Why So Many Are Struggling in Love
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 เม.ย. 2024
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Healthy relationships involve reciprocity, communication, a ton of effort, and the willingness to hang on when times get bad. It's too much to expect.
I'm just gonna add a lil something here. Some of us didn't stop dating because we "got hurt" too many times. Some of us realized that we no longer wanted to spend our resources on a thing that seemed a futile waste of time. I was one of those people. I just did NOT get the appeal of meeting a bunch of men who seemed to want to take up all my time or subtly make me feel beholden to them. I'm in my late 50s, and it's possible my experience is generational, I don't know. BUT - I discovered Mr. Hussey's TH-cam videos & listened to them & must have absorbed the right stuff because I finally was able to recognize a good guy when he fell in my lap. We've been in a healthy committed relationship since 2018. Thank you, Matthew. Congrats on your relationship!
You married well, Matthew.
I blame it on social media and dating apps.
Ive been criticized because i make it clear to people that i want love. Thank you for saying its ok.
"It's the fear of rejection. It's this feeling of I'm not even going to be open about the fact that I want love, I'm not even going to admit that I'm looking for a relationship, that I'm looking for love because my value will go down. I will be perceived as desperate and I will be rejected by the people I want."
Also why is desperation such a shame-able thing in our society? We don't look at physically starving people and go PSH, they're so hungry. We give them pity and aid. It should be the same for emotional hunger. I know neediness and 'consuming' someone else pushes that person away... but healthy hunger for companionship, touch, love etc is real and we should feel sad for those who live with that lack, not deride them.
Shame is real. My mother said, 'How did I fail as a mother that you're 30 and unmarried?' :(
I think my problem has always been my low self esteem, being too kind, not knowing how to put boundaries and let others respect me. I take full responsibility for it, i rather stay on my own, it is better that way then to be hurt again.
People aren’t struggling that much. Just because it’s a popular internet topic doesn’t mean the entire population is struggling. Great entertainment content though 👍
Agree about empathy! Trying not to judge is hard. Everyone needs to work on in society. Not many people care anymore.
Does anyone here see it this way too?
The free chicken analysis was golden! Thank you Matthew and Audrey, I am a 64 years old psychologist and thoroughly enjoy you two young people being so truthful and transparent. I've recommended, and sent a link to my 36 year old daughter to watch your show. Many blessings toward the very wise and important work you are doing together (you two are adorable).
I really like the honey tap analogy. It's also important we are aware about what our "honey" is. Time and attention is a valuable resource (honey). Being able to give and receive feedback and input is as well. Transparency, honesty, being awake/aware, knowing oneself, knowing what we want and don't want... etc. all are super valuable. If someone doesn't appreciate those traits and abilities, move along because there will be someone who has the same to offer and also wants it in return (pep talking myself).
Great conversation :)
Loved the deeper psychology conversations more than the dating tips i consider it so much more helpful because if we figure that out than the dating stuff its just childs play, also loved the brainstorming one of best podcasts so far
I just got the book! It was so exciting to rip the package open and see it in real life, having seen it on the videos for a while. I really appreciate your work and have done since discovering you and your team a year and a bit ago when I was going through a tough time. Lots of thanks from Edinburgh
Not love: looking for others to solve your issues.
Matthew and Audrey, this ought to be played subliminally in my mind while I sleep, and audibly while I am awake, until I soak it UP!
This was a great video. I had to watch it a couple times and will be saving it for future reference. I'm in this process of learning to titrate my energy and essence based on the investment and character of the other person, but I love the language and analogies you used. Being in control of the tap and not giving away more of myself than I can afford to lose. And something really clicked about the difference between how I engage vs how the folks who've been manipulative or abusive to me engage, when you talked about the source of the power being my intention to offer connection for a bit vs their source of power being about validation (or in some cases, dominance).