Grandma told me "The day you decide to have kids is the day you've willingly signed your life over to them. Everything you do will be about them and for them. If you don't like that, don't have kids"
@@thatguy5391And you're too optimistic to get that the "women are wonderful" effect affects more people than you think, including judges. Too optimistic to get that you could get unlucky and run into a psycho zealot like Leslie Alden (The judge from Ben Hart aka the Breakdancing Dad's story. You should look it up actually. It makes for a good glimpse into how the courts are unfair to men, even the one sacrificing everything because he felt guilty) as an example.
@@thatguy5391And you're too optimistic to get that the "women are wonderful" effect affects more people than you think, including judges. Too optimistic to get that you could get unlucky and run into a psycho zealot like Leslie Alden (The judge from Ben Hart aka the Breakdancing Dad's story. You should look it up actually. It makes for a good glimpse into how the courts are unfair to m3n, even the one sacrificing everything because he felt guilty) as an example.
By some you actually mean most...good lord with the latest batch being the shitheels they are now I truly feel sorry for any of them that have kids. It's a commitment to raise tiny humans. You either try or you don't....the results are apparent everywhere. Some kids are very polite and listen well...the others will be in jail or pregnant into their early teens. If that happens just look at the parents...they most likely the exact same way....
Op is going to shoulder a lot more work with the hope of his wife falling in love with being a mom. But instead he’s enabling her selfish attitude and desires to not really love nor care for her children. He might as well leave because his kids already lost their mother and knowing she doesn’t love them is going to scar them from then on.
Sometimes it's easier to live in denial than it is to face up to the harder questions. I don't blame the guy; something like this could completely overturn their whole lives. Even if the mother just 'exists', there are many cases where a second adult even just being there is still better than not
ITS Not that IT Changes anything If He leaves her. The Kids already Taken Up on that and what better.proof IS there that you don't have any.love for your Kids than to never be around.
@@hcolider2817 No. Definitely not. Definitely in 100% not. These Kids will be scarred for life. Less Damage would happen if they just had a loving single Father or a Father that has the Balls to get a Stepmom
i will never ever understand how a parent can be like that. she really shouldn't have had kids. my son is the light of my life, he is my everything and the best moments of my life are spent with him. together we are a great team and he turned out be a great person (he's 16 now).
Either she got accidentally pregnant or she thought it would be different. There are a lot of parents with "accidents" running around the house. I'm not gonna say that she's right. Kids need their parents, regardless of if they're ready or not. That said, I understand where the mom's coming from.. I just hope she recognizes that just moping about it is gonna ruin what she has and that she needs to step up.
I'm sure the guy thinks he's doing right be the kids by trying to work it out with the mother in the hope that she will come around in an attempt to not make them feel abandoned, but growing up everyday with a parent who treats you like a nuisance is going to be infinitely worse.
I had 2 parents like this and it made me a narcissistic piece of shit that hates life, himself and everybody else. If you cant handle kids. Dont make them.
Oh no lol. I can take exactly what's going to happen. She can find peace in the arms of another man, break up the family, And from there she'll have his kids and to be pretty happy, and her excuse is going to be "I just wasn't ready before." I've seen it happen twice lol.
There's a difference between loving being a mother and loving the title of a mother. Feelings of regret are valid, but you know what you were getting into.
My dad went through the exact same thing, it's an awful experience but a strong dad can change someone's life for the better. Who needs a mom anyway? Love you dad
@@anaximanderofapollonia9842 yeah I know that's how things happen when you go through the courts but if you own the deed to the house and they being like this one, it's "change the locks while they're out, tell the police you have a violent deranged woman trying to get in and stop interacting."
So he can reward her terrible behavior by paying her alimony (if not child support) for the rest of her life? Face it, dude. Marriage is a bad contract for dudes, no matter how you slice it.
If people don't want to be mother-mommy and father-daddy don't make kids that you are not ready to love them properly! Love is not just rainbows and sunshines is also makeing sacrifices and doing things that you are in "I don't feel like it" you still do it.
Sucks for the kids, hopefully when they get older the mom will come around. Kids need a mom. Got a 7 a 5 and a 1 year old. My 5 year old is a little talker and it gets exhausting sometimes but I always try to tell myself, one days he’s not gonna wanna talk to me so much and I’ll miss these days.
Some women are like this and really dont have that bond with their own offspring. That is heartbreaking. They really shouldnt have kids but sometimes the post-partum depression and hormones does crazy things to women. I have an in law like this and does not want to be around her own kids for long. Kids can sense this, and it messes them up.
The kids are going to have issues no matter what he does, especially if they split and she gets partial custody and a revolving door of boyfriends who hurt the kids What he’s doing now is probably the best he’s got
She won't come around. I've heard so many stories like this. Best case scenario, she distances herself from the kids emotionally and makes OP shoulder all the burden. Otherwise, I expect she'll just up and leave one day and likely disappear for several years before returning home once the kids get a bit older and become more independent and less chaotic, returning with a cheery smile and acting like it was just a little road trip and wanting to reconnect with her family.
@@random3263827 yep because cultures have always placed women on a pedestal above men. Women can be the embodiment of the 7 deadly sins and people will make excuses for their behaviors, while if a man does the same thing few (if any) would make excuses for him.
Not counting the cost of being a parent… but also remember that post partum can be a huge hole to dig out of. If she doesn’t realize the feelings aren’t her, and they will pass, she may also be feeding into a negative loop of believing she can’t love her kids. And that becomes reality. Love isn’t a feeling, it’s a commitment, if you catch that as a young parent it will change your life
Love is recognising perfection within yourself through external factors. Therefore, "parental love" by default does not fall into the "love" category. It either falls into "self preservation," based on how much your kids remind you of yourself, or into "duty," based on your moral values, or both. And since the woman in question needs space from her own kids, then she has no clue about who she is = she can neither recognise herself in her kids nor does she upholds moral values values which should force her to take care of her own kids. The father screwed up, badly, by choosing that kind of woman to bear his children and now, his whole family is paying for that mistake of his.
She needs to work on herself and her apparent selfishness, but good on him for not giving up on either her or the kids. That man is a true keeper. Hope she doesn’t eff it up.
God forbid one of them kids are gifted academicly. She will try to make him/her her life achivement through verbal abuse (Hopefully only verbal). Its heartbroking to watch your mother do everything except loving you.
No she will, she will fight like a rabid animal. She won’t care about the kids, until it affects her “lifestyle” then she will win them, half his stuff, and destroy their lives once she is cashing those checks
i don't know maybe some are lazy and don't want responsibility. for some people kids are like having toys they want them and will be happy for short a while but after that they will start losing interest on them. I always says " raising kids is like filling sea drop by drop". i also raised my lil bro when i was 14. so, i have little experience.
I don't, and she's finishing up college so it's not a "she's still small, you'll change your mind" thing. Raised her on my own for the first decade, too.
Get her off the screen except for when kind are asleep or at school and deliver the ultimatum: she cuts social media or she goes away for one month to get her peace. When she comes back she is no longer allowed to complain, or else has to cut social media. It has ruined everything.
Nobody knows what it’s like to have kids until you have them. You can’t just say “Shouldn’t have had kids”, because how is she meant to know what parenting is like? Nobody does.
Bollocks! Children from big families know what is like to have kids, without having any of their own, especially the oldest ones. Also, a child can assume the role of a parent to his/her younger siblings - when the parents fail to do so.
Man, the people in these comments have some fucking venom in their words for a situation they barely have any context to. Good on OP for trying his hard out and stepping up where the mom wont. I just wish that she'd recognize that too and takes up the reigns as well.
I truly believe that people who don't like kids, are just bad people. Because it either means you lack empathy completely, or you're just immature. I'm not saying everyone should be vying to spend as much time with kids as possible or anything, or even that everyone should want to have kids (in fact a lot of people don't deserve to) but if you baseline hate kids, there's something severely wrong with your humanity.
*Playlist for more 4Chan Greentext Stories:* th-cam.com/play/PLIM34RkqnVfViYOoeidwDjsl-JJP1UUMG.html
Grandma told me "The day you decide to have kids is the day you've willingly signed your life over to them. Everything you do will be about them and for them. If you don't like that, don't have kids"
Based grandma
good advise
If only it was that simple, lot of people don't accept consequences
Yeah that’s why nobody has kids anymore.
Gramma knows wassup
These kids deserve a mother that loves them ffs
every mom, afterall, is a woman
Yk it’s serious when the jonkler said ts
A mother WHO loves them
tell this to Batman
@@randomguy2530 BATMAN ASSLUME REFERENCE SPOTTED
And then some retort judge will give the kids to the mom that blatantly hates em cause "iTs iN tHeiR bEsT iNTeReSt
All that male privilege right there
If you have proof they won't. My cousin has full custody from his kids because he got proof. Y'all are far too pessimistic lol
Or stupid.
@@thatguy5391And you're too optimistic to get that the "women are wonderful" effect affects more people than you think, including judges. Too optimistic to get that you could get unlucky and run into a psycho zealot like Leslie Alden (The judge from Ben Hart aka the Breakdancing Dad's story. You should look it up actually. It makes for a good glimpse into how the courts are unfair to men, even the one sacrificing everything because he felt guilty) as an example.
@@thatguy5391And you're too optimistic to get that the "women are wonderful" effect affects more people than you think, including judges. Too optimistic to get that you could get unlucky and run into a psycho zealot like Leslie Alden (The judge from Ben Hart aka the Breakdancing Dad's story. You should look it up actually. It makes for a good glimpse into how the courts are unfair to m3n, even the one sacrificing everything because he felt guilty) as an example.
You probably aren't even a father 😂😂😂
Honestly, if I had been in this situation, I’d have said “the kids think you don’t love them. Either get the help you need, or get out.”
Based.
Try it sometime let us know how it goes.
good way to lose the kids in the divorce
And then she files for divorce, takes the kids, tell her friends you were abusing her and ruins your life.
@@John-Alighieri she will not want the kids
Some people really just shouldnt have kids
100%. There's no getting around that she shouldn't have had them.
Me
Or maybe she’s just poisoned by TikTok and reality shows
By some you actually mean most...good lord with the latest batch being the shitheels they are now I truly feel sorry for any of them that have kids. It's a commitment to raise tiny humans. You either try or you don't....the results are apparent everywhere. Some kids are very polite and listen well...the others will be in jail or pregnant into their early teens. If that happens just look at the parents...they most likely the exact same way....
Most*
That dude is in so much trouble and he won't even realize it for another three years
Op is going to shoulder a lot more work with the hope of his wife falling in love with being a mom. But instead he’s enabling her selfish attitude and desires to not really love nor care for her children. He might as well leave because his kids already lost their mother and knowing she doesn’t love them is going to scar them from then on.
Sometimes it's easier to live in denial than it is to face up to the harder questions. I don't blame the guy; something like this could completely overturn their whole lives. Even if the mother just 'exists', there are many cases where a second adult even just being there is still better than not
ITS Not that IT Changes anything If He leaves her. The Kids already Taken Up on that and what better.proof IS there that you don't have any.love for your Kids than to never be around.
@@hcolider2817 No. Definitely not. Definitely in 100% not. These Kids will be scarred for life. Less Damage would happen if they just had a loving single Father or a Father that has the Balls to get a Stepmom
He needed to tell her to fix her shitty attitude or kick rocks.
My friend has a mom like that, he picked it up rather quickly when he was 9, and was equally distant to her
i will never ever understand how a parent can be like that. she really shouldn't have had kids. my son is the light of my life, he is my everything and the best moments of my life are spent with him. together we are a great team and he turned out be a great person (he's 16 now).
Fake and gay. No one with an anime pic has a child!
Either she got accidentally pregnant or she thought it would be different. There are a lot of parents with "accidents" running around the house.
I'm not gonna say that she's right. Kids need their parents, regardless of if they're ready or not. That said, I understand where the mom's coming from.. I just hope she recognizes that just moping about it is gonna ruin what she has and that she needs to step up.
Western culture brings that out in women.
I'm sure the guy thinks he's doing right be the kids by trying to work it out with the mother in the hope that she will come around in an attempt to not make them feel abandoned, but growing up everyday with a parent who treats you like a nuisance is going to be infinitely worse.
So... she didn't figure this out with the first kid?!
I had 2 parents like this and it made me a narcissistic piece of shit that hates life, himself and everybody else. If you cant handle kids. Dont make them.
Oh no lol. I can take exactly what's going to happen. She can find peace in the arms of another man, break up the family, And from there she'll have his kids and to be pretty happy, and her excuse is going to be "I just wasn't ready before." I've seen it happen twice lol.
One thing you guys don’t get to learnt is to VET YOUR WOMAN BEFORE MARRIAGE.
One needs proper parental role models for that, something that is missing in the "muh individualusm" West.
She probably plotting to leave him and the kids. He should watch her phone etc...
Should have went to a lawyer immediately
He should get rid of her ASAP and get a loving Stepmom for the rascals
I’m worried she’ll do something to the kids tbh
There's a difference between loving being a mother and loving the title of a mother.
Feelings of regret are valid, but you know what you were getting into.
She found someone else and want to get away from her family
My dad went through the exact same thing, it's an awful experience but a strong dad can change someone's life for the better. Who needs a mom anyway? Love you dad
Yeah I'm sorry but you'd be out of the door at that sort of logic. "I need my peace"
"I need my peace"
"Then why didn’t you become a monk?"
Actually, the father would be/will be out of the door once the mother decides to proclaim: "I am not happy." And she will still get the kids.
@@anaximanderofapollonia9842 yeah I know that's how things happen when you go through the courts but if you own the deed to the house and they being like this one, it's "change the locks while they're out, tell the police you have a violent deranged woman trying to get in and stop interacting."
She won't. Get a divorce
then hell never see his kids again
@@GallowayJesseI dunno, sounds like this one would would sign them away
I don't think she makes the effort to fight for the children@@GallowayJesse
Damned if you do damned if you dont
So he can reward her terrible behavior by paying her alimony (if not child support) for the rest of her life?
Face it, dude. Marriage is a bad contract for dudes, no matter how you slice it.
If people don't want to be mother-mommy and father-daddy don't make kids that you are not ready to love them properly!
Love is not just rainbows and sunshines is also makeing sacrifices and doing things that you are in "I don't feel like it" you still do it.
Sucks for the kids, hopefully when they get older the mom will come around. Kids need a mom. Got a 7 a 5 and a 1 year old. My 5 year old is a little talker and it gets exhausting sometimes but I always try to tell myself, one days he’s not gonna wanna talk to me so much and I’ll miss these days.
Some women are like this and really dont have that bond with their own offspring. That is heartbreaking. They really shouldnt have kids but sometimes the post-partum depression and hormones does crazy things to women. I have an in law like this and does not want to be around her own kids for long. Kids can sense this, and it messes them up.
I miss when greentext were wild outlandish funny stories, or a clever troll. Now its just a bunch of people trama dumping :/
Those kids are gonna have some issues because this dude won't leave his wife
Worthy sacrifice for the queen
The kids are going to have issues no matter what he does, especially if they split and she gets partial custody and a revolving door of boyfriends who hurt the kids
What he’s doing now is probably the best he’s got
Good news if she wants to divorce she won't take the kids at the very least.
She won't come around. I've heard so many stories like this. Best case scenario, she distances herself from the kids emotionally and makes OP shoulder all the burden. Otherwise, I expect she'll just up and leave one day and likely disappear for several years before returning home once the kids get a bit older and become more independent and less chaotic, returning with a cheery smile and acting like it was just a little road trip and wanting to reconnect with her family.
But if a father "needed his peace," he's a deadbeat?🤔
@@random3263827 yep because cultures have always placed women on a pedestal above men. Women can be the embodiment of the 7 deadly sins and people will make excuses for their behaviors, while if a man does the same thing few (if any) would make excuses for him.
that dad's an absolute legend.
Divorce sounds like is in this dudes future
major red flag. it might be a sign she's cheating
Thats one thing I would never forgive...
Not counting the cost of being a parent… but also remember that post partum can be a huge hole to dig out of. If she doesn’t realize the feelings aren’t her, and they will pass, she may also be feeding into a negative loop of believing she can’t love her kids. And that becomes reality.
Love isn’t a feeling, it’s a commitment, if you catch that as a young parent it will change your life
Love is recognising perfection within yourself through external factors. Therefore, "parental love" by default does not fall into the "love" category. It either falls into "self preservation," based on how much your kids remind you of yourself, or into "duty," based on your moral values, or both.
And since the woman in question needs space from her own kids, then she has no clue about who she is = she can neither recognise herself in her kids nor does she upholds moral values values which should force her to take care of her own kids.
The father screwed up, badly, by choosing that kind of woman to bear his children and now, his whole family is paying for that mistake of his.
She needs to work on herself and her apparent selfishness, but good on him for not giving up on either her or the kids. That man is a true keeper. Hope she doesn’t eff it up.
Poor kids. Being with a mom that don't give a f about them will hurt them more than having no mom around.
Mom might be depressed
Nope. She’s not going to come around. She’s made some executive decisions. Get ready to say goodbye.
He needs to first do a paternity test to see if any of this shit is even worth the trouble to begin with.
You know she gonna spoil the grandkids though.
God forbid one of them kids are gifted academicly. She will try to make him/her her life achivement through verbal abuse (Hopefully only verbal). Its heartbroking to watch your mother do everything except loving you.
Empathetic and nurturing parent
Some people just shouldn’t be parents but society demands everyone has kids. This is what happens.
How is it societys fault?
A lot of people are married without kids
Society says that kids are the worst possible std
Anon should divorce her.
That's one ex-wife who won't fight for child custody, much less child support.
No she will, she will fight like a rabid animal.
She won’t care about the kids, until it affects her “lifestyle” then she will win them, half his stuff, and destroy their lives once she is cashing those checks
She will come around once they dont need her anymore but she needs them to take care of her.
But that will be too late.
My mother was this exact person AMA
I secretly wonder if most parents hate their children
Egoists certainly do
i don't know maybe some are lazy and don't want responsibility. for some people kids are like having toys they want them and will be happy for short a while but after that they will start losing interest on them. I always says " raising kids is like filling sea drop by drop". i also raised my lil bro when i was 14. so, i have little experience.
I don't, and she's finishing up college so it's not a "she's still small, you'll change your mind" thing. Raised her on my own for the first decade, too.
Yes
@@Traveleronthelamb you have some experience with that?
Get her off the screen except for when kind are asleep or at school and deliver the ultimatum: she cuts social media or she goes away for one month to get her peace. When she comes back she is no longer allowed to complain, or else has to cut social media.
It has ruined everything.
Fake: Anon is married
Gay: idk
A day will come for her to be proud of them. it will be her choise to be a mother then.
yo please love them i beg otherwise they gonna end up on /b/ like their dad
Fembots. Just leave yo
Shell come around alright. With a tub full of water.
Nobody knows what it’s like to have kids until you have them. You can’t just say “Shouldn’t have had kids”, because how is she meant to know what parenting is like? Nobody does.
Thank you, finally someone speaks the truth.
Bollocks! Children from big families know what is like to have kids, without having any of their own, especially the oldest ones. Also, a child can assume the role of a parent to his/her younger siblings - when the parents fail to do so.
That's just most parents...
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst
Reading the comments I've realised that 4chan is as much of an echo chamber as Reddit, holy fk i feel like I'm reading moral puritans
Man, the people in these comments have some fucking venom in their words for a situation they barely have any context to.
Good on OP for trying his hard out and stepping up where the mom wont. I just wish that she'd recognize that too and takes up the reigns as well.
You scrolled down on youtube, what did you expect
Did you did you only just noticed now?
Probably fake.
I truly believe that people who don't like kids, are just bad people. Because it either means you lack empathy completely, or you're just immature. I'm not saying everyone should be vying to spend as much time with kids as possible or anything, or even that everyone should want to have kids (in fact a lot of people don't deserve to) but if you baseline hate kids, there's something severely wrong with your humanity.
Why'd you remove my comment
How do you have 2 kids and THEN realize you dont want to be a mother