We Create Our Own Value (Understand The Psychology)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ส.ค. 2024
- Craig Kenneth, psychotherapist and relationship coach discusses how the way we value ourselves affect how others value us.
I talk about how acting and behaving in ways that appear valuable to others affects the way others treat us and desire us.
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Never take back a cheater. I like how confident you are about your decisions . This helps me so much!
‘We might be attracted to someone who hurt us in the same way our parents hurt us.’ Such gold.
And that's why you are suppose to fix your issues and not Date them! 🙄🤷♀️
I've watched this video at least 20 times and it is finally sinking in
🙌
“If a guy breaks up with me I’m never talking to them again” ugh such awesome words. Thank you so
Much craig. I was having the worst day and the worst time with this breakup but your confident words are helping me so much thank you so much
Amazing man. I am no longer even worried about this potential break up. The knowledge and ability I have gained about myself and my own actions and dealing with my own anxiety has giving me such an uplifting feeling. That feeing that I can get back in touch with the person I was and want to be has given me such an optimistic outlook on life. Hopefully I can get my shit together and stay focused, and maybe win this great woman who has felt neglected back.
Craig, I think you have more to learn about women and what they find attractive. I understand your reasoning that seeing a guy you like go out with girls, makes him look more desirable, but it’s faulty reasoning. Because this is a very fine line of what a woman finds attractive and incredibly unattractive. I don’t know a single girl who is attracted to a guy who is going out with other women. Even when you haven’t had the exclusive talk. It’s not a thing and stop telling guys it is because you’re setting them up for disaster. What women DO find attractive, is when other girls talk about the guy they’re dating as cute, good looking, “where did you find him”, “does he have a brother”, it’s in context that other women find him attractive, but NOT him exploring several options while you are getting to know each other. Women want to feel desirable. They do not feel desirable when you can’t get excited enough to pursue her. She wants to be chased. She wants to feel special. Craig, this is the third video where you’ve given out bad advice on what women are attracted to that I’ve watched. If you need more help, please talk to a larger pool of women.
Yes you nailed it. If I saw that kind of behavior it would turn me off too! I'm not chasing any guy even though I'm very attractive I don't think they would value me or myself worth!
Girls do it all the time. Sleep with married men. Try to take them from their wife. Sleep with the guy they know have 3 baby mama's. Sleep with the guy they know have a woman almost every day of the week. It's that person have value to others and or wanting what you can't /shouldn't have. Then they look at the person that don't have anybody like what's wrong with them if nobody else wants them why would I want them.
People want people who other people find attractive. I would not think a man was attractive if other girls were not going after him or he was so unattractive that he didn't have dating options. I like a high value guy who knows he can get women but he chooses me 🩷 a man who is capable of getting women is going to date them. I think once he finds a woman he's really interested in that's when he will stop and focus on her.
If you think a man needs to be exclusive to you before becoming exclusive, you’re the broken one
Being a lady or gentleman that respects her/himself and others is always in style 👍😉👏🤩
“You just went on clearance.” Sounds like good line for a Lethal Weapon movie. 👍
How I wish I saw this video 7 months ago. But I know it's not yet too late to improve myself and increase my value.
This video is one of the best you have Craig. It made me realized a lot of things that happened. I’m doing the workbooks now. I wish i started doing it earlier, even if i bought it 3 months ago lol. I feel a big weight has lifted. 5 months after the break, the first time i feel lighter and I understand now. Guys work on yourself, its hard to focus to improve ourselves after a breakup because we feel worthless and empty. I will keep on improving myself. I’m happy i able to find myself again. I’m almost healed.
This is an amazing video. One of your best. I wish I had someone tell me this when I was younger or before I had started my current relationship with which I'm struggling. When each of my daughters turn 16, I intend to show them some of your videos and this one especially. Thank you coach for posting so much amazing free content online...I plan to take advantage of your paid coaching sessions as you have really helped me a great deal!
This guy explains everything so well. I've watched dozens of videos regarding this subject and his is truly the best. Thanks for all your professional advice, Craig!
By far the most helpful video for me you need to know your a catch there's only one you! When you know you have qualities that are desirable and hold your head high and it shows and women will automatically be drawn to you pay attention coach craig knows what hes talking about! BE CONFIDENT!! and ignore everything else great video coach!
Watching this everytime before each date. From your advice, I’ve been scoring 5 different women each month! Haven’t found any that caught my interest yet but I’m getting way better let me tell you !!
Thank You Craig!👍 You deserve a Nobel prize for Your work !
I may be different, but when I slept with my ex on the first date, it didn’t make me value her less. In fact we slept together the first night, about an hour after we first met.
However, I did devalue her after she cheated on me 3 weeks later.
@@the_salty_melody well, it’s actually a longer story than 3 weeks and it’s so bad you couldn’t make it up.
Sometimes our parents overstate that we are special, and we set such high standards to ourselves that we never feel adequate. They don't set those standards, they don't even have unrealistic expectations, it is us. That affects me, when my partner puts me on a pedestal, I get this feeling it is a false image I'll fail to fit. But without that image, I don't know why they would love me.
Craig, seriously love your videos and workbooks! Always always makes me feel better no matter what. Thank you for the incredible content.
this is the best video I've ever seen
Great valuable information, I hope when he reach out the next time I’ll be more ready n stronger .. ty one again ur the greatest Coach Craig
I love u Craig and Margaret so much u are the best coaches ever keep making videos on how to retract ur ex especially when we have neglected him thanks much!
Thank you for this wonderful message!!! So much Love and Support…awesome!
What if they break up with you and you were not good to them?
WOW, another fantastically informative video! Coach Craig you really are the best!
Its hard ta find the right guy and it ain't because of us its because we go through
More and we get wasted
We All have a broken lil birdie within us!
Craig this video is awesome! Great Motivation and information!!! SO SPOT ON!!!! BTW doing the workbooks now and loving them!!!! Im a SUPERSTAR!
I am a girl and I love and want only a good guy who respects me cuddle me listen to me present like me for him, good girls like me are convinced that most guys want only easy girls, It is what I am seeing unfortunately.
Craig you are simply the best
Apart from if I only have been on a meet and greet style coffee, I can assure you as a woman, if I see a man I am dating (even if only in the early stages) with another woman, I would NOT want to see him again. I only want to date a man who is loyal and is focused on getting to know me.
High value. Well if two people started off txting and talking for hours on end loved the conversation then that starts (in my mind anyway) to build a great repore' with each other (in other words we both see ourselves as high value), In my case we first met and dined together and the 2nd time we met we dined again but did some kissing and hugging. 3rd date was dinner and then intimate times. However we had invested a great deal of time talking meaning 15-20 hours on the phone and our intimate time was just natural. If I had to do it over again I would not change a thing. What seems to be the case is that one partner or the other is subservient to the other and fears they will loose the other if they don't please them as much as possible. I can sure see the other partner seeing this as clinging and needy.
How nice sea hags can sit outside a home & make out with someone else's man...twice , thrice the pain onto you !
Guys who gave himself on the first date ALSO are devaluated. And: I was talking with a guy, and he told me he had more than 1.000 (yep, thousand!) women, and he told that in order to impress me. I lost all interest, WHO want a guy that superficial!?!? A promiscuos guy, also is not a catch.
Was that letter from elliot rogers lmao
If I see a guy with another women while he’s pursuing me your block for the rest of your life period!!!!
Lol
ummmm am I different because if I see the guy with other women I would walk!!! Women can tell if ur just friends or ur more.
nope! i would walk to
Well in this case, they are not in an exclusive relationship. That's different than being exclusive.
Me neither. Craig might say it's insecurity.... but nope... walk out....
I'd walk too. Plenty of other fish. I think low-value desperate women might feel like chasing those kinds of guys. I think Craig is on point most of the time, but he missed it this time. A high value woman would never chase after any guy under any circumstances. Period.
And you ladies have the right to walk away, it's your life. By doing that you're saving that guy from your insecurities, anxiety, and emotional baggage you'd dump on him in a relationship anyway so it's a win-win for all involved.
Who wouldn't like your videos there amazing
I have a Question, Coach Craig ,what about if a Guy breaks up with you,are does Rules then the same?Really would like to know.Maybe you can make a Video with that,very important for me to know. Be watching your Videos for almost 4Weeks now,is a lot to learn ,I am grateful to you for that.Is nice to know there are people out there like you ,helping people in pain ,and need.Thank you for that truly.
Could you do videos more about getting wife back and how to work separated with children under same roof?
Interesting.. I think I'm the opposite. I look for people who can provide what my parents couldn't. I look for someone that will fulfill a family life that I didn't have. Also, very lucky that I never dated jerks.
Lastly, any girl that is secure wouldn't want to compete with random girls to get your attention because she believes she's more valuable. If I see a guy that I'm talking to with another girl, i would have less interest in him because he's just dating around anyways. If I see you have pictures on FB with many girls, it would turn me off. i don't want to be in your collection of girls.
Me too!
I don't give a fuck wat ppl perceive,I ain't competing! 👊🏻🙄
this girl agrees... if he's looking like he's with someone already on socials... that's an easy NO way. I'm not something to be collected.
It's TRUE for women too. I didn't value myself and the person left me for someone else in the end anyway
It completely puts me off if I’m dating a guy and I see him with another girl even if it’s not exclusive but kinda makes me happy as I won’t carry a guilt dating two myself 😅😅
I honestly think I need coaching, my anxiety level has jumped through the roof again, I thought I was getting on the straight an narrow but back to square one...HELP!!
Thank you very much Coach Craig... ❤️
This was very helpful. Thank you very much.
Hitting hard, bring it on
Ladies if you have kids holding out doesn't make sense. Do it if he wants you he will still work to be with you
I totally understand Elliot
I’m an 46 yr old Australian guy
I’m very handsome fit and I know I’m a decent person
I never hurt anyone and I do believe I’m a great catch
I too find it so hard too find a lady that would like too be with me
Whether it is because I’ve been struggling with the loss of my Fantasy LDR
7.5 months ago
That I’m probably not on the right frame of mind
Who knows
I get so upset when I keep getting rejected by Australian women 😏
Matty Kay I'm an australian woman, fit, ,heathy, attractive and in my early 40s.
Its not just guys that feel rejected, us women feel it too.
I know I'm a great catch, but seem to attract the avoidant men.
Attracted to the familiar.. I like that point. Question is. If You're inherently attracted to what you perceived as love in your childhood, and it was not ideal vs. living in a family of unconditional love. How are we attracted to the opposite?
Thank you! I needed to hear this today.
But how would you tell them that they have to work to “earn” you back? Other than “im open to getting back together but i want to take it slow”
Great video with a powerful message!!
Great video
I was recommeded to you. Awesome videos but can you do more vids on how to get healthy relationships for singles.
I love this video, he speaks the truth
"Why are women so stupid" 🤣🤣🤣🤣 sorry but it was so blunt and honest it made me laugh 😂. .
Hope this guy found a nice girl in the end 😊
Hi Coach Craig I am confused about I have heard in other videos and what you say in this video. Like when you say your ex might be dating other people and say that your ex will most likely end that relationship. And on this video you say you wouldn't take them back. Can you please explain? Maybe I am misunderstanding. Please clarify. Thank you for your time and work on these videos which are educating us with all the information. God bless
Wow, a lot to think about💎
This is an old video but I was just watching it and saw something on TikTok that relates. The guy had someone ask him why nice guys don't seem to get women and the bad guys do. He is a bouncer at a club and said he has to kick out guys often for bothering the women. These aren't the good guys and he would have to kick them out on occasion. The good guys would sit and keep to themselves. Simply because the good guys weren't trying the bad guys would get more women, being they tried with more women.
we don't want bad guys, but I think we are .. on a primal level.. find risk taking attractive... but he still needs to be respectful of boundaries
Crystal clear. 👏🏻😊
Love it craig you truly are amazing thank you your personal growth videos are really speaking to me 😊
Thank you
I don't understand how all these dating advice videos tell women and men to be scarce and and let the other person chase. I feel like if both sides of the relationship are being scarce and letting the other chase it will never get anywhere. then it says men are supposed to chase because it is a masculine role but the advice to the men is let the girl chase them???? very confused
Ra Sa it's like chemistry class. it takes time to catch up...lol you chase initially when you meet someone if you're the male. the flowers and the wunuts might work. however, when you're dumped by a female, you don't chase. if a man is dumped by a female, the times of flowers are over..you don't chase or things get worse..
You're AWESOME!
thank you!
I don't understand how all these dating advice videos tell women and men to be scarce and and let the other person chase. I feel like if both sides of the relationship are being scarce and letting the other chase it will never get anywhere. then it says men are supposed to chase because it is a masculine role.
Keep up the good work
Not me if I see a guy with another women, you won’t see me forever even my shadow especially if we are just dating, uh nooo!
I date because I am trying to get to know the woman and see if we are compatible and it's casual until I find that special one. I go out with different woman, sometimes a couple of woman at the same time. If I waited and only did this with one woman at a time it could take half my life. Of course if I meet a woman and we both have great chemistry and we both want to be a couple, then I am 100% into her and her only. I like to be monogamous. Does this make sense to you? Would you not go out on a date with me if you knew I was dating another woman?
These broads are nuts. Complain about you seeing other women when dating. But on the other hand talking to/dating 5+ guys while dating you. Swiping right on dating apps while sitting across from you with a smile on her face.
It's hard too find the right one
This video helps
Was there anything she could have done differently to save the relationship?
Craig I disagree... I broke up with him because he wanted it! It was on again off again and I had had enough! He left me for his mother! Talk about that! He has treated me like crap! When he started to show some interest, I dumped him! He didn’t value me! No contact for 2 months! I am so angry and hurt! He is going to have to show me from now on! But I don’t think he ever will!
We were in a long distance relationship. Now he has broken up with me.
I think the stereotype that women prefer unavailable men, also comes from the fact we are attracted not only to the good traits✨ but we choose someone with the negative traits that we think we can cope with.
For example: I'd rather choose a bit of a jerk with the negative trait of being distant and standoffish, than a nicer guy with the negative trait of being too smothering. This is because if I am taking a gamble, a distant man is easier to cope with/less alarm bells than a smothering man, even if the uncommitted man may be emotionally more hurtful.
If the guy date other girls and I saw that, I walk away from there... is it only me??? I don't
get why you think girls can chase the guy. Maybe it's
Cultural difference. Mutual
Respect is the most important in any incidents and I want same level of respect I give. And yes I majored psychology, too.
Girls do it all the time. Sleep with married men. Try to take them from their wife. Sleep with the guy they know have 3 baby mama's. Sleep with the guy they know have a woman almost every day of the week. It's that person have value to others and or wanting what you can't /shouldn't have. Then they look at the person that don't have anybody like what's wrong with them if nobody else wants them why would I want them.
some major truth 8:00!
Very interesting
Good girls like me wanna just a good respectful boy trust me I do not care about the money or the fame or whatever if the guy is genuine respectful faithful it is everything for a good girl like me, I will keep him even if he was the weakest or most poor of this world, but most guys seem to be attracted by superficial materialist easy girls never by the soul
I agree implicitly regarding your advice however I stand strong on my opinion that the same approach is also vice versa....women need to take heed also. It is not a male/female thing... It is a disfunction Al humanoid failing
awesome advice make more😆
can this apply to a broken marriage when trying to get your wife back
Nice
Will he ever come back to me?
Furthermore, What I can’t understand is why do men get extremely angry at women for women’s desires of high testosterone males and men with money but they can’t understand that they are attracted to extreme beauty in women. Men seek out the most beautiful women and they get angry when they cannot find a beautiful model type. Actually it’s the same coin but just the flip side??????
Yup!
I say the same thing😜 to Men.. I will look to date a bumm the day men wakeup in the morning and the first thing they say is "They wana date an Ugly chick"
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Though your coaching styles are... a bit different lol, you and Corey Wayne share so many of the same points
True
rambo god uhhhm i think he's explaining attachment traumas to explain why people behave the way they do in relationships or even how we handle breakups. This guy is a psychotherapist and has education for these things.
nooooo.... if I was dating a guy and they didn't care about me seeing them date someone else.... that would NOT make me chase the guy or value him more. (I'm a girl) that would make me value myself enough to leeeeeave that situation. if things aren't exclusive yet.. yeah that's a thing.... but the person you are dating still deserves respect and tact. I would feel gross that he didn't care about my feelings.. yuck. there are a few things in this video that are not on point.
You are right coach... I am more valuable than that! I am going to back off the ex and the new bo.....take a lot more time for myself and doing a lot more work! I hate to say it but f÷÷*k you guys! Its still me time! Thank you .... I needed to hear this right now! Love you love you're channel!
If my dog is sick, I’m cancelling!
No its true the lovers get all the good women, no job ok no money ok behind on child support ok alcoholic ok im serious
👏
Craig ive watch alot of your things need to address relationship im a lesbian need help there so far some helped
I used to never slept with any men on the first 4 to 6 months which was a horrible mistake. Some guys have zero clue on sexual intelligence. Now If I like the guy I want to test the sexual compatibility much sooner. Waiting for sex does not make the relationship any more valuable for it depends on what each person is searching for. Some people have nothing to offer they don't even have self grooming rituals then wonder why I don't want to date him.
Craig please reup with noise removed from audio
If a guy sleeps with me in the first date, I'll see him low value. Kidding. We do whatever we want, that doesn't mean we will attach! C'mom! Sex is good!
Coach Craig, just because you are appreciative someone does not mean they are more and you are less. You are wrong, wrong, wrong...
I don't think this is what Coach Craig is saying. He says that in a committed, respectful relationship you can be appreciative, but when you first start dating or someone isn't respectful then you need to work on holding back and creating value for yourself.
For a change, why not say how a woman should behave when a man treats her in the ways you mention in the video above.
I’m not important.
Of course you are...please watch these videos again and again and find the value that you have within yourself. I believe as Coach Craig says that we all have value and are unique.
got to comment on this one. Women sleeping with men on a first date because she knows her sexual nature, she owns it, she does not need anyone determining her values for her does not mean she has less value. This really pisses me off this advice to women. This causes serious internal conflict and division. Just my opinion but im speaking about it because i am sick of hearing this. If a man wants to de value a woman because of societies opinion of what is valuable and whats not. good for him, go right ahead, but he is not going to end up with a woman who is genuinely confident with her own sexuality. its not like women holding off for three months or what ever the going period of time is, is a historic thing, quite the opposite pre 250 years ago women were not being judged, de valued and made to feel unworthy becasue they wanted to get laid. Quite the opposite, the men loved it!
As I woman I de-value men who ask for sex on a first date. And they won't get a second date with me. The main reason being that he appears cheap: just focused on short term stuff and on appearance (since after a date you certainly cannot assess long term potential or the other's real personality). Most importantly it makes me very uncomfortable because if he is so desperate and not choosy for sex, I don't trust that he is free of STDs at all (and there are risks of transmissions even using condoms). So I think this standard goes both ways at least for some people.
I would not trust giving the key of my apartment to someone I met only once. So I am definitively gonna wait to see if he is worthy enough to allow him in my bedroom. There are gross, STD-ridden and manipulative people around and you may not realize he is one after few hours only, on a single date
I wholeheartedly agree with Carolynn. Women are sexual beings too and they have the right to sleep anyone as they see fit. I have slept with women on first dates and most of my fulfilling relationships came from being casual.
PREACH.
Rossana Motta I love your comment, I don't care what year we are, a woman who's just sleeping around just a big turn off, same goes for men too, ppl who just go from person to person having sex, when they get to the point if they are in a relationship and they don't get satisfied they'll either cheat or leave you because sex it's that important to them,plain and simple.
Yes, also these days it takes no effort to go from person to person having sex: online dating makes it so easy and accessible. You don't even need to be good looking or anything, just go online and pick someone that is also looking for random sex. If you don't have standards to protect your own body and your own value, you can be cheaper than a plastic sex toy, literally!