Do you get tired of people asking, "You're so smart, why aren't you successful?" I never had an answer to that question until I found out I was autistic. Now I know. I'm all IQ and not much EQ.
yeahh my husband used to tell me that. i was diagnosed last week. I have. a masters degree, and 2 graduation courses, but i live with minimun wage and my husband was Always "how come you are so smart but u cant keep a good job". now i know. and it's ok
@Jason Calcanis Well actually you do - a diagnosis needs to be set by a person with the right training and education to set that diagnosis. If not, it's not a diagnosis, it's speculation based on your own personal experience.
I'm 57 and have never been formally diagnosed because I've just come to terms with the fact that I am autistic. I've taken every self-test online and all of them came up stating I should be tested for autism. At first, I went into a sort of denial thinking "You can't always believe what's on the internet". Then I was high and listened to some of Samdee Sams videos. Being stoned slows my thinking down enough that I can hear things instead of my internal chatter talking over what is being imparted to me. Absolutely everything I heard on those videos fit me to a T. I can't deny I'm autistic. There's no test that can convince me I'm not. I would like to eventually speak with a professional about it (if I need a formal diagnosis for something having to do with my job or something like that). But other than that, I finally feel like a door was opened that shows me why I've reacted to the world around me. That I'm not weird or eccentric. There are actual reasons why I've been this way my entire life. That part is liberating. . The part I have problems with is mourning the fact that my life may have been much more positive had I known about this decades before this. I probably would have made many different choices.
I got my diagnosis, because I wanted the work place accommodations. So many times I've done my job well. The other people at the jobs were really why it didn't go well. Small talk after a while day in and day out starts to grate my nerves.
I'm a 52 yr old high functioning Autistic/Aspergers, diagnosed professionally when I was 50, but every thing was a mess already, but to finally know why I never did fit in, the weight lifted of my shoulders & to begin to understand to heal, amazing, finding you, amazing, so very grateful for this fantastic content, I've found my tribe, my r load to recovery, thank you all here today...
I'm 46 and was weeks away from having a formal diagnoses only for my local(ish) mental health department to semi-closedown in April due to lockdown. It hasn't reopened since which is upsetting as I want to get it and get on with my life. What made it even more upsetting was that at my initial assessment was that the psychologist (?) who spoke to me, my father and "little" sister told us he was sure I was autistic spectrum (it seems to run in my family)
@@desperatemohammedantheworl5833 I feel you, I am 53 and was just diagnosed. It took half a year for me to finally get my assessment due to the appt wait and the interruption of COVID-19. It was hella nail-bitting time but I finally ended up with an evaluation that gave me Persistent Depression, Major Depression-recurrent, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Executive Function and Frontal Lobe Deficits and Social Communication Disorder. But they did not place me on the spectrum, which I thought was weird.
@@Eristhenes great to have that awareness now & anytime you want to talk, about anything, anything at all, email me glenndavies235@yahoo.com.au, based in New Zealand, been living on the Gold Coast for 15yrs, been here 6 months, IT SUX, & looking to get back within the next 6 months tops....all the best Ahk....
I was diagnosed today, and it really is mind blowing how much of an effect it has had on me. Everything clicked, and it all made sense in one moment. It's been a crazy experience, but I'm very glad there's a community on TH-cam. I'll be looking for a local community soon, if there are any groups meeting right now.
@@hangingchad_ Yes, "how sweet it is to be in the company of one's brethren". TH-cam is filled with a lot of trash, like most media these days, but in this instance it is beautifully affirming to connect with others, with whom we can share our experiences. All the best!
3 years ago. I’m 60. Stress from being evicted brought all my ptsd ( from early attempts to “help” me) To the surface. I was seeing a Psychologist for support . He saw all my weirdness for a year while I was self studying autism to see if I was. I was. My Therapist and I just went through the DSM5 criteria for Autism and he agreed. WithThe Autism And PTSD. Which I now get ssd for. Thankfully. 🙏🙃
I remember the adults from my childhood, and their litany of, "You're not trying hard enough"...or "You're not working to your potential"...or "Maybe if you acted more like the other kids, they'd like you better." Finding out just how wrong the adults from my childhood were about me has been an emotional psunami of anger, relief, hurt, validation, a whole LOT of rejection, a bit of acceptance here and there, and a profound sadness at the cruelty I inflicted upon myself when I was so desperate for acceptance and to "just be normal."
Snap but luckily my parents put little academic pressure on me but 'your not trying hard enough' rings in my ears......... What a relief though to finally know what is wrong though for me at the age of 63 and just having an assessment a lot of grief is coming up............. better late than never I guess? Good thing is since I self identified at 61 I have stopped much of the masking and pressure on myself and the depression is way less............... which is good. Go well.
😥 Yes! so much negativity and I internalized all of it and told myself for 40 years it was all my fault and I had to try harder. Tried so hard still my life is a mess and I have horribly burned out at 45.
Thank you all for sharing your experiences, they are so familiar. It seems like Australia and the UK have much higher awareness and acceptance of those with autism/Aspergers. Here in the US it’s taboo to think of anyone but a child as being different. I live in a city with a very large university with an autism research center for children and adolescents, but after repeated calls for referrals to groups or ways to meet with others like me (60 years old), they never returned my call. I often wonder where their kids go after aging out of that system. It’s a lonely existence, as I get older it gets more tiring to try to fit in. Thanks for acknowledging the reality of our atypical lives -the struggles and triumphs. Thanks, too, Paul for all your hard work bringing the message to us and the rest of the world.
It's important to know your genetics Aspergers is a genetic thing. My Dad is from Afghanistan and I know I inherited this condition from his side of the family. I hope to speak about my life story some day. I'm blessed to be alive today. I want to meet people who have struggled with Autism
hearing this conversation made me want to cry because of how overwhelmed I was getting with how relatable a lot of your guys' struggles were and the similarities in behavior and or struggles. Hearing Paul say that needing to go through the lengthy process of trying to get an "official" diagnosis from someone isn't really necessary is very comforting, because where I live there aren't really any resources or "professionals" who would be able to do that for adults, let alone women, and I don't have the finances or emotional stability to put myself through a lengthy stress test with the hopes of getting an answer.
It's really interesting to hear, how different the process was for everybody! I'm going through my own diagnosis process right now and it's very different from what I expected. I have been mostly answering questions / filling out questioneers. The diagnosing doctor asked for a person that knows me very well to come in, but since it's plague times we agreed on having them write some things down and mail it in instead. I decided to have my boyfriend do it, because my parents never really thought anything was wrong with me - probably because they also have undiagnosed adhd and autism. I'm the first in my family to get any kind of psychological diagnosis, so that's been an adventure. When I learned about my adhd I suddenly noticed all those behaviours in my relatives and it's so strange to think I allways thought everyone was "normal". lol
Thank you, this was so great. Really appreciate everyone's contributions. I was assessed a few months ago, age 59. I cried through this presentation, really touched me to hear your experiences and validated so many of my own.
Hi I would just like to say that you have helped me sooooo much, I used to think I was all alone, like no one was the same, but now thanks to you I'm almost certain I have Autism. Thank you ♥️. Words cannot express how grateful I am 💖💖💖
What a wonderful video. I haven't found another thing like this. It was nice to watch a group talking before trying to joining a group on my own. I have an unofficial diagnosis and am debating whether or not I just need to get it done to make my head quiet down. It was really wonderful to hear other peoples' wide range of experiences. It seems odd to me that some can be diagnosed in an hour and others have to go through hours of stressful (trauma) evaluation. I feel like the stressful evaluation is more for the clinician's research. I would love a 10 page report, but maybe they could just tell you that they know you are Autistic (they can tell you that in an hr) and then ask if you would like to go through the traumatic testing. It sounds like they don't want to tell their patients ahead of time what they want to do to you and take advantage of you wanting the diagnosis. Not very straightforward. Each clinician gets to decide what they want to do to you. They know that they are causing you mental pain and trauma but acting like it is harmless diagnostic testing. Mental health 'care' still doesn't seem to be very 'caring'...I feel like we haven't advanced much farther from shock therapy. I feel like an Autism diagnosis should come with a label (caution: side effects of evaluation process can cause mental and or physical trauma, depression, shutdown episodes, increased risk of self harm, fatigue, and as always - migraine). :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ALSO: I watched Sarah Hendrickx's video - I highly recommend. I love that she spotlights Autism in Females - I really think there are many men who have these so-call 'female autism' traits and are being completely ignored. I think they really are just more ways that Autism can present and not only 'female traits'. ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Thank you for making this video. I feel seen.
Thank you to my ladies from Oregon. So many things you said spoke to my heart and my experiences. I’m going to the GP today to get my referral to a Dr that can test me. My GP just thinks I have anxiety. Yeah anxiety from 49 years of masking!! Our health system is a joke. Feel like I am preparing for battle. Every time I leave the GP’s office I’m close to tears. Thanks again to all the participants of this call. It has been really helpful. At least I know that being dismissed by health care providers is super normal.
This is incredible. I’m actually hearing people talk of very similar struggles as I’ve had for my whole life and I had pretty much chalked it all up to the fact that maybe I’m just totally broken or a freak. I just found this channel two days ago and that was the same day I came to the knowledge that I’m almost 90% sure I would receive an official diagnosis for ASD. I have spent my entire adult life, after a childhood full of bullying and loneliness and being misunderstood, “trying to be normal.” I’m now 31 years old and I can’t do it anymore. Ive been fired from every job I’ve ever worked with the exception for a couple where I managed to quit before being fired, and when it happened again this year in January, I have been having a seemingly progressive meltdown since mid-January. Things have been getting harder and harder for me to cope, and I just thought I was maybe going crazy or something for not caring about my responsibilities anymore, and I have an 8 month pregnant wife and a 4 year old boy. Of course I’m not going to give up on them, but this year has been so tempting to just stop trying after a lifetime of masking. This whole thing is jacking up my stress levels even more than it normally is because I’m becoming disturbed by the fact that all the personal work I did since I was 18 years old to “be normal” was completely in vain. Now I wonder what the future looks like as I no longer have any hope that I’ll eventually be neurotypical. I’m all alone in this, and just had my mother gaslight me when telling her I might be on the spectrum, telling me she got me tested when I was a boy and I was diagnosed as OCD and having a personality disorder, so my mother was blaming me for why I am the way I am again. At least my wife is receptive…
I'm usually not one to be part of things like this, even online. If so I'm in the back row to myself. This was very positive and inclusive, I enjoyed it. Now I want to join the FB group. Keep it up!
Secondly, great to see so many women with eye contact and facial and vocal expression diagnosed as I've often wondered as I'm so capable of this that this may go against me? Thanks again................ Go well all. Enjoy Hx
Thank you so much to everyone for being so brave in sharing your stories. I can so relate to what everyone has shared. I am 45 now and learned 2 years ago on Dec. 17, 2018, that I am on the spectrum/Aspie. So grateful to have found Aspergers From The Inside, as well as so many other positive neurodiverse channels and people. Happy Holidays to everyone!
I love how there’s moments between them talking that feel like pauses. If you look at the right time it’s almost like we’re just looking at people through webcams. But then all the sudden someone talks and it’s either a brilliant insight or a supportive sentiment. And somehow they aren’t talking over each other. I’m 31 and diagnosed ADHD as a teen and spent ten years ignoring that thinking it was a “fixable childhood issue”. It took me probably 2 years to go from “I want to be reevaluated” to “I signed up for an assessment”. In that time I started researching ASD almost a year ago (and then ignored my research and self-tests for another 6 months) and all these little pieces from childhood to current are making more sense to me. But just because I understand myself doesn’t mean I can explain myself to others (unless I was given the opportunity to write out a life history and an up to date mood breakdown). Finally started writing emails last week to try to get some steps in the right direction. Unfortunately I’m finding a lot of “please call” type of messages for different offices, and telehealth stuff is making me nervous but we still don’t have offices open I guess. Thanks for sharing your journeys/ discoveries/ struggles. If there’s one thing that’s painfully obvious to me now it’s that our mental health system needs to be redesigned to be accessible to people with mental health needs. Wish everyone the best.
this is THE weirdest feeling.. you guys make me feel normal, and like i do have a tribe.. i HIDE from everyone and / or be anonymous always.... you all just made me feel like i have a family for the first time at 49yrs.. [well, its sort of true as i was a State Ward].. but even just joining the group mentioned i didnt hesitate.. usually i would never ever... with such personal situation because i am never accepted and can nver be myself... i dont usually
I was diagnosed 10 years ago, at age 48. Always knew that I was different, but was at a party and noticed the son of a friend acting very non-social, and it suddenly clicked in my head (he had already been diagnosed with Aspergers). Was formally diagnosed a few months later with PDD-NOS, when my (very understanding) NT Wife and I were going through marriage counseling with a local pastor, who was also a licensed psychologist. This probably saved our marriage!
I'm 40 and recently diagnosed with adhd although I think it may be more on the autism side of things, its awesome to know now that I'm not alone in this as that has been my feeling all my life I now know that my whole life has been scripted and masked and can somewhat stop blaming myself for the train wreck of a life I've had....so if you aren't diagnosed my advise would be to get get it as soon as you can as it could be life changing ,but I'm no expert I do wish it was spotted sooner rather than later though, anyway thanks for the content it's very helpful
The bit about the the thing you were asked to get from the grocery store not being there just caused my chest to go tight and tears to well up. I GET IT.
One of the questions that continues to come up is whether a formal diagnosis is necessary? That seems very personal to me with many factors to take into consideration. Like others here, I self diagnosed. It was just a couple of years ago in my mid 50s. It's been a lifetime of strange and otherworldliness for me, knowing there was something different/wrong/weird about me and trying to understand how normal people interacted. None of it made much sense to me. My relationships have always been off and my communications have often been confused and rife with misunderstandings. I had always hoped one day I'd grow out of it but that day has never come. It was only when my nephew was having problems that I began to look into Asperger's. I live in the United States and I'm sorry to say that in many ways this is a tragically backward country. It might be hard for people in Australia and the UK to understand just how screwed up things are here. Healthcare is an industry, vastly expensive with poor motivation to get things right. What my nephew went through with misdiagnosis, drugs and therapists was traumatic for him and his family. He'd already seen enough trauma and distress. Personally I've gotten more out of Paul's channel than I'd likely ever get from professionals here in the US. Though there is a part of me that would like some validation, the cost is way too high and I'm not sure how many people I'd really want to share a diagnosis with anyway. If there were things I'd like to get further help with, it would be perhaps getting a better understanding how PTSD can get interwoven with Asperger's? A number of people here seemed to agree with the difficulties kids with Asperger's experience in school. I can say much of my experience as a youth was a mixture of confusion, violence and abuse. I had some victories as well. Family life was so full of tragedy and stress that I didn't bother to bring my problems home to share. Adult life has seen some tough times as well but also powerful, life affirming experiences. Asperger's along with ongoing stress and trauma has left me with scars and triggers but also sense of depth and meaningfulness. Sorting these things out is something of a task but I have little confidence in professional assistance.
I'm 52. You could actually be just telling someone else about my life. This channel has so much to offer, including a form of fellowship we don't find in the real world. It's like an interactive book, where the characters are real, but almost like actors in a movie. I bet you know what I mean by that, without me belabouring it.
@@injunsun, Considering our approximate ages, I don't doubt there are a good many of us out there with similar stories. Without any sort of understanding of Asperger's in the 60s, 70s and 80s, those of us with the condition were basically left to struggle and work things out on our own. Some cases probably worked out better than other cases. I'm glad there are more resources available today. Again, Paul's channel has provided some excellent insights.
The 72 year female Pamela ? who shares first in this video is very helpful for me. I am 71 dealing through my entire life, with Sx that are considered "on the spectrum" but never been officially diagnosed because of USA medical system ins and outs and financial costs. Thank you all for your shares in this video.
I'm 44. Recently realized I'm on the spectrum. I don't understand why or how nobody realized before now. I have a brother and a son who are on the spectrum, and my other son probably is too. I've done the tests online and they all come back highly likely. Like some of you, it was the traits my son and brother have that I just thought were normal that tipped me off. Also recently, I've been NEEDING strong taste input, and have been compelled to eat a specific strong tasting food every day for a week or two before it suddenly switches to a different one. Then the process repeats. It's irresistible and I NEED to have the specific foods/flavors/textures. Watching this video made me feel understood for the first time in my life. I also have the fear of getting assessed by someone who very likely knows less than me, and I'm worried about going through the process and getting a negative, when I know. Just went through this with my 7 year old. It's very discouraging and severely limits the help he's able to receive, and is beginning to affect his self esteem pretty severely. Ugh. Wish me luck in finding us both the right place for a diagnosis.
My worst fears came true last week. After self-identifying as having ADHD early this year at 37, being diagnosed but having no (or even less) success with ADHD treatment, I started to investigate autism, and my traits are exactly like so many women diagnosed later in life. I wasn't totally convinced that my ADHD/autism "expert" psychologist was up to date on female presentations, but due to covid closing waitlists with actual experts, I embarked on the diagnostic journey with them. She basically disregarded my thesis worth of input (I am a psych professional myself, working in research and studying further), saying that the report cards from my dirt poor public school didn't give enough info on my behavioural issues past grade 2, and my mum didn't say enough to confirm autism. I was gifted and hyperlexic so didn't require my teacher's effort, and learnt to mask the way that so many of us do. I love my mum but she didn't do a lot of parenting outside of teaching me to make her coffee and buy her cigarettes before the age of ten - she conflates everything with me having meningitis when I was 3, and just being a shithead at home thereafter. So I apparently have ADHD and autism traits, but am not autistic. It is possible as you said Paul, to know more than they do, and it can be devastating. I wish self-identification was enough for me, but the validation is necessary for me to feel authentic. I desperately want to use my education to advocate for others, but would feel like a fraud without diagnosis. I'll guess I will just try to avoid stimming myself into a stupor and letting anxiety destroy my study, career and relationships, until someone who cares enough to do professional development is available, sometime in the next millennium.
Feel for you. I actually could not read all of this but got the gist........... I'm in the middle of being assessed and fearing the same and I also have a people/sociol work background. I suggest you watch Prof Tony Attwood's amazing lecture 'Girls and Aspergers' which I find so supportive and Yo Samdy Sam's vid on DSM 5 criteria?.............. Also if I don't get my dianosis in the UK given that everyone is using Zoom type equipment for assesment I might ask him to assess me!!! Just a thought? Problem solving tends to be one of our strengths! Go well
@@velvetindigonight thanks, I love the resources you referenced! I am a fiend for this stuff. Fortunately, I heard back from an actual expert in women and girls, and have gone through a more age/gender appropriate assessment, and was diagnosed last week (firmly on the spectrum!). Now I feel better about writing my own research papers and contributing to advocacy, reassured I'm not misappropriating someone else's identity or speaking on behalf of others.
I've done the on-line tests, and am about 2 points into the normal spectrum. I finally decided I don't need a professional test, because I've watched enough videos to know where I actually am autistic, and where I'm not. On a social level, I can appear pretty normal, and I also enjoy socializing, but have always had a lot of sensory overload issues, major sleep and digestion problems, obsessive interests, a lot of fidgeting and leg-shaking. I don' t exactly feel that I mask, since I adopted a "weirdo" persona when I was very young, and it has allowed me to wing it socially even when I didn't understand the rules. This has led to a lot of rejection, but I have also always had friends, so it seems to be working more or less okay. I accepted that I was different even as a kid, and made adjustments. However, trying to conform was never something I spent much time on. It seemed like a losing battle. I studied people like an anthropologist and analyzed their behavior, but this didn't really help me to act any more normal anyway. I understand conversational rules better now, and am trying to discipline my conversational patterns by being more mindful.
💜 Thank you 🙏 to all here in this video💜 am very new to this channel & to the idea that I’m 69 & possibly on the spectrum. It does not bother me whether am professionally diagnosed as was diagnosed at age 19 with schizoaffective after a major breakdown. Appreciate all of you!🙏
Who ever you are just know that you are valued! The only people that wouldn’t sympathise are the ones who simply do not either have the education or maturity to understand 😃
It's not all education or maturity. Half of all humans have intelligence below average, meaning they simply can't understand us. Those around average and just above, they, too, simply can't grasp some things we do. It isn't that they lack maturity, or access to education. They simply can't see we do. Talking to them is like them talking to Koko, the signing gorilla.
I'm 18 but I was diagnosed by a Child Psychologist at 17 after I left school for college. It definitely opened my horizons and people were very accepting unlike others. I guess to them it was an excuse to not offend me. But this definitely opened my eyes on life. I lost my mum just a week ago and I do enjoy speaking to others on the Spectrum. If it wasn't for people similar to me, I don't even know if I'd be here especially after the hectic year I've had being anorexic as well a few years back
I have ASD too. Now we'll see if I can find someone to diagnose it. At least now I know what to call it. "Suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment If finds a meaning." Victor Frankl...
Please make more of these videos. They are very helpful. You say that your number one suggestion is to interact with other Autistic people but sometimes thats not easy. Watching your videos is easy. Please make more videos like this.
That was a fantastic conversation. I had 2 online interview assesments and yesterday I went in to a centre for another assesment (The test/interview was really streesful). I've been told that because of the Easter Holidays I have to wait 3 weeks for my results to come back. My anxiety has gone up x10 fold worrying about what the result may be. I didn't expect it to affect me this much. If they come back to me and say that they don't think I have ASD, I'm not sure where I would go from there to be honest.
Oh My Goodness!! I am a 32yr old mother of four beautiful children. My oldest three are diagnosed somewhere on the spectrum, 8yr, 5yr and 9month old boys and a 3yr old girl. I am in the process of my Diagnosis right now!! Thank you for doing this video!! I am so excited!! This is perfect timing!! I’m so grateful for everyone’s time that is going into this!! Thank you so much!! You ALL are adding so much value to the world!!
I was Diagnosed last year and given letter the who to this my concern. It took me years to get diagnosed with it. Before was just getting doctors wanting to give me antidepressants. I was given a booklet and website addresses that is all. I been now trying to diagnosed with ADHD. On the way to get diagnosed with Autism I did get diagnosed with PTSD.
I'm scared of being labeled. I do struggle with ADHD and after taking some online tests it seems very probable that I'm on the Autism spectrum. I don't want people to think I'm using these as excuses to stay where I am. I worry if I tell people they will think I'm just finding excuses for myself rather than growing up. I'm 41 now, I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I have never felt like I fit in as most of my interest have often been uncommon. I still struggle to read an analog clock. I haven't found a way to consistently remember how to spell words. I often don't remember I've told somebody something in the past until I'm halfway through telling them again. I usually don't remember the important parts of conversations. This leads to a lot of frustration in my marriage as my wife has t repeat things often. I find myself frequently driving conversations back to a few of my main interests and/or curiosities (health and nutrition, US national debt problems, conspiracy theories(9-11 is like a brain magnet), new invention ideas, questioning the consensus of just about anything (I often feel people believe something because it's "accepted" not because it's true). Thanks for reading. I don't know how or where I fit in, or if I want to fit in ("fit in" sounds boring), But I firmly believe God doesn't make mistakes. I am His and I am not a mistake. I am loved and accepted by Him regardless if I feel this, that or the other. I don't need to know the whys', I need to choose to have faith and believe. Much love to you all, looks like you have a new family member.
I’m in the same area as Crystal and would love to know where she was assessed and which vocational rehab place she went to! Her story resonated with me a lot.
Thank you so much for your video's, I recently self diagnosed and after watching your video's I'm identifying so much with experiences, Finding it hard to deal with it feeling like 48 years of my life have been wasted, especially as I tried to get help when I was 15 and nobody would listen, it's very overwhelming
Hi - thank you so much for this video. Is there any chance that we could get the link to the assessors in Guelph Ontario mentioned by one of the people in the discussion saying they do international online assessments? I am waiting for an appointment in Ireland but worried about the cost and experience and hers sounded kinder and cheaper than others. Thank you
I’m not sure I liked getting a diagnoses - I was 52 and had struggled all my life but had developed a strategy to cope. Most people, here in Denmark, think Asperger’s is a just a combination of being socially handicapped and lacking in empathy - before I felt I was a freak by choice, now I’m a freak with a label - great 😖 no one listened to me before and now they actually have an excuse to question everything I say - I still haven’t found a new stratagy to cope with that.... btw I was diagnosed by a psyciatrist treating me for anxiety and depression - I didn’t choose it
We don't lack Empathy. We have Super Empathy, which is overwhelming, so we try to shut it down. We try to avoid eye contact, but because we can't figure out emotions, but because we see too much, it feels like we're probing, and we fear someone else will probe us right back. We are the closest to telepaths our world has produced to date. We don't want to intrude, and don't want to be intruded upon. Meanwhile, most people can't really read us, as we could them, so they distrust us as "shifty-eyed." We need to own our abilities, as they make up for our disabilities. We aren't "disabled," we're literally differently able. If society was all our kind, our world wouldn't be dominated by violence and chaos.
Hello. I just discovered your videos by chance less than a week ago. I have been in ongoing shock for days as things I heard you say resonated with me so deeply, as I have thought over individual parts of what you'd said all the things in myself those words made me reflect on left me in a kind of shock from knowing those things in myself so well but never knowing there was a name to link it to and others like me. I never felt I belonged on this earth because of my differences that i feel make me special but don't feel so special because of others reactions or lack of reactions, Cutting off my sentences and many other things. Without going into details, I just needed to say 1 I am so appreciative of what you have done for me by helping me to discover this. I doubt I ever would have if it weren't for your videos. Secondly I have a complex situation and this, which I can't explain simply in writing but I could really benefit from some advice from you I believe. I hope it's not wrong for me to ask, but I really would like to have just one conversation with you to explain, it could really help. I have already got a referral just yesterday to get assessed for Autism Spectrum Disorder, G.P. estimated would be approx. $800. My issue is that while I can see it I'm 100% sure I am Autistic, I can see where a Dr. could use things to excuse and pass it off as other reasons especially situational and past trauma and so forth. My 4 children have signs of something I thought ADHD more likely. I'm a single mum in an Australian rural area and I Do Believe these disorders have contributed to our lifestyle challenges. I won't put more details on here. Please let me know of I may be able to privately discuss this with you a little bit. I'm a little worried for good reasons. Thank u for reading if you have, even if you aren't up for the chat. How you've helped me to find out has done so much for me already. Thank you.
+ I had only ever heard the word Autism before but I Never had any single idea what it was until seeing your video less than a week ago. I have a Facebook account, but I stopped using it and removed the app from my phone recently. I even posted a pair of scissors to show I cut it off. But if you even just see the public things I've posted on there, being that I am gifted at writing and other things, you'll probably realise that I'm Autistic straight away even just from that alone, because you know what Autism is and looks like. I could almost guarantee you'd spot it instantly if you saw my FB profile.
The "dot in the box" test is to check for attention problems. You should see what happens when you give a kid with ADHD that test. Most of the time they won't just give you the tests for Autism. They have to rule out other possible disorders/check for comorbidities, so there is a lot that goes into a comprehensive evaluation to make sure you are getting as accurate a diagnosis as possible.
Big Thank you Paul and All....... I found this hugely helpfull and informative. The comment 'Getting a professional who does not know as much as I do' hit home......... I think I'm going through this at the moment with my assessment but you guys have given me my 'Plan B' which will be the clinic in Ontario! Hopefully they do Zoom? The NHS here in the UK are using it at present......
I've just been diagnosed at the age of 35. I originally tried to get diagnosed a while back and the psychiatrist spent half an hour with me and then told me I didn't have it. Turns out I'm just high masking and that psychiatrist is crap at their job. I originally began to suspect I had autism when I spent some time googling on the internet to try and find answers about why and how I was different because I'd been struggling with my mental health, partly as a result of being aware of that difference. I'm pretty sure my Dad has classical autism but he's from the generation before autism diagnoses unless you were also intellectually disabled. My nephew was diagnosed with autism at the age of 3 and my brother is definitely on the spectrum to some extent.
I’ve declined to look for a diagnosis. I already have 100% confidence in me being autistic. I have struggled a lot, partially because of the people I’d been surrounded by at school. I tended to attract other people with neurological differences. The issue there was they were generally the type that were diagnosed early, then went undisciplined as a child because of it, and by little fault of their one became... for lack of a better term, fairly vial. Crude humor and the like. With mostly that sort of contact I never really learned to mask in a... confident way I guess? So my anxiety in any social situation is through the roof. Now that I’ve got a job (happily working in construction) I’m doing better, but it’s still very difficult. Anyway, due to my hobbies, a big one being marksmanship and learning the engineering and mechanical aspect of firearms, I feel a diagnosis of anything neurological could actually be very damaging for me. Many times there have been bills in the states that have been attempted in passing as law to make it illegal for someone with autism to even own a firearm. Just an interesting take on diagnosis and the potential for the legal system to actually kill an outlet for someone like us. It’s not a point of consideration for everyone, but if you already know, and a diagnosis doesn’t seem to have logical benefit, find out what it could do against or even for you legally based on your interests.
Yo Luke how you manage working in what seems to me like a socially hostile environment (construction)? I mean like dealing with the constant ball busting and not being so social due to autism. Thanks
Hello Luke. I did not know about states attempting to restrict firearms for those with autism - I own guns myself in NJ. Probably has to do with the Sandy Hook shooting and people making wild assumptions about autism. Adam Lanza had WAY MORE issues than an Aspergers diagnosis, and it made me cringe when it was brought out after the shooting!
I understand where you are coming from with regards to fire arms. I have noticed a lot of talk from folks in the US about how people who have a mental health diagnosis shouldn't be allowed to own them in the interest of public safety. This usually comes up every time there is some public shooting covered in the news. "Oh the shooter was depressed or had anxiety, lets ban all of those folks from having firearms." People say that kind of thing. Its a really bad idea which I hope never comes to pass. It will make a lot of folks avoid mental health services and disarm a broad category of people when only a very small fraction will ever be violent.
@@goliathgiant3372 the key is that I got into a small business. There’s not a long chain of command. The boss is the owner of the business, and there’s just me and two other guys that are under him. I’ve gained his respect because of my reliability, which inherently comes from my nature of sticking to a routine. Just yesterday (Friday) we had a late start day, started a half hour late, totally threw me off. I’m actually generally favored because the other two guys aren’t very responsible. One is a hothead, and the other, a good friend of mine, unfortunately has trouble making it to work on time because he actually has OCD. But being favored by the boss gives me a little extra confidence, which really helps me. Also, being that we do remodels, we do everything. That gives me the chance to find and enjoy my strengths, do the parts of the process that energize me, and that keeps me going. I will say, I work Monday through Friday. I do not function on the weekends. Mentally and physically, I’m completely exhausted. Sorry, I’m writing a bit of a book here haha. To kinda sum it up, it’s a 7:30-4 work day nearly every day, none of the people I work with seem to be neurotypical, I do the things I like to do, sometimes take charge when it’s one of my subjects that I’ve gathered a wealth of knowledge on, and in general it’s a fairly chill, self guided environment. Rest on the weekends is paramount. All that said, just this past Wednesday I found myself alone on the job site and I got more done than I ever do with the realization that I wasn’t worried about what anyone else thought about how I did my work or in what order, because they weren’t there. I just focused on one task till it was complete, took a minute to think, and moved on to the next one.
@@danielabbey7726 I’ve found that usually when something like that shooting happens, the shooter was on mind altering medication due to likely misdiagnosis. I haven’t studied that one in particular, and honestly I haven’t studied the stats on this stuff in a while because I’m so busy, but there’s usually several factors, and often times there are more than enough signs to stop it before it happens. It’s a failure of several systems that causes those things. Creating another system when even others aren’t being maintained doesn’t work. We see that over and over again.
i love how you aLL talk like me.. and have that same nervousness because you too are use to having too squash or feel like youre not doing good enough .. because youre so use to knowing people think youre weird 😢
"What to do when you go to the supermarket and the thing your asked to buy isn't there"... WELL? Give me the answer! This is important stuff! I get anxious when someone is taking orders for a lunch run. I don't want to give them my order. I fear that what I ordered won't come back right. Then I don't know what to do or say. So I don't bother putting in an order. I also get anxious when people ask me to pick something up for them when I'm going somewhere. When I take a trip to 7-11 on lunch break I don't tell anyone, except for my boss. I do ask my boss if he wants anything but only because I know he will always say no.
Just ask before going to the supermarket "what if they don't have the item you want , will I get something else or nothing at all?" or get them to write the item down "incase I forget" and ask for help at the Customer Services counter (usually at the store entrance) if you need to. Say "I'm not sure where to find this, can someone help me?" Just write down what you want for iunch or say "I like things a certain way so I just bring in my own lunch"
Sorry to hear about your siblings. This is so hard. I got brushed off when I shared things about my son. "All kids are self focused". It's not right what we suffer through because people think they are "sparing us"... Those who don't understand or have the capacity to say it's an excuse. So appalling. Bless you.
1:09 My 38 year old son just received a formal diagnosis… My dad called him “The Professor” 🤓from when he was 18 months old. My son and I were always a lot alike and I understood him very well…. Realizing now, in my mid 60s that I’m no doubt on the spectrum as well! Coping by heavily masking through life, and as a female has been very exhausting and stressful. Diagnosed in my 30s with ADD-pi shed some light but this is definitely the missing piece!
Hi, I enjoyed the discussion and I relate to your experiences a lot. Could you share the book references you mentioned in the conversation? "Look me in the Eye" (what is the author?) and the psychology clinic in Guelph, Canada, that will be helpful. Cheers!
The author of Look me in the Eye is American John Elder Robison and he has some videos on you tube. Another good book is Pretending to be Normal by Liane Holliday Willey from a female perspective.
Saying "I have autism" is referred to as "person first" language which was the focus for a couple of decades. As someone said, the idea is that ASD is just one part of who you are. Currently the trend or at least the push in the academic community is to say I am autistic and also I am disabled versus I have a disability. It was difficult to wrap my head around it all in completing my Masters in Diverse Learners. Easiest way i can explain is to add "by society" (obviously oversimplified for brevity) to "I am disabled". It embraces the idea that we don't inherently have something broken or wrong with us. If the majority of people had autism then we would set up everything in society to suit the way we are, making them disabled. The second thing is that it helps neurotypical people get the understanding that it is neither inconsequential nor trivial - as in, oh, it's just a little thing we "have" which almost implies that it can just be picked up or put down at will. But it is not just a thing we have, it is integrated into every part of who we are. I am not like the rest of my neurotypical family and despite my excellent masking and strategies to "pass" I still never fit in. It also makes it a little harder for neurotypical people to dismiss the legitimacy of our need to do things differently than they expect because of their neurotypical bias. When we all stand up and say I am autistic or I am disabled, we become a community and there is strength in numbers. I am a teacher. That is also part of who I am at my core. Even when I don't have a teaching job, I am still a teacher. I don't say I teach for a living and I don't say I have a background in education. Some teachers do though because teaching is not part of the fiber of their being. So in the end it is personal choice. Neither is right or wrong; they both just reflect how language is influenced by changes in society. I teach in a learning centre and I think I was only really able to understand this by thinking about my students. I have many students on the spectrum who are all very different, I have students with Downs Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, and all different types and degrees of intellectual disabilities. Each time we add an individual student to the learning centre it's just one more person who has something else that's different, and needs an individualized plan. No matter how empathetic one is, nobody is going to completely overhaul how things are done for one student. It's just not reasonable. On the other hand I have a lot more power to affect change when I can say "I have 45 disabled students who require x" or "I have 6 autistic students who require a sensory space" instead of please install an elevatory for Tommy because he has... or Sara needs a water table and Susie needs magic sand or tommy needs a place where he can scream and Sally needs a space where there is no screaming. It is much easier to dismiss the perceived needs of one individual
I didn’t get an official diagnosis, I couldn’t afford it. I did see a specialist to validate my experience. Sometimes I want one but at other times I’m okay with where I am.
Thank you, you are supportive people, I am late diagnosis, age 44, it's been difficult, I think I might be dealing with related ptsd. Due to it not being recognised. New Zealand, I guess like a lot of places is difficult, and not supported by government or most Insurance companies sadly. Kind Regards, Heath
Hi Paul (and anyone reading this), I’m curious if you have heard of people who got / get lower marks in school on purpose to try to “fit in”? If yes, could you please do a video about it? Also thanks for your videos. They are so insightful.🎉
I love this video! It makes me feel so much happier seeing that there are people who act like me and speak like me and move like me :-] Normally, autism video are very scripted (lol!) and rehearsed and stuff. I don't normally get to see this side of people :-]
I've just been through the full formal process (in Australia). But I was disappointed there wasn't really any stuff to examine/measure information processing, which is one of the main issues causing me the most problems at work (and as a student). As in, focussing in on the details but having a challenge with making sense of the whole. I think this comes under the heading of "executive functioning"? Well there was _nothing_ about EF, even though it seems to be a key thing for many people. My diagnosing psych said that's covered in the ADHD test, so I may end up doing that as well. (It's possible I also have ADHD, so might be worthwhile anyway. But it's all so expensive, and Medicare doesn't cover any of it.) As it is, I had to push to get anything about it recorded on my report, even though it was one of the issues listed in my original referral from my doctor.
U know, once i failed my job probation period because i focused too much on details. The boss said i was too slow at work so i was terminated. I also have processing issues. How much did it cost to get a diagnosis in Australia?
One thing that was difficult was going to crowded areas or heavily populated places. They have medicine for ADHD that affects how u focus. It's about how the Brain develops
The lady in the states made me start crying. I hate living in America man I can’t even say what I really want to say I just feel so frustrated with our mental health care system. I feel so alone and hopeless
I'm in the "I need the diagnosis" phase. Years ago when I first suspected it, after a lifetime of having an autistic dad (who didn't have any idea during my childhood) but he did say "I think Naja (my son) might be autistic" . My second born son Naja is now diagnosed, as an adult, with autism2, but when my dad said it, when he was a small child, I was living in a incredibly disdvantaged situation and I could hardly compute what my dad had suggested. When my dad became self aware of his own autism and my half sister had her children diagnosed and I had other diagnoses of bpd and cptsd and I had done A LOT of trauma recovery therapy and I thought "no there is more than just trauma", I remembered how my mum had always said "You are so like your father". I went to my gp and told him my suspicions and he said "Why do you want to spend all that money to find out something you already know?" and in a typically autistic response I didn't have an answer straight up. I needed a long time to process and think about why I wanted to spend a lot to be told something I already know. Because I wasn't just suspecting my autism I had done ALOT of online research and read some books as well and did the online tests and had high scores, so, to be accurate I wasn't just suspicious of having ASD or being on the spectrum, I did already know....and now I'm ready to gift myself, at 50 with a formal diagnosis. It just feels right and important to pursue it as I'm not able to work, barely able to leave the house, minimally functional much of the time, other than pursuing special interests. Luckily (for them, I guess) one of my special interests is my children's welfare, now all adults, all 7 of them, other than the youngest turns 18 in a bit over a week. He has submitted some paperwork and done some testing for getting an Aspergers/ Autism1 diagnosis (he is living in a youth flat now and being independant, although we spend quite a bit of time together. Phew ...what a written rant! (awkward, embarrassed face). I have contacted Tony Attwoods clinic in Brisbane, for myself I live about 3 hrs south of Brisbane, so I am awaiting a response. I have told my new trauma psychologist that I'm autistic already, it was one of her areas of specialty already. I recently started an NDIS process (other Aussies will probably know what that is) and applied for a support program as leaving the house has become so incredibly difficult and I now need help to do that. Cptsd and ASD, with the ADHD traits on top of it, is a double wammy of social avoidance and more and more debilitating burn outs as I am in perimenopause and the dropping estrogen affects our dopaminergic system adversely and thus executive function is affected. I found a clinic that diagnoses and treats the concurrent dual diagnosis of ADHD and "high functioning" ( thats a laugh, I'm not "high functioning these days) ASD but they have a 6-12 month waiting list and they don't tell you their fees until they've locked you in and I don't like that so hopefully, Tony Attwoods clinic on Brissy will take me on but it could still a long wait I guess. Also have contacted a psychiatrist that diagnoses ADHD in my local area but she has a 7 month waiting list too. Sigh. Nice to be exposed to other self disgnosed as well as diagnosed peeps, its all normalising for me and I really appreciate it. Thanks Paul and crew!
Is there a way to connect with any of the panelists? Shauna said some things that put a huge "oh my too!" smile on my face and I'd love to connect with her (if she'e be ok with that, of course). Thank you!
If you go to the store and they don't have the thing you were supposed to get do you just wander the store for 2 hours trying to will it into existence and then spend the entire trip home coming up with a reason why it took you so long to not get anything just to have thought about it so much you forget how to talk.
I live in the U.S. Nearly 54. About as classic a case of " high functioning ' (barely I would call it). I have other issue's from physical trauma like 30% of my body 3rd degree burned at 14 months old (brain remodeling /hippocampus dysfunction/) .Physical Brain injuries from accidents as an adult . My brain scan shows a void in frontal lobe. I could type for a month telling stories that to me seem impossible even though they happened to me. In first grade I was given an 'entrance test" for a public school (in U.S. that means govt funded ) . The school was rated as the #3 highest rated public school in the U.S. which was why my parents moved to the town. In certain aspects of the test I had scored higher the any other child in the history of the school. I had the reading level as well as comprehension level of an 11th grader. After the test my parents were called in and they were told about this . Somewhat of a fuss was made and teachers and administrators came in to 'look " (it was kind of weird) at the child who broke the test and what seemed like an impossibility. My mom an avid reader had taught me to read for a couple months before school to give me a leg up but it didn't really explain what was in play as its not that uncommon for a parents to read to a kid. There are a 1000 stories of mental , physical and emotional abuse including actual torture. Then there is from after the first day of school , which i was EXCITED for and after an hour having that feeling of literally thinking I was put on the wrong planet. Abject horror and fear and then tremendous struggles from that point on and masking the whole way. Did terribly academically despite supposedly being "gifted" and very special, blah , blah . I want to try to be short which is IMPOSSIBLE as anybody reading this might understand. The stories are abundant , some pretty wild, heart breaking , scary and although I DONT WANT TO BE PITTIED , sad. I have ASKED for help my ENTIRE LIFE either DIRECTLLY or In indirect ways and have been told 100s if not 1000s of times that I AM VERY SMART and will figure it out. just some small examples of my issues. I am figuring others will fill in much of the social problems and horrifying situation that can be being autistic and under the radar. I can drive the same route for 20+ years , a simple route and get lost 50% of the time. Basically every time I drive anywhere it seems "new" or "new in someway". Despite high intellect at 16 I did not know left from right. Was sent to a military / reform school (boarding school where I mostly was denied trips home when others went because of disobedience) of which I could write an entire book on how horrifying that is for a high functioning autist . One of the things I did there was attend a class of one (first ever I believe) of remedial marching where I did 100s of hours of military marching and punishment when I failed at it. I was sent there because AGAIN nobody could believe that I had issues because of my verbal and masking skills . I was thought to be a liar, lazy , dis obedient and a "BAD KID" of some sort. P.S. decades of Nightmare's and Night terrors after the experience that I still have from time to time based on the experience. I have been going to professionals for a decade now and still have not received help. I WAS diagnosed with Adult ADD , Anxiety , Sleep Disorders and PTSD. Given stimulants , Benzo's and Sleeping pills that I cant think of right now but very common and make people sleep walk and do weird shit Zolipidem is the molecule . I was in a car wreck 7 years ago and have a bunch of ruptured disc's in back in neck and a TBI from a rear end accident where i was sitting still and not my fault. All kinds of mental tests and brain imaging. I have in the last few weeks completely hit a wall. psychiatrist I have lost what little ability I had previously had to ask for help or advocate for myself. I feel like it is a "Set up" . Like I have heard my whole life to ask for help . To not be ashamed (especially as a man) . That help is ALWAYS available. As has been my experience my entire life , seemingly my ability to articulate things makes people believe I AM NOT STRUGGLING or HANGING ON BY MY FINGER NAILS. It is like Charlie brown with the football and Lucy. I get coaxed to asking for help. Spend sometimes 100s of hours talking to people and in the end they haven't listened to a word I have said. I have spent an ENTIRE SESSION on JUST THE IDEA of my 100s of experiences being told "your smart , you will figure it out" and had the therapist say at the end " Your smart you will figure it out". I sat there with my jaw dropped. he was filling in some notes or whatever and then looked up at me . It took him 15 more seconds to realize what he said. It comes out of peoples mouths so easily. That was a major point where I realized no help was forth coming. I am dead broke . Essentially alone . one family member , my dad who has been supporting me financially for a couple years now. I receive food stamps and Medicaid , live in a 200 square foot apt. Dont go anywhere or do anything. Get clothes' and food from charities . Have been turned down for disability which none of my doctors for my physical or cognitive issues can understand . But yeah. I have lost my ability to speak and think essentially. Lost my ability to hyper focus (which was lessened from the TBI as well). I also had 2 cases of Lyme disease which the 1 st one was not picked up right away so it was 3 months of anti biotics and symptoms never completely went away. This is a small amount of info really but my question is IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE that helps people like me? I do not have the mental energy to try and explain myself to anybody again? I have no family and no actual friends , and friends Ive had did not understand either. It truly seems like only another autistic person can grasp what this life is like. I feel like my life force is fading away and my ability to think or try and plan for anything just doesn't work anymore. What am I supposed to do now? Any suggestions of how to deal with this impossible riddle where by asking for help I seem to impress on people I don't need or deserve it. I am not suicidal although I kind of wish I was as it would be easier then this , but I just cant fathom that either. Half a century of being tortured in a sense, seems more then enough for whatever the world seems to think people like me deserve. Maybe not hell , certainly purgatory. Last bit, I have always been GREAT at helping other's and being an advocate for them due to my strong logic and being a bit of a pitbull with ideas when I know they are correct , but IT DOES NOT TRANSLATE to helping myself. Thanks, this was difficult to write and I STILL always think about other people who may be worse off and living in North Korea or whatever and feel like I am whining even when I know that isn't logical. Its been beaten in to my head for so long from society it IS hard to shake regardless of how logical one is or thinks they are. Beyond stuck.
@@vanessapassmore3295 Thanks Vanessa, currently I dont see a way. This mega meltdown has left me seemingly unable to do anything. Every time I try it makes me feel worse. Its like a pavlovian thing to where my brain shuts down when I try now, like my brain just stop's me with overwhelm for fear of another negative experience that will cause complete meltdown that will leave me worse off. Im not sure I could take one more round of explaining my life with poor results. I dont think it is HEALTHY to constantly re-hash negative experiences and express them with no upside. It just further cements the negative stuff. I have tried my entire life to be positive and find work arounds. I HATE !! essentially having a negative ' Mantra . Thanks though.
I can empathize with your story. Can you get an attorney to help you with your disability case? They can usually point you in the right direction to get the documentation needed to make your case clear. You have a right to benefits if you have a challenge. Disability attorneys usually will work on a contingency basis and only collect if your case is won. It takes a while to get your case to a hearing, but from the date of application they will count back and give you retroactive benefits. I would attempt to file tomorrow morning, the cases are probably overloaded but they count from date of application minus a few months, in the interim while you are waiting you can call around to try to find an attorney. Do your best to research attorneys, check out reviews and try to find one that understands the spectrum. I will hold you up in prayer. Don't give up but try to go forward with a claim. You need money to survive and having that safetynet will reduce stress which will help you manage the condition better. No shame.
@@Mina-vi5le Thanks for replying . I have "lawyers " for 6 years now and I could write a book on the actual nightmare that has been in regard to disability . Besides my atypical spectrum stuff I have multiple other cognitive issues that were made much worse by a bad car accident that ruined my physicality as well as a TBI . 6 months after that I contracted Lyme Disease , I had never had the flu and thought I knew now why people said the flu could feel like one was dying , fealt like i was dying (not exaggerating) eventually with a 105 fever , in terrible pain in my joints and all the other stuff. About 10 days thinking I would get over it and being in bed the whole time , i caught a glimpse of my back in a mirror and saw the bulls eye and rushed to the doctor who said " OH NO! you definitely have Lyme Disease and a profound case but we will take your blood to confirm while we start the treatment. By 10 days the pathogen is entrenched and its not a couple antibiotic pills and done and I was on a VERY HIGH DOSE OF VERY STRONG meds for months and my health continuously got worse until I was asleep 23 hours a day every day and in pain and messed up the 1 hour a day I was ambulatory . After Languishing and every doctor pushing me off to another doctor I found out that between my TBI and late treated Lyme I had all kinds of problems , including endocrine issues to where my testosterone wasnt " low" it was lunch lady level low . I had to wait for more tests before they gave me hormones and then waited more months for insurance to agree to pay so I was bed bound. Got on hormones and that very slowly helped a bit but I have never returned to even 10-20% of my physical or mental vigor and on top of that have chronic pain from insult to my spine to where I am missing my L5 disc, L6 is fully ruptured , 6 bulging discs in back and a full ruptured one in my neck and stenosis . So I have terrible chronic pain from that plus pain in every joint since getting lyme and a host of symptoms, became diabetic ( i am not "fat" and have been into exercise my ENTIRE LIFE and still very muscular in my upper body, my lower half has atrophied quite a bit because I spinal stuff and not being able to exercise my legs and butt as well as neuropathy and of course the constant low energy. I should be eligible for disability based on some of the singular issues I have and 7 different doctors in different fields can not understand why I keep getting rejected for 7 years now. extremely
Working in a factory since I sincerely tried to make a career path for myself and failed to such an extent that I believe this factory job overnights on the weekend is the best job I could get.
Getting my doctor to refer me to a neuropsychologist has been exhausting. Not much help where I’m located. At my age it’s hard to be taken seriously (44).
You know, I’m 51 - being a teen 13 yrs old, I refused to go to school. Cutting it short I was diagnosed with depression and put on strong antidepressants, because the psychiatrist diagnosed me with depression and I was put on strong medication. A tricyclic antidepressant. But I used to invent illness in the junior school. ( evident at about 9 yrs old ) Masking though. My lord I’ve learnt to do it, at this age. 😢
A question for the men in the group... Do you notice when women flirt with you? Friends are always telling me, "she likes you," and I say, "How can you tell." They always say something like, "isn't it obvious? "
Yeah thats always been the case, completely oblivious to the point where some women in the past that were interested in me asked me if I was gay because I missed their signals and were confused. I liked them too just didnt know they were flirting
@@goliathgiant3372 I ve had the same comments. Apart from not being sure about the signs I was also cripplingly shy and awkward until adulthood, and unable to talk to women. I've never been diagnosed Now .61
You know, it's interesting because both men and women on the spectrum have said this. It makes me wonder whether it's really a "guy thing". Maybe boys are just improperly introduced to social activities and expected to be less sensitive of cues, so there's no growth in that area.
This is cool, but I was diagnosed in middle school & not as an adult. Regarding my autism diagnosis I went through 3 phases. 1st I didn’t want to believe it. Then I told people that I have ADD because I was afraid that people would judge me for being on the autistic spectrum. Now I wear my mid functioning Asperger’s syndrome with pride! The autistic spectrum isn’t a sickness, it’s a super-power!!!
I love this channel so much. I’ve joined the facebook group and it’s been life changing for me. Can I add one constructive criticism pls? It would be nice to see some people of color (if available) on such a large panel. 😢 :)
I know this is old.. but is there anyway to find out from the Guelph Ontario woman where she went for her assessment? I live in the area and would like to look into this.
24:06 I just had this EXACT EXPERIENCE. I was told by a tele-health therapist I'm just getting to know, that I couldn't be Autistic because I make eye contact [WITH THE SCREEN]. In actually, I'm watching my own video closely to make sure I don't do anything [too] weird. I'm so frustrated. I'm afraid I won't be able to trust him with anything now. 😢
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Do you get tired of people asking, "You're so smart, why aren't you successful?" I never had an answer to that question until I found out I was autistic. Now I know. I'm all IQ and not much EQ.
yeahh my husband used to tell me that. i was diagnosed last week. I have. a masters degree, and 2 graduation courses, but i live with minimun wage and my husband was Always "how come you are so smart but u cant keep a good job". now i know. and it's ok
@@VivekaAlaya your anecdote brought tear to my eye.
@@goliathgiant3372 thank you Jose
Oh man. People have been saying that almost verbatim to me my whole life. I'm 29 now and just starting to suspect I might be on the spectrum.
I think the false assumption is that you must be lazy. How is it possible for someone to put in so much effort yet not be successful?
i was literally just diagnosed an hour ago. looking forward to this!!
Welcome to the community
@april I hope your diagnosis went well.
How are you finding things now you've been diagnosed?
We're all friendly here in the community (and funny especially myself)
@Jason Calcanis You definitely would cause Self diagnosing is bad. And why is it a joke?
@Jason Calcanis Well actually you do - a diagnosis needs to be set by a person with the right training and education to set that diagnosis. If not, it's not a diagnosis, it's speculation based on your own personal experience.
I'm 57 and have never been formally diagnosed because I've just come to terms with the fact that I am autistic. I've taken every self-test online and all of them came up stating I should be tested for autism. At first, I went into a sort of denial thinking "You can't always believe what's on the internet". Then I was high and listened to some of Samdee Sams videos. Being stoned slows my thinking down enough that I can hear things instead of my internal chatter talking over what is being imparted to me. Absolutely everything I heard on those videos fit me to a T. I can't deny I'm autistic. There's no test that can convince me I'm not. I would like to eventually speak with a professional about it (if I need a formal diagnosis for something having to do with my job or something like that). But other than that, I finally feel like a door was opened that shows me why I've reacted to the world around me. That I'm not weird or eccentric. There are actual reasons why I've been this way my entire life. That part is liberating. . The part I have problems with is mourning the fact that my life may have been much more positive had I known about this decades before this. I probably would have made many different choices.
I got my diagnosis, because I wanted the work place accommodations. So many times I've done my job well. The other people at the jobs were really why it didn't go well. Small talk after a while day in and day out starts to grate my nerves.
I'm a 52 yr old high functioning Autistic/Aspergers, diagnosed professionally when I was 50, but every thing was a mess already, but to finally know why I never did fit in, the weight lifted of my shoulders & to begin to understand to heal, amazing, finding you, amazing, so very grateful for this fantastic content, I've found my tribe, my r load to recovery, thank you all here today...
I'm 46 and was weeks away from having a formal diagnoses only for my local(ish) mental health department to semi-closedown in April due to lockdown. It hasn't reopened since which is upsetting as I want to get it and get on with my life. What made it even more upsetting was that at my initial assessment was that the psychologist (?) who spoke to me, my father and "little" sister told us he was sure I was autistic spectrum (it seems to run in my family)
@@desperatemohammedantheworl5833 I feel you, I am 53 and was just diagnosed. It took half a year for me to finally get my assessment due to the appt wait and the interruption of COVID-19. It was hella nail-bitting time but I finally ended up with an evaluation that gave me Persistent Depression, Major Depression-recurrent, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Executive Function and Frontal Lobe Deficits and Social Communication Disorder. But they did not place me on the spectrum, which
I thought was weird.
@@Eristhenes great to have that awareness now & anytime you want to talk, about anything, anything at all, email me glenndavies235@yahoo.com.au, based in New Zealand, been living on the Gold Coast for 15yrs, been here 6 months, IT SUX, & looking to get back within the next 6 months tops....all the best Ahk....
I was diagnosed today, and it really is mind blowing how much of an effect it has had on me. Everything clicked, and it all made sense in one moment. It's been a crazy experience, but I'm very glad there's a community on TH-cam. I'll be looking for a local community soon, if there are any groups meeting right now.
@@hangingchad_ Yes, "how sweet it is to be in the company of one's brethren". TH-cam is filled with a lot of trash, like most media these days, but in this instance it is beautifully affirming to connect with others, with whom we can share our experiences. All the best!
I have just discovered this site. Perhaps I'm not really alone after all.
Me tooo💞
3 years ago. I’m 60. Stress from being evicted brought all my ptsd ( from early attempts to “help” me) To the surface. I was seeing a Psychologist for support . He saw all my weirdness for a year while I was self studying autism to see if I was. I was. My Therapist and I just went through the DSM5 criteria for Autism and he agreed. WithThe Autism And PTSD. Which I now get ssd for. Thankfully. 🙏🙃
Social security disability, monthly check, if you qualify.
That's the thing, getting a diagnosis costs too much. The SSD process is debilitating mentally.
I remember the adults from my childhood, and their litany of, "You're not trying hard enough"...or "You're not working to your potential"...or "Maybe if you acted more like the other kids, they'd like you better."
Finding out just how wrong the adults from my childhood were about me has been an emotional psunami of anger, relief, hurt, validation, a whole LOT of rejection, a bit of acceptance here and there, and a profound sadness at the cruelty I inflicted upon myself when I was so desperate for acceptance and to "just be normal."
Know how u feel..💞me to
Snap but luckily my parents put little academic pressure on me but 'your not trying hard enough' rings in my ears.........
What a relief though to finally know what is wrong though for me at the age of 63 and just having an assessment a lot of grief is coming up............. better late than never I guess? Good thing is since I self identified at 61 I have stopped much of the masking and pressure on myself and the depression is way less............... which is good.
Go well.
😥 Yes! so much negativity and I internalized all of it and told myself for 40 years it was all my fault and I had to try harder. Tried so hard still my life is a mess and I have horribly burned out at 45.
“If you don’t like the attention, then why do you do it?” A teacher told me that in middle school.
This resonates with my own experience so much.
Thank you all for sharing your experiences, they are so familiar. It seems like Australia and the UK have much higher awareness and acceptance of those with autism/Aspergers. Here in the US it’s taboo to think of anyone but a child as being different. I live in a city with a very large university with an autism research center for children and adolescents, but after repeated calls for referrals to groups or ways to meet with others like me (60 years old), they never returned my call. I often wonder where their kids go after aging out of that system. It’s a lonely existence, as I get older it gets more tiring to try to fit in. Thanks for acknowledging the reality of our atypical lives -the struggles and triumphs. Thanks, too, Paul for all your hard work bringing the message to us and the rest of the world.
I know! In the USA people seem to think autism is kids only
I hope you’d find some company by now…
It's important to know your genetics Aspergers is a genetic thing. My Dad is from Afghanistan and I know I inherited this condition from his side of the family. I hope to speak about my life story some day. I'm blessed to be alive today. I want to meet people who have struggled with Autism
hearing this conversation made me want to cry because of how overwhelmed I was getting with how relatable a lot of your guys' struggles were and the similarities in behavior and or struggles. Hearing Paul say that needing to go through the lengthy process of trying to get an "official" diagnosis from someone isn't really necessary is very comforting, because where I live there aren't really any resources or "professionals" who would be able to do that for adults, let alone women, and I don't have the finances or emotional stability to put myself through a lengthy stress test with the hopes of getting an answer.
It's really interesting to hear, how different the process was for everybody!
I'm going through my own diagnosis process right now and it's very different from what I expected. I have been mostly answering questions / filling out questioneers. The diagnosing doctor asked for a person that knows me very well to come in, but since it's plague times we agreed on having them write some things down and mail it in instead. I decided to have my boyfriend do it, because my parents never really thought anything was wrong with me - probably because they also have undiagnosed adhd and autism. I'm the first in my family to get any kind of psychological diagnosis, so that's been an adventure. When I learned about my adhd I suddenly noticed all those behaviours in my relatives and it's so strange to think I allways thought everyone was "normal". lol
same lol! Finally I was like "we're all mad here 🤡"
Thank you, this was so great. Really appreciate everyone's contributions. I was assessed a few months ago, age 59. I cried through this presentation, really touched me to hear your experiences and validated so many of my own.
Hi I would just like to say that you have helped me sooooo much, I used to think I was all alone, like no one was the same, but now thanks to you I'm almost certain I have Autism. Thank you ♥️. Words cannot express how grateful I am 💖💖💖
What a wonderful video. I haven't found another thing like this. It was nice to watch a group talking before trying to joining a group on my own. I have an unofficial diagnosis and am debating whether or not I just need to get it done to make my head quiet down. It was really wonderful to hear other peoples' wide range of experiences. It seems odd to me that some can be diagnosed in an hour and others have to go through hours of stressful (trauma) evaluation. I feel like the stressful evaluation is more for the clinician's research. I would love a 10 page report, but maybe they could just tell you that they know you are Autistic (they can tell you that in an hr) and then ask if you would like to go through the traumatic testing. It sounds like they don't want to tell their patients ahead of time what they want to do to you and take advantage of you wanting the diagnosis. Not very straightforward. Each clinician gets to decide what they want to do to you. They know that they are causing you mental pain and trauma but acting like it is harmless diagnostic testing. Mental health 'care' still doesn't seem to be very 'caring'...I feel like we haven't advanced much farther from shock therapy. I feel like an Autism diagnosis should come with a label (caution: side effects of evaluation process can cause mental and or physical trauma, depression, shutdown episodes, increased risk of self harm, fatigue, and as always - migraine). :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ALSO: I watched Sarah Hendrickx's video - I highly recommend. I love that she spotlights Autism in Females - I really think there are many men who have these so-call 'female autism' traits and are being completely ignored. I think they really are just more ways that Autism can present and not only 'female traits'. ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Thank you for making this video. I feel seen.
Thank you to my ladies from Oregon. So many things you said spoke to my heart and my experiences. I’m going to the GP today to get my referral to a Dr that can test me. My GP just thinks I have anxiety. Yeah anxiety from 49 years of masking!! Our health system is a joke. Feel like I am preparing for battle. Every time I leave the GP’s office I’m close to tears. Thanks again to all the participants of this call. It has been really helpful. At least I know that being dismissed by health care providers is super normal.
This is incredible. I’m actually hearing people talk of very similar struggles as I’ve had for my whole life and I had pretty much chalked it all up to the fact that maybe I’m just totally broken or a freak.
I just found this channel two days ago and that was the same day I came to the knowledge that I’m almost 90% sure I would receive an official diagnosis for ASD.
I have spent my entire adult life, after a childhood full of bullying and loneliness and being misunderstood, “trying to be normal.” I’m now 31 years old and I can’t do it anymore. Ive been fired from every job I’ve ever worked with the exception for a couple where I managed to quit before being fired, and when it happened again this year in January, I have been having a seemingly progressive meltdown since mid-January. Things have been getting harder and harder for me to cope, and I just thought I was maybe going crazy or something for not caring about my responsibilities anymore, and I have an 8 month pregnant wife and a 4 year old boy. Of course I’m not going to give up on them, but this year has been so tempting to just stop trying after a lifetime of masking.
This whole thing is jacking up my stress levels even more than it normally is because I’m becoming disturbed by the fact that all the personal work I did since I was 18 years old to “be normal” was completely in vain. Now I wonder what the future looks like as I no longer have any hope that I’ll eventually be neurotypical. I’m all alone in this, and just had my mother gaslight me when telling her I might be on the spectrum, telling me she got me tested when I was a boy and I was diagnosed as OCD and having a personality disorder, so my mother was blaming me for why I am the way I am again.
At least my wife is receptive…
I'm usually not one to be part of things like this, even online. If so I'm in the back row to myself. This was very positive and inclusive, I enjoyed it. Now I want to join the FB group. Keep it up!
Secondly, great to see so many women with eye contact and facial and vocal expression diagnosed as I've often wondered as I'm so capable of this that this may go against me?
Thanks again................ Go well all. Enjoy Hx
Than you so much Paul for this opportunity to hear this discussion with all this beautiful people. Thank you very much
Thank you so much to everyone for being so brave in sharing your stories. I can so relate to what everyone has shared. I am 45 now and learned 2 years ago on Dec. 17, 2018, that I am on the spectrum/Aspie. So grateful to have found Aspergers From The Inside, as well as so many other positive neurodiverse channels and people. Happy Holidays to everyone!
I love how there’s moments between them talking that feel like pauses. If you look at the right time it’s almost like we’re just looking at people through webcams. But then all the sudden someone talks and it’s either a brilliant insight or a supportive sentiment. And somehow they aren’t talking over each other.
I’m 31 and diagnosed ADHD as a teen and spent ten years ignoring that thinking it was a “fixable childhood issue”. It took me probably 2 years to go from “I want to be reevaluated” to “I signed up for an assessment”.
In that time I started researching ASD almost a year ago (and then ignored my research and self-tests for another 6 months) and all these little pieces from childhood to current are making more sense to me. But just because I understand myself doesn’t mean I can explain myself to others (unless I was given the opportunity to write out a life history and an up to date mood breakdown).
Finally started writing emails last week to try to get some steps in the right direction. Unfortunately I’m finding a lot of “please call” type of messages for different offices, and telehealth stuff is making me nervous but we still don’t have offices open I guess.
Thanks for sharing your journeys/ discoveries/ struggles. If there’s one thing that’s painfully obvious to me now it’s that our mental health system needs to be redesigned to be accessible to people with mental health needs.
Wish everyone the best.
Oh wow, how inspiring. I haven't had much good experience of doctors with anything that doesn't require medication.
I'm only 10 minutes into this but already it's been so rewarding. Thank you for making this available for people like me.
this is THE weirdest feeling.. you guys make me feel normal, and like i do have a tribe.. i HIDE from everyone and / or be anonymous always.... you all just made me feel like i have a family for the first time at 49yrs.. [well, its sort of true as i was a State Ward].. but even just joining the group mentioned i didnt hesitate.. usually i would never ever... with such personal situation because i am never accepted and can nver be myself... i dont usually
I was diagnosed 10 years ago, at age 48. Always knew that I was different, but was at a party and noticed the son of a friend acting very non-social, and it suddenly clicked in my head (he had already been diagnosed with Aspergers). Was formally diagnosed a few months later with PDD-NOS, when my (very understanding) NT Wife and I were going through marriage counseling with a local pastor, who was also a licensed psychologist. This probably saved our marriage!
I'm 40 and recently diagnosed with adhd although I think it may be more on the autism side of things, its awesome to know now that I'm not alone in this as that has been my feeling all my life I now know that my whole life has been scripted and masked and can somewhat stop blaming myself for the train wreck of a life I've had....so if you aren't diagnosed my advise would be to get get it as soon as you can as it could be life changing ,but I'm no expert I do wish it was spotted sooner rather than later though, anyway thanks for the content it's very helpful
had my assessment exactly a week ago, just waiting on the paperwork now-- sniffling my way through this whole discussion
Bless.
The bit about the the thing you were asked to get from the grocery store not being there just caused my chest to go tight and tears to well up.
I GET IT.
Yes
One of the questions that continues to come up is whether a formal diagnosis is necessary? That seems very personal to me with many factors to take into consideration. Like others here, I self diagnosed. It was just a couple of years ago in my mid 50s. It's been a lifetime of strange and otherworldliness for me, knowing there was something different/wrong/weird about me and trying to understand how normal people interacted. None of it made much sense to me. My relationships have always been off and my communications have often been confused and rife with misunderstandings. I had always hoped one day I'd grow out of it but that day has never come. It was only when my nephew was having problems that I began to look into Asperger's.
I live in the United States and I'm sorry to say that in many ways this is a tragically backward country. It might be hard for people in Australia and the UK to understand just how screwed up things are here. Healthcare is an industry, vastly expensive with poor motivation to get things right. What my nephew went through with misdiagnosis, drugs and therapists was traumatic for him and his family. He'd already seen enough trauma and distress. Personally I've gotten more out of Paul's channel than I'd likely ever get from professionals here in the US. Though there is a part of me that would like some validation, the cost is way too high and I'm not sure how many people I'd really want to share a diagnosis with anyway.
If there were things I'd like to get further help with, it would be perhaps getting a better understanding how PTSD can get interwoven with Asperger's? A number of people here seemed to agree with the difficulties kids with Asperger's experience in school. I can say much of my experience as a youth was a mixture of confusion, violence and abuse. I had some victories as well. Family life was so full of tragedy and stress that I didn't bother to bring my problems home to share. Adult life has seen some tough times as well but also powerful, life affirming experiences. Asperger's along with ongoing stress and trauma has left me with scars and triggers but also sense of depth and meaningfulness. Sorting these things out is something of a task but I have little confidence in professional assistance.
I'm 52. You could actually be just telling someone else about my life. This channel has so much to offer, including a form of fellowship we don't find in the real world. It's like an interactive book, where the characters are real, but almost like actors in a movie. I bet you know what I mean by that, without me belabouring it.
@@injunsun, Considering our approximate ages, I don't doubt there are a good many of us out there with similar stories. Without any sort of understanding of Asperger's in the 60s, 70s and 80s, those of us with the condition were basically left to struggle and work things out on our own. Some cases probably worked out better than other cases. I'm glad there are more resources available today. Again, Paul's channel has provided some excellent insights.
The 72 year female Pamela ? who shares first in this video is very helpful for me. I am 71 dealing through my entire life, with Sx that are considered "on the spectrum" but never been officially diagnosed because of USA medical system ins and outs and financial costs. Thank you all for your shares in this video.
I'm 44. Recently realized I'm on the spectrum. I don't understand why or how nobody realized before now. I have a brother and a son who are on the spectrum, and my other son probably is too. I've done the tests online and they all come back highly likely. Like some of you, it was the traits my son and brother have that I just thought were normal that tipped me off. Also recently, I've been NEEDING strong taste input, and have been compelled to eat a specific strong tasting food every day for a week or two before it suddenly switches to a different one. Then the process repeats. It's irresistible and I NEED to have the specific foods/flavors/textures. Watching this video made me feel understood for the first time in my life. I also have the fear of getting assessed by someone who very likely knows less than me, and I'm worried about going through the process and getting a negative, when I know. Just went through this with my 7 year old. It's very discouraging and severely limits the help he's able to receive, and is beginning to affect his self esteem pretty severely. Ugh. Wish me luck in finding us both the right place for a diagnosis.
My worst fears came true last week. After self-identifying as having ADHD early this year at 37, being diagnosed but having no (or even less) success with ADHD treatment, I started to investigate autism, and my traits are exactly like so many women diagnosed later in life. I wasn't totally convinced that my ADHD/autism "expert" psychologist was up to date on female presentations, but due to covid closing waitlists with actual experts, I embarked on the diagnostic journey with them. She basically disregarded my thesis worth of input (I am a psych professional myself, working in research and studying further), saying that the report cards from my dirt poor public school didn't give enough info on my behavioural issues past grade 2, and my mum didn't say enough to confirm autism. I was gifted and hyperlexic so didn't require my teacher's effort, and learnt to mask the way that so many of us do. I love my mum but she didn't do a lot of parenting outside of teaching me to make her coffee and buy her cigarettes before the age of ten - she conflates everything with me having meningitis when I was 3, and just being a shithead at home thereafter. So I apparently have ADHD and autism traits, but am not autistic.
It is possible as you said Paul, to know more than they do, and it can be devastating. I wish self-identification was enough for me, but the validation is necessary for me to feel authentic. I desperately want to use my education to advocate for others, but would feel like a fraud without diagnosis. I'll guess I will just try to avoid stimming myself into a stupor and letting anxiety destroy my study, career and relationships, until someone who cares enough to do professional development is available, sometime in the next millennium.
Feel for you. I actually could not read all of this but got the gist........... I'm in the middle of being assessed and fearing the same and I also have a people/sociol work background.
I suggest you watch Prof Tony Attwood's amazing lecture 'Girls and Aspergers' which I find so supportive and Yo Samdy Sam's vid on DSM 5 criteria?..............
Also if I don't get my dianosis in the UK given that everyone is using Zoom type equipment for assesment I might ask him to assess me!!! Just a thought? Problem solving tends to be one of our strengths! Go well
@@velvetindigonight thanks, I love the resources you referenced! I am a fiend for this stuff.
Fortunately, I heard back from an actual expert in women and girls, and have gone through a more age/gender appropriate assessment, and was diagnosed last week (firmly on the spectrum!). Now I feel better about writing my own research papers and contributing to advocacy, reassured I'm not misappropriating someone else's identity or speaking on behalf of others.
I've done the on-line tests, and am about 2 points into the normal spectrum. I finally decided I don't need a professional test, because I've watched enough videos to know where I actually am autistic, and where I'm not. On a social level, I can appear pretty normal, and I also enjoy socializing, but have always had a lot of sensory overload issues, major sleep and digestion problems, obsessive interests, a lot of fidgeting and leg-shaking. I don' t exactly feel that I mask, since I adopted a "weirdo" persona when I was very young, and it has allowed me to wing it socially even when I didn't understand the rules. This has led to a lot of rejection, but I have also always had friends, so it seems to be working more or less okay. I accepted that I was different even as a kid, and made adjustments. However, trying to conform was never something I spent much time on. It seemed like a losing battle. I studied people like an anthropologist and analyzed their behavior, but this didn't really help me to act any more normal anyway. I understand conversational rules better now, and am trying to discipline my conversational patterns by being more mindful.
💜 Thank you 🙏 to all here in this video💜 am very new to this channel & to the idea that I’m 69 & possibly on the spectrum. It does not bother me whether am professionally diagnosed as was diagnosed at age 19 with schizoaffective after a major breakdown.
Appreciate all of you!🙏
Who ever you are just know that you are valued!
The only people that wouldn’t sympathise are the ones who simply do not either have the education or maturity to understand 😃
It's not all education or maturity. Half of all humans have intelligence below average, meaning they simply can't understand us. Those around average and just above, they, too, simply can't grasp some things we do. It isn't that they lack maturity, or access to education. They simply can't see we do. Talking to them is like them talking to Koko, the signing gorilla.
I'm 18 but I was diagnosed by a Child Psychologist at 17 after I left school for college. It definitely opened my horizons and people were very accepting unlike others. I guess to them it was an excuse to not offend me. But this definitely opened my eyes on life. I lost my mum just a week ago and I do enjoy speaking to others on the Spectrum. If it wasn't for people similar to me, I don't even know if I'd be here especially after the hectic year I've had being anorexic as well a few years back
Sorry about your mom Venom. Im happy youre still here and it sounds like you got a great life ahead of you cause you got a positive spirit
I have ASD too. Now we'll see if I can find someone to diagnose it. At least now I know what to call it. "Suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment If finds a meaning." Victor Frankl...
Please make more of these videos. They are very helpful. You say that your number one suggestion is to interact with other Autistic people but sometimes thats not easy. Watching your videos is easy. Please make more videos like this.
That was a fantastic conversation. I had 2 online interview assesments and yesterday I went in to a centre for another assesment (The test/interview was really streesful). I've been told that because of the Easter Holidays I have to wait 3 weeks for my results to come back. My anxiety has gone up x10 fold worrying about what the result may be. I didn't expect it to affect me this much. If they come back to me and say that they don't think I have ASD, I'm not sure where I would go from there to be honest.
Oh My Goodness!! I am a 32yr old mother of four beautiful children. My oldest three are diagnosed somewhere on the spectrum, 8yr, 5yr and 9month old boys and a 3yr old girl. I am in the process of my Diagnosis right now!! Thank you for doing this video!! I am so excited!! This is perfect timing!! I’m so grateful for everyone’s time that is going into this!! Thank you so much!! You ALL are adding so much value to the world!!
Great topic! It’s so important for people to get help when they need it.
I actually found "the dot in the box" relaxing. All the other tests were stressful!
I was Diagnosed last year and given letter the who to this my concern. It took me years to get diagnosed with it. Before was just getting doctors wanting to give me antidepressants. I was given a booklet and website addresses that is all. I been now trying to diagnosed with ADHD. On the way to get diagnosed with Autism I did get diagnosed with PTSD.
I'm scared of being labeled. I do struggle with ADHD and after taking some online tests it seems very probable that I'm on the Autism spectrum. I don't want people to think I'm using these as excuses to stay where I am. I worry if I tell people they will think I'm just finding excuses for myself rather than growing up.
I'm 41 now, I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I have never felt like I fit in as most of my interest have often been uncommon. I still struggle to read an analog clock. I haven't found a way to consistently remember how to spell words. I often don't remember I've told somebody something in the past until I'm halfway through telling them again. I usually don't remember the important parts of conversations. This leads to a lot of frustration in my marriage as my wife has t repeat things often. I find myself frequently driving conversations back to a few of my main interests and/or curiosities (health and nutrition, US national debt problems, conspiracy theories(9-11 is like a brain magnet), new invention ideas, questioning the consensus of just about anything (I often feel people believe something because it's "accepted" not because it's true).
Thanks for reading. I don't know how or where I fit in, or if I want to fit in ("fit in" sounds boring),
But I firmly believe God doesn't make mistakes. I am His and I am not a mistake. I am loved and accepted by Him regardless if I feel this, that or the other. I don't need to know the whys', I need to choose to have faith and believe.
Much love to you all, looks like you have a new family member.
I’m in the same area as Crystal and would love to know where she was assessed and which vocational rehab place she went to! Her story resonated with me a lot.
Thank you so much for your video's, I recently self diagnosed and after watching your video's I'm identifying so much with experiences, Finding it hard to deal with it feeling like 48 years of my life have been wasted, especially as I tried to get help when I was 15 and nobody would listen, it's very overwhelming
The comments here are a goldmine of information and affirmation. Thank you
I think you make amazing videos. Thank you for all your hard work and Merry Christmas. 😊❤🎄
Hi - thank you so much for this video. Is there any chance that we could get the link to the assessors in Guelph Ontario mentioned by one of the people in the discussion saying they do international online assessments? I am waiting for an appointment in Ireland but worried about the cost and experience and hers sounded kinder and cheaper than others. Thank you
I get my assessment results in 6 hours and I’m super anxious about it
I’m not sure I liked getting a diagnoses - I was 52 and had struggled all my life but had developed a strategy to cope. Most people, here in Denmark, think Asperger’s is a just a combination of being socially handicapped and lacking in empathy - before I felt I was a freak by choice, now I’m a freak with a label - great 😖 no one listened to me before and now they actually have an excuse to question everything I say - I still haven’t found a new stratagy to cope with that.... btw I was diagnosed by a psyciatrist treating me for anxiety and depression - I didn’t choose it
We don't lack Empathy. We have Super Empathy, which is overwhelming, so we try to shut it down. We try to avoid eye contact, but because we can't figure out emotions, but because we see too much, it feels like we're probing, and we fear someone else will probe us right back. We are the closest to telepaths our world has produced to date. We don't want to intrude, and don't want to be intruded upon. Meanwhile, most people can't really read us, as we could them, so they distrust us as "shifty-eyed." We need to own our abilities, as they make up for our disabilities. We aren't "disabled," we're literally differently able. If society was all our kind, our world wouldn't be dominated by violence and chaos.
I agree completely, an uphill battle - I feel exhausted right now but in time we will suceed 💪🏾🐭
@@mouselander Det skal nok gå, du ikke den eneste i båden :).
@@injunsun spot on
@@Rasmus230100 sant sant💞
Hello. I just discovered your videos by chance less than a week ago. I have been in ongoing shock for days as things I heard you say resonated with me so deeply, as I have thought over individual parts of what you'd said all the things in myself those words made me reflect on left me in a kind of shock from knowing those things in myself so well but never knowing there was a name to link it to and others like me. I never felt I belonged on this earth because of my differences that i feel make me special but don't feel so special because of others reactions or lack of reactions, Cutting off my sentences and many other things.
Without going into details, I just needed to say 1 I am so appreciative of what you have done for me by helping me to discover this. I doubt I ever would have if it weren't for your videos. Secondly I have a complex situation and this, which I can't explain simply in writing but I could really benefit from some advice from you I believe. I hope it's not wrong for me to ask, but I really would like to have just one conversation with you to explain, it could really help. I have already got a referral just yesterday to get assessed for Autism Spectrum Disorder, G.P. estimated would be approx. $800. My issue is that while I can see it I'm 100% sure I am Autistic, I can see where a Dr. could use things to excuse and pass it off as other reasons especially situational and past trauma and so forth. My 4 children have signs of something I thought ADHD more likely. I'm a single mum in an Australian rural area and I Do Believe these disorders have contributed to our lifestyle challenges. I won't put more details on here. Please let me know of I may be able to privately discuss this with you a little bit. I'm a little worried for good reasons. Thank u for reading if you have, even if you aren't up for the chat. How you've helped me to find out has done so much for me already. Thank you.
+ I had only ever heard the word Autism before but I Never had any single idea what it was until seeing your video less than a week ago.
I have a Facebook account, but I stopped using it and removed the app from my phone recently. I even posted a pair of scissors to show I cut it off. But if you even just see the public things I've posted on there, being that I am gifted at writing and other things, you'll probably realise that I'm Autistic straight away even just from that alone, because you know what Autism is and looks like. I could almost guarantee you'd spot it instantly if you saw my FB profile.
it was nice to hear from you all
Thank you to those who shared their stories.
The "dot in the box" test is to check for attention problems. You should see what happens when you give a kid with ADHD that test. Most of the time they won't just give you the tests for Autism. They have to rule out other possible disorders/check for comorbidities, so there is a lot that goes into a comprehensive evaluation to make sure you are getting as accurate a diagnosis as possible.
I was wondering why the visual field tests for glaucoma drive my anxiety way up.
Feeling understood is great but feeling seeing feels even better...
Joanne, I'm 101% with you on diagnosis.
Big Thank you Paul and All....... I found this hugely helpfull and informative.
The comment 'Getting a professional who does not know as much as I do' hit home.........
I think I'm going through this at the moment with my assessment but you guys have given me my 'Plan B' which will be the clinic in Ontario! Hopefully they do Zoom? The NHS here in the UK are using it at present......
I've just been diagnosed at the age of 35. I originally tried to get diagnosed a while back and the psychiatrist spent half an hour with me and then told me I didn't have it. Turns out I'm just high masking and that psychiatrist is crap at their job. I originally began to suspect I had autism when I spent some time googling on the internet to try and find answers about why and how I was different because I'd been struggling with my mental health, partly as a result of being aware of that difference. I'm pretty sure my Dad has classical autism but he's from the generation before autism diagnoses unless you were also intellectually disabled. My nephew was diagnosed with autism at the age of 3 and my brother is definitely on the spectrum to some extent.
The lady at 9mins said she has memories from babyhood...others nod in affirmation of having the same...I feel validated
I’ve declined to look for a diagnosis. I already have 100% confidence in me being autistic. I have struggled a lot, partially because of the people I’d been surrounded by at school. I tended to attract other people with neurological differences. The issue there was they were generally the type that were diagnosed early, then went undisciplined as a child because of it, and by little fault of their one became... for lack of a better term, fairly vial. Crude humor and the like. With mostly that sort of contact I never really learned to mask in a... confident way I guess? So my anxiety in any social situation is through the roof. Now that I’ve got a job (happily working in construction) I’m doing better, but it’s still very difficult.
Anyway, due to my hobbies, a big one being marksmanship and learning the engineering and mechanical aspect of firearms, I feel a diagnosis of anything neurological could actually be very damaging for me. Many times there have been bills in the states that have been attempted in passing as law to make it illegal for someone with autism to even own a firearm.
Just an interesting take on diagnosis and the potential for the legal system to actually kill an outlet for someone like us. It’s not a point of consideration for everyone, but if you already know, and a diagnosis doesn’t seem to have logical benefit, find out what it could do against or even for you legally based on your interests.
Yo Luke how you manage working in what seems to me like a socially hostile environment (construction)? I mean like dealing with the constant ball busting and not being so social due to autism. Thanks
Hello Luke. I did not know about states attempting to restrict firearms for those with autism - I own guns myself in NJ. Probably has to do with the Sandy Hook shooting and people making wild assumptions about autism. Adam Lanza had WAY MORE issues than an Aspergers diagnosis, and it made me cringe when it was brought out after the shooting!
I understand where you are coming from with regards to fire arms. I have noticed a lot of talk from folks in the US about how people who have a mental health diagnosis shouldn't be allowed to own them in the interest of public safety. This usually comes up every time there is some public shooting covered in the news. "Oh the shooter was depressed or had anxiety, lets ban all of those folks from having firearms." People say that kind of thing. Its a really bad idea which I hope never comes to pass. It will make a lot of folks avoid mental health services and disarm a broad category of people when only a very small fraction will ever be violent.
@@goliathgiant3372 the key is that I got into a small business. There’s not a long chain of command. The boss is the owner of the business, and there’s just me and two other guys that are under him. I’ve gained his respect because of my reliability, which inherently comes from my nature of sticking to a routine. Just yesterday (Friday) we had a late start day, started a half hour late, totally threw me off.
I’m actually generally favored because the other two guys aren’t very responsible. One is a hothead, and the other, a good friend of mine, unfortunately has trouble making it to work on time because he actually has OCD. But being favored by the boss gives me a little extra confidence, which really helps me. Also, being that we do remodels, we do everything. That gives me the chance to find and enjoy my strengths, do the parts of the process that energize me, and that keeps me going. I will say, I work Monday through Friday. I do not function on the weekends. Mentally and physically, I’m completely exhausted.
Sorry, I’m writing a bit of a book here haha.
To kinda sum it up, it’s a 7:30-4 work day nearly every day, none of the people I work with seem to be neurotypical, I do the things I like to do, sometimes take charge when it’s one of my subjects that I’ve gathered a wealth of knowledge on, and in general it’s a fairly chill, self guided environment. Rest on the weekends is paramount.
All that said, just this past Wednesday I found myself alone on the job site and I got more done than I ever do with the realization that I wasn’t worried about what anyone else thought about how I did my work or in what order, because they weren’t there. I just focused on one task till it was complete, took a minute to think, and moved on to the next one.
@@danielabbey7726 I’ve found that usually when something like that shooting happens, the shooter was on mind altering medication due to likely misdiagnosis. I haven’t studied that one in particular, and honestly I haven’t studied the stats on this stuff in a while because I’m so busy, but there’s usually several factors, and often times there are more than enough signs to stop it before it happens. It’s a failure of several systems that causes those things. Creating another system when even others aren’t being maintained doesn’t work. We see that over and over again.
i love how you aLL talk like me.. and have that same nervousness because you too are use to having too squash or feel like youre not doing good enough .. because youre so use to knowing people think youre weird 😢
"What to do when you go to the supermarket and the thing your asked to buy isn't there"...
WELL? Give me the answer! This is important stuff!
I get anxious when someone is taking orders for a lunch run. I don't want to give them my order. I fear that what I ordered won't come back right. Then I don't know what to do or say. So I don't bother putting in an order.
I also get anxious when people ask me to pick something up for them when I'm going somewhere. When I take a trip to 7-11 on lunch break I don't tell anyone, except for my boss. I do ask my boss if he wants anything but only because I know he will always say no.
the last paragraph!
Just ask before going to the supermarket "what if they don't have the item you want , will I get something else or nothing at all?" or get them to write the item down "incase I forget" and ask for help at the Customer Services counter (usually at the store entrance) if you need to. Say "I'm not sure where to find this, can someone help me?"
Just write down what you want for iunch or say "I like things a certain way so I just bring in my own lunch"
Sorry to hear about your siblings. This is so hard. I got brushed off when I shared things about my son. "All kids are self focused". It's not right what we suffer through because people think they are "sparing us"... Those who don't understand or have the capacity to say it's an excuse. So appalling. Bless you.
1:09 My 38 year old son just received a formal diagnosis… My dad called him “The Professor” 🤓from when he was 18 months old. My son and I were always a lot alike and I understood him very well…. Realizing now, in my mid 60s that I’m no doubt on the spectrum as well! Coping by heavily masking through life, and as a female has been very exhausting and stressful. Diagnosed in my 30s with ADD-pi shed some light but this is definitely the missing piece!
Hi, I enjoyed the discussion and I relate to your experiences a lot. Could you share the book references you mentioned in the conversation? "Look me in the Eye" (what is the author?) and the psychology clinic in Guelph, Canada, that will be helpful. Cheers!
The author of Look me in the Eye is American John Elder Robison and he has some videos on you tube. Another good book is Pretending to be Normal by Liane Holliday Willey from a female perspective.
I prefer to say "I am autistic" rather than "I have autism". Anyone else feel this way?
Aspergian
Well, most people prefer saying "I have" because it's just a part of who you are, a detail (yes, a big one) about who you are
Yes a majority do www.abc.net.au/everyday/autistic-or-has-autism-why-words-matter-and-how-to-get-it-right/10903768
Saying "I have autism" is referred to as "person first" language which was the focus for a couple of decades. As someone said, the idea is that ASD is just one part of who you are. Currently the trend or at least the push in the academic community is to say I am autistic and also I am disabled versus I have a disability. It was difficult to wrap my head around it all in completing my Masters in Diverse Learners. Easiest way i can explain is to add "by society" (obviously oversimplified for brevity) to "I am disabled". It embraces the idea that we don't inherently have something broken or wrong with us. If the majority of people had autism then we would set up everything in society to suit the way we are, making them disabled. The second thing is that it helps neurotypical people get the understanding that it is neither inconsequential nor trivial - as in, oh, it's just a little thing we "have" which almost implies that it can just be picked up or put down at will. But it is not just a thing we have, it is integrated into every part of who we are. I am not like the rest of my neurotypical family and despite my excellent masking and strategies to "pass" I still never fit in. It also makes it a little harder for neurotypical people to dismiss the legitimacy of our need to do things differently than they expect because of their neurotypical bias. When we all stand up and say I am autistic or I am disabled, we become a community and there is strength in numbers. I am a teacher. That is also part of who I am at my core. Even when I don't have a teaching job, I am still a teacher. I don't say I teach for a living and I don't say I have a background in education. Some teachers do though because teaching is not part of the fiber of their being. So in the end it is personal choice. Neither is right or wrong; they both just reflect how language is influenced by changes in society. I teach in a learning centre and I think I was only really able to understand this by thinking about my students. I have many students on the spectrum who are all very different, I have students with Downs Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, and all different types and degrees of intellectual disabilities. Each time we add an individual student to the learning centre it's just one more person who has something else that's different, and needs an individualized plan. No matter how empathetic one is, nobody is going to completely overhaul how things are done for one student. It's just not reasonable. On the other hand I have a lot more power to affect change when I can say "I have 45 disabled students who require x" or "I have 6 autistic students who require a sensory space" instead of please install an elevatory for Tommy because he has... or Sara needs a water table and Susie needs magic sand or tommy needs a place where he can scream and Sally needs a space where there is no screaming. It is much easier to dismiss the perceived needs of one individual
I think I'm going to say I am 'neuro diverse'! Should be a great conversation opener! Enjoy
I didn’t get an official diagnosis, I couldn’t afford it. I did see a specialist to validate my experience. Sometimes I want one but at other times I’m okay with where I am.
Thank you, you are supportive people, I am late diagnosis, age 44, it's been difficult, I think I might be dealing with related ptsd. Due to it not being recognised. New Zealand, I guess like a lot of places is difficult, and not supported by government or most Insurance companies sadly. Kind Regards, Heath
Happy New Year Everybody - Stay safe
Hi Paul (and anyone reading this), I’m curious if you have heard of people who got / get lower marks in school on purpose to try to “fit in”? If yes, could you please do a video about it? Also thanks for your videos. They are so insightful.🎉
My daughter. Because she was ennoyed when they corrected tasks and tests in class and she had nothing to correct.
I did this
Thanks Paul. This was very interesting.
This is such a helpful video. Related very much to a lot of it. Thank you.
Great video my guys
I love this video! It makes me feel so much happier seeing that there are people who act like me and speak like me and move like me :-]
Normally, autism video are very scripted (lol!) and rehearsed and stuff. I don't normally get to see this side of people :-]
I've just been through the full formal process (in Australia). But I was disappointed there wasn't really any stuff to examine/measure information processing, which is one of the main issues causing me the most problems at work (and as a student). As in, focussing in on the details but having a challenge with making sense of the whole. I think this comes under the heading of "executive functioning"? Well there was _nothing_ about EF, even though it seems to be a key thing for many people.
My diagnosing psych said that's covered in the ADHD test, so I may end up doing that as well. (It's possible I also have ADHD, so might be worthwhile anyway. But it's all so expensive, and Medicare doesn't cover any of it.)
As it is, I had to push to get anything about it recorded on my report, even though it was one of the issues listed in my original referral from my doctor.
U know, once i failed my job probation period because i focused too much on details. The boss said i was too slow at work so i was terminated. I also have processing issues. How much did it cost to get a diagnosis in Australia?
@@johncitizen5843 It's super expensive. I paid $3k, though I've also heard of several hundred less
Hello, i am from Spain!
One thing that was difficult was going to crowded areas or heavily populated places. They have medicine for ADHD that affects how u focus. It's about how the Brain develops
The lady in the states made me start crying. I hate living in America man I can’t even say what I really want to say I just feel so frustrated with our mental health care system. I feel so alone and hopeless
I'm in the "I need the diagnosis" phase.
Years ago when I first suspected it, after a lifetime of having an autistic dad (who didn't have any idea during my childhood) but he did say "I think Naja (my son) might be autistic" . My second born son Naja is now diagnosed, as an adult, with autism2, but when my dad said it, when he was a small child, I was living in a incredibly disdvantaged situation and I could hardly compute what my dad had suggested.
When my dad became self aware of his own autism and my half sister had her children diagnosed and I had other diagnoses of bpd and cptsd and I had done A LOT of trauma recovery therapy and I thought "no there is more than just trauma", I remembered how my mum had always said "You are so like your father". I went to my gp and told him my suspicions and he said "Why do you want to spend all that money to find out something you already know?" and in a typically autistic response I didn't have an answer straight up. I needed a long time to process and think about why I wanted to spend a lot to be told something I already know. Because I wasn't just suspecting my autism I had done ALOT of online research and read some books as well and did the online tests and had high scores, so, to be accurate I wasn't just suspicious of having ASD or being on the spectrum, I did already know....and now I'm ready to gift myself, at 50 with a formal diagnosis. It just feels right and important to pursue it as I'm not able to work, barely able to leave the house, minimally functional much of the time, other than pursuing special interests. Luckily (for them, I guess) one of my special interests is my children's welfare, now all adults, all 7 of them, other than the youngest turns 18 in a bit over a week. He has submitted some paperwork and done some testing for getting an Aspergers/ Autism1 diagnosis (he is living in a youth flat now and being independant, although we spend quite a bit of time together.
Phew ...what a written rant! (awkward, embarrassed face).
I have contacted Tony Attwoods clinic in Brisbane, for myself I live about 3 hrs south of Brisbane, so I am awaiting a response.
I have told my new trauma psychologist that I'm autistic already, it was one of her areas of specialty already. I recently started an NDIS process (other Aussies will probably know what that is) and applied for a support program as leaving the house has become so incredibly difficult and I now need help to do that. Cptsd and ASD, with the ADHD traits on top of it, is a double wammy of social avoidance and more and more debilitating burn outs as I am in perimenopause and the dropping estrogen affects our dopaminergic system adversely and thus executive function is affected.
I found a clinic that diagnoses and treats the concurrent dual diagnosis of ADHD and "high functioning" ( thats a laugh, I'm not "high functioning these days) ASD but they have a 6-12 month waiting list and they don't tell you their fees until they've locked you in and I don't like that so hopefully, Tony Attwoods clinic on Brissy will take me on but it could still a long wait I guess. Also have contacted a psychiatrist that diagnoses ADHD in my local area but she has a 7 month waiting list too. Sigh. Nice to be exposed to other self disgnosed as well as diagnosed peeps, its all normalising for me and I really appreciate it. Thanks Paul and crew!
This is very helpful. Thank you.
Shout out to the Oregonians! I'm in Portland, OR.
I'm in Oregon, too! Would love to meet some other women with ASD!
Is there a way to connect with any of the panelists? Shauna said some things that put a huge "oh my too!" smile on my face and I'd love to connect with her (if she'e be ok with that, of course). Thank you!
If you go to the store and they don't have the thing you were supposed to get do you just wander the store for 2 hours trying to will it into existence and then spend the entire trip home coming up with a reason why it took you so long to not get anything just to have thought about it so much you forget how to talk.
I live in the U.S. Nearly 54. About as classic a case of " high functioning ' (barely I would call it). I have other issue's from physical trauma like 30% of my body 3rd degree burned at 14 months old (brain remodeling /hippocampus dysfunction/) .Physical Brain injuries from accidents as an adult . My brain scan shows a void in frontal lobe.
I could type for a month telling stories that to me seem impossible even though they happened to me.
In first grade I was given an 'entrance test" for a public school (in U.S. that means govt funded ) . The school was rated as the #3 highest rated public school in the U.S. which was why my parents moved to the town.
In certain aspects of the test I had scored higher the any other child in the history of the school. I had the reading level as well as comprehension level of an 11th grader. After the test my parents were called in and they were told about this . Somewhat of a fuss was made and teachers and administrators came in to 'look " (it was kind of weird) at the child who broke the test and what seemed like an impossibility. My mom an avid reader had taught me to read for a couple months before school to give me a leg up but it didn't really explain what was in play as its not that uncommon for a parents to read to a kid.
There are a 1000 stories of mental , physical and emotional abuse including actual torture. Then there is from after the first day of school , which i was EXCITED for and after an hour having that feeling of literally thinking I was put on the wrong planet. Abject horror and fear and then tremendous struggles from that point on and masking the whole way. Did terribly academically despite supposedly being "gifted" and very special, blah , blah .
I want to try to be short which is IMPOSSIBLE as anybody reading this might understand. The stories are abundant , some pretty wild, heart breaking , scary and although I DONT WANT TO BE PITTIED , sad.
I have ASKED for help my ENTIRE LIFE either DIRECTLLY or In indirect ways and have been told 100s if not 1000s of times that I AM VERY SMART and will figure it out.
just some small examples of my issues. I am figuring others will fill in much of the social problems and horrifying situation that can be being autistic and under the radar.
I can drive the same route for 20+ years , a simple route and get lost 50% of the time. Basically every time I drive anywhere it seems "new" or "new in someway".
Despite high intellect at 16 I did not know left from right. Was sent to a military / reform school (boarding school where I mostly was denied trips home when others went because of disobedience) of which I could write an entire book on how horrifying that is for a high functioning autist . One of the things I did there was attend a class of one (first ever I believe) of remedial marching where I did 100s of hours of military marching and punishment when I failed at it. I was sent there because AGAIN nobody could believe that I had issues because of my verbal and masking skills . I was thought to be a liar, lazy , dis obedient and a "BAD KID" of some sort. P.S. decades of Nightmare's and Night terrors after the experience that I still have from time to time based on the experience.
I have been going to professionals for a decade now and still have not received help. I WAS diagnosed with Adult ADD , Anxiety , Sleep Disorders and PTSD. Given stimulants , Benzo's and Sleeping pills that I cant think of right now but very common and make people sleep walk and do weird shit Zolipidem is the molecule .
I was in a car wreck 7 years ago and have a bunch of ruptured disc's in back in neck and a TBI from a rear end accident where i was sitting still and not my fault. All kinds of mental tests and brain imaging.
I have in the last few weeks completely hit a wall.
psychiatrist
I have lost what little ability I had previously had to ask for help or advocate for myself.
I feel like it is a "Set up" . Like I have heard my whole life to ask for help . To not be ashamed (especially as a man) . That help is ALWAYS available. As has been my experience my entire life , seemingly my ability to articulate things makes people believe I AM NOT STRUGGLING or HANGING ON BY MY FINGER NAILS.
It is like Charlie brown with the football and Lucy. I get coaxed to asking for help. Spend sometimes 100s of hours talking to people and in the end they haven't listened to a word I have said. I have spent an ENTIRE SESSION on JUST THE IDEA of my 100s of experiences being told "your smart , you will figure it out" and had the therapist say at the end " Your smart you will figure it out". I sat there with my jaw dropped. he was filling in some notes or whatever and then looked up at me . It took him 15 more seconds to realize what he said. It comes out of peoples mouths so easily.
That was a major point where I realized no help was forth coming.
I am dead broke . Essentially alone . one family member , my dad who has been supporting me financially for a couple years now. I receive food stamps and Medicaid , live in a 200 square foot apt. Dont go anywhere or do anything. Get clothes' and food from charities . Have been turned down for disability which none of my doctors for my physical or cognitive issues can understand .
But yeah. I have lost my ability to speak and think essentially. Lost my ability to hyper focus (which was lessened from the TBI as well). I also had 2 cases of Lyme disease which the 1 st one was not picked up right away so it was 3 months of anti biotics and symptoms never completely went away.
This is a small amount of info really but my question is IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE that helps people like me? I do not have the mental energy to try and explain myself to anybody again? I have no family and no actual friends , and friends Ive had did not understand either.
It truly seems like only another autistic person can grasp what this life is like. I feel like my life force is fading away and my ability to think or try and plan for anything just doesn't work anymore.
What am I supposed to do now? Any suggestions of how to deal with this impossible riddle where by asking for help I seem to impress on people I don't need or deserve it.
I am not suicidal although I kind of wish I was as it would be easier then this , but I just cant fathom that either.
Half a century of being tortured in a sense, seems more then enough for whatever the world seems to think people like me deserve. Maybe not hell , certainly purgatory.
Last bit, I have always been GREAT at helping other's and being an advocate for them due to my strong logic and being a bit of a pitbull with ideas when I know they are correct , but IT DOES NOT TRANSLATE to helping myself.
Thanks, this was difficult to write and I STILL always think about other people who may be worse off and living in North Korea or whatever and feel like I am whining even when I know that isn't logical. Its been beaten in to my head for so long from society it IS hard to shake regardless of how logical one is or thinks they are.
Beyond stuck.
Hope things get better for you
@@vanessapassmore3295 Thanks Vanessa, currently I dont see a way. This mega meltdown has left me seemingly unable to do anything. Every time I try it makes me feel worse. Its like a pavlovian thing to where my brain shuts down when I try now, like my brain just stop's me with overwhelm for fear of another negative experience that will cause complete meltdown that will leave me worse off.
Im not sure I could take one more round of explaining my life with poor results.
I dont think it is HEALTHY to constantly re-hash negative experiences and express them with no upside. It just further cements the negative stuff. I have tried my entire life to be positive and find work arounds.
I HATE !! essentially having a negative ' Mantra .
Thanks though.
I can empathize with your story. Can you get an attorney to help you with your disability case? They can usually point you in the right direction to get the documentation needed to make your case clear. You have a right to benefits if you have a challenge. Disability attorneys usually will work on a contingency basis and only collect if your case is won. It takes a while to get your case to a hearing, but from the date of application they will count back and give you retroactive benefits. I would attempt to file tomorrow morning, the cases are probably overloaded but they count from date of application minus a few months, in the interim while you are waiting you can call around to try to find an attorney. Do your best to research attorneys, check out reviews and try to find one that understands the spectrum. I will hold you up in prayer. Don't give up but try to go forward with a claim. You need money to survive and having that safetynet will reduce stress which will help you manage the condition better. No shame.
@@Mina-vi5le Thanks for replying . I have "lawyers " for 6 years now and I could write a book on the actual nightmare that has been in regard to disability . Besides my atypical spectrum stuff I have multiple other cognitive issues that were made much worse by a bad car accident that ruined my physicality as well as a TBI . 6 months after that I contracted Lyme Disease , I had never had the flu and thought I knew now why people said the flu could feel like one was dying , fealt like i was dying (not exaggerating) eventually with a 105 fever , in terrible pain in my joints and all the other stuff. About 10 days thinking I would get over it and being in bed the whole time , i caught a glimpse of my back in a mirror and saw the bulls eye and rushed to the doctor who said " OH NO! you definitely have Lyme Disease and a profound case but we will take your blood to confirm while we start the treatment. By 10 days the pathogen is entrenched and its not a couple antibiotic pills and done and I was on a VERY HIGH DOSE OF VERY STRONG meds for months and my health continuously got worse until I was asleep 23 hours a day every day and in pain and messed up the 1 hour a day I was ambulatory .
After Languishing and every doctor pushing me off to another doctor I found out that between my TBI and late treated Lyme I had all kinds of problems , including endocrine issues to where my testosterone wasnt " low" it was lunch lady level low . I had to wait for more tests before they gave me hormones and then waited more months for insurance to agree to pay so I was bed bound. Got on hormones and that very slowly helped a bit but I have never returned to even 10-20% of my physical or mental vigor and on top of that have chronic pain from insult to my spine to where I am missing my L5 disc, L6 is fully ruptured , 6 bulging discs in back and a full ruptured one in my neck and stenosis . So I have terrible chronic pain from that plus pain in every joint since getting lyme and a host of symptoms, became diabetic ( i am not "fat" and have been into exercise my ENTIRE LIFE and still very muscular in my upper body, my lower half has atrophied quite a bit because I spinal stuff and not being able to exercise my legs and butt as well as neuropathy and of course the constant low energy.
I should be eligible for disability based on some of the singular issues I have and 7 different doctors in different fields can not understand why I keep getting rejected for 7 years now.
extremely
Working in a factory since I sincerely tried to make a career path for myself and failed to such an extent that I believe this factory job overnights on the weekend is the best job I could get.
I just turned 63 and I lived like this all my life now . mom and dad being gone has left me with no one .I chased everyone else away
Sad
Getting my doctor to refer me to a neuropsychologist has been exhausting. Not much help where I’m located.
At my age it’s hard to be taken seriously (44).
Look me in the eye by John Elder Robison is an amazing book it was like reading about myself!
You know, I’m 51 - being a teen 13 yrs old, I refused to go to school. Cutting it short I was diagnosed with depression and put on strong antidepressants, because the psychiatrist diagnosed me with depression and I was put on strong medication. A tricyclic antidepressant.
But I used to invent illness in the junior school. ( evident at about 9 yrs old )
Masking though. My lord I’ve learnt to do it, at this age. 😢
Wow! Where in Guelph did you get your assessment done!? Neurodivergent people doing the assessments? I would love to connect with them!
A question for the men in the group... Do you notice when women flirt with you? Friends are always telling me, "she likes you," and I say, "How can you tell." They always say something like, "isn't it obvious? "
Yeah thats always been the case, completely oblivious to the point where some women in the past that were interested in me asked me if I was gay because I missed their signals and were confused. I liked them too just didnt know they were flirting
@@goliathgiant3372 I ve had the same comments. Apart from not being sure about the signs I was also cripplingly shy and awkward until adulthood, and unable to talk to women. I've never been diagnosed Now .61
You know, it's interesting because both men and women on the spectrum have said this. It makes me wonder whether it's really a "guy thing". Maybe boys are just improperly introduced to social activities and expected to be less sensitive of cues, so there's no growth in that area.
Being very religious, it was always downplayed as being unwilling to take the chance, or being more concerned with avoiding sin.
Thankyou….question, where do I find people like me and you all to associate with …are there support groups in Melbourne or face book groups?
Can you post a link to this group? I am trying to find a support group but maybe virtual is the only way to go.
Can someone post more information regarding that online virtual testing place in Guelph that was mentioned? I haven't had any luck via google
This is cool, but I was diagnosed in middle school & not as an adult. Regarding my autism diagnosis I went through 3 phases. 1st I didn’t want to believe it. Then I told people that I have ADD because I was afraid that people would judge me for being on the autistic spectrum. Now I wear my mid functioning Asperger’s syndrome with pride! The autistic spectrum isn’t a sickness, it’s a super-power!!!
I love this channel so much. I’ve joined the facebook group and it’s been life changing for me. Can I add one constructive criticism pls? It would be nice to see some people of color (if available) on such a large panel. 😢 :)
Can you make a video about the difficulties we have, and the issues we may encounter on day to day basis?
Like, learning difficulties and stuff
I know this is old.. but is there anyway to find out from the Guelph Ontario woman where she went for her assessment? I live in the area and would like to look into this.
24:06 I just had this EXACT EXPERIENCE. I was told by a tele-health therapist I'm just getting to know, that I couldn't be Autistic because I make eye contact [WITH THE SCREEN]. In actually, I'm watching my own video closely to make sure I don't do anything [too] weird. I'm so frustrated. I'm afraid I won't be able to trust him with anything now. 😢