*love to everyone who's struggling!* ♥ you're not broken. you're sensitive. and it's beautiful. lovelies, please be extra lovely to yourself right now. we're collectively going through a lot. you're valuable no matter your looks or mental state. let's get through this together! 🤗
Thanks for sharing about the hair loss. I have experience this as well. It's so hard, especially when hair is such a big part of our identity as women. YAY for the green screen working!
So much love to you! You've been a ray of sunshine in my TH-cam subscription feed for well over a decade, but never feel as though you're typecast and pigeonholed and forced into being sunshiny all the time. That's not realistic or healthy. This year has been A YEAR, and your feelings are valid!
Prayers and hugs to you. I don’t know what to say about the depression but i hope you can see a doctor soon. You have been through so much❤️please hang onto any little bit of happiness and cling on to it and try to build. There are some great people and channels here on youtube for help. I have been going thru some stuff and youtube has been a great help. Luckily i have bounced back from devastation several times but sadly the stress had made my hair thin too😞but im working with what i have before just decide to do a major trim. We are much more than “hair”❤️ for your channel im sure your lovelies appreciate any type of video you share. Thanks for your openness about what you are going thru. Im sure there are many people thinking and praying for you even more now, including me🥰
Sending love Torrin. Thanks for being honest and open. I experienced hair loss from extreme stress and anxiety. Hope you can take time for your mental health. Therapy has been so helpful for me. Take care of yourself Torrin ✌️ 💕
Bottom line is you have to do what makes you happy. This has been a tough year! I could tell you were not truly happy in the hair video. I do care about you and wish you the best. Some days I just stay in bed too. We will persevere! Fight the good fight. 😘
Just a suggestion here - maybe it would be worth getting your vitamin D levels checked. If I don't take my vit D supplements every day I soon feel awful and full of suppressed rage. A friend of mine has hair loss and her doctor suggested trying vitamin D to see if it helps. Also there is is some evidence coming out that low vitamin D levels can cause covid to be much worse if you do get it. Don't let people nag you to just go out in the sun more - this doesn't always help, everybodys different, get the proffesional help you need, there's no shame in it. Cognative behavioural therapy really helped my husbands depression when he was first diagnosed with MS. Don't worry about the lack of hair videos I enjoy the make up ones and would really like some more 'cooking with Torrin' videos!
Hi Torrin, I've never interacted with your content before besides watching here on TH-cam for a long time now and maybe a comment or two on your random lives. I finally found a reason to finally tell you I have looked up to you in a lot of ways, which may sound silly to you but you're a major inspiration to me. Your hair caught my attention, of course, in that I've never seen someone with the EXACT same color hair as me! But I have also experienced major (might I add, random) hair loss recently which was heartbreaking, and knowing you're experiencing too is also heartbreaking, at the same time knowing that I'm not alone in this is really comforting. I don't mean to be sappy but this video really spoke to me and brought me to tears. I hope that things look up for you, and know that you're not a failure in anyway. I'm here for anything you choose to upload, anything goes. This is your channel! Much love! :)
Hurt feelings need doctors just like broken legs do! We can’t make our bones whole anymore than we can force our pituitary, or whatever make the neurotransmitter we need, or force the neurons to uptake them properly!
I’m so sorry you’re struggling with depression. I’ve fought with it for close to 20 years now (WOW, I now feel ANCIENT). And I think what’s so hard to articulate about it is that it’s not always sadness. It’s just... apathy. Disinterest. Feeling overwhelmed by existing. Sadness is so much meatier. Feels like something you can deal with. Get through. What do you do when you just don’t care? It’s rough. Please just keep fighting through and reach out if it reaches a scary level. Don’t stay silent. 💜
Take care of yourself Torrin. That’s the important thing. My hair fell out about 5 years ago, largely due to medications I needed to be on at the time - it got to the point of being about half as thick as it was 6 months earlier. Some of it came back but not all, and I admit that’s when I largely stopped watching the hair vids, because I just wanted to put it up and hide how thin it was. It’s falling out again from stress since my brother passed away from some really severe form of autoimmune haemolytic anaemia, and I discovered I also have inherited genetic risk markers for autoimmune disorders from my mum. I agree with all the folks speaking about vitamin D. I take a supplement every day, but my doc says my levels are still “sub-optimal”. I’m a cranky nightmare to deal with and get really depressed if I haven’t taken any in a while.
Totally with you on the social media thing. I dropped off Facebook shortly after the election. I was so disgusted and heartbroken at the ignorance that I had to check out for my own sanity. Hugs to you!
My best girlfriend from college has Fibromyalgia. After many many MANY rounds with her doc she got a diagnosis (it was seriously years). They had her switch to a low inflammation diet, and her hair and nails started to come back. NOT like they were before, but some. Once you get a diagnosis that can open a lot of treatment options.
@@barbielee7523 Exactly! Her Fibro doctor told her she could start with meds, diet/exercise, or a combo of both. She went with both, she got referred to a dietitian or nutritionist (I don't remember which) started water aerobics (pre pandemic) and started medication. She's never going to "get better" it's a lifelong condition, but she feels like she's managing it now, and that feeling can be life changing.
I don't have any words of advice, I'm pretty much where you're at right now. Hair is falling out, I'm gaining weight, I'm feeling blah. And I hate it. I hate this for you. I'm sending love to you, you're a beautiful soul and we all care for you. We will see the other side of this, we just have to be patient with ourselves. Please take care, beautiful.
I am very lucky to have someone who will give me a laugh when I need one. I have been depressed and it is because of spending so much time in my home. Work has been very sparse, my husband and I have been having trouble paying our bills fully, he lost his job after being there for nearly two years because our local office for the Department of Licensing dropped the ball and didn't submit his medical card for his CDL to the State Dept. of Licensing. He has been without his CDL for over a year and because of this he now has to retake the knowledge test and the skills test and he was fired from his job. They were acting like it was all my husband's fault that things weren't taken care of. I used to be pretty extroverted, but after lockdown happened, i started getting anxious about being anywhere but home. It has gotten a little better. I know depression is real because I have had it before. Hang in there Torrin. I know it will get better soon. I'll be praying for you.
Treatment for mental illness problems has disappeared since Reagan. So much of our trouble in society today is due to untreated mental illness. We need to make it a priority in our society. Take care. You are loved
I love your makeup! Gothic Ballerina is perfect! Depression sucks. I'm sorry you have to deal with it. Take care. Sending lots of good thoughts your way. 💞
Loving the background. I think a lot of people have the Winter blues; Daylight Saving Time messes up a person's inner clock. We used to have celebrations honoring how the sun fades away and the darkness of Winter closes in. Back in my 20s I got very sick with an unknown ailment where I lost about 1/3 of my hair. I cried and cried fearing I was going bald. I didn't go bald but my hair never grew back. My daughter Miss Beff lost almost 40% of her hair and it has grown back. This year I'm getting really brave and asking my mom to come to my house for Christmas (we don't get along very well and I haven't seen her in several years cuz my wheelchair can't make it up the stairs to her house). Take a deep breath and know that your Lovlies Love You!
My hair has thinned out so much! I feel you on this. I also have to keep my nails short because they split. Love your background! For hair, I've been doing scalp massages along with taking Sugarbear Hair Vitamins and it seems to be helping. I have issues with my scalp itching and getting sore spots so I had to stop using a lot of my favorite hair things. I did find a nice all natural shampoo bar and conditioner that my scalp has accepted. You're not alone in the struggle with depression. Same with Social Media. This year has been a over the top! I hope and pray 2021 will be better for us all. Thank God for grown up husbands! I can't remember the last time I've cooked. Take care of yourself!
I can't imagine how devastating a hair fall must be for you! And missing your family at Christmas. 2020 has been quite a year. Feel better. I know I'm not alone in this: I care about you, not because you make videos, but because you're a decent, compassionate, loving human. Depression sucks. I hope it passes soon. 🧡💙💛❤
My heart just hurt for you, listening to you share your struggles. I am so sorry you are going through all this 😢😢. I will be praying that you get some answers. I know how hard it is being a “mystery patient”. Please don’t feel pressure at all to do any hair videos, or any videos for that matter. Your health and mental well-being mean way more than videos! Hugs to you, my sweet friend 💜.
You know although you are such a positive vibe here on YT, please don’t feel obligated to be/do anything! This video helped me realise that hey I can be a positive/generally happy inclined person who has depression too. You’re like that, and me too!! Just keep taking care of yourself, the little stuff, and know you’ll get through it. X
I had hair shedding, thinning for a year. I found out it was my anti inflammation medications. Aleve and topical steroids was causing it. My hair is now back to it's original thickness after a year of stopping those meds. Note that NSAIDS cause hair loss.
Hi Torrin, I’ve never commented on your channel before but felt compelled to like a lot of the others here. I hate to see you struggle like this & I think you’re brave for being so open. Please don’t think you’re alone in the battle with depression. It’s an awful place to be. Last week I felt so terribly low & couldn’t hold it together at all. This year has been so brutal for many of us. I feel you on the hair loss. I’ve been experiencing it too. It’s so upsetting. I blame it all on my hormones😖 I’ve been taking biotin pills every day, using a caffeine shampoo and sprinkling nutritional yeast of my food, and the shedding has definitely not been so bad. I hope you can find a solution that’s right for you. I love your channel. You’re such a fun and creative lady. Please be good to yourself, you’re much appreciated❤️
All the hugs to you! We're twins in the worst ways. Besides hair loss, I'm at the same point in my Twitch channel where I'm just doing what I'm gonna do, what I want to do, and people watch less. But ohh well. I'm really glad to see every video you do. We'll just keep on keeping on. People hate unsolicited advice but I have to recommend Viviscal if you care to try a hair supplement. It works for tons of people, and I saw results in 2 weeks. I'm still torn on the pieces that I can't tell if they're damage or new growth, but besides those, I see another whole wave of baby hairs coming in and seeing the new baby hairs helps my sadness a lot. I'm now sure I have growth. I found out about Viviscal from a hair professional in a lupus group. It helps hair loss that happens for many reasons, not just autoimmune. A bunch of people replied to her saying, "Yes, this worked for me!" I was like, what the heck. So I tried it, and it's working for me as well. Many hugs to you, you're not alone. I'm a mess. I'm miserable. I feel LOST, just lost. All the time. But we depressed people are all going through it together...which helps a teeny bit. We aren't alone.
Sorry, always writing novels, but seriously thank you for this video. Thank you, thank you. I'm gonna push myself to stream tonight. I'm SUPPOSED to, tonight is part of my schedule, but I was going to blow it off, my mood is so bad. But seeing you doing this video made me realize I can do it. You did your video, I can do my stream. It's good for us to do our things. Thanks again.
I've been feeling the same way! I started antidepressants around April and since then its helped with my anxiety but covid has made my depression so bad. Its hard to enjoy anything anymore but I keep pushing through. You're definitely not alone
I'm kind of in the same boat. We know it's an immune disorder but not which one. Yes, my hair is thinner. It's common to be low in vitamin D with an immune disorder and it's easy to check.
Great background. Grey eye shadow is good on you. Have your vitamin B and D levels checked. I think that you are hanging in there and doing well. You are dealing with a lot yet you keep on keeping on. Good for you!
Sending best wishes from Australia 🧡 You've brought me and I'm sure a lot of people a lot of joy over the years, and I hope you hear how much we care about you. I've been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease this year among other things and it's hard. I hope you get some answers and some help very soon.
Hey Torrin, I've never commented on your videos before but I feel like I should share something with you. A little over two years ago (almost to the day) I made the gutwrenchingly difficult decision to cut off contact with my abusive mother. Ever since I've been slowly-but-surely working on re-mothering myself (being the mother that I needed but never had, not only to my 3-year-old daughter, but to myself as well). And one of the things I've done is invent an imaginary mother. I know to some that may sound sad or even cuckoo, but it's helped immensely. I've had conversations with this mother about things going on in my life, asked her for advice or comfort, etc. I've never lost touch with reality while doing this and know very well that she's imaginary, but she's nonetheless helped me see not only what I SHOULD have had growing up, but also who I want to be for my own daughter. It just so happens that she is the spitting image of you - and this happened before I even came across your channel. I actually stopped and clicked on one of your videos, in fact, because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Since then, I've watched your videos just so I could have something concrete to listen to that reminded me of my Ideal mother. I also found out that you and I have a highly coincidental number of things in common- particularly in the emotional sphere of things. I never said this before because I didn't want to sound weird, but I feel like you should know how important you are to someone out there, in case you ever doubt that. You could talk about knitting - or literally nothing - and I would still want to hear what you have to say. So if hair videos aren't going to work for you anymore because of your health, that is a-ok with me. Mental health is something that needs to be talked about more openly, and I hope you never have to feel like you can't talk about it the way I do. I've deleted my social media and hardly talk to anyone besides a few immediate family members. I don't consider myself to have any real friends anymore, and despite being extremely busy as a mother, partner and full-time student it still gets to me every day. I also have bipolar disorder and decided to transition off of meds a few months ago, so that has been a challenge and I've experienced that daily rage (and confusion, memory problems, etc.) you describe. I'm a procrastinator like you but at the same time a lot of my laziness can be attributed to depression, and I probably beat myself up too much for it. Luckily I'm beyond blessed to have a really good man, like you. He and my daughter are the only things that get me out of bed sometimes, and being there for then is truly all I can do some days but I manage - by the skin of my teeth. Sometimes all you really need is that one thing to keep you going as you get better. I'm not getting any younger, and the idea of getting better seems so impossibly foreign it's laughable, as I'm sure it probably does to you at times, but I have to keep wanting for myself what I would want to happen for my own daughter if she were in my shoes. Hopefully you feel a little less alone reading these comments. Last year was definitely difficult, and I only hope that it serves to increase our empathy for one another.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time. This year has been crazy for a lot of us. I also went through hair loss. It lasted for a few months and then got better. I hope yours does too. You're amazing and we love you! I had ppd and it was terrible so, yes depression is real and scary and I'm sending you love and good vibes.
My son used to wear his hair mid-back length. His wife's sister is a hairdresser, and he used to have her give him haircuts and such. But then he started losing his hair on top, when he was a little too young for it to be male pattern baldness. The hairdresser said it was the weight of all that hair pulling on his follicles, and she cut his hair to not much more than shoulder length. It stopped falling out. I had heart surgery to correct an "arhythmia" a few weeks ago. I did get a lot of my original energy level back, but some of the drugs they've prescribed have lots of weird side effects. But at least I had to be tested for COVID, and I didn't have it. So please accept some virtual hugs from a crazy old Witch with purple hair.
I've typically been a lurker, and don't say or comment anything, but I have to this time. Listen here lady. Don't you be sorry about it, any of it. You have nothing to be sorry about. You have to take care of you first, and if that means not uploading, or not feeling it, or not being in the creative mood, then that is absolutely fine. I've also had to deal with a lot of shedding and thinning hair(thanks, pcos!) so I understand where you are coming from. And if you want to do lots of makeup videos, then do them! Just because your channel may have started as a hair channel, doesn't mean your pigeonholed into only doing hair videos. Make whatever makes you HAPPY. Make what sparks your joy and lights your smile. You're right. Depression does suck. So don't do things that make your stress worse. Do things that help you feel better. Dealing with depression is harder than dealing with pain, because depression sucks your energy and joy and sparkle. If doing makeup videos makes you happy, then make them. Following your schedule is amazing. Getting up and doing things, is amazing. You are building your ladder with all those little steps. You don't have to feel sorry about struggling. You don't have to pretend and slap on a smile. We are here. I am here. If you need someone to talk to let me know, and I will give you my email. The fact that you are struggling sucks and is an ugly fact of life. But you keep fighting and going, and that is both powerful and beautiful.
Ah, Dear Torrin, you've brought me so much happiness and taught me so much about hair. I'm sorry you are struggling now and hope that you can make it through the dark, hard times and back to some genuine, just for you, happiness. Don't worry about not being able to perform now. Your work is still all ovah the internet and your fans will manage. You are a wise and deeply valuable person and you deserve peace, contentment and love.
No need to apologize - I'm sorry you're having a hard time. This year has just been really sucky is so many ways. Just take care of yourself & do what works for you. I put myself on a news fast recently & only started dipping my toe back in for my own sanity. & I think we all should be in therapy because we've all got issues. Here's to supportive partners & lovely puppies! Don't worry about content. I watch all your vids, whenever you post & I'm sure the rest the lovelies are the same. :)
Amazon does gift wrapping! It’s usually a nice quality drawstring gift bag. I love their bags but not sure if they do it different during the holidays. Feel better!
Oh honey, you got me crying. I sooo understand what your going through, it’s tough. Your doing better than me though, I’ve not been out of bed for 2 weeks, there just isn’t anything to look forward to with this COVID malarkey. The hair loss and reduced immune system could be menopause related, I’m having the same issues. I have no answers, I just tell myself it’s temporary and I will pull out of it. You are not alone, huge hugs xxx
Hugs, Kitsi. Some days my getting out of bed involves changing into fresh jammies and cuddling on the couch with the puppies and promptly going back to sleep. I still count that as a win. Try the couch tomorrow! It's still a win.💜💜💜
@@torrinpaige If only I could. Because of covid we can no longer afford to pay for storage, so our living room is now full of stuff. My allergies have flared up and I have eczema on my eyelids around my mouth and on my hands. I cant do anything. Buuut I have decided bugger it, I'll just have to let it get worse whilst I clear stuff out. If I could do my art I'd feel better, fingers crossed I can see well enough soon. Chin up my dear, we shall prevail 😉
Behind you was awesome! You do you, do what you can manage. Depression sucks. I think of it like a heavy stinking gray fog that blocks between me and my emotions. It sucks the energy out of me, it sucks the joy out of me, it separates me from reality, in a way. Medication helps, and openness helps, and therapy helps. YOU HAVE HELPED by making this video!!!!!
I feel the same. It's like antidepressants are just managing it but not beating it. I'm so tired and don't want to do anything and have just been doing for my dad because he's needed so much help here lately. Some doctors use video calls so you can try and see if your doctor is doing that.
I think most folks are struggling this year - there's a LOT going on! It's totally OK to struggle. I'm really sorry you've got so much to deal with this year, plus the additional lack of family holidays, plus plus plus. Not filled with rage is good; I'm glad you mention going back to the doc when the spike is over. Is there any way you can do tele-med and talk someone on your medical team, if you can't go in and get tests done? I only ask because I've had a couple really rough patches (depression AND hormones, unrelated, woo! *jazz hands*) that turned out to be medication related. (Not by any means suggesting I have any magic here.) But if it's an available fix, why not take it? I'll even toast you with my pill bottles if it helps. ;-) Sending you lots of love from the opposite corner of the States. Here's hoping we all find our way to contentment soonish.
Just prior to my thyroid cancer diagnosis (and after when we yanked it out) my hair got a lot thinner. I’m thinking of you, and I hope they figure out what it is. ❤️
I've been there, with the depression and the mystery autoimmune traitorous body - AND, most importantly, I've come through the stay-in-bed low point you're at. I've been wanting to ask you to do some super easy hairstyles, even if you've done them before. I am physically not up to much of anything right now, and I'm overwhelmed by searching old videos. It could be a whole series of depression/quarantine/frail-Victorian-who-will-swoon-if-she-holds-her arms-up-for-too-long styles. For reals, even if you posted a 2 minute video of yourself doing the simplest English braid without makeup or upbeat commentary, it would give me an attainable way to make my life better. Right now, I'm at the level where I feel like I deserve a medal for getting into the habit of at least brushing my hair every day, and I think that's true of a lot of people.
Clarification: I hope that didn't come off as demanding. You should be thinking about and caring for yourself alone right now. But if you do feel like making a video, I want you to know that we'd love it even if it's not up to your usual high standards - or maybe we'd love it even more because the world is not normal right now and little things mean the most.
Thank you so much for your words, so much of what you shared strikes a chord with so many of us. Love you🌷
*love to everyone who's struggling!* ♥
you're not broken. you're sensitive. and it's beautiful.
lovelies, please be extra lovely to yourself right now. we're collectively going through a lot. you're valuable no matter your looks or mental state.
let's get through this together! 🤗
Thanks for sharing about the hair loss. I have experience this as well. It's so hard, especially when hair is such a big part of our identity as women. YAY for the green screen working!
So much love to you! You've been a ray of sunshine in my TH-cam subscription feed for well over a decade, but never feel as though you're typecast and pigeonholed and forced into being sunshiny all the time. That's not realistic or healthy. This year has been A YEAR, and your feelings are valid!
Prayers and hugs to you. I don’t know what to say about the depression but i hope you can see a doctor soon. You have been through so much❤️please hang onto any little bit of happiness and cling on to it and try to build. There are some great people and channels here on youtube for help. I have been going thru some stuff and youtube has been a great help. Luckily i have bounced back from devastation several times but sadly the stress had made my hair thin too😞but im working with what i have before just decide to do a major trim. We are much more than “hair”❤️ for your channel im sure your lovelies appreciate any type of video you share. Thanks for your openness about what you are going thru. Im sure there are many people thinking and praying for you even more now, including me🥰
Sending love Torrin. Thanks for being honest and open. I experienced hair loss from extreme stress and anxiety. Hope you can take time for your mental health. Therapy has been so helpful for me. Take care of yourself Torrin ✌️ 💕
Bottom line is you have to do what makes you happy. This has been a tough year! I could tell you were not truly happy in the hair video. I do care about you and wish you the best. Some days I just stay in bed too. We will persevere! Fight the good fight. 😘
Just a suggestion here - maybe it would be worth getting your vitamin D levels checked. If I don't take my vit D supplements every day I soon feel awful and full of suppressed rage. A friend of mine has hair loss and her doctor suggested trying vitamin D to see if it helps. Also there is is some evidence coming out that low vitamin D levels can cause covid to be much worse if you do get it. Don't let people nag you to just go out in the sun more - this doesn't always help, everybodys different, get the proffesional help you need, there's no shame in it. Cognative behavioural therapy really helped my husbands depression when he was first diagnosed with MS. Don't worry about the lack of hair videos I enjoy the make up ones and would really like some more 'cooking with Torrin' videos!
Hi Torrin, I've never interacted with your content before besides watching here on TH-cam for a long time now and maybe a comment or two on your random lives. I finally found a reason to finally tell you I have looked up to you in a lot of ways, which may sound silly to you but you're a major inspiration to me.
Your hair caught my attention, of course, in that I've never seen someone with the EXACT same color hair as me! But I have also experienced major (might I add, random) hair loss recently which was heartbreaking, and knowing you're experiencing too is also heartbreaking, at the same time knowing that I'm not alone in this is really comforting.
I don't mean to be sappy but this video really spoke to me and brought me to tears. I hope that things look up for you, and know that you're not a failure in anyway.
I'm here for anything you choose to upload, anything goes. This is your channel! Much love! :)
Love you girl. I felt depression before, and I’m starting to feel it now. It does suck. Hang in there.
Hurt feelings need doctors just like broken legs do! We can’t make our bones whole anymore than we can force our pituitary, or whatever make the neurotransmitter we need, or force the neurons to uptake them properly!
I’m so sorry you’re struggling with depression. I’ve fought with it for close to 20 years now (WOW, I now feel ANCIENT). And I think what’s so hard to articulate about it is that it’s not always sadness. It’s just... apathy. Disinterest. Feeling overwhelmed by existing. Sadness is so much meatier. Feels like something you can deal with. Get through. What do you do when you just don’t care? It’s rough. Please just keep fighting through and reach out if it reaches a scary level. Don’t stay silent. 💜
Take care of yourself Torrin. That’s the important thing.
My hair fell out about 5 years ago, largely due to medications I needed to be on at the time - it got to the point of being about half as thick as it was 6 months earlier. Some of it came back but not all, and I admit that’s when I largely stopped watching the hair vids, because I just wanted to put it up and hide how thin it was. It’s falling out again from stress since my brother passed away from some really severe form of autoimmune haemolytic anaemia, and I discovered I also have inherited genetic risk markers for autoimmune disorders from my mum. I agree with all the folks speaking about vitamin D. I take a supplement every day, but my doc says my levels are still “sub-optimal”. I’m a cranky nightmare to deal with and get really depressed if I haven’t taken any in a while.
Totally with you on the social media thing. I dropped off Facebook shortly after the election. I was so disgusted and heartbroken at the ignorance that I had to check out for my own sanity. Hugs to you!
My best girlfriend from college has Fibromyalgia. After many many MANY rounds with her doc she got a diagnosis (it was seriously years). They had her switch to a low inflammation diet, and her hair and nails started to come back. NOT like they were before, but some. Once you get a diagnosis that can open a lot of treatment options.
Who do we talk to, a nutritionist ? So hard to know where to go for help❣️
@@barbielee7523 Exactly! Her Fibro doctor told her she could start with meds, diet/exercise, or a combo of both. She went with both, she got referred to a dietitian or nutritionist (I don't remember which) started water aerobics (pre pandemic) and started medication. She's never going to "get better" it's a lifelong condition, but she feels like she's managing it now, and that feeling can be life changing.
I don't have any words of advice, I'm pretty much where you're at right now. Hair is falling out, I'm gaining weight, I'm feeling blah. And I hate it. I hate this for you. I'm sending love to you, you're a beautiful soul and we all care for you. We will see the other side of this, we just have to be patient with ourselves. Please take care, beautiful.
We'll be okay, I know this. It just sucks right now, eh? Blah. Love back atcha!
I am very lucky to have someone who will give me a laugh when I need one. I have been depressed and it is because of spending so much time in my home. Work has been very sparse, my husband and I have been having trouble paying our bills fully, he lost his job after being there for nearly two years because our local office for the Department of Licensing dropped the ball and didn't submit his medical card for his CDL to the State Dept. of Licensing. He has been without his CDL for over a year and because of this he now has to retake the knowledge test and the skills test and he was fired from his job. They were acting like it was all my husband's fault that things weren't taken care of. I used to be pretty extroverted, but after lockdown happened, i started getting anxious about being anywhere but home. It has gotten a little better. I know depression is real because I have had it before. Hang in there Torrin. I know it will get better soon. I'll be praying for you.
Treatment for mental illness problems has disappeared since Reagan. So much of our trouble in society today is due to untreated mental illness. We need to make it a priority in our society. Take care. You are loved
I love your makeup! Gothic Ballerina is perfect!
Depression sucks. I'm sorry you have to deal with it. Take care. Sending lots of good thoughts your way. 💞
Loving the background. I think a lot of people have the Winter blues; Daylight Saving Time messes up a person's inner clock. We used to have celebrations honoring how the sun fades away and the darkness of Winter closes in. Back in my 20s I got very sick with an unknown ailment where I lost about 1/3 of my hair. I cried and cried fearing I was going bald. I didn't go bald but my hair never grew back. My daughter Miss Beff lost almost 40% of her hair and it has grown back. This year I'm getting really brave and asking my mom to come to my house for Christmas (we don't get along very well and I haven't seen her in several years cuz my wheelchair can't make it up the stairs to her house). Take a deep breath and know that your Lovlies Love You!
Love you, babe. We're all here for you. xoxo
My hair has thinned out so much! I feel you on this. I also have to keep my nails short because they split. Love your background! For hair, I've been doing scalp massages along with taking Sugarbear Hair Vitamins and it seems to be helping. I have issues with my scalp itching and getting sore spots so I had to stop using a lot of my favorite hair things. I did find a nice all natural shampoo bar and conditioner that my scalp has accepted. You're not alone in the struggle with depression. Same with Social Media. This year has been a over the top! I hope and pray 2021 will be better for us all. Thank God for grown up husbands! I can't remember the last time I've cooked. Take care of yourself!
I can't imagine how devastating a hair fall must be for you! And missing your family at Christmas. 2020 has been quite a year. Feel better. I know I'm not alone in this: I care about you, not because you make videos, but because you're a decent, compassionate, loving human. Depression sucks. I hope it passes soon. 🧡💙💛❤
My heart just hurt for you, listening to you share your struggles. I am so sorry you are going through all this 😢😢. I will be praying that you get some answers. I know how hard it is being a “mystery patient”. Please don’t feel pressure at all to do any hair videos, or any videos for that matter. Your health and mental well-being mean way more than videos! Hugs to you, my sweet friend 💜.
love the skyrim backround!! .........im in this with you! i wish mine would go away!
I let out a lil squee when I realised it was Skyrim LOL
@@EnchantedAlana
You know although you are such a positive vibe here on YT, please don’t feel obligated to be/do anything! This video helped me realise that hey I can be a positive/generally happy inclined person who has depression too. You’re like that, and me too!! Just keep taking care of yourself, the little stuff, and know you’ll get through it. X
I had hair shedding, thinning for a year. I found out it was my anti inflammation medications. Aleve and topical steroids was causing it. My hair is now back to it's original thickness after a year of stopping those meds. Note that NSAIDS cause hair loss.
Hi Torrin, I’ve never commented on your channel before but felt compelled to like a lot of the others here. I hate to see you struggle like this & I think you’re brave for being so open. Please don’t think you’re alone in the battle with depression. It’s an awful place to be. Last week I felt so terribly low & couldn’t hold it together at all. This year has been so brutal for many of us.
I feel you on the hair loss. I’ve been experiencing it too. It’s so upsetting. I blame it all on my hormones😖 I’ve been taking biotin pills every day, using a caffeine shampoo and sprinkling nutritional yeast of my food, and the shedding has definitely not been so bad. I hope you can find a solution that’s right for you.
I love your channel. You’re such a fun and creative lady. Please be good to yourself, you’re much appreciated❤️
All the hugs to you! We're twins in the worst ways. Besides hair loss, I'm at the same point in my Twitch channel where I'm just doing what I'm gonna do, what I want to do, and people watch less. But ohh well. I'm really glad to see every video you do. We'll just keep on keeping on. People hate unsolicited advice but I have to recommend Viviscal if you care to try a hair supplement. It works for tons of people, and I saw results in 2 weeks. I'm still torn on the pieces that I can't tell if they're damage or new growth, but besides those, I see another whole wave of baby hairs coming in and seeing the new baby hairs helps my sadness a lot. I'm now sure I have growth. I found out about Viviscal from a hair professional in a lupus group. It helps hair loss that happens for many reasons, not just autoimmune. A bunch of people replied to her saying, "Yes, this worked for me!" I was like, what the heck. So I tried it, and it's working for me as well. Many hugs to you, you're not alone. I'm a mess. I'm miserable. I feel LOST, just lost. All the time. But we depressed people are all going through it together...which helps a teeny bit. We aren't alone.
Sorry, always writing novels, but seriously thank you for this video. Thank you, thank you. I'm gonna push myself to stream tonight. I'm SUPPOSED to, tonight is part of my schedule, but I was going to blow it off, my mood is so bad. But seeing you doing this video made me realize I can do it. You did your video, I can do my stream. It's good for us to do our things. Thanks again.
Love you, Linds!
I've been feeling the same way! I started antidepressants around April and since then its helped with my anxiety but covid has made my depression so bad. Its hard to enjoy anything anymore but I keep pushing through. You're definitely not alone
I'm kind of in the same boat. We know it's an immune disorder but not which one. Yes, my hair is thinner. It's common to be low in vitamin D with an immune disorder and it's easy to check.
Great background. Grey eye shadow is good on you. Have your vitamin B and D levels checked. I think that you are hanging in there and doing well. You are dealing with a lot yet you keep on keeping on. Good for you!
Sending best wishes from Australia 🧡 You've brought me and I'm sure a lot of people a lot of joy over the years, and I hope you hear how much we care about you. I've been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease this year among other things and it's hard. I hope you get some answers and some help very soon.
We love you, Torrin!
Hey Torrin, I've never commented on your videos before but I feel like I should share something with you. A little over two years ago (almost to the day) I made the gutwrenchingly difficult decision to cut off contact with my abusive mother. Ever since I've been slowly-but-surely working on re-mothering myself (being the mother that I needed but never had, not only to my 3-year-old daughter, but to myself as well). And one of the things I've done is invent an imaginary mother. I know to some that may sound sad or even cuckoo, but it's helped immensely. I've had conversations with this mother about things going on in my life, asked her for advice or comfort, etc. I've never lost touch with reality while doing this and know very well that she's imaginary, but she's nonetheless helped me see not only what I SHOULD have had growing up, but also who I want to be for my own daughter. It just so happens that she is the spitting image of you - and this happened before I even came across your channel. I actually stopped and clicked on one of your videos, in fact, because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Since then, I've watched your videos just so I could have something concrete to listen to that reminded me of my Ideal mother.
I also found out that you and I have a highly coincidental number of things in common- particularly in the emotional sphere of things. I never said this before because I didn't want to sound weird, but I feel like you should know how important you are to someone out there, in case you ever doubt that. You could talk about knitting - or literally nothing - and I would still want to hear what you have to say. So if hair videos aren't going to work for you anymore because of your health, that is a-ok with me. Mental health is something that needs to be talked about more openly, and I hope you never have to feel like you can't talk about it the way I do. I've deleted my social media and hardly talk to anyone besides a few immediate family members. I don't consider myself to have any real friends anymore, and despite being extremely busy as a mother, partner and full-time student it still gets to me every day. I also have bipolar disorder and decided to transition off of meds a few months ago, so that has been a challenge and I've experienced that daily rage (and confusion, memory problems, etc.) you describe. I'm a procrastinator like you but at the same time a lot of my laziness can be attributed to depression, and I probably beat myself up too much for it. Luckily I'm beyond blessed to have a really good man, like you. He and my daughter are the only things that get me out of bed sometimes, and being there for then is truly all I can do some days but I manage - by the skin of my teeth. Sometimes all you really need is that one thing to keep you going as you get better. I'm not getting any younger, and the idea of getting better seems so impossibly foreign it's laughable, as I'm sure it probably does to you at times, but I have to keep wanting for myself what I would want to happen for my own daughter if she were in my shoes. Hopefully you feel a little less alone reading these comments. Last year was definitely difficult, and I only hope that it serves to increase our empathy for one another.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time. This year has been crazy for a lot of us. I also went through hair loss. It lasted for a few months and then got better. I hope yours does too. You're amazing and we love you! I had ppd and it was terrible so, yes depression is real and scary and I'm sending you love and good vibes.
Will always love your videos, hair styles or not. You're such a wonderful person, its great just to hear you chat
My son used to wear his hair mid-back length. His wife's sister is a hairdresser, and he used to have her give him haircuts and such. But then he started losing his hair on top, when he was a little too young for it to be male pattern baldness. The hairdresser said it was the weight of all that hair pulling on his follicles, and she cut his hair to not much more than shoulder length. It stopped falling out.
I had heart surgery to correct an "arhythmia" a few weeks ago. I did get a lot of my original energy level back, but some of the drugs they've prescribed have lots of weird side effects. But at least I had to be tested for COVID, and I didn't have it. So please accept some virtual hugs from a crazy old Witch with purple hair.
I've typically been a lurker, and don't say or comment anything, but I have to this time.
Listen here lady. Don't you be sorry about it, any of it. You have nothing to be sorry about. You have to take care of you first, and if that means not uploading, or not feeling it, or not being in the creative mood, then that is absolutely fine.
I've also had to deal with a lot of shedding and thinning hair(thanks, pcos!) so I understand where you are coming from. And if you want to do lots of makeup videos, then do them! Just because your channel may have started as a hair channel, doesn't mean your pigeonholed into only doing hair videos. Make whatever makes you HAPPY. Make what sparks your joy and lights your smile.
You're right. Depression does suck. So don't do things that make your stress worse. Do things that help you feel better. Dealing with depression is harder than dealing with pain, because depression sucks your energy and joy and sparkle. If doing makeup videos makes you happy, then make them.
Following your schedule is amazing. Getting up and doing things, is amazing. You are building your ladder with all those little steps. You don't have to feel sorry about struggling. You don't have to pretend and slap on a smile. We are here. I am here. If you need someone to talk to let me know, and I will give you my email.
The fact that you are struggling sucks and is an ugly fact of life. But you keep fighting and going, and that is both powerful and beautiful.
Ah, Dear Torrin, you've brought me so much happiness and taught me so much about hair. I'm sorry you are struggling now and hope that you can make it through the dark, hard times and back to some genuine, just for you, happiness. Don't worry about not being able to perform now. Your work is still all ovah the internet and your fans will manage. You are a wise and deeply valuable person and you deserve peace, contentment and love.
Please take care of yourself! I hope you're able to find out what's causing all the problems soon and that it can be treated accordingly.
No need to apologize - I'm sorry you're having a hard time. This year has just been really sucky is so many ways. Just take care of yourself & do what works for you. I put myself on a news fast recently & only started dipping my toe back in for my own sanity. & I think we all should be in therapy because we've all got issues. Here's to supportive partners & lovely puppies! Don't worry about content. I watch all your vids, whenever you post & I'm sure the rest the lovelies are the same. :)
Amazon does gift wrapping! It’s usually a nice quality drawstring gift bag. I love their bags but not sure if they do it different during the holidays. Feel better!
Oh honey, you got me crying. I sooo understand what your going through, it’s tough. Your doing better than me though, I’ve not been out of bed for 2 weeks, there just isn’t anything to look forward to with this COVID malarkey. The hair loss and reduced immune system could be menopause related, I’m having the same issues. I have no answers, I just tell myself it’s temporary and I will pull out of it. You are not alone, huge hugs xxx
Hugs, Kitsi. Some days my getting out of bed involves changing into fresh jammies and cuddling on the couch with the puppies and promptly going back to sleep. I still count that as a win. Try the couch tomorrow! It's still a win.💜💜💜
@@torrinpaige If only I could. Because of covid we can no longer afford to pay for storage, so our living room is now full of stuff.
My allergies have flared up and I have eczema on my eyelids around my mouth and on my hands. I cant do anything. Buuut I have decided bugger it, I'll just have to let it get worse whilst I clear stuff out.
If I could do my art I'd feel better, fingers crossed I can see well enough soon.
Chin up my dear, we shall prevail 😉
Behind you was awesome! You do you, do what you can manage. Depression sucks. I think of it like a heavy stinking gray fog that blocks between me and my emotions. It sucks the energy out of me, it sucks the joy out of me, it separates me from reality, in a way. Medication helps, and openness helps, and therapy helps. YOU HAVE HELPED by making this video!!!!!
I feel the same. It's like antidepressants are just managing it but not beating it. I'm so tired and don't want to do anything and have just been doing for my dad because he's needed so much help here lately. Some doctors use video calls so you can try and see if your doctor is doing that.
It can't rain all the time. Hugs.
Torrin I sincerely send you lots of love
This year has sucked so bad.. I lost my job and I feel hopeless.
I think most folks are struggling this year - there's a LOT going on! It's totally OK to struggle. I'm really sorry you've got so much to deal with this year, plus the additional lack of family holidays, plus plus plus.
Not filled with rage is good; I'm glad you mention going back to the doc when the spike is over. Is there any way you can do tele-med and talk someone on your medical team, if you can't go in and get tests done? I only ask because I've had a couple really rough patches (depression AND hormones, unrelated, woo! *jazz hands*) that turned out to be medication related. (Not by any means suggesting I have any magic here.) But if it's an available fix, why not take it? I'll even toast you with my pill bottles if it helps. ;-)
Sending you lots of love from the opposite corner of the States. Here's hoping we all find our way to contentment soonish.
The *jazz hands* made me giggle, Shann. Razzle dazzle, babe!
Just prior to my thyroid cancer diagnosis (and after when we yanked it out) my hair got a lot thinner. I’m thinking of you, and I hope they figure out what it is. ❤️
We love you Torrin 💚
I've been there, with the depression and the mystery autoimmune traitorous body - AND, most importantly, I've come through the stay-in-bed low point you're at.
I've been wanting to ask you to do some super easy hairstyles, even if you've done them before. I am physically not up to much of anything right now, and I'm overwhelmed by searching old videos. It could be a whole series of depression/quarantine/frail-Victorian-who-will-swoon-if-she-holds-her arms-up-for-too-long styles. For reals, even if you posted a 2 minute video of yourself doing the simplest English braid without makeup or upbeat commentary, it would give me an attainable way to make my life better. Right now, I'm at the level where I feel like I deserve a medal for getting into the habit of at least brushing my hair every day, and I think that's true of a lot of people.
Clarification: I hope that didn't come off as demanding. You should be thinking about and caring for yourself alone right now. But if you do feel like making a video, I want you to know that we'd love it even if it's not up to your usual high standards - or maybe we'd love it even more because the world is not normal right now and little things mean the most.
That's okay...I love you, baby.
Sending hugs 💖💖💖
Dude, stop apologising. Everyone who matters in the slightest gets it. Hope you can figure out everything with your docs soon and feel better x
My hair is thinning too. Think it might also be a hormone thing, a 40s thing.
One of the side effects of wellbutrin is hair loss.
If it attacks your hair and nails, could it be a form of Alopecia?
❤❤❤❤❤
Alopecia?
Naw, I've got some traction alopecia to be sure (so many tight buns) but this is more of an all over thing. Le sigh.