I had conduct disorder as a child i grew out of it matured held a job all of my life married was never violent, ot broke the law over 18 yrs of age i'm now 65. so my life has been a sucess in many ways.I was aggtresive as a young child but by 25 years old i grew up and matured and have Lived my life as non aggressive.I love animals too.
To people who go "she got Stockhold Syndrome" or say similar stuff in the comments: you can feel compassion towards the attacker/abuser WITHOUT AGREEING with this person's ways. You can understand their nature and their struggles w i t h o u t painting a positive picture of them in your head.
My 6 yo son was Dx'd with ADHD and Conduct Disorder over the summer by his pediatrician. I suspect my uncle, who was killed by our city's police dpt. in 2013 also suffered from CD. I'm discouraged that there isn't more research and there isn't more help available for these children. Thankyou for this video.
Can I ask you when you first started seeing aggression in your son? We think my nephew may have conduct disorder but he is 3 years old and it is difficult to know if he is just going through an extended and horrific version of the terrible 2's or if there is a real problem. It can be very hurtful to parents to think that their child has something wrong with them so we want to get as much insight into conduct disorder and ADHD before recommending a psychologists opinion.
LB 3 years old and 6 years old may be too young to make an accurate diagnosis. It may be harmful to label a young child like that. You should probably deal with behavior and wait later(probably until adolescence) to see what happens
@@lucyberger7625 Conduct Disorder isn't diagnosed until later on, usually around or after 10 yrs old and with a history of ADD/ADHD and a previous diagnosis of ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder). It's a progressive condition. If your 3 yr old continues this type of behavior once he enters the school system, they will make recommendations for testing for things like ADHD to start. Don't worry, your nephew doesn't have Conduct Disorder at this age (even now a year after your comment). If his behavior hasn't changed once he begins schooling, then the parents should start looking into getting him tested.
Sorrowsmiles13, wow. Unless your son has an advanced progression of aggressive behavior, he wouldn't have been diagnosed with CD at the age of 6, or by a pediatrician. They usually don't diagnose this condition until around or after the age of 10 and it's coupled with a history of an ODD diagnosis, and it's done by a psychiatrist, not a pediatrician. Your uncle on the other hand...depending on his age...may have already surpassed a CD diagnosis and moved on to APD (Anti-Social Personality Disorder), which is the clinical term for a sociopath or psychopath and is diagnosed at 18 or older. Not knowing the specifics of either situation, it's tough to say. But I agree that there isn't more help for kids who are diagnosed with CD.
What I want to know is what do parents (who have undergone PCIT training and use it all day everyday) do when therapy doesn’t help, when medication doesn’t help, when rewards and compassionate encouragement don’t work.
I guess we just keep doing it, over and over. I am right there. Nothing works. My son will kick me when I go to comfort him. He will hit and trip his peers. He thinks everyone is out to hurt him. He doesn't enjoy anything. It is making us all miserable. Mental health care in the US is a joke, and we wonder why we have overcrowding in prisons, and shootings.
@@brandiannmclain thank you. You can only truly understand if you have lived through it. And yes, the blame I get from other parents cold stares, is enraging. I'd love a support group.
When parents, who have been using rubbish parenting techniques, and who ended up having a horrible brat on their hands as a result, realise that rubbish methods lead to failure, then the least incompetent of them will look back at the tried and tested methods of cane, locking in sheds and no supper methods, that mankind has been using for thousands of years on horrible brats.
Its unfortunate that there so many uneducated parents and soon to wanting be parents you should look at yourself and see if you are capable of loving and caring for a child for the next 18 or so years and you have to be able to see yourself not taking your anger out on your kid. When you're at your worst. If you cannot control your emotions your in a way unfit to be a parent. I had conduct disorder so I know its very difficult on the family I kinda have a good idea of what my impacts are and its not the best. Its stressful you need to be able to have loving compassion and pay attention to your child, and I mean pay attention. Don't be overbearing just pay attention to what you're child wants likes needs who they are as a person. Spend time with your kid dont make it about you, put your beliefs down and just talk to them and be clear. Kids can genetically develop problems but if you're having behavioral issues with your child look at your past and your actions. Communicate your intentions clearly. Your being narcissistic for having a kid if you would put yourself before either your partner or child. The biggest culprit of a bad kid is a bad parent. Do better your capable. Find better ways to handle your problems so you don't carry them over.
I'm appalled that y'all didn't call CPS for the abuse you witnessed. At the Hospital I used to work for there was a whole response team setup for witnessed abuse situations. We have been trying for years to figure out what is going on with our granddaughter. ODD or CD seem to be the two possible classifications that come close to her behavior. Now to try to find a no or low cost therapy option, proving to be difficult, as our daughter has been a stay-at-home mom. She filed for divorce because of mental and physical abuse that she couldn't take any more, the children witnessed it too, he didn't hide any of it. My daughter is working her first job ever. Thank you for the video. ☺☺☺
When I spent my junior high years terrorized by boys and girls who'd kick and hit me (sometimes sending me to the nurse's office), my mom's response was to tell me that I Must Forgiiiiive Themmmm and they had unhappy family lives. ...Needless to say my sympathies are 100% with the bullied kids who are on the receiving end of these violent behaviors - perpetrated by children who grow up to be the adults who pistol-whip a college girl and hold guns to her head (if she's lucky).
A lot of people with children with conduct disorder with callous unemotional traits are amazing parents, they use positive parenting techniques,mthey seek help from toddlerhood, and still, the kids do not respond to anything and they are recieving little to know help beyond being told to hospitalize repetitively. So what would you do for those situations? How can a parent using positive parenting, reading all the latest developmentally connection based approaches and using those, getting all the mental health help they can, help save their child from this if it is not working?
Right! There is nothing wrong with the child. He needs to be in a different environment. Definitely needs to be taken away from the parent. Charges should be brought on the parents. 🥺
Children with severe conduct disorder or ODD are creepily intelligent and these soft gentle behaviors will be repaid with sinister behaviors in return. The therapy does not help either. I pray we find better research because this is interestingly false…we need further research (mother of a child with ODD)
I believe the most common defense ODD kids have is to blame the parents for bad parenting, abuse, miserable living conditions, etc.. It's part of the disorder to blame others for their actions and misfortunes. They can be very convincing. My daughter surrounds herself with "believers" and together they form a little army. Not only do I constantly have to fight for the health of my child but also to clear my name. They twist facts and turn the narrative into a story where they are the victim. Many organizations that deal with the protection of minors, like the police or child protective services, naturally take the side of the child by default, and it gives an added stress for me as a parent.
whoa! so why wasn’t the mother instantly arrested?! did the ct scan assistant go into shock? why didn’t she instantly react and get security?! ridiculous!!!
Ahhhh, yes. You send them the message that if they brutally harm another, you just softly talk to them. What about the one who was victimized? These children soon learn how to navigate the system, while the victim is ignored.
My adopted kids have RAD as well as ptsd,drug addiction at birth,and life is very hard. Theres no help there noone who gets it so my son is labeled with conduct disorder and at 16 ive pretty much lost him for good. 😔
I agree with her to an extent... but I also tend to fall on the side where intentional cruelty is unforgivable. It's so hard to be compassionate to someone who set a cat on fire to see what it was like or whatever. I just have a hard time with where that line is... and when it becomes a matter of safety for others, what then? No one ever really expects their kid to be that way, either. And if caught earlier enough, is an intervention really enough to change brain chemistry of someone who felt inclined to do that anyway? It's tough. I appreciate but do not envy her choice of work.
Danielle Gordon It is a struggle to say the least. My step son has Conduct Disorder, and I feel like she really glossed over how sadistic and dangerous these kids can be. I have a 6yr old son that lives with us and I am constantly afraid for him because his older brother is so manipulative and callous. He is extremely abusive to everyone around him, including parents, teachers, siblings, pets, and other children at school. She makes it sound like all you have to do is keep hugging and forgiving them, and it is simply not that easy. There also frankly just isn’t much help for these kids or for the parents in regards to treatment. It is an extremely difficult situation to be in.
Indeed it is. I agree Kaitlyn this Dr. simplified the diagnosis. Best place Ive found for help is C.H.A.D.D.. networking with other parents dealing with the same thing is most helpful to me. For my son there is nothing that can be done other than medicate them if you choose.
@Anastasia Kent My son's exact reason is the same "I don't know" I've grown to hate these words. I wish he could figure out why he causes so much pain.
@Anastasia Kent at some point you will have to come to terms that you have done everything you could as a mother, and he will get to an age of responsibility. You are important too, your family is important, don't lose sight of this.
@@EveCole23 as someone who also has conduct disorder, it really depends on you. personally, I still feel very little empathy for them. I just disregard their emotions/feelings in a way. its different for everybody though.
@@bigman-br2dv thank you for your response. Do you also have NPD? I wasn't aware that conduct disorder could cause lack of empathy. Are you able to have personal relationships? What about your parents, or specifically, your mother? I am asking as a mother. My son is closest to me, and I can feel a great deal of love from and for him. But at times I wonder what he is capable of, emotionally. Again, thank you for answering, but I do not expect you to pour your heart out here.
@@EveCole23 my mom just told me i have o.d.d. and have been this way ever since i was in preschool. I'm 25 now and i can look back at it and see that its very true till this day. I always want to do/say the complete opposite of what anyone tells me, i have a very bad temper.. hair trigger. But one thing about me i have always regretted and felt sad and in pain for disrespecting my mother. Everytime i yelled at her or cussed her out. I instantly hated myself and felt terrible. I do love my mom i just cant control my temper and wanting to say the opposite of everything. Weve been getting along pretty well the past few days. All i can say to you is just be gentle with your son if that works. I wish my mom would have understood better that i wasnt doing these things on purpose. I literally couldnt control or help it. I also have schizophrenia and ocd and ptsd. I am very smart and i do have the capability to love someone with my whole heart. But when im in a relationship i get jealous easily and angered quick. I had a relationship with a girl for 2 years and i loved her so much. And still kinda do. But my disorder kinda ruined it. So what i am saying is he probably loves you alot and just doesnt know how to express it to you. That was the main thing that made me angry was not knowing how to tell my mom i love her. But now that i do we get along alot more frequently. Dont give up hope. If you ever have any questions you can message me back. I wish you all the love and support
Don’t give up. You’re not alone. My child does not come from a broken or drug abused home (as they claim is common for this behavior) however I am beginning to think he has this disorder along with adjustment disorder. It feels so lonely. I know. Don’t give up. 🙏🏻❤️
I was diagnosed with ADHD and conduct disorder as a child and my mother felt the same way as you did. I eventually grew out of conduct disorder (I am 21 now) but that’s only because my mother changed her parenting style towards me before it was too late & gave me the emotional support I needed at the age of 12. I now have a lot of empathy for others & am much better at regulating my emotions even though mind you, I still struggle with my emotions here & there. Please don’t give up. Give your child all the love and support he needs. Even when you feel like it’s not working. Tell him you love him every single day & give him as much of your time and support as you can. It’s all up to your parenting & it’ll only get worse if you choose to reject him.(whether it’s emotionally, mentally etc) All the best for your journey with your son. I truly hope things will get better for you and him 💕
It's hard to emphasize with a child who constantly beats up their caregiver, breaks ribs, and gives caregivers PTSD. She enjoys stories about blood and gore too. She loves to write stories about stuff like that. She lights up when she sees violence and murder, like on TV. I sometimes wonder if she's playing mind games with everyone or if she's really blood thirsty. Would love to see a battery of her brain scans!
This sounds like my daughter. After she gets violent, if I even lift a finger to hold her down in self defence, she tells people I abuse her. She also has a collection of Japanese manga that glorify murder, violence and self harm. Any reprimands are met with escalation and/or revenge.
@pauladuncanadams1750 and niclasericsson- Try to reach out and make emotional connections with your daughters. It will take some time. Take them out of the house for walks and just listen. Ask general questions and don't be bothered by attitude. Over time they will open up to you, keep and maintain that trust. They will lose interest in the gore etc.. because of the attention and emotional connection. Good luck.
It sounds more like the child had trauma that needed to be healed from the way the parent treated him. Also, I hope the police was called on the mother and that he was put in a different environment.
Interesting. I use special ear plugs made for me to reduce loud noise, like at a concert or riding a really loud Harley. I heard the machine through them. For those who don't have an issue or the facility hearing protection worked. You're very lucky. ☺☺☺
Oh my God, you said that and I nearly fell off my chair laughing. The therapists labeled my 8 y.o. ADHD and ODD, but I looked at my kids' astrology chart when she was born and just cried. She's a Virgo, so I can totally relate to that, but she's got Aries Rising, which totally overwhelms me. She also has Moon in Gemini. She wants what she wants when she wants it, and her impulses change from moment to moment. She's easily bored, easily pissed off, easily frustrated, and her anger is like an ongoing explosion when she doesn't get what she wants.
@@nestorbeltre1203 Antisocial Personality Disorder (or Sociopathy) is a diagnosis that follows Conduct Disorder if the behaviour persists past the age of 18. ODD, CD and ASPD are on a continuum. Which is why it's paramount to intervene because full blown ASPD typically isn't very treatable at all.
@@pauladuncanadams1750 Smacking the child for disobedience and bad behaviour is corporal punishment, not abuse, it is legal in many countries. You need to cjeck your morals.
Listening to her, I got a great idea -- let's give lots of money/rewards to any attacker for every day they do not assault anyone, since punishments do not work and rewards do... Seriously, though, the scientists do admit that even the rewards are not bringing a miraculous transformation. More and more I see situations where a kid hits the mother and she just replies along the lines of :"oh, darling, why are you hitting me? Are you upset?" Parents should stop listening to these newish ideologies and be parents who can teach right from wrong. Look at animal kingdom. The mothers there mean business.
You're missing the point. The point is that certain children like those with conduct disorder escalate aggressive behavior with anger directed towards them, punishments, and even consequences that they just don't like. Anger begets more violence in another words. She is saying the way to reach these type of kids is to emphasize the positive things that they do in order to create empathy, cooperation, emotional regulation, etc. These types of kids focus on the lessons that they learn from experience and if they're experience is negative, negative, negative they in turn become more negative. If they're experience is "I like how you offered somebody a tissue when they sneezed," or "oh, you cooperated well with your teacher today, that's great," or "thank you for listening and putting your laundry away" etc... the child learns positive reinforcement of those things that you want the child to be doing. She is not in any way saying that we should reward adults who grow up to become aggressive people who hurt others. It is not easy to raise a child this manner of positive reinforcement, especially when your own experience was one of a punishment authoritarian way of parenting. I struggle with this with my daughter who has ADHD and ODD. She has been on five types of medications, she's been in therapy 3 years, and she's the same as when we started. We are at a pivotal point right now where she is going to decide what type of person she wants to be and she's only 8 years old. She is so emotionally reactive, negative attitude, highly defiant, and physically aggressive with us only Thank God. When I asked her why she was aggressive with us and gave us the worst parts of her behavior, she said because you have to love me. We indulged her too much, we didn't set good limits from the start, and our emotions and attention are erratic (PTSD and ADHD). Because she has ADHD and developed ODD if her impulses are not supported, she becomes aggressive with us. She has a grandiose sense of self combined with hyperactivity. The only thing that works with her is emotional bonding activities, compassion when she messes up, explaining things in detail, and trying very hard to emphasize those good points of her personality that we want to keep intact. It is gut wrenchingly hard to parent this kind of child.
I wish it was that easy. In my experience neither rewards nor punishment works. ODD kids don't care whether you like what they do or not. They actually PREFER that you don't like what they do. I believe that this is genetic, like diabetes, and that medication is the only viable treatment. My opinion might change in the future if I find something that works.
It doesn't work like that. Consequences for bad behavior pushes the behaviors "underground" . Then you have a sneaky explosive child. For instance, one of my son's steals.... anything he likes, he takes. He's very good at it too. He's 10 now and has always had some kind of consequence for this behavior. We now have a thumb scan lock on our bedroom. We had a key lock...but he kept stealing the key. So anyway, one day I let my children watch a show in my room. I left for 3 minutes to use the bathroom. In that time, he unlocked my bedroom window. Later, after dinner, and I was not with him, as I was still eating, he went outside, through my bedroom window, and "explored" my room. Now, I check my window daily. We have all fire starting materials locked up in there...as he likes fire. So far he's only lit some curtains and bed sheets on fire. The other things he's tried, didn't light. He really likes to light matches and throw them in the heating vents. Yes, we have spanked Yes, we have time outed Yes, we have talked Yes, we have done therapy We have done it all. Nothing works I have parented for over 30 years. This is NOTHING like raising a "typical" child.
@@drania76 stockholm syndrome isn't something like that. SS behavior is more of affection rather than compassion. And the base of compassion she gave to the attacker is based from her knowledge of 'how to response to conduct problems'. it's not stockholm syndrome
![[MV] A leap of faith...ความเชื่อใจครั้งสุดท้าย (From "Petrichor the series")](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/U1piZH2CNXA/mqdefault.jpg)
I had conduct disorder as a child i grew out of it matured held a job all of my life married was never violent, ot broke the law over 18 yrs of age i'm now 65. so my life has been a sucess in many ways.I was aggtresive as a young child but by 25 years old i grew up and matured and have Lived my life as non aggressive.I love animals too.
@@rarecockneyguvnor4945 If you don't mind my asking, what helped you?
To people who go "she got Stockhold Syndrome" or say similar stuff in the comments: you can feel compassion towards the attacker/abuser WITHOUT AGREEING with this person's ways. You can understand their nature and their struggles w i t h o u t painting a positive picture of them in your head.
StockholM syndrome, not StockholD
100% obviously she understands what issues he may have had that lead him to that behavior.
My 6 yo son was Dx'd with ADHD and Conduct Disorder over the summer by his pediatrician. I suspect my uncle, who was killed by our city's police dpt. in 2013 also suffered from CD. I'm discouraged that there isn't more research and there isn't more help available for these children. Thankyou for this video.
Can I ask you when you first started seeing aggression in your son? We think my nephew may have conduct disorder but he is 3 years old and it is difficult to know if he is just going through an extended and horrific version of the terrible 2's or if there is a real problem. It can be very hurtful to parents to think that their child has something wrong with them so we want to get as much insight into conduct disorder and ADHD before recommending a psychologists opinion.
LB 3 years old and 6 years old may be too young to make an accurate diagnosis. It may be harmful to label a young child like that. You should probably deal with behavior and wait later(probably until adolescence) to see what happens
Isaac Gates no you shouldn’t. But yes, tantrums are normal behaviour for three year olds. Look up what’s normal or go see a proffessional.
@@lucyberger7625 Conduct Disorder isn't diagnosed until later on, usually around or after 10 yrs old and with a history of ADD/ADHD and a previous diagnosis of ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder). It's a progressive condition. If your 3 yr old continues this type of behavior once he enters the school system, they will make recommendations for testing for things like ADHD to start. Don't worry, your nephew doesn't have Conduct Disorder at this age (even now a year after your comment). If his behavior hasn't changed once he begins schooling, then the parents should start looking into getting him tested.
Sorrowsmiles13, wow. Unless your son has an advanced progression of aggressive behavior, he wouldn't have been diagnosed with CD at the age of 6, or by a pediatrician. They usually don't diagnose this condition until around or after the age of 10 and it's coupled with a history of an ODD diagnosis, and it's done by a psychiatrist, not a pediatrician. Your uncle on the other hand...depending on his age...may have already surpassed a CD diagnosis and moved on to APD (Anti-Social Personality Disorder), which is the clinical term for a sociopath or psychopath and is diagnosed at 18 or older. Not knowing the specifics of either situation, it's tough to say. But I agree that there isn't more help for kids who are diagnosed with CD.
Thank you I’m a mental health caseworker this is very important information helpful. I work with kids with ODD and CD
Hi what state are you located at? I need help with my child
What I want to know is what do parents (who have undergone PCIT training and use it all day everyday) do when therapy doesn’t help, when medication doesn’t help, when rewards and compassionate encouragement don’t work.
Legitimate question!
I guess we just keep doing it, over and over. I am right there. Nothing works. My son will kick me when I go to comfort him. He will hit and trip his peers. He thinks everyone is out to hurt him. He doesn't enjoy anything. It is making us all miserable. Mental health care in the US is a joke, and we wonder why we have overcrowding in prisons, and shootings.
@@brandiannmclain thank you. You can only truly understand if you have lived through it. And yes, the blame I get from other parents cold stares, is enraging. I'd love a support group.
When parents, who have been using rubbish parenting techniques, and who ended up having a horrible brat on their hands as a result, realise that rubbish methods lead to failure, then the least incompetent of them will look back at the tried and tested methods of cane, locking in sheds and no supper methods, that mankind has been using for thousands of years on horrible brats.
@@svetavinogradova4243 are you saying that children should be assaulted if they're struggling ???
Its unfortunate that there so many uneducated parents and soon to wanting be parents you should look at yourself and see if you are capable of loving and caring for a child for the next 18 or so years and you have to be able to see yourself not taking your anger out on your kid. When you're at your worst. If you cannot control your emotions your in a way unfit to be a parent. I had conduct disorder so I know its very difficult on the family I kinda have a good idea of what my impacts are and its not the best. Its stressful you need to be able to have loving compassion and pay attention to your child, and I mean pay attention. Don't be overbearing just pay attention to what you're child wants likes needs who they are as a person. Spend time with your kid dont make it about you, put your beliefs down and just talk to them and be clear. Kids can genetically develop problems but if you're having behavioral issues with your child look at your past and your actions. Communicate your intentions clearly. Your being narcissistic for having a kid if you would put yourself before either your partner or child. The biggest culprit of a bad kid is a bad parent. Do better your capable. Find better ways to handle your problems so you don't carry them over.
I'm appalled that y'all didn't call CPS for the abuse you witnessed. At the Hospital I used to work for there was a whole response team setup for witnessed abuse situations.
We have been trying for years to figure out what is going on with our granddaughter. ODD or CD seem to be the two possible classifications that come close to her behavior. Now to try to find a no or low cost therapy option, proving to be difficult, as our daughter has been a stay-at-home mom. She filed for divorce because of mental and physical abuse that she couldn't take any more, the children witnessed it too, he didn't hide any of it. My daughter is working her first job ever.
Thank you for the video. ☺☺☺
When I spent my junior high years terrorized by boys and girls who'd kick and hit me (sometimes sending me to the nurse's office), my mom's response was to tell me that I Must Forgiiiiive Themmmm and they had unhappy family lives. ...Needless to say my sympathies are 100% with the bullied kids who are on the receiving end of these violent behaviors - perpetrated by children who grow up to be the adults who pistol-whip a college girl and hold guns to her head (if she's lucky).
This was incredible. Loved it from start to finish.
Wow this was super interesting 🙏
A lot of people with children with conduct disorder with callous unemotional traits are amazing parents, they use positive parenting techniques,mthey seek help from toddlerhood, and still, the kids do not respond to anything and they are recieving little to know help beyond being told to hospitalize repetitively. So what would you do for those situations? How can a parent using positive parenting, reading all the latest developmentally connection based approaches and using those, getting all the mental health help they can, help save their child from this if it is not working?
You literally watched the mother beat the child and you don't blame the mother?
Right! There is nothing wrong with the child. He needs to be in a different environment. Definitely needs to be taken away from the parent. Charges should be brought on the parents. 🥺
If you are getting robbed, you need better policing, not more compassion. The next woman getting robbed cant buy much with your compassion.
Children with severe conduct disorder or ODD are creepily intelligent and these soft gentle behaviors will be repaid with sinister behaviors in return. The therapy does not help either. I pray we find better research because this is interestingly false…we need further research
(mother of a child with ODD)
I believe the most common defense ODD kids have is to blame the parents for bad parenting, abuse, miserable living conditions, etc.. It's part of the disorder to blame others for their actions and misfortunes. They can be very convincing. My daughter surrounds herself with "believers" and together they form a little army. Not only do I constantly have to fight for the health of my child but also to clear my name. They twist facts and turn the narrative into a story where they are the victim. Many organizations that deal with the protection of minors, like the police or child protective services, naturally take the side of the child by default, and it gives an added stress for me as a parent.
😅 3:36
whoa! so why wasn’t the mother instantly arrested?! did the ct scan assistant go into shock? why didn’t she instantly react and get security?! ridiculous!!!
Or hotlined or educated by hospital psychologist
I was wondering the same thing!!
Ahhhh, yes. You send them the message that if they brutally harm another, you just softly talk to them. What about the one who was victimized? These children soon learn how to navigate the system, while the victim is ignored.
My adopted kids have RAD as well as ptsd,drug addiction at birth,and life is very hard. Theres no help there noone who gets it so my son is labeled with conduct disorder and at 16 ive pretty much lost him for good. 😔
I am experiencing this now.
We're here now with our 10 year old. 😟
Excellent. Thank you for this information.
I agree with her to an extent... but I also tend to fall on the side where intentional cruelty is unforgivable. It's so hard to be compassionate to someone who set a cat on fire to see what it was like or whatever. I just have a hard time with where that line is... and when it becomes a matter of safety for others, what then? No one ever really expects their kid to be that way, either. And if caught earlier enough, is an intervention really enough to change brain chemistry of someone who felt inclined to do that anyway? It's tough. I appreciate but do not envy her choice of work.
Danielle Gordon It is a struggle to say the least. My step son has Conduct Disorder, and I feel like she really glossed over how sadistic and dangerous these kids can be. I have a 6yr old son that lives with us and I am constantly afraid for him because his older brother is so manipulative and callous. He is extremely abusive to everyone around him, including parents, teachers, siblings, pets, and other children at school. She makes it sound like all you have to do is keep hugging and forgiving them, and it is simply not that easy. There also frankly just isn’t much help for these kids or for the parents in regards to treatment. It is an extremely difficult situation to be in.
Indeed it is. I agree Kaitlyn this Dr. simplified the diagnosis. Best place Ive found for help is C.H.A.D.D.. networking with other parents dealing with the same thing is most helpful to me. For my son there is nothing that can be done other than medicate them if you choose.
Anastasia Kent why would you let your other kids and husband go away? I think you have to choose them, the healthy people.
@Anastasia Kent My son's exact reason is the same "I don't know" I've grown to hate these words.
I wish he could figure out why he causes so much pain.
@Anastasia Kent at some point you will have to come to terms that you have done everything you could as a mother, and he will get to an age of responsibility.
You are important too, your family is important, don't lose sight of this.
Go Kalina!
i have conduct disorder and its more of that we show little empathy if any towards people
How do you feel about people closest to you?
@@EveCole23 as someone who also has conduct disorder, it really depends on you. personally, I still feel very little empathy for them. I just disregard their emotions/feelings in a way. its different for everybody though.
@@bigman-br2dv thank you for your response. Do you also have NPD? I wasn't aware that conduct disorder could cause lack of empathy. Are you able to have personal relationships? What about your parents, or specifically, your mother? I am asking as a mother. My son is closest to me, and I can feel a great deal of love from and for him. But at times I wonder what he is capable of, emotionally. Again, thank you for answering, but I do not expect you to pour your heart out here.
@@EveCole23 my mom just told me i have o.d.d. and have been this way ever since i was in preschool. I'm 25 now and i can look back at it and see that its very true till this day. I always want to do/say the complete opposite of what anyone tells me, i have a very bad temper.. hair trigger. But one thing about me i have always regretted and felt sad and in pain for disrespecting my mother. Everytime i yelled at her or cussed her out. I instantly hated myself and felt terrible. I do love my mom i just cant control my temper and wanting to say the opposite of everything. Weve been getting along pretty well the past few days. All i can say to you is just be gentle with your son if that works. I wish my mom would have understood better that i wasnt doing these things on purpose. I literally couldnt control or help it. I also have schizophrenia and ocd and ptsd. I am very smart and i do have the capability to love someone with my whole heart. But when im in a relationship i get jealous easily and angered quick. I had a relationship with a girl for 2 years and i loved her so much. And still kinda do. But my disorder kinda ruined it. So what i am saying is he probably loves you alot and just doesnt know how to express it to you. That was the main thing that made me angry was not knowing how to tell my mom i love her. But now that i do we get along alot more frequently. Dont give up hope. If you ever have any questions you can message me back. I wish you all the love and support
@@EveCole23 i would love to hear back from you to see if i helped any, or if i can help with anything else!
Thank you!!!
This just feels like false hope. The technology is amazing, but the access to neuropsych testing is next to impossible.
CD and ADHD are so painful.. my child has them and it breaks my heart when he gets in trouble in school. Sometimes I just wanna give up.
Don’t give up. You’re not alone. My child does not come from a broken or drug abused home (as they claim is common for this behavior) however I am beginning to think he has this disorder along with adjustment disorder. It feels so lonely. I know. Don’t give up. 🙏🏻❤️
I was diagnosed with ADHD and conduct disorder as a child and my mother felt the same way as you did. I eventually grew out of conduct disorder (I am 21 now) but that’s only because my mother changed her parenting style towards me before it was too late & gave me the emotional support I needed at the age of 12. I now have a lot of empathy for others & am much better at regulating my emotions even though mind you, I still struggle with my emotions here & there. Please don’t give up. Give your child all the love and support he needs. Even when you feel like it’s not working. Tell him you love him every single day & give him as much of your time and support as you can. It’s all up to your parenting & it’ll only get worse if you choose to reject him.(whether it’s emotionally, mentally etc) All the best for your journey with your son. I truly hope things will get better for you and him 💕
@@kittycat8222 prayers for you and your family ❤
We will get through this!
@@mayrashealthykitchen2273 thank you!!! 🙏🏻❤️
@@daynaperry8832 how did your mom change her parenting style?
It's hard to emphasize with a child who constantly beats up their caregiver, breaks ribs, and gives caregivers PTSD. She enjoys stories about blood and gore too. She loves to write stories about stuff like that. She lights up when she sees violence and murder, like on TV. I sometimes wonder if she's playing mind games with everyone or if she's really blood thirsty. Would love to see a battery of her brain scans!
This sounds like my daughter. After she gets violent, if I even lift a finger to hold her down in self defence, she tells people I abuse her. She also has a collection of Japanese manga that glorify murder, violence and self harm. Any reprimands are met with escalation and/or revenge.
Wow! Wtf. I feel bad for you guys.
You guys know you can just drop them off at a fire station and be done with it right?
@@milesmoose TY. Not us but our friends.
@pauladuncanadams1750 and niclasericsson- Try to reach out and make emotional connections with your daughters. It will take some time. Take them out of the house for walks and just listen. Ask general questions and don't be bothered by attitude. Over time they will open up to you, keep and maintain that trust. They will lose interest in the gore etc.. because of the attention and emotional connection. Good luck.
It sounds more like the child had trauma that needed to be healed from the way the parent treated him. Also, I hope the police was called on the mother and that he was put in a different environment.
9:59 iv had a few MRIs done, the nurse gives you hearing protection for the loud noise. I never heard a thing while doing my scans.
I've never gotten hearing protection. I didn't find it loud though. Could've had a good nap if it were longer.
X RAY tech... you should get earplugs and a headset. And you can still hear it with both applied during a brain scan.
Interesting. I use special ear plugs made for me to reduce loud noise, like at a concert or riding a really loud Harley. I heard the machine through them. For those who don't have an issue or the facility hearing protection worked. You're very lucky. ☺☺☺
Nah I think I’m just an Aries
Oh my God, you said that and I nearly fell off my chair laughing. The therapists labeled my 8 y.o. ADHD and ODD, but I looked at my kids' astrology chart when she was born and just cried. She's a Virgo, so I can totally relate to that, but she's got Aries Rising, which totally overwhelms me. She also has Moon in Gemini. She wants what she wants when she wants it, and her impulses change from moment to moment. She's easily bored, easily pissed off, easily frustrated, and her anger is like an ongoing explosion when she doesn't get what she wants.
One group will later be diagnosed Sociopath/ the other psychopath
Those are not psychiatry disorders with a formal diagnosis. That is more of a misleading cultural idea not backed by scientific research.
@@nestorbeltre1203 Antisocial Personality Disorder (or Sociopathy) is a diagnosis that follows Conduct Disorder if the behaviour persists past the age of 18. ODD, CD and ASPD are on a continuum. Which is why it's paramount to intervene because full blown ASPD typically isn't very treatable at all.
@@e_i_e_i_bro No, it is nothing medical. Just a rubbish person, that's all.
@@svetavinogradova4243 It's a recognized Personality Disorder my dude
@@e_i_e_i_bro personality disorders aren't necessarily proven biologically.
I'm 35 years old and I'm definitely terrified of getting MRIs still lol
Hitting him for having an MRI... No wonder he has CD.
Hitting him for throwing a tantrum instead of complying.
@@svetavinogradova4243 either way you look at it, it's her fault.
@@pauladuncanadams1750 No. zit is political correctness gone mad. Children won't comply unless they know there will be consequences.
@@svetavinogradova4243 Hitting a child for not wanting to go into an MRI is abuse. PERIOD. You need to have your values checked. And a Welfare Check.
@@pauladuncanadams1750 Smacking the child for disobedience and bad behaviour is corporal punishment, not abuse, it is legal in many countries. You need to cjeck your morals.
Selma from the Flintstones???? There was no Selma on the Flintstones.
Listening to her, I got a great idea -- let's give lots of money/rewards to any attacker for every day they do not assault anyone, since punishments do not work and rewards do... Seriously, though, the scientists do admit that even the rewards are not bringing a miraculous transformation. More and more I see situations where a kid hits the mother and she just replies along the lines of :"oh, darling, why are you hitting me? Are you upset?" Parents should stop listening to these newish ideologies and be parents who can teach right from wrong. Look at animal kingdom. The mothers there mean business.
This is the right comment here!
You're missing the point. The point is that certain children like those with conduct disorder escalate aggressive behavior with anger directed towards them, punishments, and even consequences that they just don't like. Anger begets more violence in another words. She is saying the way to reach these type of kids is to emphasize the positive things that they do in order to create empathy, cooperation, emotional regulation, etc. These types of kids focus on the lessons that they learn from experience and if they're experience is negative, negative, negative they in turn become more negative. If they're experience is "I like how you offered somebody a tissue when they sneezed," or "oh, you cooperated well with your teacher today, that's great," or "thank you for listening and putting your laundry away" etc... the child learns positive reinforcement of those things that you want the child to be doing. She is not in any way saying that we should reward adults who grow up to become aggressive people who hurt others. It is not easy to raise a child this manner of positive reinforcement, especially when your own experience was one of a punishment authoritarian way of parenting. I struggle with this with my daughter who has ADHD and ODD. She has been on five types of medications, she's been in therapy 3 years, and she's the same as when we started. We are at a pivotal point right now where she is going to decide what type of person she wants to be and she's only 8 years old. She is so emotionally reactive, negative attitude, highly defiant, and physically aggressive with us only Thank God. When I asked her why she was aggressive with us and gave us the worst parts of her behavior, she said because you have to love me. We indulged her too much, we didn't set good limits from the start, and our emotions and attention are erratic (PTSD and ADHD). Because she has ADHD and developed ODD if her impulses are not supported, she becomes aggressive with us. She has a grandiose sense of self combined with hyperactivity. The only thing that works with her is emotional bonding activities, compassion when she messes up, explaining things in detail, and trying very hard to emphasize those good points of her personality that we want to keep intact. It is gut wrenchingly hard to parent this kind of child.
@@curiousobserver97❤️ thank you for sharing your experience with your daughter. It is very helpful
@@adrienne7642 You're welcome.
… 🙄🙄🙄 …
stop rewarding children for screaming and violent behaviours. reward good behaviour and severely punish bad behaviour. simple.
I wish it was that easy. In my experience neither rewards nor punishment works. ODD kids don't care whether you like what they do or not. They actually PREFER that you don't like what they do.
I believe that this is genetic, like diabetes, and that medication is the only viable treatment. My opinion might change in the future if I find something that works.
It doesn't work like that.
Consequences for bad behavior pushes the behaviors "underground" . Then you have a sneaky explosive child.
For instance, one of my son's steals.... anything he likes, he takes. He's very good at it too. He's 10 now and has always had some kind of consequence for this behavior.
We now have a thumb scan lock on our bedroom. We had a key lock...but he kept stealing the key. So anyway, one day I let my children watch a show in my room. I left for 3 minutes to use the bathroom. In that time, he unlocked my bedroom window. Later, after dinner, and I was not with him, as I was still eating, he went outside, through my bedroom window, and "explored" my room. Now, I check my window daily.
We have all fire starting materials locked up in there...as he likes fire. So far he's only lit some curtains and bed sheets on fire. The other things he's tried, didn't light. He really likes to light matches and throw them in the heating vents.
Yes, we have spanked
Yes, we have time outed
Yes, we have talked
Yes, we have done therapy
We have done it all. Nothing works
I have parented for over 30 years. This is NOTHING like raising a "typical" child.
Great idea Pavlov. You must be a brilliant scientist
It’s called Stockholm syndrome.
which part is?
Are you referring to the speaker having empathy for her attacker?
Yes.
@@drania76 stockholm syndrome isn't something like that. SS behavior is more of affection rather than compassion. And the base of compassion she gave to the attacker is based from her knowledge of 'how to response to conduct problems'. it's not stockholm syndrome
No, it is not lmao.