Thank you everyone for watching! If you’re interested in learning more, check out this article. www.forbes.com/sites/andrewpulrang/2022/03/31/whats-next-in-marriage-equality-for-people-with-disabilities/
I know how frustrating and unfair dealing with the government can be. As a military survivor, they will not allow me to keep my benefits if I remarry before the age of 55. I have a long way to go before I reach 55. I don't understand why my benefits will be terminated when I'm entitled to them and my deceased husband worked hard for it. It should have nothing to do with the new spouse.
I have had patients who have had to divorce because one of them needs to be placed in a nursing home and the nursing home/state will take all assets, leaving nothing for the other spouse to live on. It's heartbreaking seeing couples married 60+ years crying in court because of this. We really need to do better for the elderly and disabled communities
I worked in a nursing home and this is a very true reality that should not happen! It's remarkably cruel that couples who've been dedicated to each other for decades, many for over half their lives, should be forced to divorce just to keep the other spouse in their home and to be able to keep the lifetime of hard earned savings. It's heartbreaking.
Oh I pray for everyone in those situations However, first let's pray for the.little girl back surgery was a success I am just seeing this but I do believe in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as He is Jehova ,Rapha Healer Jehovah Shalom Peace Jehovah Jireh Provider Cover her and everyone with His Precious Blood I know for a fact that nursing homes can Not take all of the income etc when a person is married There is ( or was a law established in mid 1990 and was still in effect in 2004 - 2007 and prayerfully beyond Title: Spousal Empowerment or empowerishment Act Also short term Respite care to help the other spouse get some rest etc or need medical care and perhaps .need to be hospitalized Knowledge is Power A lot of people don't know to ask certain questions Or don't have anyone to help them In stressful times But God Prayer is needed all over the world I am.praying for Cole and Charisma that the Lord will bless them with a healthy baby and safe delivery I truly admire precious young couple loving parents on both sides and family and friends My heart still aches missing our late Miracle baby born with Down Syndrome and needed a Tracheostomy to sustain life from 14 weeks until God was ready for him to go back to Heaven with Him at age 13 he didn't walk til age 4 very Loving and Spiritual everybody's Baby!!! I took care of his dad ( my ex husband) from brain tumor surgery over 5 yrs The first year our baby was still with us God gave me strength to care for both of them together and after all that, he wanted a divorce n his disabled state Family Church family, friends his co workers neighbors were very supportive I am.a Miracle also Took care of my Queen Mother after a stroke 3 weeks after my kidney surgery ( kidney cancer) But God I had to oversee my mother's care over the phone with her medical team, I couldn't walk for 2 months When she was able to leave the second hospital for rehab I brought her to our home (3) hospital beds my home at the same time, one was mine Mother had a G Tube Feeding as did my husband prior to baby's demise which he had for a year But God covered me He later had a Ramb in the Bush (I was Not Looking ) it was the Favor of God ,( similar to Cole and Charisma) 😊 What Satan mean for evil, God turns it around for Good I am a widow now of my late husb Health challenges ( Praise God Not Cancer ) Only daughter very sick thank God for her husb and her village of friends it helps me and she is still mobile Praise God Love with the Agape love of Jesus Christ unconditional ❤️🙏
Wow'm happy for you Guys,nice to hear such great news, it's true that PPL wear a smile on their faces bt suffering of pain inside,thank God all went well ❤from SA
You are living in a bubble .. anyone on things like ODSP we are not allowed to be married or common law or we lose our money.. if we marry we lose all benefits and we fall on our spouse mercy
Well it’s because Medicaid is a government funded program designed to assist ppl that are under the poverty line or low income. These ppl are not low income, hence they are having difficulty.
I’ve often wondered about the legality of your marriage and benefits. The first time you took your vows sealed the deal. I’m so sorry you had to jump through the hoops. I’m grateful you’re no longer depending on Medicaid and they’re rules. What a huge blessing. I’m praying for everyone who’s going through the difficulty of deciding marriage or stay single or divorce for benefits. My heart
Thank you for sharing this. My partner was on Medicare for his disability for two additional years after we got together. He also decided enough is enough. He went back to college and did a few free internships before he got a job with great pay and great benefits. Now he's been completely out of the Medicare system for 3 years. I'm so proud of him.
I know exactly what you are talking about. I had to get a divorce to get benefits, but he got them too, but we couldn't be married and get them. I will always consider you married since 2020 because that's when you committed to each other. Much love to you both ❤.
My mom was on medicaid. She had myasthenia Gravis. Imagine my surprise when she said she and my dad had to divorce to get the benefits she desperately needed. This was way back in 1963. I was 10 years old. I'm so sad you had to go through this Cole. Thank you for bringing this to light. Sad that no one in the insurance or government has the guts to change this antiquated system. Love you both, Nancy Miller
This is something that needs to be talked about more. I was disabled at 19 from a nearly fatal car accident and have been on SSDI and SSI along with Medicare and Medicaid starting a few years after that. I had to live with my mother until I was almost 40 and was able to move in with my partner because I couldn't even afford government housing on what I was getting a month. He and I have been together for 10yrs but we will never be able to get married. It's terrifying having to watch your back at all times because of needing government assistance. Now even the SSDI is affected if you get married on top of losing your SSI and Medicaid. Talking about it is very scary because it puts you at risk of being found out, I'm still deciding if I should post this or not. So many people have told me that marriage is just a piece of paper, no it's not. Just because someone has been married 3 times doesn't make it less important and meaningful to someone else. They have no idea what all is wrapped up in a legal marriage and take it for grated. From being considered family by a hospital and allowed to visit the person you love in an emergency to auto insurance discounts. It affects your whole life. I've been wanting to move back to Virginia someday (lived there 4 yrs as a kid) and was hoping it would be better than how the disabled are treated in Texas since you guys can use food stamps at farmer's markets and such, but it doesn't sound like it will be. Congratulations on making it legal!
Your eligibility structure must lean towards Medicaid to supplement because a full SSD/Medicare recipient doesn't lose benefits they've earned if they marry.
I’m in the exact same situation living with my mom in my 30s. Sometimes I feel like getting put on disability benefits was a trap i’ll never be free of.
The system is so effed up. I’ve always said it. Y’all are fabulous and don’t deserve that crap. We need to fix our broken system. So glad you did things your way and were able to be legally married. Love to you both.
I love and adore this couple. I'm praying that we'll get baby news soon. From my mouth to God's ear. Cole and Charisma's family are one in a million. May God grant them many more years of love and happiness. Continue to give us beautiful content.
@@powderandpaint14 They shared in a previous video that they very much so want to have children. They also shared that they have been getting medical advice because they are ready to have a baby/babies. ❤
I double majored in public health and nursing when I was in college and let me say, I cannot tell you how mad I got at our health care system when I was going through my public health courses. You dive into every aspect of our health care system and you sadly learn that it fails soooooo many individuals, especially with health disparities. I am sorry y’all even have to go through this, but congratulations on finding what works best for you and your marriage❤️ thank you for shedding a light on this topic!
When my son was diagnosed with a high risk form of childhood leukemia at 4y/o I had two paid forms of insurance policy’s for him. Even with private insurance we had to jump through so many hoops, nearly forced to add a “health care manager” that looked out for the insurance company and would affect his treatment negatively and had to pay out of pocket for life saving treatment for pneumonia that cost $40k. We have a serious problem with our healthcare system.
I am so happy that you were able to marry legally. I’m happy that you all are transparent & shared the challenges you had to overcome to be legally wed. I pray God’s continued blessings on your union. See you all next time. God Bless.
I married my husband so I could care for him without having to deal with family interference. I’m a nurse, he has Parkinson’s and now 14 years later we are on hospice. I would do it over and over again! ❤️ Love does conquer all!
Nothing is prohibiting people with disabilities from getting legally married. C & C outlines in detail, once you get married, that is a legal financial contract the joins the union. So, what you spouse's income is counted as your income. All programs have "caps" on the income you can make and also received benefits. So that is the main issues why they did not get married.. the reduction or erasure of benefits if he was married which would include his wife's income counted has his.
Marriage isn't illegal. They simply designed the laws to restrict to keep in poverty those who did not invest or didn't completely invest in SSD/Med who have not reached full pension age.
Thank you guys for sharing your story. I'm disabled and not currently working. I'm single so that makes it even more difficult for me. I don't have much of family support and I need a place to live and transportation which makes life extremely difficult. Navigating disability benefits is extremely stressful. I pray that I can find a way to make life manageable. I have two masters degree so this is not a life I vision. Thanks for being a light to a complicated journey. Blessings!
So happy for y'all being able to make it official! You're so right about the system "sucking people in." Working in healthcare with adults, I've witnessed situations opposite of y'alls where couples who have been married 50+ years are forced to legally divorce in order for one of them to go on Medicaid to get the car that they need after a debilitating health crisis such as a stroke. It's such a sad thing to witness, and it just doesn't feel okay at all. The system is broken.
Your transparency is so refreshing ✨️ no one should question your union/marriage... you both show the willingness of wanting to survive together, whatever the struggles, if anything, it shows your adversary wanting to keep each other happy in every moment 💞✨️💖❤️🔥
Cole and Charisma, thank you for sharing the 'behind-the-scene' challenges you faced. Now you are happily married so you can move ahead with your lives and be happy you are one in the eyes of God and humans. Blessings to both of you.
You guys have no idea how much I was screaming YES! YES! YES! during this video. I have been through all this government bureaucracy for benefits so many times and it is SO insane! I finally got to a point where I just dropped it all and came to accept that I wouldn’t ever get married. Anyway, I’m so happy it has all worked out for you guys and congratulations on your ‘legal’ marriage!
I have been married almost 25 years this coming May. My husband and I have our own disabilities. But we didnt know that the government would take my benefits from me when we got married. Was hell the first few years but we survived. The hubby has a awesome job that helps us both. Y'all played it smart. I wished we would have thought about this back then. Really all that counts is that you both love each other no matter what. ❤️ 🌺
What a complicated and difficult to understand situation you've had to go through. Congratulations and I'm glad that you're now where you wanted to be since November 7 2020.
We had a very small wedding. Just our parents, and there's something so sweet about that intimate moment. I am glad you two could make it official just together.
You two , I was so into the wedding I never thought that you weren’t legally married!!! The vows, the ceremony, the dancing and the family celebration was so beautiful. I have watched it over and over!!! So to do it again to be legal was sweet and poignant. ❤❤
They just didn't sign the govt papers. I have a friend, her and her husband refused to sign papers. They got married wedding ceremony and party. They said they didn't want the govt to have anything to do with their marriage.
Hi Charisma and Cole! Your story is very similar to mine and my husbands. It is a long story and we will share it soon when we start our channel for real. We would definitely sign the petition for marriage equality for all since my husband is also disable from an injury when he was 16, 34 years ago. We also had a commitment ceremony in 2020 but could not get legally married due to my husband’s annuant benefits which would end. But we recently took the leap and got legally married by a Pastor with just a fraction of the people who were at our Zoom wedding in 2020. This is my husband’s last month of benefits and I am a Teacher Assistant but I believe we are being obedient to God and also having to rely on God for everything which is teaching us a lot about what truly matters. So thank you for sharing your story about your marriage because My husband and I can totally relate. I am so glad I am Mrs. Calderon now! 😊
I just lost a friend that was waiting to be approved for physical therapy, not like a few months, but literally years, to say the system is broken is an understatement 😔
Saying prayers for your granddaughter and family… I am a medical assistant and I worked at a children’s hospital and I have seen many successful surgeries for this procedure.
Hi C&C I can completely relate to the system of getting financial help when you're disabled. So, I'm a resident of Los Angeles California and out here it is called Medi-Cal. And what upsets me the most is the people that are experiencing homelessness and addiction and mental health problems that are very serious. They do not have the capacity to even fill out all these forms to even go out and find the resources to get them the help they need to get on SSI. And another horrific thing is you get denied and declined always it's like a known fact here so you have to fight for it and it becomes very weary and it's very difficult to get your benefits of SSI. Now we have lawyers that will take you and your case but then they'll take a bunch of money just to get you on SSI which I guess is better than nothing. So my heart goes out so deeply to people with mental illness that are on the street trying to cope and cannot get any help at all to get the benefits they need to be able to live. I have been on SSI for 30 years. And I was blessed enough to have a mental illness because SSI looks at mental problems much better than they deal with physical disabilities. Now that I have been on it so long I am physically disabled I'm basically bed-bound and I do not know what I would do if I did not have SSI. I am single I have a service dog and I live in a motorhome. So for me it pays my bills barely but I get through the month and I'm so blessed and grateful that I do get this money and it helps me be able to live. All my medical is paid everything is paid there's no co-payment whatsoever. I'm just sharing this side of the story that I totally get where you guys are coming from they don't want Cole to work because they want to keep him in the system in a weird broken system. Thank you guys for sharing. I'm so happy you are out of this whole red tape political piece of crap. And you're making enough money to sustain yourselves it's so beautiful and so wonderful to see. congratulations on your legal marriage and I love you guys. bye Sophie 🐾💕
Completely understand this… my husband has an adult daughter who is deaf and autistic from his first marriage… any $$$ we put aside for her has to be in our name instead of hers so she continues to receive SSI and Medicaid. It’s so bizarre, every dollar in her name they take a dollar away from benefits.
I totally get your situation. I'm disabled and am on Medicare and Medi-Cal. Because of it, i can't work a regular job or i will lose my Medi-Cal benefits. If I married someone, I would lose Social Security and Medi-Cal. Isn't it ridiculous that disabled people lose aid because we try to live a better life? How about Social Services allowing people to see if they can work part time, put that money back into the system, and receive the medical benefits we need to live? This would be easy. Government aid is screwed up. 🤔😯
@@SunnypeachI'm in the same boat as you. Wishing i could get off the broken system and work. But, with a mental illness, i'm not usually able to maintain stability for a long time. I wish it were different, but it is the way it is. We need to change these laws so people on SSI or SSDI can marr. It's a joke and truly unfair.
I adore your families. What wonderful families you have. I lived in California for 32 years and I will always be a California girl. Congratulations on your legally marriage.
Y'all are so lucky to get to have a "real" wedding. Unfortunately, my boyfriend and I have to have a civil ceremony, because of my dad's insurance...it's 2023, if the LGBTQA+ can get legally married, we, the disabled community, should be able too.
Your videos just keep getting better and better. Congrats on your legal marriage. I remember seeing a documentary on the obstacles those with disabilities face getting married a few years ago and then I kind of forgot about it because it doesn’t affect me personally. Thank you for bringing this issue to my attention again. It is extremely unfair and ableist to have these policies. Not only do you two bring so much joy to my life by sharing your day to day lives and laughs with us. You are also educating us at the same time. Sending you both lots of love. Constantly rooting for all your dreams to come true. P.S. Congrats on your Kay Sponsorship. That’s huge!!! 💎
Congratulations on making it happen despite a flawed system...both versions of second wedding were beautiful, especially family comments and Charisma's dress 😍 💖
This really hit close to home for me as I’m on Medicaid and pay into a medical insurance plan that increased 47% this year. Trying to get help to navigate through all of this has been impossible. The frustration is off the charts!
I understand exactly what you mean about marriage & bureaucracy. There are times when being in a commitment you are morally happy with, if even for awhile, has to do. I bet not one, single, person feels any different about you as a couple. Paper does not make you married but it's nice to have. I think you are triple married now! Congratulations times three!
As someone who is gradually working my way off of the government programs that I've been on most of my life, I can completely empathize. For me it feels like the programs are designed to pull the rug out from under me as soon as I make any attempts to get off of these programs (almost as if to force me to stay on the programs and not make any further attempts). My plan around that nasty red tape, is to make little to no money while I create a large body of artwork over a couple years, then get approval for "SSI's 'Plan to Achieve Self Support' and market those paintings nationally or internationally rapidly enough that I can afford to "Rip the Band-Aid off quickly". So happy for you guys and thank you for sharing.
Didn't know if you were gonna make a video about this after talking about it on the WAGs podcast a few years back. Good for you guys for doing things your way. 👍
Thanks for sharing, it’s something most people don’t even know about. You guys are awesome for being so honest with discussing these issues! Also, love the new change with your hair Charisma!
It is sad that, in order to prevent those who cheat the system, the government makes it difficult for loving couples to get married legally. I am glad that Cole and Charisma are in a place that they can do what they wanted despite the financial barriers put in their way.
So sad that the government puts people with disabilities in this terrible predicament. The government tries to make it so complicated for people hoping they give up and they get to keep the money. But you guys prove that love and persistence, finds a way. Bravo to you. Shame on the system.
The hoops people with disabilities have to go through is UNACCEPTABLE. Keeping someone poor is inhuman. I am so glad you are here to shed a light on this topic.
Oh wow! First, I want to say congratulations on being able to finally be legally married. I am just disappointed that our laws are what caused this to happen. It hurts my heart that they take thousands out of my check a year that is meant to help people like Cole, but they make it difficult for them. I am so glad you were able to continue without them, and I pray that the laws change so that people can get the help they need. Love you both.
Awww....congrats. Being introduced to ur channel has made me more aware of the struggles that disabled ppl endure on a daily basis. How much my country does not easily faciltate disabled persons. Ty u for the education.
The ceremony was so Beautiful! It made me cry! I loved how you both had your initial wedding vows made before God in the beginning, even though the law didn't recognize it. Continue to do well!!❤
This world is so cruel & unjust. It was a beautiful ceremony seeing the both of you & your family celebrate your “LEGAL VOWS”. Your so blessed to have your soul-mate. One day we’ll all be together in eternity with our sweet Heavenly Father who loves us unconditionally no matter the circumstance. Sweet blessings always
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I worked with SCI patients at a rehab for 4 years and had no idea about how marriage can negatively affect benefits.
Thank you so much for sharing! As a financial planner, these are topics that really interest me because just the idea of marriage equality has no many implications in our society.
Thank you for sharing this. My daughter, who has Down Syndrome is on Medicaid. In our state we have to submit several forms each year to have it continue. She also works at a job she loves, and that is an important part of her not being isolated at home. We have to limit how many hours she works to be able to keep her medicaid.
This is so true!! I’ve been disabled (8 back surgeries) since 2010. I started receiving SSDI in 2014 but I don’t qualify for SSI because I’ve been married since 1999 and my husband’s income puts us way over the income allowed for me to have been able to receive SSI also. That God it all works out for us though because with my husband’s income and my SSDI we are good and I am on my husband’s insurance. But sadly so many people aren’t as fortunate as us and they struggle so much. The allowances and income guidelines need to change. Married income guidelines is like only $29,000 a year in PA and let’s be honest- most couples with one partner receiving some form of disability income and the other spouse working will indeed make over $29,000 and so they’re then disqualified.
Thank you everyone for watching! If you’re interested in learning more, check out this article. www.forbes.com/sites/andrewpulrang/2022/03/31/whats-next-in-marriage-equality-for-people-with-disabilities/
DATHE yusufyusuf yusufyusuf yusufyusuf yusufyusuf yusufyusuf
Love this video and you bringing a light to this! I am disabled and married and we have 4 disabled children. Felt so much of everything you guys said.
True... understood!... sucks... thanks for sharing! Horrible bureaucracy! Glad you are actually able to do this! Lucky ones.
I know how frustrating and unfair dealing with the government can be. As a military survivor, they will not allow me to keep my benefits if I remarry before the age of 55. I have a long way to go before I reach 55. I don't understand why my benefits will be terminated when I'm entitled to them and my deceased husband worked hard for it. It should have nothing to do with the new spouse.
I have had patients who have had to divorce because one of them needs to be placed in a nursing home and the nursing home/state will take all assets, leaving nothing for the other spouse to live on. It's heartbreaking seeing couples married 60+ years crying in court because of this. We really need to do better for the elderly and disabled communities
💔
So True.
I worked in a nursing home and this is a very true reality that should not happen! It's remarkably cruel that couples who've been dedicated to each other for decades, many for over half their lives, should be forced to divorce just to keep the other spouse in their home and to be able to keep the lifetime of hard earned savings. It's heartbreaking.
Oh I pray for everyone in those situations
However, first let's pray for the.little girl back surgery was a success
I am just seeing this but I do believe in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as He is Jehova ,Rapha Healer
Jehovah Shalom Peace
Jehovah Jireh Provider
Cover her and everyone with His Precious Blood
I know for a fact that nursing homes can Not take all of the income etc when a person is married
There is ( or was a law established in mid 1990 and was still in effect in 2004 - 2007 and prayerfully beyond
Title:
Spousal Empowerment or empowerishment Act
Also short term Respite care to help the other spouse get some rest etc or
need medical care and perhaps .need to be hospitalized
Knowledge is Power
A lot of people don't know to ask certain questions
Or don't have anyone to help them
In stressful times
But God
Prayer is needed all over the world
I am.praying
for Cole and Charisma that the Lord will bless them with a healthy baby and safe delivery
I truly admire precious young couple loving parents on both sides and family and friends
My heart still aches missing our late Miracle baby born with Down Syndrome and needed a Tracheostomy to sustain life from 14 weeks until God was ready for him to go back to Heaven with Him at age 13 he didn't walk til age 4 very Loving and Spiritual everybody's Baby!!!
I took care of his dad ( my ex husband) from brain tumor surgery over 5 yrs
The first year our baby was still with us God gave me strength to care for both of them together and after all that, he wanted a divorce n his disabled state
Family Church family, friends his co workers neighbors were very supportive
I am.a Miracle also
Took care of my Queen Mother after a stroke 3 weeks after my kidney surgery ( kidney cancer) But God
I had to oversee my mother's care over the phone with her medical team, I couldn't walk for 2 months
When she was able to leave the second hospital for rehab
I brought her to our home (3) hospital beds my home at the same time, one was mine
Mother had a G Tube Feeding as did my husband prior to baby's demise which he had for a year
But God covered me He later had a Ramb in the Bush (I was Not Looking ) it was the Favor of God ,( similar to Cole and Charisma) 😊
What Satan mean for evil, God turns it around for Good
I am a widow now of my late husb
Health challenges ( Praise God Not Cancer )
Only daughter very sick thank God for her husb and her village of friends it helps me and she is still mobile Praise God
Love with the Agape love of Jesus Christ unconditional ❤️🙏
Wow'm happy for you Guys,nice to hear such great news, it's true that PPL wear a smile on their faces bt suffering of pain inside,thank God all went well ❤from SA
I'm Canadian. I can't imagine my health care being connected to my marital status.
Happy for you both. Sad for others who can't make that decision.
It is only the Federally Funded Medicare system that has these limitations. Not private insurance companies.
You are living in a bubble .. anyone on things like ODSP we are not allowed to be married or common law or we lose our money.. if we marry we lose all benefits and we fall on our spouse mercy
It's the "American Dream."
Canadians with disabilities don’t have marriage equality in Canada either
Well it’s because Medicaid is a government funded program designed to assist ppl that are under the poverty line or low income. These ppl are not low income, hence they are having difficulty.
I’ve often wondered about the legality of your marriage and benefits. The first time you took your vows sealed the deal. I’m so sorry you had to jump through the hoops. I’m grateful you’re no longer depending on Medicaid and they’re rules. What a huge blessing. I’m praying for everyone who’s going through the difficulty of deciding marriage or stay single or divorce for benefits. My heart
Yes, agreed and AMEN!
Thank you for sharing this. My partner was on Medicare for his disability for two additional years after we got together. He also decided enough is enough. He went back to college and did a few free internships before he got a job with great pay and great benefits. Now he's been completely out of the Medicare system for 3 years. I'm so proud of him.
I know exactly what you are talking about. I had to get a divorce to get benefits, but he got them too, but we couldn't be married and get them. I will always consider you married since 2020 because that's when you committed to each other. Much love to you both ❤.
Congratulations on your legal marriage. You are both so special ❤
My mom was on medicaid. She had myasthenia Gravis. Imagine my surprise when she said she and my dad had to divorce to get the benefits she desperately needed. This was way back in 1963. I was 10 years old. I'm so sad you had to go through this Cole. Thank you for bringing this to light. Sad that no one in the insurance or government has the guts to change this antiquated system. Love you both, Nancy Miller
This is something that needs to be talked about more. I was disabled at 19 from a nearly fatal car accident and have been on SSDI and SSI along with Medicare and Medicaid starting a few years after that. I had to live with my mother until I was almost 40 and was able to move in with my partner because I couldn't even afford government housing on what I was getting a month. He and I have been together for 10yrs but we will never be able to get married. It's terrifying having to watch your back at all times because of needing government assistance. Now even the SSDI is affected if you get married on top of losing your SSI and Medicaid. Talking about it is very scary because it puts you at risk of being found out, I'm still deciding if I should post this or not. So many people have told me that marriage is just a piece of paper, no it's not. Just because someone has been married 3 times doesn't make it less important and meaningful to someone else. They have no idea what all is wrapped up in a legal marriage and take it for grated. From being considered family by a hospital and allowed to visit the person you love in an emergency to auto insurance discounts. It affects your whole life. I've been wanting to move back to Virginia someday (lived there 4 yrs as a kid) and was hoping it would be better than how the disabled are treated in Texas since you guys can use food stamps at farmer's markets and such, but it doesn't sound like it will be. Congratulations on making it legal!
Your eligibility structure must lean towards Medicaid to supplement because a full SSD/Medicare recipient doesn't lose benefits they've earned if they marry.
I’m in the exact same situation living with my mom in my 30s. Sometimes I feel like getting put on disability benefits was a trap i’ll never be free of.
The system is so effed up. I’ve always said it. Y’all are fabulous and don’t deserve that crap. We need to fix our broken system. So glad you did things your way and were able to be legally married. Love to you both.
I love and adore this couple. I'm praying that we'll get baby news soon. From my mouth to God's ear. Cole and Charisma's family are one in a million. May God grant them many more years of love and happiness. Continue to give us beautiful content.
Not everyone wants to have kids or can have them, don't forget.
@@powderandpaint14 They shared in a previous video that they very much so want to have children. They also shared that they have been getting medical advice because they are ready to have a baby/babies. ❤
@@chrisowens9231 Thank you darling
CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU BOTH!! Mr & Mrs Sidner officially!!! May God continuously bless your union!!!!!!!
Y’all’s last name is Sidner- I didn’t know that. Lol I didn’t know what ur name was. Hahaha.
It's sydnor
I’m so happy for you guys…….may God continue to bless your union! Here’s to a lifetime of love, laughter and joy!
Cheers to that. 🥂
I double majored in public health and nursing when I was in college and let me say, I cannot tell you how mad I got at our health care system when I was going through my public health courses. You dive into every aspect of our health care system and you sadly learn that it fails soooooo many individuals, especially with health disparities. I am sorry y’all even have to go through this, but congratulations on finding what works best for you and your marriage❤️ thank you for shedding a light on this topic!
When my son was diagnosed with a high risk form of childhood leukemia at 4y/o I had two paid forms of insurance policy’s for him. Even with private insurance we had to jump through so many hoops, nearly forced to add a “health care manager” that looked out for the insurance company and would affect his treatment negatively and had to pay out of pocket for life saving treatment for pneumonia that cost $40k. We have a serious problem with our healthcare system.
I am so happy that you were able to marry legally. I’m happy that you all are transparent & shared the challenges you had to overcome to be legally wed. I pray God’s continued blessings on your union. See you all next time. God Bless.
Cole said he is a golddigger. He's so funny. I'm so happy you guys found each other. God bless your union for 100+ years
I married my husband so I could care for him without having to deal with family interference. I’m a nurse, he has Parkinson’s and now 14 years later we are on hospice. I would do it over and over again! ❤️ Love does conquer all!
Honestly I loved seeing yalls secret handshake after your wedding kiss 🔥 stuff like that warms my heart
I believe that person with disabilities should be able to legally marry just like people who do not have disabilities .
AAAANNNNDDD If a gay couple does a civil union they can have each others benefits etc I’m a paraplegic that has been “married” for almost 29 years
Nothing is prohibiting people with disabilities from getting legally married. C & C outlines in detail, once you get married, that is a legal financial contract the joins the union. So, what you spouse's income is counted as your income. All programs have "caps" on the income you can make and also received benefits. So that is the main issues why they did not get married.. the reduction or erasure of benefits if he was married which would include his wife's income counted has his.
I definitely agree!
Marriage isn't illegal. They simply designed the laws to restrict to keep in poverty those who did not invest or didn't completely invest in SSD/Med who have not reached full pension age.
We can lmao
Thank you guys for sharing your story. I'm disabled and not currently working. I'm single so that makes it even more difficult for me. I don't have much of family support and I need a place to live and transportation which makes life extremely difficult. Navigating disability benefits is extremely stressful. I pray that I can find a way to make life manageable. I have two masters degree so this is not a life I vision. Thanks for being a light to a complicated journey. Blessings!
So happy for y'all being able to make it official! You're so right about the system "sucking people in." Working in healthcare with adults, I've witnessed situations opposite of y'alls where couples who have been married 50+ years are forced to legally divorce in order for one of them to go on Medicaid to get the car that they need after a debilitating health crisis such as a stroke. It's such a sad thing to witness, and it just doesn't feel okay at all. The system is broken.
Your transparency is so refreshing ✨️ no one should question your union/marriage... you both show the willingness of wanting to survive together, whatever the struggles, if anything, it shows your adversary wanting to keep each other happy in every moment 💞✨️💖❤️🔥
This sounds so complicated but I am so glad that you got it straightened out. Love you guys so much 💕
Cole and Charisma, thank you for sharing the 'behind-the-scene' challenges you faced. Now you are happily married so you can move ahead with your lives and be happy you are one in the eyes of God and humans. Blessings to both of you.
25 years and me and my forever fiancé know this all to well ❤ so glad you both were able to get married ❤️😊👏🏼
Tears! I love this young couple and their beautiful big family so much.
You guys have no idea how much I was screaming YES! YES! YES! during this video. I have been through all this government bureaucracy for benefits so many times and it is SO insane! I finally got to a point where I just dropped it all and came to accept that I wouldn’t ever get married.
Anyway, I’m so happy it has all worked out for you guys and congratulations on your ‘legal’ marriage!
I have been married almost 25 years this coming May. My husband and I have our own disabilities. But we didnt know that the government would take my benefits from me when we got married. Was hell the first few years but we survived. The hubby has a awesome job that helps us both. Y'all played it smart. I wished we would have thought about this back then. Really all that counts is that you both love each other no matter what. ❤️ 🌺
What a complicated and difficult to understand situation you've had to go through. Congratulations and I'm glad that you're now where you wanted to be since November 7 2020.
We had a very small wedding. Just our parents, and there's something so sweet about that intimate moment. I am glad you two could make it official just together.
You two , I was so into the wedding I never thought that you weren’t legally married!!! The vows, the ceremony, the dancing and the family celebration was so beautiful. I have watched it over and over!!! So to do it again to be legal was sweet and poignant. ❤❤
They just didn't sign the govt papers. I have a friend, her and her husband refused to sign papers. They got married wedding ceremony and party. They said they didn't want the govt to have anything to do with their marriage.
Hi Charisma and Cole! Your story is very similar to mine and my husbands. It is a long story and we will share it soon when we start our channel for real. We would definitely sign the petition for marriage equality for all since my husband is also disable from an injury when he was 16, 34 years ago. We also had a commitment ceremony in 2020 but could not get legally married due to my husband’s annuant benefits which would end. But we recently took the leap and got legally married by a Pastor with just a fraction of the people who were at our Zoom wedding in 2020. This is my husband’s last month of benefits and I am a Teacher Assistant but I believe we are being obedient to God and also having to rely on God for everything which is teaching us a lot about what truly matters. So thank you for sharing your story about your marriage because My husband and I can totally relate. I am so glad I am Mrs. Calderon now! 😊
I just lost a friend that was waiting to be approved for physical therapy, not like a few months, but literally years, to say the system is broken is an understatement 😔
Hi guys 😍 I'm asking for prayers 🙏 for my 10 year old granddaughter who's having back surgery on March 10th for scoliosis. I'm stressed... Thanks ❤️
Hi I'm sending Prayers to your granddaughter and family, Healing and Strength
prayer for your grandbaby!
🙏 praying
Saying prayers for your granddaughter and family… I am a medical assistant and I worked at a children’s hospital and I have seen many successful surgeries for this procedure.
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Hi C&C
I can completely relate to the system of getting financial help when you're disabled. So, I'm a resident of Los Angeles California and out here it is called Medi-Cal. And what upsets me the most is the people that are experiencing homelessness and addiction and mental health problems that are very serious. They do not have the capacity to even fill out all these forms to even go out and find the resources to get them the help they need to get on SSI. And another horrific thing is you get denied and declined always it's like a known fact here so you have to fight for it and it becomes very weary and it's very difficult to get your benefits of SSI. Now we have lawyers that will take you and your case but then they'll take a bunch of money just to get you on SSI which I guess is better than nothing. So my heart goes out so deeply to people with mental illness that are on the street trying to cope and cannot get any help at all to get the benefits they need to be able to live. I have been on SSI for 30 years. And I was blessed enough to have a mental illness because SSI looks at mental problems much better than they deal with physical disabilities. Now that I have been on it so long I am physically disabled I'm basically bed-bound and I do not know what I would do if I did not have SSI. I am single I have a service dog and I live in a motorhome. So for me it pays my bills barely but I get through the month and I'm so blessed and grateful that I do get this money and it helps me be able to live. All my medical is paid everything is paid there's no co-payment whatsoever. I'm just sharing this side of the story that I totally get where you guys are coming from they don't want Cole to work because they want to keep him in the system in a weird broken system. Thank you guys for sharing. I'm so happy you are out of this whole red tape political piece of crap. And you're making enough money to sustain yourselves it's so beautiful and so wonderful to see. congratulations on your legal marriage and I love you guys. bye Sophie 🐾💕
Completely understand this… my husband has an adult daughter who is deaf and autistic from his first marriage… any $$$ we put aside for her has to be in our name instead of hers so she continues to receive SSI and Medicaid. It’s so bizarre, every dollar in her name they take a dollar away from benefits.
I totally get your situation. I'm disabled and am on Medicare and Medi-Cal. Because of it, i can't work a regular job or i will lose my Medi-Cal benefits. If I married someone, I would lose Social Security and Medi-Cal. Isn't it ridiculous that disabled people lose aid because we try to live a better life? How about Social Services allowing people to see if they can work part time, put that money back into the system, and receive the medical benefits we need to live? This would be easy. Government aid is screwed up. 🤔😯
Congratulations!
When you got married before God, you were married!
Amen!
Thanks!
Thank you so much for your support!! We are so grateful 🥰
Cole, I feel you. I hate dealing with dysfunctional megasystems, especially when they pull the purse strings.
Yeap, makes it very difficult for some. Cole is a trooper tho 🙏
same! I wish I have the means to get out of SSI/medicaid & quit jumping through hoops. I want to get marry in the future without losing benefits
@@SunnypeachI'm in the same boat as you. Wishing i could get off the broken system and work. But, with a mental illness, i'm not usually able to maintain stability for a long time. I wish it were different, but it is the way it is. We need to change these laws so people on SSI or SSDI can marr. It's a joke and truly unfair.
You guys are just precious. Keep rising shinning stars.
Wow!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS 🎊
Tell me why I had so many tears
Love y’all God bless ❤❤❤❤
I adore your families. What wonderful families you have. I lived in California for 32 years and I will always be a California girl. Congratulations on your legally marriage.
Lord knows I tried to hold back the tears, no luck 😭🙂. Congratulations to Mr&Mrs Snider❤️❤️
Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Sydnor. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 Love ya’s ❤
I’m so happy for you guys, it’s official!!!❤
Y'all are so lucky to get to have a "real" wedding. Unfortunately, my boyfriend and I have to have a civil ceremony, because of my dad's insurance...it's 2023, if the LGBTQA+ can get legally married, we, the disabled community, should be able too.
Soooo agree!!
You are absolutely right
May God bless you with children. Still waiting for the update Yr pregnancy.
Totally agree
Sorry I'm curious but ... Why do differently abled people have that restriction? It doesn't apply in my country so I am legit curious.
Prayers for you both🙏🏽. Stay the same and keep communicating with each other and GOD!
Your videos just keep getting better and better. Congrats on your legal marriage. I remember seeing a documentary on the obstacles those with disabilities face getting married a few years ago and then I kind of forgot about it because it doesn’t affect me personally. Thank you for bringing this issue to my attention again. It is extremely unfair and ableist to have these policies. Not only do you two bring so much joy to my life by sharing your day to day lives and laughs with us. You are also educating us at the same time.
Sending you both lots of love. Constantly rooting for all your dreams to come true.
P.S. Congrats on your Kay Sponsorship. That’s huge!!! 💎
Awww, Sophie was so sweet sitting there looking up to you guys. Congratulations guys!
Congratulations on making it happen despite a flawed system...both versions of second wedding were beautiful, especially family comments and Charisma's dress 😍 💖
Congratulations on officially becoming one. May Good continue to reign his Blessings upon the both you and your families
This really hit close to home for me as I’m on Medicaid and pay into a medical insurance plan that increased 47% this year. Trying to get help to navigate through all of this has been impossible. The frustration is off the charts!
Aw, that is such a sweet story ❤️ I’m so happy for you both!
I understand exactly what you mean about marriage & bureaucracy. There are times when being in a commitment you are morally happy with, if even for awhile, has to do. I bet not one, single, person feels any different about you as a couple. Paper does not make you married but it's nice to have. I think you are triple married now! Congratulations times three!
As someone who is gradually working my way off of the government programs that I've been on most of my life, I can completely empathize. For me it feels like the programs are designed to pull the rug out from under me as soon as I make any attempts to get off of these programs (almost as if to force me to stay on the programs and not make any further attempts). My plan around that nasty red tape, is to make little to no money while I create a large body of artwork over a couple years, then get approval for "SSI's 'Plan to Achieve Self Support' and market those paintings nationally or internationally rapidly enough that I can afford to "Rip the Band-Aid off quickly". So happy for you guys and thank you for sharing.
Thanks for shedding light on this “super murky” reality. You guys are great for revealing how to navigate a truly bizarre system.
Such a sweet moment ❤️ Thanks for sharing this. Love you guys. Congratulations to you both ❤️
Didn't know if you were gonna make a video about this after talking about it on the WAGs podcast a few years back. Good for you guys for doing things your way. 👍
Thanks for sharing, it’s something most people don’t even know about. You guys are awesome for being so honest with discussing these issues! Also, love the new change with your hair Charisma!
We understand. We love y’all and pray everything works in y’all’s favor! Congratulations and keep loving each other because it’s beautiful!
So very happy for you guys! Congratulations!!🎉🎊
So happy about BOTH ceremonies! Praying for continued blessings!!!
This is so sad, but yet so true. Congratulations to both of you ❤❤❤
It is sad that, in order to prevent those who cheat the system, the government makes it difficult for loving couples to get married legally. I am glad that Cole and Charisma are in a place that they can do what they wanted despite the financial barriers put in their way.
So sad that the government puts people with disabilities in this terrible predicament. The government tries to make it so complicated for people hoping they give up and they get to keep the money. But you guys prove that love and persistence, finds a way. Bravo to you. Shame on the system.
The hoops people with disabilities have to go through is UNACCEPTABLE. Keeping someone poor is inhuman. I am so glad you are here to shed a light on this topic.
Oh wow! First, I want to say congratulations on being able to finally be legally married. I am just disappointed that our laws are what caused this to happen. It hurts my heart that they take thousands out of my check a year that is meant to help people like Cole, but they make it difficult for them. I am so glad you were able to continue without them, and I pray that the laws change so that people can get the help they need. Love you both.
God will provide for your needs, always trust in Him!! God bless you both. 💕🤗💕
Congratulations!! I am so sorry that our health system is so awful. May God continue to bless your union.
Awww....congrats. Being introduced to ur channel has made me more aware of the struggles that disabled ppl endure on a daily basis. How much my country does not easily faciltate disabled persons. Ty u for the education.
Congratulations from the day you two even met , love and joy continually 🙏🏾✨
The ceremony was so Beautiful! It made me cry! I loved how you both had your initial wedding vows made before God in the beginning, even though the law didn't recognize it. Continue to do well!!❤
I love all 3 ceremonies! Celebrating love ❤️ 😍!
Congratulations. I pray God's continued blessings on you
Congress needs to fix this unfair situation ASAP.
Congratulations - So happy for both of you!
This world is so cruel & unjust. It was a beautiful ceremony seeing the both of you & your family celebrate your “LEGAL VOWS”. Your so blessed to have your soul-mate. One day we’ll all be together in eternity with our sweet Heavenly Father who loves us unconditionally no matter the circumstance. Sweet blessings always
Utterly wild! 😡 I'm sooo happy for you guys. You deserve that marriage certificate. 🎉🎉🎉
Thank you for sharing something so private...congrats again and I love you guys! Xoxo from Dallas Texas ❤️
Commitment ceremonies are more common than people realize. Love you two 👰🏽♀️💞🤵🏼
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I worked with SCI patients at a rehab for 4 years and had no idea about how marriage can negatively affect benefits.
Thank you for sharing your happiness! Many blessed years together! 🙏❤
YOU TWO HAVE THAT
"LOOK OF LOVE"FOR
ONE ANOTHER.... IT'S SO
WONDERFUL...💕💕from. a grandma
I’m so happy for you guys, I hate that the system has some ridiculous rules.
Thank you so much for sharing! As a financial planner, these are topics that really interest me because just the idea of marriage equality has no many implications in our society.
Congratulations! That was beautiful and made me cry! Love you two!
When I saw your videos I forget my pain in my relationship you two have such an innocent love may God bless you more!
Congrats, y'all!! And thanks for putting this info out there for people (like me) who didn't know about this.
Congratulations!! So happy for the two of you.
Congratulations to you for getting to this moment.
Thank you for sharing this. My daughter, who has Down Syndrome is on Medicaid. In our state we have to submit several forms each year to have it continue. She also works at a job she loves, and that is an important part of her not being isolated at home. We have to limit how many hours she works to be able to keep her medicaid.
I'm so happy for you both!!! 😭 Congratulations!!!!💞🎉
This is so true!! I’ve been disabled (8 back surgeries) since 2010. I started receiving SSDI in 2014 but I don’t qualify for SSI because I’ve been married since 1999 and my husband’s income puts us way over the income allowed for me to have been able to receive SSI also. That God it all works out for us though because with my husband’s income and my SSDI we are good and I am on my husband’s insurance. But sadly so many people aren’t as fortunate as us and they struggle so much. The allowances and income guidelines need to change. Married income guidelines is like only $29,000 a year in PA and let’s be honest- most couples with one partner receiving some form of disability income and the other spouse working will indeed make over $29,000 and so they’re then disqualified.
God bless you with many years together. Love both of you.
Awww that’s sad, but that’s the way it is. Congratulations and best wishes on your marriage
I’m so happy for you!! 💕💕💕
Congratulations on getting legally married! Wishing you so much love, joy & laughter!!
I'm in Healthcare and I know this is true...just insane for many raggedy systems in the country...love u guys!
Aww, I’m so happy ya’ll are legally married now! No more red tape!
Cole and Charisma are both blessed and highly favored 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯