What caused me to realise I need to transition? Some anecdotes from my transgender life
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2024
- Hi everyone!
For those new here, my name's Andy and I'm a transgender woman who has recently started coming out and transitioning. I've been sharing my story and experience here on TH-cam as a way for me to share what's on my mind, and to help me verbalise certain things and send them into the universe.
I had a fairly slow process of realising that I am transgender, in my last video I talked a bit about how I knew I'm trans and today I discuss what things caused me to bring that idea further. How could I publicly show myself? What provoked me to decide I need to start transitioning?
As always, I'd love to hear about your experiences and your perspectives - I look forward to hearing from you all in the comments section below!
In this video I mention the personality test I took. It's this '16 Personalities' one: www.16personal... - I found it to be fairly consistent.
Also many thanks to Dalekzilla for recommending 'Robot Monster'. If you want, you can find that full movie here: • Robot Monster (1953) G...
Love and peace, Andy
Ps pls don't think women who don't want transwomen in their sports or changing rooms transphobes, many women really want to help transwomen but we have different lives and we aren't the same, but that shouldn't mean both sides can't get on
Yes absolutely, like a lot of things it depends on the nuance and attitude of everyone involved.
However, much like the idea that people ‘didn’t feel comfortable’ sharing changing rooms or other spaces with gay people, or black people, that ‘discomfort’ should at the very least be discussed.
@Andy_trans_education oh, it's because transwomen commit sexual assault against women at significantly greater rates than normal men. We don't want to be exposed to male genitalia, or the greater risk of harm. It's not about bigotry, it's about women being in danger, when we're alone with men we don't know and trust. That fear doesn't go away, just because a man says he believes he is a woman.
Data please. Meanwhile I'll leave these here for you:
Transgender people over four times more likely than cisgender people to be victims of violent crime -williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/press/ncvs-trans-press-release/
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violence_against_transgender_people_in_the_United_States
@@Andy_trans_education that’s a false equivalence. Black men or gay men sharing space with heterosexual men is completely different to a biological man (trans woman)) sharing space with biological woman. It’s completely different.
Not when the same arguments (safety) are being made. It was the same thing then, it’s the same thing now.
Let’s not pretend that transphobia is a unique and special prejudice that’s landed on the ‘right’ minority.
I admire you sharing this with the world - it can't be an easy thing to do. You are very eloquent - I wonder if you would consider going on a podcast to talk about this subject in more detail? For example, I am sure Andrew Gold would be more than willing to have you on - that's not to say he agrees with you, and wouldn't challenge you on things, but there is no malice in the conversations he has, and he has said before that transgender people won't come onto his podcast (for whatever reason), despite his willingness to discuss the subject. Personally, I am not a transgender and a lot of what I hear about the subject gives me reservations. But I am open-minded and would like to know more, and the only way this will happen is if ordinary transgender people like yourself speak to people who have reservations about various aspects. Any way, your video has given me more understanding about the issue and I am questioning some of my 'instinctive' beliefs on the topic. I just think it would be great to see someone like you talk it through in a civilised manner, and someone like Andrew Gold would be perfect! His podcast on TH-cam is called Heretics, by the way! Respect to you.
Thank you so much for taking the time to watch and leave a comment on my video.
I have to be honest, it's people like you that I really hope to reach with these videos. While I initially made these for family and friends to learn more about me and trans people in general as their understanding of me, well, transitions, I'm delighted that others like you have found some value in them as well.
I don't think that a teeny-tiny creator like me would be seen as someone with enough 'clout' to appear on a large channel with a big audience. What would he gain by having me as a guest? However, I see he's given a platform to people like Graham Linehan - an episode which describes transgenderism as a 'contagion'. In fact looking deeper, any episode about trans topics are always coming from a 'critical' lean That might be the reason why trans people shy away from him. But also if he was really, truly interested in showcasing our voices, he'd probably do more to feature us. I do see some value in trying to strike up a conversation with the 'other side', but I'd be wary of becoming a 'face of transgender people'. I've tried to converse with some 'critical' of trans folk on this channel, but those conversations can be exhausting and has affected my own mental well-being.
Thank you for the praise though, it's nice to think that what little impact I'm having has helped you understand us a bit better. That's all I can hope for, to be honest. I hope that I'll see you again. Please do continue to comment and ask questions. If there's anything you don't understand or are worried about who we are, just ask! There are no wrong questions, as far as I'm concerned, as long as they are asked with respect.
I'm very happy to meet you 😊
Have a great week, 😊 ❤️ ✌️
@@Andy_trans_education Thanks for your reply. To be honest, in regards to Graham Linehan, I think he is too focussed on the extreme side of the transgender debate (which is legitimate, but not the full picture - I mean, most men who want to be women aren't doing it to perv on women in the toilets / changing rooms and invade their safe spaces etc). But equally, I think society has been unfair to him in terms of 'cancelling' him just for having a different view.
As for you not having enough clout - I think that's why you would make such a good guest on a podcast. People like me want to hear about the issue from a normal person - not some frothing-at-the-mouth activist! You seem like a reasonable person and I am convinced a conversation with you and someone like Andrew Gold would be productive, well mannered and insightful. Don't judge him from his guests though! It was actually the episode with Peter Tatchell where Peter said to him "it would be better if you put these questions to someone who is transgender", to which Andrew exclaimed that "they won't come on!" Of course, it is up to you (and him) if you would like to appear, but in all seriousness, I think if you contacted him, he would be interested in speaking to you.
As I said, my instinctive reaction to this issue is one of resistance. Everyone thinks they would have been on the right side of the slavery debate, had they been alive at the time, but it's easy to say that with hindsight. I question whether I am on the right side of this trans debate, but in all honesty, I don't know enough about it. The only voices we hear are those extremely opposed or those extremely in favour, but I guess that's just the tribal / black and white nature of society these days (which I hate!).
Ah well I suppose the issue is for a lot of commentary, it's often the loudest and most extreme views that get the exposure. This makes everyone look bad - including those consuming that stuff (and I can't escape criticism on this point!). That's not to say that both 'sides' are equally culpable, but it would be excellent if calmer voices got more airtime.
And, yes, the right 'side' can often only become visible after the fact (and, of course is assisted by what is chosen to be taught in history class or not - see the widespread ignorance in the UK of the horrors of our colonial past). I suppose the only guiding principle anyone can have is to ask oneself 'who really is being harmed? why is this message being given?'
Obviously, I am biased, but there is little for society at large to lose in greater acceptance for trans people. While our existence taps into questions about gender, self-perception, and societal norms. Similar questions and 'concerns' about what such acceptance would mean have been asked in the past about, for example, homosexuality and racial equality. My being a transgender woman (which is a different, but no less real experience of feminity in my view, to a cis woman's) does not reduce or limit any other person's womanhood. Any more than a gay man devalues heterosexual relationships.
However, any discussion about equality sees the same kind of narrative. It's really sad and frustrating that I find myself caught in the centre of this debate when all I, and most other trans people, just want to get on with life. And that's my whole point - I'm just happy to be able to live authentically and without having to hide who I am with those around me any more.
Sorry if I'm rambling by the way, I do have a tendancy to get carried away with my writing!
@@Andy_trans_education I guess one of the main objections people have is in regards to the 'indoctrination' of children, and also irreversible medical procedures / interventions. A child cannot consent to that sort of stuff (for the same reason they cannot legally consent to sex) and I personally find it incredibly alarming that a parent would ever provide consent for that on behalf of their child. And I think it's the militant transgender activists who advocate for it that really put people off the whole 'transgender' idea.
Let me ask you this, do you wish you had done the medical stuff (hormone treatment etc) before you went through puberty? Or does that aspect of it not appeal to / bother you?
I am not a parent, but I can't imagine how it would feel to put your kid through something like that, only for them to regret it for the rest of their lives. I am not saying transgenderism is a phase, but kids definitely do go through phases, one of which could include the desire to be a different gender. It is hard for me to put myself in the shoes of such a child. Do you think it's like homosexuality in the sense that some kids know they are homosexual from an early age? As a straight, white, non-transgender male, I struggle to compute these things. Another gripe I have is the terminology / pronouns / virtue signalling bo||ocks that seems to be rife amongst the 'transgender community' ... in a similar vein, I find the whole Pride thing to be incredibly off-putting in terms of how it's rammed down everyone's throats - companies change their logo colours, police plaster rainbows all over their cars ... I am not a homophobe and I don't appreciate having it all shoved upon me so often - in the same way I would feel about anyone else trying to impose a view on me. It's this sort of stuff that I think is the reason most people have a default position that is negative towards transgender people. Palestine would be another example - these people are causing havoc in cities all over the UK every week, at great public expense in terms of policing - it just turns people off, regardless of how noble the cause is. Just Stop Oil is another example! I just wish public discourse could go back to how it used to be - pull up a video of Question Time from the year 2000 or earlier and you'll see what I mean! Everyone is just so loud and shouty these days.
I ramble too!
@JustAlex848 the focus for 'men who want to be women' is that your only focus is yourself. We women understand that not all 'trans' are perverts, the point is how would we know the difference between 'good' ones and potential predators? Plus women should be entitled to private spaces away from males. Men cannot be women, women are born not worn. We aren't make up or clothes or wigs. If men want to dress up, that's fine, but it will never make you a woman
I'm interested in any transperson who can conduct themselves with respect to women. I realise the journey is really tough and hope as you progress through it you'll always remember the first step to transitioning ... if you want to live as a woman, it is MUCH easier to do and to successfully integrate and be accepted if you always respect women (Unless they don't deserve it due to attacking you or something). So far I love how you come across and hope to follow your journey ... believe it or not many women are happy to include transwomen in most things if we have no reason not to x
Thank you.
Yes I’m happy to say that basically all the women around me are super supportive. In fact I’m going to recording a video this week to celebrate them!
Respect is a 2-way street though and if people come up my channel and be disrespectful I’ll have little time for them.
But most people here and in real life, yeah, they’re pretty good 😊
Have a great week ❤️☺️✌️
Very interesting and candid explanation of your experiences! You seem like a nice, friendly person and youre quite brave for putting this out there. I am one of those nasty right wingers so I am still sceptical about the subject, I personally believe that expressing yourself as the opposite gender is a form of displacement. Not that I want to deny that gender dysphoria is probably quite a profound and difficult thing to deal with. But from listening to you it sounded like your interest was really spawned by the desire to wear women's clothing. I wonder if there is an element of feeling more comfortable in the company of women, maybe feeling detachment from males in your life because perhaps you did not feel you lived up to the gender expectations, masculinity, etc. Im sure that is something a lot of people feel growing up and if they do not assimilate with other males growing up, perhaps that makes them more prone to dysphoria? So when you have an experience like you had in Kuala Lumpur perhaps that felt like you fitting more in with the people you felt you related better to? I would be interested to hear what your thoughts are! Even if im completely wrong in your case! Anyway wish you all the best! And I also agree with the other commenter. I watch Andrew Gold and he may be on the other side but he is very respectful to the trans people who come on and I think he has been a massive help in getting right wingers to drop their pitchforks, as he has interviewed some very pleasant trans people and shown that they can be level headed and open to conversation.
Hi,
Thanks for taking the time to watch and leave a comment.
I don't think that being transgender should be a political topic, and as such whatever someone's political affiliations, they are welcome here. Transphobia is certainly a bipartisan thing, and there are no doubt just as many red trans people as there are blue (which works, I believe for UK and US politics!). I hate that there are 'sides' to this - and basically every single feature of life these days. It's honestly exhausting, especially as I really genuinely believe that ultimately we all want the same thing, and if we were to sit somewhere and have some kind of beverage we'd find plenty we'd share.
Honestly, I don't know the driving factor which triggers or underpins all of 'this'. Clothing and appearance was only one factor. It's impossbile to relate the entirity of my childhood and thoughts as I grew up, and so often it will seem so superficial and focussing on the external side of it. That's how I came to find moments of peace and calmness and authenticity in a time when I was deeply unhappy.
So much of what I experienced was couched in feelings and emotions which are impossible to verbalise. All I know is I've lived with this experience for as long as I remember, it affected my friendships and relationships, it affected the way I saw myself. And now that I'm transitioning, I feel like I am more in tune with 'me'. That discordance is vanishing.
I recocgnise that this experience is unusual, and in a way I'm glad that it is. I'd hate others to have to live with this - and I know that I'm lucky insofar that my dysphoria was relatively mild. That does make it hard to find acceptance, but remember you don't need to understand it to respect us. I'm not a religious person any more, but I can respect the value it brings to people's lives for example.
Anyway, thank you for your questions. I have no idea if I answered them effectively so please do let me know if there's anything more you'd like to know. I do enjoy these conversations - even if I do tend to end up writing more than I expected!
Have a great week, Andy ❤️ ✌️ 😊
@@Andy_trans_education Thank you for your response! I really do appreciate it. I actually do agree it should not be political- and I feel like it rarely was in the past. I don't remember seeing many trans people growing up but I knew that "transexuals" existed and my conservative parents always taught me not to judge people because you don't know what they are going through and you should "love thy neighbour".
I think the trans discussion is only being perceived as a greater issue today because of the way the internet is used to amplify voices and tailor content to people. In essence, it created those artificial sides of allies and opponents. People who were more sympathetic to trans people are being fed discrimination stories to get outraged over, and those who are more protective over biological women and children are being fed tons of news stories about how a single person identifying as the opposite gender did something bad. Its truly absurd how both "sides" are getting outraged over isolated events happening thousands of miles away. Never before in history have we had this much information and algorithms literally feeding that specific content to us, and all it is doing is turning moderate people into extremists. I am trying to detach myself from it because I too have been carried away by the outrage culture. For years my social media feeds get filled with this when I actually haven't physically met a trans person in over a decade! Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill! It must be similar on the "other side" too. I would bet 99% of the hatred and meanness is just online.
Well I am sorry that you have been dealing with that discordance/dysphoria in yourself and I hope that you do continue to find long term peace and comfort in your body. And I don't know your reasons for becoming agnostic/atheist but don't let anybody tell you that you are not welcome, because anybody who believes in it should also believe that we are all God's children and all made in his image!
Take care!
Thank you for your compassion and thoughtful comments.
Yes, it feels like it’s far too easy to fall down the rabbit hole of outrage bait, most of which seems to be online behaviour but is bleeding into the real world.
That being said, as you mention, people in real life are supportive in person, and I’ve not detected any shifts in attitudes towards me. In fact, many people seem to appreciate my openness and honesty in coming out.
My being less religious is less about issues I have with people in organised religion (although it’s rarely a good thing when politics and religion mix - and this is true across most cultures), but there’s a lot to it. Too much to go into in a TH-cam comments box ☺️ my dad is very religious, and he’s also very much supporting me as much as he can.
This is my first video of yours, we are so alike!
Hi, nice to meet you ☺️
I hope you are also at a point where life is generally good as well.
I’d love to hear your stories if you don’t mind sharing. No pressure though !
Have a great week ☺️🍪✌️😆
@@Andy_trans_education would be happy to share my story but not on here
that's fair. If you ever need to reach out directly, you can reach me on andytranseducator@gmail.com - again, no pressure 😊
All the best, Andy ❤️