pool, but I never wanted to be a parent. Hopefully she will get better for her sake and society. She sounds dangerous.
Can u please make a video about self- diagnose.
@@baharmohamad850 why would she make a vdeo about self diagnosis? Can't you read? or are you going to mansplain to us now?
I hope you are letting this child's problems take away attention and care for your other kids. Don't let someone's bloodline ruin your own.
What worries me, as someone who has trouble following rules that make no sense to me, is that a child asking why a rule is in place might be considered to simply be being defiant. Some adults seem unable to recognize that children are people with minds of their own.
EDIT FOR PEOPLE WHO FAIL TO UNDERSTAND THAT LAST SENTENCE: SOME ADULTS CAN'T COMPREHEND ANY SORT OF DISOBEDIENCE BEING NORMAL AND HEALTHY AND THAT IS WHAT CONCERNS ME
This!
Ok but as a Mom who has a 20 year old who was diagnosed at 8 as having ODD...there is a definite pattern of behavior that is far beyond normal childhood questioning and defiance.I have a 5 and 3 year old currently are like a dream after raising my 20 year old. It's not as you are stating it. It's constant and pervasive.
@@pennyp7382 Like anything else, the diagnosis will be used for a range of behaviors. ADHD is a single diagnosis but the impact and behaviors vary widely.
And without a thorough family history and dive into all of the things that could be going on, even have 1 child of 3 that's significantly different in behavior doesn't necessarily mean that ODD is the most accurate explanation.
@Zhay I raised my son and that diagnosis fits all too well.
@@pennyp7382 I realize you raised your son. I'm not saying the diagnosis doesn't fit. I'm saying that there may be better diagnoses. People, especially children, get misdiagnosed often.
I'm 40 and I absolutely lived my entire life with this. I've never known until now why I instinctually defied authority until now. Thank you for making this video.
Didn't Ann Frank defy 'authority'. You want to be very careful about agreeing with this so called disorder.
It means u have a brain. Its not a disorder to not be a robot slave.
Amen.
Do you have any insight or advice for us parents?
@@myidentityisinjesus8880I do.
1) Don't medicate children with psychiatric drugs.
2) learn from the kid. Politicians have lied to you over and over and over again, yet you still follow their rules. YOU'RE the one with a mental disorder
I have ODD, I was diagnosed at a really young age. And its true, its pure hell for the person who has ODD and for those around. I would always hit people, throw things, and destroy things. I've tamed down over the years and as a adolescent going into young adults years, I can see exactly why people online don't really like me. I have manipulated and basically bullied people just out of spite. I've said hurtful things that i geniunely didn't mean to say, but i just dont have the rightful control of my emotions to prevent myself from doing or saying something wrong. Heres one thing to NEVER say to someone who has ODD or has trouble regulating their emotions. "Oh you can control and think before you do or say something" Never. And i mean NEVER say this to someone who has ODD! Some of us, have NO control whatsoever on what we say or do. Half the time, we dont even realize we are doing something wrong. My parents used corporal punishment (or spanking) as a punishment method when i was younger. My mom eventually realized, that you can't discipline someone who has ADHD, ODD, Autism or any other disorder this way. She eventually got my dad to stop this punishment. My dad is likely where I inherited my ODD from, since he also shows some of the symptoms of ODD. The best way to talk to someone with ODD, is that if you notice signs of passive aggression, snarky or snippy remarks or any sign of anger or annoyance. Just leave them alone by themself to cool off. They need time alone.
I'd love to see research differentiating pda profile ASD from ODD (especially in the context of childhood trauma), especially given the link between ADHD and ODD, given we already know a statistical link between ADHD and ASD.
FWIW having worked with kids with ODD, and ASD, I never found any overlap.
The kid with ASD could be a "handful" and have melt downs. It was almost always because of 1) poor communication skills, 2) sensory overload or 3) really poor theory of mind. They never had the vindictive behaviors or the never ending challenge everything behaviors kids with ODD have.
The kid with ASD could have violent behaviors, but would never set a trash can on fire or deliberately slam another kid's head into the wall just because.
KIds with ODD you never ever argued. You give them 3 choices, but you load those choices towards what you want. It usually work for me.
I found that however "horrible " the ODD kid was at school, they were 1000x worse at home. I found they at least tried, no matter how poor their efforts seemed at school.
@@lilbatz thanks for sharing your experience! I am wondering if in this analysis you considered ASD vs PDA profile of ASD?
From my understanding, PDA has an emphasis on fight or flight activation toward demands. What constitutes a demand is person to person, but can feel like you're being forced to do something, which is both traumatic in and of itself, but may to an overstimulated and triggered nervous system feel like you need to react to the threat. Especially if you have specific trauma related to being forced/taken advantage of beyond how it always feels to someone with PDA navigating everyday life.
So let's say you have someone with pda (baseline fight response), who then experiences early childhood trauma (c/PTSD and enlarged reactivity) who leans toward developing NPD or another low empathy disorder, who continues with these reactions growing bigger and bigger to be able to maintain body autonomy, continue demand avoidance, etc. From there, the greater the cruelty, the more sense of control and regulation is achieved during a threat response as a way of stimming.
That also makes sense at home to be more escalated, as there are usually more demands with less autonomy in how you meet them. Escalated behavior to the point of scaring others makes a lot of sense if that is your only way to guarantee safety, according to your nervous system.
I am not saying ODD isn't a thing, but i do believe not all ODD is actually ODD, and that further research on PDA profile ASD is needed.
@@LaZog11 yeah this is what i was thinking
@@LaZog11I agree with this. I see a lot of fight and flight in my son. He will break down in tears.
I really appreciate this doctor. She is so easy to listen too and very educated . Bringing to light alot of internal issues! Thank u
I agree. I'm autistic with misophonia, and yet I really enjoy her voice, which is unusual for me with most speakers.
My 10 year old daughter has ODD. I hope she grows out of it. I have stage 3 ovarian cancer and it's almost impossible to deal with my daughter while im in so much physical pain.
As someone with ODD and ADHD. I am working on it.
Thankfully. My ODD is pretty easy to control. When I want to be left alone. I want to be left alone.
And when someone does not let me. Even if I’m not alone to be left alone. I get mad. And the ODD takes over, I hate it so much but I am learning to control it.❤😊
This is what my son says, when he gets upset/mad (which is often and for things beyond my comprehension), he immediately says he has to be left alone- very fiercely...I'm working on him at least saying it more nicely.
Also, he says it too often, I can't leave him alone allll the time...
I actually was diagnosed with this but come to find out-it was stemming from me having anxiety, trying to fit in, etc. I was also always the type to speak up when I felt things were unjust so that’s also another reason why I was looked at as so defiant.
As a mum ,my heart goes out to you. People say flippant things to me and you answer politely but as many parents out there you have run the marathon l,m sure. Just sending love.
As a 29 year old with ODDCD, if your child is diagnosed you need to get them help. This video is spot on but under shot a little with explaining the levels of emotion we deal with across the board not just anger. Everything gets turned up to 13 so it's important to intervene early. Everything that goes wrong feels like the end of the world. Any wrong doing against you can easily be justified in your head with thoughts of extreme violence or even murder and sprinkle some impulsive behaviours in there and you've got a nightmare. Thankfully growing up in such an abusive and violent home and area mine has put me in a place where I refuse to act like the people I was brought up around but I still ruin everything for myself on a day to day basis. ODDCD for me is nothing but suffering endless suffering.
Thank you for sharing. ❤
That's an awesome way to look at it. You didn't want the life you grew up in and I felt that 💯
I have a child age 5 that deals with ODD ADHD. 💔
@rosiefogus7570 I wish you the best of luck growing up in a bad area the way people talked took a big part of how I spoke to people even people I cared about. I have two children 9 and 5 right now and they've grown up so well but my youngest may be on the same spectrum as me with her emotional control so my eyes are all over her right now. Having ODD is not a bad thing but it is a hard thing in the wrong environment to deal with but I trust that since you're here in the first place you're already a better person than most I grew up around so you're taking the right steps. The sooner your little one can understand how they feel and to express is vocally the better. Best of luck, you'll be just fine 😇
Wishing you well on your life journey. ❤️🙏
26, still dealing with it. Lost another job recently because of it, I was diagnosed as a child but never got really any proper help for it, it feels like no one even knows about it, I had a teacher at my school say to my dad "Kids with ODD don't act this way, they're not constantly angry or picking fights." Which is not the case at all, that's exactly what ODD is, I'm argumentative as hell to authority figures and every little thing ruins my day and I get upset about it for longer than I should. I'm starting to lose hope here as an adult with it because it has gotten better but still has not gotten to the point where I feel like I can be a functioning member of society.
I'm sorry 😔💔. It breaks my heart for anyone dealing with things out of their control within their own bodies and mind.
Our boy will be 6 this year and we are all working together to help him ❤️💔 it breaks my heart because i know its rough
I have a younger sibling who has this, and like most people in the comments have said, it is absolute hell to live with for everyone involved. Just know that youre not alone and God will use it for His glory somehow.
Ive been waiting for this one, My son is human embodiment of ODD. More resources for parents is incredibly necessary. If you can make more videos on this topic to help parents that would be great. Thank you for this.
Hang in there. I also had a child diagnosed in elementary school. He is 20 now and is doing well. It was extremely rough raising him though and can empathize. I have a 5 and 3 year old who don't have any of the same intense challenges as my first born. I can't imagine having them first and thinking he was just "bad". Hang in there. He wanted to be emancipated at 17 to the government so he could go in the army. He graduated a year early after putting the absolute minimum effort all through school despite being very intelligent and capable of learning. He just refused as with the diagnosis. He spent 3 years active and was just medically honorable discharge due to an injury to his legs. He's still very much ODD qualified but now he just goes home and can do whatever he wants. 😂 Seriously though. Hang in there and you will be the master of "pick your battles" with your child. God bless you and your family.
Look into ADHD, autism, and PDA disorder as well. PDA has more recently been recognized and might start to take over ODD diagnosis as years progress.
Enroll him in leadership, entrepreneal, sports, arts, creativity classes. 10% of people are leaders. School is made for followers.
Dr. Marks I needed this affirmation today. My husband and I are currently struggling with 2 of our 6 children (2 of which are adults) with this disorder. My husband and I feel like we're living in hell. Our 16 year old daughter was diagnosed with this at the age of 7, conduct disorder and bipolar 1 later on. It's sad to say I don't think I had a true understanding of this disorder was until today when I watched your video. My daughter absolutely hates me, blames me for every single thing that goes wrong in her life. She wakes me up out of my sleep to tell my how horrible of a mother I am. I feel like I'm being emotionally abused and drained to the point that I no longer want her living with us. Because of this I feel guilty and I'm also constantly trying to figure out what I've done to make this child hate me. She's a daddy's girl which doesn't bother me but I do want her to be respectful to me. She constantly tells me how her dad is a better parent than me. Yesterday I said good morning to her and she said "don't look at me, I hate when you look at me." Friends and family are always telling me how sweet and loving she is. She comes off as extremely caring, lovable and innocent, almost angelic. I asked her what I've done to her to make her hate me and she said she doesn't know all she knows is she hates me and believes I hate her too. She also blames me for having autoimmune diseases. It's almost like she goes out of her way to try and make me hate her. Nothing I do is right. She's on medication but I feel like it's a hit or miss. She's also in therapy which she has the psychiatrist and therapist thinking she's so sweet. I mean she really comes off as a sweetheart. She's soft spoken and gentle with everyone but me and 2 her sisters but I get the brunt of it. I'm extremely perplexed because I keep trying to figure out why I trigger this child so much. I'm at my wits end.
Our 11 year old son is even worse than her. He's not disrespectful to me or his dad in general but he's extremely violent and aggressive with some of his siblings. He was also diagnosed about the age of 6. He's also on medication and has been on antipsychotics for years. He had a therapy team that would come to our home 3 times a week and I didn't see any improvement. The therapist were very accusatory and made me feel like I was parenting all wrong. My son, who at the time was about 6 or 7 would hug me in front of them and they would tell me to ignore him and push him away because I was showing him affection when he didn't deserve it. I'm no expert but I felt like that was counterproductive. His behavior is so extreme that his psychologist at the time recommended I not have him in school because of his potential aggression to the other students so he's been homeschooled for the past few years. He's become known as the family bully. At 5'4 he's taller than me, he's 180 lbs and wears a size 12 shoe in men. He likes to intimidate the other kids with his size. He goes from being Mr. Rodgers to the incredible hulk in the matter of seconds then right back to Mr. Rodgers. Everyone feels like their walking on eggshells so they don't set him off including me but I don't want to seem weak in front of him but secretly I am afraid of him. Even though he's aggressive he's extremely sensitive and gets his feelings hurt easily. His former psychiatrist told me that prisons are full of men like him and he was going to try and help him but there was little hope. We're not giving up on him so easily and just throw him away to the prison system. He's a brilliant kid. He's taught himself how to make video games and coding. He creates websites and graphic designs. My husband has taught him how to do computer programming, maintenance on cars and construction, deconstruction, produce music, play the piano, etc. He loves science and wants to become an engineer. His interest are extremely vast and he excels at anything he puts his mind to. However, now he's learned how to hack in to computers and change prices on websites, a few days ago my daughter was looking at an iPhone and he changed the price to $1.99. He asked another child for his social security number so he could file him on his taxes. He applied a credit card and unemployment benefits. We put a lock on our wifi to keep him off of certain websites but he's hacks into our phones and changed the settings. I want to take his all his electronics because I'm afraid the FBI is going to be knocking at our door. He's not like any other 11 year old I've seen. Before having children I worked in special education during college but now I'm disabled because I have lupus and MS and my husband worked as a correctional officer but had a stroke last year and lost his sight and is now a paraplegic. My son has used this to his advantage to basically terrorize his siblings because his dad was the main disciplinary.
I'm still at a lost on how to exactly help my children but I really appreciate your explanation of this disorder. I learned more in 10 minutes than I have in all the years I have been trying to research this disorder on my own. I feel like now I can go forward trying to get more assistance from their current mental health providers because I can explain accurately of what we're experiencing at home. Your simple explanation on all your videos really helps. I don't know if I've already missed this video but can you expound more on the difference between conduct disorder and opposition defiant disorder? Thanks again!
Hey I’m sorry to hear about your struggles. I wanted to let you know that you can request GeneSight testing for both your children so that their treatment team and you can discover the medication that works best for both of them. Your local mental health center should be able to assist you with this test. It helps eliminate the trial and error with medication. Prayers for you and your family 🙏❤️
Oh my! I'm so sorry. I would hire help if I were you. I can't imagine the impact it's having on you and your quality of life. Consider hiring a psychiatric nurse, preferably male. Your safety is highly compromised.
Butterfly: You ARE living in hell. Your kids could murder you. Today. You would be a fool if you didn't fear them every minute and want them out of your house. You need to get a lawyer and a will. Maybe not in that order.
Wow! I can relate to an extent. (Also mom of 6 kids with the youngest two having similar issues.)
Daughter too (ADHD and ODD) from a very young ago was disruptive and blames me for bringing her into this world. Her younger brother also has ADHD and anger issues so her behaviors easily trigger his outbursts.
Good luck but be prepared to kick him out if he dosen't improve.
Fantastic video!! I've recently started working with this kind of child population, and I've never heard it all explained so well and in full. I appreciate how empathetic you are to people with this disorder (and other difficult ones like cluster B PDs), and how it can persist into and present in adulthood.
My youngest was diagnosed with ODD when he was still tiny. We have home schooled from kindergarten on because he was so disruptive in class. It wasn't fair to the other kids. It wasn't fair to the teacher. And it certainly wasn't fair to him. I was so scared of how he would turn out as he got older because he was violent and uncontrollable. He has come such a long way thanks to therapy and just growing up. He's such a sweet boy, who does get upset easily but doesn't lash out. Not a violent bone in his body anymore. He's also autistic and has ADHD so the poor dear has a lot holding him back, but I'm so proud of how far he's come in 16 years.
My sister has ODD/ADHD and got early intervention. She almost got kicked out of her daycare after giving a kid a bloody nose in a fight over a certain spot on the carpet at circle time. She's almost 11 now (I'm 11 years older) and has gotten better. She can be irritable, argumentative and have a difficult time just letting things go but I'm not nearly as worried about her as I used to be.
This is encouraging to hear. Do you know what kind of therapy she received?
@@LA-Creative(sorry for late reply) ya know, im not sure exactly, i was a lot younger and more worried about middle school during that time. medication has helped too aswell as just being firm with her. She just started middle school herself and has overcome the violent tendencies but has to be careful how she speaks to people.
This is hopefull. Happy she is doing better now.
That poor mother who asked the question… the answer was shocking. My 35 year old son was diagnosed adhd and odd at age 6, started on Ritalin and developed Tourette’s. He controls the Tourette’s in social settings well, and he claims his adhd is no longer an issue, but as for his odd, as long as I maintain my patience, we generally get along okay. He hasn’t had any issues keeping jobs, no trouble with the law, but I still worry about him all the time. Life must be so hard and frustrating for them, especially as children. 😢
Well, those were secundary effects. I still refuse to understand why we have to give such small children medicine to change them. Why do we want them to tame so badly. I guess each escenario is different but this story is sad and you had and your husband had a lot to deal with it
@@marte1376 I could see my son struggling at school, his teacher was HORRIBLE to him, he was always in trouble for not listening/ following instructions, he had some ocd as well, so I would have done anything to be honest, to make his life easier. I was bullied myself at school, and it absolutely broke my heart seeing this happen to him, so yes, we tried Ritalin, for two weeks the change was mind blowing, but the tics started, and that was the end of the meds. 😢
@@marte1376one of the reasons we attempt to treat CHILDREN is so we don't have to LOCK UP adults. Feel free to Google the most common psych diagnosis in prison AND then come back and ask this question. So many of those humans could have been treated as kids and has a great life. Aggressive forms of ODD and CD, specifically, spiral OUT OF CONTROL into violence and sociopathy.
@@texasgirlmomx2342 sure but so many families and doctors refuse to give children with these problems an integral evaluation and treatment that can go beyond medicine. People just want a pill to change their kids without them making an effort to change their educational skills. I know it's a complex problem because I have a brother that is very aggressive, my mother is a teacher and has seen a severe case of aggressiveness in a small kid of 4 years and pills are the last option when there are other forms of therapy. Also, mistreatment and abuse in their families can be a response of these kids. It's not their problem, some things are correlated to other factors like abuse from their main caregivers
Hear hear! Can relate, 6yr old son, ODD & ADHD, it's not easy, sending strength to all!
I had a cousin who was a textbook case of ODD. (I use the past tense, because he committed suicide when he was 26.) During his infancy, he had failure to thrive. He was also neglected by his mother when he was older. I think that to him, even negative attention was good attention. More than once, he was sent away to a boys' ranch for truancy in his teen years. He was very obnoxious and manipulative and knew what buttons to press. He developed a drug problem in his later years and became paranoid and delusional and had hallucinations. He began to stockpile weapons. This may sound bad, but when he killed himself, I was just glad that he took himself out and no one else.
Thank you for sharing
My parents took a picture of themselves with a "don't walk on the grass" sign when they were still engaged in 1961. It was the most rebellious thing they ever did 😁
(My mom was raised Catholic, so had to confess. She couldn't think of anything, which was not excepted by the priest. So she made up stuff, stealing a cookie and such, and ended with what she did right there: "and I lied".)
Yup back in the day ...
I tend to hate authority figures for the most part but I don't have ODD, I just think the kind of people who gravitate towards positions of power 99 percent of the time are the last ones you would want in a position of power over you. The best bosses, and politicians I have lived under are the ones who got the job despite not wanting it due to necessity, every boss/politician I have lived under who wanted the job always turned out to be a complete power hungry immoral tyrant.
This right here. Honestly, this "disorder" feels like something made up so that these people can claim there's something wrong with you for not wanting to live under their rule.
But just acting like positivity will attract positivity without teaching children how to be positive doesn't really work. The fact is in life we will have so called tyrants for bosses or teachers and co workers. Teaching our children to deal with it in a positive way by helping them develop those life skills is so much more effective than hopium and wishing for the best. The fact is not everyone is kind or fair or positive in the world. Being afraid of teaching these truths is a disservice. Teaching children the skills they need to succeed in those environments is valuable.
True but a person with emotional intelligence knows that defying authority can be dangerous. Let's not just act on anger and prejudices or stereotypes like in your case.
@@marte1376a person with actual intelligence understands goose stepping along with the crowd can be far more dangerous.
I used to babysit a 3yo just like this. When I'd show up to her house she'd take one look at me and yell "NO! YOU GO HOME!!" I was always super nice to her, and gave her a lot of leeway. I never backed her into a corner, and gave her lots of choices. I figured out pretty quick that if I didn't want her to do something, all I had to do was order her to do it! "Don't close the door. I like fresh air." She slams the door. Mission accomplished! 2 of her older siblings also had ODD and ADHD, and struggled a lot in school. Her older brother had to be home schooled, and the older sister went to a small private school where the mom volunteered. The older sister has since matured and is a wonderful woman now, the older brother is still argumentative and immature, and now the 3yo is 12, and struggling in school. They have amazing parents. The mom has infinite patience, and the dad doesn't take it personally when he's verbally or physically attacked. He only raises his voice if he thinks that fighting could lead to massive bleeding or broken bones. All the child psychiatrists have told them that there's nothing that can be done but to keep them safe, and hope they will grow out of it.
I would say the adult who has this may be very aware that they have a problem with authority, and thus intentionally sought a career where they can make independent decisions. They found workarounds.
No, that isn't how it works, because there are always people in their lives who are authorities. From the head mechanic at the garage, the widget maker that refuses to send them what they want, to the doctor who won't sign off on disability, to the cop who stops them for rolling through the sign. They see themselves as discriminated against, because they think they should be allowed to do what they wish.
We are certaily adaptable and inteligence is a thing that stands alone.
“Authority” doesn’t exist. Anybody with enough power can claim “authority “ and makes rules for other people to obey by force.
@cathy people should be allowed to do what they wish as long as it doesn’t hurt other people. Things such as adults not wearing a seatbelt or smoking pot in your own home. Both of which are victimless crimes.
@@Cathy-xi8cbI know they do that, but it doesn't solve everything. Stuff comes up, as you said. If they are not the most extreme cases, they know that there will be challenging situations, but generally they're ok because most of the time, for example, their job, it's a situation they can control.
I’m a nanny and I cared for a four year old who obviously had odd. With my urging they got him checked out and after he began therapy, which led me to believe he was diagnosed, but they weren’t telling me because nannies who care for children with special needs are well compensated and they didn’t want to compensate me for being bitten and attacked multiple times per day. They decided to bury their heads in the sand and stop therapy in hopes that he would out grow it… meanwhile other children and animals had to suffer while they waited for that day that never came. I’m glad I’ve seen this.
Thank you Dr Tracey. 🤱 For helping us to understand this type of disorder. There are so many different disorders I don't even know where to begin. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to help us to understand this and all other disorders.
So on point, I had a childhood friend who had untreated ADHD and ODD, then developed ASPD. I remember being terrified of her, because she enjoyed her vindictiveness, she would smile and found nothing wrong with provoking people into fights. It was years after I lost touch with her, that another friend told me that.
My little sister has this and our lives have been a living hell. 😢
Suspect my brother has ODD. In our teen years I asked dad to send him to military school so the family could get a break. If not send me to military school so I could escape him. He could be such a bully.
This is not a teenager rebelling behavior or acting out when they come to the age.
It starts when he barely walked as a young child and doesn’t go away with age just amplifies it from not wanting playing with a toy to not wanting to go to school or listening to anyone either parents, teachers, principals or psychologist it doesn’t matter if it is a authority figure.
Only continuing working alongside with a psychiatrist to help the child regulate their impulses and not acting out on their negative emotions , also they are keeping grudges and deflecting their wrong decisions into everybody else except themselves trying to blame others for their actions.
It makes no difference in environment or with whom for acting out when are triggered and they will tried to push all buttons to see how far they can get.
I repeat it shows signs in the early age and continues into teenage years.
Thank you
That sounds right, but one thing is that everyone has more authority or power than a young child. Only younger children are less powerful. If it's pure ODD, they probably are alright with peers and younger kids.
Huge respect for your hardworking Ma'am stay blessed always
Fascinating! I’ve had these symptoms off & on for years intermingled with anxiety, depression,, and Misophonia.
Have you looked into autism, especially as it presents in women and girls, as a possibility?
I hope you seek the support you need. I recommend meditation...it helped me so much when I needed to feel better!
What an extraordinary affliction. Without putting a label on it & trying to find medication to suppress this affliction, could it just simply be, that, particularly young children, don’t like the environment they are forced into, such as school & their only preservation, would be to rebel agains it.
I speak from experience, feeling that I never fitted in as a child, surrounded by other children all wearing the same uniform & been taught the same things. My unique creativity & my authentic individuality suppressed, just to suit others. Because someone is different, these days, we put labels on them & suggest that they are somehow Ill or deficient.
I felt like that all my life and have never have been given a label but suspect I have ASD, we shouldn't be too strict with labels we're all different but they can be useful to get the right sort of help.
I mean the thing about the label is it helps get a kids support, especially in school environments. And I don't think assaulting peers and teachers, becoming easily irritated, and requiring everybody to walk on eggshells around you so as not to provoke you is simply being wildly authentic or free. That kind of behavior is pretty isolating and harmful for both the person engaging in it as well as the people around them.
One thing to know: This personality order has been defined recently by the establishment and really is a way to villify anyone who is a "conspiracy theorist" or someone that has issue with authoritarian government. Take the Milgram experiment or the Stanford Prison Study experiment for example. It was found that the typical person obeys authority figures no matter how heinous the orders given to them, believes authority figures without question, and that people in general tend to abuse their authority when in a position of power. This issue of blind compliance and belief in central authority is not being addressed by the establishment.
I definitely felt my individuality was suppressed, but that only made me more empathetic and aware of others' issues. So that's no excuse for bullying and making everyone around you miserable.
Thank you sharing Doctor. We really appreciate you!
Wholly shi...😮 I literally was watching a documentary "Heal" today and learned that it's one of the lesser known symptoms of trauma. Thanks for giving me the video right on time.
I have similar issues as people with ODD and ADHD with my TBI-(Traumatic Brain Injury).. I have a "broken filter"mentally and emotionally at times that has costs me several friendships... 😢...
With everything going on right now, we'll have regrets for things we did not participate in...Investment should always be on any creative man's heart for success in life.
you're right investing/trading is surely a lucrative way to invest whether you want growth, leverage, stable income or something in between.
the best decision I ever made in my life was investing in financial market. Trust me guys, it pays a lot. I have come to realize that trading bitcoin is more profitable than holding it and waiting for it to skyrocket. If you trade without a expert then you are gambling and have no business in trading..
@arun_- Fergus waylen is an expert trader, he uses both manual and algorithmic trading techniques To trade..he is amazing, a friend introduced me to him too.
I'm honestly surprised that this name is being mentioned here, I stumbled upon one of his clients testimony last two months in CNBC world news and decided to try him out...I'm Expecting my third cashout in 2days
he's really a professional. For this past months, I keep earning $11,800 weekly profit having invested $4,200 and working with him
My daughter only acted like this with me. She was good at school. She said it was because she was comfortable at home.
My daughter is the exact same way! She has no issues outside the house
I just feel like crying watching this cos it’s what my son is currently struggling with and I feel like no matter how hard I try to help him it just isn’t enough! He’s waiting for his assessment so isn’t diagnosed yet but his school spoke to me about him possibly having it and everything in this video matches my sons behaviour. The good thing is he’s not defiant at home it’s ONLY at school. The teachers definitely trigger him and don’t give a damn about it either! I’m struggling so bad right now!
This is my son. I noticed little things when he was younger. But it really kicked in at 16. He's 22 now and he's a nightmare. It's a war every day. Everything shebsays, he does especially to me. Even though everyone in the house is fair game to him. And he's a klepto on top of everything.....
I never knew this existed. It explains a lot with society.
My sister fit every single box. The way my parent made me feel guilty because not only I can see it…. But everyone around us sees it.. how evil she was . She had it since she was a toddler ! Manipulating the adults she could. Everyone called her a little devil spawn. My mom had faith in her. And now that mom has passed. 4 YEARS.!! After her death,… the child you loved more than your own biological kids!! still hasn’t changed and there is no fixing it.!!
Thank you.. Somehow have a student that put me in rage while destroy property and blame it on my poor behavior to manage her. I feel that I did something wrong, but it is not on me to fix her. Hope the best for her.
Good Evening Dr Marks,
I hope my message finds you well. Thank you for this informative video DR. MARKs. I wish I had a brain like yours to become a fully accomplished physician. Unfortunately, It is too late and that ship has sailed for me, I have always resented myself for not pursuing post-secondary education My regrets are embedded in me as a reminder. Needless to say, my undying love, curiosity and fascination for medicine and any science related to humanity were there in the past and will always remain.
I loved your book. the book was very beautifully put together for reference purposes.
Thank you,
Humble Regards
Amandeep Singh
Edmonton AB, Canada
You can always go back to school 🏫 🙂!
Dont worry parents. I was diagnosed as a small child. My life isnt great, and i never grew out of it. But I'm a good person just have issues with authority. If i had a loving family i would be better off. Even without I'm fine.
Our son didn't really show this all that much to his teachers, the lashing out at teachers. He became unhinged at home. The one thing though is he didn't take ownership for his failures.
💯 It's not intentional, then they're not responsible, even if it caused harm. No apology, no trying to make amends.
Probably got overwhelmed at school, got home and felt just safe enough to explode all that emotional pressure that had been building up.
Can you talk about ODD vs PDA vs behaviours rooted in trauma?
Can you do a video on the difference between ODD and PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance). I was diagnosed ADHD and ODD as a child, but very recently diagnosed ADHD and Autism. I’m curious if the ODD was misdiagnosed when I was a kid because Autism wasn’t diagnosed in girls or in people who needed less support and PDA wasn’t known about at all.
In the US, there are still very few practitioners who are aware of PDA. It is not listed in the DSM or billable in our insurance system.
I actually just learned about PDA the other day. My little sister was diagnosed with ADHD, major depressive disorder, and ODD years ago. I'm starting to think that she could potentially but maybe not be also autistic, but I'm willing to bet she probably likely has PDA instead of ODD.
Dear, you have constructed your thoughts so well by structured sentences, how come you have autism ? We all have a bit of self-doubt at times, but labelling ourselves too rigidly often have negative consequences, is not that so ? Love and best wishes.
Dr. Tracey Marks: this video is REALLY VALUABLE!
My mom told me I was diagnosed with this at an early stage I was always shy and quiet never argumentative just very independent and strong willed
One of my nieces just got diagnosed with this. Idk if my older sister was diagnosed with it as a kid as my father never took us to drs unless he had to but thinking back to my childhood, her behavior makes so much sense.
As someone with many gastrointestinal autoimmune diseases, all it started during kindergarten with Pica disorder ( Anemia).
I realized that many of the symtoms comes from inflammation and severe malnourishment ( iron, vitamin D, vitamin B complex such B1, B2, B6, B9 and B13, Zinc and many others)
Also homocysteine can be associated.
As a 38 yr old with odd and add I disagree, I'm always angry at others but usually internalize it as my own inability to to understand a situation and then grow more angry at myself, it has always been my fault for being unable to cope with my disabilities
Wishing you peace❤ Most ODDs act out because the source of the turmoil or conflict from their p.o.v. is external. Self critical reflection is usually VERY hard for the ODD person.
❤
My sister had ODD and ADHD and whew it has been a long journey
As an aside, I love your thumbnails! This one is really spot-on. Luvluvluv yhis channel.
Thank you Dr Marks 😘
Omg i was diagnosed as a child with ODD and diagnosed as an adult with ADHD. It all makes sense now!
I think I grew out of my ODD thankfully
More discussion about concepts in social science would be helpful. This is a very nuanced topic.
I spent 17yrs married to this. I'm still shell shocked.
There is so much stigma around ODD but it's often present with other things. Often too there is alot of overlap between PDA (Pathological demand avoidance) which is a characteristic of autism.
I think I had this because I was being abused at home, and I cried out for help.
I'm so sorry you went thru that, I hope you are finding the support and help you need now 🙌
Would like to hear your take on PDA - pathological demand avoidance as a feature of adult autism. Seems a pretty controversial but apt explanation for inexplicable behaviors.
@@allbirdsarecats Not sure why you're conversing with me, but howdy and happy new year. I don't think it's normie to defend or explain yourself to others with shame and victimization, and don't equate pathological demand avoidance with personal empowerment, confidence or a stable sense of self.That whole "pathology" part makes if a very thorny problem for unfortunate people who cross his path, expecting cooperation.
Nice. The first time I found information on ODD that doesn't assume it just disappears and doesn't exist in adults. I'm pretty sure this is what my mom has. I always assumed it was narcissism but that doesn't quite fit. This does though.
This has a lot of genetic factors in it, but I'm convinced there's an upbringing factor in it too.
Father -> Diagnosed Bipolar
Mother -> Diagnosed ADHD
Brother -> Diagnosed ADHD
Sister -> Diagnosed ADHD + ODD + Bipolar
Me -> Diagnosed ADHD + ODD + Antisocial
I had a therapist who was also my mothers therapist and after just two or three sessions he suggested I could potentially be odd. Having never heard of it I looked it up and knew immediately that wasn’t me in any way.
This was a year ago when I was 50 and Being that he was also my mothers therapist ..I’ll now have to always wonder what the hell my mom told him to make him think that so soon into my sessions.
I was in adolescent treatment centers with a lot of teens labeled ODD. It seems like they would be in jail if they kept acting like that as an adult.
if it 'develops' in abusive and neglectful homes, why is it not PTSD? how are these behaviors not defense mechanisms? I know a lot of folks struggling with PTS that have explosive tempers, impulse control problems, all of this.... but I'd never diagnose an adult with ODD!
That's a good question and one I battled with.
My foster child was diagnosed with PTSD and just recently with ODD. In the DSM it nearly always says 'unless better explained by something else' or something along those lines. As he was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD we were able to explain his behaviours with both of those so he wasn't diagnosed with ODD. After two years we managed to get his PTSD pretty well managed and his ADHD is going pretty good but the behaviours continued. So we can no longer say it is better explained so he is diagnosed with ODD.
Because psychiatry didn't develop around root causes. It's an authoritarian perspective and typically views disorders from how inconvenient it is for others vs the actual experience of the person.
@@zhay3437 "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a sick society."
My brother' psychiatrist said that to him when he returned to Afghanistan and had anger issues. My brother hated our society. The psychiatrist told him there was nothing wrong with him. He just saw society was selfish and that soldiers don't adjust well to living as we intended, as a group of 20 people, to living isolated lonely lives. We found his anger inconvenient but he said the anger was justified.
I think looking at the development of psychiatry doesn't show what it is now. That psychiatrist gave us some books to read on tribal society and as a result we decided to live as a multi-generational family. No medication. No authoritarian doctor. Just knowledge.
@@zhay3437ignorance is a hell of a disease
Thank you so much for your work and services! I work on an inpatient unit and my team and I have been watching your videos, such real practical education! Could you do a video for us about what someone with cluster C would look like practically? I would like to hear about the ridged intrusive thoughts, resistance to treatments/reasons for a lack of lasting change, and how each type in the cluster coexist while one could be dominant. Thank you in advance!!
I followed authority with no issues until I was abused by some then I lost respect for certain kinds of ppl and will dig my heels if they try any bs with me.
I had this as a kid/teen. I’m 44 now and have borderline personality disorder. I acted and felt like a sociopath when I was a kid, and at some point that flipped and. Went full on BPD.
I feel like this is a really common thing. I had a neighborhood friend growing up who had this his whole entire life and probably still does now is a thirty-year-old adult. And then I also had a teenage friend and she definitely had this and I kind of think she still does. She ended up trying to fight a cop when she was like 25 and she weighs like 120 pounds and she got her teeth broken. She's my friend, I don't think less of her, but I just wish that she hadn't done that. And it's just kind of interesting because I always felt that she was so defiant for no clear reason. I mean I understand that the cops are fucked up but what is attacking them going to do? Maybe it's less of a problem with being defiant and more about just working harder instead of smarter
My mum (not a psychologist, bearing in mind) told me I had ODD when i was 13. She thought I was ‘hard work’ and ‘defiant’ and ‘rebellious’ and apparently i acted like a dick to her all the time. What actually was happening was she had a persecution complex and suffered paranoid delusions due to undiagnosed bipolar disorder at the time, and our relationship was a nightmare to handle because of her lack of medication and therapy. I only acted out towards her, never anyone else, and even though the times i did act out were small, inconvenient issues, she took them very very personally and they felt amplified to her.
When I was a child, I enjoyed being BAD...
I was bored and curious - public school was a drag...
I was reading college text books in the third grade, so my parents bought 2 sets of Encyclopedias...
That kept me busy for a whole year...
Well, you were gifted and bad. I also read everything years ahead of everyone else, like in kindergarten, and found school boring, but I was well behaved. I can't diagnose you, but it might not be ODD.
Very interesting. Thank you. How does this compare with narcissistic tendencies?
My sister displayed a lot of the traits of ODD as a child (two of her children have since been diagnosed with ADHD). She herself displays a lot of the traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Does make you wonder if there's some kind of overlap between ODD and NPD.
God, thank you for healing this in Jesus mighty name. Amen 🙏.
My wife of 58 is defiant of me, to the degree it comes off as disrespect and contempt. Very hard to live with her drive for control.
Hmmm... I wonder why she'd do that? Maybe you're mistreating her? Just something to consider.
Having a kid with ODD must come with a lot of guilt and feel like you’re raising a psychopath. I can’t imagine how I’d react to a kid that doesn’t respond to any type of discipline (positive reinforcement, positive punishment, etc)
No, parenting a psychopath is easier because they are often socially smooth. Think Ted Bundy. Able to look far more normal until they slit your throat. Sometimes WHILE they slit your throat. THESE folks are a dangerous pain from morning to night.
The only child I know of who had this diagnosis was only behaving that way because his mother was micromanaging an pushing him over the edge (emotionally) all the time.
He often mimicked his mothers behavior with others. He was quite young.
Of course his mother wasn’t about to show that side to a counselor, so it appeared to all stem from the child alone.
Such bullshit.
He had a rough time through school years, but is now doing quite well. He’s calm and loving.
His mom became more careful once her son’s behavior became more like hers with time. Unfortunately, the mom is STILL abusive to her son’s father.
So now, when I hear of this diagnosis, I will always wonder if the child’s behavior really stems from abuse elsewhere.
I have a kid with ODD and we have gone through cognitive behavior therapy and we are using an anti seizure medicine because he would begin an episode and completely black out on his actions after 45 to 90 minutes of screaming and throwing/breaking things, simply because I told him it was bath time. It took a lot of patience (something I did not always show my children) but I learned to respond instead of react. That was the hardest thing. Along with not responding to his threats, throwing things, etc. And to be honest, just down right ignoring that behavior until he got tired. Then I would persist with the original request (bath time) and he would relent and begrudgingly go along. Eventually, over the course of about 2 years, he now showers on his own for the most part and complies with *most* of my directives. I completely changed my parenting style and I stopped listening to advice from people who never dealt with it or thought I was just being a pushover. I am not a pushover but I also do have some defiance in my own personality that I've had to deal with as a result of this. Parenting is hard and I've had to heal some childhood wounds to deal with his.
I have two children (adults now) who have this and it did not get easier. It is frightening , my Son is the most extreme as far as acting OUT and arguing with anyone in authority. My Daughter loves to annoy people and hates rules and she has never taken ownership of her actions. They do not live at home but I do financially support one to keep them out of my home. They also LOVE to play victim and they use people like kleenex.
Had a Behavioural Specialist come and speak to my colleagues and me about this some weeks ago. Very helpful! Thanks!
As some have already mentioned in comments, please don't self diagnose. I was the oldest bio kid in a family that fosters and the majority of my foster siblings had ODD diagnosis's along with several others but frankly, so much of it was a trauma response.
Also, as already mentioned as well in the comments, sometimes these collection of traits is more to so with a sensory and perception disorder and their response to their environment looks like ODD.
I was diagnosed with ODD when I was a child. I'm much much better now but I sometimes still have impulsive aggressive feelings and feel like people are trying to "attack" me.
Do you have any insight or advice for us parents? Help please.
@@myidentityisinjesus8880 be stern with them and discipline them. Allow them to face their consequences. Don't ignore them because that can be a trigger, but don't continually give into their behavior. Stand firm.
I just want to say that I was a pre school teacher for over 40 years. Most of my class was filled with preschool children who had been kicked out of other preschools for defiant behaviors. Some serious such as choking other children ECT.
My room had three rules ( because I feel at that age most violations fit into these categories) Be Neat Be Safe Be Kind
I stuck to those rules and anything children did in violation meant they had to come talk to me and I would ask their side of the story. After they explained their side I would remind them of the three rules and ask them which do they think they broke? Maybe they didn't keep hands to themselves or maybe not being kind ECT.
Then I would do the same with the other child who the conflict was with.
Then after talking to them both separately I would talk to them together or rather allow them to talk with each other while to solve the difficulties. Generally I just would ask opened ended questions such as how did it make you feel when so and do did this to you.
Walking them through their emotions helped immensely and allowed them the opportunity to develop critical thinking skills to help control their emotions and behaviors.
The Book Love and logic also is very helpful because it allows children to develop self control BUT parents must be committed to stick with and be consistent with the steps .
Consultancy is the key.
I myself was one of those defiant young teenagers but we had stuff going on in my family at the time.
Ppl don't always have time to deal with their children if they have their own problems going on. Children generally will show you how they feel if they have no way of talking through their emotions.
First look at your situation.
Are you being consistent in your own life?
What negative things children being exposed to?
What are you as parents doing to help them with self control?
Do you carve out time to talk with your children?
No not how was school?.
Tell me about your day!
What was a good thing that happened?
What was a bad thing that happened?
Find out what's triggering the behavior.
There's always a reason
Ohhh this explains sovereign citizens and flat earthers completely! Thanks for the vid
I read that ODD can be from not getting enough quality time but only getting attention when doing unwanted behavior by being scolded .. and also they have a high co- depression and or anxiety
My grandson acts up in the house. Many things you mentioned describe him except that in school he behaves. As soon as he gets in the car, his attitude changes. His mom was diagnosed with this disorder. She’s also bipolar as me and her sister. I see much of his mom when she was a child in him.
Sometimes with neurodivergent kids (even if its not ODD, if it's autism, etc) they use up all of their mental resources to behave at school and then once they are safe they break. There could be more going on, like bullying, that they are just swallowing.
@@skytower1662 there has been some bullying situation in this new school but his behavior began when he was 3 years old. He began school at 5. But he has also gone through a lot for his age. Too many changes. It could be that he’s unconsciously rebelling. But he’s extremely aggressive, he does things out of spite. Against everyone, not just mom. She’s the only one that gets the physical because he knows better. He is having another evaluation next week. He was diagnosed with ADHD but this was through COVID lockdown so the doctor couldn’t make an evaluation to a 4 year old through a computer camera. Let’s see what happens. My youngest was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder at the age of 4 even when they couldn’t label it as such cause of her age and his mom when she was 12. I sometimes feel he has no real remorse of what he does and likes to mistreat my dogs since he was very little. Throwing one over the fence and putting the other one in the washing machine, pinching them or pulling their tails. This last was last year to my pitbull. Thank God she has always been a sweet patient and non aggressive dog. Thanks for your input. Much appreciated.
My grandson has severe OCD and Tourettes which can be confused with ODD because he becomes desperate that we feed his OCD. He is the same, good away from home and authority but he can only go so long and when he gets home all the compulsions come out. Medication helps alot.
@@skytower1662exactly we experience that with my grandsons OCD
@@2busysecretary it must be really difficult for them. I guess they have none or little control over it. It took me years to manage my disorder and I still and think never will have full control of it. Only discipline in my treatment and anything else that can be of help to keep a positive state of mind.
It sounds like a subset or euphemism for antisocial personality disorder, or psychopath or sociopath.
That would be rough, I really think some kids are just predisposed towards personality disorders.
Listening to this, my main thought was ‘wait til she starts killing pets’….the childhood pastime of Ted Bundy, who, as a KID, did exactly that, including hitting a girl over the head with a brick.
I know an old grown man since He was 7 and once I said to the mother He got ODD never diagnosed until these days, He as person is unbearable nobody wants to be with him,mother never did anything He continues the same.
So this is my problem, but I consider it a good thing.
In that case, you probably really have it. That sounds exactly like what an oppositional person would say.
this is so fascinating and it explains a lot about things we may see- Thank You! also, i just love your blouse, you always look stylish
Please some more on BPD
We label every behaviour. Some people are just evil or ass....s yet we excuse everything and no one is made to be accountable for bad behaviour. It needs to stop
This is real.
To keep a child safe they must learn to make decisions. If you teach them to blindly follow they will never be safe
You obviously missed the point.
Authority certainly doesn't need to be obeyed. There are a good deal of "leaders" I would gladly and openly oppose. Teaching children "just obey" is insane.
You apparently don't understand ODD.
It's not just to obey, it's build discernment to when it's actually fighting for something unfair.
I've seen kids like these, they're insane because they don't seem to respond to any kind of teaching or punishment. They suffer a lot, make people suffer a lot too. It's not something easy