Thankyou so much you've given me a reason to live. My list: I want to hold a baby pig I want to grow up in the country side I want 2 dogs I want one friend that stays with me my entire life I want a daughter that likes making daisy chains in the summer And a son that is so passionate about his hobbie whether it be dance, football or whatever I want a to laugh a billion laughs and to cry a billion crys And finally watch 13 reasons why👊🏻
Ava Tolfa 😢😢😢 that was so inspirational, I’m quite happy w/ my life right now but I still was inspired by your message. People struggling with depression, anxiety or bullying NEED to read this and be inspired too. I’m sorry your life had to be that was but it’s really nice that you know that none of those rude words matter. Thank you for inspiring me and bringing light to this world!😊
Everyone looking through the comments look at this: -your wrists aren't paper so don't cut them -your neck isn't a coat so don't hang it -your head isn't a target so don't shoot it -God gave you life, so whatever you do, please don't take it.
This 28 minutes has done more for me than any talks, therapy, anything has ever done. Thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone. I love you so much.
I showed my mom this.. she started crying with me and we told eachother what we need to do to solve this and we did thank you so so so much Eva. Your truly s blessing and I thank u more than words can describe 💗
live you are an amazing person someone and even many people love you keep on living there is light at the end of the tunnel all of the bad things will end love your self laugh have fun love life.
+Ella Bella are you stupid? She said her respect for Eva has grown, not started. Grown shows that even though she already had a lot of respect for Eva, after watching this video she had even more.
My list :- ~to have my best friend back ~to overcome my anxiety ~to have a boyfriend who will truely love me and not just play with my feelings ~to be a queen like Eva
Hello person who is scrolling through the comments. I would just like to say your a beautiful person no matter what people think. If your thinking about committing suicide plz don't. There are a lot of things that you'll miss out on and the things to look forward to. I hope you have an amazing day or night or afternoon!
Katelyn Ganesh - Sir Isaac Brock PS (1417) it's going to be okay. Don't let negative people put you down in your own way your unique and even though I'm not in your position I know like once you get these terrible people out of your life your in control. I hope your okay
"I thought the only way people would understand how much they were hurting me was if I was gone" I can't tell you how many times I've thought that I thought that just yesterday
BoggessBroadway you deserve everything in this world, you deserve happiness and endless love. People can be hateful and nasty. Stay positive and spread love. ✨♥️
BoggessBroadway you are worth it. you are loved. God created you so intricately, so thoughtfully, so wonderfully. i love you. God is your strength, you are strong.
- I want to smile - I want to have clear skin - I want to fall in love for the first time in the 20 years of my life - I want to escape my country and raise my future babies in an environment that won't make them struggle the way it happened to their mumma for believing in what she believes in
When Eva said she’s gonna say suicide, I didn’t care. I said it in my head every night. But this video changed my perspective of life. Honestly, I almost killed myself one night. That was the night I saw this video though. Eva, if you somehow see this comment, I am so, so thankful for this video. You saved my whole life. Thank you so much.
Syeda Ayrah god bless you and please don't kill yourself you have so much to live for your amazing and beautiful and precious and your family would be really upset, I know it's really rough this year but we'll get through it!
I never tried to hurt myself but when my pappy died he was the best grandpa in the world pappy was always sick I was at silver dollar city and when I got home we had so much food and my mom and dad were at the store when I got home all my family was sitting at the couch my mom told me that my pappy died and when I herd those to words my heart stopped and I than I felt like throwing up I got so mentally sick I just told my big sister I had no friends that year but my mom and my sister helped me
Thank you for your sympathy and empathy for others. Those words really make me feel like i matter to people when i am alone in the dark. -Cookie Studio
Paige Craddock and Cookie studios thank you so much I’m only in middle school so I don’t have a lot of wisdom or anything and I’ve been going to private schools all my life and I have never been through quite as much as a lot of people here and I can’t imagine how horrible that must be I hope you both feel better about whatever you are going through right now🙂
My list: - graduate college - read as many books as possible - have three dogs and we will be living in our cute little apartment with some really cute plants - help others pay for college (it will be difficult but one day I would like to do this) - finish greys anatomy because I feel like I've been watching it for years and I'm only on season 6 - inspire others - this summer my mom and I are planting a beginning garden and a garden for bees Thank u Eva u are an amazing person. I have been trough a lot as well and ur right we're in this together. Also ur hair looks amazing on u I love the color blue!!
I remember watching this years ago. I was very depressed at the time. To see you, a celebrity, be open about your depression really helped me. It made me feel less alone. Thank you for helping me stay strong enough to get through my depression 🖤
I'm only 12 years old, I've already tried to commit suicide, because of girls and boys who just hated me, who would talk about me, who would say I'm a slut for things that I never even did. Yesterday I got up in front of the class and told stuff from this video, I told everyone that I tried to kill myself. Eva you've impacted so many people by making this video, thankyou. Edit:Thanks everyone for all the support, I'm literally living an amazing life and hope that I could help more people
Cassie Marie don't worry if you do go through this, just tell someone. I know it can definitely be hard but once I told everyone what I was going through they actually thought about it. They supported me. You'll be ok
I want to be skinny I want to be popular I want to feel loved I want to feel important I want to be pretty But I never realised I am all of those... We all are all of our dreams... BUT it's only our choice if we're gonna make our own dreams come true... all we gotta do is belive
My future wants: 1. A beach house in California 2. Travel around the world 3. Surf with my idol (you) 4. Have a TH-cam channel I post on 5. Have extensions in my hair 6. Go to a college 7. Give people hope 8. Have a group of friends I belong with 9. Grow my own plants and flowers 10. Own my own car
11. Make a bucket list to complete 12. Write a book 13. Have kids and love them so much 14. Make a great cake for someone I care about 15. Be myself 16. Dye my hair a random color
17. Take after my moms and grandmothes garden 8. Get a Pug 9.adopt a kitten 10. Live in LA 11. Meet Eva because I come here to forget about my depression 12. Have people at school not make fun of me
+Kali Whalen i don't know you, but let me tell you one thing... If people make fun of you, they're not 'cool', they're not RIGHT. You know what they actually are, S T U P I D! And you know what will happen? YOU will go on and do great things in your life, they will just be stuck in high School trying to be cool. So please, do not care about what they say, cause they are wrong. P.s. I'm sorry if there are grammar errors but I'm italian and English is not my first language! 🌸
Eva, I've been watching you ever since i was 11 and I'm 16 now but not once have i commented, I've always been caught up on what was the right thing to say and how to express how much mylifeaseva means to me. I'm one of the million individuals who have come to your videos for advice and support and not once have they let me down. *You have helped me through more than you can ever imagine and I'm forever grateful for that* Thank you.
My best friend died. I thought I'd never be the same. Then my other best friend said that she was only friends with me cuz I was a loser and had no friends. I've been bullied my whole life. I've thought of ending it all. I know this might sound cheesy or corny but this video saved my life. My idols, one direction, also saved my life. But especially eva. Thank you for saving my life eva. I hope you see this
Hi, I'm Emma. I'm 15 and I have been suffering with depression and clinical anxiety. I've been bullied about my looks since I was in kindergarten. When I was 8 years old I was forcibly raped by my friends father at my first sleepover. He then proceeded to tell me that if I told anyone that he would find me and kill my family and then me. Being 8, what was I supposed to do. I was terrified. I carried it for 6 years before I was capable of telling someone. When my parents found out it wasn't through me. I was pushed into telling them, and it was scary as hell. After that happened I felt that I couldn't have friends. He made me feel unworthy of life, and unworthy of anything. I turned to food as a friend. I ate and ate and ate. I moved to a new place, and continued to stay quiet and eat alone in the bathroom. Finally in 6th grade I worked up the courage to talk to people and make friends. For the first time in a long time I felt so accepted. BUT the second I started to put myself out there I was attacked for my looks. Because I was heavier than the other girls in my grade. Random people would shout out that I was fat, as if I didn't tell myself that enough. In seventh grade people told me that I was the ugliest person they'd ever seen. They told me that there wasn't enough space in the world for me. That I was just taking up too much room. I went home and locked myself in my room before balling my eyes out and then cutting my wrists for the first time. I wore long sleeves for a while, but at one point someone noticed my scars and they said that I was an attention whore that if I wasn't doing it for attention that I would've done them somewhere else on my body. I was mortified, so I went home and cut my ankles because I always wore longer socks. But in the locker room when I was changing socks and shoes a girl came up to me and said that I shouldn't hurt myself, but rather just end it all. Take a bottle of pills and call it quits. Another girl to my right said that I shouldn't. She said instead I should just wear makeup, starve myself, and force myself to throw up. So that's what I started doing. Nothing happened though. I'm 8th grade I had enough. I had enough of the rude remarks fake profiles on Instagram to cyber bully me, and had enough of myself.. everyday was a struggle I wanted nothing more than to end it once and for all. I told my mom that I was depressed and that I had anxiety attacks. It was my final cry for help. She realized that I was hurting, and slowing down. My grades were slipping, and I wasn't hanging out with friends. My mom also noticed that I was gaining dramatic amounts of weight at a time. She took me into the doctor, and I spilled. Telling her about my problems such as depression, anxiety, being so tired that I wanted to die, and the fact that I was gaining weight and not being capable of losing it. She said she believed that I had a disorder known as hypothyroidism. And is an under active thyroid meaning I'm not getting the right hormones and I'm all unbalanced. She said that she needed blood to make sure. Anywho, I finally got news that I have an extreme case of hypothyroidism. She recommended that I try to see someone about the depression and all that. So I continued 8th grade... but I finally hit a breaking point. People were telling me to kill myself everyday. And one day I was attacked by a group of girls in the hallway. They were pushing me, calling me names. Telling me to drink bleach. Saying they wished I'd suffer. I had finally had enough. I went home and downed a whole bunch of pills I found in the medicine cabinet. I went and locked myself in the bathroom and slowly drifted to sleep in the empty bathtub. I woke up with sharp pains in my stomach and began to vomit everywhere. I was horrified, and hurting so bad. By the time I stopped I had a bad fever and was shaking from shock. I got up and walked to my parents room. Quickly I thought "they can't know. It would ruin them." So I told them I had some kind of flu and was extremely sick. I went back to my room and laid down. I cried myself to sleep that night. Finally the end of the year came and I was able to think about the future. Little did I know, this was the summer I'd tell people that I was raped. Most people were shocked. They never knew that something so horrible was done to me. It felt good to have that support that I wasn't able to have before. I'd carried it for so long, but I had finally found a place to rest. To give myself a second to breathe. I know I'll have to carry it for the rest of my life, but at least I know that I will have the help carrying it. After I told people, others would reach out to me and tell me their stories. For a second I didn't feel so alone. I was so excited to start high school! Everyone told me that everything would change. BUT being me of course something had to go wrong. I broke my entire foot and had to start high school on a support scooter. Ugh. Could life hate me a little more? Anyway.. I started high school and it was really fun. I had a friend group and not long after did I have a boyfriend. I fell, and I fell hard. He made me so happy. He helped me through so much. I had never felt so loved in my entire life. But of course I snapped out of fairyland when 6 months after we'd dated and fallen for each other he broke up with me. And did it with a smile on his face. Reality smashed into me like a brick wall. I was devastated. It was out of nowhere. I ditched class and sat in my brothers car for the rest of the day. Incapable of feeling a thing. I sat and stared off into the distance. I felt alone again. He helped me through so much and then dropped me like a hot potato. I shattered. I went into a deep depression and my mom signed me up for a shrink. She was nuts, but I liked talking to her. It kinda helped, but I'd prefer to keep it all in, so I acted as if everything was okay until I couldn't. I broke down in front of her and she was scared shitless. She wanted to send me to a mental institute because she was very worried that I'd end my life if I didn't get the serious help I needed. But being me I told my mom I was fine, and that I just needed a good cry. She believed me and I went on being depressed, but wearing a fake smile. I was truly miserable. Life at school became worse, lost friends and lost hope. My ex and I started talking again, and eventually became a secret couple and started where we left off. I ended up leaving the school after a terrible rumor was spread about me. I transferred into a homeschool program, and was beyond happy about it. The people I met there were incredible. Everyone was so nice! My teachers became my friends along with other students. My family then notified me. "Hey we're moving to a new state at the end of the school year" I got really excited because it meant fresh start! I became great friends with multiple people including my 26 year old gay math tutor who was married to another 26 year old gay teacher at the school. And they'd always hang out with me, and talk to me about everything. They'd share their pasts and things that happened to them. I felt so at home. And I still do. In five days I'm moving to Montana. My school has been so accepting and so sweet and I could never thank them enough for making me feel good when nobody else could. Also a big thanks to my family. Without them I would have taken my life by now. My brother and I are two peas in a pod and I couldn't be more happy to watch him graduate in three days. I'm so proud to call him my brother. And to my parents, although sometimes we butt heads I couldn't have asked for better people to raise me. Everyone please, stay strong. I'm trying to, and will continue trying. Let me know if I should start a TH-cam channel, and please feel free to share your stories with me. I know I've shared more than enough with you. I love you Eva. Thank you for being such an incredible inspiration in my life. I love you all. Keep your heads high!
Emma-Kay Sharpe I'm speechless thank you for sharing with us your story it means a lot,even if it's hard to talk abt those hurtful events. Spreadlove ❤️
Please, middle schoolers, high schoolers, and beyond ... listen to all of this. Please understand this. Think about it and write about how you feel. You can do this. Thank you Eva. This is what the internet needs.
i remember watching this video when i was in high school i cried though the whole thing bc i was so depressed but here I'm 3 years later in college still struggling with my mental health crying to what she's saying . If you're reading this please pray for me and if you feel like you want to give up on yourself please don't
praying for you, you're a strong person 🌞 i pray that you are given and covered in light and strength everyday even in your darkest moments! Bless up!!!
I can relate to this so much as someone who has held a knife to their chest twice. I hate when no one takes you seriously and you think your only choice is suicide it's just a problem that so many people don't recognize and it's so hard when you have no one to talk to. It's also hard to have those people who tell you, "Oh stop being so dramatic. Get up on your feet and get back to reality, no one has done anything to hurt you you have no right to be depressed". They don't realize that THIS IS REALITY and even though people haven't physically hurt me, they have emotionally hurt me. Emotional pain is just as bad if not worse than physical pain.
Anastasia Shanahan aww, don't listen to them, they never know. Block out the negativity on your life, have hope, stay strong and know that you're not alone *sending virtual hugs ❤❤❤
Anastasia Shanahan stay strong and remember there are always people here for you and who want to listen to you and care for you, even us internet strangers 😂❤️
-I want to loose my belly fat -I want to get good grades so me and my parents can be proud of something that I did -I want to be happy just like u. -And I want to be like u Eva. I love u u r amazing and u r my role model. Thank for this. God bless ur heart. U saved me. I love u so much
I want -To fall in love with someone who loves me as deeply and fiercely as I love them -Friends that will defend me and pull me up when I'm down -Friends who won't use me -Friends that won't put me down -To be able to follow both of my passions (medicine and music) -To be happy with myself -To love myself -To have a big pretty house with -A cute husband that loves me for me -A bunch of animals (dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, hamsters, everything) -A huge library with tons of books -Plenty of sunlight and plants -To change the world by providing health care in places where those people wouldn't otherwise get it -To be happy -To feel the sunshine on my face -To feel ALIVE
Its Clarke I want To be a journalist Live in la ( I'm live in Australia now) Have lily as a friend (lily is a really nice girl in my grade who cares and goes through depression with me ) have a caring boyfriend I will edit this is 2 days and say what has happened ...
Its Clarke - I want to be loved - I want to be and author - I want to be an artist - I want to be better and nice to people - I want to forget about suicide and wanting to kill my self - I want a cat - I want to be free - I want to see God - I want I want I want
I want... -to achieve my goals -to make my grades higher -to forget my suicidal thoughts -to make everyone happy and not fight ever again -to be cared and loved for -to make myself happy -to make my autistic brother happy and be in a normal condition -to make my parents happy and proud -to train my dog and let her be happy -to be nice to everyone more -to be an actress -to be a model -to travel around the world -to not have fake people in my life -to not let other people bring me down -to not be negative -to be positive in every way!
Dear Its Clarke, Do you have any idea how long I cried after reading this comment? I cried for about an hour (add another after Eva's video) I literally made a list that has EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE. I hid it away a long time ago knowing I would never be able to fulfill any of them. But today my whole world was flipped rightside up. I cried so long, mostly because it was almost like a copy of all my wishes... But you forgot one... -I want someone to understand me and everything I went through. I wanted to thank you for allowing me to cross at least one of my wishes. Though I don't know you, please, please email me at puppiezfurever@gmail.com . I would love to speak to you. Show me someone cares. Love, someone hurt long enough
I don't want empathy. I don't want hate. I just want for people to read this, and relate. Back when I was about 13, in 8th grade, these group of girls would walk up to me, 3rd period, in between classes. They'd call me things, terrible things that I can't even imagine to start telling you. I'd miss 3rd period, and go and hide somewhere. Sometimes the bathroom, sometimes other places. I remember this continued with those same girls everyday until junior year of high school. One day, I remember I was in school, in the bathroom missing 3rd period, and writing a list of things for people to read when I'm gone. A janitor walked in to clean the bathrooms, and she saw the list. I closed the book but it she already saw it. That was my first time going to 3rd period since 8th grade. I remember wiping the tears, right before walking into the classroom. My teacher didn't even know who I was. Weeks went on, and the janitor everyday came into that bathroom, and one day she said "Are you okay?" That's all I needed. I said everything bothering me, everything happening. I shared my story, she shared hers. I told her about the girls, I told her about my abusive stepfather, which I didn't tell anyone. We told each other everything, and for the first time In a while, I related to someone. I told her not to tell anyone, which she ended up doing. Im very glad she did, however. She told my principal, my mother, and I opened up with my mother. Later that month she kicked her husband out, and they got a divorce, and those girls had suspension for a while. for the first time in a while, I felt safe, and secure. From there, things only went up. My mother found a lovely man, who loved her, and loved me, too. They got married, and they ended up having my step-sister, who's now in 2nd grade. (Huge age gap, I know.) My mother finished college, and became a lawyer, and my step-father became a small business owner. We moved from a studio apartment to a 3 bedroom house in California. And although things are rough, remember, once you hit rock bottom, there's one way to go, and thats up.
i promise you there will be i know this is just some stupid comment from a youtube section but you will have a happy ending no matter how long it takes
I have never had to deal with depression, but I can picture how this is going to help people so much. You have really opened up a whole side that I have never thought of before. If I had depression, you would have just saved my life. You are SUCH AN AMAZING PERSON. I am so happy for you and stay positive! Love you.
I usually never write comments, but i really need to say this.. i loved this video. I loved it because it's real and honest and youtubers don't normally post something so sincere. When i watch your videos i think your life is pretty amazing because you travel a lot and have great friends and it always looks so fun, but seeing this is truly inspiring. I had no idea that you went through so much because i haven't read the book. It's really helpful to hear from someone who knows it does get better when one's feeling down. So, thank you for that.
Marlena Taczarek i did too it was amazing and so inspirational. i feel blessed to have her to look up to or to have i guess not exactly in my life but feel like she gets it she understands.
thank you for this eva...I have major depression and anxiety, and i am going to a therapist...you help me eva, all day, just a smile from you makes my day, so thank you, for everything
I cried. I cried during this video and it wasn't because of her relation to the show it was her advice. Ava you made life sound worth living. Thank you. Thank you so much❤
Eva! It has been almost 4 years since I watched this video right when you posted it. I was going through such a tough time back then, and I took your advice and wrote a stupid list. I truly believed i'd get these things when I reach the age of 50 lmao. Not too long ago, I came across the list again. I totally forgot about the list and I was shocked because every single item on that list, I now have. And I am also in a much better place now then where I was 4 years ago. It only took 4 years for me to achieve that list. I have many lists and journal entries since this video, and I just want to thank you for helping me eva. I love you very much T_T I hope you're well too
Just wanna share my experience with all of you here that was never shared until this very moment: depression and anxiety drove me crazy for the past years, mainly because of academic pressure (I come from Hong Kong it's just a hell of scholastic kids competing for college places), all the freaking hate people give to me through cyber-bullying, threat messages and boycotting because of all the posts I hold in school, saying that I am fake for doing what I love, for trying to achieve for something that is worthy, for for becoming who I want to be, having fake friends that told me they loved me but in return they backstabbed me saying that I backstabbed them, as a person who just, I just want to sing, to study, to be crazy, and to be principled but I was continuously discouraged by my family, my other friends, my boyfriend, and in the end even myself. I just had no one to trust. Because I was portrayed as "a strong and tough girl" and the "good good student" in front of my peers, I always have to pretend that I am happy and I can work. I have to pretend that their words don't hurt me, I have to pretend that I am an independent girl who can deal with everything, and every obstacle to me is just a peck of dust. In fact, I cannot. I tell them my difficulties, they'll just tell me "how are you not Abel to deal with it" "are you kidding me how does that even bother you". They didn't take me seriously. Then I started hating on myself as I thought everyone did. Then I met some friends who also had suicidal problems. Then I started receiving photos of lashed wrists and suicidal messages every single hour from them. And then one day I thought maybe pain would be one way that I would feel alive, so I got them lashes on my wrists as well. Then on my neck, and on my face. My boyfriend found out and was devastated of what I did to myself, but I couldn't stop myself from hurting myself. Then one day I walked out of my room with my bandaged wrist and my dad saw, I spent 30 minutes convincing him that it was only a paper cut, because if I'd told him I hurt myself, he would be hurt. I didn't want to hurt my dad, I love my dad. Eventually my brother found out, and he told me he'd do anything to stop his little sister from hurting herself. Very rare of him as he had always been that type of cool guy since I was young. He would have never talked to me about his inner feelings, and he's 4 years older than me. However, he spent hours chatting with me about how people actually care for me, maybe in the wrong way because i didn't open up enough to let them know. This is the reason why I understand you, Eva, or anyone else having this enlightenment, that how important it is look into the bright side of life and to feel good about yourself. Yes, life sometimes do get really bad at times and there may be points where you feel hopeless and want to end your life in order to stop feeling the pain it is bringing to you. But only because of the pain, only because of the dark side of life, you grow, you grow fully, you then understand yourself. So, do what you all love, people, all the hate is something stopping you from becoming and growing into that awesome person you're going to be. Always, have love for everyone and also YOURSELF, trust a few one and also YOURSELF, if you want to be yourself, have an ambition and a good heart. That's the most important thing. ** sorry for my grammar and stuff cuz.. sleepy, and my English sucks
T I F F A N Y C H E N thank you for writing this my outlook on life has changed and I love that you were strong enough to talk about it❤️good luck in the future you can do it💖🎈
You are beautiful You are strong You are the sunshine You don't have to be skinny to look pretty You are smarter than you think You just be you Because babe you were born to stand out If anyone is feeling hopeless or feeling stuck in life know that your pain is real and your voice is always heard. I'm not telling you that life is gonna be okay I want to tell you that you're not alone. You having the strength to say that you're not okay is a good start to knowing your strength. It's okay to cry because it's healthy (as long as you drink some water we don't need a dehydrated queen LoL) your pain is not a burden but it's time to lean on someone's shoulder and let it all out and if you feel that there's no one left than I'll be that shoulder for you.
Audrey’s Life, it’s ok. You will be ok. Whatever you are going through right now, it will get better, I know it. When you need someone to talk to, turn to us. We will respond, we will listen to your stories. You are you and that’s enough for everyone and everything. You don’t need to change in order to have a happy life. Don’t feel like you need to change yourself for anyone or anything. You are strong, beautiful, and more. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. You don’t need to change yourself to be pretty, because on the inside, everyone is beautiful. You are, your best friend is, everyone is. We will be here for you. 💕
Thank you. You saved my life. I was going to do it, I had made up my mind. But then I saw this video. I watched it, and I cried, but I also was so inspired and assured that I had worth. That I could make it to junior high, highschool, and college. That I could live a long, healthy life. That one day, I can be truly happy. I still don't want to tell my parents or any adults, but I've told some friends. I don't know if they care, but we'll see. Thank you
This saved my whole life I have these thoughts every week I feel like my friends don’t care about me like this girl let’s just say her name is Gracie and every time I have fun she is mad and is always like we aren’t friends anymore so I am done being her friend she will ask me again and I will now say no she is not good for me
I told my friends that I was depressed and was sexually assaulted and they didn't believe me.They told me that I just wanted attention. I told them how I felt and they didn't care they just talked behind my back. I feel like no one likes me. I don't even have friends to talk to this about. I don't want to tell my mom about my depression cause I know she will be disappointed about me and I need help. I just want to live a normal life I don't want those voices inside my head. I want to be happy and I try. I am losing everyone and I always give people another chance but the one time I mess up they are done with me. They throw me away and just leave me to die. I am trying to get better. I know no one would read this but at least I let it all out.
i know how you feel. Im losing evryone as well, People are constantly giving up me. I dont have anyone to talk to but myself and god. Keep your head up, show them you dont need them, because at the end of the day people are gonna let you down its just how it is, but the only person that'll always be there for YOU, no matter what is... YOU. You can get through this you will get through it just be patient, you will heal. And when you do heal your gonna look back at what youre going through now and be proud of yourself because you got through it. Instead of giving else a chance, give yourself a chance for once. You will get through this i know it, just give yourself a chance. And you will find someone one day thats gonna be there for you and actually listen to what you have to say, fuck those fake bitches you call friends, you deserve better. you will be happy again just be patient, give it time, treat yourself, love yourself. And ik its easier said then done but you will learn to love yourself one day. Life isnt easy, its hard you have to fight, dont let life beat you down, get back up and show life what your made of. Goodluck, you are strong my dear you will get through this. xoxo "Everyone wants a sunshine, no one wants pain, but you can't have a rainbow without a little bit of rain"- cerdero
This honestly makes me so mad, I wish you were surrounded by better people. Just know, I love you the way you are and if we were near each other I would have been your best friend and have supported you❤️ please, do not ever give up, there will come people who will make you feel your best and then leave and people who do exactly the opposite. Keep your love pure and remain real and yourself because you are beautiful just the way you are and I just want to stand up for you and say, «Hey, stop doing that, she is the most warm hearted and kindest person alive. She is not doing this for attention, it is a scream for help and if you ignore that you will lose one of the most loving people you would ever have in your life!». There will come people who will treat you like you deserve but practice self love and meditation, if you can have a diary and keep it secretive then do that. Seek help when you feel ready and comfortable, hope you have the most amazing life ever and I love you just the way you are❤️❤️
this is so heartbreaking but beautiful, and I'm so glad you're sharing this with your audience because this honestly can change someone's life so much! 😙😙😙
I was 9 years old when I tried to kill myself, ever since then I've been on a journey struggling with anxiety and depression and lots of other things along the way...to anyone reading this comment I'm still struggling with it I am 15 years old and if I can get that far even with the bumps in the road then so can you, I know it's hard but STAY STRONG.
You are an amazing role model to others. Don’t worry, you will always have someone in this world who u can go to. We (your viewers) are here to support you. I would be your best friend no matter what ❤️ Just keep smiling 😀
This really touched me in a hidden part of my heart. I've been depressed for years. it really sucks. I thought I was the only one who was experiencing hell on earth. Recently, I discovered both my best friends are depressed and suicidal just like me. That's when I realized I wasn't the only one. I realized people hide their feelings as much as I do, and you just have to look for them. That's when I started looking for people who were hiding their feeling. I found it in my mom, my cousin, and so many people at school. I want to start leaving notes or flowers, or something for them that will make their day and maybe save their life. I want to save someone from their last day on earth. That Eva, is why I'm breathing. My list of stupid things I want: - to light my future house with just fairy lights - to live in a cozy apartment in my early twenties - move to Alaska - have a hanging bed - have a library in my house - cover my walls with pictures
Isabella Anderson i kinda have the same story one time i was going to kill myself untill my mum walked in. After that i got help, so if anyone feels suicidal just talk to someone it really helps.
this is amazing. i understand how you feel, and i'm there right now. my family found out, and my friends don't know, but i am and have been for two years, suicidal. i've been hiding it, letting my cover slip ever now and then because it's such a weight and a burden to hide, and people are starting to see, and i'm just so glad to see this.
Eva, I honestly cried so hard watching this video But we all go through some stages Where we doubt are selves. Where we think we need to change. I haven't lived out my life yet, and so I've always dreamed of having a perfect life. A perfect body. A PERFECT EVERYTHING! -to be pretty -to have a perfect body -to have great grades -to have money -to have friends -to have someone to hold on to on the rollercoaster -to not be scared -to be hella lit -to go to college -to find my inner self -to have pretty clothes -to have perfect hair -to find someone who loves me Eva, keep being you. EVERYONE, KEEP BEING YOU. BECAUSE YOU ARE SO PERFECT.
This really helped me when I had the worst mental breakdown of my life in the beginning of the year. It inspired me that you go through that too and that it isn’t my fault and it’s not just me and I’m not alone
Wow Eva my opinion has changed so much about you now since you have been maturing and sharing your life with us like of your emotions and the things you went through. This video has helped so many people already! It's been 2 days and I have seen piles of comments saying "thank you Eva". You saved their lives because of this advice! I love you and enjoy that saved life of yours Eva because you won't regret it! X
Can we just talk about all the comments about other people's stories and hearing ages and races and religions and genders but nobody here actually truly knows who each other are but most of the replies and responses are so supportive and helpful. Like wow amazing
watching this again in 2020 is so different from when i first saw it 3 years ago. so much has happened since then, my mom passed, I got heartbroken because of a boy, I got harassed and so many other things, it carries so much more weight. i don't know how far ill go but i hope do have the strength to go on, 13 year old me would have never expected what would've happened months later, years later
THIS IS MORE HELPFUL THAN ALMOST ANYTHING I'VE COME ACROSS because it is raw and not sugar coated at all which is exactly what people need ! SO inspiring please keep writing books one day I'll buy ALL OF THEM
My list: a home, best friend, family, to be confident and love my self, to be positive and get over everything that made me feel so bad I'm really thankful for Eva i really love you I feel like in a time that I forgot how much my live is important and i felt that I have no reason to live you reminded me that live is all about ups and downs and I promise I'll be there till the end and have fun at every second in my life love you Eva 💝
I'm 12, I don't live with any of my parents. I haven't seen them in about 2 years. My mom got sick and couldn't take care of me. I would blame myself everyday for it and I was alone in a foster home and I had no one to talk to I didn't know anyone. Before all of this happened my mom played hockey for 9 years and me and my mom played hockey everyday. And when my mom got sick I stopped playing hockey. I stopped doing what I loved. Just because it reminded me of her and how "it was my fault". And now I am still in foster care but permanent. But I I realized that it wasn't my fault and now I play hockey like my mom is watching and I do it to make her proud!
Ik I'm late to seeing this video, but it inspired me to tell my story. I am 13 at the time. It started when I was around 7 or 8. I was in third grade. My father had just got out of prison and was living with us. Well one night it was storming and I went into his and my brothers room (they shared rooms) and stayed in my dads bed. He woke up, and randomly started touching me. The next morning I was in my room playing with my dolls and he said "you know you can't tell anyone right? I'll get in big trouble" and I just shook my head. This continued for two more years up to the 5 grade. That's where things got bad. I developed anxiety, and minor depression. I hadn't selfed harmed, but I was suicidal. My friends would ask what was wrong but I was too afraid to tell them as if what they would do if I did, or what would happen to me. Since I was adopted by my grandparents, my biggest fear was me and my brother getting taken away from them and sent to separate homes. The worst year of my life was 6 grade. I began cutting and burning myself. My dad was still touching me and I hadn't told anyone. Then, one night he almost raped me. I got scared, and told my closest friend at the time. She was going to tell the school counsiler, but I said no, only if it got worse. I cut more. My arm, thigh, and leg. Then, he tried to rape me again. I told her again. I texted her crying, explaining how I felt so unsafe in my own home bc of my own father. She told the school councilor. It was 5 period I got called to the office, and she said that she was going to have to call DHS. I almost started crying, I forgot that I hadn't even told my family, and no one knew what was happening. I ended up spending 2 hours in an empty, boring room. Every now and then they would ask me questions. I remember having to go to a children's therapist and them questioning me as well. Its been a year later. I remember all the times I tried commuting suicide, and how one time I got caught. A year later, and I began smoking. I quit a month later, bc I didn't want to be like my father. Since then, I haven't harmed in anyway. I have had days where I want to pick up a blade, or just want to end it all. There's days where I dream about everything he did to me, and how much he hurt me. One day, I'll have to forgive him, but some things only God can forgive. Thank you for reading my story, and helping me numerous ways. Much love xoxo❤❤
i've struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life and it got to the point where i had to be admitted to a partial hospitalization program. depression sucks ass and i think you're so brave for making this video
cora reese please get better soon, and take care of yourself. I know how anxiety feels and it's hell, but the ones who struggle the most are the strongest people. Take care❤️
cora reese i hope you got a lot out of this video :)) make a list of things to look forward to in the future and make it happen!! just focus on yourself and your happiness and send positive vibes into in earth! you will get those great vibes back :))
Sascha Villalon awe you seem like such a sweet person, thanks for the tips💗 I totally agree about the energy thing, if you send good vibes out into the world you'll get them back
What’s beautiful is that, in this video, Eva said that she wants to have a golden retriever someday. And now she does. Eva, thank you so much for this video and just for every video that you make. I think you’re right, when people point out things, like having suicide prevention week, it really just doesn’t help. That’s what I love about your channel; you are always focusing on the positive and filling your content with uplifting and high spirited things. You are a beautiful human being with an amazing heart. I’m so glad that you’re still breathing and here today. I hope the future brings you everything that you hope for, and that you always try your best to maintain your happiness and healthiness. I love your bright and welcoming personality towards everyone you meet and for always trying your best to keep a smile on your face. You inspire me to keep being happy whenever I watch one of your videos. You are by far one of the best you tubers out there because of your powerful platform that you use to spread joy and smiles. Thank you for everything - and thank you for this video, because it really helps to know that there are people out there that have gone through hell and chose to get out of it instead of staying there. I think we all need to fill our life with the things that make us happy- and to always let our light shine so that others can see what being happy can do. Life is a blessing and God only wants the best for us.
This made me tear up and I don't EVER tear up. Except for cute puppy videos.... but that's not the point. I have an awesome life and I take so so so many things for granted. Yet I still go through depression. Everyone does at some point. Eva, you are wonderful, and all I can say is "thank you."
I know nobody is probably gonna see this, but here is my list:
- to feel loved
- to feel like I have accomplished something
- to be happy
Ingrid Mehammer chochella I think
That would definitely be cool, but it is quite hard as I don't live in the US
Be happy
Ingrid Mehammer i wanna feel loved too so i think you are not alone because i understand you and you understand me. We are in this together💙
Ingrid Mehammer I promise you will have all of that one day
I hope this helps someone ❤️ send me your life lists I'd love to read them! I love you guys so so much
VLOGTOWSKI thank you for this ❤
VLOGTOWSKI I love you ❤
VLOGTOWSKI Thank you so much
Love you so much ❤️
Thankyou so much you've given me a reason to live. My list:
I want to hold a baby pig
I want to grow up in the country side
I want 2 dogs
I want one friend that stays with me my entire life
I want a daughter that likes making daisy chains in the summer
And a son that is so passionate about his hobbie whether it be dance, football or whatever
I want a to laugh a billion laughs and to cry a billion crys
And finally watch 13 reasons why👊🏻
I felt like she was directly talking to me... thank you...
Ava Tolfa 😢😢😢 that was so inspirational, I’m quite happy w/ my life right now but I still was inspired by your message. People struggling with depression, anxiety or bullying NEED to read this and be inspired too. I’m sorry your life had to be that was but it’s really nice that you know that none of those rude words matter. Thank you for inspiring me and bringing light to this world!😊
Everyone looking through the comments look at this:
-your wrists aren't paper so don't cut them
-your neck isn't a coat so don't hang it
-your head isn't a target so don't shoot it
-God gave you life, so whatever you do, please don't take it.
Ava Nolan thank you for that you just saved me
Ava Nolons right,it's true,don't hurt yourself for others.😔😔😔
You need more like very inspiring
That is true and sad x
I love you ava you are so amazing☺☺☺😊😊😊😊😢😢😢😢😢
This 28 minutes has done more for me than any talks, therapy, anything has ever done. Thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone. I love you so much.
Madison Paige this is probably the best video ever
Madison Paige yess
if u wanna talk my sc is sonia209432
Madison Paige exactly right!! i love you so much eva ❤️
I showed my mom this.. she started crying with me and we told eachother what we need to do to solve this and we did thank you so so so much Eva. Your truly s blessing and I thank u more than words can describe 💗
Delanee Nienhaus True
"if you wanna live, you gotta find something you wanna live for" i felt that.
victoria faith same..
victoria faith I have nothing to live for
yes you do. You have much more potential than you think. Stay strong Summer.
MC Squared I am not playing I really have nothing to live for my best friends are the only reason I am alive
You have more you are alive you have friends and you are one of a kind Summer. God loves you exactly as you are.
Repeat after me comment section:
- I am pretty
- I am unique
- I am one of a kind
- I am worthy
- I am ME
I hope all of you have a good day ❤️
I am
Fucked up
@@madhusudan6772 no u ain't, I don't even know u and I think ur amazing
ty
You can help a lot of people
@@madhusudan6772 agreed me too
I don't want to be alive, I want to *feel* alive. I want to feel and see worth in myself to keep on living.
Amy Lehane me too. I dont feel like im living. And im too young to di anything about it
Amy Lehane I feel the same x
Nea Tg keep on living
Amy Lehane me too 🙂🙏
live you are an amazing person someone and even many people love you keep on living there is light at the end of the tunnel all of the bad things will end love your self laugh have fun love life.
My respect for you has grown so much now.
nice....
martha d. She has such a nice side :)
martha d. So you did not respect her before
+Ella Bella are you stupid? She said her respect for Eva has grown, not started. Grown shows that even though she already had a lot of respect for Eva, after watching this video she had even more.
martha d. I
I want to end my pain, not my life.
Some times i feel like that'll take the pain away
iiiAesthetic_Ava true
Same here
iiiAesthetic_Ava that’s is exactly how you should feel never end you life.
Yassssssss. Qween
My list :-
~to have my best friend back
~to overcome my anxiety
~to have a boyfriend who will truely love me and not just play with my feelings
~to be a queen like Eva
Same
Hey. Its been 2 years. How are you doing honey?
Thank you for being transparent. For being real and honest. For being personal and not just a face on TH-cam.
Hello person who is scrolling through the comments. I would just like to say your a beautiful person no matter what people think. If your thinking about committing suicide plz don't. There are a lot of things that you'll miss out on and the things to look forward to. I hope you have an amazing day or night or afternoon!
thank you :) the same to you.
Especially chocolate 🍫
Katelyn Ganesh - Sir Isaac Brock PS (1417) it's going to be okay. Don't let negative people put you down in your own way your unique and even though I'm not in your position I know like once you get these terrible people out of your life your in control. I hope your okay
Thx buddy you 2
Hannah Willson this comment really made my day thanks 😂
"I thought the only way people would understand how much they were hurting me was if I was gone"
I can't tell you how many times I've thought that I thought that just yesterday
BoggessBroadway you deserve everything in this world, you deserve happiness and endless love. People can be hateful and nasty. Stay positive and spread love. ✨♥️
BoggessBroadway stay strong I know that I will never feel this way because of Eva. You will be on top soon
BoggessBroadway you are worth it. you are loved. God created you so intricately, so thoughtfully, so wonderfully. i love you. God is your strength, you are strong.
PEOPLE LOVE YOU IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO U CAN COME TALK TO ME
BoggessBroadway me too
6:13 i burst into tears. How could your parents get mad at you for being depressed? That is just messed up.
I know, it’s so upsetting. It takes a strong person to get through that.
my parents are like that and it just sucks :( but hat makes me live is one day I'll move away with my friends six more years and live my own life :)
literally my parents
My parents would get mad at me:(
My parents are like that too, they think that since they give me food and stuff which ofc I'm grateful for, I can't have sad moments (((
Eva I'm sure this was really hard for you to film but thank you so much. there are so many people needed to hear including me.
Gwynith O'Brien same
- I want to smile
- I want to have clear skin
- I want to fall in love for the first time in the 20 years of my life
- I want to escape my country and raise my future babies in an environment that won't make them struggle the way it happened to their mumma for believing in what she believes in
you're beautiful
thank you Naomi, the same to you 💗
thank you Marie, you're a beautiful soul
you are a wonderful person
thank you Annu, you are, too!
This just saved a life.... thank you...
Haven Cruson are you okay?
Haven Cruson hello:)
Haven Cruson are you ok?!?!?
if you need anything, I'm here.
Haven Cruson are you OK
When Eva said she’s gonna say suicide, I didn’t care. I said it in my head every night. But this video changed my perspective of life. Honestly, I almost killed myself one night. That was the night I saw this video though. Eva, if you somehow see this comment, I am so, so thankful for this video. You saved my whole life. Thank you so much.
Syeda Ayrah god bless you and please don't kill yourself you have so much to live for your amazing and beautiful and precious and your family would be really upset, I know it's really rough this year but we'll get through it!
I never tried to hurt myself but when my pappy died he was the best grandpa in the world pappy was always sick I was at silver dollar city and when I got home we had so much food and my mom and dad were at the store when I got home all my family was sitting at the couch my mom told me that my pappy died and when I herd those to words my heart stopped and I than I felt like throwing up I got so mentally sick I just told my big sister I had no friends that year but my mom and my sister helped me
:( same
Same I’m only 8 years old and I’m just a kid and I don’t understand but all I know is that... I love Eva and she is my heart ❤️
stay strong. sending u so much love
Al lot of these people in the comments seem to be going through a lot right now feel better if you are one of those people ❤️
Weird World you are so respectful of the people like me going through a tough time thank you i mean it you’re a wonderful person
Thank you for your sympathy and empathy for others. Those words really make me feel like i matter to people when i am alone in the dark.
-Cookie Studio
Paige Craddock and Cookie studios thank you so much I’m only in middle school so I don’t have a lot of wisdom or anything and I’ve been going to private schools all my life and I have never been through quite as much as a lot of people here and I can’t imagine how horrible that must be I hope you both feel better about whatever you are going through right now🙂
@@weirdworldsiena Thank you so much for making me smile. You have high vocabulary for middle school and i wish you the best of luck.
Thank you😭❤️ I’m crying watching this😭
She looks beautiful without makeup
Bugg EllA so true she is amazing too
Bugg EllA absolutely
Bugg EllA she is definitely wearing makeup, she's too incredibly beautiful to not be wearing anything 😂
+Sydney Corrigan she wiped her face with a tissue in the beginning of the video
She is wearing makeup but she isn't wearing as much as she usually wearing which she doesn't even need makeup!
My list:
- graduate college
- read as many books as possible
- have three dogs and we will be living in our cute little apartment with some really cute plants
- help others pay for college (it will be difficult but one day I would like to do this)
- finish greys anatomy because I feel like I've been watching it for years and I'm only on season 6
- inspire others
- this summer my mom and I are planting a beginning garden and a garden for bees
Thank u Eva u are an amazing person. I have been trough a lot as well and ur right we're in this together. Also ur hair looks amazing on u I love the color blue!!
I remember watching this years ago. I was very depressed at the time. To see you, a celebrity, be open about your depression really helped me. It made me feel less alone. Thank you for helping me stay strong enough to get through my depression 🖤
I'm actually overwhelmed because Eva looks so gorgeous in this video. She has natural beauty, inside and out.
-I want to go to heaven
- I want a husband
- bestfriends
-supportive parents
-to be happy
Natalie Gentle Jesus loves you.
I want all of that too. And you've got God always!
you are so niceLiabelleLoves
me too
Natalie Gentle Amen🙌🙌
I'm only 12 years old, I've already tried to commit suicide, because of girls and boys who just hated me, who would talk about me, who would say I'm a slut for things that I never even did. Yesterday I got up in front of the class and told stuff from this video, I told everyone that I tried to kill myself. Eva you've impacted so many people by making this video, thankyou.
Edit:Thanks everyone for all the support, I'm literally living an amazing life and hope that I could help more people
Lara The Gymnast stay strong
Lara The Gymnast that scares me because I am about to turn twelve it's hard to think some of my friends could have tried to commit suicide
Lara The Gymnast i'm crying. You're so strong and i wish you the best!
Cassie Marie don't worry if you do go through this, just tell someone. I know it can definitely be hard but once I told everyone what I was going through they actually thought about it. They supported me. You'll be ok
Lara The Gymnast you are amazing and loved. life is worth it, promise ❤️❤️❤️
Your cat is so amazing I’ve never heard him/her meow but when u cry she tries to help
Ya I think so 2
im glad shes opening about her story and im glad she is still here
Jael Laramore is this real tho x
I think it's for Coachella check her blogs
Jael Laramore me too😘😭
I want to be skinny
I want to be popular
I want to feel loved
I want to feel important
I want to be pretty
But I never realised I am all of those... We all are all of our dreams... BUT it's only our choice if we're gonna make our own dreams come true... all we gotta do is belive
you are important we all are even is something bad is happening something good maybe even great will come your way!
Don't let society make you feel not good enough. You don't have to be skinny or be pretty by societys standards. You are important and beautiful !
wow cocky much
@@amanebear wdy mean
anke coetzer I to be macdonalds
My future wants:
1. A beach house in California
2. Travel around the world
3. Surf with my idol (you)
4. Have a TH-cam channel I post on
5. Have extensions in my hair
6. Go to a college
7. Give people hope
8. Have a group of friends I belong with
9. Grow my own plants and flowers
10. Own my own car
11. Make a bucket list to complete
12. Write a book
13. Have kids and love them so much
14. Make a great cake for someone I care about
15. Be myself
16. Dye my hair a random color
17. Take after my moms and grandmothes garden 8. Get a Pug 9.adopt a kitten
10. Live in LA 11. Meet Eva because I come here to forget about my depression 12. Have people at school not make fun of me
+Kali Whalen i don't know you, but let me tell you one thing... If people make fun of you, they're not 'cool', they're not RIGHT. You know what they actually are, S T U P I D! And you know what will happen? YOU will go on and do great things in your life, they will just be stuck in high School trying to be cool. So please, do not care about what they say, cause they are wrong.
P.s. I'm sorry if there are grammar errors but I'm italian and English is not my first language! 🌸
My list:
-A husky
-A black cat
-A cozy home
-Cute stuff
-Anime
-A best friend
-Healing
-A family that is united
-Help
Eva, I've been watching you ever since i was 11 and I'm 16 now but not once have i commented, I've always been caught up on what was the right thing to say and how to express how much mylifeaseva means to me. I'm one of the million individuals who have come to your videos for advice and support and not once have they let me down. *You have helped me through more than you can ever imagine and I'm forever grateful for that* Thank you.
hi i love you
Lauren Lapointe we love you
This is such an important video
Hey
jessiepaege Yes Jessie
jessiepaege i agree jessie.if you ever feel this way. you tell us okay.💖 love you mermaid mom
she is paid to make that video
Zak Mik doesnt matter shes expressing her feelings (hope i dont sound mean)
i am depressed and have been thinking about suicide and this actually really helped and i know that my life will get better thank you eva
hi, me too can we start a club.
It will get better... God bless you
someone help me
Things will get better... I promise! I'm praying for you. God bless you.
Focaccia Bread i'll help you
My best friend died. I thought I'd never be the same. Then my other best friend said that she was only friends with me cuz I was a loser and had no friends. I've been bullied my whole life. I've thought of ending it all. I know this might sound cheesy or corny but this video saved my life. My idols, one direction, also saved my life. But especially eva. Thank you for saving my life eva. I hope you see this
Hi, I'm Emma. I'm 15 and I have been suffering with depression and clinical anxiety. I've been bullied about my looks since I was in kindergarten. When I was 8 years old I was forcibly raped by my friends father at my first sleepover. He then proceeded to tell me that if I told anyone that he would find me and kill my family and then me. Being 8, what was I supposed to do. I was terrified. I carried it for 6 years before I was capable of telling someone. When my parents found out it wasn't through me. I was pushed into telling them, and it was scary as hell. After that happened I felt that I couldn't have friends. He made me feel unworthy of life, and unworthy of anything. I turned to food as a friend. I ate and ate and ate. I moved to a new place, and continued to stay quiet and eat alone in the bathroom. Finally in 6th grade I worked up the courage to talk to people and make friends. For the first time in a long time I felt so accepted. BUT the second I started to put myself out there I was attacked for my looks. Because I was heavier than the other girls in my grade. Random people would shout out that I was fat, as if I didn't tell myself that enough. In seventh grade people told me that I was the ugliest person they'd ever seen. They told me that there wasn't enough space in the world for me. That I was just taking up too much room. I went home and locked myself in my room before balling my eyes out and then cutting my wrists for the first time. I wore long sleeves for a while, but at one point someone noticed my scars and they said that I was an attention whore that if I wasn't doing it for attention that I would've done them somewhere else on my body. I was mortified, so I went home and cut my ankles because I always wore longer socks. But in the locker room when I was changing socks and shoes a girl came up to me and said that I shouldn't hurt myself, but rather just end it all. Take a bottle of pills and call it quits. Another girl to my right said that I shouldn't. She said instead I should just wear makeup, starve myself, and force myself to throw up. So that's what I started doing. Nothing happened though. I'm 8th grade I had enough. I had enough of the rude remarks fake profiles on Instagram to cyber bully me, and had enough of myself.. everyday was a struggle I wanted nothing more than to end it once and for all. I told my mom that I was depressed and that I had anxiety attacks. It was my final cry for help. She realized that I was hurting, and slowing down. My grades were slipping, and I wasn't hanging out with friends. My mom also noticed that I was gaining dramatic amounts of weight at a time. She took me into the doctor, and I spilled. Telling her about my problems such as depression, anxiety, being so tired that I wanted to die, and the fact that I was gaining weight and not being capable of losing it. She said she believed that I had a disorder known as hypothyroidism. And is an under active thyroid meaning I'm not getting the right hormones and I'm all unbalanced. She said that she needed blood to make sure. Anywho, I finally got news that I have an extreme case of hypothyroidism. She recommended that I try to see someone about the depression and all that. So I continued 8th grade... but I finally hit a breaking point. People were telling me to kill myself everyday. And one day I was attacked by a group of girls in the hallway. They were pushing me, calling me names. Telling me to drink bleach. Saying they wished I'd suffer. I had finally had enough. I went home and downed a whole bunch of pills I found in the medicine cabinet. I went and locked myself in the bathroom and slowly drifted to sleep in the empty bathtub. I woke up with sharp pains in my stomach and began to vomit everywhere. I was horrified, and hurting so bad. By the time I stopped I had a bad fever and was shaking from shock. I got up and walked to my parents room. Quickly I thought "they can't know. It would ruin them." So I told them I had some kind of flu and was extremely sick. I went back to my room and laid down. I cried myself to sleep that night. Finally the end of the year came and I was able to think about the future. Little did I know, this was the summer I'd tell people that I was raped. Most people were shocked. They never knew that something so horrible was done to me. It felt good to have that support that I wasn't able to have before. I'd carried it for so long, but I had finally found a place to rest. To give myself a second to breathe. I know I'll have to carry it for the rest of my life, but at least I know that I will have the help carrying it. After I told people, others would reach out to me and tell me their stories. For a second I didn't feel so alone. I was so excited to start high school! Everyone told me that everything would change. BUT being me of course something had to go wrong. I broke my entire foot and had to start high school on a support scooter. Ugh. Could life hate me a little more? Anyway.. I started high school and it was really fun. I had a friend group and not long after did I have a boyfriend. I fell, and I fell hard. He made me so happy. He helped me through so much. I had never felt so loved in my entire life. But of course I snapped out of fairyland when 6 months after we'd dated and fallen for each other he broke up with me. And did it with a smile on his face. Reality smashed into me like a brick wall. I was devastated. It was out of nowhere. I ditched class and sat in my brothers car for the rest of the day. Incapable of feeling a thing. I sat and stared off into the distance. I felt alone again. He helped me through so much and then dropped me like a hot potato. I shattered. I went into a deep depression and my mom signed me up for a shrink. She was nuts, but I liked talking to her. It kinda helped, but I'd prefer to keep it all in, so I acted as if everything was okay until I couldn't. I broke down in front of her and she was scared shitless. She wanted to send me to a mental institute because she was very worried that I'd end my life if I didn't get the serious help I needed. But being me I told my mom I was fine, and that I just needed a good cry. She believed me and I went on being depressed, but wearing a fake smile. I was truly miserable. Life at school became worse, lost friends and lost hope. My ex and I started talking again, and eventually became a secret couple and started where we left off. I ended up leaving the school after a terrible rumor was spread about me. I transferred into a homeschool program, and was beyond happy about it. The people I met there were incredible. Everyone was so nice! My teachers became my friends along with other students. My family then notified me. "Hey we're moving to a new state at the end of the school year" I got really excited because it meant fresh start! I became great friends with multiple people including my 26 year old gay math tutor who was married to another 26 year old gay teacher at the school. And they'd always hang out with me, and talk to me about everything. They'd share their pasts and things that happened to them. I felt so at home. And I still do. In five days I'm moving to Montana. My school has been so accepting and so sweet and I could never thank them enough for making me feel good when nobody else could. Also a big thanks to my family. Without them I would have taken my life by now. My brother and I are two peas in a pod and I couldn't be more happy to watch him graduate in three days. I'm so proud to call him my brother. And to my parents, although sometimes we butt heads I couldn't have asked for better people to raise me. Everyone please, stay strong. I'm trying to, and will continue trying. Let me know if I should start a TH-cam channel, and please feel free to share your stories with me. I know I've shared more than enough with you. I love you Eva. Thank you for being such an incredible inspiration in my life. I love you all. Keep your heads high!
Emma-Kay Sharpe I'm speechless thank you for sharing with us your story it means a lot,even if it's hard to talk abt those hurtful events.
Spreadlove ❤️
Wijdane Khabbaz. Thank you ❤️
I am so sorry those things happened to you. You are so brave 💕 I hope you find happiness and peace in whatever comes
Kaya N thank you so much, it means a lot.
Emma-Kay Sharpe.
Please, middle schoolers, high schoolers, and beyond ... listen to all of this. Please understand this. Think about it and write about how you feel. You can do this. Thank you Eva. This is what the internet needs.
Can we just appreciate how stunning she looks even thought she doesn't have much makeup on
Even when she's crying she's pretty
Nancy Ryan I can't get over her hair though
Nancy Ryan
So true tho
She's stunning on the inside and out
Grace TV same
Nancy Ryan she is gorgeous and I love her ❤️❤️
i remember watching this video when i was in high school i cried though the whole thing bc i was so depressed but here I'm 3 years later in college still struggling with my mental health crying to what she's saying
. If you're reading this please pray for me and if you feel like you want to give up on yourself please don't
praying for you, you're a strong person 🌞 i pray that you are given and covered in light and strength everyday even in your darkest moments! Bless up!!!
Bosst up cause god is always there for u..❤️🤞🏻
Still praying for you
25:56 "someday, i want a golden retriever" aww now she has hanalei
THIS VIDEO GAVE ME A REASON TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY
that is so important. keep going. love you.
YAZMIN MURILLO ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💖💖💖💖💗💖💗💗💖💖💘💘💕💞💓💝💘💝💞💘💘💖💗💘💝💕💘
how old are you :( please live until 80 or 90 :(
Please stay alive♥ life is worth living.
-ˏˋolivia ˎˊ- please keep going and stay strong 💖
I can relate to this so much as someone who has held a knife to their chest twice. I hate when no one takes you seriously and you think your only choice is suicide it's just a problem that so many people don't recognize and it's so hard when you have no one to talk to. It's also hard to have those people who tell you, "Oh stop being so dramatic. Get up on your feet and get back to reality, no one has done anything to hurt you you have no right to be depressed". They don't realize that THIS IS REALITY and even though people haven't physically hurt me, they have emotionally hurt me. Emotional pain is just as bad if not worse than physical pain.
Anastasia Shanahan aww, don't listen to them, they never know. Block out the negativity on your life, have hope, stay strong and know that you're not alone *sending virtual hugs ❤❤❤
This is so sad, but I'm so glad you're here today, many people love you so much and they need you, stay strong xxx
Anastasia Shanahan stay strong and remember there are always people here for you and who want to listen to you and care for you, even us internet strangers 😂❤️
Anastasia Shanahan Exactly. We weren't just born to pay bills
-I want to loose my belly fat
-I want to get good grades so me and my
parents can be proud of something that I did
-I want to be happy just like u.
-And I want to be like u Eva. I love u u r amazing and u r my role model. Thank for this. God bless ur heart. U saved me. I love u so much
Don’t try to be someone your not be you
you are unique
Don’t try to Change your perfect the way you are
your cat is saying: please don't cry.... i love you 😁😂
aww yeah she is. her cat is the cutest.
I want
-To fall in love with someone who loves me as deeply and fiercely as I love them
-Friends that will defend me and pull me up when I'm down
-Friends who won't use me
-Friends that won't put me down
-To be able to follow both of my passions (medicine and music)
-To be happy with myself
-To love myself
-To have a big pretty house with
-A cute husband that loves me for me
-A bunch of animals (dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, hamsters, everything)
-A huge library with tons of books
-Plenty of sunlight and plants
-To change the world by providing health care in places where those people wouldn't otherwise get it
-To be happy
-To feel the sunshine on my face
-To feel ALIVE
Its Clarke, I couldn't believe that you expressed everything I want in my life as well. & I wish you all the best 💙
Its Clarke I want
To be a journalist
Live in la ( I'm live in Australia now)
Have lily as a friend (lily is a really nice girl in my grade who cares and goes through depression with me )
have a caring boyfriend
I will edit this is 2 days and say what has happened ...
Its Clarke
- I want to be loved
- I want to be and author
- I want to be an artist
- I want to be better and nice to people
- I want to forget about suicide and wanting to kill my self
- I want a cat
- I want to be free
- I want to see God
- I want I want I want
I want...
-to achieve my goals
-to make my grades higher
-to forget my suicidal thoughts
-to make everyone happy and not fight ever again
-to be cared and loved for
-to make myself happy
-to make my autistic brother happy and be in a normal condition
-to make my parents happy and proud
-to train my dog and let her be happy
-to be nice to everyone more
-to be an actress
-to be a model
-to travel around the world
-to not have fake people in my life
-to not let other people bring me down
-to not be negative
-to be positive in every way!
Dear Its Clarke,
Do you have any idea how long I cried after reading this comment? I cried for about an hour (add another after Eva's video) I literally made a list that has EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE. I hid it away a long time ago knowing I would never be able to fulfill any of them. But today my whole world was flipped rightside up. I cried so long, mostly because it was almost like a copy of all my wishes... But you forgot one...
-I want someone to understand me and everything I went through.
I wanted to thank you for allowing me to cross at least one of my wishes. Though I don't know you, please, please email me at puppiezfurever@gmail.com . I would love to speak to you. Show me someone cares.
Love, someone hurt long enough
I don't want empathy. I don't want hate. I just want for people to read this, and relate.
Back when I was about 13, in 8th grade, these group of girls would walk up to me, 3rd period, in between classes. They'd call me things, terrible things that I can't even imagine to start telling you. I'd miss 3rd period, and go and hide somewhere. Sometimes the bathroom, sometimes other places. I remember this continued with those same girls everyday until junior year of high school. One day, I remember I was in school, in the bathroom missing 3rd period, and writing a list of things for people to read when I'm gone. A janitor walked in to clean the bathrooms, and she saw the list. I closed the book but it she already saw it. That was my first time going to 3rd period since 8th grade. I remember wiping the tears, right before walking into the classroom. My teacher didn't even know who I was.
Weeks went on, and the janitor everyday came into that bathroom, and one day she said "Are you okay?" That's all I needed. I said everything bothering me, everything happening. I shared my story, she shared hers. I told her about the girls, I told her about my abusive stepfather, which I didn't tell anyone. We told each other everything, and for the first time In a while, I related to someone. I told her not to tell anyone, which she ended up doing. Im very glad she did, however. She told my principal, my mother, and I opened up with my mother. Later that month she kicked her husband out, and they got a divorce, and those girls had suspension for a while. for the first time in a while, I felt safe, and secure. From there, things only went up. My mother found a lovely man, who loved her, and loved me, too. They got married, and they ended up having my step-sister, who's now in 2nd grade. (Huge age gap, I know.) My mother finished college, and became a lawyer, and my step-father became a small business owner. We moved from a studio apartment to a 3 bedroom house in California. And although things are rough, remember, once you hit rock bottom, there's one way to go, and thats up.
That is amazing and I am very glad to hear that your story end up happy :')
For me, however, there is no happy ending... :'(
i promise you there will be i know this is just some stupid comment from a youtube section but you will have a happy ending no matter how long it takes
I hope you find the ending your looking for. I really hope you find even more than you could ever want.
Awesome and you rock! Thank you for sharing your story!
This brings hope to my heart. I am so glad you stayed strong at that time. Sending love from France ❤️
I have never had to deal with depression, but I can picture how this is going to help people so much. You have really opened up a whole side that I have never thought of before. If I had depression, you would have just saved my life. You are SUCH AN AMAZING PERSON. I am so happy for you and stay positive! Love you.
So many people, including me, needed this. Thank you.
I usually never write comments, but i really need to say this.. i loved this video. I loved it because it's real and honest and youtubers don't normally post something so sincere. When i watch your videos i think your life is pretty amazing because you travel a lot and have great friends and it always looks so fun, but seeing this is truly inspiring. I had no idea that you went through so much because i haven't read the book. It's really helpful to hear from someone who knows it does get better when one's feeling down. So, thank you for that.
💕
Karla Jendris same.!!
I felt like I had a one to one conversation with Eva. I love you Eva 💛
Marlena Taczarek i did too it was amazing and so inspirational. i feel blessed to have her to look up to or to have i guess not exactly in my life but feel like she gets it she understands.
jesteś z Polski? ♥️
POLAND loves you Eva :*
t0siq tak
deep.... totally
thank you for this eva...I have major depression and anxiety, and i am going to a therapist...you help me eva, all day, just a smile from you makes my day, so thank you, for everything
I can't explain how much this video has helped me today
I'm honestly so freaking proud of you
CimFam For Looo
Melanie Perez ???
I love your profile picture
alissa _x_love aw thanks
CimFam For Life your welcome I love cimorelli too
I cried. I cried during this video and it wasn't because of her relation to the show it was her advice. Ava you made life sound worth living. Thank you. Thank you so much❤
I will remember this video in 5 years and I bet that I will watch it about a thousand times to just remind myself that life is worth living
Eva! It has been almost 4 years since I watched this video right when you posted it. I was going through such a tough time back then, and I took your advice and wrote a stupid list. I truly believed i'd get these things when I reach the age of 50 lmao. Not too long ago, I came across the list again. I totally forgot about the list and I was shocked because every single item on that list, I now have. And I am also in a much better place now then where I was 4 years ago. It only took 4 years for me to achieve that list. I have many lists and journal entries since this video, and I just want to thank you for helping me eva. I love you very much T_T I hope you're well too
Just wanna share my experience with all of you here that was never shared until this very moment: depression and anxiety drove me crazy for the past years, mainly because of academic pressure (I come from Hong Kong it's just a hell of scholastic kids competing for college places), all the freaking hate people give to me through cyber-bullying, threat messages and boycotting because of all the posts I hold in school, saying that I am fake for doing what I love, for trying to achieve for something that is worthy, for for becoming who I want to be, having fake friends that told me they loved me but in return they backstabbed me saying that I backstabbed them, as a person who just, I just want to sing, to study, to be crazy, and to be principled but I was continuously discouraged by my family, my other friends, my boyfriend, and in the end even myself. I just had no one to trust. Because I was portrayed as "a strong and tough girl" and the "good good student" in front of my peers, I always have to pretend that I am happy and I can work. I have to pretend that their words don't hurt me, I have to pretend that I am an independent girl who can deal with everything, and every obstacle to me is just a peck of dust. In fact, I cannot. I tell them my difficulties, they'll just tell me "how are you not Abel to deal with it" "are you kidding me how does that even bother you". They didn't take me seriously. Then I started hating on myself as I thought everyone did. Then I met some friends who also had suicidal problems. Then I started receiving photos of lashed wrists and suicidal messages every single hour from them. And then one day I thought maybe pain would be one way that I would feel alive, so I got them lashes on my wrists as well. Then on my neck, and on my face. My boyfriend found out and was devastated of what I did to myself, but I couldn't stop myself from hurting myself. Then one day I walked out of my room with my bandaged wrist and my dad saw, I spent 30 minutes convincing him that it was only a paper cut, because if I'd told him I hurt myself, he would be hurt. I didn't want to hurt my dad, I love my dad. Eventually my brother found out, and he told me he'd do anything to stop his little sister from hurting herself. Very rare of him as he had always been that type of cool guy since I was young. He would have never talked to me about his inner feelings, and he's 4 years older than me. However, he spent hours chatting with me about how people actually care for me, maybe in the wrong way because i didn't open up enough to let them know. This is the reason why I understand you, Eva, or anyone else having this enlightenment, that how important it is look into the bright side of life and to feel good about yourself. Yes, life sometimes do get really bad at times and there may be points where you feel hopeless and want to end your life in order to stop feeling the pain it is bringing to you. But only because of the pain, only because of the dark side of life, you grow, you grow fully, you then understand yourself. So, do what you all love, people, all the hate is something stopping you from becoming and growing into that awesome person you're going to be. Always, have love for everyone and also YOURSELF, trust a few one and also YOURSELF, if you want to be yourself, have an ambition and a good heart. That's the most important thing.
** sorry for my grammar and stuff cuz.. sleepy, and my English sucks
T I F F A N Y C H E N thank you for writing this my outlook on life has changed and I love that you were strong enough to talk about it❤️good luck in the future you can do it💖🎈
T I F F A N Y C H E N surprisingly really good grammar I think
your English is amazing keep going strong ❤
You all are too kind and the world should be filled with love from people like you xx💫
You are beautiful
You are strong
You are the sunshine
You don't have to be skinny to look pretty
You are smarter than you think
You just be you
Because babe you were born to stand out
If anyone is feeling hopeless or feeling stuck in life know that your pain is real and your voice is always heard. I'm not telling you that life is gonna be okay I want to tell you that you're not alone. You having the strength to say that you're not okay is a good start to knowing your strength. It's okay to cry because it's healthy (as long as you drink some water we don't need a dehydrated queen LoL) your pain is not a burden but it's time to lean on someone's shoulder and let it all out and if you feel that there's no one left than I'll be that shoulder for you.
Miss Sassy Please help me I don’t know who to talk to and it’s getting to much for me please help me
Audrey’s Life, it’s ok. You will be ok. Whatever you are going through right now, it will get better, I know it. When you need someone to talk to, turn to us. We will respond, we will listen to your stories. You are you and that’s enough for everyone and everything. You don’t need to change in order to have a happy life. Don’t feel like you need to change yourself for anyone or anything. You are strong, beautiful, and more. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. You don’t need to change yourself to be pretty, because on the inside, everyone is beautiful. You are, your best friend is, everyone is. We will be here for you. 💕
Thank you so much its made me feel better after watching this emotional video of Eva because im so used to seeing her so joy ful i appreciate it a lot
I literally cried while reading ur comment
Thank you 🙏
Thank you. You saved my life. I was going to do it, I had made up my mind. But then I saw this video. I watched it, and I cried, but I also was so inspired and assured that I had worth. That I could make it to junior high, highschool, and college. That I could live a long, healthy life. That one day, I can be truly happy. I still don't want to tell my parents or any adults, but I've told some friends. I don't know if they care, but we'll see. Thank you
Treeclimber 7 live life to the fullest dont throw it away
Treeclimber 7 Jesus loves you and cares for you deeply He died for you and He is with you
Treeclimber 7 try to tell it to ur parents ir maybe a teacher. But live life. Dont ley anybody let u down
you sound amazing and your not the only one and if you died 6 people will think about life without them for their friends.
Treeclimber 7 I hope you get better and remember I love you and so does everyone else.😘😘
This saved my whole life I have these thoughts every week I feel like my friends don’t care about me like this girl let’s just say her name is Gracie and every time I have fun she is mad and is always like we aren’t friends anymore so I am done being her friend she will ask me again and I will now say no she is not good for me
I feel weird talking about this
@@abbietoth2560 i am proud of you. your friend doesn't deserve you stay strong and keep fighting things will get better i promise 💗
Yesss queen! Get rid of those people in your life that just drag you down. They're just jealous! And don't ver feel like you aren't loved bc u are!
Yeah you don't need ppl like that in your life
She's a diamond. People that got her by their side should be careful not to loose her. You're an ispiration to many people. Lots of love♡
Demetra Sv OMG YES
You just saved a life. I can't thank you enough for that. Thank you for convincing me that mylife is worth living for❤️
To the person on the other side of the screen: I may not know you but I want to thank you for being here and being alive and breathing
Destiny's DIY's you too❤️❤️❤️
Destiny's DIY's you are a awesome person keep up the good work!! Xxx
Destiny's DIY's thank you
Why
Thank you 😊❤
i always find myself coming to this video when i’m at my lowest
Me too :)
i first watched it three years ago when i was suicidal and i’m once again at that point so i’m back here again
I told my friends that I was depressed and was sexually assaulted and they didn't believe me.They told me that I just wanted attention. I told them how I felt and they didn't care they just talked behind my back. I feel like no one likes me. I don't even have friends to talk to this about. I don't want to tell my mom about my depression cause I know she will be disappointed about me and I need help. I just want to live a normal life I don't want those voices inside my head. I want to be happy and I try. I am losing everyone and I always give people another chance but the one time I mess up they are done with me. They throw me away and just leave me to die. I am trying to get better. I know no one would read this but at least I let it all out.
i know how you feel. Im losing evryone as well, People are constantly giving up me. I dont have anyone to talk to but myself and god. Keep your head up, show them you dont need them, because at the end of the day people are gonna let you down its just how it is, but the only person that'll always be there for YOU, no matter what is... YOU. You can get through this you will get through it just be patient, you will heal. And when you do heal your gonna look back at what youre going through now and be proud of yourself because you got through it. Instead of giving else a chance, give yourself a chance for once. You will get through this i know it, just give yourself a chance. And you will find someone one day thats gonna be there for you and actually listen to what you have to say, fuck those fake bitches you call friends, you deserve better. you will be happy again just be patient, give it time, treat yourself, love yourself. And ik its easier said then done but you will learn to love yourself one day. Life isnt easy, its hard you have to fight, dont let life beat you down, get back up and show life what your made of. Goodluck, you are strong my dear you will get through this. xoxo
"Everyone wants a sunshine, no one wants pain, but you can't have a rainbow without a little bit of rain"- cerdero
you can talk to me Twitter-Kelsey_ktruitt
Hon don’t worry. Just hold on and remember Jesus loves you ❤️
Don't worry just remember. You are not alone☺️
This honestly makes me so mad, I wish you were surrounded by better people. Just know, I love you the way you are and if we were near each other I would have been your best friend and have supported you❤️ please, do not ever give up, there will come people who will make you feel your best and then leave and people who do exactly the opposite. Keep your love pure and remain real and yourself because you are beautiful just the way you are and I just want to stand up for you and say, «Hey, stop doing that, she is the most warm hearted and kindest person alive. She is not doing this for attention, it is a scream for help and if you ignore that you will lose one of the most loving people you would ever have in your life!». There will come people who will treat you like you deserve but practice self love and meditation, if you can have a diary and keep it secretive then do that. Seek help when you feel ready and comfortable, hope you have the most amazing life ever and I love you just the way you are❤️❤️
this is so heartbreaking but beautiful, and I'm so glad you're sharing this with your audience because this honestly can change someone's life so much! 😙😙😙
Your so nice eva
People need to realize the shit they says hurts
Kyla Smith amen
😓😓👍👍🐱🐱
Kyla Smith I know right
Kyla Smith yeppp
They really should
I was 9 years old when I tried to kill myself, ever since then I've been on a journey struggling with anxiety and depression and lots of other things along the way...to anyone reading this comment I'm still struggling with it I am 15 years old and if I can get that far even with the bumps in the road then so can you, I know it's hard but STAY STRONG.
-I want to live a long life
-I want to find the love of my life
-I want my friends to listen to me when I tell them I’m not okay
-I want to be happy
I hope you get everything you want in life.
i have the same thing my friends dont listen when i say im sot okay
SO DO I!!!!
1d song i want😂
you can have a great life just keep trying
xxxx
you can see the pain in her eyes
Blessed Amusa I
Blessed Amusa i can see the pain in your eyebrows
cityxlights omg I'm dead😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
cityxlights i died whbdfh
cityxlights NO CHILL
My brother, I found him. I saved him. I'm proud but i can't get it out of my mind.
You are an amazing role model to others. Don’t worry, you will always have someone in this world who u can go to. We (your viewers) are here to support you. I would be your best friend no matter what ❤️
Just keep smiling 😀
This really touched me in a hidden part of my heart. I've been depressed for years. it really sucks. I thought I was the only one who was experiencing hell on earth. Recently, I discovered both my best friends are depressed and suicidal just like me. That's when I realized I wasn't the only one. I realized people hide their feelings as much as I do, and you just have to look for them. That's when I started looking for people who were hiding their feeling. I found it in my mom, my cousin, and so many people at school. I want to start leaving notes or flowers, or something for them that will make their day and maybe save their life. I want to save someone from their last day on earth. That Eva, is why I'm breathing.
My list of stupid things I want:
- to light my future house with just fairy lights
- to live in a cozy apartment in my early twenties
- move to Alaska
- have a hanging bed
- have a library in my house
- cover my walls with pictures
you are a beautiful person :')
Isabella Anderson i kinda have the same story one time i was going to kill myself untill my mum walked in. After that i got help, so if anyone feels suicidal just talk to someone it really helps.
this is amazing. i understand how you feel, and i'm there right now. my family found out, and my friends don't know, but i am and have been for two years, suicidal. i've been hiding it, letting my cover slip ever now and then because it's such a weight and a burden to hide, and people are starting to see, and i'm just so glad to see this.
lilyvlogs I almost did kill myself
L
This is so relatable. Anyone else cry ? Thank you for making this video you're amazing
Nataly Gable it made me cry
😭
Nataly Gable I cried so much
Eva, I honestly cried so hard watching this video
But we all go through some stages
Where we doubt are selves.
Where we think we need to change.
I haven't lived out my life yet, and so I've always dreamed of having a perfect life. A perfect body. A PERFECT EVERYTHING!
-to be pretty
-to have a perfect body
-to have great grades
-to have money
-to have friends
-to have someone to hold on to on the rollercoaster
-to not be scared
-to be hella lit
-to go to college
-to find my inner self
-to have pretty clothes
-to have perfect hair
-to find someone who loves me
Eva, keep being you. EVERYONE, KEEP BEING YOU. BECAUSE YOU ARE SO PERFECT.
h ø n ê y You don't need to be thin to be happy. Who decided what the 'perfect' body really is? You are perfect as you are
I want everything on that list but who knows what will happen in the future
This really helped me when I had the worst mental breakdown of my life in the beginning of the year. It inspired me that you go through that too and that it isn’t my fault and it’s not just me and I’m not alone
Wow Eva my opinion has changed so much about you now since you have been maturing and sharing your life with us like of your emotions and the things you went through. This video has helped so many people already! It's been 2 days and I have seen piles of comments saying "thank you Eva". You saved their lives because of this advice! I love you and enjoy that saved life of yours Eva because you won't regret it! X
Vivienne Mendoza ❤️❤️❤️
I want to change the world.
Chatlotte May
Everybody wants to change the world but if we all help we can change the world
pink fluffy unicorn well said
Thank you
We all do ❤❤
I support you!
Can we just talk about all the comments about other people's stories and hearing ages and races and religions and genders but nobody here actually truly knows who each other are but most of the replies and responses are so supportive and helpful. Like wow amazing
Cado Cantwell so true
watching this again in 2020 is so different from when i first saw it 3 years ago. so much has happened since then, my mom passed, I got heartbroken because of a boy, I got harassed and so many other things, it carries so much more weight. i don't know how far ill go but i hope do have the strength to go on, 13 year old me would have never expected what would've happened months later, years later
You are strong and even tho I dont know you I am here for you. Just like eva you will do something amazing in life dont give your life up
The people who disliked this video are heartless💔
I'm freaking crying😭
Same
same
😭
malak ehab army
Same
Seriously cried right along with you! Definitely one of your best videos you've ever made❤️
CourtBlack I cried too
13 Reasons why reminded me of what I have been through as well, it was truly a powerful story.
Me over here watching this in 2019 and getting hella sad already in like the first 10 mins🥺🥺
Sameeee again
Your a strong woman Eva. Keep goin like that. 💗
I hope that every single person on earth gets everything on their lists
Thank you💖❤️
What about the not single people....sorry I had to say it..😐
Maggie Lynn1 🤣🤣
Me too
you have such a beautiful and honest soul.
THIS IS MORE HELPFUL THAN ALMOST ANYTHING I'VE COME ACROSS because it is raw and not sugar coated at all which is exactly what people need ! SO inspiring please keep writing books one day I'll buy ALL OF THEM
So many people needed this video❤️ thank you Eva
Anyone would be lucky to have a friend like you
true
Sophie Angel soooo true
Sophie angel I agree
Who else was trying not cry throughout this video 😭😭😭😭
I did cry 😭
me
Me
I was so frickin close
Totally me 🙋
My list: a home, best friend, family, to be confident and love my self, to be positive and get over everything that made me feel so bad I'm really thankful for Eva i really love you I feel like in a time that I forgot how much my live is important and i felt that I have no reason to live you reminded me that live is all about ups and downs and I promise I'll be there till the end and have fun at every second in my life love you Eva 💝
I'm 12, I don't live with any of my parents. I haven't seen them in about 2 years. My mom got sick and couldn't take care of me. I would blame myself everyday for it and I was alone in a foster home and I had no one to talk to I didn't know anyone. Before all of this happened my mom played hockey for 9 years and me and my mom played hockey everyday. And when my mom got sick I stopped playing hockey. I stopped doing what I loved. Just because it reminded me of her and how "it was my fault". And now I am still in foster care but permanent. But I I realized that it wasn't my fault and now I play hockey like my mom is watching and I do it to make her proud!
Trinity :3 Wow! Your really strong! Keep it up. I wish you all happiness in your life.
Trinity :3 keep it up princess!
Trinity :3. wow i am really sorry for you i love to play hockey💙 too your story is so inspiring i cried when i was reading this😭
Ik I'm late to seeing this video, but it inspired me to tell my story.
I am 13 at the time. It started when I was around 7 or 8. I was in third grade. My father had just got out of prison and was living with us. Well one night it was storming and I went into his and my brothers room (they shared rooms) and stayed in my dads bed. He woke up, and randomly started touching me. The next morning I was in my room playing with my dolls and he said "you know you can't tell anyone right? I'll get in big trouble" and I just shook my head. This continued for two more years up to the 5 grade. That's where things got bad. I developed anxiety, and minor depression. I hadn't selfed harmed, but I was suicidal. My friends would ask what was wrong but I was too afraid to tell them as if what they would do if I did, or what would happen to me. Since I was adopted by my grandparents, my biggest fear was me and my brother getting taken away from them and sent to separate homes. The worst year of my life was 6 grade. I began cutting and burning myself. My dad was still touching me and I hadn't told anyone. Then, one night he almost raped me. I got scared, and told my closest friend at the time. She was going to tell the school counsiler, but I said no, only if it got worse. I cut more. My arm, thigh, and leg. Then, he tried to rape me again. I told her again. I texted her crying, explaining how I felt so unsafe in my own home bc of my own father. She told the school councilor. It was 5 period I got called to the office, and she said that she was going to have to call DHS. I almost started crying, I forgot that I hadn't even told my family, and no one knew what was happening. I ended up spending 2 hours in an empty, boring room. Every now and then they would ask me questions. I remember having to go to a children's therapist and them questioning me as well. Its been a year later. I remember all the times I tried commuting suicide, and how one time I got caught. A year later, and I began smoking. I quit a month later, bc I didn't want to be like my father. Since then, I haven't harmed in anyway. I have had days where I want to pick up a blade, or just want to end it all. There's days where I dream about everything he did to me, and how much he hurt me. One day, I'll have to forgive him, but some things only God can forgive. Thank you for reading my story, and helping me numerous ways. Much love xoxo❤❤
I’m so sorry that happened to you I’m glad you are safe💛❤️
Atleast it's beer now xoxo
Anonymous Person I'm so sorry for you... you made me cry
OMG I can't believe he did that to you.your own father
omg i'm so glad that things are better, what your dad did was sick, but i'm glad your okay
i've struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life and it got to the point where i had to be admitted to a partial hospitalization program. depression sucks ass and i think you're so brave for making this video
cora reese please get better soon, and take care of yourself. I know how anxiety feels and it's hell, but the ones who struggle the most are the strongest people. Take care❤️
cora reese i hope you got a lot out of this video :)) make a list of things to look forward to in the future and make it happen!! just focus on yourself and your happiness and send positive vibes into in earth! you will get those great vibes back :))
Ellie Parker thank you so much💗 Each day gets a little easier but it's helpful to know i'm not the only one out there struggling you know?
Sascha Villalon awe you seem like such a sweet person, thanks for the tips💗 I totally agree about the energy thing, if you send good vibes out into the world you'll get them back
cora reese you're so brave ily 💛💛💛💛💛
What’s beautiful is that, in this video, Eva said that she wants to have a golden retriever someday. And now she does.
Eva, thank you so much for this video and just for every video that you make. I think you’re right, when people point out things, like having suicide prevention week, it really just doesn’t help. That’s what I love about your channel; you are always focusing on the positive and filling your content with uplifting and high spirited things. You are a beautiful human being with an amazing heart. I’m so glad that you’re still breathing and here today. I hope the future brings you everything that you hope for, and that you always try your best to maintain your happiness and healthiness. I love your bright and welcoming personality towards everyone you meet and for always trying your best to keep a smile on your face. You inspire me to keep being happy whenever I watch one of your videos. You are by far one of the best you tubers out there because of your powerful platform that you use to spread joy and smiles. Thank you for everything - and thank you for this video, because it really helps to know that there are people out there that have gone through hell and chose to get out of it instead of staying there. I think we all need to fill our life with the things that make us happy- and to always let our light shine so that others can see what being happy can do. Life is a blessing and God only wants the best for us.
My list:
- be happy
- be able to talk to someone about how I feel
- do well in life and help others
And I feel the same about friends and hiding feelings
Amelia Bawden
I feel the same way 😌
I tried to suicide , but i was scared and angry same time , im also happy that did not work .
Moaq 9494 thank god ur ok
♥️
Moaq 9494 even though I don't know you, I'm very happy that your still alive 🤗
Moaq 9494 thanks for being alive😊
No words 😶 I'm watching this at 2 am and I have no words , Eva u are explaining me
Batya Mockin omg its 2:07 rn😂😂 but its reaaal sad
Lilia & Serena you probably live in different time zones from each other
Candycanegamer 2006 3:37
Batya Mockin 3:27
Batya Mockin OMG SAAAMME
This made me tear up and I don't EVER tear up. Except for cute puppy videos.... but that's not the point. I have an awesome life and I take so so so many things for granted. Yet I still go through depression. Everyone does at some point. Eva, you are wonderful, and all I can say is "thank you."