Haha that made me laugh so hard. My trick was always to picture how small me and my problems are compared to how big the ocean or the galaxy is...but this is way better. 😂😂
I can’t help it. I love this woman’s channel. I’m a dude and not her target audience but her humor, presentation, and creativity are top notch. And the topics she picks sometimes feel like she’s in my head. Keep doing you Caroline! And thank you!
I recently listened to her excellent advice about dating, and as an attorney for almost 30 years I realized that when I meet with new client prospects that it is truly a first date, and I have taken heed of her thoughts on reducing then tension, such as she assumes that the other person has already dumped her---and that takes all of her anxiety away. Wow! She is prescient.
My dream job would be running a dog hotel. Minimal interactions with people and my customers all being dogs. Enjoying their company until they leave again, playing with them in my big yard / garden etc.. 😂❤️ Unfortunately it's a lot of work to be there full time so I'm waiting for the right husband to envision the same life as me and do it together.
Elizabeth coming on the channel is a VIBE. I can't figure out how she is constantly frowning in such a loving and supportive way. I want that look on my face.
Yes, the focus, the concentration. Nothing else is on the table, just the topic at hand and the sister she clearly loves, respects, and enjoys. To be an object of interest in this person's life and mind is a glorious gift.
As a library professional, listening to Elizabeth speak about her book/Shakespeare/writing in general… swoon. People who love reading/literature just enter into this weird zone when they speak about books and when they do, they become the most beautiful version of themselves. It was just beautiful to see. It was so nice seeing you Caroline gushing about your sister. Love it. Will be picking up this book asap. Thanks for the video girls 🥰
I really love this. Esp the part about being the most beautiful version of yourself when you’re doing something you love - or just being very true to yourself. It’s a cliche for a reason. And it’s so meaningful when you get to see the people you love find that thing
Sylvia Plath writes about that idea of “all the lives you could live” in the Bell Jar. Like sitting under a fig tree and looking up at all the beautiful tasty options, and as you sit around and try to decide, they all shrivel up and fall. Kinda dark, but relevant.
@@drebugsita yes when she said that line it made me instantly think of ADHD. I do suspect that Caroline is "one of us" and if she is then her sister might be too.
@@_essleSince I was young I was concerned that if I read Sylvia Plath I'd relate too much, given my tendency towards depression. But now I'm thinking I have the bandwidth (thanks to therapy and meds)
Okay so literally seconds before I clicked on this video, I was having a strong crying session because I was second guessing my decision to quit my stable job with the highest income I had earned to date, but also burnt me out and gave me anxiety attacks every day to the point of causing my physical health to plummet. I was crying because after 3 months, I’ve yet to land a job I care enough about and struggling to pay my bills. This video gave me a break from the crying and confirmed I made the right decision. I was feeling so low and you and your sister reminded me, at the perfect time, that it’s okay to live in the unknown and pursue a passion project that may redefine what work-life balance looks like. It’s okay to loose sleep over something you love. Thank you for saving me from what was going to be a pretty unpleasant day. ❤
i'm so hopeful you found your "dream job." i was in a similar position once early in my career. i did wonder "what if" sometimes... but now that i'm retired & have the vantage point of seeing my entire career & im so, so glad i left that trajectory.
OMG. Yeah, everything is temporary compared to death. It's dark and it almost shades a little toward suicide ideation. Though not as uplifting as "tha haterz gon' die some day," I tend to think about the myth of rock bottom. It can ALWAYS get worse; it could have been worse. Let's not help it.
I thought I was the only one who used my inevitable death for comfort! 😂 I am always thinking and saying, "It will work out...and if it doesn't, I only have about 30 years left on the planet." This statement actually brings my anxiety level down and allows me to take risks.
Watching this made me realize that I want to be consumed by something. I want to wake up every day driven by mad desire to see an idea or project through. That to me is the definition of passion, a life’s purpose. To know that what you’re doing is something your soul needs. Caroline talking about wanting to something so bad she felt like she would combust made me realize I’ve never felt that way about anything.
She was reading in the pool; in the pool, not in the chair by the pool. I bet her toes were pruney. The people that can obsessively pursue probably feel like it is on the fringe of healthy. The stakes for failure are very high when you invest so much of yourself into something. Curly said that the secret of life is one thing, just one thing. It's up to you to figure out what that one thing is. 😉
I’ve never felt that way about any one thing before either, and I’m 55. I’ve come to learn and accept that that’s okay. I have a lot of different interests and pursue many different things. For me, that is my passion.
@@Troubleshooter-2.0 "The stakes for failure are very high when you invest so much of yourself into something." Exactly.... I think my anxiety over failing has always prevented me from getting too deep into anything (other than, finally, a relationship). It's an interesting thought, and I've had a fulfilling career so far, despite that.
A few things: 1. I don't comment on TH-cam videos, like, ever, but I felt compelled after watching this one. 2. Both Caroline and Elizabeth's intelligence, thoughtfulness, and wit are stunning, and I love how you play off each other. 3. Super looking forward to reading the book. 4. Y'all are sister goals, and it's a beautiful thing to see.
As an almost-27 year old recovering people pleaser, I still struggle to separate my desires for what I want my life to look like from the expectations of people around me to do more or better things. And, I am paralyzed by the fear of choosing the wrong path and closing the wrong door. What Elizabeth said about law school is exactly how I've felt every year since graduating college, and it was weirdly validating to hear her say that she still sometimes thinks about what her life may have been if she'd chosen that route. It's wonderful to hear this conversation between two successful women who have made hard decisions to pursue the path that feels most authentic to them. Thank you, Caroline. I know I'm not the only one, but your channel feels tailor-made for me
I don’t regret not going to law school and live a life full of billable moments. Instead I saved myself from being in debt and then working myself to death. My career path was very successful where I had more control over my life and was a high earner…after almost 10 years of working, I quit to become a stay at home mom to 3 kids. It has been gratifying! I have helped my husband to be become highly successful in a very demanding career and we work together as a team. Our kids are grown and now I get to pursue my passions! We are now working toward retirement and living a fulfilling life!
Elizabeth - Similar to "there is no such thing as bad publicity" there is no such thing as a bad reaction to art or literature. Something this thought provoking should be celebrated for having garnered such intense and passionate feedback. An artist or author's worst nightmare has got to be no reaction to what you have created. Poking the public and getting them to say what they really think - congrats!
only 4 minutes into the video but i have to say-y’all (your carriage of self, careers, wisdom, connection) makes me so excited to live my life. i am so inspired by you both, and how i can envision myself living the way that you do, courageously. thank you for sharing
Caroline, this is my favorite TH-cam channel! You are so entertaining, but more than that, your content is meaningful and so so real. I am a designer; interiors and graphics, with an art background. I like to write as well. We are all born artists but some of us get convinced otherwise. Unlike other paths such as medicine and law, the path of an artist is made by the artist themselves, one step at a time. Our life is the finished piece. 🙏🏼
Hope you know how meaningful it was to read this ❤ and so true about the unpaved paths. A lot of the terror comes from that lack of certainty, but also so much of the reward
Everyone’s life is the finished piece, made one step at a time. I’m an artist who went into medicine, and I just want to say, that there is nothing guaranteed, easy, paved, or uncreative about this path. In every aspect of my life I’ve bridged seemingly disparate worlds, so I speak from deep experience being on both sides. The amount of sleepless nights. Being “possessed,” consumed, driven by endless curiosity about the inner workings of the human body-the sheer complexity is often beyond fathomable-and how to identify, diagnose, and create a treatment plan for each individual, case by case, in spite of that complexity. The crippling anxiety about not knowing how your exams, applications, years and years upon years of schooling will go. (Things can and WILL TRY TO derail you, every day). Constantly brainstorming about new strategies to implement in your studying & forging discipline in every aspect of your life to support reaching your goals is nothing short of a maximally and holistically creative endeavor. Not to mention juggling other responsibilities and dealing with unforeseen events every step of the way. I lost 4 family members in the span of 9 months and had my entire life uprooted and my study went on, my work, my life went on. It was forever changed, and needless to say, so was I by it. Months after my father’s funeral I was confronted with human cadavers, I spent 1.5 years working with them, even witnessed 3 autopsies being performed, when I was still freshly grieving. Things which many people simply don’t have the stomach for. You overcome obstacles every day of your life, every breath you take. An artist needs the same faith, discipline, dedication, & drive to be able to produce and pull off their oeuvres. So my long-winded point is, whatever path you choose in this life: it still depends on you, every step of the way, on your dedication & willingness to evolve & grow as a person. To trust that you are where you are meant to be as the journey unfolds. In my humble opinion, medicine is one of the highest forms of art (among other things), and I think you’d agree that we are fundamentally creative beings, thus it’s impossible for anything we do to not be a creative act. Blessings!✨
What a beautiful nerd Elizabeth is ! I could listen to her for hours, probably on any topics, Shakespearian or not. I love how she always looks in a bad mood. This is her way to hide her deep sensibility and her bleeding heart (as you said). Thank you for this wonderful moment spent with you two.
I think this all applies to why people stay in ANYTHING that isn’t good for them, especially bad romantic relationships. Always insightful, and it was so fun to have Elizabeth on.
@@Caroline_WinklerWhen you both talked about work life balance I immediately thought of the movie Eat Pray Love! In finding balance there will always be times of imbalance when we indulge in our passions! And that is ok! Maintaining perfect balance at all times is not what we should feel that life must be. It's not what the nature of life is!
Independent thought. I'm all for it. We have enough sheep in this world. Being persecuted for even questioning things, whether it be Shakespeare or religion or world leaders, is ridiculous. Bravo for your courage, Elizabeth.
ur videos help me so much. i work at the nautical/hawaiian themed national grocery store chain that shall not be named and hhonestly, im happier than ever! yes i have a degree and ***could*** be doing more but i love my silly little grocery store job. i make decent money and have healthcare and get to clock out at the end of the day and never bring my work home. i love the silly little tasks and cultivating the stories of the people that shop there. it bums me out a bit that my family thinks im underemployed but i can afford to live on my own, stacking organic blueberries by day and writing little stories by night.
I'm 54 and have recently returned to graduate school. If you want to try something else, darling, try something else. You can always return to work. Very few careers have so short and fragile a shelf life that you can't take time away. I spent more than three decades at my last job. It's not a waste, because I learned from it, but I don't need to stay in that place. It's not a waste to try other things, even if you do return.
Im exactly the same, i have an impressive career as a creative ahead of me but all I wanna do is live close to my parents (currently i live in a different country even and i miss them so much). Where they live there is no fancy design work...so im considering trying to be a kindergardener or a person working oín forestry, all v low paying unimpressive careers, but maybe thats okay.
One of the first things I learned about Shakespeare from my middle school English teacher was the arguments that somebody else may have written his plays and this was decades ago! Crazy to learn about the backlash Elizabeth received! I would have assumed at this point in time it was a common and open discussion! Now I'm even more excited to read her book.
Hi Caroline & Elizabeth, I have been a lifelong visual artist, who had other jobs and a frugal lifestyle throughout my working life (I'm retired from all that now). In terms of validation during those various jobs, I found out more than once, that performing in an exemplary way could bring the opposite of positive validation from those in charge. Those people were generally male, unhappy with their own situation, and found my competence threatening. There were times when I was sabotaged for performing well. Having one's own meaning, purpose, and self-motivation seems the best way to go.
Hi Gayle, Gosh, I relate so much to what you’ve said here 😪 I’m so jealous you’re out the other end of it. I’ve experienced such awful behaviour from males in positions of management over me. Can I ask, did you stay working with the people who treated you that way? Or did you leave? My problem is that I left, and I’m now stuck. I can’t ask them for references, I don’t want to agree to a potential new employer contacting these people. So I’m an unemployed professional in my 40’s, with no idea how to get past this block. I’d love to hear if you have any wisdom to share ❤
@@rosey_ie Hi Rosey, In the end, I didn't stay (in several different circumstances), but I will say most of these jobs were low paid, worker-type, hands-on positions: Bicycle Mechanic, Installation Crew Worker in an art museum. (On the side, I was always working on my own paintings at home and trying to get them into galleries and shows). But I also had some incidents in college art departments where I taught a bit on a temporary basis, and had really good results with the students. (I decided that university department politics were just too toxic to pursue in a serious way). ---When I quit the museum job, I registered with a couple of different temp agencies (this was in the late 1990's), and took some different assignments in bio-factories and office filing for awhile. (A Temp Agency might help you get back into the work force in something related to your actual field). Eventually, I moved to a different state & found another museum job on the janitorial crew --- more hands-on tasks, great co-workers, and good pay and benefits for that type of work. I stayed there until my retirement.
I love the term your sister said "narrative suspense" because that's something I am actually comfortable with for my career. I am graduating from college in 1 week and have no idea where I will end up and I'm happy about that. I know my worth and what I can offer a business so my options are wide open. I enjoy having the opportunity to choose from a variety of different fields instead of settling for a job that won't fit.
The way you and your sis stan each other 🥹 also how excited she got when you showed her your notes 🥹. Your content is such good vibes and legit getting the book I love spicy academia ☕️
It’s hard to make a choice about what to do for work. Sometimes you just have to pick and feel grateful if you at least don’t hate your job. Strive for better, do what you care about, find meaning, and realize it’s not always about the money. It’s also great if your work can make people think differently about things than they have previously, even if people don’t understand or like your approach or ideas at first.
Our 20 year old is struggling with this to a point where he’s been paralyzed to move forward and make a decision. We told him the reality is to find something you don’t hate. A job is a means to be able to do the things you really enjoy outside of work. He feels like he should have a passion for something, but does not. Who knows, maybe he’ll find his passion (and it may not be job related) as he grows and explores.
@@lkessler1 20-years-old is still very young, and it’s a difficult time where you have to figure out how to make a living to support yourself while maintaining some joy in life. With competence comes enjoyment. Overall, we all want to avoid struggling financially, but we all realize finding meaning in a job brings less happiness than finding meaning in the relationships we build.
I love how she said that in the grand scheme of things, what people think about us doesn't matter because in the end we're all gonna d!e so anything they think is irrelevant. Love this mindset! Really interesting video, thank you!
I enjoyed this video. It was wonderful seeing Elizabeth again. The interactions between the two of you are priceless! I love and admire the support you show toward one another. I ordered Elizabeth’s book for my son. He graduates Sunday as an English major.
Well, I am also spending time on my sofa when I can, but also I can imagine, that if all labour is being done by robots, I would have way more energy to do some gardening (with a bot), home improvement, learning, doing lots of physical activities (I would love skying and swimming). But majority of people have either no money, time or energy (or all three) to do these things, and chilling on the sofa is something I don't need money for and I feel too tired to do anything else anyway.
I love this conversation. I ended up being a lawyer (to get my parents' love and to obtain a sense of financial security - as an immigrant coming to Canada with absolutely no money - financial stability was very important); i want to add that you can do both - you can get into a career and then switch and be successful anyway :) i ended up leaving litigation and doing litigation support for Deliotte AND i am now teaching more and more yoga and painting watercolors :) books like the Artist's Way are so so helpful to discover your inner artist when you are stuck in an unfulfilling desk job. thank you for making this!!
I love that I can tell you both have such reverence, respect, and pride for each other. You are both so accomplished and intelligent and I can only imagine how much of a part your mutual support has played in that reality. Great video!
I have worked my entire adult life. The company I worked for went out of business a few years ago & for the 1st time didn’t have a full time job. I was able to stay home with my kids. And I realized I love the mom job the most. The only missing thing was $$$ 😅so I found a part time stay at home job. So now I just do insurance for seniors (and I love seniors), working for myself. Love. Love. Love. Don’t care what people think. I’m all about the baking & doing crafts & cleaning my house & gardening. It gives us enough to supplement our income but I get to spend these precious years with my littles. I only work for flower $$$ 😃 Happy.
I no longer hate my job since i went back to an old job that paid much less but offered an actual career path and is much more enjoyable but I love this video. I'm so glad this addresses external validation for work I feel like people don't realize just how much external validation gets wrapped up with the job that you do even when you don't want to admit it. For me it was hard to decide to leave the job I had because it made me so much money and I didn't want others around me to think I was stupid for leaving it, but in the end it was the best decision
Awesome and brilliant! Love the navigation quote. I wrote a non-fiction book because I wanted to be remembered for something while in a bad marriage. I learned so much about myself and ended up doing 3 books at once. No friend wanted to read it or give me feedback but that didn’t stop me. It didn’t feel like it came together until 75% done. I came up with my own process to make ornamental designs and I’m so proud of it. I threw off the comments of teachers at school and wrote from the heart, with excitement and passion. I highly recommend it for everyone.
Proud of you. One of the hardest things to do. I’m certain it will bring you change you’ve obviously been craving. Give it time, you know best what you need and you took action 👏👏
Omg I quit my job a few weeks ago. I had a mental break down and was hospitalized. My bf got me to quit and said that he'd support me through treatment, php and iop. Then he wants me to get a part time job for a year and then go back to full time. I was in sales and while I loved it, it was such a boys club with public dress downs and it was toxic. I'm very sensitive and extremely competitive and I couldn't handle the drama. I need to do something creative bc I am a creative person. I liked sales bc I am extremely outgoing. But im not going to lie, my boyfriend *never* asked this of me, but I've loved the domestic life I've taken up. I've been cleaning and tending to things I've always wanted to do like scrubbing the baseboards and cooking fun and experimental dinners. It's not taxing and my bf of 4 years is very appreciative and it takes up my free time when I'm not in therapy for 6 hours lol. Also it's been a huge relief handle domestic tasks for my bf right now bc my man is working from 8/9 am to 11pm/1am bc he is task lead for a huge project with a deadline where a bunch of people might get unnecessarily fired. My poor baby.
I've had many careers, transition is hard. Finding what your thing is, and learning the reality of the industry, not the dream of it, is so hard. One book that really helped me was What Color is Your Paracbute and doing the exercises in the book is key. It really helps you get to know yourself, what skills you most enjoy using, and how that fits in also with your sense of purpose and fulfillment. I think all young people should read it, do the exercises. It opened up options for me, rather than limit them.
It is nice that you and your sister (and your brother) are so close to you. I love it. Elizabeth is very smart and cool. I have always validated myself, rather than seeking it out from others. In having that confidence, I have found it has caused my co-workers and bosses to respect me all the more. I just left my job a few weeks ago in order to stay home to raise my next baby due in just a few weeks (which I did with my older children too). A lot of people have looked down on me for the years when I have been a stay-at-home mom but that's too bad. I may not get money, but I have seen how my children thrive because of it. I always put 100% into every job I have had in the past though. I have never hated a job, but I did have some bad bosses here and there (mainly really great bosses).
I love questioning and challenging the reality of people whether they be religious or academics. People place their entire identity into these things and often can’t handle questions that challenge their sense of self. Your sister is amazing! I can’t wait to read this book! 👏 ❤
My first job was an actress too and I ended up hating it as well because there was so much rejection but I felt like a failure because I cared too much about the external validation from others thinking I failed at what used to be my dream. I also tried writing and many people said I should pursue it but I never felt good enough because when I sent it in to publishers they didn't want to publish it. I also realized that I'm good at working with children they seem to like me and I enjoy working with kids but I thought others would judge me because the pay isn't that good. External validation makes life so much harder than it should be. Thank you for making this video. It was so inspiring! I have a new outlook on life now. I wish your sister good luck with her book! It sounds so interesting, I definitely want to read it when it comes out!
Wanting to feel confident, competent and contributing as we walk through life (as a toddler or a senior citizen) is a basic human trait. Making a living wage and getting societal validation while doing so is the tricky wicket. I admire and appreciate those that do jobs that are thankless and physically hard to do (garbage collection, etc.) and which are vitally essential to our lives to function. If I'm in a store on a Sunday or any day after 9PM, I thank the retail clerk for being there to allow me to have the convenience of shopping at inopportune times. We all want to feel appreciated in what we do to make a paycheck, even if it's a job we may not want to be doing at the moment.
I am so excited about this video and Elizabeth’s book. I will preorder now! It has me outraged that there are so many things we are not “allowed” to question without being viscously slandered and attacked. Even “conspiracy theorists” and “anti vaxers” should be allowed to question in a respectful manner. And these labels box people in and don’t give permission to question when we are curious to the validity of anything. We can question and we should. And all those harsh critics of Elizabeth’s first article, I am sure, never put in the work and research she did. I love this channel because well, Caroline. She is not afraid to give her opinion even when it’s not popular. 🥰 Cannot wait to read the book and join the conversation in the book club. It would be exciting to ask questions around the Bronte sisters too as there is so much mystery surrounding them as well.
This truly couldn't have come at any better time. I'm in the midst of trying to decide what to do with my life, or at least my life at the moment, and hearing Elizabeth talk about how much she wanted to be a writer despite so many people saying otherwise to her had me tearing up from how much I resonated with that (not being a writer so much as I feel the pressure to do something that would be safer in the long run despite the fact that I keep coming back to a completely different thing. ) Anyway, I will absolutely be revisiting this video many more times, it was just so good.
I love Elizabeth. This is my mantra: "Just do what you want to do. One day we'll all be dead." It's actually a Buddhist exercise, visualizing that you will die one day and keeping that in mind while living your life in the now. It's so great! I tell my kids this mantra sometimes, and yes it is morbid but it's also freeing, playful, funny, absurd, and did I say freeing? Another less confrontational mantra: I've told timid friends this since high school: "None of this will matter in five years/Will this even matter in five years?" The answer is NO and NO and NO
I loved this video! I'm a professional artist and it just resonated with me on all levels. I understand "it is not my job, it is my heart." I make paper fashion and sculptures and it is what I breathe. Do what makes your spirit dance. I am so looking forward to this book. I took two years of Shakespeare in college. Thank you for quality, real, vulnerable and fun content. Love it!! 💕
The book sounds incredibly interesting, and really does encapsulate what happens when people deify their idols. They'll be so attached to the _idea_ of their idol that they can't even be open to the reality of possibility. And once they deify their idols, they adopt that idea of the person into their own identity. To question their idol is to attack their idol which in turn is to attack their identity. They become so blinded by this attachment that they forgo human decency and respect in defense of this idea they hold so dear.
As interesting as her book does sound, I will give a little context. Part of the reason people push back so hard (which actually is a little in the description of the book given), is that it’s largely a classist argument without much evidence. No one questioned Shakespeare’s identity in England until over a hundred years later & each was an attempt to accredit his work to upper class individuals. The root of the questioning is that the son of someone from the merchant/ lower class could possibly be talented and learn to such an extent that he could make such good work. That’s what tends to get people riled up. Contemporaries of Shakespeare didn’t question his identity. It’s similar to the systematic attempt to undermine Alexandre Dumas’ work because of his race. Again, not saying that’s what Elizabeth herself is engaging in but that’s the root of a lot of these theories.
I absolutely LOVE how you two are so honest and supportive with each other but there is still the element of joy and laughter and the kidding with each other that siblings who truly love each other have between them. I had a twin brother who committed suicide a week before our 35th birthday and we had a relationship similar to the one you two share.....I miss him EVERY day !! Treasure each other and the gift of the meaningful bond that you have.
Damn Elizabeth is fricking brilliant. I so remember these struggles in my 20’s. I did go to law and did that for years but now I’m a designer. And mom. Be everything!
I am intensely and endlessly envious of the relationship you have with your siblings. Every time you feature one of them I try to live vicariously through you. Some of us are not so lucky... and I really hope you realize how fortunate you are to have siblings you are proud of and like to be around. I'm adopting you both as my big sisters, hope you don't mind! (Although I might be older than you. 😂) I'm an aspiring writer - I work in digital marketing and do a lot of copywriting, but I hope to be a novelist someday - and this was inspiring! I wanted to be a journalist but everybody discouraged me and I listened (although I eventually became a broadcast journalist for a short period of time). I'm a Leo, so I thrive on external validation. I'm trying to change this and this video made me feel like it might be possible. Thanks for the pep talk! I needed it. Also, I'm totally ordering this book and joining the book club! See you both there. ✌️
I love everything about this video! Two sisters being themselves, bringing out the best in each other, engaging in an epistemic conundrum...but most of all touching on that very touchy subject "validation"! We all want it, crave it, but the best feeling really does come from engrossing ourselves in something we love doing. That is something I am going to make sure to remind myself. Thank you!!!
Caroline how did you read my mind... thank you for this cathartic video. Just accepted my "dream job" and have been crying every week because I'm so unhappy and I'm so ashamed to admit I hate it
YES!! The perspective from the grave - this is how I've justified everything I've ever done, & I've never, until now, heard anyone else say the same! I say, "100 years from now, we'll all be dead & gone, so who'll care that you took the day off??!" OR - Nike - "JUST DO IT"
Loved watching you and Elizabeth together and the witnessing the love and support you show each other. As a PhD student writing about a controversial topic in a way that many scholars don't necessarily approve of, it means so much to hear you both talking about the weight of external validation and the need to take ourselves beyond its limiting effects. Thank you for sharing this!
Caroline, this post came at the right time for me. After months of being incredibly busy at work, running from one deadline to another, exhausting myself and having little time for life and family, I this week was the last drop. I don’t even know why I am doing this other than salary. There’s no validation anymore. I know I need to turn the page and preserve my health and soul.
I never knew what I wanted to do. 33 years in and it's a good job but I don't love it. I love the people I work with and have made some great friendships. The one thing I do love about my job is I leave it at work when I'm done for the day!
Awesome sisters! you know how visiting kindergarten (if you ever been as an adult visitor), you start talking about anything at all.. Let' say you say: "my sister is a wonderful person and she is a writer," there will inevitably be a kid who'd yell out "I have a sister too! And she is smart! and I love her!" This is what I feel like after watching you two. Thank you for sharing your ideas about work-life-work and what work means for different people. Always a pleasure to watch your video's, Caroline.
Caroline, you and your sister are a true treasure, and this video could not come out at a better time. From a 20 year old, thank you both sincerely for sharing your wisdoms with the world. 💕 Y'all are like my role models
Caroline, I love how you are looking at your sister with such love and admiration. I wish I had sisterly love like this, watching the two of you together look so happy and uplift each other is so beautiful. All the best for you guys
Listening to the two of you and just you alone I feel so motivated! You two are a couple of the most intelligent folks I've seen on TH-cam as of late! Thank you both for the inspiration! My heart secretly bleeds for the two of you lol!
I really enjoyed hearing you talk about this. My personal journey has led me to recognize similar patterns. God has really been making this a theme with many friends, family, or people I've ministered to as of late...He's definitely speaking to me personally about this concept and how He views my humanity. That He loves and sacrificed for my humanity. That perfectionism isnt His desire for me, and shouldnt be my goal. It's maturity that is the goal with Him. Also, Knowing Him, NOT just knowing about Him or "doing" for Him. There have been these moments in my life where I have learned to recognize where I am trying to control the uncontrolable. I begin to hear Him whisper to me. "You've become effected, and no longer affective in this area. I dont want that for you." Thankfully, I know He loves me, and I remember that my relationship with Him has been established on what He did for me- knowing that my humanity is valuable to Him. I have learned to appreciate this and rest in the fact that He's making me stronger in the midst of my mistakes. That has been invaluable for me. Thank you for your vulnerability. Blessings on you and your HOME.
This whole premise bothers me. It's completely okay to accept a job or promotion only for the money. After all, that is what you are there for... it doesn't mean it is a bad decision inherently. And it doesn't mean it will make you miserable. Sure, it would be nice if your career path and finances were on a perfect upward path in lock step with each other. But that's not typical and don't beat yourself up for making the best decision for yourself at the time.
This is a VERY IMPORTANT conversation. I've made some very bad decisions in my life because I feared the external validation --- I didn't know what it was and this is it! Imagine only chosing certain jobs and even locations based on fear or to avoid the verbal disapproval I knew was coming.
You girls are a mix of sweet & salty and I’m loving it! I’m excited for this book and book club. Congratulations! I love the passion between these projects.
Very good conversations here, gals; love you and your sister. Re the attacks on her after she published her analysis of a possibility, a premise, just an ANALYSIS....I think what it is, is that society as a whole, and referring here to the western society, finds it's own home in these publicly accepted beliefs; agreeing on historical truths is part of a 'home', idea of safety, equilibrium for society at large (and western society does have it's own personality, character, the public persona that we all are form this and is based on these beliefs); when you question these, that part of some people become so afraid of chaos, that they defend the status quo with utmost voracity. And it kind of makes sense... Also love how you find so much love and support in each other in hard times; that is beautiful. omg I *will* stop writing.
Caroline I’m at a point in my life where I’m 20, I feel like I need to know exactly where I’m going. I’m a full time waitress, considering being an air hostess as a career, & not in an form of education. My dream is to be a dancer, I know I can do it, but something inside of me is stopping me from going to dance classes and getting myself out there. I have danced since I was 3 years old. But this video has helped me realise to just GO for it. 20 is NOT too late at all. I have felt quite down for some time about it. But you and your sister are the role models I can now take advice from. Thank you for dropping this video. Hopefully next time I’m watching I will of been to my first dance class in years. Lots of love. 😌💛💛
Go to class, you're not too old. Whats that Martha Graham quote? Technique doesnt make great dancers , passion does. Age doesnt stop you either, in fact it informs your dance with all that life you have lived. Do it, go for it ❤
Pre-ordered the book. I'm so excited to read it! This conversation really hit home for me. The glaringly obvious but tormentingly difficult to apply truth that just because you can do it doesn't mean you should do it. Wow! Being good at something doesn't make it the something, the only thing, you should be doing. I fell into tech at 19 and finally became a published author at 51. So glad I did. But, like Elizabeth, I still want to know what kind of writer I can be. Or rather, all the kinds of writers I can be / books I can create. I'm itching to explore that more. Letting go of serious external validation and conditioning will be critical for me to realize those goals. Caroline, you always strip things back to a comfortable, actionable, truth. Love it! And I love the sibling support (and teasing)!
I was a narrative illustrator for many years and got a lot of external validation from it, and I quit for similar reasons: that what I was doing wasn't giving me joy the way it gave other people joy. I'm working on my own project now, but doing it very slowly. I constantly struggle with feeling like now I'm a "basic mom" or boring or that I'm mediocre because I don't do this BIG THING that got me a lot of raised eyebrows and interest in the past. But I'm happier now. It's tough for sure. Love hearing you two talk about this, it genuinely helps.
I’m in the UK 🇬🇧 and unfortunately Amazon aren’t releasing your book until June 8th Elizabeth, so I doubt I’ll have read it by the ti,e you do your book club. Looking forward to reading it and I’m sure it’ll sell very well here in the UK.
watching your relationship is lovely. my sisters are super toxic and i had to separate myself from them. the book sounds right up my alley. i can't wait till it's made into an audiobook. i'll try to read it before that but listening to a book like this while wandering around the world is just like this wonderful secret you're holding that nobody else has just yet. i love that you're sharing the things you found despite it being so taboo for literally no reason.
I love that Elizabeth tackled this subject! Especially at a time in history when we scuttle away from questioning popular beliefs. We talk about history and science as if what we currently understand is fact. The fact is, we don’t know what we don’t know! We need more Elizabeth’s in this world who are not afraid to question the status quo!💪🏻
At 23, post grad and applying for jobs with talk of a recession looming, these career videos are invaluable to me. I have no idea what to do career wise but seeing someone so successful who had a similar challenge at my age helps me to know that everything will work out. I’m grabbing the book, excited to join the book club.
I so enjoyed this conversation. I was fascinated by the Shakespeare authorship question after watching a documentary about it years ago, and I remember one of my professors being very critical/dismissive/defensive about it.
DID NOT KNOW THAT ATLANTIC ARTICLE WAS WRITTEN BY YOUR SISTER ! Wow you and your family are all next level creative thinkers. Such a huge fan of this video and all your vids, for realll xxoo
Six minutes in and I’m reminded of one of my favorite quotes: “You won’t be remembered by what people say about you; you will be remembered by what you do.” ❤ icons!
Once again, you’ve posted a video that speaks to me, more than I can say in a comment box. Afrer nearly 33 years as a phlebotomist and ancillary tech, I was terminated and returned to graduate school. My world is upside down right now, and I have to/get to decide what i want to pursue in the workplace after I get my degree. I'm also a self-published author of romance novels (try loving that genre while attending a women's college) and appreciate Elizabeth's willingness to move forward in the face of adversity. If what you're writing doesn’t provoke discussion, thought, commentary, emotions, why even bother, right? The people who hang their hats on the persona of Shakespeare might try to remember the work is unchanged by this, if it comforts them. The work is the eternal, that which remains beyond the grave. I am waiting impatiently for my copy of Elizabeth's book to arrive, as I preordered the first time you mentioned it. Can't wait!
Caroline, this video could not have been more timely for me! I am a healthcare professional, and over the past few years have found myself losing interest and feeling like I’ve reached a plateau in my career. I’ve recently been offered a position as a clinical instructor at a post-secondary institution and feel a renewed passion for my career… I feel alive with possibility again! It’s pushed me to upgrade my education in order to be able to teach theory classes as well… from there I feel the possibilities are endless! Thanks for the great content, yet again. 🥰
Kaitlin!! This is such a tough position AND it’s so relatable. Which is why I don’t love when people say “just follow your heart” …like, we all have logistical things we have to fund in life. “Passion” is not always realistic in most jobs, and not helpful most of the time. So you’re not alone! But my heart does break to hear you’re in a job you hate, bc I know that very well. I’m no career counselor and I don’t know you’re position, but some of the things that helped me when I was in that position were to: - ask about decreased hours (according the ACA you are owed health iMaura ge so long as you work 30hr in most jobs) - I worked on lowering my hours at a job that made it possible. And spent that extra “free” time to cultivate my next step out. Wherever that was putting together resumes, learning a new skill, researching for a business etc - have lots of conversations with family and friends - and friends of friends! People love to talk about their jobs and they most often want to help you. Make it known that you’re trying to find a better step for yourself, and eventually you may find someone who knows about an opportunity. Most job openings are never even posted online, they’re filled by someone’s referral. So this can be huge!! Sending a big hug to you. I hope you get yourself to a more tolerable place that still works for the reality of your life!
I don’t have a sister (just 4 brothers ha) and this made me tear up. Your support and banter is everything. Absolutely loved hearing Elizabeth talk about her book too- her face lights up . I agree about the obsessiveness being par for the course for a lot of passion projects. As a creative entrepreneur Sometimes I wish I could get my brain to turn off and out of ‘work mode’ but if that’s the price I pay for doing work I love I’m cool with it. I want my kids to see me building something amazing. All this said, I work 10-20 hrs/wk so I guess I have really good work life balance by many many standards. Loved loved loved this video.
I studied English Literature and didn’t pursue writing (yet). This has been so fascinating to hear your sister’s journey and perspectives. I just love the Shakespeare debate, and your sister! ❤️ I’ve always felt a kinship with your sister, and hearing about her experience in school, the desire for validation from teachers, etc…soooo relatable. Thank you both for sharing! True to god excited to read her book!!!!! 😂❤
"External Validation," 🙌Wow! Instantly resonated. Thanks for covering it.🙏 I love your sisterly support, btw! As a Tudor/Elizabethethan era enthusiast I shall also support Liz and pick up this "heretical" book! Keep up those good vibes ladies. Y'all inspire me.🎉🥂
You guys are the cutest sisters, and it warms my heart that you each have this support system ❤ love these honest and therapeutic discussions P.S. I can't believe I just pre-ordered Elizabeth's book! I read her article a while ago and she's a brilliant writer.
Elizabeth reminds me of my favorite quote: "To doubt everything or to believe anything are two equally convenient solutions; both dispense with the necessity of reflection." Both she and Caroline embody this so well, I love their self-reflections and outward examinations.
Well this is great! I had no idea I was going to watch Shakespeare Authorship content when I subscribed to your Channel! It’s like best of both worlds! Congrats to Elizabeth for this great accomplishment! And thank you Caroline for the shameless promotion haha, just pre-ordered the audiobook! Thanks❤
Good for Elizabeth for questioning academia. I was the same straight A student and loved my teachers, I even became a teacher. They taught us to question, but when you find something to question it’s amazing how sometimes they shut down and deny you the ability to be curious. Cannot wait to read your book!
I was waiting for Caroline’s next video but I had no idea the subject would coincide so well with my current state of questioning. Such perfect timing! Just pre-ordered Elizabeth’s book because HOW COULD I NOT after such an epic pitch 😅
I soooo needed this! It completely resonates with me. Just recently learned to not only not give a f*ck about outside validation but also be brave enough to go against the people whose validation I craved. I’ve pre ordered the audible, and will definitely order the book when it comes out in Europe in June. Thank you!!! Both of you are fricking amazing!
Wow! Just hearing Elizabeth say “remember they’re going to be dead one day” 😂😂😂 instantly helped me with my issue of worrying about what people think. Thanks Elizabeth ❤❤❤
"I was viciously attacked for this article..... so I wrote an entire book about it" -Elizabeth being an icon
❤️❤️ this is my sister
Boss attitude. How you like me now? Oh just you wait, I'm only getting started!!!!
Love it ❤
❤️❤️❤️
Such a power move
“The trick is to remember, everyone’s going to be dead” 5:32 best advice 😂
I like to believe she looks herself in the mirror every morning and repeats this
Quality one liner there. True, completely unexpected, and slightly offensive.
It felt good to laugh.
😂😂😂 That was the BEST advice I have EVER heard!! LOVE it! You ladies kick ass!💜
Haha that made me laugh so hard. My trick was always to picture how small me and my problems are compared to how big the ocean or the galaxy is...but this is way better. 😂😂
I can’t help it. I love this woman’s channel. I’m a dude and not her target audience but her humor, presentation, and creativity are top notch. And the topics she picks sometimes feel like she’s in my head.
Keep doing you Caroline! And thank you!
All are welcome here my friend 🙏🏻
completely honored to hear it, so glad it resonates 🙂
Same here she is hilarious and super intelligent
I recently listened to her excellent advice about dating, and as an attorney for almost 30 years I realized that when I meet with new client prospects that it is truly a first date, and I have taken heed of her thoughts on reducing then tension, such as she assumes that the other person has already dumped her---and that takes all of her anxiety away. Wow! She is prescient.
People always ask "whats your dream job?"
As a child i thought "who dreams of working?" I'm still wondering the same thing haha 😂
Hahahah
Wise beyond your years.
My dream job would be running a dog hotel. Minimal interactions with people and my customers all being dogs. Enjoying their company until they leave again, playing with them in my big yard / garden etc.. 😂❤️ Unfortunately it's a lot of work to be there full time so I'm waiting for the right husband to envision the same life as me and do it together.
I'm a dog groomer..... Dream job😂
😂
Elizabeth coming on the channel is a VIBE. I can't figure out how she is constantly frowning in such a loving and supportive way. I want that look on my face.
Hahahah if she could patent a facial expression…
Yes, the focus, the concentration. Nothing else is on the table, just the topic at hand and the sister she clearly loves, respects, and enjoys. To be an object of interest in this person's life and mind is a glorious gift.
@@lisamckay5058 Wow, beautifully said!
Your username is fantastic
Because it's okay if she calls her a kook.
As a library professional, listening to Elizabeth speak about her book/Shakespeare/writing in general… swoon. People who love reading/literature just enter into this weird zone when they speak about books and when they do, they become the most beautiful version of themselves. It was just beautiful to see. It was so nice seeing you Caroline gushing about your sister. Love it. Will be picking up this book asap. Thanks for the video girls 🥰
I really love this. Esp the part about being the most beautiful version of yourself when you’re doing something you love - or just being very true to yourself. It’s a cliche for a reason. And it’s so meaningful when you get to see the people you love find that thing
Ditto. And amen.
Sylvia Plath writes about that idea of “all the lives you could live” in the Bell Jar. Like sitting under a fig tree and looking up at all the beautiful tasty options, and as you sit around and try to decide, they all shrivel up and fall. Kinda dark, but relevant.
whoaaa my goodness. I feel like that describes my everyday ADHD life...
@@drebugsita yes when she said that line it made me instantly think of ADHD. I do suspect that Caroline is "one of us" and if she is then her sister might be too.
Love that book. I’d say that’s one of my life’s major struggles. So I just sit around and watch the figs shrivel up and die as the years go by..
Made me think of that too!
@@_essleSince I was young I was concerned that if I read Sylvia Plath I'd relate too much, given my tendency towards depression. But now I'm thinking I have the bandwidth (thanks to therapy and meds)
As a mom of five young kids, I can only hope they’re this supportive and close knit as they get older ♥️
Okay so literally seconds before I clicked on this video, I was having a strong crying session because I was second guessing my decision to quit my stable job with the highest income I had earned to date, but also burnt me out and gave me anxiety attacks every day to the point of causing my physical health to plummet. I was crying because after 3 months, I’ve yet to land a job I care enough about and struggling to pay my bills. This video gave me a break from the crying and confirmed I made the right decision. I was feeling so low and you and your sister reminded me, at the perfect time, that it’s okay to live in the unknown and pursue a passion project that may redefine what work-life balance looks like. It’s okay to loose sleep over something you love. Thank you for saving me from what was going to be a pretty unpleasant day. ❤
i'm so hopeful you found your "dream job."
i was in a similar position once early in my career. i did wonder "what if" sometimes... but now that i'm retired & have the vantage point of seeing my entire career & im so, so glad i left that trajectory.
How are you doing?
I always think, "we're all gonna die, so it's ok" after I have a weird or embarrassing interaction. It's freeing
OMG. Yeah, everything is temporary compared to death. It's dark and it almost shades a little toward suicide ideation.
Though not as uplifting as "tha haterz gon' die some day," I tend to think about the myth of rock bottom. It can ALWAYS get worse; it could have been worse. Let's not help it.
Same and it has nothing to do with suicidal ideation like the other comment says. It's just a fact.
I thought I was the only one who used my inevitable death for comfort! 😂 I am always thinking and saying, "It will work out...and if it doesn't, I only have about 30 years left on the planet." This statement actually brings my anxiety level down and allows me to take risks.
Watching this made me realize that I want to be consumed by something. I want to wake up every day driven by mad desire to see an idea or project through. That to me is the definition of passion, a life’s purpose. To know that what you’re doing is something your soul needs.
Caroline talking about wanting to something so bad she felt like she would combust made me realize I’ve never felt that way about anything.
Try Jesus. Not a joke. 🤷
She was reading in the pool; in the pool, not in the chair by the pool. I bet her toes were pruney. The people that can obsessively pursue probably feel like it is on the fringe of healthy. The stakes for failure are very high when you invest so much of yourself into something.
Curly said that the secret of life is one thing, just one thing. It's up to you to figure out what that one thing is. 😉
I’ve never felt that way about any one thing before either, and I’m 55. I’ve come to learn and accept that that’s okay. I have a lot of different interests and pursue many different things. For me, that is my passion.
@@Troubleshooter-2.0 "The stakes for failure are very high when you invest so much of yourself into something." Exactly.... I think my anxiety over failing has always prevented me from getting too deep into anything (other than, finally, a relationship). It's an interesting thought, and I've had a fulfilling career so far, despite that.
A few things:
1. I don't comment on TH-cam videos, like, ever, but I felt compelled after watching this one.
2. Both Caroline and Elizabeth's intelligence, thoughtfulness, and wit are stunning, and I love how you play off each other.
3. Super looking forward to reading the book.
4. Y'all are sister goals, and it's a beautiful thing to see.
Made me smile. Thanks for the sweet words this morning ❤
Wholeheartedly agree! ❤
Your sister is so pointedly respectful of you in your medium, it's delightful to see you both in such deep conversational chatting
As an almost-27 year old recovering people pleaser, I still struggle to separate my desires for what I want my life to look like from the expectations of people around me to do more or better things. And, I am paralyzed by the fear of choosing the wrong path and closing the wrong door. What Elizabeth said about law school is exactly how I've felt every year since graduating college, and it was weirdly validating to hear her say that she still sometimes thinks about what her life may have been if she'd chosen that route. It's wonderful to hear this conversation between two successful women who have made hard decisions to pursue the path that feels most authentic to them. Thank you, Caroline. I know I'm not the only one, but your channel feels tailor-made for me
SAME
I don’t regret not going to law school and live a life full of billable moments. Instead I saved myself from being in debt and then working myself to death. My career path was very successful where I had more control over my life and was a high earner…after almost 10 years of working, I quit to become a stay at home mom to 3 kids. It has been gratifying! I have helped my husband to be become highly successful in a very demanding career and we work together as a team. Our kids are grown and now I get to pursue my passions! We are now working toward retirement and living a fulfilling life!
Elizabeth - Similar to "there is no such thing as bad publicity" there is no such thing as a bad reaction to art or literature. Something this thought provoking should be celebrated for having garnered such intense and passionate feedback. An artist or author's worst nightmare has got to be no reaction to what you have created. Poking the public and getting them to say what they really think - congrats!
only 4 minutes into the video but i have to say-y’all (your carriage of self, careers, wisdom, connection) makes me so excited to live my life. i am so inspired by you both, and how i can envision myself living the way that you do, courageously. thank you for sharing
The best feedback I could read❤ thank u for sharing this with me
Ahhhh sis needs to do an audible version of the book!!! Her paragraph left us all on a cliff ❤
There is an audio book!! I’ll get the details and circle back with another comment
Audiobook!
www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/198217126X/ref=nodl_?tag=simonsayscom&dplnkId=15e2bc44-eabe-4071-9590-29a2b2117a04
Thank you, I found it on audible ❤️
@@Caroline_Winkler yes omg i can read it sooner!
Yayyy!! I can only consume words through my ear holes 😂🎉
Liz is a goddamn gem. Her mind is just chefs kiss
Caroline, this is my favorite TH-cam channel! You are so entertaining, but more than that, your content is meaningful and so so real.
I am a designer; interiors and graphics, with an art background. I like to write as well. We are all born artists but some of us get convinced otherwise. Unlike other paths such as medicine and law, the path of an artist is made by the artist themselves, one step at a time.
Our life is the finished piece. 🙏🏼
Hope you know how meaningful it was to read this ❤ and so true about the unpaved paths. A lot of the terror comes from that lack of certainty, but also so much of the reward
Everyone’s life is the finished piece, made one step at a time. I’m an artist who went into medicine, and I just want to say, that there is nothing guaranteed, easy, paved, or uncreative about this path. In every aspect of my life I’ve bridged seemingly disparate worlds, so I speak from deep experience being on both sides.
The amount of sleepless nights. Being “possessed,” consumed, driven by endless curiosity about the inner workings of the human body-the sheer complexity is often beyond fathomable-and how to identify, diagnose, and create a treatment plan for each individual, case by case, in spite of that complexity. The crippling anxiety about not knowing how your exams, applications, years and years upon years of schooling will go. (Things can and WILL TRY TO derail you, every day). Constantly brainstorming about new strategies to implement in your studying & forging discipline in every aspect of your life to support reaching your goals is nothing short of a maximally and holistically creative endeavor. Not to mention juggling other responsibilities and dealing with unforeseen events every step of the way. I lost 4 family members in the span of 9 months and had my entire life uprooted and my study went on, my work, my life went on. It was forever changed, and needless to say, so was I by it. Months after my father’s funeral I was confronted with human cadavers, I spent 1.5 years working with them, even witnessed 3 autopsies being performed, when I was still freshly grieving. Things which many people simply don’t have the stomach for. You overcome obstacles every day of your life, every breath you take.
An artist needs the same faith, discipline, dedication, & drive to be able to produce and pull off their oeuvres.
So my long-winded point is, whatever path you choose in this life: it still depends on you, every step of the way, on your dedication & willingness to evolve & grow as a person. To trust that you are where you are meant to be as the journey unfolds. In my humble opinion, medicine is one of the highest forms of art (among other things), and I think you’d agree that we are fundamentally creative beings, thus it’s impossible for anything we do to not be a creative act. Blessings!✨
What a beautiful nerd Elizabeth is ! I could listen to her for hours, probably on any topics, Shakespearian or not. I love how she always looks in a bad mood. This is her way to hide her deep sensibility and her bleeding heart (as you said). Thank you for this wonderful moment spent with you two.
I don’t think she looks in a bad mood. That’s interesting.
I think this all applies to why people stay in ANYTHING that isn’t good for them, especially bad romantic relationships. Always insightful, and it was so fun to have Elizabeth on.
100%. Kept me in so many wrong relationships
@@Caroline_WinklerWhen you both talked about work life balance I immediately thought of the movie Eat Pray Love! In finding balance there will always be times of imbalance when we indulge in our passions! And that is ok! Maintaining perfect balance at all times is not what we should feel that life must be. It's not what the nature of life is!
Independent thought. I'm all for it. We have enough sheep in this world. Being persecuted for even questioning things, whether it be Shakespeare or religion or world leaders, is ridiculous. Bravo for your courage, Elizabeth.
ur videos help me so much. i work at the nautical/hawaiian themed national grocery store chain that shall not be named and hhonestly, im happier than ever! yes i have a degree and ***could*** be doing more but i love my silly little grocery store job. i make decent money and have healthcare and get to clock out at the end of the day and never bring my work home. i love the silly little tasks and cultivating the stories of the people that shop there. it bums me out a bit that my family thinks im underemployed but i can afford to live on my own, stacking organic blueberries by day and writing little stories by night.
As a 27 year old who is questioning the career I have chosen, this video has come at the perfect time. Thank you 💕
I'm 54 and have recently returned to graduate school. If you want to try something else, darling, try something else. You can always return to work. Very few careers have so short and fragile a shelf life that you can't take time away. I spent more than three decades at my last job. It's not a waste, because I learned from it, but I don't need to stay in that place. It's not a waste to try other things, even if you do return.
@@lisamckay5058 I love this! I’m 55, and the attitude of never too old to learn or do something different is fantastic!
@vickyb9918 thank you! As long as we're living, we should live, shouldn't we?
@@lisamckay5058 100%
Im exactly the same, i have an impressive career as a creative ahead of me but all I wanna do is live close to my parents (currently i live in a different country even and i miss them so much). Where they live there is no fancy design work...so im considering trying to be a kindergardener or a person working oín forestry, all v low paying unimpressive careers, but maybe thats okay.
One of the first things I learned about Shakespeare from my middle school English teacher was the arguments that somebody else may have written his plays and this was decades ago! Crazy to learn about the backlash Elizabeth received! I would have assumed at this point in time it was a common and open discussion! Now I'm even more excited to read her book.
That goes to show you how those discussions are squashed. Happens everyday.
"We're always a little bit strangers to ourselves" - Elizabeth Winkler
I don’t have a sister, but if I did…this is the vibe I’d want. They are rowing their boat in the same direction. I love it.
Hi Caroline & Elizabeth, I have been a lifelong visual artist, who had other jobs and a frugal lifestyle throughout my working life (I'm retired from all that now). In terms of validation during those various jobs, I found out more than once, that performing in an exemplary way could bring the opposite of positive validation from those in charge. Those people were generally male, unhappy with their own situation, and found my competence threatening. There were times when I was sabotaged for performing well. Having one's own meaning, purpose, and self-motivation seems the best way to go.
Hi Gayle,
Gosh, I relate so much to what you’ve said here 😪
I’m so jealous you’re out the other end of it. I’ve experienced such awful behaviour from males in positions of management over me. Can I ask, did you stay working with the people who treated you that way? Or did you leave? My problem is that I left, and I’m now stuck. I can’t ask them for references, I don’t want to agree to a potential new employer contacting these people. So I’m an unemployed professional in my 40’s, with no idea how to get past this block. I’d love to hear if you have any wisdom to share ❤
@@rosey_ie Hi Rosey,
In the end, I didn't stay (in several different circumstances), but I will say most of these jobs were low paid, worker-type, hands-on positions: Bicycle Mechanic, Installation Crew Worker in an art museum. (On the side, I was always working on my own paintings at home and trying to get them into galleries and shows). But I also had some incidents in college art departments where I taught a bit on a temporary basis, and had really good results with the students. (I decided that university department politics were just too toxic to pursue in a serious way). ---When I quit the museum job, I registered with a couple of different temp agencies (this was in the late 1990's), and took some different assignments in bio-factories and office filing for awhile. (A Temp Agency might help you get back into the work force in something related to your actual field). Eventually, I moved to a different state & found another museum job on the janitorial crew --- more hands-on tasks, great co-workers, and good pay and benefits for that type of work. I stayed there until my retirement.
@@gaylecole-sm4sr Thanks so much for your thoughtful response, Gayle - I really appreciate it 🙌🏻
I love the term your sister said "narrative suspense" because that's something I am actually comfortable with for my career. I am graduating from college in 1 week and have no idea where I will end up and I'm happy about that. I know my worth and what I can offer a business so my options are wide open. I enjoy having the opportunity to choose from a variety of different fields instead of settling for a job that won't fit.
The way you and your sis stan each other 🥹 also how excited she got when you showed her your notes 🥹. Your content is such good vibes and legit getting the book I love spicy academia ☕️
Spicy academia!!!! Oh god I wish this was a real lit genre. WHY ISNT IT
It’s hard to make a choice about what to do for work. Sometimes you just have to pick and feel grateful if you at least don’t hate your job. Strive for better, do what you care about, find meaning, and realize it’s not always about the money. It’s also great if your work can make people think differently about things than they have previously, even if people don’t understand or like your approach or ideas at first.
So well said. ❤️
Our 20 year old is struggling with this to a point where he’s been paralyzed to move forward and make a decision. We told him the reality is to find something you don’t hate. A job is a means to be able to do the things you really enjoy outside of work. He feels like he should have a passion for something, but does not. Who knows, maybe he’ll find his passion (and it may not be job related) as he grows and explores.
@@lkessler1 20-years-old is still very young, and it’s a difficult time where you have to figure out how to make a living to support yourself while maintaining some joy in life. With competence comes enjoyment. Overall, we all want to avoid struggling financially, but we all realize finding meaning in a job brings less happiness than finding meaning in the relationships we build.
I love how she said that in the grand scheme of things, what people think about us doesn't matter because in the end we're all gonna d!e so anything they think is irrelevant. Love this mindset! Really interesting video, thank you!
Omg! I was just hoping Elizabeth would make another appearance! I just love her commentary!
I’m certain she’ll be back ❤️
I enjoyed this video. It was wonderful seeing Elizabeth again. The interactions between the two of you are priceless! I love and admire the support you show toward one another. I ordered Elizabeth’s book for my son. He graduates Sunday as an English major.
your sister's reaction when she saw all the notes you took on the book is so sweet
I'll be honest with you, I just hate working... I just wanna chill on my sofa all day erry day
Honestly this is the video I’d like to make 👆we don’t crave labor
Well, I am also spending time on my sofa when I can, but also I can imagine, that if all labour is being done by robots, I would have way more energy to do some gardening (with a bot), home improvement, learning, doing lots of physical activities (I would love skying and swimming). But majority of people have either no money, time or energy (or all three) to do these things, and chilling on the sofa is something I don't need money for and I feel too tired to do anything else anyway.
LEZZZZZZZ BE HONESTTTTTT!!!!😂
Facts!! Me too 😂😂😂
@Caroline_Winkler please make this video so I can show it to my husband who works 60 hour weeks 🥴
I love this conversation. I ended up being a lawyer (to get my parents' love and to obtain a sense of financial security - as an immigrant coming to Canada with absolutely no money - financial stability was very important); i want to add that you can do both - you can get into a career and then switch and be successful anyway :) i ended up leaving litigation and doing litigation support for Deliotte AND i am now teaching more and more yoga and painting watercolors :) books like the Artist's Way are so so helpful to discover your inner artist when you are stuck in an unfulfilling desk job. thank you for making this!!
I love that I can tell you both have such reverence, respect, and pride for each other. You are both so accomplished and intelligent and I can only imagine how much of a part your mutual support has played in that reality. Great video!
I have worked my entire adult life. The company I worked for went out of business a few years ago & for the 1st time didn’t have a full time job. I was able to stay home with my kids. And I realized I love the mom job the most. The only missing thing was $$$ 😅so I found a part time stay at home job. So now I just do insurance for seniors (and I love seniors), working for myself. Love. Love. Love. Don’t care what people think. I’m all about the baking & doing crafts & cleaning my house & gardening. It gives us enough to supplement our income but I get to spend these precious years with my littles. I only work for flower $$$ 😃 Happy.
I no longer hate my job since i went back to an old job that paid much less but offered an actual career path and is much more enjoyable but I love this video. I'm so glad this addresses external validation for work I feel like people don't realize just how much external validation gets wrapped up with the job that you do even when you don't want to admit it. For me it was hard to decide to leave the job I had because it made me so much money and I didn't want others around me to think I was stupid for leaving it, but in the end it was the best decision
Awesome and brilliant! Love the navigation quote. I wrote a non-fiction book because I wanted to be remembered for something while in a bad marriage. I learned so much about myself and ended up doing 3 books at once. No friend wanted to read it or give me feedback but that didn’t stop me. It didn’t feel like it came together until 75% done. I came up with my own process to make ornamental designs and I’m so proud of it. I threw off the comments of teachers at school and wrote from the heart, with excitement and passion. I highly recommend it for everyone.
I quit my job on Wednesday. I can’t watch this. Still spiraling. Will come back soon and catch up 😉
Proud of you. One of the hardest things to do. I’m certain it will bring you change you’ve obviously been craving. Give it time, you know best what you need and you took action 👏👏
Omg I quit my job a few weeks ago. I had a mental break down and was hospitalized. My bf got me to quit and said that he'd support me through treatment, php and iop. Then he wants me to get a part time job for a year and then go back to full time.
I was in sales and while I loved it, it was such a boys club with public dress downs and it was toxic. I'm very sensitive and extremely competitive and I couldn't handle the drama.
I need to do something creative bc I am a creative person. I liked sales bc I am extremely outgoing.
But im not going to lie, my boyfriend *never* asked this of me, but I've loved the domestic life I've taken up. I've been cleaning and tending to things I've always wanted to do like scrubbing the baseboards and cooking fun and experimental dinners. It's not taxing and my bf of 4 years is very appreciative and it takes up my free time when I'm not in therapy for 6 hours lol. Also it's been a huge relief handle domestic tasks for my bf right now bc my man is working from 8/9 am to 11pm/1am bc he is task lead for a huge project with a deadline where a bunch of people might get unnecessarily fired. My poor baby.
I've had many careers, transition is hard. Finding what your thing is, and learning the reality of the industry, not the dream of it, is so hard. One book that really helped me was What Color is Your Paracbute and doing the exercises in the book is key. It really helps you get to know yourself, what skills you most enjoy using, and how that fits in also with your sense of purpose and fulfillment. I think all young people should read it, do the exercises. It opened up options for me, rather than limit them.
It is nice that you and your sister (and your brother) are so close to you. I love it. Elizabeth is very smart and cool.
I have always validated myself, rather than seeking it out from others. In having that confidence, I have found it has caused my co-workers and bosses to respect me all the more.
I just left my job a few weeks ago in order to stay home to raise my next baby due in just a few weeks (which I did with my older children too). A lot of people have looked down on me for the years when I have been a stay-at-home mom but that's too bad. I may not get money, but I have seen how my children thrive because of it. I always put 100% into every job I have had in the past though. I have never hated a job, but I did have some bad bosses here and there (mainly really great bosses).
I love this so much because it's literally giving "proud little sister" vibes and its just the most wholesome thing ever ❤
I’ve never given much of a shit about Shakespeare but I have never wanted to read a book so badly in my life. Your sister is dope as heck
I love questioning and challenging the reality of people whether they be religious or academics. People place their entire identity into these things and often can’t handle questions that challenge their sense of self. Your sister is amazing! I can’t wait to read this book! 👏 ❤
My first job was an actress too and I ended up hating it as well because there was so much rejection but I felt like a failure because I cared too much about the external validation from others thinking I failed at what used to be my dream. I also tried writing and many people said I should pursue it but I never felt good enough because when I sent it in to publishers they didn't want to publish it. I also realized that I'm good at working with children they seem to like me and I enjoy working with kids but I thought others would judge me because the pay isn't that good. External validation makes life so much harder than it should be. Thank you for making this video. It was so inspiring! I have a new outlook on life now. I wish your sister good luck with her book! It sounds so interesting, I definitely want to read it when it comes out!
When Elizabeth was talking about Shakespeare, I got chills. I love watching people talk about what they love
Wanting to feel confident, competent and contributing as we walk through life (as a toddler or a senior citizen) is a basic human trait. Making a living wage and getting societal validation while doing so is the tricky wicket. I admire and appreciate those that do jobs that are thankless and physically hard to do (garbage collection, etc.) and which are vitally essential to our lives to function. If I'm in a store on a Sunday or any day after 9PM, I thank the retail clerk for being there to allow me to have the convenience of shopping at inopportune times. We all want to feel appreciated in what we do to make a paycheck, even if it's a job we may not want to be doing at the moment.
I am so excited about this video and Elizabeth’s book. I will preorder now! It has me outraged that there are so many things we are not “allowed” to question without being viscously slandered and attacked. Even “conspiracy theorists” and “anti vaxers” should be allowed to question in a respectful manner. And these labels box people in and don’t give permission to question when we are curious to the validity of anything. We can question and we should. And all those harsh critics of Elizabeth’s first article, I am sure, never put in the work and research she did. I love this channel because well, Caroline. She is not afraid to give her opinion even when it’s not popular. 🥰 Cannot wait to read the book and join the conversation in the book club. It would be exciting to ask questions around the Bronte sisters too as there is so much mystery surrounding them as well.
This truly couldn't have come at any better time. I'm in the midst of trying to decide what to do with my life, or at least my life at the moment, and hearing Elizabeth talk about how much she wanted to be a writer despite so many people saying otherwise to her had me tearing up from how much I resonated with that (not being a writer so much as I feel the pressure to do something that would be safer in the long run despite the fact that I keep coming back to a completely different thing. ) Anyway, I will absolutely be revisiting this video many more times, it was just so good.
I love Elizabeth. This is my mantra: "Just do what you want to do. One day we'll all be dead." It's actually a Buddhist exercise, visualizing that you will die one day and keeping that in mind while living your life in the now. It's so great! I tell my kids this mantra sometimes, and yes it is morbid but it's also freeing, playful, funny, absurd, and did I say freeing?
Another less confrontational mantra: I've told timid friends this since high school: "None of this will matter in five years/Will this even matter in five years?" The answer is NO and NO and NO
I loved this video! I'm a professional artist and it just resonated with me on all levels. I understand "it is not my job, it is my heart." I make paper fashion and sculptures and it is what I breathe. Do what makes your spirit dance. I am so looking forward to this book. I took two years of Shakespeare in college. Thank you for quality, real, vulnerable and fun content. Love it!! 💕
The book sounds incredibly interesting, and really does encapsulate what happens when people deify their idols. They'll be so attached to the _idea_ of their idol that they can't even be open to the reality of possibility. And once they deify their idols, they adopt that idea of the person into their own identity. To question their idol is to attack their idol which in turn is to attack their identity. They become so blinded by this attachment that they forgo human decency and respect in defense of this idea they hold so dear.
As interesting as her book does sound, I will give a little context. Part of the reason people push back so hard (which actually is a little in the description of the book given), is that it’s largely a classist argument without much evidence. No one questioned Shakespeare’s identity in England until over a hundred years later & each was an attempt to accredit his work to upper class individuals. The root of the questioning is that the son of someone from the merchant/ lower class could possibly be talented and learn to such an extent that he could make such good work. That’s what tends to get people riled up. Contemporaries of Shakespeare didn’t question his identity.
It’s similar to the systematic attempt to undermine Alexandre Dumas’ work because of his race.
Again, not saying that’s what Elizabeth herself is engaging in but that’s the root of a lot of these theories.
I absolutely LOVE how you two are so honest and supportive with each other but there is still the element of joy and laughter and the kidding with each other that siblings who truly love each other have between them. I had a twin brother who committed suicide a week before our 35th birthday and we had a relationship similar to the one you two share.....I miss him EVERY day !! Treasure each other and the gift of the meaningful bond that you have.
Damn Elizabeth is fricking brilliant. I so remember these struggles in my 20’s. I did go to law and did that for years but now I’m a designer. And mom. Be everything!
I am intensely and endlessly envious of the relationship you have with your siblings. Every time you feature one of them I try to live vicariously through you. Some of us are not so lucky... and I really hope you realize how fortunate you are to have siblings you are proud of and like to be around. I'm adopting you both as my big sisters, hope you don't mind! (Although I might be older than you. 😂)
I'm an aspiring writer - I work in digital marketing and do a lot of copywriting, but I hope to be a novelist someday - and this was inspiring! I wanted to be a journalist but everybody discouraged me and I listened (although I eventually became a broadcast journalist for a short period of time). I'm a Leo, so I thrive on external validation. I'm trying to change this and this video made me feel like it might be possible. Thanks for the pep talk! I needed it.
Also, I'm totally ordering this book and joining the book club! See you both there. ✌️
I love everything about this video! Two sisters being themselves, bringing out the best in each other, engaging in an epistemic conundrum...but most of all touching on that very touchy subject "validation"! We all want it, crave it, but the best feeling really does come from engrossing ourselves in something we love doing. That is something I am going to make sure to remind myself. Thank you!!!
Caroline how did you read my mind... thank you for this cathartic video. Just accepted my "dream job" and have been crying every week because I'm so unhappy and I'm so ashamed to admit I hate it
How are you doing
YES!! The perspective from the grave - this is how I've justified everything I've ever done, & I've never, until now, heard anyone else say the same!
I say, "100 years from now, we'll all be dead & gone, so who'll care that you took the day off??!"
OR -
Nike - "JUST DO IT"
Girl the bangs are BANGING ❤
This is the only thing that matters to me Ty
I just have to say your love and admiration for your sister brought me to tears.
Loved watching you and Elizabeth together and the witnessing the love and support you show each other. As a PhD student writing about a controversial topic in a way that many scholars don't necessarily approve of, it means so much to hear you both talking about the weight of external validation and the need to take ourselves beyond its limiting effects. Thank you for sharing this!
Caroline, this post came at the right time for me. After months of being incredibly busy at work, running from one deadline to another, exhausting myself and having little time for life and family, I this week was the last drop. I don’t even know why I am doing this other than salary. There’s no validation anymore. I know I need to turn the page and preserve my health and soul.
I never knew what I wanted to do. 33 years in and it's a good job but I don't love it. I love the people I work with and have made some great friendships. The one thing I do love about my job is I leave it at work when I'm done for the day!
Awesome sisters! you know how visiting kindergarten (if you ever been as an adult visitor), you start talking about anything at all.. Let' say you say: "my sister is a wonderful person and she is a writer," there will inevitably be a kid who'd yell out "I have a sister too! And she is smart! and I love her!" This is what I feel like after watching you two. Thank you for sharing your ideas about work-life-work and what work means for different people. Always a pleasure to watch your video's, Caroline.
Caroline, you and your sister are a true treasure, and this video could not come out at a better time. From a 20 year old, thank you both sincerely for sharing your wisdoms with the world. 💕 Y'all are like my role models
Caroline, I love how you are looking at your sister with such love and admiration. I wish I had sisterly love like this, watching the two of you together look so happy and uplift each other is so beautiful. All the best for you guys
Listening to the two of you and just you alone I feel so motivated! You two are a couple of the most intelligent folks I've seen on TH-cam as of late! Thank you both for the inspiration! My heart secretly bleeds for the two of you lol!
I really enjoyed hearing you talk about this. My personal journey has led me to recognize similar patterns. God has really been making this a theme with
many friends, family, or people I've ministered to as of late...He's definitely speaking to me personally about this concept and how He views my humanity.
That He loves and sacrificed for my humanity. That perfectionism isnt His desire for me, and shouldnt be my goal. It's maturity that is the goal with Him. Also, Knowing Him, NOT just knowing about Him or "doing" for Him.
There have been these moments in my life where I have learned to recognize where I am trying to control the uncontrolable. I begin to hear Him whisper to me. "You've become effected, and no longer affective in this area. I dont want that for you."
Thankfully, I know He loves me, and I remember that my relationship with Him has been established on what He did for me- knowing that my humanity is valuable to Him. I have learned to appreciate this and rest in the fact that He's making me stronger in the midst of my mistakes. That has been invaluable for me.
Thank you for your vulnerability. Blessings on you and your HOME.
As someone who just got promoted to manager, and turned it down at first but then accepted because of money, this hit me hard.
I did that 15 years ago. Ended up miserable but could buy more stuff. Not worth it. 🤷
This whole premise bothers me. It's completely okay to accept a job or promotion only for the money. After all, that is what you are there for... it doesn't mean it is a bad decision inherently. And it doesn't mean it will make you miserable. Sure, it would be nice if your career path and finances were on a perfect upward path in lock step with each other. But that's not typical and don't beat yourself up for making the best decision for yourself at the time.
This is a VERY IMPORTANT conversation. I've made some very bad decisions in my life because I feared the external validation --- I didn't know what it was and this is it! Imagine only chosing certain jobs and even locations based on fear or to avoid the verbal disapproval I knew was coming.
You girls are a mix of sweet & salty and I’m loving it! I’m excited for this book and book club. Congratulations! I love the passion between these projects.
Very good conversations here, gals; love you and your sister. Re the attacks on her after she published her analysis of a possibility, a premise, just an ANALYSIS....I think what it is, is that society as a whole, and referring here to the western society, finds it's own home in these publicly accepted beliefs; agreeing on historical truths is part of a 'home', idea of safety, equilibrium for society at large (and western society does have it's own personality, character, the public persona that we all are form this and is based on these beliefs); when you question these, that part of some people become so afraid of chaos, that they defend the status quo with utmost voracity. And it kind of makes sense...
Also love how you find so much love and support in each other in hard times; that is beautiful. omg I *will* stop writing.
Caroline I’m at a point in my life where I’m 20, I feel like I need to know exactly where I’m going. I’m a full time waitress, considering being an air hostess as a career, & not in an form of education. My dream is to be a dancer, I know I can do it, but something inside of me is stopping me from going to dance classes and getting myself out there. I have danced since I was 3 years old. But this video has helped me realise to just GO for it. 20 is NOT too late at all. I have felt quite down for some time about it. But you and your sister are the role models I can now take advice from. Thank you for dropping this video. Hopefully next time I’m watching I will of been to my first dance class in years. Lots of love. 😌💛💛
Go to class, you're not too old. Whats that Martha Graham quote? Technique doesnt make great dancers , passion does. Age doesnt stop you either, in fact it informs your dance with all that life you have lived. Do it, go for it ❤
Pre-ordered the book. I'm so excited to read it! This conversation really hit home for me. The glaringly obvious but tormentingly difficult to apply truth that just because you can do it doesn't mean you should do it. Wow! Being good at something doesn't make it the something, the only thing, you should be doing. I fell into tech at 19 and finally became a published author at 51. So glad I did. But, like Elizabeth, I still want to know what kind of writer I can be. Or rather, all the kinds of writers I can be / books I can create. I'm itching to explore that more. Letting go of serious external validation and conditioning will be critical for me to realize those goals. Caroline, you always strip things back to a comfortable, actionable, truth. Love it! And I love the sibling support (and teasing)!
Petition for Elizabeth starting her own yt channel
yes please
I was a narrative illustrator for many years and got a lot of external validation from it, and I quit for similar reasons: that what I was doing wasn't giving me joy the way it gave other people joy. I'm working on my own project now, but doing it very slowly. I constantly struggle with feeling like now I'm a "basic mom" or boring or that I'm mediocre because I don't do this BIG THING that got me a lot of raised eyebrows and interest in the past. But I'm happier now. It's tough for sure. Love hearing you two talk about this, it genuinely helps.
I was an animator/ illustrator and I quit also
I’m in the UK 🇬🇧 and unfortunately Amazon aren’t releasing your book until June 8th Elizabeth, so I doubt I’ll have read it by the ti,e you do your book club. Looking forward to reading it and I’m sure it’ll sell very well here in the UK.
watching your relationship is lovely. my sisters are super toxic and i had to separate myself from them. the book sounds right up my alley. i can't wait till it's made into an audiobook. i'll try to read it before that but listening to a book like this while wandering around the world is just like this wonderful secret you're holding that nobody else has just yet. i love that you're sharing the things you found despite it being so taboo for literally no reason.
Caroline actually linked the audiobook in one of the comments at the top. And you can also find it on audible :)
I love that Elizabeth tackled this subject! Especially at a time in history when we scuttle away from questioning popular beliefs. We talk about history and science as if what we currently understand is fact. The fact is, we don’t know what we don’t know! We need more Elizabeth’s in this world who are not afraid to question the status quo!💪🏻
At 23, post grad and applying for jobs with talk of a recession looming, these career videos are invaluable to me. I have no idea what to do career wise but seeing someone so successful who had a similar challenge at my age helps me to know that everything will work out. I’m grabbing the book, excited to join the book club.
I so enjoyed this conversation. I was fascinated by the Shakespeare authorship question after watching a documentary about it years ago, and I remember one of my professors being very critical/dismissive/defensive about it.
DID NOT KNOW THAT ATLANTIC ARTICLE WAS WRITTEN BY YOUR SISTER ! Wow you and your family are all next level creative thinkers. Such a huge fan of this video and all your vids, for realll xxoo
Six minutes in and I’m reminded of one of my favorite quotes: “You won’t be remembered by what people say about you; you will be remembered by what you do.” ❤ icons!
Once again, you’ve posted a video that speaks to me, more than I can say in a comment box. Afrer nearly 33 years as a phlebotomist and ancillary tech, I was terminated and returned to graduate school. My world is upside down right now, and I have to/get to decide what i want to pursue in the workplace after I get my degree. I'm also a self-published author of romance novels (try loving that genre while attending a women's college) and appreciate Elizabeth's willingness to move forward in the face of adversity. If what you're writing doesn’t provoke discussion, thought, commentary, emotions, why even bother, right? The people who hang their hats on the persona of Shakespeare might try to remember the work is unchanged by this, if it comforts them. The work is the eternal, that which remains beyond the grave.
I am waiting impatiently for my copy of Elizabeth's book to arrive, as I preordered the first time you mentioned it. Can't wait!
Caroline, this video could not have been more timely for me! I am a healthcare professional, and over the past few years have found myself losing interest and feeling like I’ve reached a plateau in my career.
I’ve recently been offered a position as a clinical instructor at a post-secondary institution and feel a renewed passion for my career… I feel alive with possibility again! It’s pushed me to upgrade my education in order to be able to teach theory classes as well… from there I feel the possibilities are endless!
Thanks for the great content, yet again. 🥰
I truly hate my job but can’t leave it since it pays the bills and I can’t afford to just quit but it really doesn’t seem to align with my goals 😢
Kaitlin!! This is such a tough position AND it’s so relatable. Which is why I don’t love when people say “just follow your heart” …like, we all have logistical things we have to fund in life. “Passion” is not always realistic in most jobs, and not helpful most of the time. So you’re not alone! But my heart does break to hear you’re in a job you hate, bc I know that very well.
I’m no career counselor and I don’t know you’re position, but some of the things that helped me when I was in that position were to:
- ask about decreased hours (according the ACA you are owed health iMaura ge so long as you work 30hr in most jobs) - I worked on lowering my hours at a job that made it possible. And spent that extra “free” time to cultivate my next step out. Wherever that was putting together resumes, learning a new skill, researching for a business etc
- have lots of conversations with family and friends - and friends of friends! People love to talk about their jobs and they most often want to help you. Make it known that you’re trying to find a better step for yourself, and eventually you may find someone who knows about an opportunity. Most job openings are never even posted online, they’re filled by someone’s referral. So this can be huge!!
Sending a big hug to you. I hope you get yourself to a more tolerable place that still works for the reality of your life!
@@Caroline_Winkler yes. life is too short to hate what you do every day at your work.
I don’t have a sister (just 4 brothers ha) and this made me tear up. Your support and banter is everything. Absolutely loved hearing Elizabeth talk about her book too- her face lights up . I agree about the obsessiveness being par for the course for a lot of passion projects. As a creative entrepreneur Sometimes I wish I could get my brain to turn off and out of ‘work mode’ but if that’s the price I pay for doing work I love I’m cool with it. I want my kids to see me building something amazing. All this said, I work 10-20 hrs/wk so I guess I have really good work life balance by many many standards. Loved loved loved this video.
I studied English Literature and didn’t pursue writing (yet). This has been so fascinating to hear your sister’s journey and perspectives. I just love the Shakespeare debate, and your sister! ❤️ I’ve always felt a kinship with your sister, and hearing about her experience in school, the desire for validation from teachers, etc…soooo relatable. Thank you both for sharing! True to god excited to read her book!!!!! 😂❤
I love your sister. Her perspective is so helpful. Thank you for sharing her with your TH-cam fam! ❤
"External Validation," 🙌Wow! Instantly resonated. Thanks for covering it.🙏
I love your sisterly support, btw! As a Tudor/Elizabethethan era enthusiast I shall also support Liz and pick up this "heretical" book! Keep up those good vibes ladies. Y'all inspire me.🎉🥂
You guys are the cutest sisters, and it warms my heart that you each have this support system ❤ love these honest and therapeutic discussions
P.S. I can't believe I just pre-ordered Elizabeth's book! I read her article a while ago and she's a brilliant writer.
Elizabeth reminds me of my favorite quote: "To doubt everything or to believe anything are two equally convenient solutions; both dispense with the necessity of reflection."
Both she and Caroline embody this so well, I love their self-reflections and outward examinations.
Well this is great! I had no idea I was going to watch Shakespeare Authorship content when I subscribed to your Channel! It’s like best of both worlds! Congrats to Elizabeth for this great accomplishment! And thank you Caroline for the shameless promotion haha, just pre-ordered the audiobook! Thanks❤
Good for Elizabeth for questioning academia. I was the same straight A student and loved my teachers, I even became a teacher. They taught us to question, but when you find something to question it’s amazing how sometimes they shut down and deny you the ability to be curious. Cannot wait to read your book!
I was waiting for Caroline’s next video but I had no idea the subject would coincide so well with my current state of questioning. Such perfect timing!
Just pre-ordered Elizabeth’s book because HOW COULD I NOT after such an epic pitch 😅
I soooo needed this! It completely resonates with me.
Just recently learned to not only not give a f*ck about outside validation but also be brave enough to go against the people whose validation I craved. I’ve pre ordered the audible, and will definitely order the book when it comes out in Europe in June. Thank you!!! Both of you are fricking amazing!
I adore your sister! Love when she's on your videos.
Wow! Just hearing Elizabeth say “remember they’re going to be dead one day” 😂😂😂 instantly helped me with my issue of worrying about what people think. Thanks Elizabeth ❤❤❤