True, I also think that this approach is kinda off putting, considering that you have to 'go to the darkside' and do some manipulating yourself. But also, I suggest you look at the video from this perspective as well; the title of the video is "how to catch a liar in the act", these kinds of people manipulate a lot so coming up to them and saying "I think you're being genuine" will only make them resort to manipulation and lying more. Any sort of attempt at communicating is an attack to them, so unfortunately you have to kind of be a manipulator yourself, to gain some sort of awareness of what they're trying to accomplish. You don't have to lie and be disingenuous about it, you're just playing they're game but without letting your emotions play it once you see what they're trying to do. Going back to what you said, I also have one question. Do you have another approach that maybe we can try? This isn't a means to shut you down, I'm just want to know more about your insights, while also providing another perspective to what the video is trying to entail. Cheers bro🎉
I don't think this clip was in reference to love life specifically but you're correct that if your partner is making you play chess they're most likely not your "person", which is the point of these implementing these "diagnostic test balloons" in order to gain information about the person we're interacting with
That's a bad cut. Out of context. Doc talks not about how to "deal" with liars but about how to find out you are being lied to without huge investigation.
It kinda reminds me of 2 Turkish women in my doctor's waiting room who smiled at me politely at first but suddenly talked about me with some racist slvrs in front of me in Turkish & I was smiling back at them knowing what they said about me & before I could reply yet, the Turkish nurse who really liked me said to them in Turkish that they should be ashamed daring to mistreat me because I understood everything & I was laughing loud with her about them & they were baffled & tried to apologize for it but I didn't reply to them anymore.🤣
Be careful though, some don't realize they are being dishonest until you push them toward the truth. You don't have to be the one "exposing" them, just leading them to understand their own perspective more fully and hopefully to disarm them on their own accord.
Broke up with my girlfriend yesterday. 40 min after she are date time, and 3 calls she clearly clicked away, she just so happens to turn on the phone, near second after i called her disrespect, she said i was cause her father is in the hospital… out of the blue, contently. She said: “Haven’t eaten all day, and im starving, can you get me food.” She wanted restaurant food, I offered home-cooked. And all of the sudden she wasn’t hungry anymore. (Im a great cook by the way). Then i told her i had doubts, and consolidated friends. And she got furious. Saying its a big red flag that i ask for my friends advice. When it comes to are relationships. That she wanted to break up over that simple fact. Then started telling me about small miner things she didn’t like like as a way of justifying it for herself. She always appeared very kind. I dont think she knew how her actions affected people around her. And that made her a happy person, cause a person with out contusion cant feel shame. Watch out for red flags my guys! Actions speak louder the words. If shes just saying love you with out showing it. Shes using you!
The amateurs lose their minds. The pros are much smarter and find ways to undermine you in private. You've got to play the meta game, not just the game.
@factorfitness3713 As the content creator said, "pay attention to their actions". For people over 25 and have interacted with enough people in real life, lies will be much more obvious to see. Without wasting your life with the games. Liars can, potentially, become problematic when children are involved.
Im ngl Im rly passionate abt the truth and the more I feel someone hears me is the more ima feel understood and relaxed and then if they switch up it makes you feel like all your words were wasted and thats frustrating too so I think the biggest part of this is to even take this method with a grain of salt as well and prob combine it with other clues as well
basically, play the game and decide whether you like it or not. Otherwise, that "I don't play games" crap becomes "I'm emotionally guarded because I don't want to be influenced the slightest by my own partner nor be an influence myself"
Exactly what I came here to post. If their morals are already low enough to lie, I don't want to find out about the other areas where they're lacking in morality. And so I'm not going to hurt their ego and then they think they need to defend it.
I literally accidentally did this with my mom recently when I gave the “signal” that I’m not about to fall for the perceived emotional entrapment she Shut down and didn’t say anything else
This is some high level stuff that most people would mess up doing. Idk if I’d be advising people to do it unless they truly understand what it is your actually saying to them
If you know enough to start playing these games you've already know they are full of it. Just get out. It's not your job to point out the error of their ways. A few signs of disrespect are enough. Your absence without explanation is enough.
i'm a person who is really good at reading people if you struggle with lairs the idea is not to get the truth from them but to have the highiest possiblity of them lying so in a sense you just wanna do things that a liar will try to defend or deflect they stack up and the result is the chance of them lying
but at a certain point who is manipulating who? isn't it better just not to play at all. it's the cycle of abuse thing it feels like. im honestly becoming convinced that there's no such thing as social interaction without manipulation, at least not in the long term. i notice that i hate it but at the same time it's automatic, it just happens without thinking. if you are aware of what a person's response is or could be to things you're doing, you make decisions with that in mind. is that manipulation? or at what point does it become pathological? like i can of course think of extreme scenarios, but what about all the in betweens? it's so vague and i can honestly never tell where the boundaries are unless people explicitly state them to me. the real answer is i think that there are no distinctions, that just like most things in life they're just categories in the human mind. but we need those categories in order to live in a civilized society. you can't build from nihilism.
I did this once, but then fell for my own games and became the person they wanted me to be. Now im lost becaue I am not me anymore. At least Thats how it’s feels like.
So out manipulate the manipulator . . . I don't argue the approach. But, if I have to approach my love life like a game of chess. Checkmate, I'm out.
I would argue that most relationships are a game of chess but I’m only speaking from personal experience
@Milk7ss Fair, but within the context presented with the video (not clear if it's romantic or platonic) Just not a game I care to play. Regardless.
True, I also think that this approach is kinda off putting, considering that you have to 'go to the darkside' and do some manipulating yourself.
But also, I suggest you look at the video from this perspective as well; the title of the video is "how to catch a liar in the act", these kinds of people manipulate a lot so coming up to them and saying "I think you're being genuine" will only make them resort to manipulation and lying more. Any sort of attempt at communicating is an attack to them, so unfortunately you have to kind of be a manipulator yourself, to gain some sort of awareness of what they're trying to accomplish. You don't have to lie and be disingenuous about it, you're just playing they're game but without letting your emotions play it once you see what they're trying to do.
Going back to what you said, I also have one question. Do you have another approach that maybe we can try?
This isn't a means to shut you down, I'm just want to know more about your insights, while also providing another perspective to what the video is trying to entail. Cheers bro🎉
I don't think this clip was in reference to love life specifically but you're correct that if your partner is making you play chess they're most likely not your "person", which is the point of these implementing these "diagnostic test balloons" in order to gain information about the person we're interacting with
well your not very wise cause you wont find anyone where that is not the case at some point
That's a bad cut. Out of context. Doc talks not about how to "deal" with liars but about how to find out you are being lied to without huge investigation.
Thanks
It kinda reminds me of 2 Turkish women in my doctor's waiting room who smiled at me politely at first but suddenly talked about me with some racist slvrs in front of me in Turkish & I was smiling back at them knowing what they said about me & before I could reply yet, the Turkish nurse who really liked me said to them in Turkish that they should be ashamed daring to mistreat me because I understood everything & I was laughing loud with her about them & they were baffled & tried to apologize for it but I didn't reply to them anymore.🤣
😂😂😂 and then you woke up
I don’t have the energy for that, when I figure out I’m being lied to or manipulated I’m gone and they never see or hear from me again
It's cut not exactly well - outside context. It is not a method to "deal" with liars it is a method to recognise them.
Be careful though, some don't realize they are being dishonest until you push them toward the truth. You don't have to be the one "exposing" them, just leading them to understand their own perspective more fully and hopefully to disarm them on their own accord.
@@LettuceStop You don't owe them understanding. Protect yourself first.
if you think they're a liar, you shouldn't be dealing with them. But this is not about liars, not everyone who wants something of you is lying
Broke up with my girlfriend yesterday. 40 min after she are date time, and 3 calls she clearly clicked away, she just so happens to turn on the phone, near second after i called her disrespect, she said i was cause her father is in the hospital… out of the blue, contently.
She said: “Haven’t eaten all day, and im starving, can you get me food.” She wanted restaurant food, I offered home-cooked. And all of the sudden she wasn’t hungry anymore. (Im a great cook by the way). Then i told her i had doubts, and consolidated friends. And she got furious. Saying its a big red flag that i ask for my friends advice. When it comes to are relationships. That she wanted to break up over that simple fact. Then started telling me about small miner things she didn’t like like as a way of justifying it for herself. She always appeared very kind. I dont think she knew how her actions affected people around her. And that made her a happy person, cause a person with out contusion cant feel shame. Watch out for red flags my guys! Actions speak louder the words. If shes just saying love you with out showing it. Shes using you!
Or listen and just say NO. Disagree calmly. They lose their minds.
Smiling 'No' technique? 😎
The amateurs lose their minds. The pros are much smarter and find ways to undermine you in private. You've got to play the meta game, not just the game.
Hope I never have to use these techniques ever in my life
😊 thank you. Best comment in this thread. So many hurt, damaged and angry individuals in this thread 😂😂
That's great, stay optimistic. But you will almost certainly have to use this at some point, so be prepared.
@factorfitness3713 As the content creator said, "pay attention to their actions". For people over 25 and have interacted with enough people in real life, lies will be much more obvious to see. Without wasting your life with the games. Liars can, potentially, become problematic when children are involved.
it is very hard to implement. but you will need it regardless if you want or not.
Im ngl Im rly passionate abt the truth and the more I feel someone hears me is the more ima feel understood and relaxed and then if they switch up it makes you feel like all your words were wasted and thats frustrating too so I think the biggest part of this is to even take this method with a grain of salt as well and prob combine it with other clues as well
This is brilliant advice! 💯👏👌
basically, play the game and decide whether you like it or not. Otherwise, that "I don't play games" crap becomes "I'm emotionally guarded because I don't want to be influenced the slightest by my own partner nor be an influence myself"
Be careful out there!
Sometimes, if you wanna play with the devil, you’ll have to pay the price
Exactly what I came here to post. If their morals are already low enough to lie, I don't want to find out about the other areas where they're lacking in morality. And so I'm not going to hurt their ego and then they think they need to defend it.
@@annetteyoutube742 exactly! And don’t be seduced by riddles…. The Price is not worth what you may risk.
Speaking from experience, unfortunately lol
So.... Nepolian strat.... Move backwards to guide them into a trap and see them panic
I literally accidentally did this with my mom recently when I gave the “signal” that I’m not about to fall for the perceived emotional entrapment she Shut down and didn’t say anything else
This would have made such a difference in my life in my 20s.
This is some high level stuff that most people would mess up doing. Idk if I’d be advising people to do it unless they truly understand what it is your actually saying to them
That’s way too much work for someone who will, if they’re smart, never see me again
If you know enough to start playing these games you've already know they are full of it. Just get out. It's not your job to point out the error of their ways. A few signs of disrespect are enough. Your absence without explanation is enough.
Without context that's just short applicable everywhere! 😊
They also added random contacts
Where’s the full video??
"Why You Keep Getting Manipulated (And How to Stop)" - it's on the bottom of the short
Dammit, now i have to watch the video to figure out what actions a manipulator would take
This is exactly what Colombo does
One more thing?
Can you expand on this? Have a hard time dealing with people like that and my approach could definetely be better
If you haven’t already, click the link just above the name of this Short. It will take you to the full video where this excerpt is taken from.
how do u show them that u don’t buy it. what’s an example of what you do in those moments
He is right
i'm a person who is really good at reading people if you struggle with lairs the idea is not to get the truth from them but to have the highiest possiblity of them lying
so in a sense you just wanna do things that a liar will try to defend or deflect
they stack up and the result is the chance of them lying
This is also the technique the law enforcement uses I believe
This is useful, you never know who's a real one and thanks to Dr. K now I know
Brilliant
congratulations to all the people that can just leave lmao parents? r the worse.
Too bad
Why not instead play the game, just leave? I dont see why stay with people I have to play theses games, am I wrong?
but at a certain point who is manipulating who? isn't it better just not to play at all. it's the cycle of abuse thing it feels like. im honestly becoming convinced that there's no such thing as social interaction without manipulation, at least not in the long term. i notice that i hate it but at the same time it's automatic, it just happens without thinking. if you are aware of what a person's response is or could be to things you're doing, you make decisions with that in mind. is that manipulation? or at what point does it become pathological? like i can of course think of extreme scenarios, but what about all the in betweens? it's so vague and i can honestly never tell where the boundaries are unless people explicitly state them to me.
the real answer is i think that there are no distinctions, that just like most things in life they're just categories in the human mind. but we need those categories in order to live in a civilized society. you can't build from nihilism.
If you do this actually not much happens, it will frustrate them and they'll not trust you anymore. They'll keel you around.
Ironic. Total BS advice. No healthy respectful Psychologist would offer this advice.
loved always doing this with flat earthers / other conspiracy theorists
Why bother even engaging with folks like that? It's a waste of time.
@@factorfitness3713 precisely to waste time, working/waiting in line whenever I was bored
I did this once, but then fell for my own games and became the person they wanted me to be. Now im lost becaue I am not me anymore. At least Thats how it’s feels like.
No one stays the same forever. "You" is not a static concept.
This is kind of like "how to deal with a hypocrite" in religion
And it's funny because it works
Yah... and they act like do as Jesus says, but they don't follow what Jesus says at all.
I definitely got clickbaited.
Now I just need a few spam bots in the replies to be fully "manipulated" by Therapist
@@forbiddensilhouette5824 lol
I hot clickbaited too... 😮 Will you buy his book or will you subscribe the channel?