I wish to weigh in. Don't do it. There is so much more to so-called surrogacy that cannot fit into our healthy human experience. The child you seek to create can eventually have a completely different opinion about surrogacy than you are conceptualizing right now. In addition, if your fairy tale does not come true, you could find yourselves in some great life troubles. Express what you have to GIVE a child differently than through surrogacy. Don't focus primarily on what you would GET. Much respect to a lovely couple.
From a woman perspective, can I just stress how brave Jess has been so far? Sharing your journey while you are actually going through it is extremely difficult and distressing! I only started talking about my infertility experience when I decided to get over it, took a different direction, and I got into a healthier mental state. It took me over 8 years of a quite solitary grieving, while people's comments kept hurting and punching me on the face. Well done both for addressing people's comments and suggestions, even the most appropriate ones. Thanks for openly talking about it, because there's so much people don't know or pretend not to know, there are so many misconceptions, social pressure and lack of empathy around us. And kudos to Alessio for being a supportive partner, this is not obvious! Whatever next step you decide to take (or can afford to take) in your infertility journey, it'll never, NEVER, be an easy one! Take good care of yourselves and, whatever direction your journey takes, you'll be happy again (and much stronger than you used to be)! x
My wife and I met in 2002, and got married in 2004. We never purposely tried to have a child, but we didn’t not try, if that makes sense. Finally, in 2011, my wife got pregnant. About 5 months into her pregnancy, we lost our child. It was devastating. We were both in a dark place and struggled to cope for a brief period. After finding out that my wife has severe endometriosis, and she cannot conceive, we understood and came to the realization that we would never have children. After going through all of that, we became so much stronger. We don’t have any regrets. Adoption wasn’t on the table. We both knew if we couldn’t have our own child then so be it. Ultimately, the decision is yours alone, and nobody should have any input but you both. Just remember that together you are strong and sometimes, things might not work out how you envisioned. Wish you both nothing but the best. Tutto il meglio!!
I lost my oldest son and my twin boys at five months too. People don't realize it's a chid loss but it is. Prayers for you and your wife. Youre not alone.
I agree, when you conceive, you are a Mom & when you lose this precious one before he or she makes the grand entrance, the loss is very valid. Bless you n all other's that have endured this tragic loss. You'll see this little one someday. Meanwhile, please be good to yourself & live, do not simply exist. Peace be with us all 🙏. "Isa"
Finally someone actually thinks of a miscarriage as a great loss. I have had 8 and they were very painful. I also had endometriosis and had 5 laparoscopy surgeries. The last one was my hysterectomy. No more pain from endometriosis and no more losses. I am 68 yrs old now.@FemiNelson-sb1em
Don't know how many (if any) people have talked to you about, or if you've talked together about, being ok without having children at all. My husband and I didn't. We were very close, a loving beautiful relationship. Some people think 'family' means children but not so! Alan and I were a family and the happiest family we knew to boot. There are many things you can do if you don't have children. It too is a life more than worth living. I lost my husband and I am going on 72 (Italian from Naples by the way, and my husband was a British born Australian citizen) and it's ok we didn't have children. Never felt bereft not having them, we just lived a different life of moving back to Australia, then back to America and again! We traveled, we had a cat and a dog, we had a full life. Even if the 'worst' happens and no children are in the cards for you, it's not a tragedy. There is a different and fulfilling life still to be led.
Do whatever suits you. Everyone is full of useful and useless advice because we all want you to be happy, but your choices only need to make sense to the two of you and no one else ❤
Agreed. I'm sorry you guys have to deal with so much unsolicited advice, but at the very least, it's because people care. You two know what is best for you, and I wish you all the best luck in expanding your family! ❤
Don’t do immoral things. Surrogacy is absolutely horrible for the surrogates, and tough on the babies. It increases the risk of cancer in a surrogate mother by a great amount. If they are paid, it’s even more immoral, taking advantage of under-privileged women’s bodies and putting their health at risk. The emotional and mental stress and manipulation on top. The pain of milk coming in. The distraction of their pelvic floor and vagina. It’s evil. The trickery that happens in virtually every paid situation to the surrogates. There’s a reason most countries are starting to ban it.
Coming from someone who survived IVF and came out with a beautiful baby, I know this is a winding path. I’ve been there. I’m not going to tell you “to be patient” or “think of the glass half full,” but my only advice is to lean on each other. So many days I called my husband sobbing mid work day with “I can’t do this anymore,” so many days I just cried in his arms. Lean on each other. You will be parents one day and it will all be worth it, but you’re in the thick of it right now. Lean on each other!
Jessy, you are so strong! You are talking about all these difficulties and challenges and still finding strength to share them with a smile! Sending love and support your way 💪🏻💕
As a former infertility patient who after 12 years of trying was unable to get pregnant, I am so sorry you have to endure the negative and hurtful comments of viewers in addition to your stressful physical problems! You are so kind and thoughtful of others feelings, I wish people would give you the same grace. Sending love and prayers from Maryville TN
I am so cheered by your calm perseverance and long time plans. I really am sorry you have come up against these obstacles. You seem like a perfect couple to have children and love and care for them with patience and humour. I wish you, as always, all the best. D from London uk
Thank you for sharing your journey (I find it very helpful), but please don't ever feel like you owe us your story. It is such a personal journey, and if you ever prefer to keep some or all of the aspects private, please do so ❤
You are such a special and loving couple in so many ways. Even during trying times you always maintain a sense of humor and positive attitude. I wish you all the best❤
The positive attitude you both have is amazing. So many people struggle with this. I can't imagine the stress from what is happening is making it any easier. Prayers for you both.
I hope you know how many of us are praying for you!! There are few couples who seem better equipped than you two. May your dreams come true very soon. 🙏💕🤗
You're both very strong and amazing for taking all these setbacks with so much grace! It took me 6 months and a miscarriage to get pregnant and even that felt so long and difficult. I applaud anyone who goes through any sort of infertility treatments!
This video reminded me of a story I heard of a woman not being able to carry a pregnancy to term and she did the egg retrieval but needed a surrogate; her mom ended up volunteering to be her surrogate . I pray no matter what happens that your dream of have kids will come true.
You’re in my thoughts and prayers! Thank you for sharing your story. You’re helping so many couples to know they aren’t alone. I know the pain of trying to have a baby. Do what’s best for you and I’m so happy you’re staying positive!
Jessie you are 100% right. People's feelings should be validated and respected no matter how they differ from someone else's opinion and experiences. You both look like you would be wonderful and loving parents. It has been a tough journey for you both but you shouldn't loose faith. The best thing is that you clearly love and support each other and that's what's important.
Do whatever is best for YOU. You're the only people who know what truly matters to you, what you're willing to do, and how long you're able to endure. Even family shouldn't really factor in your decisions unless they're offering surrogacy, should you opt to go that route. As for the Italian law regarding embryos: Bravo! If that had been in place here in the US, octomom wouldn't have been put through the ordeal she endured with her very unethical doctor. My heart goes out to you. Sending love, prayers, and healthy vibes your way.
You guys are a super cute couple. Cute with how you are with each other, your fan base, and your whole attitude during what must be a difficult time. I started following months ago bc of your adorable shorts and travel vlogs, but I have stayed loyal bc of your willingness to share your honest experience. Much love!
I’m currently a surrogate. I used an agency to match me with intended parents. But there are match groups on FB where you can find a person to do an independent journey. But yes it’s expensive for the intended parents. I hope you’re able to move forward and carry for yourself!
I thought of surrogacy for you when you spoke of your sister. I definitely would have done it for my sisters and they would have done it for me. I know it has high costs attached but you have so many that would give to this. ❤️God bless you both! Everything will work itself out. Keep your thoughts of success high and prayers are coming.
I agree, if it is something that you wanted you have such a HUGE support system not just with your families but with all of us that have been with you on your life journey throughout the years that would be willing to donate/give to the cause! If surrogacy is the last resort I would start a go fund me, guarantee people would be willing to help with your dream of being parents!
The decisions are agonizing, but only you can decide how to proceed. I wish you strength and clear thinking.🌷Whatever you decide will be the right choice!
You are doing fine. Your positive attitude and faith will get you through this. Just continue with the love and respect you have for one another. This is your life and your decisions to make. Most importantly take care of each other. You both need to stay healthy! ❤🙏🏻
Your journey is 💯 percent such an emotional and personal one. Whatever you decide, no matter what that is, may God bless it and give you peace and success in the next steps. Praying for you from Texas.
Alessio and Jessi I’m praying for you!! No matter what is decided in your situation, I pray that you find peace and comfort!! I pray that God guides your hearts & continues to bless you both!🙏🙏🙏🙏😍😍😍😍
Exactly 26 years ago today I met my beautiful baby girl in China. She, and 3 years later my second baby, made my dreams come true. I hope you find a way to have your dreams come true.
So wonderful. ❤ I am the very lucky mother of three wonderful daughters, two who were adopted from China. All three of my children were a gift and all three are the best thing I have ever done in my life time. Everyone has their own path to parenthood.
My son was born in China and is the greatest gift I could ever imagine. But I always remind the people who say "just adopt" that it's also a slow, very expensive process, and that there's loss at the heart of even the most successful adoptions. And, ultimately, it's just not for everyone.
You are wonderful people doing all you can and should do...take moments to relax/de-stress because this is a journey. So thankful you have each other. Because ❤ counts 😊 and you got this.
I was a surrogate from friends and carried twins (in my contract there was a bonus for carrying twins too). You are correct, it is quite expensive in the US. It was quite a tiring experience. You guys do what works for you... I just hope it all comes together for you guys.
You always have the best attitude and outlook, even when there are bumps in the road. I am sure this is hard, and hopefully the days ahead become easier and you have success with this process. Much love to you both! ♥️
I had a friend who works in a major US corporation (not a tech company in California). She was very fortunate to have a company who is very committed about recruiting and retaining women in leadership positions. They paid the full cost of her surrogacy. Twice. One surrogacy costs $300K in US. Maybe you need to work for a company that can at least help subsidize family planning. Some companies also cover IVF treatments.
I feel for you all...remember your life will still be meaningful and wonderful even if you can never have a child. Of course don't give up but remember you will still have a wonderful life
Love watching you two. Praying for you and this journey but I love your mindset. I am the proud mama of 2 IVF girls so I know what the process is like and it’s a lot. I didn’t do it with an audience so I’m sure that makes it way harder. Keep on keeping on like you are and I’m sure your baby will be here before we know it. Sending you all the baby dust I can! ❤
I had endometriosis and had several surgeries and procedures for cysts and complications and 50 percent damage to the female organs and was told I needed a hysterectomy by the age of 19 and I put my faith in God and had two children after that and although the hysterectomy came at the age of 27 it was worth everything I went through .Believe and trust in the Lord and his plan for your lives, not the ways of man .Not my will, but his will on earth as it is in heaven
First of all, thank you for your transparency. While it's hard, I'm glad to see that so many more people are being open about their fertility struggles so people don't need to feel as alone on the journey. I don't have personal experience as I'm not yet in the process of trying to start a family, but a good friend from school opted for independent surrogacy back in 2017-18 and it was fascinating following the blog that she and the surrogate kept along the way. Recently she started doing surrogacy consulting for people interested in going the independent route but wanting some level of guidance. If you're curious to even just take a look at her website (and/or the blog mentioned earlier) and maybe ask a couple questions if anything comes to mind, I'd be happy to share it (preferably in a message rather than publicly).
You have such a lovely spirit between you. It sounds to me that you trust your medical team and are happy with your current working plan. I have not faced this challenge but I do live with a challenging situation as a carer for a young person. Sometimes things are so difficult and complex that it seems they will never work out and then sometimes, against the odds, and when you are not even expecting it, they do. With sincere best wishes and prayers. ❤
Please people, don’t say just adopt! It’s the worst thing to say to someone in the trenches of IVF. It’s far more complicated just like surrogacy is too
I get that but from someone who needs a donor egg, the cost/ time/ emotional turmoil of going through that and IVF, it’s comforting to know there is a different option. If you want to be a parent- it doesn’t matter if the child is yours biologically. If that’s the only reason, I think it might be worth asking your self some serious questions.
Nope. People need to tell the truth. Ivf is unhealthy, it’s wicked too, it prays on women’s obsessions and shames, it rarely works. Surrogacy is a million times more unethical. We can’t just spare feelings and create a handmaiden society. Women who are infertile need health support, ivf is not healthy, and mental counseling for when they get obsessed, they don’t need enabling of their obsession. We also need the truth, endometriosis is passed down at like a 50% rate, why are we so desperate to pass down these inferior genes to children? You can’t genetically test for endo, they test for other abnormalities but not that. It’s insane.
@@ChaquetaB greatly raises risk of cancers: breast, uterine, ovarian. Risks of ivf I can recall off the top of my head: cancer, ovarian cysts, ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome, ectopic pregnancy, uterine infection, birth defects like heart disease and gastro malformation, premature birth, problems with giving birth because of damaged to cervix and uterus, hormonal issues, ovarian torsion, not to mention headaches, feeling very ill for months before a pregnancy, etc etc Also, it’s pretty unsuccessful. Women under 30 have a success rate of 30% with ivf, and women over from 10-20%. And this is with multiple tries, not per round. Also, many women go on to conceive naturally after ivf, 1 in 5! Not because ivf, despite it. Not to mention all the unique human beings being killed during ivf
I’m praying for y’all. For sure ❤ I keep asking the Lord to give you a baby. My husband and I used Nashville Fertility Center - my doctor was Dr. Weitzman. Do you have a sister in your families for surrogacy? I can’t stand endometriosis. I have had it since my cycles started. I fear my daughter has it now. It’s terrible. 😢 They don’t know what causes it. I hope they find a cure. Y’all are so adorable together. The love is so palpable through the screen that you two have for one another. ❤ How amazing is it you have so many souls supporting your journey. Much love for you both 🫶
Jessie and Alessio, I don’t know you and don’t need to know you, but you two would make amazing parents and I would be your surrogate free of charge and with papers all drawn up. You two deserve this! Stay positive
Well good for you guys to keep trying you have to do what’s best for you !! I understand having your own child of course that’s the first option but you’ll see when the time is right a child is a child and that’s all you want & adoption is also a wonderful option
I’m so sorry that this process is so hard to manage. I sincerely hope that this works for you. It’s hurts my heart when good people struggle for children ❤
I couldn’t think of two more deserving parents than you both. We just love you, no matter what you choose to do. There could never be a more loved child. I am praying for you.
🙏❤️ Whatever you both decide is best for you. Such a long journey. Blessings to you both. So glad to see you feeling better Jessi, continued prayers 🙏🤗
Hey Jessie and Alessio, Blessings and prayers for your journey.❤ Lately my prayers have been answered...so I hope my prayers for you...help you as well. 🙏🏻❤
In the uk surrogacy is legal and altruistic so they can only claim reasonable expenses which is usually £12000-£20000. Plus pay for their medical bills for various tests and implantation but then the rest of the pregnancy would be covered on the nhs. Then you have to pay lawyers for a parental order so the child is legally yours. I’m having to have a child through surrogacy and we are going to start trying with my sister being my surrogate at the end of the year. We have 4 embryos from a donor egg (unfortunately I don’t even have any eggs and retrieving eggs would be too dangerous for me because I have a heart condition so it would be too dangerous to be pregnant as well.). Watching this video made me very thankful I live in the uk. I hope you have success with your fertility journey..❤
Very important is to try a diet that can help her with the endometriosis. I followed several diets until I was able to get pregnant. Finally, at age 40, after so many years trying I delivered a healthy boy.
I don’t have advice, just encouraging words that you have a community that has fallen in love with you and we are here thinking, some praying and others just wishing the best for you. Just know that you are not alone.
thank you lot for sharing. so sorry that so many people have audacity to ask and push for "new better options" it is your way and i for sure you are doing that best for you and your family. all the best luck!!!! waiting for a good news)))
I just found you guys, and I don’t know if you are living in Italy, or US. But I know I read that Surrogacy is illegal in Italy. But yeah, surrogacy is super pricy! I think you two are a wonderful couple, and I support your decision no matter what you guys choose to do. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.♥️
Most countries have banned surrogacy for ethical reasons. The US isn’t exactly known for being very ethical when it comes to medicine. The US is also one of the only countries in the world that allows public advertising for pharmaceutical drugs like anti-depressants for example Anyway, I pray IVF works out for them ❤️ they deserve it!!!
I suffered years and years of infertility before and in between my children. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this, it’s heartbreaking 💔 I’m so glad that you’ve decided not to go down the surrogacy route. Women’s bodies should not be for hire. The plight of vulnerable women to be surrogates in some countries is soul destroying.
I think it depends on how much a family means to you. It sounds like a lot! If both of you are both on the same page then sure! Do what makes you happy!
I'm sorry you two are dealing with this great difficulty. I have maybe left 1 or 2 comments in the past on your foodie adventures, but I want to tell you I consider those productions the very best of the genre.
If the FET in Italy does not work, do embryo banking with another cycle in the US. A surrogate is a great option IF you have uterine issues, but if you don't and can carry a baby, then don't. But I would suggest doing embryo banking with PGT testing so that any embryos made are tested so you're not transfering blindly, you're transfering chromosomally normal embryos. Given your age, you should try to bank 6-8 embryos that are normal, so do one or two retrievals (depending on how many embryos you get first retrieval)....that way you have enough embryos for a pregnancy, and embryos made at your age now, not in 1-3 years later when you want another baby (if you want more than one baby). There are very good, reasonably priced clinics in the US who don't have the crazy overhead expenses of the east or west coast cities, or the middle big cities.
So, we did this. It is not easy, it took three years to find the right carrier. The total cost was $150K fifteen years ago. But, if all else fails, you can still have your own genetic children. Whatever road you take, I hope you end up with the family you want.
Only you can decide what is right for you! Whatever you decide we still will be here supporting both of you. Your love for each other and your faith in God will see you through everything. I don’t know what’s worse I could get pregnant but lost 5 and my son was born at 6-8 weeks early and only 3% chance of living. He’s 48 now. My mom took DES when she was pregnant with me and I had juvenile size uterus and was T shaped.
Absolutely! There are so many children in need of loving parents. I know of a couple where one parent is from the US and the other from a European country, and they adopted an infant from a third country. So their family is global and very happy. In addition, there are many resources where families bond with others who have also adopted children and they support one another, share holidays, and expand their relationships.
You two do you. As I told my children babies are babies. It doesn't matter if they're surrogates, adoptive or anything else. As long as you love them its all good.
It's also illegal in Italy as they mentioned and Italian citizens residing abroad have had difficulty registering their surrogacy - born children (born abroad) as Italian citizens.
Gestational Carriers are 😇. So many details. There is definitely a financial barrier for most to consider GC. just like the barriers for other ways to become parents. Best of luck considering all of your options.
In society: Surrogates are angels, but prostitutes devils. Such bs. Selling women’s bodies is never okay. It’s bad for women, increases their cancer risks, can wreck their body, and bad for babies.
We have looked into surrogacy. In California it would be $120,000 for someone through an agency. It’s expensive and not a slam dunk. We are saving for it. But it’s so great that you guys have embryos! So much struggle to get those, you got half the battle down!
Very hard decision to make. My friend was surrogate mother 2x and about to do 3rd one, after which she said she will be done. She had very good experience with the whole process. And yes, the lawyer does go over a very lengthly paperwork. I hope you had a family member in US willing to do this. I had no idea it was this expensive. My sisters had multiple miscarriages, so I can understand the pain. Hold in there, hopefully a solution comes! Wishing you all the best! ❤
From what I understand adoption is an easier process, at least that’s how it’s been for one of my friends. She fostered one child, and then adopted her. The same woman got pregnant again with the same father and now she has two little girls. She’s also by the way doing this by herself. you have to do what makes you happy. But, also know that there are other choices out there.❤❤❤❤
I will pray for you both. Try to stay optimistic. Babies usually happen when you stop stressing. I hope your health gets better so you both can have your baby.
This is such a personal decision. And it’s yours alone. I pray for you two to have success in whatever you choose! ❤
I wish to weigh in. Don't do it. There is so much more to so-called surrogacy that cannot fit into our healthy human experience. The child you seek to create can eventually have a completely different opinion about surrogacy than you are conceptualizing right now. In addition, if your fairy tale does not come true, you could find yourselves in some great life troubles. Express what you have to GIVE a child differently than through surrogacy. Don't focus primarily on what you would GET.
Much respect to a lovely couple.
From a woman perspective, can I just stress how brave Jess has been so far? Sharing your journey while you are actually going through it is extremely difficult and distressing! I only started talking about my infertility experience when I decided to get over it, took a different direction, and I got into a healthier mental state. It took me over 8 years of a quite solitary grieving, while people's comments kept hurting and punching me on the face. Well done both for addressing people's comments and suggestions, even the most appropriate ones. Thanks for openly talking about it, because there's so much people don't know or pretend not to know, there are so many misconceptions, social pressure and lack of empathy around us. And kudos to Alessio for being a supportive partner, this is not obvious! Whatever next step you decide to take (or can afford to take) in your infertility journey, it'll never, NEVER, be an easy one! Take good care of yourselves and, whatever direction your journey takes, you'll be happy again (and much stronger than you used to be)! x
My wife and I met in 2002, and got married in 2004. We never purposely tried to have a child, but we didn’t not try, if that makes sense. Finally, in 2011, my wife got pregnant. About 5 months into her pregnancy, we lost our child. It was devastating. We were both in a dark place and struggled to cope for a brief period. After finding out that my wife has severe endometriosis, and she cannot conceive, we understood and came to the realization that we would never have children.
After going through all of that, we became so much stronger. We don’t have any regrets. Adoption wasn’t on the table. We both knew if we couldn’t have our own child then so be it.
Ultimately, the decision is yours alone, and nobody should have any input but you both. Just remember that together you are strong and sometimes, things might not work out how you envisioned. Wish you both nothing but the best. Tutto il meglio!!
I lost my oldest son and my twin boys at five months too. People don't realize it's a chid loss but it is. Prayers for you and your wife. Youre not alone.
I agree, when you conceive, you are a Mom & when you lose this precious one before he or she makes the grand entrance, the loss is very valid. Bless you n all other's that have endured this tragic loss. You'll see this little one someday. Meanwhile, please be good to yourself & live, do not simply exist. Peace be with us all 🙏. "Isa"
Finally someone actually thinks of a miscarriage as a great loss. I have had 8 and they were very painful. I also had endometriosis and had 5 laparoscopy surgeries. The last one was my hysterectomy. No more pain from endometriosis and no more losses. I am 68 yrs old now.@FemiNelson-sb1em
Don't know how many (if any) people have talked to you about, or if you've talked together about, being ok without having children at all. My husband and I didn't. We were very close, a loving beautiful relationship. Some people think 'family' means children but not so! Alan and I were a family and the happiest family we knew to boot. There are many things you can do if you don't have children. It too is a life more than worth living. I lost my husband and I am going on 72 (Italian from Naples by the way, and my husband was a British born Australian citizen) and it's ok we didn't have children. Never felt bereft not having them, we just lived a different life of moving back to Australia, then back to America and again! We traveled, we had a cat and a dog, we had a full life. Even if the 'worst' happens and no children are in the cards for you, it's not a tragedy. There is a different and fulfilling life still to be led.
Do whatever suits you. Everyone is full of useful and useless advice because we all want you to be happy, but your choices only need to make sense to the two of you and no one else ❤
Agreed. I'm sorry you guys have to deal with so much unsolicited advice, but at the very least, it's because people care. You two know what is best for you, and I wish you all the best luck in expanding your family! ❤
Exactly this!!!
Exactly!
I wish both of you good luck and prayers. I think that putting your medical history on the internet is a bad idea.
Don’t do immoral things. Surrogacy is absolutely horrible for the surrogates, and tough on the babies. It increases the risk of cancer in a surrogate mother by a great amount. If they are paid, it’s even more immoral, taking advantage of under-privileged women’s bodies and putting their health at risk. The emotional and mental stress and manipulation on top. The pain of milk coming in. The distraction of their pelvic floor and vagina. It’s evil. The trickery that happens in virtually every paid situation to the surrogates. There’s a reason most countries are starting to ban it.
Coming from someone who survived IVF and came out with a beautiful baby, I know this is a winding path. I’ve been there. I’m not going to tell you “to be patient” or “think of the glass half full,” but my only advice is to lean on each other. So many days I called my husband sobbing mid work day with “I can’t do this anymore,” so many days I just cried in his arms. Lean on each other. You will be parents one day and it will all be worth it, but you’re in the thick of it right now. Lean on each other!
Thank you for being so transparent with your followers in such a personal decision. I am praying that life turns out as you have dreamed about.🙏💕
Jessy, you are so strong! You are talking about all these difficulties and challenges and still finding strength to share them with a smile! Sending love and support your way 💪🏻💕
As a former infertility patient who after 12 years of trying was unable to get pregnant, I am so sorry you have to endure the negative and hurtful comments of viewers in addition to your stressful physical problems! You are so kind and thoughtful of others feelings, I wish people would give you the same grace. Sending love and prayers from Maryville TN
I am so cheered by your calm perseverance and long time plans. I really am sorry you have come up against these obstacles. You seem like a perfect couple to have children and love and care for them with patience and humour. I wish you, as always, all the best. D from London uk
You’ll figure it out. You’ll be great parents. Your love for each other is beautiful. 💕
Thank you for sharing your journey (I find it very helpful), but please don't ever feel like you owe us your story. It is such a personal journey, and if you ever prefer to keep some or all of the aspects private, please do so ❤
You are such a special and loving couple in so many ways. Even during trying times you always maintain a sense of humor and positive attitude. I wish you all the best❤
The positive attitude you both have is amazing. So many people struggle with this. I can't imagine the stress from what is happening is making it any easier. Prayers for you both.
I hope you know how many of us are praying for you!! There are few couples who seem better equipped than you two. May your dreams come true very soon. 🙏💕🤗
Thank you both for the courage to share this journey, I wish you guys best of luck and pls know that it really helps us folks out immensely
You're both very strong and amazing for taking all these setbacks with so much grace! It took me 6 months and a miscarriage to get pregnant and even that felt so long and difficult. I applaud anyone who goes through any sort of infertility treatments!
This video reminded me of a story I heard of a woman not being able to carry a pregnancy to term and she did the egg retrieval but needed a surrogate; her mom ended up volunteering to be her surrogate . I pray no matter what happens that your dream of have kids will come true.
You’re in my thoughts and prayers! Thank you for sharing your story. You’re helping so many couples to know they aren’t alone. I know the pain of trying to have a baby. Do what’s best for you and I’m so happy you’re staying positive!
Jessie you are 100% right. People's feelings should be validated and respected no matter how they differ from someone else's opinion and experiences. You both look like you would be wonderful and loving parents. It has been a tough journey for you both but you shouldn't loose faith. The best thing is that you clearly love and support each other and that's what's important.
Do whatever is best for YOU. You're the only people who know what truly matters to you, what you're willing to do, and how long you're able to endure. Even family shouldn't really factor in your decisions unless they're offering surrogacy, should you opt to go that route.
As for the Italian law regarding embryos: Bravo! If that had been in place here in the US, octomom wouldn't have been put through the ordeal she endured with her very unethical doctor.
My heart goes out to you. Sending love, prayers, and healthy vibes your way.
Praying that you get the family of your dreams, whatever form that takes for you. Sending love and prayers to you both.
You guys are a super cute couple. Cute with how you are with each other, your fan base, and your whole attitude during what must be a difficult time. I started following months ago bc of your adorable shorts and travel vlogs, but I have stayed loyal bc of your willingness to share your honest experience. Much love!
You guys are amazing! I love how positive your outlook is, even within these trials.
I’m currently a surrogate. I used an agency to match me with intended parents. But there are match groups on FB where you can find a person to do an independent journey. But yes it’s expensive for the intended parents. I hope you’re able to move forward and carry for yourself!
I thought of surrogacy for you when you spoke of your sister. I definitely would have done it for my sisters and they would have done it for me. I know it has high costs attached but you have so many that would give to this. ❤️God bless you both! Everything will work itself out. Keep your thoughts of success high and prayers are coming.
I agree, if it is something that you wanted you have such a HUGE support system not just with your families but with all of us that have been with you on your life journey throughout the years that would be willing to donate/give to the cause! If surrogacy is the last resort I would start a go fund me, guarantee people would be willing to help with your dream of being parents!
You are being so thoughtful about everything. You still have a lot of options to consider. I'm keeping you in my thoughts.
The decisions are agonizing, but only you can decide how to proceed. I wish you strength and clear thinking.🌷Whatever you decide will be the right choice!
You are doing fine. Your positive attitude and faith will get you through this. Just continue with the love and respect you have for one another. This is your life and your decisions to make. Most importantly take care of each other. You both need to stay healthy! ❤🙏🏻
This is your journey and you both need to listen to your heart and what is best for the two of you. Lots of love for both of you ❤️🤗🙏
Your journey is 💯 percent such an emotional and personal one. Whatever you decide, no matter what that is, may God bless it and give you peace and success in the next steps.
Praying for you from Texas.
Alessio and Jessi I’m praying for you!! No matter what is decided in your situation, I pray that you find peace and comfort!! I pray that God guides your hearts & continues to bless you both!🙏🙏🙏🙏😍😍😍😍
Despite your hardships you two are really blessed. You have a solid relationship & great attitude. It will work put - Dio vede è provede🎉
Exactly 26 years ago today I met my beautiful baby girl in China. She, and 3 years later my second baby, made my dreams come true. I hope you find a way to have your dreams come true.
So wonderful. ❤ I am the very lucky mother of three wonderful daughters, two who were adopted from China. All three of my children were a gift and all three are the best thing I have ever done in my life time. Everyone has their own path to parenthood.
My son was born in China and is the greatest gift I could ever imagine. But I always remind the people who say "just adopt" that it's also a slow, very expensive process, and that there's loss at the heart of even the most successful adoptions. And, ultimately, it's just not for everyone.
You are wonderful people doing all you can and should do...take moments to relax/de-stress because this is a journey. So thankful you have each other. Because ❤ counts 😊 and you got this.
I was a surrogate from friends and carried twins (in my contract there was a bonus for carrying twins too). You are correct, it is quite expensive in the US. It was quite a tiring experience. You guys do what works for you... I just hope it all comes together for you guys.
It’s an expensive process! Do what makes you both comfortable. It’s not our decision. We are here for support. 🥰✌️
Wow i definitely did not realize you're 5years into this journey. God bless you both. Wow just wow❤
You always have the best attitude and outlook, even when there are bumps in the road. I am sure this is hard, and hopefully the days ahead become easier and you have success with this process. Much love to you both! ♥️
I had a friend who works in a major US corporation (not a tech company in California). She was very fortunate to have a company who is very committed about recruiting and retaining women in leadership positions. They paid the full cost of her surrogacy. Twice. One surrogacy costs $300K in US. Maybe you need to work for a company that can at least help subsidize family planning. Some companies also cover IVF treatments.
I ask the Angels that you two have a most benevolent outcome having your own children. Thank you❤❤❤❤❤
I feel for you all...remember your life will still be meaningful and wonderful even if you can never have a child. Of course don't give up but remember you will still have a wonderful life
Love that you are so compassionate and empathetic with everyone and wanting all those suffering to feel seen and heard and validated! ❤
Love watching you two. Praying for you and this journey but I love your mindset. I am the proud mama of 2 IVF girls so I know what the process is like and it’s a lot. I didn’t do it with an audience so I’m sure that makes it way harder. Keep on keeping on like you are and I’m sure your baby will be here before we know it. Sending you all the baby dust I can! ❤
I had endometriosis and had several surgeries and procedures for cysts and complications and 50 percent damage to the female organs and was told I needed a hysterectomy by the age of 19 and I put my faith in God and had two children after that and although the hysterectomy came at the age of 27 it was worth everything I went through .Believe and trust in the Lord and his plan for your lives, not the ways of man .Not my will, but his will on earth as it is in heaven
First of all, thank you for your transparency. While it's hard, I'm glad to see that so many more people are being open about their fertility struggles so people don't need to feel as alone on the journey.
I don't have personal experience as I'm not yet in the process of trying to start a family, but a good friend from school opted for independent surrogacy back in 2017-18 and it was fascinating following the blog that she and the surrogate kept along the way. Recently she started doing surrogacy consulting for people interested in going the independent route but wanting some level of guidance. If you're curious to even just take a look at her website (and/or the blog mentioned earlier) and maybe ask a couple questions if anything comes to mind, I'd be happy to share it (preferably in a message rather than publicly).
You don’t need to. Be patient! This is me telling an Italian to be patient…
Lol, yeah right. I'm Italian, patience is not in our vocabulary! 😂
Oh, is that why I am impatient. 🤣🤣🤣
I love that you share your journey and information because it could be helpful to those watching. I wish you the best! 😊🐦
Amen everyones feelings are valid. I will pray God gives you confidence in Him
Prayers and good thoughts for you both as always. I struggling myself with infertility for the last 18 months. It’s a long journey. ❤
You have such a lovely spirit between you. It sounds to me that you trust your medical team and are happy with your current working plan. I have not faced this challenge but I do live with a challenging situation as a carer for a young person. Sometimes things are so difficult and complex that it seems they will never work out and then sometimes, against the odds, and when you are not even expecting it, they do. With sincere best wishes and prayers. ❤
I love the message- “always up!” I’m rooting for you guys!
God bless you both. I am sorry you are dealing with all of this. x
Please people, don’t say just adopt! It’s the worst thing to say to someone in the trenches of IVF. It’s far more complicated just like surrogacy is too
AGREED!
I get that but from someone who needs a donor egg, the cost/ time/ emotional turmoil of going through that and IVF, it’s comforting to know there is a different option. If you want to be a parent- it doesn’t matter if the child is yours biologically. If that’s the only reason, I think it might be worth asking your self some serious questions.
Nope. People need to tell the truth. Ivf is unhealthy, it’s wicked too, it prays on women’s obsessions and shames, it rarely works. Surrogacy is a million times more unethical. We can’t just spare feelings and create a handmaiden society.
Women who are infertile need health support, ivf is not healthy, and mental counseling for when they get obsessed, they don’t need enabling of their obsession.
We also need the truth, endometriosis is passed down at like a 50% rate, why are we so desperate to pass down these inferior genes to children? You can’t genetically test for endo, they test for other abnormalities but not that. It’s insane.
@@GaserBeam-hi4ezHow is it unhealthy?
@@ChaquetaB greatly raises risk of cancers: breast, uterine, ovarian. Risks of ivf I can recall off the top of my head: cancer, ovarian cysts, ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome, ectopic pregnancy, uterine infection, birth defects like heart disease and gastro malformation, premature birth, problems with giving birth because of damaged to cervix and uterus, hormonal issues, ovarian torsion, not to mention headaches, feeling very ill for months before a pregnancy, etc etc
Also, it’s pretty unsuccessful. Women under 30 have a success rate of 30% with ivf, and women over from 10-20%. And this is with multiple tries, not per round. Also, many women go on to conceive naturally after ivf, 1 in 5! Not because ivf, despite it.
Not to mention all the unique human beings being killed during ivf
I’m praying for y’all. For sure ❤ I keep asking the Lord to give you a baby. My husband and I used Nashville Fertility Center - my doctor was Dr. Weitzman. Do you have a sister in your families for surrogacy? I can’t stand endometriosis. I have had it since my cycles started. I fear my daughter has it now. It’s terrible. 😢 They don’t know what causes it. I hope they find a cure. Y’all are so adorable together. The love is so palpable through the screen that you two have for one another. ❤ How amazing is it you have so many souls supporting your journey. Much love for you both 🫶
Jessie and Alessio, I don’t know you and don’t need to know you, but you two would make amazing parents and I would be your surrogate free of charge and with papers all drawn up.
You two deserve this!
Stay positive
I had two embroys and the first one took. Wishing you two the absolute best
Well good for you guys to keep trying you have to do what’s best for you !! I understand having your own child of course that’s the first option but you’ll see when the time is right a child is a child and that’s all you want & adoption is also a wonderful option
My only child was stillborn. It was heartbreaking> but it does happen. A full life can be had. Good luck. Love y’all.❤
Life steps, indeed…
❤❤❤
I’m so sorry that this process is so hard to manage. I sincerely hope that this works for you. It’s hurts my heart when good people struggle for children ❤
I couldn’t think of two more deserving parents than you both. We just love you, no matter what you choose to do. There could never be a more loved child. I am praying for you.
I am blessed enough to have my two beautiful girls through adoption - my heart breaks for you guys, but families can be created in other ways. Hugs!
I am so sorry you are going through this. Sending you all the good vibes ❤❤️🩹 🫂
🙏❤️ Whatever you both decide is best for you. Such a long journey. Blessings to you both. So glad to see you feeling better Jessi, continued prayers 🙏🤗
Hey Jessie and Alessio,
Blessings and prayers for your journey.❤ Lately my prayers have been answered...so I hope my prayers for you...help you as well. 🙏🏻❤
In the uk surrogacy is legal and altruistic so they can only claim reasonable expenses which is usually £12000-£20000. Plus pay for their medical bills for various tests and implantation but then the rest of the pregnancy would be covered on the nhs. Then you have to pay lawyers for a parental order so the child is legally yours.
I’m having to have a child through surrogacy and we are going to start trying with my sister being my surrogate at the end of the year. We have 4 embryos from a donor egg (unfortunately I don’t even have any eggs and retrieving eggs would be too dangerous for me because I have a heart condition so it would be too dangerous to be pregnant as well.). Watching this video made me very thankful I live in the uk.
I hope you have success with your fertility journey..❤
Very important is to try a diet that can help her with the endometriosis. I followed several diets until I was able to get pregnant. Finally, at age 40, after so many years trying I delivered a healthy boy.
Ewwww why so old?!
OMG Should I cry or laugh about your reply? Naaa. Laughing is better. Keep it positive
@@marianajeraI had my last baby at 41. She can cry harder about it 👍😂
God bless wherever this journey takes you guys. You deserve to be parents and i pray God blesses you with a baby❤❤❤
I don’t have advice, just encouraging words that you have a community that has fallen in love with you and we are here thinking, some praying and others just wishing the best for you. Just know that you are not alone.
Wish you the best! Praying for good news!❤
God Bless you both, hopefully you will blessed with what you want 🙏 ✝️🙏✝️🙏✝️
I am praying for you guys to be able to have a baby ! I watch every video and am supportive !
thank you lot for sharing. so sorry that so many people have audacity to ask and push for "new better options"
it is your way and i for sure you are doing that best for you and your family.
all the best luck!!!! waiting for a good news)))
I just found you guys, and I don’t know if you are living in Italy, or US. But I know I read that Surrogacy is illegal in Italy.
But yeah, surrogacy is super pricy! I think you two are a wonderful couple, and I support your decision no matter what you guys choose to do. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.♥️
Most countries have banned surrogacy for ethical reasons. The US isn’t exactly known for being very ethical when it comes to medicine. The US is also one of the only countries in the world that allows public advertising for pharmaceutical drugs like anti-depressants for example
Anyway, I pray IVF works out for them ❤️ they deserve it!!!
I suffered years and years of infertility before and in between my children. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this, it’s heartbreaking 💔
I’m so glad that you’ve decided not to go down the surrogacy route. Women’s bodies should not be for hire. The plight of vulnerable women to be surrogates in some countries is soul destroying.
❤❤❤ I hope everything works out for you guys!
This journey you guys are going through is going to help many people. That would be on take of that❤️❤️
I think it depends on how much a family means to you.
It sounds like a lot!
If both of you are both on the same page then sure!
Do what makes you happy!
I'm sorry you two are dealing with this great difficulty. I have maybe left 1 or 2 comments in the past on your foodie adventures, but I want to tell you I consider those productions the very best of the genre.
If the FET in Italy does not work, do embryo banking with another cycle in the US. A surrogate is a great option IF you have uterine issues, but if you don't and can carry a baby, then don't. But I would suggest doing embryo banking with PGT testing so that any embryos made are tested so you're not transfering blindly, you're transfering chromosomally normal embryos. Given your age, you should try to bank 6-8 embryos that are normal, so do one or two retrievals (depending on how many embryos you get first retrieval)....that way you have enough embryos for a pregnancy, and embryos made at your age now, not in 1-3 years later when you want another baby (if you want more than one baby). There are very good, reasonably priced clinics in the US who don't have the crazy overhead expenses of the east or west coast cities, or the middle big cities.
Praying for y’all. So much on your plate … which way to go. ❤❤🙏🙏
So, we did this. It is not easy, it took three years to find the right carrier. The total cost was $150K fifteen years ago. But, if all else fails, you can still have your own genetic children. Whatever road you take, I hope you end up with the family you want.
I can't wait for you to tell us your little one is on the way. Wishing you the very best.
Only you can decide what is right for you! Whatever you decide we still will be here supporting both of you. Your love for each other and your faith in God will see you through everything.
I don’t know what’s worse I could get pregnant but lost 5 and my son was born at 6-8 weeks early and only 3% chance of living. He’s 48 now. My mom took DES when she was pregnant with me and I had juvenile size uterus and was T shaped.
Adoption is a beautiful choice
Absolutely! There are so many children in need of loving parents. I know of a couple where one parent is from the US and the other from a European country, and they adopted an infant from a third country. So their family is global and very happy. In addition, there are many resources where families bond with others who have also adopted children and they support one another, share holidays, and expand their relationships.
Cheering you on whatever you decide!
You two do you. As I told my children babies are babies. It doesn't matter if they're surrogates, adoptive or anything else. As long as you love them its all good.
Do what your heart feels. It is your business. We adopted, and fostered. Endometriosis can be traumatic suffering.
Sending love to both of you! I'm praying that one of the options will work for you! ❤❤❤
Everything will be ok this year! Prayers!!!!!!!
Y’all are married… whatever you guys decide IS what is right for your family.
No, some things just aren’t right. And purchasing women’s bodies, especially while putting their health at risk, is never right.
I’m so sorry, I am praying that you will be able to carry your own babies, you and Allesio would make incredible parents. God Bless you ! ❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏
It's also illegal in Italy as they mentioned and Italian citizens residing abroad have had difficulty registering their surrogacy - born children (born abroad) as Italian citizens.
Continued prayers for you both on this journey. 🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻
I love watching you two on TH-cam😊 Prayers from TN 💖💖💖
Gestational Carriers are 😇. So many details. There is definitely a financial barrier for most to consider GC. just like the barriers for other ways to become parents. Best of luck considering all of your options.
In society: Surrogates are angels, but prostitutes devils. Such bs. Selling women’s bodies is never okay. It’s bad for women, increases their cancer risks, can wreck their body, and bad for babies.
Women’s bodies should not be for hire.
4:36 Look up Allie Beth Stuckey's interviews on surrogacy.
We have looked into surrogacy. In California it would be $120,000 for someone through an agency. It’s expensive and not a slam dunk. We are saving for it. But it’s so great that you guys have embryos! So much struggle to get those, you got half the battle down!
Very hard decision to make. My friend was surrogate mother 2x and about to do 3rd one, after which she said she will be done. She had very good experience with the whole process. And yes, the lawyer does go over a very lengthly paperwork. I hope you had a family member in US willing to do this. I had no idea it was this expensive. My sisters had multiple miscarriages, so I can understand the pain. Hold in there, hopefully a solution comes! Wishing you all the best! ❤
From what I understand adoption is an easier process, at least that’s how it’s been for one of my friends. She fostered one child, and then adopted her. The same woman got pregnant again with the same father and now she has two little girls. She’s also by the way doing this by herself. you have to do what makes you happy. But, also know that there are other choices out there.❤❤❤❤
I will pray for you both. Try to stay optimistic. Babies usually happen when you stop stressing. I hope your health gets better so you both can have your baby.