The way I saw it when I was a teenager is that if I had sex before marriage I would be cheating on my future wife. Once I knew who my wife was going to be I didn't want to disrespect her. We married when we were both 22 years old, which we found to be the ideal age. We never regretted waiting until after we were married to have sex. Yesterday we celebrated our 43rd wedding anniversary and we are still very happy together. It helped that we are French-Canadians and in our culture, it was an unwritten rule in both our families that you just don't have sex before marriage. It was expected of you. We raises our kids to believe in saving yourself for marriage. There are so many GOOD reasons not to have sex before marriage and so VERY LITTLE reasons to go ahead and have pre-marital sex. If there's no sex, you have a 100% guarantee not to have a surprise pregnancy, and even better, you're 100% guaranteed not to catch any STDs!
Wow! This is so helpful! I am a new Catholic and I’ve gone through “God please zap this and remove it from my life” for a couple of things from my discarded secular life. I had figured out that God won’t take it away but he will use it to drive growth, especially in one’s prayer life. It was a great feeling to hear that confirmed! You are such a great teacher! Mark in Indianapolis
I've heard that anger and lust go together. Your opening statement brought this to mind. Looking back at my own personal mess I was responsible and ardent in my job to support my family but I was emotionally immature. Plagued with anger and lust. Without the understanding of restraint. Lord have mercy on us poor sinners
200% I've been working on some addictive behavior and just a few weeks back I realized I go to that behavior to forget about some emotions. (in this case it was grief but, I've done it for other emotions I wanted to take my mind off of as well) Since then I've been noticeably more resistant to temptation. Its still hard but it feels good to make any progress on it and that gives hope.
This is so good father. I'm struggling right now with my feelings for another girl(ssa) in a way that I've never felt before. I simultaneously don't feel strong enough to resist and also am just so angry that I'm expected to. I don't wanna lose myself but I don't wanna give it up once and for all. I feel like my whole life my approach was always distract distract distract, so I never had to deal with it head on. I guess I do need growth. I just don't feel ready and am so lonely.
Thank you Fr. As a very emotional person myself, I sorta have come to some of those conclusions on my own, practicing self examination, but the part about not needing healing but "growing" is a plus I hadn't thought about! Thank you again for the blessing of clarity and discernement ❤
Thank you Father. I explained today to Brother Samuel (we met at Split !) what was my job… in a way, I teach chastety ! To manage emotions I explain a « new program » (it comes from MBSR - Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction - Jon Kabat Zin) for the Brain : STOP S - make Silence when emotion is strong T - Take Time and breath O - Observe what you are filling : sensations in the body, associated ideas, needs… And ask you : do I realy need this ? Or what is essential by now ? P - offer you the Present of your essential need…
"...it doesn't need healing, it just need growth." !!! my mind just blew! again you made me cry...laughing and a little tear for the other. I never thought about listening to my emotions or desires. I always looked at it as a fight. And when I was deeply struggling, I found excuses or tried to go at it alone. Until I truly asked for God's help. I still struggle but I've come a long way. I keep learning more and more every time. God is great. Thank you, Fr. Columba, for letting God's goodness to flow through you to us. May God continue to bless you.
Thank you Father. Very insightful message on "go to behaviors" we use to escape unwanted emotional states. We can apply your insights to any area of life.
Wow… So simple, yet so powerful. And accurate! God bless you! Please pray for me to grow in spiritual maturity. I will pray for you. God bless you, Fr.
Hi Fr. Columba. This is your best video to date! Thank you so much for explaining things in a way that we can understand. You're right on about emotional maturity. It's always a work in progress for most of us. For instance, I'm struggling with unforgiveness and use complaining and music as a means to deal with it. God bless.🙏🙏
Thank you, Father. A beautiful message of hope, both by the way you present it and by breaking it down into manageable chunks so that it’s not so daunting for us to face these things. Peace to you!
I think this advice applies to people who are largely whole and adult in the first place people who are a hot mess might need medicine, deliverance, reparenting, healing.
Beyond helpful Father, thank you. I never thought about parenting my emotion and it's brilliant, help us to think clearly as we are talking/justifying the issue. Blessings:)
Thanks Father, you passed with flying colors, that is a hard subject to talk about it specially because few people really think that is important, talking about Christians in general, nobody in particular. The big revolution was the separation of sex with procreation and the confusion that sex without love is ok, enforces by all the psychology of “ liberation” of sin, that brings so much suffering as you can see our society. Love, Sex and procreation (LSP) should be a powerful triad but they are divided and humans think that they can control all of them, and then controlling sex and procreation you think that you can control love, and then sex is used as manipulation to the other person, and then some children who are not wished are borne or aborted, and it’s a mess. Life is sacred, sex is the means by we bring life and the Union of those two things is love.
Great video! I’ll try to apply this to myself when some of my passions start burning… they indeed come from immaturity. I’ll try to talk to them as a parent.
With prayer, nothing is a struggle. Celibacy is a wonderful gift to God, and a liberation for the chaste. We need to be reminded that we are ALL called to chastity unless to the sacrament of marriage.
*God bless, Father. Ideally kids would learn something like Violin and Piano, plus the Psalms, before they get that kind of curiosity... That's my idea on this one.*
Thank you Father, Fear and anxiety, I have dealt with, but I recently experienced dread; the feeling that everything is overtaking me and that i am helpless to the point I am in danger, I called the Dr and I am taking small steps and being careful not to catastrophise, but its like sharing a room with a fierce animal. I am a good man, I never broke any rules and the choices i make are honourable, recently my life has become disrupted while my wife is switching carreer,but i cant shake the feeling that i have stirred up some sort of fundamental disharmony , I am 45 could this be midlife crisus?
Thank you love the video, it really hit home . I have a question about sex or marital making love , some priest say it’s only for having children and after that we canot engaged in love making . Than you have other priest saying we can have give each other in this matter . What does the church say about this I’m confused.
Hello Friend, are you referring to Father’s order? He is with the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal. You can look up and see where the nearest friary is to visit. God bless you and your discernment.
Sadly the ads before the video don't align with Truth, some are very far away and not virtuous.. If there a way for your podcast to swtch them off/reject them, other podcasts can, I don't know how though. Do like these podcasts.
You can't deny a natural function. Just don't over do anything. But this ejection has to happen. ❤ It has self healing elements that ignite other self healing. And your youthfulness is triggered. ❤
"You're not broken, you just need growth". Thank You, Father!
You're very welcome!
yes!
I love it. ❤
The way I saw it when I was a teenager is that if I had sex before marriage I would be cheating on my future wife. Once I knew who my wife was going to be I didn't want to disrespect her. We married when we were both 22 years old, which we found to be the ideal age. We never regretted waiting until after we were married to have sex. Yesterday we celebrated our 43rd wedding anniversary and we are still very happy together.
It helped that we are French-Canadians and in our culture, it was an unwritten rule in both our families that you just don't have sex before marriage. It was expected of you. We raises our kids to believe in saving yourself for marriage.
There are so many GOOD reasons not to have sex before marriage and so VERY LITTLE reasons to go ahead and have pre-marital sex. If there's no sex, you have a 100% guarantee not to have a surprise pregnancy, and even better, you're 100% guaranteed not to catch any STDs!
God has Blessed you!
Wow! This is so helpful! I am a new Catholic and I’ve gone through “God please zap this and remove it from my life” for a couple of things from my discarded secular life.
I had figured out that God won’t take it away but he will use it to drive growth, especially in one’s prayer life. It was a great feeling to hear that confirmed!
You are such a great teacher!
Mark in Indianapolis
I've heard that anger and lust go together. Your opening statement brought this to mind. Looking back at my own personal mess I was responsible and ardent in my job to support my family but I was emotionally immature. Plagued with anger and lust. Without the understanding of restraint. Lord have mercy on us poor sinners
200% I've been working on some addictive behavior and just a few weeks back I realized I go to that behavior to forget about some emotions. (in this case it was grief but, I've done it for other emotions I wanted to take my mind off of as well) Since then I've been noticeably more resistant to temptation. Its still hard but it feels good to make any progress on it and that gives hope.
you're not alone, brother. Never. Not matter what.
Thanks, Father Columba! Prayers! ❤
This is so good father. I'm struggling right now with my feelings for another girl(ssa) in a way that I've never felt before. I simultaneously don't feel strong enough to resist and also am just so angry that I'm expected to. I don't wanna lose myself but I don't wanna give it up once and for all. I feel like my whole life my approach was always distract distract distract, so I never had to deal with it head on. I guess I do need growth. I just don't feel ready and am so lonely.
Thank you Fr. As a very emotional person myself, I sorta have come to some of those conclusions on my own, practicing self examination, but the part about not needing healing but "growing" is a plus I hadn't thought about!
Thank you again for the blessing of clarity and discernement ❤
So glad it struck you, praise God!
"the part about not needing healing but "growing" is a plus I hadn't thought about!" I second that!
@JC-du6sn He is a Protestant.
Love you brother. Hope I can meet you some day God bless you and Our Lady of Guadalupe. Hello from Mexico
Thank you Father. I explained today to Brother Samuel (we met at Split !) what was my job… in a way, I teach chastety ! To manage emotions I explain a « new program » (it comes from MBSR - Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction - Jon Kabat Zin) for the Brain : STOP
S - make Silence when emotion is strong
T - Take Time and breath
O - Observe what you are filling : sensations in the body, associated ideas, needs…
And ask you : do I realy need this ? Or what is essential by now ?
P - offer you the Present of your essential need…
Thank you Father!
"...it doesn't need healing, it just need growth." !!! my mind just blew! again you made me cry...laughing and a little tear for the other. I never thought about listening to my emotions or desires. I always looked at it as a fight. And when I was deeply struggling, I found excuses or tried to go at it alone. Until I truly asked for God's help. I still struggle but I've come a long way. I keep learning more and more every time. God is great. Thank you, Fr. Columba, for letting God's goodness to flow through you to us. May God continue to bless you.
THAT WAS HELPFUL, THANKYOU ONCE AGAIN FR COLUMBA. GOD BLESS
This is a very healthy take on chastity. I wouldn’t expect anything less from Fr Columba!
Glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you Father. Please pray for me. I will pray for you.
Thank you.
Very timely
Thank you Father. Very insightful message on "go to behaviors" we use to escape unwanted emotional states. We can apply your insights to any area of life.
Wow… So simple, yet so powerful. And accurate! God bless you! Please pray for me to grow in spiritual maturity. I will pray for you. God bless you, Fr.
Very, very helpful. Thank you Father.
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you Fr. Columba. Always very helpful. Keeping you in prayer 🙏.
I appreciate that, thank you!
God bless you too, Father Columba!
Very helpful fr columba , I feel I need some growth of self, thank you
Hi Fr. Columba. This is your best video to date! Thank you so much for explaining things in a way that we can understand.
You're right on about emotional maturity.
It's always a work in progress for most of us.
For instance, I'm struggling with unforgiveness and use complaining and music as a means to deal with it.
God bless.🙏🙏
Your approach to grow in virtue by pain is one of the best approaches to life I ever heard 😊
Glad you think so.
Thank you, Father. This is helpful.
💙
"...the only solution is to walk through this"....truth.
Thank you, Father. A beautiful message of hope, both by the way you present it and by breaking it down into manageable chunks so that it’s not so daunting for us to face these things. Peace to you!
So glad you think so, bless you!
Thank you, Father. Your message really spoke to me.
Glad to hear it.
Gracias! Excelente ,saludos cariñosos desde Merida Yucatan
Thanks for watching.
Thank you Father! God bless 🙏🏽
You are very welcome!
I think this advice applies to people who are largely whole and adult in the first place people who are a hot mess might need medicine, deliverance, reparenting, healing.
Wisdom words. And pray to Our God for His strength, insight through the Holy Spirit and that He lets us lead us..
The talk is really trans-formative. The beards will make me remember this 🙂
Beyond helpful Father, thank you.
I never thought about parenting my emotion and it's brilliant, help us to think clearly as we are talking/justifying the issue. Blessings:)
Absolutely amazing and insightful. Thank you, Father!
Amen! 🙏❤️ Thank you very much Fr. Columba. This explanation is very helpful and so true. God bless you!
I chose St Agnes when I was baptised and confirmed because this is an area I really want to grow in. This is wonderful advice, Father, thank you!
Father Columba, thank you!
Thank you for this, Father Columba. This was a very timely message.
Thank you Fr. I found this very helpful advice. God bless you
Thanks Father, you passed with flying colors, that is a hard subject to talk about it specially because few people really think that is important, talking about Christians in general, nobody in particular. The big revolution was the separation of sex with procreation and the confusion that sex without love is ok, enforces by all the psychology of “ liberation” of sin, that brings so much suffering as you can see our society. Love, Sex and procreation (LSP) should be a powerful triad but they are divided and humans think that they can control all of them, and then controlling sex and procreation you think that you can control love, and then sex is used as manipulation to the other person, and then some children who are not wished are borne or aborted, and it’s a mess. Life is sacred, sex is the means by we bring life and the Union of those two things is love.
God has answered me through this video, thank you father and Praise God!!
Praise God.
Thank you for this insight Father 😊
This pertains to other things besides chastity. Overeating, or other addictions, etc. would love to see you continue to speak this topic.
Fr. Columba, another thought provoking Video... thank you.
This will be listened to again and again.... so much power !!!!
Thank you Father
Thank you
Thank you Father. Amen
This hit super hard
Thank you very much, Father
Great video! I’ll try to apply this to myself when some of my passions start burning… they indeed come from immaturity. I’ll try to talk to them as a parent.
With prayer, nothing is a struggle. Celibacy is a wonderful gift to God, and a liberation for the chaste. We need to be reminded that we are ALL called to chastity unless to the sacrament of marriage.
Definitely helpful 💝
Thank you Father. You are looking well. When you were in New York, you looked a little pale and under the weather.
🎯🎯🎯
I replay ten times so far still don’t understand some parts, I’ll keep replaying
*God bless, Father. Ideally kids would learn something like Violin and Piano, plus the Psalms, before they get that kind of curiosity... That's my idea on this one.*
Bless you.
Chastity is something I never asked for or agreed too.
Bombing my feed won't change that.
What's your persistance.
It sucks being a human being somethimes. Pray for me.
Thank you Father, Fear and anxiety, I have dealt with, but I recently experienced dread; the feeling that everything is overtaking me and that i am helpless to the point I am in danger, I called the Dr and I am taking small steps and being careful not to catastrophise, but its like sharing a room with a fierce animal. I am a good man, I never broke any rules and the choices i make are honourable, recently my life has become disrupted while my wife is switching carreer,but i cant shake the feeling that i have stirred up some sort of fundamental disharmony , I am 45 could this be midlife crisus?
Keep strong. Tell yourself this daily "Jesus is my strength, my force in all things". And He is! God bless
Thank you love the video, it really hit home . I have a question about sex or marital making love , some priest say it’s only for having children and after that we canot engaged in love making . Than you have other priest saying we can have give each other in this matter . What does the church say about this I’m confused.
Can you address the persecution of the Traditional Latin Mass? We just want to worship God and practice the Mass that the Saints attended
My inner voice has strep throat, and sinusitis. My inner ears are blocked by quarters.
❤ How is Claire the kitten?
You remind me of a cooler Catholic Qui-gon Jinn
Cooler than Qui-Gon? Wow.
Where can I get a nice cross like the one on your wall at your back right
i am sure ebay has one saw plain cross on there yesterday
Is that Audrey the Orchid behind you? Where's Gerry?
But what about if the emotions and thoughts are so vile that you don't even want them to appear in you at all?
How can I join you
Hello Friend, are you referring to Father’s order? He is with the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal. You can look up and see where the nearest friary is to visit. God bless you and your discernment.
@@ctmcatholic thank you
Sadly the ads before the video don't align with Truth, some are very far away and not virtuous.. If there a way for your podcast to swtch them off/reject them, other podcasts can, I don't know how though. Do like these podcasts.
Just use an adblocker
You can't deny a natural function. Just don't over do anything. But this ejection has to happen. ❤ It has self healing elements that ignite other self healing. And your youthfulness is triggered. ❤
Maybe a magic pill is envisioning Jesus right in your face at that moment 😀
One of the signs of growth is when you stop loving others, only then you will realize that love is a childish game.