You're just being dismissive and not acknowledging that ghosting is an emotional reaction. Men have emotions too, and it's quite telling on how well you value their emotions. Relationships have become a one way street for women and their emotions, and there's no room for men on that street.
I agree for the most part, but if a person is stalking you and only feeding off of your responses, then it’s good to ghost; I read/heard-and experienced-that cutting off contact with emotionally unstable people shows them that you won’t give them attention, and they eventually give up and find other targets (It’s sad, but at least the attention’s off of you!).
You don’t GET closure from the other person. Don’t give them that power. Define the experience - discomforting as it has been - for yourself. And move on.
Basic decency aside, ghosting shuts down the possibility of a comeback at a later point. It was hilarious to see how some of my past dates who quietly disappeared into the sunset made a sheepish attempt to get together again after a few months.
Yeah they think that by not breaking up clearly, the doors remain open for later. Stupid AF. They don't get that such attitude is a big no-no for now and later
Sometimes, I think, ghosting doesn't conclude an end of the relationship. So if a person ghosts instead of breaking up then their mind set is they might return sometime to pick up the relationship. I just had a long term relationship end this way because I found out that I have been seriously lied to and I called this ex to tell him what I found out and now he won't communicate with me. He is not only a ghost but a coward. I have lost all respect for this loser.
It's so disrespectful...rude and low class...shows they lack basic common decency and integrity....selfish in every way...who in the he'll really want that..move on...i truly believe ppl that do this is truly mentally unhinged
@@PVAPlayy how did you know they were insane and incapable? at least try with people send them a text, then if they start completely insulting you for no reason then you don't have to reply or you can tell them that you won't engage in a convo unless they are respectful. Solved. Maybe you think women are incapable of handling rejection because you yourself can relate to not being able to handle it? If a guy nicely told me he didn't se it working out, unless he had lead me on immensely and told me he loved me or some shit, or even then. I would just say okay, thanks for communicating that (insert opinion on it) wish him the best for the future and go our separate ways. The truth is you owe people a healthy end, and if you can't give it, then maybe you don't deserve it either. I would and have never ghosted a guy I was dating.
while lieing is a universal trait- ghosting is not.. If your relationship has included face to face contact then ghosting shows a lack of integrity and disrespect and a lack of maturity that is behind both the hurt and non universality of this phenomenal and what we have had to make up a term, a new vocabulary to explain this
I was watching a show about the serial killers Leonard Lake and Charles Ng. Paul Cosner failed to show up for a date with his girlfriend. Since this was the '80s, his girlfriend panicked, called his sister, and they called the police after looking and calling around for him. These days, the girlfriend would have thought her boyfriend was just ghosting her, and if she called his sister, she'd be a stalker. And poor Paul Cosner would have been missing and murdered without the police even being notified. So think about that next time you decide to ghost someone--you're just hurting yourself and others. And ghosting is horrible; my ex did this to me after introducing me to his family at Christmas, talking about kids and family, and telling me he loved me. I was devastated, and I trust no one anymore. I know a man can just disappear with no explanation no matter how much I love him. You can at least call and say, "I'm sorry, but I just don't think things are going to work out for us. I wish you well."
tosca donna sorry you went through that I’m sure it was a blessing in the long run you wouldn’t want to be married to someone with bad character and who is a coward
@Maharaj of MGTOW Sexist. Nagging is when you said you would do something, you must have lied!! We still love your sorry ass even though you stopped loving us before we nagged!!
This happened to me in the middle of a conversation. He was super keen. I was just as keen. He disappeared midst sending heart emojis and making plans together. Then he's just gone, forever. I thought we had great chemistry and it was lovely while being on dates. 😑😑 I get if there was never an interest, but if he's insisting on dating you..and then..nothing? Seemingly changed his mind in 30 seconds. Over WhatsApp. I don't understand.
this hit a nerve.. Ive ghosted so much in the past and just recently been ghosted. I never knew how fucked up ghosting someone is you have dated, that i just texted a few past exs and apoligized.
amazingly..i want to give you a big high five.. every time one person stands up to rectify a wrong, even if we personally didn't benefit by your action.. All of us,benefit..
Bad intention for ghosters: 1. Ghosters were ghosted before so they believe it is normal to ghost, or try to revenge by ghosting. 2. Ghosters are worried about breakup drama that damages their reputation (work, life etc). 3. Ghosters have no respect to you and don’t think/care you deserve an official goodbye. 4. Ghosters want to leave it open so easier to come back. Bad intentions or with justifiable reason: 1. Ghosters don’t want to breakup officially to avoid difficult feelings, possibly for both. 2. Ghosters had physical or mental accidents and died or disabled or etc.
We should all see ghosting as immaturity. He does it. Shut the door to any relationship between you and that person, throw away the key, but be nice at arms length. Don't be friends with them because there view of you is unhealthy. They have little respect for you. Be nice to them at arms length if you ever meet them. That's it. MOVE ON AND DO NOT LOOK BACK.
Story of my life. I rarely go on dates. The last one was 4 years ago roughly. Needless to say I didn’t get a second date and I’ve never gotten a second date. I’m polite and don’t say anything weird or creepy to my dates. I’m literally the 30 year old virgin. All the ghosting and rejection has really fucked up my mental health. I’m clinically depressed. The ghosting is a big reason I have self image issues. Since I get ghosted and no explanation I just assume it’s because I’m hideous. Like I legit avoid mirrors and never take photos. I completely loathe myself and am suicidal.
The fact that there is such a thing as ghosting, and that it has happened to me (although all of the guys who have done that ended up coming back to me weeks later, even apologizing) helps get me worried that some other guys are doing it when they really aren't. Sometimes I even think that if a guy is online on FB and hasn't returned my last message, even if it's still on 'delivered' and not 'read,' that he's purposely ignoring me, when that usually ends up not being the case but I often end up messaging him again just to test if he is or not. BTW I just discovered your channel today and you seem what my millennial generation, especially us females, needs!
I ghosted this single mother who was very manipulative. She lies compulsively, and her last lie was the last time I communicated with her. She wants to bs her way back, uses her children's phones and went to my Sister and Mom to convince them. No coward here, I just don't have the time for a cheater and a liar.
Exactly, sometimes ghosting is appropriate. Everyone doesn't deserve or even needs an explanation. There are people that just wont get it through their heads that its over and wont take no for answer.
Then tell her..yes a closure is as much of a necessity as an introduction was.. This isn't a request for an evaluation or agreement but it is feedback..an explanation and yes, as a comment regarding your character..it is a requirement
+Billy Ganes...She deserved a closure or a conversation no matter what. For you its comfortable but if its gonna be done to you u will feel what the hell. Someone else will get it done to your bad ass.
ive been ghosted by guys i didnt have actual official relationships with and that was already horrible, but ive had one of the most shocking years of my life as someone with PTSD already, when my longterm bf (together for over 2 years) suddenly switched onme a few months ago, ghosted me on my birthday, then after i gave him some space and eventually contacted again, he like semi-dumped me but not really, and was all unsure, then ghosted again, then would reply to me like once a week til he totally disappeared. after he was always saying how he would never leave me, would always be there for me, and would give his life for me. he had still said those thigns and how much he loved me up til a few days before he got weird on me. i usually wouldnt fall for dudes making big statements like that if we werent together for long, or we were just "talking," but to be with someone for years who was so serious about me to do this is astonishing.
I agreed with about 95% of this video... what got me was when he went into "trusting". I'm sorry, but I don't trust just anyone, even some people that are close to me. There is no way in hell that im going to trust a guy as soon as we meet and start "dating" it think it's very naive if you do. I will not openly invite someone into my "walls" even if they are better than the rest (so far all of the guys I've met and dated have been horrible so why would I openly trust the next when there is a 95% chance he's just as horrible?). I won't treat a guy like shit...I'll be decent but at least show me that I have a reason to trust you, else it just will not happen. When you keep getting hurt.... you slowly give up and lose all hope that there are decent guys out there.
Same with me, but I’m sorta different. For me, it only needs to happen once, then I don’t trust the entire world! I’ve only had one encounter where I just lost hope completely. And I know people will be like, “But that was only once! Just try again my dude! Not all people are like that!”. Although it may be true, I am smart enough to not make the same mistake twice. I’ve been led on in the relationship only to find out she never liked me at all and was just using me for attention. It truly broke my heart, and even now I have a really hard time when a girl is super nice to me and constantly sweet talks me saying all the right things. For me, I find most women unattractive because I am more emotional rather than visual. The girl who I liked who said all those things that peaked my interest and got me hooked wasn’t even that beautiful, she wasn’t ugly but she was quirky and kinda cute (she was a 5/10 or 6/10). Usually, the reason why people fall for charmers is because the victim has low self esteem. Maybe the charmer picks up on this and gives them all the things they wanna hear. It’s like a snake oil salesman trying to sell you bs by having his foot on the door and saying “but wait there’s more!”. If you ever run into these charmers or love bombers, just be polite, take it with stride, and realize that they are just trying to get your attention by being super friendly and being grossly attached to you. This will test your emotional strength, character, and maturity. When I was young and immature, I was emotionally naive and vulnerable. But when this happened, I developed the strength to realize that I am worth more than just flattery and false attraction. I personally believe that it is better to be alone, trust yourself, and be comfortable by yourself, than be with someone who constantly leads you on. I am forever grateful for this experience as it made me more mature. I hope you can learn something from my experience or gain a little insight since it might prove useful to you in any future endeavors. Best of luck to you mate! Oh and one more thing: In the words of existentialist philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, “That which does not kill you, can only make you stronger”.
I just had a guy do something that he knew would piss me off in order to end the relationship. isn't that messed up!!! just fucking speak to me. if you don't want to see me anymore then say it, don't ignore me and make me upset by being a jerk
This is such brilliant advise. You don't flip to the end of the book. Dont let your old insecurities bleed into this one. I know what happened this was it. I lead with fear when I started to like him more. Thank you so much.
Was with someone.....talked over 50 hrs. 5 hours at a time then we met still wonderful chemistry. Blah blah. We have a date on sat then nothing...especially when he said the night before he has a few things in mind for our suprise date. It's just so open then nothing.....wow just floored.
It is quite possible that he told a few lies and suddenly realized he wouldn't be able to continue lying to you if you got to know him better. I got ghosted by someone who told me that he loved me and I told him the same thing. He also said that no one else on the planet loved him. Then, poof!
I read the comments and want to let you know that I appreciatte your willingness to speak about human relationships and dating with a focus on equal non-judgemental behavior. What you say makes alot of sense. For years I tried to figure out how to tell if someone I meet is going to be a good person who treats me with respect from the start and had my share of heartbreak over the years. I am a human analyzer/ scientist attempting to figure it all out. In the end you just never know until you have spent enough time to observe someone's behavior and life paradigms. Just like you cannot tell who is racist, you cannot tell if someone is a narcissist, a caveman or a manipulative self centered user in two dates. Sometimes you can but some hide it when they want something from you. So your advice is smart. Smart and successful women and men trust themselves, protect themselves, value themselves and do their due diligence in order to not be played. You can't always win because life is unpredictable. Pain is inevitable when you truly live and take risks but you can choose to be smart about it. I appreciatte your advice on teaching people to treat each other and themselves with dignity and respect. I know there are great men and women out there and you give good advice on how to find them and succeed. Thanks again!
A few months ago I ghosted a guy after the first date because I didn't wanna tell him he stank. It just felt like the best way for him. I can't remember any other time doing it.
One date does not make a relationship. Ghosting a person in that situation is reasonable. If you'd been dating the guy for 10 years then in that case you would owe him an explanation; he would deserve to hear the truth from you. Same if the reverse was true.
luulips No i meant if you werent interested because he was stinky. You could of just texted him you wasnt in him because you didnt make a good match or something like that.
James Solbakken I dont agree. I know in todays world its mostly acceptable to ghost if its just one date. Im not buying it. It didnt use to be like this pre internet dating. Now if the person doesnt call you back after the date then you can assume mutual no interest. At that point im in agreement. If the person is still contacting you after the date ( even if its just 1 date) then in my book its NOT OK to just ghost.
OH! So men never ghost? I've just been "ghosted" by a man that wants to go touring on his motorbike for the summer, what does he think I'm gonna do for 3 months, sit twiddling my thumbs? Oh, and he's only 70, and lied about being divorced, he's only separated. I text him, and told HIM where to go, NOT NICE!!!!!!
Tabula Rasa I believe the only unconditional love comes from Jesus Christ to us and parents with children. Every other relationship especially romantic relationships are transactional!
Sometimes the issue is that you write a nice note of “thanks but I’m not feeling a connection but good luck” and some people have responded angrily to that message. I still prefer the high road, but I try to use my judgment about who I think could hear that respectfully and who may be better off just letting it go...after just one date, I don’t think letting it go is disrespectful. After a few dates, when more is invested, generally makes sense, though.
Men need to learn that putting on a show (boring self talk) for a whole date, is counter productive and gets them nowhere. I've been out with men who take encouragement, validation and praise as an opportunity to talk even more about themselves, after not letting me get a word in edge ways all night. I've always refused to continue to see these men after a couple of dates, no matter whether I've liked them or they've liked me. I've sensed they've been really keen, but I haven't been able to get past this behavior, because it looks as if they are possibly selfish, egotistical, definitely boring and maybe at worst even sexist - maybe they think what a man has to say is of more value than a women's opinion or input and I've ascertained (rightly or wrongly), this would likely continue into a relationship. This is the antithesis of impressing a women and also on the surface of it makes a guy look insecure. My rule of thumb is if you have to tell people how great you are, you don't actually think you're great at all. If I guy is super successful, he knows to ask interesting questions and he understands that women want to be heard as well as talking about himself.
Exactly! This happens to me, where the guy just wont stop talking about his view of the world, attempting to show how smart he is, trying to explain to me things I already know then when I try to put my 2 cents in he says "no that's not how it is I'll explain it to you." Overall guys dont care about your brain you're just there for them as a mirror
Another issue I run into is guys dont think my time is as important as theirs. I took an hour or more to get ready for a date, putting on makeup doing hair then 30 mins to drive there only for the dude to tell me we have to wait an hour for a table because he couldn't call ahead of time and make sure there was a table. In total I took more time out of my day to get ready only for the guy to talk throughout the session.
There was someone who texted me, but I was going through a very rough time at the moment. I deleted his number. But now I'm afraid he thinks I've ghosted him.... So I'm going to have to explain what is going on with me when I see him so he doesn't freak out.
Yeah well what if you gave all those things, made him feel like he was a million bucks, treated him well and showed interest and even he did too. However he just ghosted after telling me he wants to go on vacations and mentions the future with you was it all bullshit even though there was a very strong connection?
Hi Evan, How are you? Evan I was showing respect,appreciation, and I really was his cheerleader...He is a very talented, sweet guy..no problem in our connection as far as I know...in fact he told me to take a step back..and I did after about a week he wanting to continue..did great up until about 3 weeks ago..then suddenly different..we dated briefly in high school..he contacted me..after our marriages broke up..he contacted me however after he was broke up from a 5 year relationship .. we live 4 hrs. apart but but seen each other every other weekend from July till now..like I said he is a great guy.he does answer calls, and texts but taking longer then before..I really know he is scared as am I from getting hurt...input appreciated ...Thank you
Salsa dancers are not a model I'd use for relationships. In all the years I hung out with latin dancers, it was very rare to see relationships last, most just crashed and burned. I'll never date in that community because it's incestuous and dysfunctional.
Listen men you have balls so be open and stop the bullshit ghosting is rude,disrespectful, and just so f,,,, up ,such selfish ,narcissit act grow the hell up
Ghosted after a year. I don't understand why they would continue to receive texts and phone messages. If they don't want to hear from you wouldn't they block you? I think many enjoy seeing how they can inflict pain in this cruel act.
My one ex boyfriend and lover and deadbeat father is a Narcissist. I got ghosted in April 2019 and I had No Contact with him and his wife since November of 2017. I don't know why he would ghosted me on Facebook Messenger through the conversation I was having with my current boyfriend? Why would he miss me and want me back?
You're attracted to bad boys and spicy sex. Then you play dumb that the dude is not hubby material. It's like dating pornstars and complaining they are unfaithful.
Just got ghosted for the second time in my life (I've been lucky). The first time I was the needy guy texting and emailing wanting an answer and none came. This time I know the best response is no answer, and to hold value in myself. Problem is the person who has ghosted me is someone with whom I serve on a committee and will be having to interact with in person regularly. What's the best way to handle her and her presence?
It's common because a common impulse of a person who is rejected is to go through something like the stages of grief. Meaning denial, anger, etc. Call it selfish but why give someone the opportunity to engage in conflict with you? Give them a chance to cry an plead, try to browbeat you into staying, or stick the knife in and twist it? I've been ghosted and got the hint. I would question why anyone would want that "closure" so badly.
We were together for 71/2 yr I came home he was gone he’s 48 it’s been 7 months he walked out I’m still crushed explain this he been ghosting me the whole time
When a man finally finds out that the woman is basically selfish or a financial strain on his wallet or has some kind of annoying habit he will ghost her. He says 'Is the sex/friendship worth it?'
This. 100%. The people who say "ghosting is so disrespectful" obviously don't know what it's like to be stalked or have your car keyed because nearly EVERY woman I've ever known is incapable of handling rejection.
This girl I'm dating she doesn't treat me well and is very self centred and selfish, she seems like a narcissist or has BPD or whatever it is, I have a feeling there's something wrong with her mentally, I'm a tired of her and I feel like ghosting her would that be a bad thing to do? Or should I do it because she wouldn't understand Anyways and show what karma is since she doesn't treat me well or value me.
I got ghosted big time- he blocked me and we saw each other the day before and had ANOTHER great time together; even talked about some fun things to do in the future and he even told me that he would help my son when he’s ready to get an internship at his company. We texted later that night (flirty texts) and the next day two of my texts were delivered but two other texts later that day did not. I reached out through my landline and left a vm asking if he could communicate out of respect to let me know why he wanted/needed things to end. No response. It’s now been almost 4 weeks and I still feel awful that this happened! Do I reach out again and tell him how terrible this is to do to someone? Help!
Cara Foley do not reach out to him you already called him and left him a voicemail if he wants to get in touch with you he will call you. I don’t think this man is interested let him go and go no contact. Best of luck!
Ok...help me out. Can you ghost someone you just met? I'm hearing so many definitions of ghosting. The common thread is that you have to be in some sort of relationship to be ghosted. Is this true?
No it is not true. I've been ghosted by women who willingly gave me their numbers. When I texted them, they read the message but never responded. The text message would be like this: " Hey Lura. Its me ( Brian) the guy you met and spoke to at dunkin donut this morning. May I ask what are some of your favorite hobbies?" She then reads the message because she has "read" turns on and never, ever cares to response. This has happened to me several times.
After 2 yrs he ghosted me for 3somes with his exes that's what he said to me after promising me long term everything was going fine and when u asked where it was going he pulled that stunt
I guess my personality is very strong I caught him red handed and he ran from me so I blocked him I did not want closure he was a liar and I would never trust anything he said at this point I already gave him a number if chances to tell the truth I need to work on me why am I attracting men who lie and have someone already I am working on my self worth on July it will be two years I have not hear from him or seen him and I am not ready for dating again at this point I have no stress and feel great over the age 50 and I am loving my best life working on me older men are liars I can not be bothered
Question this guy that ive dated he ghosted me but there is one time we seen each other and he smiled at me and gave me a hug but he never say anything or even sorry. He havent unfollow me on social media too. Very confusing. What is that mean pls help
This guy told me he had a lot going on and was not in a place to pursue anything and I was like, "Cool, I'm down to be friends" because I just liked him as a person and honestly hadn't developed any feelings yet. He responded a couple times when I reached out to see how he was doing (I was just worried about his person and not trying to do anything moree) and then ghosted me. That kinda hurt bc I was cool enough to date but not have a very shallow friendship with 😂🤷🏽♀️I just texted him after all these years that I saw a video on being ghosted and thought of him and just wanted to say that I hope he was in a better place 🤣
Know. I. Don't. Like. It But. If. U. Been. Together. For. A. While when. He Falls. Back. Of. His Pursuit. Of. U why. Should. U. Chase. Him. Why. Is. All About. U. To. Connect With him.
I ghost when I don't feel valued. It has nothing to do with fear and everything to do with not being bothered to say anything because I'm sick of feeling disposable. Women may not like ghosting, but its a complete reflection of male disposability.
If you don’t feel valued, express that you would rather date someone who is more invested in the relationship and break up. Upon hearing that, some women will put in more effort if they know what the issue is. Or perhaps they will communicate why they’re being distant. But without open communication, they won’t even understand the cause of the breakup and how you felt
The people who say "ghosting is so disrespectful" obviously don't know what it's like to be stalked or have your car keyed because nearly EVERY woman I've ever known is incapable of handling rejection.
That being said, I gave a dislike for that pretentious, arrogant line at 2:50. Stop shitting on men for protecting themselves (yes, I know women ghost too, but only men seem to get yelled at for it).
yes it sucks and makes men or women feel horrible i was just talking to a man for like 4 months was there for him during the hurricanes called every morning to tell him good morning to have a good day during the day he and i would text and every night say good night and sweet dreams and the craziest we were 4 hours time difference i would set my alarm to wake up at 2am to tell him good morning and never missed a morning talked to him last weekend and told him i would text him before i went to my parents for my dads birthday and for some unknown reason he shut everything off so there is no way i can communicate with him now but the omg or oh shit are you kidding me moment is he and my son play ps4 together my son is 18 this dude is 38 the next day he texts my son to see if he was going to get on ps4 and my son said my mom has been trying to text you but it isn't going thru and he says oh then says yeah i deactivated everything and thats all he said about it,,now needless to say my son is like he thinks this is all cool and its ok he fucked my mom over . oh wait and the best part that same day i mailed his xmas gift and that got delivered today but im not expecting a thank you why should i he new it was on the way when i guess he ghosted (never knew there was a word for it) so guys don't do it to girls and girls dont do it to guys its one of the worst feelings i have ever felt all he had to do was say he didn't want to talk anymore i was cool just being his friend but nope..it literally feels like there stabbing you in the back with a dull knife and leaving it in you so tomorrow they can jab once or twice more and the next day it really tears you up inside you are left with why ..what did i say..what did i do...could i of did anything different...just be respectful and tell them some explanation
Im a little confused about the last page of the book idea? If you're having fun with a guy but you're 1 of 3 girls he's seeing I'd want to know the last page. I don't want to make someone a priority who treats me as an option. Because lets be honest dating is expensive (I always pay my share) and I want to invest time with someone who is after something serious. So follow up question - at what point should you become exclusive?
You were ghosted because you were blind to the hints that he gave you that your behavior was disrespectful and unacceptable. If you think that ghosting is disrespectful to you, then remember that you were the first to be disrespectful. If you can think clearly enough to recognize that you were ghosted, then focus on how you can improve yourself. It's not *his* fault that he ghosted you; it's your opportunity to learn and improve yourself for your next relationship.
lol yeah... this ain’t it, chief. while I can admit there are a *few* situations in which ghosting is justifiable (e.g. you fear the person will become irate to the point where it could affect your safety, or they were just belligerently rude/nasty - and even in this case you can just let them know that you felt they were a little too rude/aren’t compatible with you) in most cases, ghosting isn’t okay. it’s negligent and rude. it’s emotionally harmful behavior... things could be going absolutely well between two people and then one of them just ghosts.. and it could be for a myriad of reasons, but the person who was ghosted would never be able to figure it out because they were never told explicitly what it was. like at the very least try to explain to the person that you’re no longer interested in keeping contact and then if they don’t get it then, yeah, I guess just leave them alone but don’t just drop them like a hot potato. anyway, I’m trying not to write a whole dissertation here so that’s all I’ll say 😪
The guy who ghosted me spent our last night telling me how much he fancied me all night long the my friend recognised them from somewhere and boom gone
The guy has disappeared, he doesn't want to communicate with you, don't txt him for any reason, be 'nice' to yourself and do not waste your time chasing a man down, work on your own self respect.
Move forward with your life. You are in the leading role. Hang out with great people who treat you with kindness and respect. Post some pictures of yourself on your page having a great time. Anyone who wants to play a supporting role in your life story can lift a finger to check out your page. Don't beg for crumbs that ignore you or hand pearls to swine. You are as valuable any any other human being that was ever born. The source if all life gave you the same value and connection with abundance and properity directly from your creator as anyone else. But you will only experience that truth of yourself if you choose to live in that knowing. Once you say yes to all that is here for you and recieve all your good with open arms you will have no time or energy for anyone who cannot see you as valuable worthy and good enough for their admiring, loving and uplifting attention.
@@Karebear8765 stop making your identity"nice" in your own mind. That is just a story. Embrace your shadow of fearless creator of self loving fun or whatever other assrtive quality or behavior you habe mentally relegated to the dark shadow you drag behind you. You thinking you are nice is what nakes yiu boring to everybody else. Grow up, wake up and embrace your dark side. It was ways just a story you got programmed into. There is enegy and power in waking up to what you have been denying as your identity story. Free your mind.
*Why Ghost?* I ghost all the time, since high school, because I just want to be with different women, and not carry the responsibility of a relationship. I suppose that makes me a jerk or w.e. but to be clear the reason is not because I want to hurt anyone per se. Other men ghost because they want to protect themselves. *Why is Ghosting more prevalent now?* The short answer is the #metoo movement. Although some women ghost men. It usually happens to women who hook-up with the 20% top tier alpha males. Ghosting can be emotionally devastating to women because women are by default emotionally vulnerable especially after sex. Recently men have had a rude awakening with the #metoo movement where lives are being destroyed based on false or frivolous accusations with no due process. So the less a woman knows about a man's personal life the better off he is ultimately. In this day men cannot afford to have conflict with women because it is very easy to turn the law against him no matter how unbelievable the story. And what does relationships have a lot of? Conflict! Men can’t disagree with women anymore otherwise risk some ridiculous backlash. Unfortunately the rules of the game have changed ladies and you’ll see ghosting becoming more and more prevalent.
Ghosting is just cowardly and horrible...very damaging to treat someone like this.
You're just being dismissive and not acknowledging that ghosting is an emotional reaction. Men have emotions too, and it's quite telling on how well you value their emotions. Relationships have become a one way street for women and their emotions, and there's no room for men on that street.
@@jefferydaniels5672 No, there is NO reason to ghost! Ghosting is RUDE!
@@jefferydaniels5672 Wrong, it is ALL ABOUT MEN AND NOT WOMEN. ABOUT TIME FOR WOMEN.
@@jefferydaniels5672 true, as emotions are far from rational
I agree for the most part, but if a person is stalking you and only feeding off of your responses, then it’s good to ghost; I read/heard-and experienced-that cutting off contact with emotionally unstable people shows them that you won’t give them attention, and they eventually give up and find other targets (It’s sad, but at least the attention’s off of you!).
I would rather a guy be upfront and direct. I need that closure
@Maharaj of MGTOW Sexist. You have issues with women to work on!!
YES, WE ALL DO!!
Now reverse the roles. Women are rarely upfront and direct with anything emotional. You may "need" closure, but what makes you think you deserve it?
You don’t GET closure from the other person. Don’t give them that power. Define the experience - discomforting as it has been - for yourself. And move on.
Basic decency aside, ghosting shuts down the possibility of a comeback at a later point. It was hilarious to see how some of my past dates who quietly disappeared into the sunset made a sheepish attempt to get together again after a few months.
Yeah they think that by not breaking up clearly, the doors remain open for later. Stupid AF. They don't get that such attitude is a big no-no for now and later
Sometimes, I think, ghosting doesn't conclude an end of the relationship. So if a person ghosts instead of breaking up then their mind set is they might return sometime to pick up the relationship.
I just had a long term relationship end this way because I found out that I have been seriously lied to and I called this ex to tell him what I found out and now he won't communicate with me. He is not only a ghost but a coward.
I have lost all respect for this loser.
Exactly the same but i dont know what the lie is
It's so disrespectful...rude and low class...shows they lack basic common decency and integrity....selfish in every way...who in the he'll really want that..move on...i truly believe ppl that do this is truly mentally unhinged
I've only ghosted people who I've known are insane and incapable of handling rejection. Don't oversimplify it.
@@PVAPlayy how did you know they were insane and incapable? at least try with people send them a text, then if they start completely insulting you for no reason then you don't have to reply or you can tell them that you won't engage in a convo unless they are respectful. Solved. Maybe you think women are incapable of handling rejection because you yourself can relate to not being able to handle it?
If a guy nicely told me he didn't se it working out, unless he had lead me on immensely and told me he loved me or some shit, or even then. I would just say okay, thanks for communicating that (insert opinion on it) wish him the best for the future and go our separate ways. The truth is you owe people a healthy end, and if you can't give it, then maybe you don't deserve it either. I would and have never ghosted a guy I was dating.
@@PVAPlayy you ghosted because you can't handle the pain of rejection and negative emotional from women
while lieing is a universal trait- ghosting is not..
If your relationship has included face to face contact then ghosting shows a lack of integrity and disrespect and a lack of maturity that is behind both the hurt and non universality of this phenomenal and what we have had to make up a term, a new vocabulary to explain this
I was watching a show about the serial killers Leonard Lake and Charles Ng. Paul Cosner failed to show up for a date with his girlfriend. Since this was the '80s, his girlfriend panicked, called his sister, and they called the police after looking and calling around for him. These days, the girlfriend would have thought her boyfriend was just ghosting her, and if she called his sister, she'd be a stalker. And poor Paul Cosner would have been missing and murdered without the police even being notified. So think about that next time you decide to ghost someone--you're just hurting yourself and others. And ghosting is horrible; my ex did this to me after introducing me to his family at Christmas, talking about kids and family, and telling me he loved me. I was devastated, and I trust no one anymore. I know a man can just disappear with no explanation no matter how much I love him. You can at least call and say, "I'm sorry, but I just don't think things are going to work out for us. I wish you well."
I'm sorry you went though that. It is just horrible. What a coward.
tosca donna: I like the name you use...mio babbino caro...are you a singer, perchance?
tosca donna sorry you went through that I’m sure it was a blessing in the long run you wouldn’t want to be married to someone with bad character and who is a coward
@Maharaj of MGTOW Sexist. Nagging is when you said you would do something, you must have lied!! We still love your sorry ass even though you stopped loving us before we nagged!!
Sorry, he was terrible. Preach!!
In years past there were those stories about the husband and father who went out for a pack of cigs and never came back.
yup
This happened to me in the middle of a conversation. He was super keen. I was just as keen. He disappeared midst sending heart emojis and making plans together. Then he's just gone, forever. I thought we had great chemistry and it was lovely while being on dates. 😑😑 I get if there was never an interest, but if he's insisting on dating you..and then..nothing? Seemingly changed his mind in 30 seconds. Over WhatsApp. I don't understand.
The girlfriend stepped in
this hit a nerve.. Ive ghosted so much in the past and just recently been ghosted. I never knew how fucked up ghosting someone is you have dated, that i just texted a few past exs and apoligized.
Mr-Nice-Guy j i
Mr-Nice-Guy j I
amazingly..i want to give you a big high five..
every time one person stands up to rectify a wrong, even if we personally didn't benefit by your action..
All of us,benefit..
Your comment made me feel better
Your exes don't really wanna hear from you. Just stay gone.
Ghosting seems a little passive aggressive.
@Kendra Bennett you believe relationships are a power exchange and they're not.
Bad intention for ghosters:
1. Ghosters were ghosted before so they believe it is normal to ghost, or try to revenge by ghosting.
2. Ghosters are worried about breakup drama that damages their reputation (work, life etc).
3. Ghosters have no respect to you and don’t think/care you deserve an official goodbye.
4. Ghosters want to leave it open so easier to come back.
Bad intentions or with justifiable reason:
1. Ghosters don’t want to breakup officially to avoid difficult feelings, possibly for both.
2. Ghosters had physical or mental accidents and died or disabled or etc.
1 is NOT JUSTIFIABLE. Disabled is NOT JUSTIFIABLE EITHER.
We should all see ghosting as immaturity. He does it. Shut the door to any relationship between you and that person, throw away the key, but be nice at arms length. Don't be friends with them because there view of you is unhealthy. They have little respect for you. Be nice to them at arms length if you ever meet them.
That's it. MOVE ON AND DO NOT LOOK BACK.
Story of my life. I rarely go on dates. The last one was 4 years ago roughly. Needless to say I didn’t get a second date and I’ve never gotten a second date. I’m polite and don’t say anything weird or creepy to my dates. I’m literally the 30 year old virgin. All the ghosting and rejection has really fucked up my mental health. I’m clinically depressed. The ghosting is a big reason I have self image issues. Since I get ghosted and no explanation I just assume it’s because I’m hideous. Like I legit avoid mirrors and never take photos. I completely loathe myself and am suicidal.
The fact that there is such a thing as ghosting, and that it has happened to me (although all of the guys who have done that ended up coming back to me weeks later, even apologizing) helps get me worried that some other guys are doing it when they really aren't. Sometimes I even think that if a guy is online on FB and hasn't returned my last message, even if it's still on 'delivered' and not 'read,' that he's purposely ignoring me, when that usually ends up not being the case but I often end up messaging him again just to test if he is or not. BTW I just discovered your channel today and you seem what my millennial generation, especially us females, needs!
I ghosted this single mother who was very manipulative. She lies compulsively, and her last lie was the last time I communicated with her. She wants to bs her way back, uses her children's phones and went to my Sister and Mom to convince them. No coward here, I just don't have the time for a cheater and a liar.
Exactly, sometimes ghosting is appropriate. Everyone doesn't deserve or even needs an explanation. There are people that just wont get it through their heads that its over and wont take no for answer.
Or a STALKER...
Then tell her..yes a closure is as much of a necessity as an introduction was..
This isn't a request for an evaluation or agreement but it is feedback..an explanation and yes, as a comment regarding your character..it is a requirement
+Billy Ganes...She deserved a closure or a conversation no matter what. For you its comfortable but if its gonna be done to you u will feel what the hell. Someone else will get it done to your bad ass.
@@littlemiss8867 NO, GHOSTING IS NEVER OKAY!!
I was ghosted and none of the mistakes apply so I still don't know why
Same and for many times too
Same, i think he thought id found out a lie about his past but i dont know the lie
Youre fat.
ive been ghosted by guys i didnt have actual official relationships with and that was already horrible, but ive had one of the most shocking years of my life as someone with PTSD already, when my longterm bf (together for over 2 years) suddenly switched onme a few months ago, ghosted me on my birthday, then after i gave him some space and eventually contacted again, he like semi-dumped me but not really, and was all unsure, then ghosted again, then would reply to me like once a week til he totally disappeared. after he was always saying how he would never leave me, would always be there for me, and would give his life for me. he had still said those thigns and how much he loved me up til a few days before he got weird on me. i usually wouldnt fall for dudes making big statements like that if we werent together for long, or we were just "talking," but to be with someone for years who was so serious about me to do this is astonishing.
Some people are ghosting their own parents. Specialy when they are old and ill. Cruel.
And ghosting their own siblings.
😭
They're there a min then gone like a fly. So I call those pple flies.
I agreed with about 95% of this video... what got me was when he went into "trusting". I'm sorry, but I don't trust just anyone, even some people that are close to me. There is no way in hell that im going to trust a guy as soon as we meet and start "dating" it think it's very naive if you do. I will not openly invite someone into my "walls" even if they are better than the rest (so far all of the guys I've met and dated have been horrible so why would I openly trust the next when there is a 95% chance he's just as horrible?). I won't treat a guy like shit...I'll be decent but at least show me that I have a reason to trust you, else it just will not happen. When you keep getting hurt.... you slowly give up and lose all hope that there are decent guys out there.
Same with me, but I’m sorta different. For me, it only needs to happen once, then I don’t trust the entire world! I’ve only had one encounter where I just lost hope completely. And I know people will be like, “But that was only once! Just try again my dude! Not all people are like that!”. Although it may be true, I am smart enough to not make the same mistake twice. I’ve been led on in the relationship only to find out she never liked me at all and was just using me for attention. It truly broke my heart, and even now I have a really hard time when a girl is super nice to me and constantly sweet talks me saying all the right things. For me, I find most women unattractive because I am more emotional rather than visual. The girl who I liked who said all those things that peaked my interest and got me hooked wasn’t even that beautiful, she wasn’t ugly but she was quirky and kinda cute (she was a 5/10 or 6/10). Usually, the reason why people fall for charmers is because the victim has low self esteem. Maybe the charmer picks up on this and gives them all the things they wanna hear. It’s like a snake oil salesman trying to sell you bs by having his foot on the door and saying “but wait there’s more!”. If you ever run into these charmers or love bombers, just be polite, take it with stride, and realize that they are just trying to get your attention by being super friendly and being grossly attached to you. This will test your emotional strength, character, and maturity. When I was young and immature, I was emotionally naive and vulnerable. But when this happened, I developed the strength to realize that I am worth more than just flattery and false attraction. I personally believe that it is better to be alone, trust yourself, and be comfortable by yourself, than be with someone who constantly leads you on. I am forever grateful for this experience as it made me more mature. I hope you can learn something from my experience or gain a little insight since it might prove useful to you in any future endeavors. Best of luck to you mate!
Oh and one more thing:
In the words of existentialist philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, “That which does not kill you, can only make you stronger”.
Building trust takes time ...
Trust your gut, not the guy. Not your fears either, your gut.
I just had a guy do something that he knew would piss me off in order to end the relationship. isn't that messed up!!! just fucking speak to me. if you don't want to see me anymore then say it, don't ignore me and make me upset by being a jerk
laughnowcrylater
old game
This is such brilliant advise. You don't flip to the end of the book. Dont let your old insecurities bleed into this one. I know what happened this was it. I lead with fear when I started to like him more. Thank you so much.
Was with someone.....talked over 50 hrs. 5 hours at a time then we met still wonderful chemistry. Blah blah. We have a date on sat then nothing...especially when he said the night before he has a few things in mind for our suprise date.
It's just so open then nothing.....wow just floored.
It is quite possible that he told a few lies and suddenly realized he wouldn't be able to continue lying to you if you got to know him better. I got ghosted by someone who told me that he loved me and I told him the same thing. He also said that no one else on the planet loved him. Then, poof!
An excellent talk that made me realize how many mistakes i've been making all my life!! Thank you!
Thank you So much! I love your videos, your critical thinking mind is fascinating! Gracias! 🤗
I read the comments and want to let you know that I appreciatte your willingness to speak about human relationships and dating with a focus on equal non-judgemental behavior. What you say makes alot of sense. For years I tried to figure out how to tell if someone I meet is going to be a good person who treats me with respect from the start and had my share of heartbreak over the years. I am a human analyzer/ scientist attempting to figure it all out. In the end you just never know until you have spent enough time to observe someone's behavior and life paradigms. Just like you cannot tell who is racist, you cannot tell if someone is a narcissist, a caveman or a manipulative self centered user in two dates. Sometimes you can but some hide it when they want something from you. So your advice is smart. Smart and successful women and men trust themselves, protect themselves, value themselves and do their due diligence in order to not be played. You can't always win because life is unpredictable. Pain is inevitable when you truly live and take risks but you can choose to be smart about it. I appreciatte your advice on teaching people to treat each other and themselves with dignity and respect. I know there are great men and women out there and you give good advice on how to find them and succeed. Thanks again!
Well said Tia.
I wish you peace and happiness.
Tia Turnbull page #2 Keep It 100 Turnbull Powerfully and passionately expressed!!! Be safe out there.
A few months ago I ghosted a guy after the first date because I didn't wanna tell him he stank. It just felt like the best way for him. I can't remember any other time doing it.
One date does not make a relationship. Ghosting a person in that situation is reasonable. If you'd been dating the guy for 10 years then in that case you would owe him an explanation; he would deserve to hear the truth from you. Same if the reverse was true.
YOu didnt have to say he stank. You could of just said that you had a good time but you feel your not a match.
Luis X I didn't tell him he stank omg I wouldn't even think of doing that.
luulips No i meant if you werent interested because he was stinky. You could of just texted him you wasnt in him because you didnt make a good match or something like that.
James Solbakken I dont agree. I know in todays world its mostly acceptable to ghost if its just one date. Im not buying it. It didnt use to be like this pre internet dating. Now if the person doesnt call you back after the date then you can assume mutual no interest. At that point im in agreement. If the person is still contacting you after the date ( even if its just 1 date) then in my book its NOT OK to just ghost.
OH! So men never ghost? I've just been "ghosted" by a man that wants to go touring on his motorbike for the summer, what does he think I'm gonna do for 3 months, sit twiddling my thumbs? Oh, and he's only 70, and lied about being divorced, he's only separated. I text him, and told HIM where to go, NOT NICE!!!!!!
Are all relationships, even romantic ones, transactional?
Tabula Rasa I believe the only unconditional love comes from Jesus Christ to us and parents with children. Every other relationship especially romantic relationships are transactional!
Only for women. Men can actually love, women just want stuff.
@@rev.jimjonesandthekool-aid4488 Yea ok, I see you've know 'many' women *eye roll*
GF ghosted me after 9 years. SMH.
Its to hide guilt
@@nin3755 yes probably she didn't have the guts to say goodbye
Sometimes the issue is that you write a nice note of “thanks but I’m not feeling a connection but good luck” and some people have responded angrily to that message. I still prefer the high road, but I try to use my judgment about who I think could hear that respectfully and who may be better off just letting it go...after just one date, I don’t think letting it go is disrespectful. After a few dates, when more is invested, generally makes sense, though.
I agree. Ghosting after one or two dates is fine, but ghosting a relationship is evil in my opinion unless the relationship was abusive or toxic.
Ever heard of the block button? Why not say it's not working out then block them?
Men need to learn that putting on a show (boring self talk) for a whole date, is counter productive and gets them nowhere. I've been out with men who take encouragement, validation and praise as an opportunity to talk even more about themselves, after not letting me get a word in edge ways all night. I've always refused to continue to see these men after a couple of dates, no matter whether I've liked them or they've liked me.
I've sensed they've been really keen, but I haven't been able to get past this behavior, because it looks as if they are possibly selfish, egotistical, definitely boring and maybe at worst even sexist - maybe they think what a man has to say is of more value than a women's opinion or input and I've ascertained (rightly or wrongly), this would likely continue into a relationship.
This is the antithesis of impressing a women and also on the surface of it makes a guy look insecure. My rule of thumb is if you have to tell people how great you are, you don't actually think you're great at all. If I guy is super successful, he knows to ask interesting questions and he understands that women want to be heard as well as talking about himself.
Exactly! This happens to me, where the guy just wont stop talking about his view of the world, attempting to show how smart he is, trying to explain to me things I already know then when I try to put my 2 cents in he says "no that's not how it is I'll explain it to you." Overall guys dont care about your brain you're just there for them as a mirror
Another issue I run into is guys dont think my time is as important as theirs. I took an hour or more to get ready for a date, putting on makeup doing hair then 30 mins to drive there only for the dude to tell me we have to wait an hour for a table because he couldn't call ahead of time and make sure there was a table. In total I took more time out of my day to get ready only for the guy to talk throughout the session.
There was someone who texted me, but I was going through a very rough time at the moment. I deleted his number. But now I'm afraid he thinks I've ghosted him.... So I'm going to have to explain what is going on with me when I see him so he doesn't freak out.
You’ll be surprised that they blocked you !
Gold @21:00...to let him know his date efforts are working. TY!!
Yeah well what if you gave all those things, made him feel like he was a million bucks, treated him well and showed interest and even he did too. However he just ghosted after telling me he wants to go on vacations and mentions the future with you was it all bullshit even though there was a very strong connection?
I'm going to read the book "Why Men Love Bitches" based on what you've mentioned, I think we're doing it all wrong lol
it means he is immature..a coward..and not worthy of being in a serious relationship..
Hi Evan, How are you?
Evan I was showing respect,appreciation, and I really was his cheerleader...He is a very talented, sweet guy..no problem in our connection as far as I know...in fact he told me to take a step back..and I did after about a week he wanting to continue..did great up until about 3 weeks ago..then suddenly different..we dated briefly in high school..he contacted me..after our marriages broke up..he contacted me however after he was broke up from a 5 year relationship .. we live 4 hrs. apart but but seen each other every other weekend from July till now..like I said he is a great guy.he does answer calls, and texts but taking longer then before..I really know he is scared as am I from getting hurt...input appreciated ...Thank you
Angelina Smith
Been there married that...
A year later he said, he married me by mistake.
Just move one...
I’m a salsa dancer… loved your comment about letting a man lead… so important 👩🏻🍳💕
Salsa dancers are not a model I'd use for relationships. In all the years I hung out with latin dancers, it was very rare to see relationships last, most just crashed and burned. I'll never date in that community because it's incestuous and dysfunctional.
ouch!!!! someone ghosted on me😢
Hugs
Great video! Thanks to your videos I suffer less when those things happen. Also I love Allana Pratt!! I'm looking forward to see that :)
Listen men you have balls so be open and stop the bullshit ghosting is rude,disrespectful, and just so f,,,, up ,such selfish ,narcissit act grow the hell up
Ghosted after a year. I don't understand why they would continue to receive texts and phone messages. If they don't want to hear from you wouldn't they block you? I think many enjoy seeing how they can inflict pain in this cruel act.
Yes. Very narcissistic.
My one ex boyfriend and lover and deadbeat father is a Narcissist. I got ghosted in April 2019 and I had No Contact with him and his wife since November of 2017. I don't know why he would ghosted me on Facebook Messenger through the conversation I was having with my current boyfriend? Why would he miss me and want me back?
You're attracted to bad boys and spicy sex.
Then you play dumb that the dude is not hubby material.
It's like dating pornstars and complaining they are unfaithful.
@@rev.jimjonesandthekool-aid4488 Do you know me personally?
GHOSTING is very selfish ,Be upfront and communicate properly ,Games are for children,
Oh my God so much truth.
Just got ghosted for the second time in my life (I've been lucky). The first time I was the needy guy texting and emailing wanting an answer and none came. This time I know the best response is no answer, and to hold value in myself. Problem is the person who has ghosted me is someone with whom I serve on a committee and will be having to interact with in person regularly. What's the best way to handle her and her presence?
Blank her
Invest no emotion. You owe her nothing.
Just act normal around her and move on.
Great advice!
It's common because a common impulse of a person who is rejected is to go through something like the stages of grief. Meaning denial, anger, etc. Call it selfish but why give someone the opportunity to engage in conflict with you? Give them a chance to cry an plead, try to browbeat you into staying, or stick the knife in and twist it? I've been ghosted and got the hint. I would question why anyone would want that "closure" so badly.
Respect and common courtesy.
Maybe you would get in conflict with them but not everyone!
Get a load of this: We were close friends for 40 years and he has just disappeared during the last 12 months. Can somebody explain this to me?
Maybe he's sick or died?
@@Libra8410 Well, maybe he is sick. You”re right! I haven”t thought of that....
We were together for 71/2 yr I came home he was gone he’s 48 it’s been 7 months he walked out I’m still crushed explain this he been ghosting me the whole time
You gained weight.
@@rev.jimjonesandthekool-aid4488 really well u don’t have a clue what ur talking about men like u and my ex reminds me when are garbage
wow! so much knowledge thank u
When a man finally finds out that the woman is basically selfish or a financial strain on his wallet or has some kind of annoying habit he will ghost her. He says 'Is the sex/friendship worth it?'
Have enough balls to say she’s a selfish and a financial strain to her face
Maybe he can tell her once and observ...
bravo Evan!!
merthur88, you are absolutely gorgeous 🌹🌹🌷
"Urban dictionary" fair enough you did your research
"Not cool."
Reminds me of Negan saying that.
John Obmar hahahaha 😂😅
I ghost because there are lots of women that will get crazy and sometimes even violent when you break up with them.
just call me casper.
This. 100%. The people who say "ghosting is so disrespectful" obviously don't know what it's like to be stalked or have your car keyed because nearly EVERY woman I've ever known is incapable of handling rejection.
Yes there are some real psycho girls out there
unless that person has given you any indication that they’re a violent/abusive person, I feel like that’s a cop out.
Unless she showed signs of violent behavior before the breakup, I call bullshit.
I've been ghosted by everyone I've ever dealt with 😔💔
They don't trust you.
i've think i am being ghosted....but i'm 12 so idk
Any age can be ghosted. Sometimes...just let them go and find a new person who is better to be friends with. Best wishes.
12 years old? You too young for that, focus on school and goals, you'll have plenty adult years to be "ghosted" on
A Matt LOL
Babe pls you’re still young. This should be the least of you worry’s
A Matt 😂
I think after a first date even, you should say something :)
This video is predominantly for self-entitled women who also ghost men NOT those who don’t do that.
This girl I'm dating she doesn't treat me well and is very self centred and selfish, she seems like a narcissist or has BPD or whatever it is, I have a feeling there's something wrong with her mentally, I'm a tired of her and I feel like ghosting her would that be a bad thing to do? Or should I do it because she wouldn't understand Anyways and show what karma is since she doesn't treat me well or value me.
I got ghosted big time- he blocked me and we saw each other the day before and had ANOTHER great time together; even talked about some fun things to do in the future and he even told me that he would help my son when he’s ready to get an internship at his company. We texted later that night (flirty texts) and the next day two of my texts were delivered but two other texts later that day did not. I reached out through my landline and left a vm asking if he could communicate out of respect to let me know why he wanted/needed things to end. No response.
It’s now been almost 4 weeks and I still feel awful that this happened! Do I reach out again and tell him how terrible this is to do to someone?
Help!
Cara Foley do not reach out to him you already called him and left him a voicemail if he wants to get in touch with you he will call you. I don’t think this man is interested let him go and go no contact. Best of luck!
Do NOT reach out to him. Make up your mind to move on.
He felt you were engulfing him.
Respect is earned, not given. Sadly, most people never earn my respect. Male or female. I do not explain my actions to those I do not respect.
that’s very detrimental thinking but go off
I see it this way also.
Ok...help me out. Can you ghost someone you just met? I'm hearing so many definitions of ghosting. The common thread is that you have to be in some sort of relationship to be ghosted. Is this true?
No it is not true. I've been ghosted by women who willingly gave me their numbers. When I texted them, they read the message but never responded. The text message would be like this:
" Hey Lura. Its me ( Brian) the guy you met and spoke to at dunkin donut this morning. May I ask what are some of your favorite hobbies?"
She then reads the message because she has "read" turns on and never, ever cares to response. This has happened to me several times.
After 2 yrs he ghosted me for 3somes with his exes that's what he said to me after promising me long term everything was going fine and when u asked where it was going he pulled that stunt
I guess my personality is very strong I caught him red handed and he ran from me so I blocked him I did not want closure he was a liar and I would never trust anything he said at this point I already gave him a number if chances to tell the truth I need to work on me why am I attracting men who lie and have someone already I am working on my self worth on July it will be two years I have not hear from him or seen him and I am not ready for dating again at this point I have no stress and feel great over the age 50 and I am loving my best life working on me older men are liars I can not be bothered
Question this guy that ive dated he ghosted me but there is one time we seen each other and he smiled at me and gave me a hug but he never say anything or even sorry. He havent unfollow me on social media too. Very confusing. What is that mean pls help
Move on dear.
Massive thanks Evan❤❤
Ghosting is in mgtow too.
what are you talking about?
@@marte1376 Not wanting to be seen.
I don’t see why the woman has to be a nice person 🚪
candy5742 Never be nice. NEVER be nice. Be smart. Be compassionate. Be aware.
This guy told me he had a lot going on and was not in a place to pursue anything and I was like, "Cool, I'm down to be friends" because I just liked him as a person and honestly hadn't developed any feelings yet. He responded a couple times when I reached out to see how he was doing (I was just worried about his person and not trying to do anything moree) and then ghosted me. That kinda hurt bc I was cool enough to date but not have a very shallow friendship with 😂🤷🏽♀️I just texted him after all these years that I saw a video on being ghosted and thought of him and just wanted to say that I hope he was in a better place 🤣
In the 80's era of great music was when the the term I'm 👻 came out.
I'm outta there like Casper the friendly ghost.
Know. I. Don't. Like. It
But. If. U. Been. Together. For. A. While when. He
Falls. Back. Of. His
Pursuit. Of. U why. Should. U. Chase. Him. Why. Is. All
About. U. To. Connect
With him.
Lorrie Kelly What is up with all the periods. Crazy!!
I ghost when I don't feel valued. It has nothing to do with fear and everything to do with not being bothered to say anything because I'm sick of feeling disposable. Women may not like ghosting, but its a complete reflection of male disposability.
If you don’t feel valued, express that you would rather date someone who is more invested in the relationship and break up. Upon hearing that, some women will put in more effort if they know what the issue is. Or perhaps they will communicate why they’re being distant. But without open communication, they won’t even understand the cause of the breakup and how you felt
@@brittany1484 seek female validation, got it.
The people who say "ghosting is so disrespectful" obviously don't know what it's like to be stalked or have your car keyed because nearly EVERY woman I've ever known is incapable of handling rejection.
That being said, I gave a dislike for that pretentious, arrogant line at 2:50. Stop shitting on men for protecting themselves (yes, I know women ghost too, but only men seem to get yelled at for it).
Ghosting will increase the chances for you to get stalked!
I thought you were Rowan Atkinson!
yes it sucks and makes men or women feel horrible i was just talking to a man for like 4 months was there for him during the hurricanes called every morning to tell him good morning to have a good day during the day he and i would text and every night say good night and sweet dreams and the craziest we were 4 hours time difference i would set my alarm to wake up at 2am to tell him good morning and never missed a morning talked to him last weekend and told him i would text him before i went to my parents for my dads birthday and for some unknown reason he shut everything off so there is no way i can communicate with him now but the omg or oh shit are you kidding me moment is he and my son play ps4 together my son is 18 this dude is 38 the next day he texts my son to see if he was going to get on ps4 and my son said my mom has been trying to text you but it isn't going thru and he says oh then says yeah i deactivated everything and thats all he said about it,,now needless to say my son is like he thinks this is all cool and its ok he fucked my mom over . oh wait and the best part that same day i mailed his xmas gift and that got delivered today but im not expecting a thank you why should i he new it was on the way when i guess he ghosted (never knew there was a word for it) so guys don't do it to girls and girls dont do it to guys its one of the worst feelings i have ever felt all he had to do was say he didn't want to talk anymore i was cool just being his friend but nope..it literally feels like there stabbing you in the back with a dull knife and leaving it in you so tomorrow they can jab once or twice more and the next day it really tears you up inside you are left with why ..what did i say..what did i do...could i of did anything different...just be respectful and tell them some explanation
ashrpblond sorry you went through that you will find someone better what a coward!
What a prick! You gotta tell your son to not engage with him too!
ghosting is the perfct way to get rid of someone , why still yap when their is nothing left to say ?
You'll get ghosted too 😉
❤️
Mangina monologues.
Im a little confused about the last page of the book idea? If you're having fun with a guy but you're 1 of 3 girls he's seeing I'd want to know the last page. I don't want to make someone a priority who treats me as an option. Because lets be honest dating is expensive (I always pay my share) and I want to invest time with someone who is after something serious. So follow up question - at what point should you become exclusive?
you remind me of Dr. Zoom
Most of these vids constitute woman bashing...and no, I'm not a feminist. Thumbs down.
I agree with you. Never take dating advice from a man only from women.
You were ghosted because you were blind to the hints that he gave you that your behavior was disrespectful and unacceptable.
If you think that ghosting is disrespectful to you, then remember that you were the first to be disrespectful.
If you can think clearly enough to recognize that you were ghosted, then focus on how you can improve yourself.
It's not *his* fault that he ghosted you; it's your opportunity to learn and improve yourself for your next relationship.
Wrong on every level.
lol yeah... this ain’t it, chief. while I can admit there are a *few* situations in which ghosting is justifiable (e.g. you fear the person will become irate to the point where it could affect your safety, or they were just belligerently rude/nasty - and even in this case you can just let them know that you felt they were a little too rude/aren’t compatible with you) in most cases, ghosting isn’t okay. it’s negligent and rude. it’s emotionally harmful behavior... things could be going absolutely well between two people and then one of them just ghosts.. and it could be for a myriad of reasons, but the person who was ghosted would never be able to figure it out because they were never told explicitly what it was. like at the very least try to explain to the person that you’re no longer interested in keeping contact and then if they don’t get it then, yeah, I guess just leave them alone but don’t just drop them like a hot potato. anyway, I’m trying not to write a whole dissertation here so that’s all I’ll say 😪
Super facts
The guy who ghosted me said he wanted me to move in and have kids one day before. A lot of people who ghost are narcissists
The guy who ghosted me spent our last night telling me how much he fancied me all night long the my friend recognised them from somewhere and boom gone
Don’t people just lose touch any more?
I've been ghosted for 6 weeks. His birthday is coming up, is it okay to text birthday wishes?
No!!!
But I'm a nice person. :) I would feel rude if I didn't.
The guy has disappeared, he doesn't want to communicate with you, don't txt him for any reason, be 'nice' to yourself and do not waste your time chasing a man down, work on your own self respect.
Move forward with your life. You are in the leading role. Hang out with great people who treat you with kindness and respect. Post some pictures of yourself on your page having a great time. Anyone who wants to play a supporting role in your life story can lift a finger to check out your page. Don't beg for crumbs that ignore you or hand pearls to swine. You are as valuable any any other human being that was ever born. The source if all life gave you the same value and connection with abundance and properity directly from your creator as anyone else. But you will only experience that truth of yourself if you choose to live in that knowing. Once you say yes to all that is here for you and recieve all your good with open arms you will have no time or energy for anyone who cannot see you as valuable worthy and good enough for their admiring, loving and uplifting attention.
@@Karebear8765 stop making your identity"nice" in your own mind. That is just a story. Embrace your shadow of fearless creator of self loving fun or whatever other assrtive quality or behavior you habe mentally relegated to the dark shadow you drag behind you. You thinking you are nice is what nakes yiu boring to everybody else. Grow up, wake up and embrace your dark side. It was ways just a story you got programmed into. There is enegy and power in waking up to what you have been denying as your identity story. Free your mind.
*Why Ghost?*
I ghost all the time, since high school, because I just want to be with different women, and not carry the responsibility of a relationship. I suppose that makes me a jerk or w.e. but to be clear the reason is not because I want to hurt anyone per se. Other men ghost because they want to protect themselves.
*Why is Ghosting more prevalent now?*
The short answer is the #metoo movement. Although some women ghost men. It usually happens to women who hook-up with the 20% top tier alpha males. Ghosting can be emotionally devastating to women because women are by default emotionally vulnerable especially after sex. Recently men have had a rude awakening with the #metoo movement where lives are being destroyed based on false or frivolous accusations with no due process.
So the less a woman knows about a man's personal life the better off he is ultimately.
In this day men cannot afford to have conflict with women because it is very easy to turn the law against him no matter how unbelievable the story. And what does relationships have a lot of? Conflict! Men can’t disagree with women anymore otherwise risk some ridiculous backlash. Unfortunately the rules of the game have changed ladies and you’ll see ghosting becoming more and more prevalent.
A grown up comment.
@@ffccfjsj if you have had more than 5 or 6 partners youre done out anyway. Cant bond.
This was before the red pill ..... this is the definition of a beta male
What a boring video. Screams inexperienced
You should be giving dating advice to homosexuals, not straight people.