What I hate the most is when you confront them about this.. they say that YOU’RE the insecure and jealous one. No buddy, I think it’s the other way around. Ladies, know your worth. Don’t lessen yourself to satisfy anyone’s ego.. it’s not a matter of jealousy or insecurities, it’s a matter of RESPECT. If he is disrespectful to you, he is NOT worth your time. Know. Your. Worth. 👏🏻👏🏻
It is so refreshing to hear that this is not normal behaviour. It may seem obvious, but my boyfriend does this quite frequently and when I state that I'm not comfortable with his comments he blames it on me for being over-sensitive. For a while I believed him.......not any more thank you.
I had this conversation with my bf. He didn’t say about ex’s but he has said things about people on tv. People always say that he’s punching way above his weight with me. I had this talk with boyfriend the other day and although he has agreed to stop saying things like that but he still blamed it on me saying that I’m pathetic and that he’s an independent person. I said it’s not me with the problem.
It's almost as if he feels insecure about himself and in a round about way he's trying to make her feel insecure as well. This will make him feel more comfortable and secure in being with her, like, we're both not so hot........woooww.
+Marlesha Maddox hello guys, should i delete my ex bf from snapchat ? he just added me recently and we don't talk to each other , plus i really hate seeing his snapstory everytime , please guys i need ur help
+Imane 18 yes, you should delete him. especially if you hate seeing his stories, and for two, you never really know what some of these guys are Really up to, their hidden agendas.
Omg he is insecure and that is the MOST UNATTRACTIVE TRAIT EVER! He's trying to make her feel bad about herself, so she won't leave him. Bottom line he is manipulative and abusive. Been there in this exact situation - left his ass 20 years ago and he's STILL alone.
Seems like a big accusation, but you couldn't be more insightful! Flauting hot exes is so extra, there's no other reason to do it other than pushing and testing boundaries.
I've been in a similar situation in my past. my ex constantly told me personal things about his ex girlfriends and how beautiful they were. even when I asked him to stop it but he occasionally kept going on with these comments. it was a toxic relationship and we dated about a year. he made me so insecure about myself so I left him without any regrets. I'm glad I did because I deserve the best!
This wouldn't even be a discussion with me. He'd be history the first time it happened. I have zero tolerance for bs. No one should have to explain why this is hurtful and disrespectful.
Repeated Put downs are Never to be excused, run before it's too late and you get sucked into his psychological warfare head games....he is doing that for a reason. To make you small and to get the upper hand in a very covert way! I know this tactic, much too well. It doesn't get better, you can explain until you're blue in the face as to how many ways it hurts you....the only thing you'll get back is that "you" are too sensitive and that it's all on you for feeling that way. Not only will it not stop, it will get worse! Until you are a shell of what you were before him. RUN for the hills!
She shouldn't have to tell him to compliment her.If a guy you're dating can't or won't give you a compliment freely then you need to reconsider why you're dating that guy. Especially if he can so Boldly compliment another woman to you so casually. Stop putting up with jerks, just to feel like you have a man. Once he feels he can get away with the small things, trust that he will amp up his Despicable Displays on you after a while. Love yourself and don't tolerate foolishness.
That's wht...there's plenty we could do without a man😌go flaunting with other men,try getting them in front of your guy and be all wavy and catwalky and stuff...also a bit bold muscular and switch energies in front of that douche bag and show him that he's juz an option you striked off...😌 nthng better...a little dose of that but never forget,that's all juz physical(drama) ...we gotta mentally stay put...aint need a rascal guy/boy We gonna meet a real man
Can we all appreciate the fact that both Matthew and Stephen has handled this subject with such gentleness and compassion that it didn't trigger any defensive response from her. Very beautifully done!
The last time I went out with my boyfriend he said to me that the girl singer in the band we were watching was hot. My response was, "yes she is, and the bass player sounds like he is hung like a horse" He hasn't made a comment like that since. :)
J.F well handled. If he can say something like that to you, without bigging you up, you are entitled to say what you like back. Fair game. He got educated fast from your response that was communicated and executed well for him to know, don't you dare try that rubbish with me.
cruiseny26 it's true! Girl RUN! My ex just yesterday saw a blonde on tv on the beach (I'm brunette) and said "yummm-eee!" I was like "what?" He just got angry and said it was a "joke" . I gave him a chance to acknowledge this was disrespectful. But he put it all on me , saying I'm insecure and controlling! After two years of his shit- and giving it another chance only to witness that, im saying goodbye. It isn't worth it ! Two wasted years ! Including him cheating and talking to other Women constantly! I'd rather be single and steer clear of these manipulators because that's what it is.
@@almondeyes1211 I'd say it depends on frequency of that happening and your own standards. I had an ex tell me very early on in our connection "Oh I'd really like to f*(k Kylie Minogue" when she was on telly, elaborately discussed it with his teenage son who was present. I should've left right then & there. Saying "She's hot!' is entirely different from your and my example.
I was in a long term relationship with a guy who CONSTANTLY compared me to his "perfect, gorgeous ex, the most beautiful woman he's ever seen", he was checking up on her Facebook daily. For the life of me, now I can't even comprehend how I thought it was possible for me to ignore that, trying to talk him out of it, thinking he would change. He never respected how I felt about it, just kept doing what he felt like and lying to me cause he believed that it's "not a big deal". But that ruined me, it bordered on psychological abuse that I will never, ever let happen again. A guy hung up on his ex is the worst kind of boyfriend. Makes you feel like shit while she becomes this goddess you can never live up to. Don't do that to yourself like I naively did, justifying it with loving someone so much that you're willing to put up with things that make you feel horrible about yourself. It's toxic.
I had an ex that did this to me. For an entire three years I keep bashing his ex to get back at him. He is abusing you. Don't let him get away with that garbage. Bad karma has a way of getting him though. Now he's alone and desperate for attention and I have moved on ...successful and whatnot. Besides, idk what I seen in him Hes a recovering addict who can't leave his mothers house. Just be glad u didnt end up with one of those scrubs like mine lmao
I know This was a long time ago, but this really made me cry, I'm so glad you're out of that relationship, I hope right now you are happy, and found the right guy You are very strong beautiful person
I’m so sorry you went through this. I’m currently dealing with this. A guy I’ve been dating actually said to me that his ex had a sexy ass, then he mentioned another ex who is no longer with him because she was jealous had a baby this week. I thought how did he know that unless he still talks to her or learned about it through social media. I lost count of all the women he’s told me he has been with. He’s only ever complimented me on the first night we met and then not at all since then! Like are you freaking kidding me! I’ve decided to let him go and love myself more! Take care of yourselves ladies! These types of men have low self esteem and they feel like they have to throw in your face about all their exes and try to make you jealous for what? They are the ones who will end up alone! 🙌🏻🤨
Keep Learning yep. I was married twenty years. I'm divorced now six years don't have boyfriend. But I sit back and watch all of these relationships either on social media or TV, or people I know. And that is all I think that relationships have their good points but they also have their bad points. And your right getting out there dating again is exhausting. I have too much going on in my life as it is. To go out and make the time to date anyone now. I'm lucky if I can just say hello and ask someone how they have been doing.
The boyfriend is super insecure and is trying to make her feel less of herself by talking about all his Ex's. It makes him feel powerful because it squashes his girlfriend down to feeling sad or maybe a little jealous. This is probably due to the fact that she is a good looking woman and he doesn't think he attractive enough to be with her. I'll bet he sabotaged all his past relationships in the exact same way.
Dear Sybersue 🙏🏽 Needed this cause I was in my feelings like a Drake hunts. I’m not cocky but I know I’m cute and what you wrote speaks volumes. I always felt like he thought I was tooooo pretty for him or would never date him plus I’m an older woman.Any way thank you 😊
Dear Sybersue wow, that sounds pretty accurate and made me hate this situation even more. What a douche. I don’t know why she’s putting up with that BS
He feels like he has "less value" than his hot gf, and that is why he constantly mentions his hot exes, that is, his conquests. That is all an act in order to appear bigger in this hot girlfriend's eyes. That is why he says to her: well, you know you are beautiful, there is no need for me to tell you
+Martina Majstorovic hello guys, should i delete my ex bf from snapchat ? he just added me recently and we don't talk to each other , plus i really hate seeing his snapstory everytime , please guys i need ur help
+Imane 18 I, personally, don't want a constant reminder of the ex. And also, him adding you (after you broke up, right?) is a way of testing whether you left a open door for some future hooking up
what, the kind who preys on girls' insecurities. The kind of guy who can predict his girl's every move. I like him just as much as the next person but you gotta admit he does do that.
All you need to do is say “When you do/say X, it makes me feel X.” The high quality person will sit and explore with you. They will apologize for hurting you or making you feel unloved, because they would never want to make you feel unloved. They will try better to communicate more effectively and not trigger your negative emotions. They will respond immediately with support. The insecure person will get defensive and tell you that your feelings are your own fault. Try it! Very interesting test to find out what kind of person you are dating. I’ve been in long term relationships with both types, and it is amazing how much happier and fulfilling it is to be with an emotionally available, mature, high value individual. Inspiring to be one myself!
You go girl I’m doing this today but I already know what to expect. I love myself enough to say no and leave because I know there’s guys out there who won’t treat me like this
Feelings aren't your fault. However, what you do after your experience those feelings is up to you, and it's a choice you have to make. You are responsible for this choice, not the bf.
I experienced this for 2.5 years... I finally ended the relationship. I got a hard lesson in how important it is to set these standards early. At least I know for next time!
I think guys who do this is a form of a control. He has insecurities and does not want to give her too much because she will be questioning why she's with him.
I dated a guy like this he was so insecure! He had photos of his exes in LINGERIE that he would show me like 'oh this is who I used to date she is so hot' blah blah blah. It just oozed insecurity, I had to let him go.
Zee Cee same, different thing here I stayed for more than a year, how ever I suffer the consequences. I started to feel insecure and question my appearance and body. But I'm free now, it feels so good to release it.
Holy crap, I could've written this comment. When I said it was weird I was told its nothing, just part of his past/memories.... he tells me how she contacted him to say how she regrets cheating on him etc
looool!!!Girl you don't need Matt to tell you to get tid of this guy. I don't need to wasting time with someone else to be putting me down. when I can manage that on my own😕. This is like a big red flag for me no questions asked. dont waste time bye bye🙋🙋🙋
Lool Girl! I would have told you to run no looking back💃💃💃. I don't put up with anyone that is not family(who are not mean..just difficult). Life is too short for that!
+tina kaye hello guys, should i delete my ex bf from snapchat ? he just added me recently and we don't talk to each other , plus i really hate seeing his snapstory everytime , please guys i need ur help
+Imane 18 please do delete him. He want's you to know he is having fun and he wants you to remember the past. To move on completley you have to cut all contact. what benefit is there in you having contact with him? except making you feel something which I am sure isn't happiness. If you don't have a reason for being friends i.e you have children. Don't rub keep making yourself feel uncomfortable delete his snapchat.
If a man is always talking about their ex hotties and never tells you your hot or your beautiful that is just wrong. We just got to believe in our own beauty even when they may not complimenting us.
I had a boyfriend who did these same tactics...his gorgeous ex, all the beautiful Instagram models always showing up, him always checking out females and making comments. Now I just realized he was a loser without a job living with me.
I had a similar problem with my ex at the beginning of our relationship (and even worse he was borderline comparing me with others), but I fixed it by calling him out on it. I told him, look I know that you are doing this because you may be feeling insecure and are therefore trying to drag me down and make me less secure about myself. I know exactly what you are doing and it needs to stop. Afterwards he rarely did it again.
I dated a guy who was a decade older than me (in his early 50s), used to be hot, big belly, kind of stuck in the 80s ☺. He constantly looked at other women whenever we went out. Several times I told him jokingly I was too beautiful, smart and interesting to be treated thus and once I went to sit at another table, finished my drink and left. Needless to say, it didn't work out. He went on to date other women and I went on to being happier without him.
I agree w Matt n his bro. You can give him a chance by telling him clearly what you want. But, if he's doing that in the first place, it may be a sign that he has a way to go in learning how to appropriately deal w his feelings of insecurity. What he is doing is not cool. As I get older I am working on this mantra: "It is not my job to 'fix' others!"
They dont care bc this is a sign of narcism.. If you tell them it bothers you it will stroke their ego. Its sad but this relationship is not worth fighting for.
This has literally saved me from thinking I lost something because I was to insecure - I was with someone and he was doing this right from the get go - I mentioned I wasn’t comfortable and he kept doing it - then I got upset and he got angry - I ended things but wasn’t sure if I messed up - this let’s me know I was right and I’ve since been learning about Red flags
Treat them mean to keep them keen is sadly a practice many people, male and female, still engage in and it's a reflection of their dysfunction. Accepting such behaviour is a reflection of your own dysfunction.
I would say buh-bye mate. Sooner or later, if you stay with him that is, his actions will probably effect your confidence and cause you to lose some of your security! You don't need to waste time on these sorts of people, ditch him and find someone who deserves you and lifts you up! Just my piece of friendly advice for Merideth :-)
This show was 7 years ago, so hopefully she is no longer with that loser. LISTEN ladies, please allow me so save you some time, and some grief: a man who says that about others but not about you, is NOT worthy your presence in his life. Please value yourself, please do not give a guy like that any more of your attention. Guys like that, there is no use trying to talk to them or explain to them how you feel. They know how you feel, and they are making sure to make you feel it too. They want to degrade you. A man who cares about you is never going to be talking about how hot his exes are, or any other women for that matter, and furthermore neglects telling you the same. He is sick. Run.
Sounds like psychopathic triangulation. I had a past boyfriend who did this. I did completely opposite what the Hussey experts are advising--who are assuming your guy is normal, just being rude and unconscious. I would agree with him when he would say what your guy is saying and I would add, "I know! She is amazing and so talented!! She just gets hotter and hotter!" After awhile he stopped because I wasn't giving him what he wanted which was to get me unhinged and demonstrating jealousy and insecurities. Needless to say, once I figured out this behavior and his gaslighting I was out of there. Good luck! Btw--I love Matthew's videos and advice for most men situations.
Agreed! Narcissistic behavior! They are pathologically insecure and love to triangulate to get a reaction of you. So important not to take the bait. They’re pitiful!
one possibity is that he is insecure, but in that case he would not give these comments about other women, he would be jealous, and possessive about his girlfriend. The second, and more probable option is that he is doing it to get upper hand in the relationship by manipulation, he is in control of how you feel in the moment, he is making you feel sad, and than later he will do something to make you feel less sad, or even happy and this will go in circles.
I'm an older woman and my first thought was that it's best for Meredith to end that so-called relationship, which I hope she decided to do! I've been there, done that and I'd tell the next one that I'm setting him free to be with all those hot women, IF it ever happens again. Another point is that the "partner" seems like the sort of person who wouldn't be able to care if she conveyed how she felt, or would use it against her, yet it's worth a try sometimes, then it will be clear as to what to do, even though it's usually much easier said than done. ❤
She needs to dump him. All she has to say if she wants to be diplomatic is," It seems like you are still hung up on your ex since you keep looking at her pictures and complimenting her appearance. You are clearly not ready for a relationship, so I think it's time for us to say goodbye to each other."
This guy is a narcissist. Run. Explaining your feelings doesn’t work. You shouldn’t have to explain that this is disrespectful to a grown man or woman.
I love this very authentic and frank advice that you guys give. You also don't undervalue the the beauty of a healthy relationship, because at the end of the day it boils down how you feel about one another and how you make each other feel
I think that he's not self-confident and he has complexes. He doesn't feel safe. You said that your more atractive than him. It's his strategy to hide it.
I put up with this for 2 years because my ex partner made me believe I was being insecure and unreasonable. Therefore I sought help to overcome my insecurity and he ends the relationship because I didn't trust him and then no joke adds like 60 models on instagram days after. Yeh dude you don't know how to be a partner. Never lifted me up once but told me repeatedly how amazing every other women was!
My guy does this and it floors me. Never experienced it before. I’m ok with how I look, at least I thought so. Men look at me- to the point that it intimidates me at times. So, this said, I know men are drawn to me even if I think I look like a deranged muppet some days. ( I have a lot of hair yo.) So my guy consistently tells me I’m very hot. But he consistently points out people on tv that are SMOKIN. Like, daily. He likes their big lips. Look at her lips! I buy plumping gloss. He points out their gorgeous straight hair, I try to straighten this corkscrew rapunzel mess on my head. He points out her gorgeous eyes, she’s sooo beautiful!- I see the fake eyelashes he doesn’t see and put on extra coats of mascara to look like that. This is how it goes. They take a mellow confident woman and reduce her to parts and emotional rubble. Last night he pointed out an actress, SO HOT. Twenty minutes later I experimented by saying, god, look at that guy’s body, he’s amazing! Never done that before. My guy stormed up to bed and said I’d hurt him. I laughed quietly for five minutes on the couch by myself. They’re doing it as a power move out of insecurity with us, to show they are unaffected and above us. To keep us down. Keep us on our toes. Now that I see what it is, I feel better. Hate the toxicity though. He’s no spring chicken. This is behavior one expects from boys. I’m keeping my head high and my eyes open. It’s literally the only thing about him that I can’t handle. It’s a mood killer and it makes me feel like I’m dating a high school sophomore for whom I’ll never be enough. Put it back in your pants, junior. Puhlease.
Alot of people look at photo's of their ex's but constantly referring to them just shows insecurity on his part and/or he is not that invested in you! Personally, I would test his commitment and if that shows as lacking I would leave cos this guy has some issues already, and does not sound at all worthy of your energy and time!
+ZOE L.M.F YES!! SOUNDS LIKE A NARCISSIST. WHAT ADULT DOESN'T KNOW THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR? DATE ADULTS ONLY. BOYS IN MEN'S BODIES CAN'T GO THE DISTANCE.
My partner of 2 months is _constantly_ on Facebook and Instagram liking provocative posts..I've lost interest in sex with him. Ladies, I feel your pain if you're dealing with this
Can relate with this caller...my guy will tell me from time to time that I'm beautiful and hot and comments on me but he frequently leaves attractive comments to other women more on Instagram and laying in bed with me liking provocative Instagram photos and when I let him know it hurts my feelings he says I'm insecure
Jessica Lynn Rangel men constantly love calling women insecure when they voice their disdain for their rude behavior.. knowing full well that their fragile ass egos wouldn’t be able to take even half of what they do to us...imagine them having to hear about how many guys we find attractive walking down city streets... I could make a dude slit his wrists... seriously...
Jessica Lynn Rangel oh my gosh I’m so sorry. You’re absolutely gorgeous btw. I’ve been there myself. Fell in love with a fool who was jealous of my beauty and always talked about all the other pretty women. Left his ass too! Who needs it. Know your worth beautiful lady. Xo
You are totally right Matthew and Steven, we girls are really sensitive about that thing and also, that is a very important part of a relationship, don't ever compare your present girlfriend to your past relationships. You guys are so amazing, i like to listen the advice you guys give!
Action speaks louder than words. If this woman turned the sound off on their relationship and observed the man's action, what she'll see is this: him looking and idolizing other women. There are a lot of really wonderful men out there and women need to tune their frequencies to those guys - 'cause I guarantee you those great guys are looking for you. Think of a man's bad behavior like dog poo - when women see poo, they should side step it and keep going.
The guy I'm dating is doing the same thing!! Yet hasn't told me that I am beautiful or hot not once! He buys me dinners and makes me food but the emotional disregard is enough for me to be over it. My standards are to high for this shit and I will leave his balls on blue no problem
It's so true. I date someone and when we reach at the restaurant, he's trying to say something "damn, she's hot" And i told him, she's hot! i don't mind be a lesbian to get her. And he just look at me. After dinner, i say good night and i need to meet my friends and drive off. I can't be bothered with a man behaving that way. Nahhh.. don't have time for all that.
Wow I won't date someone who does this to me. I'd always feel like I was their pal like a guy pal I do not feel romantically involved with a man who does this and I've had men do this and act surprised when I'm just not into them. Its not healthy to get tour ego petted by force and hidden indirect insults like this its pretty manipulative and immature.
I was with someone who did something like this. Pathologically did this to me. Idealized and obsessed about other women constantly. It was so hard on me. He brought up exes/friends at the worst possible times and it eroded our intimacy. We broke up months ago and it's still such a sore spot. It is psychological abuse. I really hate the idea of anyone being put through something like this.
I feel when men talk about other woman ,they arent right for the relationship and also could be taking the womans security away ,keeping you down ,so you can't move on cause hes got you where he wants and, if he's not so good looking ,he feels lucky but always under the threat a better looking man will really appreciate you and have more confidence ,cause being with this guy he will gradually take your self esteem away ,bit of a muddled text but Mathew ,I m sure you understand , Ive experienced this and being pretty ,he gradually made me think I wasn't ,cause he flirted and talked about other woman's rear ends,,, exes etc ,,I've now kept my distant and starting to feel whole again xx
Ahh my bf used to do that aaall the time. Once he told me about a woman he thought was a lot more beautiful than me, just saying it ten times in a row. God I hated that.
Broke up with my boyfriend due checking out girls and making comments in front of me. Third time he's done that to me in our 10 mos. Relationship. So upset. Not sure if I'm over-reacting. My gut instinct has been telling me that something has been off for awhile.
In all honesty..if you need to have that particular conversation with someone..then he isn't worth your time. Anyone that has any feelings at all..and has at some point, been in love..wouldn't behave that way. I feel..and trust that he more than likely has some sort of personality disorder..(NPD or similar).. If a person disregards your feelings..(RED FLAG)..If they lack respect toward you..(RED FLAG) If you tolerate that behaviour..it shows you lack respect for yourself..and it'll become an ongoing cycle in the long run. This is just my opinion..and up to you what you do with the info..but please know it comes from my heart and a very painful experience that almost cost me absolutely everthing you can possibly imagine. A complete recovery has been made..thankfully..but not before an extremely long hard road travelled. All i am saying is take your time in getting to know him..and if all else fails..trust your gut..if it doesn't feel right..then its not. I once saw this written somewhere and it stayed with me.. " WE SHOULD FOLLOW OUR GUT..BECAUSE OUR HEAD IS STUPID !! " 😜 All the very best for your future..🙏
I appreciate hearing other men say that this is inappropriate. We all notice attractive people, but to constantly be vocal about it is not kind or respectful. A good person builds their own partner up.
It sounds to me like he knows he is dating up and he may be trying to validate his worthiness to date her by mentioning the other pretty women he has dated. I think it's his issues coming to the surface of being insecure. He doesn't feel worthy of being your boyfriend.
I’ve gone through this with my ex and left him!!!!!! He was talking About sex with exes while having sex with me after I put all effort and into my looks, sex , being kind. I’m happy I left
oh my ....that is my ex boyfriend....objectively ugly and telling everybody that they are hot rather then me, that by the way I used to be a model...so he should have been pretty proud of dating me, and instead he was telling me that I was fat??!!!
MorningView that is a narcissist right there. they enjoy bragging about you in front of other people because it makes them look good (my girlfriend used to be a model) but will tell you you're fat to your face because they don't want you feel too good about yourself, or think you're better than them!! you feel me? I have an honorable but low paying position. my ex used to go around telling people what I did, and how he's proud of me. but to my face call me dumb and lazy for not making a lot of money!!
Wish I valued myself enough to leave the abusive relationship I’m in . My bf of almost two years has destroyed my self confidence with such behavior . He’s overweight less attractive then myself , yet continuously puts me down , my voice my body the way I think the way I look at life, my personal choices he condemns . He treats me like I’m Taco Bell, while treating other women like their a 5 Star restaurant. Hate myself for settling .
My husband tells me how hot and beautiful my friends are as well as other women but only says it to me if i ask...He makes me feel like shit about myself and its tempting me to cheat just to prove a point. I havent done it but its tempting.. im ready to file divorce and move on.
in this particular video, I liked Stephen more that Matthew. Matt is trying to keep the discussion open, politically correct, not assuming anything about what she wants from the guy, while Stephen is saying the reasonable, maybe not so politically correct thing, but human thing, that "from where I come from, this is not normal behavior for a guy". We should try to keep what we think open minded and generic, but.. in this video I loved Stephen's contribution.
My husband keeps liking pictures of girls he knows “friends” and the pictures are her in thong bikinis and selfies but mostly bikinis and he says that he “wants to be in a relationship where he isn’t crucified for being a man” we have a daughter together and idk what to do, this isnt the first time and i really haven’t felt like he is proud of being with me like i am
I had a guy do that to me, and other kind of hypocritical stuff... I gave him 6 months. I let him know how i felt he made it my fault said I was insecure and he did it to make me feel insecure. When I met him I was strong afterwards I had lost a lot of self esteem... I am so glad I ended it. I didn't bother explaining either just ended it, stopped answering his calls, or if I did said I was busy and then changed phone number etc... no reason for me to put up with that or explain so I can hear his excuses.
I'm so proud of you self love is the best love you could give yourself I'm currently at a point on protecting my peace of mind and silently removing myself because my so call boyfriend would give me nice compliments but still make me feel less than other woman he put on a pedestal say they better than me n look better than me meaning women who are celebrities in other woman who are regular people that is not famous it did it more than twice im slowly removeing myself emotionally physically and mentally
It is plain insulting. That is why staying single is always better because you will always be beautiful in someone else's eyes....there will always be someone else who cherishes you. Then when he loses you, he will realize you were the hottest woman in his life.
I used to be with a guy like that and he picked the prettier, more gullible girl and dumped me as soon as he had a chance. I tried working on his self-confidence issues so hard and that was a big waste of time. Picking someone who cares about your feelings should come first. I was in people pleaser mode a lot, but he would not listen even when I was firmer. He simply did not care for my feelings, he only pretended to when he knew something was in it for him. Matthew has a great video on toxic people I can recommend in this context.
Unfortunately saw this happen to my sister (who is a stunning looking lass) . Her now ex husband used to make comments all the time (even being a perv to me) she used to just laugh it off, not wanting to appear insecure, as until him, she wasn’t. When they were divorcing my boyfriend told me that within the first couple of times that he had met Chris, he was showing him photos of ex girlfriends (that’s when my sister was his wife). This girl just needs to ditch him - sounds like he is insecure & no amount of attention will be enough until he addresses his own insecurities and issues!
I think he is just insecure about his own looks! He knows she is more attractive than him and doesn't want her to remember that.. That's why he refers to hot women, hot exes and not her.. If he really thinks you're not hot, then why is he sticking around with you?!
This is where high standards pay off, this isn't about being picky. It's about not tolerating the humiliating behaviour.
What I hate the most is when you confront them about this.. they say that YOU’RE the insecure and jealous one. No buddy, I think it’s the other way around. Ladies, know your worth. Don’t lessen yourself to satisfy anyone’s ego.. it’s not a matter of jealousy or insecurities, it’s a matter of RESPECT. If he is disrespectful to you, he is NOT worth your time. Know. Your. Worth. 👏🏻👏🏻
It’s just disrespectful
Exactly like WTH 😂
yeah, they twist it around. At least the bad ones do that, the ones to stay away from. Ridiculous.
Yup
It is so refreshing to hear that this is not normal behaviour. It may seem obvious, but my boyfriend does this quite frequently and when I state that I'm not comfortable with his comments he blames it on me for being over-sensitive. For a while I believed him.......not any more thank you.
Can totally relate and agree. They make you think it's you! Relieved to know it's him and my gut feeling was right as soon as I felt off
I think that’s what he was looking for...to put you down enough to say that you’re not comfortable.
flirt with another guy in his face. and compliment another guy in his face. watch his ego bruise.
it makes me sad :/
@@farhiyaa4880 yeah sis...tell her to plssss do evn if she's over it
DUMP HIM!!!!!!!!!!
He is trying to put you down and sounds a bit like a narcissist. Get rid of him!
Yes baby.. DUMP HIM! He deserves it! He is a little bitch!
agreed, sounds like some manipulative bs!
LOLLOLOLOL Heck yea let's make him mgtow
He knows that she's hotter than him so he's trying to bring down her confidence.
That was my thought too
I had this conversation with my bf.
He didn’t say about ex’s but he has said things about people on tv.
People always say that he’s punching way above his weight with me.
I had this talk with boyfriend the other day and although he has agreed to stop saying things like that but he still blamed it on me saying that I’m pathetic and that he’s an independent person.
I said it’s not me with the problem.
Basically if he hadn’t of stopped we would be over as I’m not going to be disrespected like that!
Interesting perspective…
Correct!!!
"Small" men takes pleasure in putting women down.
Urah Vassell well said dear
Yes small c*** syndrome is what it’s called
He wasn’t actually putting her down but it’s toxic and nonetheless
True that
I’ve always found short men to be the most toxic. Bitter, nasty incels and toxic AF!
It's almost as if he feels insecure about himself and in a round about way he's trying to make her feel insecure as well. This will make him feel more comfortable and secure in being with her, like, we're both not so hot........woooww.
+Marlesha Maddox I agree.
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
+Marlesha Maddox
hello guys, should i delete my ex bf from snapchat ? he just added me recently and we don't talk to each other , plus i really hate seeing his snapstory everytime , please guys i need ur help
Exactly
+Imane 18 yes, you should delete him. especially if you hate seeing his stories, and for two, you never really know what some of these guys are Really up to, their hidden agendas.
Omg he is insecure and that is the MOST UNATTRACTIVE TRAIT EVER! He's trying to make her feel bad about herself, so she won't leave him. Bottom line he is manipulative and abusive. Been there in this exact situation - left his ass 20 years ago and he's STILL alone.
so you "left him" 20 years ago yet somehow you still know him well enough to know he is alone?
Left him tied up in the basement and he's been alone down there for 2 decades :)
Yep, he is insecure and triangulating her.
This made me 😃
LemonNation go back to mgtow
Extremely disrespectful. He's testing your tolerance for abuse, basically.
McFraneth Fradet unless sharing smth,? So call smth but not
Well put fradet
Seems like a big accusation, but you couldn't be more insightful!
Flauting hot exes is so extra, there's no other reason to do it other than pushing and testing boundaries.
Absolutely!!!
Find a better quality guy
who finds you beautiful the way you are
Break up with him! You'll instantly make it to the hot list in his book. :)
Diana Armstrong ;D
XD yeah!
Why is this the truth??
But then she won’t get his money...
omg its funny cause its true
I've been in a similar situation in my past. my ex constantly told me personal things about his ex girlfriends and how beautiful they were. even when I asked him to stop it but he occasionally kept going on with these comments. it was a toxic relationship and we dated about a year. he made me so insecure about myself so I left him without any regrets. I'm glad I did because I deserve the best!
WHAT YOUR BF WAS DOING IS CALLED EMOTIONAL ABUSE, THANK GOD YOU GOT RID OF HIM!!!
This wouldn't even be a discussion with me. He'd be history the first time it happened. I have zero tolerance for bs. No one should have to explain why this is hurtful and disrespectful.
👏👏👏
Matthew gives the toxic boyfriend wayyyyyyyyyy too much leeway. In fact I’m dismayed.
facts!!
💯💯💯
Repeated Put downs are Never to be excused, run before it's too late and you get sucked into his psychological warfare head games....he is doing that for a reason. To make you small and to get the upper hand in a very covert way! I know this tactic, much too well. It doesn't get better, you can explain until you're blue in the face as to how many ways it hurts you....the only thing you'll get back is that "you" are too sensitive and that it's all on you for feeling that way. Not only will it not stop, it will get worse! Until you are a shell of what you were before him. RUN for the hills!
I agree, or he'll accuse her of being too jealous.
this is his way of control, and manipulation, ...
@Chamber_Of_Quirks he is being extremely rude... and I bet he would never disrespect his male friends on this level
those r REALLY good words "i need to feel secure in the relationship n this doesn't make me feel secure"
She shouldn't have to tell him to compliment her.If a guy you're dating can't or won't give you a compliment freely then you need to reconsider why you're dating that guy. Especially if he can so Boldly compliment another woman to you so casually. Stop putting up with jerks, just to feel like you have a man. Once he feels he can get away with the small things, trust that he will amp up his Despicable Displays on you after a while. Love yourself and don't tolerate foolishness.
That's wht...there's plenty we could do without a man😌go flaunting with other men,try getting them in front of your guy and be all wavy and catwalky and stuff...also a bit bold muscular and switch energies in front of that douche bag and show him that he's juz an option you striked off...😌 nthng better...a little dose of that but never forget,that's all juz physical(drama) ...we gotta mentally stay put...aint need a rascal guy/boy
We gonna meet a real man
Can we all appreciate the fact that both Matthew and Stephen has handled this subject with such gentleness and compassion that it didn't trigger any defensive response from her. Very beautifully done!
His intention is to make her 1. Insecure 2. Jealous AND an attempt to build up his own ego & low self esteem.
The last time I went out with my boyfriend he said to me that the girl singer in the band we were watching was hot. My response was, "yes she is, and the bass player sounds like he is hung like a horse" He hasn't made a comment like that since. :)
I hope you two don't get married, as you're not communicating well at this point.
😂 Whatever works !!!
Lol your bf reduced women to their appearance, so you reduced men to their genitals, POWER MOVE!
😂🤣👏
J.F well handled. If he can say something like that to you, without bigging you up, you are entitled to say what you like back. Fair game. He got educated fast from your response that was communicated and executed well for him to know, don't you dare try that rubbish with me.
Red Flag. This is emotional and psychological abuse and mind games.
cruiseny26 it's true! Girl RUN! My ex just yesterday saw a blonde on tv on the beach (I'm brunette) and said "yummm-eee!" I was like "what?" He just got angry and said it was a "joke" . I gave him a chance to acknowledge this was disrespectful. But he put it all on me , saying I'm insecure and controlling!
After two years of his shit- and giving it another chance only to witness that, im saying goodbye. It isn't worth it ! Two wasted years ! Including him cheating and talking to other Women constantly! I'd rather be single and steer clear of these manipulators because that's what it is.
red flad he's devaluing you...
Run ....These are sign of an NARCSISISTS !
How about men complimenting celebrities body parts in front of a women I.e nice arse and T*Ts in front of a woman ?
@@almondeyes1211 I'd say it depends on frequency of that happening and your own standards. I had an ex tell me very early on in our connection "Oh I'd really like to f*(k Kylie Minogue" when she was on telly, elaborately discussed it with his teenage son who was present. I should've left right then & there.
Saying "She's hot!' is entirely different from your and my example.
My ex would constantly say women on tv were hot etc. thanks for validating this is not ok or normal.
I was in a long term relationship with a guy who CONSTANTLY compared me to his "perfect, gorgeous ex, the most beautiful woman he's ever seen", he was checking up on her Facebook daily. For the life of me, now I can't even comprehend how I thought it was possible for me to ignore that, trying to talk him out of it, thinking he would change. He never respected how I felt about it, just kept doing what he felt like and lying to me cause he believed that it's "not a big deal". But that ruined me, it bordered on psychological abuse that I will never, ever let happen again. A guy hung up on his ex is the worst kind of boyfriend. Makes you feel like shit while she becomes this goddess you can never live up to. Don't do that to yourself like I naively did, justifying it with loving someone so much that you're willing to put up with things that make you feel horrible about yourself. It's toxic.
I had an ex that did this to me. For an entire three years I keep bashing his ex to get back at him. He is abusing you. Don't let him get away with that garbage. Bad karma has a way of getting him though. Now he's alone and desperate for attention and I have moved on ...successful and whatnot. Besides, idk what I seen in him Hes a recovering addict who can't leave his mothers house. Just be glad u didnt end up with one of those scrubs like mine lmao
I know This was a long time ago, but this really made me cry, I'm so glad you're out of that relationship, I hope right now you are happy, and found the right guy
You are very strong beautiful person
Psyberologist I
I couldn't agree more with you I'm going through this... I'm sorry for your experience I know how it hurts!
I’m so sorry you went through this. I’m currently dealing with this. A guy I’ve been dating actually said to me that his ex had a sexy ass, then he mentioned another ex who is no longer with him because she was jealous had a baby this week. I thought how did he know that unless he still talks to her or learned about it through social media. I lost count of all the women he’s told me he has been with. He’s only ever complimented me on the first night we met and then not at all since then! Like are you freaking kidding me! I’ve decided to let him go and love myself more! Take care of yourselves ladies! These types of men have low self esteem and they feel like they have to throw in your face about all their exes and try to make you jealous for what? They are the ones who will end up alone! 🙌🏻🤨
Research dismissive avoidants and "phantom ex's".
Dating = EXHAUSTING😩
Keep Learning yep. I was married twenty years. I'm divorced now six years don't have boyfriend. But I sit back and watch all of these relationships either on social media or TV, or people I know. And that is all I think that relationships have their good points but they also have their bad points. And your right getting out there dating again is exhausting.
I have too much going on in my life as it is. To go out and make the time to date anyone now.
I'm lucky if I can just say hello and ask someone how they have been doing.
Hell yeah
I don't want to do it again :/
YUP 😂😂😂
Omg yea
The boyfriend is super insecure and is trying to make her feel less of herself by talking about all his Ex's. It makes him feel powerful because it squashes his girlfriend down to feeling sad or maybe a little jealous. This is probably due to the fact that she is a good looking woman and he doesn't think he attractive enough to be with her. I'll bet he sabotaged all his past relationships in the exact same way.
Trash ! God take out the garbage sister. Please pig
Dear Sybersue 🙏🏽 Needed this cause I was in my feelings like a Drake hunts. I’m not cocky but I know I’m cute and what you wrote speaks volumes. I always felt like he thought I was tooooo pretty for him or would never date him plus I’m an older woman.Any way thank you 😊
Dear Sybersue wow, that sounds pretty accurate and made me hate this situation even more. What a douche. I don’t know why she’s putting up with that BS
@zhuan omg please leave that is hurtful!! Im so sorry for you, that is real nasty.. You are really beautiful, dont do this to yourself. Take care ❤️
men are all insecure,because sadly they all do this and now are mad it's biting them in their asses
He feels like he has "less value" than his hot gf, and that is why he constantly mentions his hot exes, that is, his conquests. That is all an act in order to appear bigger in this hot girlfriend's eyes. That is why he says to her: well, you know you are beautiful, there is no need for me to tell you
yes this definitely could be the case
Well put, I totally think you're right. Pretty dumb strategy on his part though. Girls are never impressed by conquests.
+lenwan1 I like this. It should definitely work, lol.
+Martina Majstorovic
hello guys, should i delete my ex bf from snapchat ? he just added me recently and we don't talk to each other , plus i really hate seeing his snapstory everytime , please guys i need ur help
+Imane 18 I, personally, don't want a constant reminder of the ex. And also, him adding you (after you broke up, right?) is a way of testing whether you left a open door for some future hooking up
ummm firstly, HE IS CALLING OTHER GIRLS HOT.
Then he calls his exes hot?
DUMP HIM!
I would of been threw his ugly ass away in the trash
I'm so late to this but for real!!
Why aren't all the guys like you Matthew :(
he's the prototype
what, the kind who preys on girls' insecurities. The kind of guy who can predict his girl's every move.
I like him just as much as the next person but you gotta admit he does do that.
Cuz not all girls are good either :(
too many sadly are not
@@Shri100percent aww poor boys are mad,poor yoh
All you need to do is say “When you do/say X, it makes me feel X.” The high quality person will sit and explore with you. They will apologize for hurting you or making you feel unloved, because they would never want to make you feel unloved. They will try better to communicate more effectively and not trigger your negative emotions. They will respond immediately with support. The insecure person will get defensive and tell you that your feelings are your own fault. Try it! Very interesting test to find out what kind of person you are dating. I’ve been in long term relationships with both types, and it is amazing how much happier and fulfilling it is to be with an emotionally available, mature, high value individual. Inspiring to be one myself!
You go girl I’m doing this today but I already know what to expect. I love myself enough to say no and leave because I know there’s guys out there who won’t treat me like this
Feelings aren't your fault. However, what you do after your experience those feelings is up to you, and it's a choice you have to make. You are responsible for this choice, not the bf.
okay I did it :") it's all clean and good thankz
@@junsbby1053 well tell me sis..how abt it?
@@RomanGolubev_A ah typical male blaming women,good job small dick
I experienced this for 2.5 years... I finally ended the relationship. I got a hard lesson in how important it is to set these standards early. At least I know for next time!
I think guys who do this is a form of a control. He has insecurities and does not want to give her too much because she will be questioning why she's with him.
I dated a guy like this he was so insecure! He had photos of his exes in LINGERIE that he would show me like 'oh this is who I used to date she is so hot' blah blah blah. It just oozed insecurity, I had to let him go.
Zee Cee same, different thing here I stayed for more than a year, how ever I suffer the consequences. I started to feel insecure and question my appearance and body. But I'm free now, it feels so good to release it.
zeeeee how we both here likeeeeeeee heheehehhehehehe
OMG what a freak🤭
Holy crap, I could've written this comment. When I said it was weird I was told its nothing, just part of his past/memories.... he tells me how she contacted him to say how she regrets cheating on him etc
looool!!!Girl you don't need Matt to tell you to get tid of this guy. I don't need to wasting time with someone else to be putting me down. when I can manage that on my own😕. This is like a big red flag for me no questions asked. dont waste time bye bye🙋🙋🙋
Omg where were you when I needed you 3 years ago? 😂👌🏼
Lool Girl! I would have told you to run no looking back💃💃💃. I don't put up with anyone that is not family(who are not mean..just difficult). Life is too short for that!
yasssss!!!
+tina kaye
hello guys, should i delete my ex bf from snapchat ? he just added me recently and we don't talk to each other , plus i really hate seeing his snapstory everytime , please guys i need ur help
+Imane 18 please do delete him. He want's you to know he is having fun and he wants you to remember the past. To move on completley you have to cut all contact. what benefit is there in you having contact with him? except making you feel something which I am sure isn't happiness. If you don't have a reason for being friends i.e you have children. Don't rub keep making yourself feel uncomfortable delete his snapchat.
And then you see his ex girlfriend and she is just an average woman... Get rid of this immature insecure men 😂
Btw...it's usually true. At least in my experience
Always like this
Amen so true.
If a man is always talking about their ex hotties and never tells you your hot or your beautiful that is just wrong. We just got to believe in our own beauty even when they may not complimenting us.
I had a boyfriend who did these same tactics...his gorgeous ex, all the beautiful Instagram models always showing up, him always checking out females and making comments. Now I just realized he was a loser without a job living with me.
I had a similar problem with my ex at the beginning of our relationship (and even worse he was borderline comparing me with others), but I fixed it by calling him out on it. I told him, look I know that you are doing this because you may be feeling insecure and are therefore trying to drag me down and make me less secure about myself. I know exactly what you are doing and it needs to stop. Afterwards he rarely did it again.
Same as my ex... And act surprised when i left. Weirdo. How tf you gonna do the same behavior twice ?😂
Babe you got balls for daaaays!!!
I dated a guy who was a decade older than me (in his early 50s), used to be hot, big belly, kind of stuck in the 80s ☺. He constantly looked at other women whenever we went out. Several times I told him jokingly I was too beautiful, smart and interesting to be treated thus and once I went to sit at another table, finished my drink and left. Needless to say, it didn't work out. He went on to date other women and I went on to being happier without him.
I agree w Matt n his bro. You can give him a chance by telling him clearly what you want. But, if he's doing that in the first place, it may be a sign that he has a way to go in learning how to appropriately deal w his feelings of insecurity. What he is doing is not cool. As I get older I am working on this mantra: "It is not my job to 'fix' others!"
They dont care bc this is a sign of narcism.. If you tell them it bothers you it will stroke their ego. Its sad but this relationship is not worth fighting for.
This has literally saved me from thinking I lost something because I was to insecure - I was with someone and he was doing this right from the get go - I mentioned I wasn’t comfortable and he kept doing it - then I got upset and he got angry - I ended things but wasn’t sure if I messed up - this let’s me know I was right and I’ve since been learning about Red flags
Yes you are totally right girl! Don‘t let a douchebag steal your shine! Much love for you!
Her dude is a narc! Matt was spot on.
I could not be With a guy Who tells me other women are hot. I think It is very disrespectful even if is someone on tv
Every bf ive ever had, has done this to me
@@Wintersnow889 same and they all try to make up some bs like "iT's NaTuRaL!!"
@@GabrielleTollerson its disrespectful and im telling my next bf flat out dont do it
She needs to "next" this guy....
My boyfriend just told me casually that he saw an attractive girl . It felt like something was burning in my middle chest 😢
It’s your jealousy and insecurity burning. Otherwise what he said wouldn’t bother you if you have confidence in yourself.
Why she is still trying?! If my man husband said that I would dump him away in that very moment. And he knows it ! Wtffff
Check for narcissism. "You should already know that" means he enjoys humiliating you over making you feel hot and desirable. Common to narcs.
Treat them mean to keep them keen is sadly a practice many people, male and female, still engage in and it's a reflection of their dysfunction. Accepting such behaviour is a reflection of your own dysfunction.
I would say buh-bye mate. Sooner or later, if you stay with him that is, his actions will probably effect your confidence and cause you to lose some of your security! You don't need to waste time on these sorts of people, ditch him and find someone who deserves you and lifts you up! Just my piece of friendly advice for Merideth :-)
j
+Imane 18 delete him!
+Imane 18 Yeah definitely delete him in my opinion! As you said you don't speak to him or want to see his stories so just delete him off it! :)
ùm
+Imane 18 Good for you! Don't torture yourself.
This show was 7 years ago, so hopefully she is no longer with that loser. LISTEN ladies, please allow me so save you some time, and some grief: a man who says that about others but not about you, is NOT worthy your presence in his life. Please value yourself, please do not give a guy like that any more of your attention. Guys like that, there is no use trying to talk to them or explain to them how you feel. They know how you feel, and they are making sure to make you feel it too. They want to degrade you. A man who cares about you is never going to be talking about how hot his exes are, or any other women for that matter, and furthermore neglects telling you the same. He is sick. Run.
exactly and it is NOT normal!!! We should stop men from trying to gaslight us into thinking it is!!
Sounds like psychopathic triangulation. I had a past boyfriend who did this. I did completely opposite what the Hussey experts are advising--who are assuming your guy is normal, just being rude and unconscious. I would agree with him when he would say what your guy is saying and I would add, "I know! She is amazing and so talented!! She just gets hotter and hotter!" After awhile he stopped because I wasn't giving him what he wanted which was to get me unhinged and demonstrating jealousy and insecurities. Needless to say, once I figured out this behavior and his gaslighting I was out of there. Good luck!
Btw--I love Matthew's videos and advice for most men situations.
Agreed! Narcissistic behavior! They are pathologically insecure and love to triangulate to get a reaction of you. So important not to take the bait. They’re pitiful!
one possibity is that he is insecure, but in that case he would not give these comments about other women, he would be jealous, and possessive about his girlfriend. The second, and more probable option is that he is doing it to get upper hand in the relationship by manipulation, he is in control of how you feel in the moment, he is making you feel sad, and than later he will do something to make you feel less sad, or even happy and this will go in circles.
I'm an older woman and my first thought was that it's best for Meredith to end that so-called relationship, which I hope she decided to do! I've been there, done that and I'd tell the next one that I'm setting him free to be with all those hot women, IF it ever happens again.
Another point is that the "partner" seems like the sort of person who wouldn't be able to care if she conveyed how she felt, or would use it against her, yet it's worth a try sometimes, then it will be clear as to what to do, even though it's usually much easier said than done. ❤
To me, it sounds like he's trying to make her jealous. Regardless, he sounds like a project.
She sounds pretty jealous already.
She needs to dump him. All she has to say if she wants to be diplomatic is," It seems like you are still hung up on your ex since you keep looking at her pictures and complimenting her appearance. You are clearly not ready for a relationship, so I think it's time for us to say goodbye to each other."
This happens waaaaay too often in many of the relationships I've been in, seen, and heard of.
This guy is a narcissist. Run. Explaining your feelings doesn’t work. You shouldn’t have to explain that this is disrespectful to a grown man or woman.
You guys looked genuinely upset about this, but then who wouldn't be!!
I love this very authentic and frank advice that you guys give. You also don't undervalue the the beauty of a healthy relationship, because at the end of the day it boils down how you feel about one another and how you make each other feel
100%....I agree with this.
I think that he's not self-confident and he has complexes. He doesn't feel safe. You said that your more atractive than him. It's his strategy to hide it.
I put up with this for 2 years because my ex partner made me believe I was being insecure and unreasonable. Therefore I sought help to overcome my insecurity and he ends the relationship because I didn't trust him and then no joke adds like 60 models on instagram days after. Yeh dude you don't know how to be a partner. Never lifted me up once but told me repeatedly how amazing every other women was!
I'd rather tell him " then you go with that woman, Have an amazing day :)" Then I leave him immediately
My guy does this and it floors me. Never experienced it before. I’m ok with how I look, at least I thought so. Men look at me- to the point that it intimidates me at times. So, this said, I know men are drawn to me even if I think I look like a deranged muppet some days. ( I have a lot of hair yo.)
So my guy consistently tells me I’m very hot. But he consistently points out people on tv that are SMOKIN. Like, daily. He likes their big lips. Look at her lips! I buy plumping gloss. He points out their gorgeous straight hair, I try to straighten this corkscrew rapunzel mess on my head. He points out her gorgeous eyes, she’s sooo beautiful!- I see the fake eyelashes he doesn’t see and put on extra coats of mascara to look like that.
This is how it goes. They take a mellow confident woman and reduce her to parts and emotional rubble.
Last night he pointed out an actress, SO HOT. Twenty minutes later I experimented by saying, god, look at that guy’s body, he’s amazing! Never done that before.
My guy stormed up to bed and said I’d hurt him. I laughed quietly for five minutes on the couch by myself.
They’re doing it as a power move out of insecurity with us, to show they are unaffected and above us. To keep us down. Keep us on our toes.
Now that I see what it is, I feel better. Hate the toxicity though. He’s no spring chicken. This is behavior one expects from boys. I’m keeping my head high and my eyes open. It’s literally the only thing about him that I can’t handle. It’s a mood killer and it makes me feel like I’m dating a high school sophomore for whom I’ll never be enough. Put it back in your pants, junior. Puhlease.
I can't believe he got mad over what he does...lol. what did he say later?
Alot of people look at photo's of their ex's but constantly referring to them just shows insecurity on his part and/or he is not that invested in you! Personally, I would test his commitment and if that shows as lacking I would leave cos this guy has some issues already, and does not sound at all worthy of your energy and time!
+ZOE L.M.F
YES!!
SOUNDS LIKE A NARCISSIST. WHAT ADULT DOESN'T KNOW THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR?
DATE ADULTS ONLY.
BOYS IN MEN'S BODIES CAN'T GO THE DISTANCE.
+granny sweet yup
My partner of 2 months is _constantly_ on Facebook and Instagram liking provocative posts..I've lost interest in sex with him. Ladies, I feel your pain if you're dealing with this
My problem is that why should you even have to tell a guy this
because too many pretend that it's ok
Can relate with this caller...my guy will tell me from time to time that I'm beautiful and hot and comments on me but he frequently leaves attractive comments to other women more on Instagram and laying in bed with me liking provocative Instagram photos and when I let him know it hurts my feelings he says I'm insecure
Jessica Lynn Rangel that's messed up in my opinion :(
Jessica Lynn Rangel men constantly love calling women insecure when they voice their disdain for their rude behavior.. knowing full well that their fragile ass egos wouldn’t be able to take even half of what they do to us...imagine them having to hear about how many guys we find attractive walking down city streets... I could make a dude slit his wrists... seriously...
He is a sick pervert!
Jessica Lynn Rangel oh my gosh I’m so sorry. You’re absolutely gorgeous btw. I’ve been there myself. Fell in love with a fool who was jealous of my beauty and always talked about all the other pretty women. Left his ass too! Who needs it. Know your worth beautiful lady. Xo
really wow I'm a male I thank God I'm a loyal ,honest guy.
You are totally right Matthew and Steven, we girls are really sensitive about that thing and also, that is a very important part of a relationship, don't ever compare your present girlfriend to your past relationships.
You guys are so amazing, i like to listen the advice you guys give!
Action speaks louder than words. If this woman turned the sound off on their relationship and observed the man's action, what she'll see is this: him looking and idolizing other women. There are a lot of really wonderful men out there and women need to tune their frequencies to those guys - 'cause I guarantee you those great guys are looking for you. Think of a man's bad behavior like dog poo - when women see poo, they should side step it and keep going.
Eliz Cringle thanks. I really like that statement- fine tune to great men. Wow ! Such an intelligent and powerful woman you must be!
Dog poo lol
He knows what he's doing. Trust me, explain yourself once... The second time just go, no time to feel less then anyone
The guy I'm dating is doing the same thing!! Yet hasn't told me that I am beautiful or hot not once! He buys me dinners and makes me food but the emotional disregard is enough for me to be over it. My standards are to high for this shit and I will leave his balls on blue no problem
Leave him. You are worth more.
Please leave asap
It's so true. I date someone and when we reach at the restaurant, he's trying to say something "damn, she's hot" And i told him, she's hot! i don't mind be a lesbian to get her. And he just look at me. After dinner, i say good night and i need to meet my friends and drive off. I can't be bothered with a man behaving that way. Nahhh.. don't have time for all that.
Wow I won't date someone who does this to me. I'd always feel like I was their pal like a guy pal I do not feel romantically involved with a man who does this and I've had men do this and act surprised when I'm just not into them. Its not healthy to get tour ego petted by force and hidden indirect insults like this its pretty manipulative and immature.
Booming Bubble Bus yeah I agree they are only hurting themselves by making me feel like I’m their guy friend.
Always on point Matthew (and Steven)! So many women are afraid to be honest about how they feel. Honest communication is so important!
Girl, your bf is a toxic person. Get rid of him.
I was with someone who did something like this. Pathologically did this to me. Idealized and obsessed about other women constantly. It was so hard on me. He brought up exes/friends at the worst possible times and it eroded our intimacy. We broke up months ago and it's still such a sore spot. It is psychological abuse. I really hate the idea of anyone being put through something like this.
Her boyfriend doesn't respect her and doesn't truly want her.
Maybe he thinks she's too confident and he feels insecure.
She could say: "Do you think I find you attractive when I see that you are insecure"?
I feel when men talk about other woman ,they arent right for the relationship and also could be taking the womans security away ,keeping you down ,so you can't move on cause hes got you where he wants and, if he's not so good looking ,he feels lucky but always under the threat a better looking man will really appreciate you and have more confidence ,cause being with this guy he will gradually take your self esteem away ,bit of a muddled text but Mathew ,I m sure you understand ,
Ive experienced this and being pretty ,he gradually made me think I wasn't ,cause he flirted and talked about other woman's rear ends,,, exes etc ,,I've now kept my distant and starting to feel whole again xx
This cracked me up. been there with a guy saying his ex GFs are hot and 150000 followers on facebook and wowing girls profiles..... BYE BYE
Thank you for calling this out as inappropriate behaviour!
Ahh my bf used to do that aaall the time. Once he told me about a woman he thought was a lot more beautiful than me, just saying it ten times in a row. God I hated that.
It's sad that he would do that to you, nobody deserves to be treated that way. You are beautiful!
Kristina Sandnes my bf did the Same
I went through this too
Broke up with my boyfriend due checking out girls and making comments in front of me. Third time he's done that to me in our 10 mos. Relationship. So upset. Not sure if I'm over-reacting. My gut instinct has been telling me that something has been off for awhile.
You did the right thing by breaking up with him.
In all honesty..if you need to have that particular conversation with someone..then he isn't worth your time.
Anyone that has any feelings at all..and has at some point, been in love..wouldn't behave that way.
I feel..and trust that he more than likely has some sort of personality disorder..(NPD or similar)..
If a person disregards your feelings..(RED FLAG)..If they lack respect toward you..(RED FLAG)
If you tolerate that behaviour..it shows you lack respect for yourself..and it'll become an ongoing cycle in the long run.
This is just my opinion..and up to you what you do with the info..but please know it comes from my heart and a very painful experience that almost cost me absolutely everthing you can possibly imagine.
A complete recovery has been made..thankfully..but not before an extremely long hard road travelled.
All i am saying is take your time in getting to know him..and if all else fails..trust your gut..if it doesn't feel right..then its not.
I once saw this written somewhere and it stayed with me..
" WE SHOULD FOLLOW OUR GUT..BECAUSE OUR HEAD IS STUPID !! " 😜
All the very best for your future..🙏
I appreciate hearing other men say that this is inappropriate. We all notice attractive people, but to constantly be vocal about it is not kind or respectful. A good person builds their own partner up.
It sounds to me like he knows he is dating up and he may be trying to validate his worthiness to date her by mentioning the other pretty women he has dated. I think it's his issues coming to the surface of being insecure. He doesn't feel worthy of being your boyfriend.
I’ve gone through this with my ex and left him!!!!!! He was talking About sex with exes while having sex with me after I put all effort and into my looks, sex , being kind. I’m happy I left
oh my ....that is my ex boyfriend....objectively ugly and telling everybody that they are hot rather then me,
that by the way I used to be a model...so he should have been pretty proud of dating me,
and instead he was telling me that I was fat??!!!
MorningView that is a narcissist right there. they enjoy bragging about you in front of other people because it makes them look good (my girlfriend used to be a model) but will tell you you're fat to your face because they don't want you feel too good about yourself, or think you're better than them!! you feel me? I have an honorable but low paying position. my ex used to go around telling people what I did, and how he's proud of me. but to my face call me dumb and lazy for not making a lot of money!!
Oh my god this sounds like my ex
From 14 years ago. Exactly the same and he was fat. He ending up leaving me for someone who looked so similar to me..
Wish I valued myself enough to leave the abusive relationship I’m in . My bf of almost two years has destroyed my self confidence with such behavior .
He’s overweight less attractive then myself , yet continuously puts me down , my voice my body the way I think the way I look at life, my personal choices he condemns . He treats me like I’m Taco Bell, while treating other women like their a 5 Star restaurant.
Hate myself for settling .
Girl you have one life--drop him!!!!!
Lose the guy. That is very disrespectful and no man worth having would say that to someone he cares for.
My husband tells me how hot and beautiful my friends are as well as other women but only says it to me if i ask...He makes me feel like shit about myself and its tempting me to cheat just to prove a point. I havent done it but its tempting.. im ready to file divorce and move on.
Why Lower yourself to that level by cheating... I would just simply divorce
Don’t walk away. RUN!!!
Narcissist
100%
I like Stevens advice on this one an Matt too but Stevens approach is more direct
in this particular video, I liked Stephen more that Matthew. Matt is trying to keep the discussion open, politically correct, not assuming anything about what she wants from the guy, while Stephen is saying the reasonable, maybe not so politically correct thing, but human thing, that "from where I come from, this is not normal behavior for a guy". We should try to keep what we think open minded and generic, but.. in this video I loved Stephen's contribution.
My husband keeps liking pictures of girls he knows “friends” and the pictures are her in thong bikinis and selfies but mostly bikinis and he says that he “wants to be in a relationship where he isn’t crucified for being a man” we have a daughter together and idk what to do, this isnt the first time and i really haven’t felt like he is proud of being with me like i am
He's lowering your opinion and self worth to assert control and widen the number of things he can get away with.
I had a guy do that to me, and other kind of hypocritical stuff... I gave him 6 months. I let him know how i felt he made it my fault said I was insecure and he did it to make me feel insecure. When I met him I was strong afterwards I had lost a lot of self esteem... I am so glad I ended it. I didn't bother explaining either just ended it, stopped answering his calls, or if I did said I was busy and then changed phone number etc... no reason for me to put up with that or explain so I can hear his excuses.
I'm so proud of you self love is the best love you could give yourself I'm currently at a point on protecting my peace of mind and silently removing myself because my so call boyfriend would give me nice compliments but still make me feel less than other woman he put on a pedestal say they better than me n look better than me meaning women who are celebrities in other woman who are regular people that is not famous it did it more than twice im slowly removeing myself emotionally physically and mentally
It is plain insulting. That is why staying single is always better because you will always be beautiful in someone else's eyes....there will always be someone else who cherishes you. Then when he loses you, he will realize you were the hottest woman in his life.
I used to be with a guy like that and he picked the prettier, more gullible girl and dumped me as soon as he had a chance. I tried working on his self-confidence issues so hard and that was a big waste of time. Picking someone who cares about your feelings should come first. I was in people pleaser mode a lot, but he would not listen even when I was firmer. He simply did not care for my feelings, he only pretended to when he knew something was in it for him. Matthew has a great video on toxic people I can recommend in this context.
Unfortunately saw this happen to my sister (who is a stunning looking lass) . Her now ex husband used to make comments all the time (even being a perv to me) she used to just laugh it off, not wanting to appear insecure, as until him, she wasn’t. When they were divorcing my boyfriend told me that within the first couple of times that he had met Chris, he was showing him photos of ex girlfriends (that’s when my sister was his wife). This girl just needs to ditch him - sounds like he is insecure & no amount of attention will be enough until he addresses his own insecurities and issues!
I think he is just insecure about his own looks! He knows she is more attractive than him and doesn't want her to remember that.. That's why he refers to hot women, hot exes and not her.. If he really thinks you're not hot, then why is he sticking around with you?!
Amen well said, so true.
Personally, the women's boyfriends just sounds like a insecure and immature person who is trying to make her jealous.