Fun fact!! Coloring or doing a puzzle is also considered meditation! Meditation is any activity that quiets the train of thoughts and makes you more alert about the present.
After experimenting a lot I found the only morning routine that works for me: sleeping. Just sleep until 5 minutes before whatever I need to do always makes feel better than sleeping less.
Love this, I've tried journaling and meditating for YEARS and every time, I will do it for maybe 3 days before the novelty wears off and it becomes a chore I resent. I'm going to get a puzzle.
😂. See and I’m the complete opposite. I absolutely love journaling. I’d hate puzzles. For me it was pick up a good book. Nope. I like to write my own story. I maybe got through half a chapter of several books and realized reading isn’t for me.
Being near the end of my very difficult pregnancy, I've thrown habits out the window. I've just turned to "focuses:" I focus of eating well, I focus on getting rest, I focus on what my body is telling me what I need. This had helped me be so much healthier than doing my habits.
I just love how this is a real person real life video of someone not pushing an intense lifestyle that requires a person to get up at 3am. Also love the mess on the floor 🙌🏻
The one thing I absolutely love is the realness of this. The amount of times I've tried meditating, journaling, have the 'perfect 10 step' morning routine and every time I just felt time was being taken away from me for something that wasn't working. Now I've just put little things in place that make a difference. Such as at nighttime, I have an 'unwind' playlist which is filled with relaxing video game music and I play it while I read a book or I'm on my phone before I go to sleep. Nothing I ever thought I would do but has helped immensely with switching off my brain.
Thank you for sharing this! Your unwind playlist idea sounds lovely 😌. Sometimes we just need to make little adjustments that feel natural and don’t add extra pressure to help switch our brains off, rather than forcing an unnatural habit just because it's "supposed to help." Anyways, I’m so glad you’ve found something that helps you switch off. Thanks so much for watching!
Yeah plus is you ban screen time in the morning you’re probably gonna be anxious & thinking about what notifications are on your phone like if there’s important emails you need to see
The problem is that these practices are sold to us as magical fixes to all of our problems when they absolutely are not. Influencers tell you that this stuff will CHANGE YOUR LIFE OVERNIGHT because their videos pop off better in the algorithm when they're selling you the fantasy you're desperate to believe. Many of these practices are things you have to stick with over months and even years if you want to get something out of them and they absolutely will not make all your problems just go away no matter how long you do them. We want these things to fix our problems because we're desperate to escape ourselves. What if the solution wasn't to escape your problems, but rather it's to just sit with your darkness and your pain and allow these parts of yourself to just be? Meditation isn't powerful because it forces you to stop feeling bad. It's powerful because it forces you to sit with the bad feeling and witness it without trying to change it or make it go away. Paradoxically, when we stop trying to force our bad feelings to go away, we can watch them and realize how temporary they all are. You feel scared and sad and you sit with that feeling and then it shifts and you feel something else. I journal every day and watch myself as my feelings and moods constantly shift. One day I show up to my journal with all this pain and anger and self hatred, and the next day I show up with lightness and love for myself. All my feelings are part of me and none of them are "bad" like I used to think, they're just part of the experience of being human. The more I let my painful feelings just be what they are without trying to fix them or make them go away, the greater capacity I develop to love those dark and painful parts of myself. They're just wounded parts of me calling out for love. They're not trying to hurt me they're trying to keep me safe. I'm done trying to fix myself. My new goal is simply to witness all the parts of myself with love and acceptance. I find that a much more grounded and peaceful way to live than constantly chasing something to fix me.
This really speaks to me, I think I've come to the same conclusion. I'm just in a space now where I can face reality head on and decide what to do with the information that is given to me, without trying to pretend that things are different. But it took me a long time to get there. The 'I'm a millionaire' manifestations did not work, while the 'I speak lovingly and kindly to myself' ones did work and have changed my inner voice to be compassionate, rather than letting me tear myself down. I'm fully capable of recognising my bad feelings now, and by being present, I was able to befriend them and when they are heard and seen, they don't tend to linger and fester. Journalling is an amazing tool for that.
This is so true! You'll never be able to get rid of 'bad' emotions and that's not what these habits can do. They help with being present and regulating your emotions, which means you are able to feel your feelings but not be overwhelmed by them.
This state of being is my goal. Not there yet, still in the beginning of my journey. But seeing others get there gives me hope so thank you so much for sharing this ❤
this is consistent with the internal family systems approach in therapy , it’s a super interesting way to think abt things , if u’re interested there’s a book called “ no bad parts “ on the topic :+)
I am on a self growth/discovery journey and I have been trying EVERYTHING for three months and I feel overwhelmed with "advice" and how to live my life to feel more peaceful and my anxiety has never been higher. This absolutely helps me with ways to better align what I want with how I live. Thank you so much for the honesty and suggestions.
A widely suggested tip that actually sabotages my own progress is outside accountability. Ive tried so many times to ask a friend to hold me accountable for a goal, or posting my progress online, and all it seems to do is drain me of my motivation. Im an introvert, and being forced to interact with people or the threat of DISAPOINTING those people was so bad, it made me avoid the whole project altogether. What I've found works better for me, is keeping my goals a fun secret. It works like a charm. No pressure, no social anxiety, nobody asking things that are none of their business. Just me, bettering myself behind closed doors. I've actually made a 2 month streak on duolingo so far, and nobody even knows. Its so motivating to imagine one day someone saying "I didn't know you spoke this language!" 😊
Me sitting here coloring as I watch this video🫣🤭 also on the supplement thing- I learned in med school that a lot of supplements just lead to “expensive pee” meaning your body doesn’t actually do anything with the supplement… it just gets rid of it.
instant sub for how real you are. omg this was the EXACT breath of fresh air in the self help youtube space i was looking for. I was just complaining to some friends about how I keep getting recommended videos of the grindset/CEO BS morning routines. no joke the last vid I started to watch, the guy said "I work 12 hours a day, work out every day, and get up at 5am and it's not even hard after I changed my mindset". Super sick of toxic productivity. I really appreciated your flexible approach - I struggle so hard with morning routines because I can't stick to them to save my life. I'm going to try out a morning menu instead, love that idea!
@@morganevelyncookI also wanted to thank you for putting content that’s relatable and inspiring. I’ve only watched a few of your videos so I’m sorry if you’ve already said this but are you vegetarian?
What worked best for me: actually being diagnosed and treated for my ADHD and anxiety! But more generally, taking my dog for walks and enjoying nature, crochet/knitting, cleaning, and identifying what physical discomforts I can solve/blame for why I feel bad (e.g. have I eaten today? No? Let’s see if I feel better after that). I am trying to start journaling because I find I have a very poor concept of time and if I don’t keep track of things that have happened it all starts to feel like a meaningless void and I’m wasting my life.
I really love this because it makes me feel like I'm not doing everything wrong. when I feel like I HAVE to jornal or excercise or meditate it makes me feel like shit when I'm not doing these things. but you're so right about having a "menu" and doing what's right for you. I can never be that person with a morning routine and that doesn't mean that I'm living life wrong. your video was very validating in that sense. obviously I'm still trying to live a healthy lifestyle but I have to go at my own pace and do things that work for me
The "Serotonin Hub" literally made me gasp. What a great idea. I don't really go in for affirmations, but the act of memorializing all of the nice moments is so mindful and positive. Thank you for sharing!
Instead of no screen time i turn my phone into gray scale it just takes the interest away scrolling but I can still journal listen to music and whatever else i think benifts me more than scrolling. I implemented your morning menu system a couple weeks ago and it was honestly life changing! I then impemented day menus and night menus ahahah
I have a relax mode that I can turn on that blocks access (temporarily) to any apps I choose. So I set it to allow things like music, reading, journaling/notes, etc and blocks access to internet, social media, etc to prevent doom scrolling.
Super relatable! My favorite form of meditation is doing yoga, as I can still focus on my breathing and how my body is feeling (bit like a body scan) and it feels like a really loving thing to do for myself. The scrapbook journal is something I just decided I wanted to try doing, and now you are talking about it in this video, so that feels like confirmation!!
Being recently diagnosed with ADHD and dealing with disabling chronic illness for over 20 years now, virtually NONE of the standard self help stuff actually works for me. Affirmations, don't even get me started... My brain IMMEDIATELY says "NOPE! UNTRUE!" Trying affirmations actually made my mental health so much worse! I found some articles online that talked about some scientific studies done that showed that affirmations only benefit those who already have high self esteem. They can backfire for those with lower self esteem and/or trauma. That was so validating, cause all the affirmations and meditations made me feel so much worse and everyone just said I wasn't doing it right. 🙄 Nope, they just don't work if you have trauma or are neurodivergent. Hi, that's me... I started doing word searches and that really helps me. I have a double whammy that too much mental effort/exertion can flare my chronic stuff, so I have to be careful. Oh, guess what meditation is! Mental exertion, even though most people don't want to acknowledge that it is. So I was making myself so much worse trying to force myself to do meditation consistently! Another one was gratitude journaling. 🤢 I tried it and it made me feel worse because things aren't so bad so why am I feeling crappy? What works for me is an alternate form of gratitude journaling. I do it once weekly, NOT daily. I start by listing out what sucked this week. Then I list a few things of something good/gratitude. I also am trying to list something fun this week. I'm trying to incorporate more fun into my life. So this is a little reminder for me. But I NEED to list out the weekly suckies first or else the gratitude feels forced and fake. Morning routines... The biggest recommendation is to get up early/earlier. Yeah, no. My body absolutely physically rebels and gets worse if I get up early. Complete no-go. I really like the idea of a morning menu, having options rather than requirements. Also been told it was all in my head to then eventually be diagnosed with multiple ACTUAL physical chronic health issues including an autoimmune issue and a genetic mutation, among multiple other things. I'm a supplement queen but on the recommendation of my doctor and nutritionist, specifically for my chronic health issues. For the average mostly healthy person, a multivitamin, vitamin D, and maybe magnesium are mostly what's beneficial.
I've been working on affirmations with my psycologist. What we do is to take a negative thought of mine (I have depression, so negative thoughts are very negative) and try to find an affirmation that's neutral, something that I can't argue that is untrue but in comparison with my original thought is positive. For example, let's say you have a job interview. If your original thought is samething like: "I'm going to the worst interview ever, the interviewer in going to laugh at me, and I'm not going to get this job or any job". If you try to be overly positive and have an affirmation like "I'm going to crash this interview and I'm going to get the job", that sounds fake and it's not going to make you feel better, on the contrary. But trying an affirmation in terms of " I'm don't know if I'm going to get this job because there's a lot of competition but I'm going to prepare this interview the best I can so I can have a better chance" it's different. You're not wishful thinking on getting something out of the blue, you're not denying the difficulties. It's about bringing your self from drama queen territory, to a more realistic realm.
i like this and i appreciate your take as a fellow disabled person. a LOT of self-help stuff out there is way too general and doesn't take into account things like disabilities, mental illnesses, and external stuff that might hinder your progress but is beyond your control. i get why it's so generalised, but there it also creates a sort of paradox where by trying to appeal to as many people as possible, it actually excludes an awful lot of them too. it also gets to a point where people kind of look down on you and assume you're not trying to help yourself or not doing it right, just because some of the common suggestions and products don't work on you as they might for people who don't have the same problems.
love this. a lot of self-care stuff i see online is people just wanting to sell you a product, rather than actually encouraging self-help (which doesn't surprise me, but still) and exploring options that work for you personally, so i'm happy seeing discussion about alternatives, and just some real talk that not all these things we see are miraculous fixes for everything, and some of them won't work at all for some of us. i'm especially glad you brought up the "morning menu" thing and i think i want to try that too. i'm auDHD with some mental disorders and i find it SO hard just getting out of bed, let alone carrying out a whole routine, because my energy and motivation vary so much day by day, and i tend to feel pretty bad about myself for having such difficulties. if i could lay out some options to pick from depending on how i feel, i think it'd be so much easier to cater to my specific needs for whatever day i'm having, and that's so much more helpful than just going "do this and that in this order every day" and expecting nothing less.
11:40 I do this too. On my work laptop I have a folder in my email with every email I get that has a compliment in it. It's my compliment folder and it helps when I feel insecure at work.
Never feel pressured to do something just because you hear it’s good because that’s defeating the whole purpose 1. Meditation/hypno- don’t really work for me, but they are actually 2 different different things 2. Self-help- I loved reading a variety because I was able to learn a lot and try different things and got what I needed, I’m now more selective. I rather watch fiction, which I don’t do that often 3. Screentime- overall is not an issue for me, I do it when I need and want to 4. Affirmations- not a big fan, a lot of times they are fake helping ppl. If you are going to do them, I suggest it’s something about your capabilities or values, not just something hyping you up 5. Journaling- it has been huge for me, but I don’t force it or have a routine, I write when I feel compelled; I have a life one and positive one 6. Mornings- I like the menu thing. For me I do things if I feel like it, I don’t if I don’t feel like it 7. Supplements- I only take things that I know help me based on how I feel or improved numbers and do not harm me and are generally low risk
I have a love hate relationship with meditation: when I try to do it during the day it actually won't do anything or even make my anxiety worse. But at night, mindfulness and focusing on my breath and counting number (and breath exercises to calm down my parasympathetic nervous system) is the only way I can actually fall asleep (even with meds). Because they make me focus on something that isn't mental taxing and will prevent my racing thoughts for long enough to make me fall asleep
I suffer from mental illnesses for the last 20ish years (yay). Always thought I did affirmations wrong cause it did nothing for me. Nowadays, affirmations just feel like pressure for me, like "I manifest to be ok" - yeah, so YOU BETTER GET THE EFFORT IN OR ELSE. Nope, not for me 🙈🙈
Manifesting and repeating affirmations makes sense to me in theory, like I understand that if we say something often enough, our brains will try to believe it. So I started intentionally correcting my negative self talk, say from "oh I’m stupid" to "oh, I've made a (silly) mistake" etc. However, repeatedly telling myself things that are objectively untrue (at this moment in time, no matter if they Will be true at some point), e.g. "I am a successful person", "I will reach x goal"… just makes me feel like I’m lying. It felt like I was dismissing all of my (reasonable) doubts about my situation and my future, given that I was and still am not sure what way I want my life to go.
Yep - totally relate to that! Correcting negative self talk is definitely important and valid, but the "manifesting" side of affirmations is lost on me. Like you said, it feels like I'm just lying. I'd rather use the positivity and momentum from concrete feedback and past accomplishments to give me the energy to keep working toward my goals, if that makes sense? haha. But regardless, everyone is different, and I'm glad you've figured out what works for you! Thanks for watching 💛
THANK YOUUUUUUU, my mom is a big meditation person and has tried to get me into it many many times, but honestly I don't need to sit quietly I need to go to the gym to punch my problems into a boxing bag.
On the supplement point: I have a liver disorder and have to watch what I consume because of it, and alongside the obvious like alcohol and pain killers, I have to avoid a BUNCH of supplements because they're potentially horrible for your liver! Most notably being ashwagandha, aloe vera, and protein powder, especially whey. Those are super common supplements that people eat a lot of! 😵
For the screen time thing, I’m the same way. I found I would rush through journaling just to get on technology faster. What I do instead is kinda like what you do, intentional screen time. I have a mood tracking app I log, journal in xTiles, and watch TH-cam videos like this one to start off the day.
I do the same thing with routines (renaming them) because it makes it WAY easier to remember for me. I use gaming terms/things I’ve seen in videogames due to being a huge gamer all my life; “supply run” for food shopping and “inventory restock” for household/etc. shopping, and I found a DnD-themed notepad that I plan to use to track “daily quests” aka general things I do every week. I even have a a Spotify playlist for relaxation called “Save Point” xD
Ah I love that hahah. I bet that makes chores feel a little less "chore-like" too since your brain is associating them with something you really enjoy!
I’ve been trying to have intentional screen time, too. One thing that really helps is if I have a specific TH-cam video I plan on watching (or article I want to read, etc.), I’ll put it as a bookmark on my web browser so it’s right in front of my face. If I just go on TH-cam with the intention to search up the video, chances are I’ll get distracted. If you have an iPhone doing this with the Apple Shortcuts app is great, too, since you can keep the link to something on your home screen!
I love that tip! I have the same issue, if I open my phone with the intent on going to a specific video or app, I always end up somewhere else, so having things bookmarked and ready to go is ideal!
I also really enjoy puzzles and colouring as a "mindful" exercise. Another this that works for me is to go for walks. Sometimes it's long 1 hour walks, sometimes just a 5-10 min walk, depending on my time, mood and needs. It helps me clear my head if I have a lot going on and can't really make sense of any of it 😊
I loved seeing this; it’s so nice to know that these things don’t always work for everyone and you might need to tweak things for yourself. You and I are on a very similar wavelength about this. A lot of ‘life changing’ habits just wind up increasing my anxiety. Thanks for this and have a great day!
I discovered you this morning and just loved this video. I watched another one of yours and have subscribed. I hardly ever subscribe to anyone because they don't feel 'real'. I just love your honesty and your relatability and you don't make me feel guilty. I love love love your menu idea. Thank you.
I've never seen anyone talking about this! I've always felt like a failure because meditating/journaling never worked for me I've always thought with myself "girl, you can't even write down everyday what you did that day!!!" Thanks for sharing this
You are a freaking riot. Also, great honest take on these life hacks. I appreciate that you explained exactly why they didn't work, and, most importantly, give an alternative.
I just found you on social media, so naturally I’m binging all of your videos, and I’ve never felt more seen and understood. Love your content and today was the first low anxious day I’ve had in a while and your videos have definitely helped with that
How am I just now finding your channel?! As a fellow anxious introvert, so much of everything you say resonates with me. Your videos make me feel less crazy. Your videos make me feel less alone. I also find them entertaining, charming and useful. Thank you for taking the time and effort to have a channel. I appreciate you. Also, please tell Goose that I’m really glad he protected you both from that vacuum guy. Well done, Goose.
this is so helpful! love your vids! you got me out of a bad depression cycle, so I'm really grateful for that. love you chat and chores, series, really gets me moving.
Thank you so much! This really got me in my feels - as someone who has been in depression cycles, I know how hard it can be to get out of them and the fact that I played any part in helping you out of yours is SO rewarding for me and reminds me why I do this, so I really appreciate you sharing that. Thank you for watching 💛
Thank you for giving the people what they wanted and ensuring Goose was in the video. I like the idea of a scrapbook journal for memories. It also sounds more fun than regular journalling, which I remember doing once every few months. One simple habit that I need to do is eat something in the morning; it doesn't have to be right away, but it has to be before noon, and I have to drink water. I like the serotonin hub idea; for my everyday job, I list things/tasks I've accomplished to remind me that I do get things done, but for non-work things, I don't note any of that down to refer to. Like yesterday, I remembered how wonderful my mom was, how she pushed for me to get an education and get my current job and that I should be doing more for her, and then I remembered, wait a minute, I bought her a brand new car (she did not ask for but really needed) that I'm currently paying the loan for lol.
Goose always deserves some screen time haha. And I'm glad ya found the scrapbook journal and serotonin hub tips helpful! Scrapbook journaling has definitely proved to be more fun for me than regular journaling, and SO satisfying to have a whole year of pictures and anecdotes to look back on! Also, so amazing you bought your mom a car - she sounds like a lovely lady, and FWIW, I feel like a lot of people (myself included) feel like they aren't doing enough for their moms. It's hard to repay someone for giving you life haha, but I'm sure she appreciates everything you do more than you realize 💛
I definitely relate to your sentiment & I was turned off to almost all of these. But I actually came around to meditating when I found out the true purpose that it can have (quieting the constant thoughts), that there’s different types that target very different goals, & the true goal of it is very different & more achievable then what i had previously heard. My therapist really encouraged me to try & it when I learned a lot about it from the Andrew Huberman podcast that changed everything for me. The one that I need is interoceptive meditation or I suppose you can call it mindfulness. Whether you’re taking a walk or sitting somewhere you try to focus on the sounds & sensations around you. I needed this because I have adhd & I’ll literally scream at myself in my head to please just shut the fuck up lol I never stop thinking about crap. The game changer for me was also that achievement that “zen” that ppl talk about isn’t really the purpose of doing this. It’s essentially a re-focus exercise, where every time you catch yourself drifting in thought or forgetting to pay attention to your environment you try again. If you keep messing up & having to restart YOU’RE NOT DOING IT WRONG!! In fact that may be even more effective the more times you can catch yourself & refocus. He said that Buddhists aren’t always staying in the zone, they’re just soo good & refocusing their mind they can do it at such a quick moment it’s almost inconceivable. Another thing to note is that it isn’t always relaxing or enjoyable & that still doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong, again the goal is to refocus not necessarily be relaxed. Some days it can be harder to stay focused than others & be frustrating but that’s part of practicing it. He also said even 3 minutes of trying to every day is very effective. It’s supposed to help you in real life situations like catching yourself zoning out in a work meeting & getting back on track, & the more a person is noticing their environment rather than being in their own head, they’re much happier of a person. You can also focus on breathing & body sensations but that never worked for me, I just hate breathing exercises. I’m not good at consistency doing this habit yet but it’s still a goal, & when I go for walks it’s so easy to double it as a meditation walk which makes me present for the walk more & enjoy it! I just wanted to share since this information about meditation was so new & really changed it for me. And doing meditation with the goal of curing a medical illness seems dumb😂
Thanks for sharing ❤ I struggle with sticking to a routine so it’s nice to hear ideas for other things to try that might feel more realistic for my life. Also I 100% used your video to motivate myself to do some laundry while watching. Goose’s addition was very thought provoking as well.
A+ for the puzzle recommendation, even while watching TV. I do “easy” Soduko because they are still a teeny bit of a challenge while no possibility of getting to a place of frustation.
This video is actually super helpful! I love the “intentional scrolling” tip. Also please tell Goose thank you for his protection. We all feel safer knowing he’s on the job 👏🏻😂
I'm also a huge fan of "moving meditation." Easy repetative crafts or games like Tetris. It just helps me zen out without getting antsy/bored and I end up thinking and processing at the same time.
This is the first one of your videos I’ve seen, and it was sooooo relatable! I’ve wondered for years whether there was something wrong with me because the whole idea of standing in front of a mirror and saying affirmations just made me squirm, and even the thought of journaling sounds like a lot of hard work. Oh, and “switch off devices for at least an hour before bed” while at the same time saying “read, or colour, or listen to music”. All my books, colouring, and music are on my devices! I’m on the fence with meditations - I don’t hate them, but I don’t feel like they provide any benefit for me. But the idea of starting the day with a crossword puzzle - YES! And at 66yo I’m almost at the optimum age for it LOL. So THANK YOU for confirming that it’s not just me. My take-away from this video is that my morning/evening routines/menus should be whatever I darn well choose them to be, as long as they serve me.
Excellent advice, also things i learned the hard way when i legit had to google why therapy made me worse..well turns out it's not for everyone! I do coloring and i occasionally do puzzles and crosswords. I've liked that stuff since i was a kid, who knew it would also be therapeutic? Journalling has never worked for me either but I've always had a journal. So now i scrapbook and junk journal and make random lists that have no value except for my mental health ❤
This was great. I found similar things worked for me. It does help to concentrate on an activity to quiet the mind rather than meditate. I do crossword and jigsaw puzzles, too. The only thing on your list that I actually find helpful is stream of consciousness journaling. I found that by putting my thoughts on paper, it kind of helped them leave my head permanently. Like the thoughts were constantly swirling around, and then as soon as I wrote them down, they were gone. But yeah, a lot of stuff that is marketed to people doesn’t work for everyone. It makes sense. People are wired differently. Therefore, different things would work for them. You gotta find what works for you.
I’ve been an avid journal-er since I was 9, and in my experience the journaling is less “feeling zen” and a whole lot more bringing every emotion I was suppressing right up to the surface and feeling miserable. Anger, fear, sadness, allll processed at once😂 it definitely doesn’t calm me. But the recovery afterward does. I puzzle, I game, I read- something that takes my mind off my emotions and feelings and just lets me exist somewhere else. To me that’s what allows me to feel calmer/more free- because I’m not surprising and never addressing how I feel about things to myself, but I’m not trying to process huge emotions or trauma and go right into the rest of my day🤔 Ultimately, everyone is different and I’m glad you found a better alternative to you! Also as a frequent colorer and puzzler, it might surprise you that both of those are also considered a form of meditating! It’s called “active meditation”. It allows you to get into a flow of focus~ other examples are knitting (when you’re practiced) and for some people even exercising~
I am a teacher and leave for work at 7:00 am. I also live in the Chicago area and it is soooo cold right now. I agree with the morning and sometimes evening routines that I've seen posted on youtube. It seems like everything is very regimented. While this may work for some it doesn't for me. I am getting up 30 minutes earlier so I can stretch, actually eat something before going to work and it has helped. When you talked about puzzles it reminded me of when I taught preschool. I loved doing puzzles with my students! Preschool is Zen for children. You play, learn how to get along with others, so many other amazing activities and you get a nap time. If only I could go back, just for a couple of weeks and not as a teacher.
Love this perspective on all the self-help/care recommendations that flood the internet. My main take away from your video is to be willing to try different habits/activities that interest you, or even try to be creative and come up with your own activity, but only stick with the ones YOU personally feel/see positive results from. Just because one influencer said this "thing" is what did it all for them doesn't mean its the best for you. Thank you for sharing ❤ I will be breaking out a puzzle this weekend in your honor!
my fav spiritual teacher says the best way to meditate is to dance which i completely agree with as someone who is adhd and has a very hard time sitting still in one place for long.
Saaame with jigsaws, I love them :D Regarding affirmations, I also get no positive thoughts from just randomly telling myself i'm smart and beautiful. What works for me instead is, when my mind starts throwing negative thoughts at me i go whoa whoa stop... and then try to find a positive retort. Sort of, I wouldn't speak like this to my friend so why I am i speaking like this to me, way.
This was a great video to watch as we approach the new year! Something that works for me is junk journaling when i want to and not having a daily quota/ or feeling like i have to. Also I like the idea of a morning menu! Thank you for sharing that 😊
As a pharmacist your last point was the best! Also, for the meditation point, the author Tamora Pierce has a series where to do magic you have to be able to meditate to help control it. Some of the characters are able to meditate by sitting and breathing and others meditate by doing other things that calm them and allow them to focus. One does yarn spinning and another does simple sparring exercises. That was just so cool to me and really helped me understand that meditation can look different and it’s okay that I can’t just sit still and breathe. I also enjoy doing puzzles instead or going for walks when the weather is nice :-)
5:32 i will say, i think Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is a self help book worth reading, even if you don’t think the title applies, it covers the broader topic of emotional maturity in an applicable and actionable way and genuinely has changed the way i process my emotions and think about the relationships in my life.
Thank you for introducing me to a way for me to actually clean, like I have something interesting to listen to while also you’re cleaning so for some reason it’s a lot more motivating than just listening to someone talk while doing nothing
clicked on this video bc most of the typical "self-help"-type advice either doesn't work or doesn't stick. this turned out to be a really helpful video! the points re: meditation, journaling (specifically the why), and the morning menu have given me a lot to think about.
You may be doing this on purpose but watching you do chores allows me to mirror you. I find myself cleaning during your videos with very little prompting. Please don't stop!
My journals are event based. I write a journal entry when I finished reading book. I write in a different journal when Christmas is over. Another when I have an interesting dream. Another when I take a trip. Doing journals in this way is the ONLY way I've been able to do it consistently. And if I don't do any of those things for a while, that's fine. I just don't have any entries for that time period.
Goose needed the screen time to get credit from protecting you from the vacuum man!! This was super helpful! I've been going through a sort of habit/routine discovery thing, and this video is basically easy notes!! ❤
Thank you so much for this video!! Nothing popular I’ve tried (meditation, journaling, medication) has helped me. I never even thought about creating a “morning menu” until seeing this. Maybe now I can finally feel better about my mornings :,)
I love this so much. New subscriber! I agree with pretty much all of these. I meditated forever, and it honestly started making me more anxious. Also, do we have the same doctor? Everything gets pinned on my anxiety, so it's pointless for me to even go.
Definitely not broken! haha. There's just no blanket stress solution for the entirety of humanity is what I've learned. If something doesn't work for you (after giving it a good go), just try something else!
Okay I just happened to stumble across your account. This usually isn’t the type of media I consume but in SO HAPPY I clicked this video. You are so funny and I love your editing style. I also really appreciate you talking through what did and didn’t work for you because it’s honestly something I should think about more for myself
I love this video- as someone who also doesn’t like meditation or affirmations, it can get frustrating when this is always suggested by professionals and non-professionals alike. I think journaling every single day is pointless, as I feel Ike I’m just writing the same stuff everyday. Thanks for sharing what has and hadn’t worked for you!
I totally get that frustration-journaling every day feels the same way for me sometimes too! I’m so glad this video resonated with you and thanks for sharing your perspective 💛
OMG your video is amazing. Regular habits pretty much never worked for me or not in the way intended. But working WITH my brain made my life so much easier. I don't meditate, but I carve out specific time in the day to do a mindful cozy hobby. Routine too fancy doesn't work with me, but I love your idea of morning menus! Though for me it's more about evening menus 😂I love that! Great ideas here :)
Love the idea of intentional screen time in the morning and night. I tried giving up screens all together and I hated it 😅 Will definitely try reading a newsletter!
Strongly agree with not needing supplements! In fact, it's really weird to me how obsessed Americans are with them. It's getting to the point where people are preaching WATER isn't healthy enough and needs a load of artificial vitamins and supplements put into them to the point where it really isn't water anymore. Like, I am all for fruit in your water, that's cool, but I'm talking about powder stuff from jars. Water is literally the most healthy drink you can get, you really don't need all this powder stuff.
Love your video. I think you are my new favorite person. The sarcasm was top tier. This is from sarcasm queen to another. So glad I found your channel randomly at midnight on Monday 😆
Hey Morgan! I love your videos and they bring me so much calmness and as a fellow anxious person I relate to a lot of things you share and it makes life a bit easier for me :)) but as a person with pharmacology background I have to comment on what you said about supplements - yes the contents sometimes seem overshot but it is very rare that the whole content of the supplement would be absorbed by your body. For example, for magnesium if the supplement is in the form of magnesium oxide, the bioavailability is only 4% so even if you take a tablet with 500% of “the daily dose”, your body will actually get much less of it.. that being said, you also have micronutrients soluble in water (e.g. vitamin C) where if you have plenty you will just get rid of it in urine, but there are vitamins soluble in fats like Vitamin A which are actually more “dangerous” for overdose because they get stored in the body fat and can thus be harmful if you have too much. Nevertheless I totally agree that it’s best to have tests run by the doctor to see what deficiencies one has :)
Thiiiiis!! I love this video! I have a very similar story and I know I wouldn’t be the same person I am today without the person I *tried* to be through my 20s but the feeling of finally breaking away from all the noise and finding things that fit who I am is unrivaled.
This is my first video of yours and i truly resonate with the way your thoughts come out, I really appreciated what you had to say in this video and it makes me feel better about how my brain works
Have you ever tried Marie Condoo folding? You don't even have to follow her exact formula, sometimes I just roll the clothing up or fold it in different proportions because of the size of the garment, but it's so nice to be able to take out the piece you want without having to take it from underneath other pieces. Only if you've never given it a go.
New subscriber and I love your delivery. The Morning Menu is REVOLUTIONARY. I’ve also learned that some of these alternatives work better for me. If you get sick or crosswords, try Murdle. It’s a logic puzzle to solve a mystery. And each puzzle is part of an over arching story. Super fun.
YO it was so encouraging to hear you talk about all these things!! None of those work for me either, especially randomized self care books that make me feel like I have problems only the author knows how to fix and I feel so broken while reading it and lost 🥹😂 and I never get to a point with meditation where visualization or focus does anything for me.. and same with affirmations! The more I say something, the less I comprehend it 😂 Definitely loved this vid, can’t wait to see what else your channel has to offer!
I have tried most of these and they’ve been awful but affirmations I have figured out if you want them to be more effective to have a list of things that make you feel that way. So like, “I am beautiful” would have a list of ways to make it effective (I will take time to give myself a pressure point massage while washing my face, I will put a moisturizer on, I’ll shave, I’ll use lotion, etc.) and that has really worked for me
Journaling actually keeps you in your head. People with anxiety or depression should not journal, they should do something with their hands, preferrably something repetitive.
In theory, there isnt much of a difference between affirmations and positive self talk. But for me, an affirmation that ive already decided upon doesnt work because it feels ungrounded. If im struggling working on something and say out loud to myself "I can do hard things. I've done hard things before, and I can do this" it feels responsive to the moment, and that works for me.
Can you please make a video deeper into the “self help” books idea. I watch lots of “self help” youtube videos/podcasts and I felt so overwhelmed until I heard what you said because it made me realize how much I was overdoing it and “creating more problems” or things to “work on/consider”.
Fun fact!! Coloring or doing a puzzle is also considered meditation! Meditation is any activity that quiets the train of thoughts and makes you more alert about the present.
Playing with my cats counts then, nothing makes me more present than petting a being that doesn't overthink and just exist.
My zen is in a clean and calm environment. Cleaning no longer feels like a chore to me, it feels like self care.
For context, I am the daughter of a hoarder 😅. So this makes perfect sense for me.
i am very very slowly moving toward this mind frame too! Congrats on figuring it out :D
After experimenting a lot I found the only morning routine that works for me: sleeping. Just sleep until 5 minutes before whatever I need to do always makes feel better than sleeping less.
Love this, I've tried journaling and meditating for YEARS and every time, I will do it for maybe 3 days before the novelty wears off and it becomes a chore I resent. I'm going to get a puzzle.
Yep, exactly how it’s been for me too haha. And I will say I have yet to resent a puzzle, so definitely worth a shot!
good idea! I started embroidery because I hate to destroy puzzles, but I also have no wall space to hang them all up
Amen to it becoming a chore!!
😂. See and I’m the complete opposite. I absolutely love journaling. I’d hate puzzles. For me it was pick up a good book. Nope. I like to write my own story. I maybe got through half a chapter of several books and realized reading isn’t for me.
Being near the end of my very difficult pregnancy, I've thrown habits out the window. I've just turned to "focuses:" I focus of eating well, I focus on getting rest, I focus on what my body is telling me what I need. This had helped me be so much healthier than doing my habits.
Wishing you a safe delivery and a healthy baby! Congratulations!
I just love how this is a real person real life video of someone not pushing an intense lifestyle that requires a person to get up at 3am. Also love the mess on the floor 🙌🏻
The one thing I absolutely love is the realness of this. The amount of times I've tried meditating, journaling, have the 'perfect 10 step' morning routine and every time I just felt time was being taken away from me for something that wasn't working.
Now I've just put little things in place that make a difference. Such as at nighttime, I have an 'unwind' playlist which is filled with relaxing video game music and I play it while I read a book or I'm on my phone before I go to sleep. Nothing I ever thought I would do but has helped immensely with switching off my brain.
Thank you for sharing this! Your unwind playlist idea sounds lovely 😌. Sometimes we just need to make little adjustments that feel natural and don’t add extra pressure to help switch our brains off, rather than forcing an unnatural habit just because it's "supposed to help." Anyways, I’m so glad you’ve found something that helps you switch off. Thanks so much for watching!
Yeah plus is you ban screen time in the morning you’re probably gonna be anxious & thinking about what notifications are on your phone like if there’s important emails you need to see
The problem is that these practices are sold to us as magical fixes to all of our problems when they absolutely are not. Influencers tell you that this stuff will CHANGE YOUR LIFE OVERNIGHT because their videos pop off better in the algorithm when they're selling you the fantasy you're desperate to believe. Many of these practices are things you have to stick with over months and even years if you want to get something out of them and they absolutely will not make all your problems just go away no matter how long you do them.
We want these things to fix our problems because we're desperate to escape ourselves. What if the solution wasn't to escape your problems, but rather it's to just sit with your darkness and your pain and allow these parts of yourself to just be? Meditation isn't powerful because it forces you to stop feeling bad. It's powerful because it forces you to sit with the bad feeling and witness it without trying to change it or make it go away. Paradoxically, when we stop trying to force our bad feelings to go away, we can watch them and realize how temporary they all are. You feel scared and sad and you sit with that feeling and then it shifts and you feel something else.
I journal every day and watch myself as my feelings and moods constantly shift. One day I show up to my journal with all this pain and anger and self hatred, and the next day I show up with lightness and love for myself. All my feelings are part of me and none of them are "bad" like I used to think, they're just part of the experience of being human. The more I let my painful feelings just be what they are without trying to fix them or make them go away, the greater capacity I develop to love those dark and painful parts of myself. They're just wounded parts of me calling out for love. They're not trying to hurt me they're trying to keep me safe.
I'm done trying to fix myself. My new goal is simply to witness all the parts of myself with love and acceptance. I find that a much more grounded and peaceful way to live than constantly chasing something to fix me.
This really speaks to me, I think I've come to the same conclusion. I'm just in a space now where I can face reality head on and decide what to do with the information that is given to me, without trying to pretend that things are different. But it took me a long time to get there.
The 'I'm a millionaire' manifestations did not work, while the 'I speak lovingly and kindly to myself' ones did work and have changed my inner voice to be compassionate, rather than letting me tear myself down. I'm fully capable of recognising my bad feelings now, and by being present, I was able to befriend them and when they are heard and seen, they don't tend to linger and fester. Journalling is an amazing tool for that.
This is so true! You'll never be able to get rid of 'bad' emotions and that's not what these habits can do. They help with being present and regulating your emotions, which means you are able to feel your feelings but not be overwhelmed by them.
This state of being is my goal. Not there yet, still in the beginning of my journey. But seeing others get there gives me hope so thank you so much for sharing this ❤
this is consistent with the internal family systems approach in therapy , it’s a super interesting way to think abt things , if u’re interested there’s a book called “ no bad parts “ on the topic :+)
finally an actual video about this instead of just someone trying to sell me something, subscribed.
I am on a self growth/discovery journey and I have been trying EVERYTHING for three months and I feel overwhelmed with "advice" and how to live my life to feel more peaceful and my anxiety has never been higher. This absolutely helps me with ways to better align what I want with how I live. Thank you so much for the honesty and suggestions.
I’m so glad you found it helpful! Thanks so much for watching and wishing you the best on your self growth journey 💛
A widely suggested tip that actually sabotages my own progress is outside accountability. Ive tried so many times to ask a friend to hold me accountable for a goal, or posting my progress online, and all it seems to do is drain me of my motivation.
Im an introvert, and being forced to interact with people or the threat of DISAPOINTING those people was so bad, it made me avoid the whole project altogether.
What I've found works better for me, is keeping my goals a fun secret. It works like a charm. No pressure, no social anxiety, nobody asking things that are none of their business. Just me, bettering myself behind closed doors.
I've actually made a 2 month streak on duolingo so far, and nobody even knows. Its so motivating to imagine one day someone saying "I didn't know you spoke this language!" 😊
Me sitting here coloring as I watch this video🫣🤭 also on the supplement thing- I learned in med school that a lot of supplements just lead to “expensive pee” meaning your body doesn’t actually do anything with the supplement… it just gets rid of it.
instant sub for how real you are. omg this was the EXACT breath of fresh air in the self help youtube space i was looking for. I was just complaining to some friends about how I keep getting recommended videos of the grindset/CEO BS morning routines. no joke the last vid I started to watch, the guy said "I work 12 hours a day, work out every day, and get up at 5am and it's not even hard after I changed my mindset". Super sick of toxic productivity. I really appreciated your flexible approach - I struggle so hard with morning routines because I can't stick to them to save my life. I'm going to try out a morning menu instead, love that idea!
As a 23 year old trying to figure out life i find your advice and your channel really inspiring. Thank you for doing what you do💖
Aw you're so sweet - thank YOU so much for watching! I'm glad my content resonates with ya 💕
@@morganevelyncookI also wanted to thank you for putting content that’s relatable and inspiring. I’ve only watched a few of your videos so I’m sorry if you’ve already said this but are you vegetarian?
What worked best for me: actually being diagnosed and treated for my ADHD and anxiety! But more generally, taking my dog for walks and enjoying nature, crochet/knitting, cleaning, and identifying what physical discomforts I can solve/blame for why I feel bad (e.g. have I eaten today? No? Let’s see if I feel better after that). I am trying to start journaling because I find I have a very poor concept of time and if I don’t keep track of things that have happened it all starts to feel like a meaningless void and I’m wasting my life.
I really love this because it makes me feel like I'm not doing everything wrong. when I feel like I HAVE to jornal or excercise or meditate it makes me feel like shit when I'm not doing these things. but you're so right about having a "menu" and doing what's right for you. I can never be that person with a morning routine and that doesn't mean that I'm living life wrong. your video was very validating in that sense. obviously I'm still trying to live a healthy lifestyle but I have to go at my own pace and do things that work for me
I really like the idea of a menu instead of a set routine
The "Serotonin Hub" literally made me gasp. What a great idea. I don't really go in for affirmations, but the act of memorializing all of the nice moments is so mindful and positive. Thank you for sharing!
Instead of no screen time i turn my phone into gray scale it just takes the interest away scrolling but I can still journal listen to music and whatever else i think benifts me more than scrolling. I implemented your morning menu system a couple weeks ago and it was honestly life changing! I then impemented day menus and night menus ahahah
Yayyy, all the menus! Hahah. That’s a good tip about the phone too-didn’t even know you could turn it gray scale, I’ll have to look into that!
I have a relax mode that I can turn on that blocks access (temporarily) to any apps I choose. So I set it to allow things like music, reading, journaling/notes, etc and blocks access to internet, social media, etc to prevent doom scrolling.
A “morning menu” is actually genius. Why haven’t I thought of that 😭 great video !!!!
I'm glad ya like it!! And more importantly, I hope it helps! Thank you so much for watching 💛
Frrr tho
Super relatable! My favorite form of meditation is doing yoga, as I can still focus on my breathing and how my body is feeling (bit like a body scan) and it feels like a really loving thing to do for myself. The scrapbook journal is something I just decided I wanted to try doing, and now you are talking about it in this video, so that feels like confirmation!!
Being recently diagnosed with ADHD and dealing with disabling chronic illness for over 20 years now, virtually NONE of the standard self help stuff actually works for me. Affirmations, don't even get me started... My brain IMMEDIATELY says "NOPE! UNTRUE!" Trying affirmations actually made my mental health so much worse! I found some articles online that talked about some scientific studies done that showed that affirmations only benefit those who already have high self esteem. They can backfire for those with lower self esteem and/or trauma. That was so validating, cause all the affirmations and meditations made me feel so much worse and everyone just said I wasn't doing it right. 🙄 Nope, they just don't work if you have trauma or are neurodivergent. Hi, that's me...
I started doing word searches and that really helps me. I have a double whammy that too much mental effort/exertion can flare my chronic stuff, so I have to be careful. Oh, guess what meditation is! Mental exertion, even though most people don't want to acknowledge that it is. So I was making myself so much worse trying to force myself to do meditation consistently!
Another one was gratitude journaling. 🤢 I tried it and it made me feel worse because things aren't so bad so why am I feeling crappy? What works for me is an alternate form of gratitude journaling. I do it once weekly, NOT daily. I start by listing out what sucked this week. Then I list a few things of something good/gratitude. I also am trying to list something fun this week. I'm trying to incorporate more fun into my life. So this is a little reminder for me. But I NEED to list out the weekly suckies first or else the gratitude feels forced and fake.
Morning routines... The biggest recommendation is to get up early/earlier. Yeah, no. My body absolutely physically rebels and gets worse if I get up early. Complete no-go. I really like the idea of a morning menu, having options rather than requirements.
Also been told it was all in my head to then eventually be diagnosed with multiple ACTUAL physical chronic health issues including an autoimmune issue and a genetic mutation, among multiple other things.
I'm a supplement queen but on the recommendation of my doctor and nutritionist, specifically for my chronic health issues. For the average mostly healthy person, a multivitamin, vitamin D, and maybe magnesium are mostly what's beneficial.
I've been working on affirmations with my psycologist. What we do is to take a negative thought of mine (I have depression, so negative thoughts are very negative) and try to find an affirmation that's neutral, something that I can't argue that is untrue but in comparison with my original thought is positive.
For example, let's say you have a job interview. If your original thought is samething like: "I'm going to the worst interview ever, the interviewer in going to laugh at me, and I'm not going to get this job or any job". If you try to be overly positive and have an affirmation like "I'm going to crash this interview and I'm going to get the job", that sounds fake and it's not going to make you feel better, on the contrary. But trying an affirmation in terms of " I'm don't know if I'm going to get this job because there's a lot of competition but I'm going to prepare this interview the best I can so I can have a better chance" it's different.
You're not wishful thinking on getting something out of the blue, you're not denying the difficulties. It's about bringing your self from drama queen territory, to a more realistic realm.
i like this and i appreciate your take as a fellow disabled person. a LOT of self-help stuff out there is way too general and doesn't take into account things like disabilities, mental illnesses, and external stuff that might hinder your progress but is beyond your control. i get why it's so generalised, but there it also creates a sort of paradox where by trying to appeal to as many people as possible, it actually excludes an awful lot of them too. it also gets to a point where people kind of look down on you and assume you're not trying to help yourself or not doing it right, just because some of the common suggestions and products don't work on you as they might for people who don't have the same problems.
I love the "menu" over "routine." So refreshing.
love this. a lot of self-care stuff i see online is people just wanting to sell you a product, rather than actually encouraging self-help (which doesn't surprise me, but still) and exploring options that work for you personally, so i'm happy seeing discussion about alternatives, and just some real talk that not all these things we see are miraculous fixes for everything, and some of them won't work at all for some of us.
i'm especially glad you brought up the "morning menu" thing and i think i want to try that too. i'm auDHD with some mental disorders and i find it SO hard just getting out of bed, let alone carrying out a whole routine, because my energy and motivation vary so much day by day, and i tend to feel pretty bad about myself for having such difficulties. if i could lay out some options to pick from depending on how i feel, i think it'd be so much easier to cater to my specific needs for whatever day i'm having, and that's so much more helpful than just going "do this and that in this order every day" and expecting nothing less.
11:40 I do this too. On my work laptop I have a folder in my email with every email I get that has a compliment in it. It's my compliment folder and it helps when I feel insecure at work.
Never feel pressured to do something just because you hear it’s good because that’s defeating the whole purpose
1. Meditation/hypno- don’t really work for me, but they are actually 2 different different things
2. Self-help- I loved reading a variety because I was able to learn a lot and try different things and got what I needed, I’m now more selective. I rather watch fiction, which I don’t do that often
3. Screentime- overall is not an issue for me, I do it when I need and want to
4. Affirmations- not a big fan, a lot of times they are fake helping ppl. If you are going to do them, I suggest it’s something about your capabilities or values, not just something hyping you up
5. Journaling- it has been huge for me, but I don’t force it or have a routine, I write when I feel compelled; I have a life one and positive one
6. Mornings- I like the menu thing. For me I do things if I feel like it, I don’t if I don’t feel like it
7. Supplements- I only take things that I know help me based on how I feel or improved numbers and do not harm me and are generally low risk
I have a love hate relationship with meditation: when I try to do it during the day it actually won't do anything or even make my anxiety worse. But at night, mindfulness and focusing on my breath and counting number (and breath exercises to calm down my parasympathetic nervous system) is the only way I can actually fall asleep (even with meds). Because they make me focus on something that isn't mental taxing and will prevent my racing thoughts for long enough to make me fall asleep
I suffer from mental illnesses for the last 20ish years (yay). Always thought I did affirmations wrong cause it did nothing for me. Nowadays, affirmations just feel like pressure for me, like "I manifest to be ok" - yeah, so YOU BETTER GET THE EFFORT IN OR ELSE. Nope, not for me 🙈🙈
Manifesting and repeating affirmations makes sense to me in theory, like I understand that if we say something often enough, our brains will try to believe it. So I started intentionally correcting my negative self talk, say from "oh I’m stupid" to "oh, I've made a (silly) mistake" etc.
However, repeatedly telling myself things that are objectively untrue (at this moment in time, no matter if they Will be true at some point), e.g. "I am a successful person", "I will reach x goal"… just makes me feel like I’m lying. It felt like I was dismissing all of my (reasonable) doubts about my situation and my future, given that I was and still am not sure what way I want my life to go.
Yep - totally relate to that! Correcting negative self talk is definitely important and valid, but the "manifesting" side of affirmations is lost on me. Like you said, it feels like I'm just lying. I'd rather use the positivity and momentum from concrete feedback and past accomplishments to give me the energy to keep working toward my goals, if that makes sense? haha. But regardless, everyone is different, and I'm glad you've figured out what works for you! Thanks for watching 💛
THANK YOUUUUUUU, my mom is a big meditation person and has tried to get me into it many many times, but honestly I don't need to sit quietly I need to go to the gym to punch my problems into a boxing bag.
On the supplement point: I have a liver disorder and have to watch what I consume because of it, and alongside the obvious like alcohol and pain killers, I have to avoid a BUNCH of supplements because they're potentially horrible for your liver! Most notably being ashwagandha, aloe vera, and protein powder, especially whey. Those are super common supplements that people eat a lot of! 😵
For the screen time thing, I’m the same way. I found I would rush through journaling just to get on technology faster. What I do instead is kinda like what you do, intentional screen time. I have a mood tracking app I log, journal in xTiles, and watch TH-cam videos like this one to start off the day.
I hate affirmations, they feel like I try to gaslight or brainwash myself.
I do the same thing with routines (renaming them) because it makes it WAY easier to remember for me.
I use gaming terms/things I’ve seen in videogames due to being a huge gamer all my life; “supply run” for food shopping and “inventory restock” for household/etc. shopping, and I found a DnD-themed notepad that I plan to use to track “daily quests” aka general things I do every week.
I even have a a Spotify playlist for relaxation called “Save Point” xD
Ah I love that hahah. I bet that makes chores feel a little less "chore-like" too since your brain is associating them with something you really enjoy!
No, because this was so helpful, Affirmations really don't work for me and I never thought about screenshotting instead in a "serotonin hub" haha!
So glad you found that tip helpful! The screenshots really are great reminders - hope ya enjoy your own serotonin hub! 🤗
I’ve been trying to have intentional screen time, too. One thing that really helps is if I have a specific TH-cam video I plan on watching (or article I want to read, etc.), I’ll put it as a bookmark on my web browser so it’s right in front of my face. If I just go on TH-cam with the intention to search up the video, chances are I’ll get distracted. If you have an iPhone doing this with the Apple Shortcuts app is great, too, since you can keep the link to something on your home screen!
I love that tip! I have the same issue, if I open my phone with the intent on going to a specific video or app, I always end up somewhere else, so having things bookmarked and ready to go is ideal!
I also really enjoy puzzles and colouring as a "mindful" exercise. Another this that works for me is to go for walks. Sometimes it's long 1 hour walks, sometimes just a 5-10 min walk, depending on my time, mood and needs. It helps me clear my head if I have a lot going on and can't really make sense of any of it 😊
Didn’t even realize I was beating myself up over my morning routine failures…yep, that’s a thing. Looking forward to a menu…😊
I loved seeing this; it’s so nice to know that these things don’t always work for everyone and you might need to tweak things for yourself. You and I are on a very similar wavelength about this. A lot of ‘life changing’ habits just wind up increasing my anxiety. Thanks for this and have a great day!
I discovered you this morning and just loved this video. I watched another one of yours and have subscribed. I hardly ever subscribe to anyone because they don't feel 'real'. I just love your honesty and your relatability and you don't make me feel guilty. I love love love your menu idea. Thank you.
Ahh welcome! So glad you're enjoying it around here hahah. Thanks so much for subbing, and hope you enjoy the morning menu! 💛
I've never seen anyone talking about this! I've always felt like a failure because meditating/journaling never worked for me
I've always thought with myself "girl, you can't even write down everyday what you did that day!!!"
Thanks for sharing this
You are a freaking riot.
Also, great honest take on these life hacks. I appreciate that you explained exactly why they didn't work, and, most importantly, give an alternative.
I just found you on social media, so naturally I’m binging all of your videos, and I’ve never felt more seen and understood. Love your content and today was the first low anxious day I’ve had in a while and your videos have definitely helped with that
How am I just now finding your channel?! As a fellow anxious introvert, so much of everything you say resonates with me. Your videos make me feel less crazy. Your videos make me feel less alone. I also find them entertaining, charming and useful. Thank you for taking the time and effort to have a channel. I appreciate you. Also, please tell Goose that I’m really glad he protected you both from that vacuum guy. Well done, Goose.
this is so helpful! love your vids! you got me out of a bad depression cycle, so I'm really grateful for that. love you chat and chores, series, really gets me moving.
Thank you so much! This really got me in my feels - as someone who has been in depression cycles, I know how hard it can be to get out of them and the fact that I played any part in helping you out of yours is SO rewarding for me and reminds me why I do this, so I really appreciate you sharing that. Thank you for watching 💛
@@morganevelyncook oh my god i didn't think you would even see my comment. i'm the one who needs to thank you, you really have been helping me a lot
Oh, the back pain from laying on your stomach. Lol! I've been feeling that for the past few years. I'm glad I'm not alone 😂
Isn’t it annoying though. I used to read for hours on my stomach as a teen, then stopped, now that’s no longer an option. Humph.
Wow I can't believe so many of your experiences and conclusions match my own! Thank you for putting yourself out there, you are a joy 🌸
Thank you for giving the people what they wanted and ensuring Goose was in the video. I like the idea of a scrapbook journal for memories. It also sounds more fun than regular journalling, which I remember doing once every few months. One simple habit that I need to do is eat something in the morning; it doesn't have to be right away, but it has to be before noon, and I have to drink water. I like the serotonin hub idea; for my everyday job, I list things/tasks I've accomplished to remind me that I do get things done, but for non-work things, I don't note any of that down to refer to. Like yesterday, I remembered how wonderful my mom was, how she pushed for me to get an education and get my current job and that I should be doing more for her, and then I remembered, wait a minute, I bought her a brand new car (she did not ask for but really needed) that I'm currently paying the loan for lol.
Goose always deserves some screen time haha. And I'm glad ya found the scrapbook journal and serotonin hub tips helpful! Scrapbook journaling has definitely proved to be more fun for me than regular journaling, and SO satisfying to have a whole year of pictures and anecdotes to look back on! Also, so amazing you bought your mom a car - she sounds like a lovely lady, and FWIW, I feel like a lot of people (myself included) feel like they aren't doing enough for their moms. It's hard to repay someone for giving you life haha, but I'm sure she appreciates everything you do more than you realize 💛
I definitely relate to your sentiment & I was turned off to almost all of these. But I actually came around to meditating when I found out the true purpose that it can have (quieting the constant thoughts), that there’s different types that target very different goals, & the true goal of it is very different & more achievable then what i had previously heard. My therapist really encouraged me to try & it when I learned a lot about it from the Andrew Huberman podcast that changed everything for me. The one that I need is interoceptive meditation or I suppose you can call it mindfulness. Whether you’re taking a walk or sitting somewhere you try to focus on the sounds & sensations around you. I needed this because I have adhd & I’ll literally scream at myself in my head to please just shut the fuck up lol I never stop thinking about crap. The game changer for me was also that achievement that “zen” that ppl talk about isn’t really the purpose of doing this. It’s essentially a re-focus exercise, where every time you catch yourself drifting in thought or forgetting to pay attention to your environment you try again. If you keep messing up & having to restart YOU’RE NOT DOING IT WRONG!! In fact that may be even more effective the more times you can catch yourself & refocus. He said that Buddhists aren’t always staying in the zone, they’re just soo good & refocusing their mind they can do it at such a quick moment it’s almost inconceivable. Another thing to note is that it isn’t always relaxing or enjoyable & that still doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong, again the goal is to refocus not necessarily be relaxed. Some days it can be harder to stay focused than others & be frustrating but that’s part of practicing it. He also said even 3 minutes of trying to every day is very effective. It’s supposed to help you in real life situations like catching yourself zoning out in a work meeting & getting back on track, & the more a person is noticing their environment rather than being in their own head, they’re much happier of a person. You can also focus on breathing & body sensations but that never worked for me, I just hate breathing exercises. I’m not good at consistency doing this habit yet but it’s still a goal, & when I go for walks it’s so easy to double it as a meditation walk which makes me present for the walk more & enjoy it! I just wanted to share since this information about meditation was so new & really changed it for me. And doing meditation with the goal of curing a medical illness seems dumb😂
Thanks for sharing ❤ I struggle with sticking to a routine so it’s nice to hear ideas for other things to try that might feel more realistic for my life. Also I 100% used your video to motivate myself to do some laundry while watching. Goose’s addition was very thought provoking as well.
A+ for the puzzle recommendation, even while watching TV. I do “easy” Soduko because they are still a teeny bit of a challenge while no possibility of getting to a place of frustation.
This video is actually super helpful! I love the “intentional scrolling” tip.
Also please tell Goose thank you for his protection. We all feel safer knowing he’s on the job 👏🏻😂
I love how you described perfectly how I journal. Not a traditional journal, not a scrapbook but somewhere in the middle to keep the memories. 🥰
Yes, right in the middle! I've heard some people describe it as junk journaling which has kind of a nice ring to it haha
I'm also a huge fan of "moving meditation." Easy repetative crafts or games like Tetris. It just helps me zen out without getting antsy/bored and I end up thinking and processing at the same time.
This is the first one of your videos I’ve seen, and it was sooooo relatable! I’ve wondered for years whether there was something wrong with me because the whole idea of standing in front of a mirror and saying affirmations just made me squirm, and even the thought of journaling sounds like a lot of hard work. Oh, and “switch off devices for at least an hour before bed” while at the same time saying “read, or colour, or listen to music”. All my books, colouring, and music are on my devices! I’m on the fence with meditations - I don’t hate them, but I don’t feel like they provide any benefit for me. But the idea of starting the day with a crossword puzzle - YES! And at 66yo I’m almost at the optimum age for it LOL. So THANK YOU for confirming that it’s not just me. My take-away from this video is that my morning/evening routines/menus should be whatever I darn well choose them to be, as long as they serve me.
Excellent advice, also things i learned the hard way when i legit had to google why therapy made me worse..well turns out it's not for everyone! I do coloring and i occasionally do puzzles and crosswords. I've liked that stuff since i was a kid, who knew it would also be therapeutic? Journalling has never worked for me either but I've always had a journal. So now i scrapbook and junk journal and make random lists that have no value except for my mental health ❤
This was great. I found similar things worked for me. It does help to concentrate on an activity to quiet the mind rather than meditate. I do crossword and jigsaw puzzles, too. The only thing on your list that I actually find helpful is stream of consciousness journaling. I found that by putting my thoughts on paper, it kind of helped them leave my head permanently. Like the thoughts were constantly swirling around, and then as soon as I wrote them down, they were gone. But yeah, a lot of stuff that is marketed to people doesn’t work for everyone. It makes sense. People are wired differently. Therefore, different things would work for them. You gotta find what works for you.
I’ve been an avid journal-er since I was 9, and in my experience the journaling is less “feeling zen” and a whole lot more bringing every emotion I was suppressing right up to the surface and feeling miserable. Anger, fear, sadness, allll processed at once😂 it definitely doesn’t calm me. But the recovery afterward does. I puzzle, I game, I read- something that takes my mind off my emotions and feelings and just lets me exist somewhere else. To me that’s what allows me to feel calmer/more free- because I’m not surprising and never addressing how I feel about things to myself, but I’m not trying to process huge emotions or trauma and go right into the rest of my day🤔 Ultimately, everyone is different and I’m glad you found a better alternative to you!
Also as a frequent colorer and puzzler, it might surprise you that both of those are also considered a form of meditating! It’s called “active meditation”. It allows you to get into a flow of focus~ other examples are knitting (when you’re practiced) and for some people even exercising~
I am a teacher and leave for work at 7:00 am. I also live in the Chicago area and it is soooo cold right now. I agree with the morning and sometimes evening routines that I've seen posted on youtube. It seems like everything is very regimented. While this may work for some it doesn't for me. I am getting up 30 minutes earlier so I can stretch, actually eat something before going to work and it has helped. When you talked about puzzles it reminded me of when I taught preschool. I loved doing puzzles with my students! Preschool is Zen for children. You play, learn how to get along with others, so many other amazing activities and you get a nap time. If only I could go back, just for a couple of weeks and not as a teacher.
Love this perspective on all the self-help/care recommendations that flood the internet. My main take away from your video is to be willing to try different habits/activities that interest you, or even try to be creative and come up with your own activity, but only stick with the ones YOU personally feel/see positive results from. Just because one influencer said this "thing" is what did it all for them doesn't mean its the best for you.
Thank you for sharing ❤ I will be breaking out a puzzle this weekend in your honor!
my fav spiritual teacher says the best way to meditate is to dance which i completely agree with as someone who is adhd and has a very hard time sitting still in one place for long.
Saaame with jigsaws, I love them :D Regarding affirmations, I also get no positive thoughts from just randomly telling myself i'm smart and beautiful. What works for me instead is, when my mind starts throwing negative thoughts at me i go whoa whoa stop... and then try to find a positive retort. Sort of, I wouldn't speak like this to my friend so why I am i speaking like this to me, way.
This was a great video to watch as we approach the new year! Something that works for me is junk journaling when i want to and not having a daily quota/ or feeling like i have to.
Also I like the idea of a morning menu! Thank you for sharing that 😊
As a pharmacist your last point was the best! Also, for the meditation point, the author Tamora Pierce has a series where to do magic you have to be able to meditate to help control it. Some of the characters are able to meditate by sitting and breathing and others meditate by doing other things that calm them and allow them to focus. One does yarn spinning and another does simple sparring exercises. That was just so cool to me and really helped me understand that meditation can look different and it’s okay that I can’t just sit still and breathe. I also enjoy doing puzzles instead or going for walks when the weather is nice :-)
The Circle Opens series! Good times 😊
Morning menu, love it! 👍🏼👍🏼
Oh my goodness you are FUNNY. This video popped up on my recommended this morning and I’m so glad it did.👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
5:32 i will say, i think Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is a self help book worth reading, even if you don’t think the title applies, it covers the broader topic of emotional maturity in an applicable and actionable way and genuinely has changed the way i process my emotions and think about the relationships in my life.
Thank you for introducing me to a way for me to actually clean, like I have something interesting to listen to while also you’re cleaning so for some reason it’s a lot more motivating than just listening to someone talk while doing nothing
clicked on this video bc most of the typical "self-help"-type advice either doesn't work or doesn't stick. this turned out to be a really helpful video! the points re: meditation, journaling (specifically the why), and the morning menu have given me a lot to think about.
You may be doing this on purpose but watching you do chores allows me to mirror you. I find myself cleaning during your videos with very little prompting. Please don't stop!
My journals are event based. I write a journal entry when I finished reading book. I write in a different journal when Christmas is over. Another when I have an interesting dream. Another when I take a trip. Doing journals in this way is the ONLY way I've been able to do it consistently. And if I don't do any of those things for a while, that's fine. I just don't have any entries for that time period.
Goose needed the screen time to get credit from protecting you from the vacuum man!!
This was super helpful! I've been going through a sort of habit/routine discovery thing, and this video is basically easy notes!! ❤
That’s right, he protected the home, he deserves his screen time hahah. So glad you found these tips helpful!
Thank you so much for this video!! Nothing popular I’ve tried (meditation, journaling, medication) has helped me. I never even thought about creating a “morning menu” until seeing this. Maybe now I can finally feel better about my mornings :,)
Thank YOU so much for watching! I'm so glad you were able to take a helpful tidbit from it! Wishing ya better mornings from here on out 💛
I love this so much. New subscriber! I agree with pretty much all of these. I meditated forever, and it honestly started making me more anxious. Also, do we have the same doctor? Everything gets pinned on my anxiety, so it's pointless for me to even go.
Awesome tips. Definitely thought I was broken at times when things were more stressful than stress reducing!
Definitely not broken! haha. There's just no blanket stress solution for the entirety of humanity is what I've learned. If something doesn't work for you (after giving it a good go), just try something else!
Okay I just happened to stumble across your account. This usually isn’t the type of media I consume but in SO HAPPY I clicked this video. You are so funny and I love your editing style.
I also really appreciate you talking through what did and didn’t work for you because it’s honestly something I should think about more for myself
I love this video- as someone who also doesn’t like meditation or affirmations, it can get frustrating when this is always suggested by professionals and non-professionals alike. I think journaling every single day is pointless, as I feel Ike I’m just writing the same stuff everyday. Thanks for sharing what has and hadn’t worked for you!
I totally get that frustration-journaling every day feels the same way for me sometimes too! I’m so glad this video resonated with you and thanks for sharing your perspective 💛
Nice video, coloring or playing cozy games helps me to be more zen. I often add an audiobook to these habits to put away over thinking too.
OMG your video is amazing. Regular habits pretty much never worked for me or not in the way intended. But working WITH my brain made my life so much easier. I don't meditate, but I carve out specific time in the day to do a mindful cozy hobby. Routine too fancy doesn't work with me, but I love your idea of morning menus! Though for me it's more about evening menus 😂I love that! Great ideas here :)
I'm so glad it resonated with ya! Working ~with~ your brain is the perfect way to put it. Thanks for watching!
Love the idea of intentional screen time in the morning and night. I tried giving up screens all together and I hated it 😅 Will definitely try reading a newsletter!
Strongly agree with not needing supplements! In fact, it's really weird to me how obsessed Americans are with them. It's getting to the point where people are preaching WATER isn't healthy enough and needs a load of artificial vitamins and supplements put into them to the point where it really isn't water anymore. Like, I am all for fruit in your water, that's cool, but I'm talking about powder stuff from jars. Water is literally the most healthy drink you can get, you really don't need all this powder stuff.
Instant sub! Can’t wait to binge the rest of you videos
Aw yay! Welcome new friend 🤗
Your point about a morning menu vs. morning routine has just completely set me free. Thank you!
Love your video. I think you are my new favorite person. The sarcasm was top tier. This is from sarcasm queen to another. So glad I found your channel randomly at midnight on Monday 😆
Hey Morgan! I love your videos and they bring me so much calmness and as a fellow anxious person I relate to a lot of things you share and it makes life a bit easier for me :))
but as a person with pharmacology background I have to comment on what you said about supplements - yes the contents sometimes seem overshot but it is very rare that the whole content of the supplement would be absorbed by your body. For example, for magnesium if the supplement is in the form of magnesium oxide, the bioavailability is only 4% so even if you take a tablet with 500% of “the daily dose”, your body will actually get much less of it..
that being said, you also have micronutrients soluble in water (e.g. vitamin C) where if you have plenty you will just get rid of it in urine, but there are vitamins soluble in fats like Vitamin A which are actually more “dangerous” for overdose because they get stored in the body fat and can thus be harmful if you have too much.
Nevertheless I totally agree that it’s best to have tests run by the doctor to see what deficiencies one has :)
Thiiiiis!! I love this video! I have a very similar story and I know I wouldn’t be the same person I am today without the person I *tried* to be through my 20s but the feeling of finally breaking away from all the noise and finding things that fit who I am is unrivaled.
Oh!!!! I LOVE the morning menu thing. I am way too rigid and feel like a failure if I don't do everything on my list.
New subscriber! You are hilarious and I love all of your points. I love your laid-back approach to things we all have in common. Awesome stuff.
This is my first video of yours and i truly resonate with the way your thoughts come out, I really appreciated what you had to say in this video and it makes me feel better about how my brain works
Aww I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Welcome to my cozy corner of the internet, hope to see ya around 😊
Have you ever tried Marie Condoo folding? You don't even have to follow her exact formula, sometimes I just roll the clothing up or fold it in different proportions because of the size of the garment, but it's so nice to be able to take out the piece you want without having to take it from underneath other pieces. Only if you've never given it a go.
New subscriber and I love your delivery. The Morning Menu is REVOLUTIONARY.
I’ve also learned that some of these alternatives work better for me.
If you get sick or crosswords, try Murdle. It’s a logic puzzle to solve a mystery. And each puzzle is part of an over arching story. Super fun.
Thank you!! I'm so glad ya enjoyed 😊. And thank you for the Murdle suggestion - sounds very interesting, going to check it out!
YO it was so encouraging to hear you talk about all these things!! None of those work for me either, especially randomized self care books that make me feel like I have problems only the author knows how to fix and I feel so broken while reading it and lost 🥹😂 and I never get to a point with meditation where visualization or focus does anything for me.. and same with affirmations! The more I say something, the less I comprehend it 😂
Definitely loved this vid, can’t wait to see what else your channel has to offer!
I have tried most of these and they’ve been awful but affirmations I have figured out if you want them to be more effective to have a list of things that make you feel that way. So like, “I am beautiful” would have a list of ways to make it effective (I will take time to give myself a pressure point massage while washing my face, I will put a moisturizer on, I’ll shave, I’ll use lotion, etc.) and that has really worked for me
You have the best sense of humor. I love your sarcasm!
Journaling actually keeps you in your head. People with anxiety or depression should not journal, they should do something with their hands, preferrably something repetitive.
In theory, there isnt much of a difference between affirmations and positive self talk. But for me, an affirmation that ive already decided upon doesnt work because it feels ungrounded. If im struggling working on something and say out loud to myself "I can do hard things. I've done hard things before, and I can do this" it feels responsive to the moment, and that works for me.
I just can't tell you how much i love your channel
Screenshotted and added to my serotonin hub-thank you!! 🫶
Can you please make a video deeper into the “self help” books idea. I watch lots of “self help” youtube videos/podcasts and I felt so overwhelmed until I heard what you said because it made me realize how much I was overdoing it and “creating more problems” or things to “work on/consider”.
i love how this video helped me do my chores while watching it
I’m decluttering and laundry while watching this. ❤