“I will divorce my wife if needed.” “I like my wife a lot better when I can’t see her.” “What if my wife is not a hot babe?” “If I have to choose me living or if my wife living I’m choosing me.” Thanks Albert, very cool.
Albert (sis vs bro), Admin idea: Become an imaginary friend for someone and go invisible when anyone else comes near so it looks like your “friend” is talking to air and he looks crazy
Albert: I’ll sacrifice my wife and I’ll leave her cold dead rotting body. After Albert escapes he gets arrested for being suspected of killing his wife.
Are you making fun of you videos I want to show you who you want to think you are but I your biggest fan and I don't like TH-camr for bullies so I might want to I don't like you or you might want to be kind but him I don't care if you say bad words I like them but I like you you are a good guy or not but I woke up
Are you making fun of you videos I want to show you who you want to think you are but I your biggest fan and I don't like TH-camr for bullies so I might want to I don't like you or you might want to be kind but him I don't care if you say bad words I like them but I like you you are a good guy or not but I woke up
I like how there are references to the actual movie in the game such as the backwards shotgun and the toilet room with a glowing x in it. There probably are more that I haven't noticed
When flamingo said “yippee” near the beginning of the video, I thought he said “you’re me!” If he really said “you’re me” then flamcos is going through some depresssion.
The Bible says in John 3:16-36 that whoever believes in the Lord Jesus Christ shall not perish but have everlasting life, the Bible also says in Romans 10:9 that those who declare with their mouth that Jesus Christ is their God, Lord, and Savior they shall be saved. Revelation 1:8 says that Jesus is the alpha and the omega. Luke and revelation is the ending times, and Jesus is returning back. So are you going to submit your life to him or no? Narrow is the path that leads to the gates of heaven, but only few people find it. The gates that is the path to destruction is where many people find it! Jesus loves you SO MUCH! That he died on the cross, and was resurrected from the dead 3 days later to give us eternal life.
“Saw has found out about your activities” “Good thing he didn’t find out about the other things” Ah, yes, a family friendly TH-camr sneaking adult jokes into his content
Albert play the game called “Dead Silence” either alone or with Kaden/Kirstin (sorry if I spelled Kirstin wrong) please like so Albert can see because it’s a fun game
I just realize that saw isn’t a bad guy, he put you through all these things to make you appreciate life because you killed people who actually did appreciate life, Saw knows some good lessons we should all be grateful that we are alive
The game: "here, have a hot wife!" Me: "she not hot" Albert: "I have a wife!?" *looks excited* *final stage and the wife appears* Albert: "she not hot, I'mma just let her die!" Me: "told u"
Albert at the beginning: “If at the end I have the choice to save me or my wife I’m definitely choosing me, bro. AND I WANNA WATCH HER DIE.” Albert at the end: *surprised & sad pikachu face when she dies AND he watches*
Ok i might not like bc this was funny but ik ur happy u got a lot of likes i just dont like when people say they get a lot srry if what i said was mean 😣😣🥺🥺🥺 lots of luv btw congrats on ur likes that something i will never get lol
Game: "You and your wife"
Albert looked so proud and happy
*five seconds later*
Albert: take her Idc
Ok
WAIT IF YOUR A GIRL you have a husband!
*Insert lenny face*
Kiersten:rlly Albert
“People who don’t appreciate life doesn’t deserve life”
Man that kinda hurt
I am going to stop this right now!
What is this ..
WhAt is this
*What on earth has happened here*
ჰჰυῆძპპ: "ჰυἶῆჰἶცßἶც ჰἶცßἶჰἶცßἶჰἶცßἶlჰ"...
ιF ү0u ωαηт 103к rõвυ χ
! !....
D0nT góôgLε Foя : " my667code "
albert: "i want to watch her die"
kirsten: *panics*
*panik*
Vanna Banana xD
*P A N I C*
Kirsten watched this video
Kirsten: hey Albert I think we need to break up
Oh yea i forgot about Kirsten xD
albert: **cuts off arm**
game: you’re all good
albert:**steps on glass**
game: ur ded boi
Yeah
that's roblox for ya
okay..
Yeah
Hand not arm
10:58 Albert: "I actually love her."
Title: I sacrificed my WIFE in ROBLOX SAW...
*THIS IS RIDICULOUS*
Reiner Vogel SHUDDUP SCAMBOT
I’M DROWNING AAAAAA
STOP
FAKE CODES EWWW
Albert: “My wife? *I’m married?*”
*Kirsten is shaking*
No she's quivering in fear
jen bear he’s not married
Oof! Yeah
Oof! 🤦🏾♂️ nah shit
He sounded so exctied too xD
Albert:”I don’t have anything”
Me: we’ve all been there brother
1 sub before 2022 ? Why did I read this in Albert’s voice 😂
ngl i think itd be funnier w/o the 'me:' part,, no offense, that format's just insanely overused n stuff,, have a good day mate
bruther*
i subbed
*read channel name*
I'VE GOT YOU HOMIE
0:41 “IM MARRIED!?”
LOOK HOW HAPPY HE GOT!!!!!!!
Person Eyeball yah he looked so happy that he was married
13:22 and look how happy he got when she died
@@alexjacobson4176 haha hah...heh..uh..
Dr. Smiles Albert has all Wanted to have a wife nothing sadness in alberts life
@@alexjacobson4176 BAHAHAHHAHAA
Albert: *"I sacrificed my WIFE in ROBLOX SAW..."*
Kirsten: *bye bye felicia*
•Fall3n Dorito• omg xD
Oml X3
Omg lol
Oof xP
•Fall3n Dorito• bruhther
“I will divorce my wife if needed.”
“I like my wife a lot better when I can’t see her.”
“What if my wife is not a hot babe?”
“If I have to choose me living or if my wife living I’m choosing me.”
Thanks Albert, very cool.
Ok so...
That's only 4 he is getting better
Kirsten watches this and desides not to propose
S I M P ?
“now that I finally got rid of that nagging wife”
Albert (sis vs bro), Admin idea: Become an imaginary friend for someone and go invisible when anyone else comes near so it looks like your “friend” is talking to air and he looks crazy
Good idea
Thx
nice
Def
Sounds fun
Albert going the wrong way and saying
"I hate myself"
Is my daily mood
“Is that a page?”
Paige: no...
Itz_ Bri lol
@@joemama8808 ok
@@BryyXOXO_. ok?
Lol
lol
Albert: "I'm married?!"
Kirsten:
*I ' m s u r e y o u a r e*
Edit: I know they're not married rn, It's a joke.
they might be married but they are not right now
Lol
Morgan M the
They are not married they are boyfriend and girlfriend
_and I oop_
Nobody gonna talk about when he said “good thing he didn’t know about the other stuff” MY dude are you DiRtryce
ikr
Wha
įpŁåŸz ROBLOX ok
I dont wanna know what he meant by that...
I swear he said so many things in this that taken out of context could sound very wrong-
The thumbnail: Albert throwing his gf into a huge fan
When you said huge fan I thought you meant like on of the buster huge fans....
@@cillmyself I did for min or sec but then I looked again at teh thumbnail
Then I understand
Yes
Where is the punchline
Hmmmm that kinda sus
Albert: I’ll sacrifice my wife and I’ll leave her cold dead rotting body.
After Albert escapes he gets arrested for being suspected of killing his wife.
Don’t sacrifice your wife she’s the love of your life☹️❤️
@@latorrere ok boomer
@@tdimybeloved No... He's got a point... But SIMP
Yeahhhhh
*Epic furry and gacha hunter has lost all respect : using a dead meme*
Saw: Who do you want to sacrifi-
Albert: *MY WIFE!*
Kaden & Jake: **Happiness noise**
What about selozar
Saw? That's the name of the movie. The name of the character is jigsaw, and he is a mass murderer. Flamingo says it too.
@@ciaranmclaughlin628 Ok Einstein
What about Paige and Adam
albert's uncomfortable with people shipping him with kaden and jake.
Albert: Hmmm I should title this “I sacrifice my wife in a game of saw”
FBI Agent: Should we-
Other FBI Agent: Nah he always does this.
Lol this is underrated
Tru tho
first time i actually laughed at a comment. yes. 😂
IKR 🙃
LOL
" *You get to suffer in silence, and you get to suffer in loneliness. Yippee!* "
Thanks, Albert.
Albert: Everytime I die I will donate 1,000 dollars to a random noob
*doesn't*
Random Noobs: ;~;
Random Noobs: Am I a joke to you?
Man I wanted some of that roux
1 2 3 me
@New-York Jones 3:52
@New-York Jones 3:51
Jigsaw: "I've watched every move of your pathetic life."
Albert: **quickly says** "On TH-cam"
Are you making fun of you videos I want to show you who you want to think you are but I your biggest fan and I don't like TH-camr for bullies so I might want to I don't like you or you might want to be kind but him I don't care if you say bad words I like them but I like you you are a good guy or not but I woke up
@@demagnetizer100yearsago5 what..?
• mxxn angel • autocorrect game
@@tostring_ haha I know he just tapped random words from auto correct because he has no life
"Sometimes you see more with your eyes shut"
Flamingo:*closes eyes*
i SeE sIsTeRs EvErYtHiNg.
don’t u mean
I sEe EvErYtHiNg SiStErS.
I too, am one of the video viewers
T H E ALIEN O F U N K N O W N don’t *YOU* mean, “Sisters I see everything”
@@soda3364 q
Lol*the*
The
*the*
The
“I’m going to choose myself, and I WANT TO WATCH MY WIFE DIE” his girlfriend is in some serious trouble...
Hahahah ya
Like ur profile
Lol
" *Good thing he hasn't found out about my other stuff.* "
What other stuff.
W h a t o t h e r s t u f f , A l b e r t ?
I saw your profile pic and read it and I died
lol
that he is really a flamingo
Bean Sceen sonic and Obama kisses
A l b e r t s s t u f f
Albert: I am a genius the game didn’t expect this
Me: no one expected this
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition
How is shrek?
Are you making fun of you videos I want to show you who you want to think you are but I your biggest fan and I don't like TH-camr for bullies so I might want to I don't like you or you might want to be kind but him I don't care if you say bad words I like them but I like you you are a good guy or not but I woke up
@@BX--nq6gf brother*
@@demagnetizer100yearsago5 NOW THESE ARE TRUE FACTS
Albert: “I’m married?!”
Kirsten: *a l b e r t i s w e a r -*
They are dating, :/
Their not even married yet ;';
Their dating
EPIC
Bro u got the whole squad laughing
Me: **Reads title.**
My mind: **YOU TALKING BOU- BOU- BOU- BOUT MA WIFE?!**
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I remember that meme 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@rabdurrahmammuhammad6190 🤣
Albert: “I’ll pay random noobs when I die”
Me: “Are you sure about that”
Yeah xd
Uhh he’s probably gonna donate a million times lol
Lollll
I sure hope he does
I want robux also I am juliothevijilante777
I like how there are references to the actual movie in the game such as the backwards shotgun and the toilet room with a glowing x in it. There probably are more that I haven't noticed
The blood sacrifices too
hacksaw
and the hacksaw from the first movie
The reverse bear trap
Nobody:
Literally nobody:
Albert: gets scared by menu opening
Nobody:
You: *makes 2 comments with same format*
Movie Trailers source you have one like every minute lol
Im 100th like epic
dude, you don’t know he does that for comedy
its a shotgun
I like how whenever he dies in a game he either “hates his life” or “I hate myself” XD
“Face your fears, face your fears.”
Me, running out of the bathroom after turning the lights off
Same brother
lol thats weird as soon as i saw that comment he said that XD
Or after flushing the toilet lol
Same
And the basement😔
0:36
Albert: "Good thing he hasn't found out about the others"
Me: the What
CrystalCat Animation ALBERTSSTUFF
ALBERTSSTUFF
*albertsstuff flashbacks intensifies*
ALBERTSSTUFF DUH
Albert: "Ill give away 1000 robux for each death"
Albert at the end: "NAAAAHHH"
Lol
no.
.Y.E.S.
NAHHH
Keith
Albert/Flamingo: *closes eyes* “SiStErS, I cAn SeE eVeRyThInG nOw!!”
“You get to suffer in silence, and you get to suffer In loneliness.”
everybody during the virus
NachoTheGreat
Except for us un affected introverts
Yipee
SpacePotato_ Xx yes this is so true I myself is an introvert
Just sound like normal life
@@rookiecookie7853 Rookie Cookie
“You’ve played roulette with other people’s lives, today you play with your own” - honestly one of the most terrifying but also badass lines ever.
Ok randy
Their are kids here just some might not be but still I’m just sayin
I’m sorry if that offended you I was just trying to make a fun/funny line sorry if I offended ya.
@@emilyixmay stfu emily dont diss him
emily Ixmay there’s literally a hat on roblox called “badass shades” or something of the sorts, lol.
Albert: "That's locked
Albert: "That's locked
Albert: "That's locked
10 minutes later
Albert: "That's locked
Minuted lol
@@igorpiotrkowski1543 OOF
I mean't minutes- Auto replace
Guys I think its locked
*me* AHHH STOP TALKING toni cantrell *FLAMINGOS OK VOICE * ok
Jigsaw: Your actions have caused these innocent people to lose their lives.
Albert: Well that sucks
"Sacrificing my wife"
kirsten: *runs away fast*
She's his gf
Popcorn Butter we all want them to get married tho
Perfect plan to get views
@@Abyniq boi its a joke
@@Abyniq no shit sherlock
When flamingo said “yippee” near the beginning of the video, I thought he said “you’re me!” If he really said “you’re me” then flamcos is going through some depresssion.
Hope you get better
@@getfreerobuxcheckmychannel4734 no
Curaphix wait me?
best of luck, brother. it’ll get better, i hope. we can all do this..i also hope
“Good thing he didn’t find out about the *other stuff*” me: What
*other stuff? OtHeR stUfF?*
The other stuff is his usual hobbies like games, eating food, drawing(idk), and hanging out with his girl
That's the old Alberta I remember
Milk Milkthegod woah bruthr this is a family friendly yewtuwb channel
tax evasion
13:21 me walking out of quarantine (I hope) like:
This deserves more likes
Jigsaw: *You have learned to appreciate life*
Albert: *Now that I finally got rid of that nagging wife*
Std
We literally saw the video you don't need to type it in the comments
@@mazey1927 you don't have any sense of humor
*what???*
@@mazey1927 yeah it bothers me but when theres a funny part and it's repeats it's good to bring it up and make a good laugh :)
Me: **looks at title**
Also me: Ooooh, Kirsten's gonna be maaad...
I bet she already is
Ikr
Flamingo at the start: “I will donate 1000 robux too random noobs every time I die”
Flamingo at the end: *Gets 8 deaths and doesn’t donate anything*
Shut up
Why does he need to shut up
@@kingm1581 No u shut up
ikr lol
@@kingm1581 and no u shut up
Game: *The tape plays*
TH-cam: *Plays advert about dog hair and vacuum cleaners*
The Bible says in John 3:16-36 that whoever believes in the Lord Jesus Christ shall not perish but have everlasting life, the Bible also says in Romans 10:9 that those who declare with their mouth that Jesus Christ is their God, Lord, and Savior they shall be saved. Revelation 1:8 says that Jesus is the alpha and the omega. Luke and revelation is the ending times, and Jesus is returning back. So are you going to submit your life to him or no? Narrow is the path that leads to the gates of heaven, but only few people find it. The gates that is the path to destruction is where many people find it! Jesus loves you SO MUCH! That he died on the cross, and was resurrected from the dead 3 days later to give us eternal life.
@@jebbyking8825 thx for spreading your religion, but I really couldn't care less
“You can save your wife”
“....Or you can save the hacksaw, like I did”
-Albert 2020
3:20 “I want to watch her DIE”
10:58 “I actually love her”
Lol
Moon 3:21*
hypocrisy at its finest
What
10:58 is a joke
2:58 when he said “is that a page” I genuinely expected Paige the editor to pop up and say something
IsaacJDX Bro me too! I thought she might have put her face in the paper or something
Same
Albert : Only the smartest of gamers understand this one
Albert : *falls through plank*
Lol
Me: Albert Is Officially Married-
[Insert Applauding]
-Savannah_ Chan- [insert -me- fangirls crying
Hello i am the first person reply (:
IKR
Game: jigsaw has figured out about your activities me: as long as he doesn’t see my search history we’re good
Sky Billings lol
-nope- _hmm_ *yes yis*
Same.
i dont get it
Oh yes
"Sacrificing My Wife"
Kirsten: Yes..Get Rid Of Her..
(I Fixed The Spelling Error)
*Kirsten
CoolJames West , oop
@@marinalxver *Krabapple
OH WIFE AND GIRL FRIEND I REMEMBER
*oop*
“Haha my wife, I didn’t even have to suffer that much”
Albert-2020
4:21
“Sometimes you can see more with your friends eyes shut.”
*Sleep paralysis has entered the chat*
Lmao
What about lucid dreaming it's a better way
Bots are everywhere
@@blazeshroom ikr
What is rõвυ χ i dont think that exists sorry
Albert: I’m the smartest gamer and the cutest gamer
Me: YES SO TRUE
MrCatTheGreat real fans will disagree
Kat Hassell true
@@asht0nkai on the smartest part yea
Kat Hassell
Big true
Alberto: Good thing he didn't find out about the other stuff
Dirty minds: I-
Welcome to TH-cam, I see you joined an hour ago. 😁
olivia campbell IKR
laughing my brain off
Earthworm Sally I salute you as a person. Not related to this comment. I am literally 10...
@@toolazytodoausername7954 Yes, worship me. I am superior to all you smelly creatures.
I swear he’s the only thing that makes me genuinely smile :)
I saw the title “I sacrificed my wife...” and in my head I honestly thought *of course Albert sacrifices his wife* 😂💕
So right aswell lol ❤
L0L
Same
•Ho̸nii Kits• I thought he cheated on kirsten and married the woman
I thought it was a two player game and he was sacrificing Kirsten
Albert: “Jigsaw has found out about your activities”
Also Albert: “Good thing he didn’t find out about the other stuff..”
Me: “OoP”
Adair Lee ok
Good thing he didn't find out about my addiction to edited Peppa Pig episodes
“Saw has found out about your activities”
“Good thing he didn’t find out about the other things”
Ah, yes, a family friendly TH-camr sneaking adult jokes into his content
Or was he ever a family friendly?
@@mr_bry4nt554 yes on Flamingo, but on Albertstuff .. no
iamd1fficult at some point, yes
Mr YEET lol
No he’s not kids friendly currently
I love how happy Albert got when he found out he is *married* in the game 😂
“I am the smartest gamer” “Oh my god the dorr was right there im so *stupid*”
Did you mean door?
yep
Iswando Mardio Dude what the hell I just said your name out loud and my furniture started floating.
Door*
@@monkeysquad8987 well im still on the ground
Albert play the game called “Dead Silence” either alone or with Kaden/Kirstin (sorry if I spelled Kirstin wrong) please like so Albert can see because it’s a fun game
The Donut Avocadoシ no
@@jinnie4739 hey I just wanted to say I'm first to reply to your post
The Donut Avocadoシ he actually should !
That game was scary af
He should do it with kirstin
Jigsaw: you and your wife have been-
albert: I'm MaRrIeD?
"you and ur wife have been captured"
Albert--I'm married!!
Kirsten-ur cheatin on me albert..
13:21 every person who escapes saw alive.
No, when Corina virus is over and you survive
Like 2 people
Amanda just continued cutting herself
Lily Cavannaholliwell ah a fan of saw I see
Yep, my picture shows it all
when he said *”I’m married?!”* I died of cuteness 🥺
Yesssss!
kinley green - LMAO
@kinley green LMAO😂😂😂😂😂
kinley green LMAO
Aww that's my dream
“Sometimes you can see more with your eyes closed” *albert closes his eyes* “Sisters....I can see everything now....”
I just realize that saw isn’t a bad guy, he put you through all these things to make you appreciate life because you killed people who actually did appreciate life, Saw knows some good lessons we should all be grateful that we are alive
Albert: “Oh look diarrhea”
Me: *eating chocolate ice cream* :T ...Ah I’m used to it by now.
Chocolate icecream s u c c
3:37 That trap is called Magnum Eyehole. It is a security trap.
Thanks for the information,Sir.
Welcome
Ice crema magnum ilhckgxfnv
Flamingo: *doesn't post for a day*
Me: *sits in the corner with a pistol and crys* "It's been seven years since the apocalypse..."
Same lol 🙃
I’m the same
My sister:REEEEEEEE
me:sitting in the corner witha gun “i want to see another flamingo video
Sorry if it’s kinda like yours-Flanders fire
I get triggered how people don’t know how to spell cries pwq
also that’s me but when i can’t find anything on TH-cam after a day
Same
Im the 69th like how epic
Albert at the beginning of the video: IM MARRIED?! Albert 2 seconds later: if my wife dies I wanna watch her die
Albert : "Thats acctually kinds scary"
Flamingo: "FACE YOUR FEARS , FACE YOUR FEARS , FACE YOUR FEARS"
Amy Murphy But Albert *IS* _Flamingo_
boi
Amy Murphy Kinda*
Amy Murphy he only said it twice so... 😐
Whos flamingo? I only know albert
Albert: *sees his wife die*
Albert when he gets out alive with out his wife
Albert: CHA CHA REAL SMOOTH
Literally no one:
Not a single person on this planet:
Albert: what if my wife is a hot babe
Albert be like REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE we be like what the F is that man doing with his life
What was the point of this, why did you list who said what before posting an exposition about what Flamingo said????
Then Kirsten will kill him
@@orchidofkhalida ikr
Why do these scammers exist
Albert: my wife is not as attractive as that man. Kristan: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!
"Sacrificing my wife"
Yup seems like Albert
So thats why Albert doesn't have a wife yet
cwc colby crb cwc is the best im pretty sure thats a joke
Albert: “I’m married?”
Alberts Girlfriend: HOW COULD YOU ItS ovEr *snIff*
her name is Kirsten
The worst part is that she's edit the videos
Lucas El Vago no she doesn’t actually. If u were a true fan u would know Paige mostly edits. Then Znac? Also does.
The 2 Sisters shut up gatcha life
@@keiragreen_5683 its adam
The game: "here, have a hot wife!"
Me: "she not hot"
Albert: "I have a wife!?" *looks excited*
*final stage and the wife appears*
Albert: "she not hot, I'mma just let her die!"
Me: "told u"
ĶøłãĶįňq :} lol
13:20 June Leaving Reach after his entire team died and the planet was glassed
Sis vs bro: Only the smartest man on earth understands this!
**ten seconds later* Oh the key goes right there IM StUIpId
Ok
Ok
Ok
🙂
13:11 my face when my dad said I'm going to get milk
He should return back since all the shops have closed
Same lol
Albert: “I’ve watched your pathetic life”
Also Albert: **whispers** on TH-cam”
Me: Why did he add that up???
Albert: for every death is 1000 robux to group members.
me finishing the video: bruh he has 8 deaths
Albert at the beginning: “If at the end I have the choice to save me or my wife I’m definitely choosing me, bro. AND I WANNA WATCH HER DIE.”
Albert at the end: *surprised & sad pikachu face when she dies AND he watches*
Thanks for no spoiler alert 😊
Lol
I never “saw” that one coming!
Latonia Linear good one
nice one XD
Lol XD
@Alina Moya no it’s I “saw” what you did there 😂
Latonia Linear NO GOD PLEASE NO
“Press E to open doors”
Me: “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”
cringe :/
@@SNOLLYS true
@@SNOLLYS no u
@@son1c_gamer no u
@@reagan5547 no u
This video, made me realize, someone actually loved albert, he is no longer lonely
I was really hoping for Albert to say “I hope my wife is a hot babe” but NO
1:37 kinda close to it
Flamingo's wife: hears flamingo screaming and talking to himself
Also Flamingo's wife: why didnt I marry *luisgamercool23* instead?
Vuxes Void FlAmInCo DoEsN’t HaVe A wIfE
Lemme guess this is ur roblox username?
SifAhmed it’s a thing flamingo made
Me: **hates social interaction**
Albert: “face your fears.”
Covid19: “look how the turntables”
Lol
Look how the turned has tables...
Albert: good thing he doesn’t know about other stuff...
Police: hmmmmm interesting...
“The more landmines I step on, the less there are!”
Me : “And the more robux you give to noobs!”
- LittleTacoMisfit - and he ends up not giving any robux
True
I wouldn't say noobs-
That One Dude That Burned Down The Orphanage XD I know
Ok i might not like bc this was funny but ik ur happy u got a lot of likes i just dont like when people say they get a lot srry if what i said was mean 😣😣🥺🥺🥺 lots of luv btw congrats on ur likes that something i will never get lol
Police in movie: kicks down door
Also police: oh okay, there's a door, I'm literally stupid
"I'm married????"
Kirsten: *[confused screaming]*
LOL
"Are you sure about that?" "I like my wife better when I can't see her" "CAN ONGOING"