I'm really speechless, also kinda disgusted that 95% of men are incapable of seeing women in a friendly sense only. It makes me also feel kinda great, feel special that I'm part of the very very little amount of people who are the exceptions
I feel like so many of my questions have been answered. But for all you girl commenters, it's not that your guy friend has feelings for you, he's attracted to you. Whether it's physical or emotional or a mix of both can be debated but ultimately, attraction and feelings are not the same.
I think that men and women can be friends if they start thinking of each other as "family". Like sister and brother kind of relationship. And family members never date with each other.
Eddie Wu First of all, you should probably keep that info to yourself unless you don't want a social life anymore. And second, how old was your little sister when you say you were attracted to her before college?
BLACKRED PINKVELVET well since he was so open to revealing his attraction to his sister, I thought it would be fine to ask how old was his little sister when he started liking her. But I guess he wouldn't reveal it anymore since I told him to keep it to himself haha. I was just curious if there was something more than incest. Like maybe him liking little girls?
Condoriaano There is a biological reason why siblings naturally aren't sexually attracted to each other and for that to occur siblings have to live together for many years. Turns out that the scent or pheromones of family members subconsciously repulse each other. Nature did it to prevent incest.
Carleeto meepo I guess you missed the whole point of the video. Are speaking from a mans point of view or a women’s? And most men don’t want babies they want to have meaningless sex.... according to you millions of years of male and female evolution is out the window
@@Stephen-lt1tp I dont think ever man out there is going to be after sex, my point is that as long as there is no sexual attraction which there mostly isn't, then a friendship is okay
Dan is damn war hero! Dude sneaks behind enemy lines, infiltrates their ranks, earns their trust. Enemy Commander Felicia never suspected a thing until it was to late.
I know this is an old comment, but it doesn't matter if you "believe" in it or not, you just need an example to prove. And there's lots of examples, including me.
I've been close friends with a woman for 16 years and not once ever tried to date her or get intimate with her. I like her as a close friend, nothing more. I'm also close friends with my ex, despite not having any romantic interest for her any longer.
Would you categorize either of the two women as being unattractive? If you did find them physically unattractive would it change your enthusiasm to hang out?
IllumiNada I'm definitely not physically attracted to either one. I'd say one of them is attractive, and the other average, but it doesn't matter, they know me well and I know them well, and share a lot of history with me as friends. That's all that matters. Frankly, I have another woman in my life now who I'm very happy with, so my two female friends will remain just friends as far as I'm concerned, and I wouldn't want to change that.
Okay. But I'm not saying you have to be pursuing sex(and I applaud you for being faithful in your new relationship.) I'm only saying that either you're a unicorn, you do find the two women at least "do-able", or you're not allowing yourself to fully consider that you're just a dude and attractiveness matters.
I hear you Markigirl, and I agree. But you must also agree that if attractiveness, money, status, prestige, etc. have nothing to do with your allure to a partner or enticement toward friendship, then you are in that "decent person" unicorn minority.
If a guy isn't attracted, he's off chasing women he is attracted to and not wasting time with the girl he's not interested in. Sad fact and the same with women who aren't using guys for perks.
@@celticgibson i personally think it's possible because i friends with 3 girls and i never once was attracted to them now obviously there are girls im attracted to but the the 3 i mentioned never once was into them
Dan is spot on. I believe that friendship between a man and woman developing into romance is how it SHOULD be done, but it's not realistic to expect it to happen. I know because it's not happening to me right now.
I think if a guy doesn't want to befriend a girl unless he's attracted to her physically, it's because he's not confident enough within himself -- he feels he will be judged by other guys (and maybe girls too) as a failure if he's with a girl that's not particularly attractive. Some girls have the same issue, but many girls don't mind being seen with a less attractive guy because women tend to be nurturing.
Today I am celebrating the one-year anniversary of the day I "broke up with my best friend" of 20 years. I found it hilarious that you guys mentioned 20-years in your video, because that was me. Yes, it exists!! I was the one so completely attracted to my best friend, but he never felt that way about me. I held onto the friendship in hopes that one day he'd get that proverbial lightning bolt and see that I was the perfect woman for him ... but it never came. Eventually, I had to do the hardest thing I've ever done and tell him goodbye. I still think about him all the time, and it's still very painful, but my self-respect was rapidly declining and I had to set my boundaries. Haven't seen or heard from him in a year now, and that's the longest we've ever gone without contact. Would I ever do it again? Attempt a platonic friendship with a guy? Probably not. Once bitten, twice shy.
Very interesting and honest comment. So basically you felt the effects of being friendzoned from a male's perspective! Kudos to you for doing what was best for you and your peace!
Dan is spot on! Guys may not seek out the friendship for future possibilities, but it just so happens that you become friends because there is some sort of attraction, even if it's just a very minimal bit of attraction. Oh and thanks for starring us at 5:54! Lol we were surprised that the random names you used happen to be ours! Lol
I have alot of platonic relationships with the opposite sex. Nothing wrong with that...however, i noticed men often think of serious relationship than I'd like. When I begin to sense this, I turn ignorant to dissuade it.
I think a man and woman can be friends but there will always be a moment in time that the man or the woman will be attracted to the other. Either it is fleeting or the person won't want to ruin the relationship because he or she knows that the other person would not be interested or the person is afraid if it goes further and things go south they can't be friends again.
Ever since getting married, I don't have any close female friends and my wife doesn't have any close male friends. We have other married couples we are friends with, but it would be really bizarre and unusual, for instance, for me to be hanging out with the wife of one of our married couple friends just one on one. (And vice versa.) At least that has been our experience and we've been happily married for over 10 years!
Essentially a spot-on video on the psyche of both sexes. Dan also gave a good overview of the historical background leading up to this. There are unicorns, though extremely rare.
One of the reason my past relationship ended, was because I was mad about him texting a girl almost everyday, if not everyday, they just have really long conversations. I talked to him about it, but the problem was never solved. He doubted about the relationship because he thought that I was saying he cannot have any female friends. I thought I was a little being too jealous before so I didn't say anything until I saw him changing the girl's name on the phone to a cute nickname. That totally crossed the line imo. Also, they always text in paragraphs, just reminded me of how we started. And the thing that bugged me the most, was that I saw sparkles in his eyes when he saw her. He has other female friends that I don't mind him hanging out with, but he was just denying the fact that he was obviously attracted to that girl and being mad at me saying I'm overreacting. Also, IMO, if you are truly friends with that person, you will know you shouldn't text them or ask to hang out that often when they are in a relationship.
The problem is that usually it is attraction that brings two together in the first place. Men in particular do not go out of their way to make friends with a woman unless there's something that attracts them.
Friend zone, regardless to guys or girls, is just a zone to escape. Attraction is always a primary ingredient to start a relationship. You can call the chemistry. If someone is attractive to you and you zone him or her, that's just a plain denial to yourself. Dan made pretty fair analysis about friend zone. You just can't friend zone someone who's attractive to you.
can one guy really speak for all men? not really... coming up: all of dan's female friends are suddenly unavailable to hang out. as far as the study, as you said, it was a small sample, plus we know nothing about what cultural groups, ages, etc.. were represented, so that is not reliable information.
mad dusa Yes, generally we call them representatives. Their interpretation may not be the conclusive definition for all. However gives you a very good sense of what's applicable to most people in most situations.
Yes guys can be friends with girls but that is an "Initial attraction" a.k.a first impression which is usual in guy:girl friendship. The "potential attraction" only starts when the guy friend gets isolated with the girl. the more you two spend time together alone, thats where things start to develop. Intimacy is the catalyst of falling for the other person more.
I think this depends a lot on age. When I was younger, I was much more like Dan described. Now, I value companionship more than anything else. It is great to be able to just relax and enjoy a woman's company without being pressured to make the relationship sexual.
Think it depends on the country too 🤔 when I visited France for a while, I saw a LOT of guy-girl friendships and significant others didn’t seem to really mind, especially if the SOs knew the guys/girls they were hanging out with
I think you're correct on one level that it's hard for guys and girls to be friends. I've experienced it myself when I've tried to be friends with guys in the past but it back fired as they got attracted.... Even today after being married, other guys still find me attractive. So I guess it's about male and female's psychological thinking and how the perceive a relation.
i duno that it means that they are like obsessed with u or stay up late at night staring at a pic of u outlining the shape of ur lips with their finger. its more like they'll be normal friends with u but if one day u came onto one of them they'd easily go with it and get with u no problem.
Yep I try to tell my daughter that but she won't believe me. I am not trying to scare her off of having guy friends but it is just something present that can't be helped.
and even then for some guys its not that they will TRY to get their female friends in bed. more like they're biding their time and if the girl happens to let things go in that direction, the guy will help it continue there. where as a girl in most cases would be like "oh no your my friend".
guys aren't always lying when they say that they used to like you, but not anymore. I have a friend she's fun to be around but she has some traits that I'm not attracted to, and that makes her a no-go. I saw those later in the "friendship"
I discovered this difference of thinking when I talked to my brother about one of my friends putting him in the friend zone. It took me 2 hours to get him to understand the concept of the friend zone cause he didn't think of a girl who is a friend as not a potential gf but girls won't think of it as a potential if your in the friend zone.
I have tried to have this conversation, like Dan, with so many of my friends who are girls!! Dan is RIGHT. Guys can be friends with girls, but they DO find you attractive and would be intimate if the opportunity came up.
I agree with Dan. Guys need to be able to show his guy friends of the girl he's hanging out with, and having an unattractive girl as his BFF would totally tank his rep with his guy friends. Besides it's fun for a guy to think he's got even a remotest of chance of be with that girl. It's like Jim Carrey's character in Dumb and Dumber: "You mean I have a chance?"
That's a problem, you(and everyone else) needs to stop worrying about what others think, it doesn't matter what they think about you, you'll all end up dead eventually and then no one will care.
Just so you know, us girls can smell a douche who's only trying to get with us immediately. Stop being a jerk and actual be a person offering friendship to another goddam person.
This question is so simple. No need to unnecessarily make it more complicated. Doesn't matter if the guy friend zones the girl or the girl friend zones the guy. If one of them is romantically attracted to the other, they CANNOT be friends. If there is no romantic attraction between the two, they CAN be friends. This is pretty much the basic foundation for this infamous question. Everything else you guys factor in is just extra variables. And also let me add one last thing. Staying in the friend zone is destructive for your mental health. You either take action to communicate or take action to bounce. Inaction is the worst choice.
That implies you stay in the friend zone despite WANTING to be in a relationship with the other. For guys, as outlined in the video, it often is just a minimal attraction, or in the case of a unicorn, nothing really at all. If on the other hand the guy WAS terribly attracted to a girl, pretending to just be friends is unhealthy, I agree:)
That was regarding your last part. What I got from the video is it is a bit more complex than what you are proposing, in that the male side is not equal to the female side of thinking...
Women don’t understand that man’s natural instincts preclude a true friendship if there is an attraction in any way. And if there isn’t, most likely he would rather be friends with another man anyway. If a man agrees to be a friend with a girl, he either is not attracted to her, or he is going along with it hoping she’ll change her view of him.
As a guy I can somewhat agree... I have a lot of hot friends and some I have had for 15 years and never made any type of attempt despite times where they have made some attempts at sex with me. I could see them as long term partners and have no jealousy when they are in a relationship I just am ok with whatever way the wind blows.. a value exists for having attractive friends.. they usually have attractive friends and you learn a lot about women who are popular or attractive along the way.
As far as i'm concerned, i can only be just friends with a girl which i've... well... friend-zoned. a girl i meet will eventually end up in 1 of these 3 categories : - girls i'm attracted to : while i will be "friendly" (as Dan said) with them and might hang around sometimes, i won't ever consider them as just friends as i do see them as potential future girlfriends. ie i cannot truely talk with them or behave around them as i would with my actual friends. - girls i'm totally not attracted to : the moment i realize there's something i absolutely cannot bear about a girl, i won't even consider being friends with her, not will i even care of having them in my life in whatever possible way. - girls i friendzone : pretty much the same as if i had a male friend in a female body : i do not care if she farts every 10mn after she had a beer or if she's wearing a sexy dress, she's someone i have fun talking with or having around. while she may (and often) look attractive to others, i personally do not feel romantically attracted to her one bit.
Here is a tip: Best way to get foreign friends is to learn their language and participate in all kinds of exchange student meetings. They will be amazed and immediately your friend if you can speak their language very well. So through language learning you can easily have friends opposite sex. (I have tried this using my Japanese and Chinese)
What a great topic! And you've handled it SO WELL! He states that it's impossible, except for unicorns, and ...he's right. I would just phrase it a little differently, to make it clear: If you have a man's body, you will always be aware of the sex of your friend. You will always imagine (if you're single) sex with your friend. (Maybe married too.) it's the man's body that causes this "problem." My man's body removes all doubt here: I will always return to the position of wanting sex with a woman, regardless of anything else.
This seems to be limited to straight people, because attraction is discussed as a factor in the relationship, and it seems a little limiting to the discussion. It's like saying that lesbians can't be friends with other women or gay men can't be friends with other men. Furthermore, this is something I see a lot in American culture: The idea that men and women are not able to be friends without being attracted to each other. I am from Denmark and in a lot of Nordic countries it is not uncommon for men and women to be friends without any attraction being there at all.
Had a gay friend, he was a close friend. i knew he was attracted to me. I also knew he found every other male friend attractive. Had a lesbian friend in college, we were like brothers. She told me every lesbian girl she knew was attracted in some way to every female friend. And i found her attractive. Attraction doesnt mean romantic feelings, it just means you find the other person attractive. It doesn't mean you get horny for seeing them.
married, but have female friends - one of which, off the top of my head, is single - and i have zero attraction to her. would it be different if i was single? i've been single a number of times since university, and have never once thought of making a move on this girl. plutonic relationships are rare, but possible
Very insightful! Thank you, Dan for peeling back the reasons why a guy is friends with a girl, and explaining (and confirming my suspicions) of why he just doesn’t actively pursue to get himself out of the friend-zone. And I love your example of 20 years before a guy might make a move.... (speaking from experience - it’s been 17 years!! But things are still unclear as to which direction this “relationship” (or whatever it is) is headed. 😕🤔 Hopefully it’ll all be cleared up soon, in a good way.
I think men and women can't be friends the reason why i say this is because i have a-lot of female friends. but givin enough time together one of the other starts to feel something more for the other person thats just how we humans are when you're friends with a female for a while one you will catch some sort of feelings. Thats nature
This is a much better discussion than most I have seen on this topic. So often it is portrayed as they can't be just friends because the guy always wants more but that's not really true at least not for me. What is more accurate is that the guy will be open for the possibility of more, if it doesn't happen, OK, but there is always potential. There are times where a woman can be "just one of the guys" but that's s usually as part of a larger group and so more has to do with the collective nature of the group than her as an individual I think .
If guys are only friends with girls because they want to hook up and ditch them as soon as there's no attraction, and say that there's no point in being friends with a girl if you're not attracted to her, then why isn't that the same with guy friends, who you're definitely not attracted to? Like why is friendship with guys valuable but not friendship with girls you're not attracted to? (Assuming all involved are straight)
Imagine you are friendzoned by a guy you really like and you still have to see him and talk to him every so often since you have the best conversation with this guy and you don't wanna lose him in any way.
Answer before it starts, yes you can. My best friend is a girl, and we are just friends. I have many female friends. Even if I have had crushes on some girls that aren't in my inner circle, I let it go.
im a guy and i have plently of female friends who i consider unattractive. I like hanging out with them even more because i'm not constantly thinking about boning them. anyone else?
This problem doesn't seem to arise at universities. I guess men have been told to accept women, so they actually talk to them like human beings at university.
sure guys and girls can be just friends, i got basically nothing but girl-friends, however he is right, typically us guys do find our girl-friends attractive in some way. No that attraction doesnt need to be physical either. It could be just personality that a guy is attracted to.
Speaking as a girl who's been friendzoned after telling the guy I liked him, Dan's wrong on this. We were still really good friends after (past tense here because I'm just terrible at keeping up friendships, even with my female friends)
My guyfriend told me he only initially started being my friend cause he thought he had a shot. Then he realized it was never goin to happen, especially when I got a boyfriend but stuck around cause he realised I'm a nice person (his words) we've been friends for 7 years So according to this guy, my friend is just hanging around because he still has hope?
@Lipgloss 2000 yes, sounds like he wants/wanted a relationship. He was probably hoping you quickly broke up with your bf at least in the initial stage of your friendship :) Now after 7 years, its hard to tell if he feels the same. He could have simply: 1. given up/is on the brink of giving up hope by now(but still interested in a relationship with you), 2. has actually come to see you as a friend and as such wont want to think dirty of you, much less have sexual relations with you (generally depending on the stuff you talk about and how flirty or non flirty your convos are), or 3. might consider a friends with benefits relationship if you bring it up, because he still finds you sexually attractive. There are a few other possibilities for example 4. He could still be interested in a relationship with you but will readily accept a friends with benefits relationship as its the next best deal after a normal bf/gf relationship :). You may be confused as what to do now but I suggest you keep him as a friend if you cannot gauge his interest level or he tells you explicitly or indirectly that you're more like a sister to him
OMG, I saw Dan outside in the Chinese New Year festival in Flushing, I saw him on a float thing, he prob didn't even see my but.....I CAN STILL SAY THAT I MET A TH-camR
It's usually easier to be friends with guys just for the emotional support if nothing else. Us guys actually get where each other is coming from, understand nuance, have this thing called *_Empathy_* and can check each other when we get out of line, without so much judgment involved. Many women will say they want a guy who's emotionally vulnerable and in touch with his emotions - but I've found that they only want that when it's convenient and makes them feel like they are nurturing. The minute it becomes inconvenient, they'll turn that _perceived_ vulnerability against you in a way that makes them look stunning and brave to their friends. Worst case, they'll suggest that you were emotionally abusing them. Perfect Example: My last life partner died of liver failure, and I realized I had kept my emotions pushed down, so in this last relationship, I decided to be more open, trusting, emotionally vulnerable, etc. And we actually discussed that at length. She has a lot of masculine energy and seemed to have things figured out, so I trusted her with WAY too much (we are talking, like, strapon level of trust, weeks of preparation, the works, since it's something she needs to be able to do in a relationship... And honestly, once you trust a woman with *_that_* , you as a guy feel like you can trust them with literally anything). Now, I'm _really_ picky about who I get with. I look at the person first and their looks second. I'm objectively not some simplistic, shallow dude. On my end, I inadvertently triggered past trauma she had with ex-boyfriends beating her up, something she hadn't been honest with me about. On her end, she flat-out betrayed my trust, hinted to her friends on Instagram that I was emotionally abusing her, and even suggested, when she broke up with me, to her friends that: "it got physical". She's the leader of Florida Strongwoman. Said she "had to set an example for women" as some sort of excuse. What a _terrible_ example. Of anyone I'd ever been with, she was the _last_ one I would have expected that from. I forgave her for it all, however, nope, nope, *_Nope_* . Not doing that again! :) I'm actually seeing a female therapist now to move on from that since I don't want that experience to impact future relationships, something else I would recommend to any guy - if you get burned like that, see a therapist. It's validating, a _good_ therapist will challenge your beliefs about things, and it helps a lot. I recommended that she see one as well to deal with her past so she can move forward and not be so afraid of relationships, but that's on her... I doubt she even read my email since now I'm the 'bad guy'. Oh well, life goes on. I do feel bad for her though regardless. She deserves good things in this life, especially since she's gone through so much...
Be honest with each other. Make your expectations clear from the start, and these "unspoken" feelings and rules wont be as much of an issue. As a guy, let a girl know right away that youre looking for a potential partner, but its also on you to move on if she says no. For girls, its on you to not lead guys on. Dont start hanging out with a guy, if you have no intention of being anything more than acquaintance/friends.
Guy here in an actual platonic relationship with a woman( for over 10 years now). We actually talked about this openly and we know where we both stand. I will say this: Dan is right. The attraction is there (on my part, it's not reciprocal), but not the need to act on it. However, if things were to change, I'm not gonna say no. I think things are different when the guy does have the need to act out his instincts. Those would not maintain such a relationship but move on once a suitable partner has been found.
Psychologically women need a man. Their hind brain tells them to find companions. This is a survival mechanism. This is why women can't see the male perspective on this. Men don't need a large network of friends to survive the same way a woman might need to. This is why most cultures before the 1950s did not allow women and men to mingle casually. Biology makes it confusing even if you want to make a concious choice to not cheat on your partner, the threat of having a 1 night fling when either is vulnerable is a possibility. Most people always wonder if the grass is greener and may even think to themselves that it's not but we are all fallable
I think time plays a huge role in this. I've developed a friendship with my ex-wife. Like a genuine friendship. It's like we did the relationship thing and moved past it to friendship. Ten years is a long time, love can change into a more family like relationship. Agree, disagree?
I'm a straight male, and i'm friends with females. just yesterday I went to eat dinner with 3 of my best female friends, but i don't see them as potential lovers or anything like that. I do think they're pretty, but thats just it.
Dan is completely right in the sense that guys will be friends with girls for the potential or the fact that they are attracted to them even if they never pursue them romantically. Perhaps its something not all guys are aware of and girls can understand BUT he's definitely right about his assertion.
I'm a girl and I completely agree with the fact that men and women can't be friends. And I get so annoyed with girls being in denial or getting absolutely baffled about this fact! The thing is, girls can perceive a guy as a "brother". But a guy will not percieve you as a "sister" if you are an atractive woman! There will be sexual tension and thats what girls don't get! That men has for ex waay higher testosteron for ex that will make him feel stuff etc. Its in their dna! What I wonder is though, what about guy friends that already has a girlfriend? Some sa its safer to be friends with guys thats taken, because he already has someone he can still his urges with so to speak?
As a guy, I think there are situations where that guy could be right - and situations where it doesn't fit. If the guy approaches the girl and 'befriend' her, then there's high possibility of the 1st case scenario will play out as he described. But if it was an encounter by chance and there are things we have in common, I've kept those friends for a long time while not finding them attractive. I'd be more careful about speaking on behalf of all guys.
Honestly, as a guy, some of my best friends were girls who I was specifically not attracted to. Like, for me, it seems hard to be friends with a girl who I am attracted to because the fact I'll always want to be more than friends will dilute any actual friendship. Most of the girls who I'm friends with are people I'm not attracted to because of this. However, I must say this has been my experience over the last several years where I haven't been considering getting into a relationship. I've noticed more recently, having started to feel a stronger affinity towards having a relationship, I've begun to lean slightly more towards what Dan is saying here. Although it's not always the case for every guy, at all times, there is definitely truth what he says.
Dan Is right on some part.. Yeah, most guys don't want to spend time with girls if they don't have interest in them. but guys also blocks the possible moves from girls if they do not find any interest in her.
Generally speaking he is correct and accurate from a broad perspective. There are exceptions to every rule.
***** There's plenty wrong with you. I figured you could some honesty. Now you can take your TH-cam cancer comments to another channel. Thx
I completely agree with Alex F. He is so dead on about this subject.
Thank god there are a few exceptional men i.e. civilized men not neanderthals.
I'm really speechless, also kinda disgusted that 95% of men are incapable of seeing women in a friendly sense only. It makes me also feel kinda great, feel special that I'm part of the very very little amount of people who are the exceptions
I feel like so many of my questions have been answered. But for all you girl commenters, it's not that your guy friend has feelings for you, he's attracted to you. Whether it's physical or emotional or a mix of both can be debated but ultimately, attraction and feelings are not the same.
I think that men and women can be friends if they start thinking of each other as "family". Like sister and brother kind of relationship. And family members never date with each other.
Unless you're into incest
Eddie Wu First of all, you should probably keep that info to yourself unless you don't want a social life anymore. And second, how old was your little sister when you say you were attracted to her before college?
Condoriaano lmao your saying to keep the info to ur ur self while your asking for the age 😂
BLACKRED PINKVELVET well since he was so open to revealing his attraction to his sister, I thought it would be fine to ask how old was his little sister when he started liking her. But I guess he wouldn't reveal it anymore since I told him to keep it to himself haha.
I was just curious if there was something more than incest. Like maybe him liking little girls?
Condoriaano There is a biological reason why siblings naturally aren't sexually attracted to each other and for that to occur siblings have to live together for many years. Turns out that the scent or pheromones of family members subconsciously repulse each other. Nature did it to prevent incest.
I quite like the fact hes saying all of this casually in front of two girls ahahaa
He's right "if I friendzone a girl I'm never gonna hang out with her" every guy thinks like that
Hamza Khairi yepppp same here
Very true. Women expect us to forget our animal instincts. And be soft as flowers. If that was it no babies would be born
@@Stephen-lt1tp you dont have to mingle romance into this, you can be just friends without any sexual attraction
Plus no one needs a baby
Carleeto meepo I guess you missed the whole point of the video. Are speaking from a mans point of view or a women’s? And most men don’t want babies they want to have meaningless sex.... according to you millions of years of male and female evolution is out the window
@@Stephen-lt1tp I dont think ever man out there is going to be after sex, my point is that as long as there is no sexual attraction which there mostly isn't, then a friendship is okay
I think having girls that are friends is just like a tiny attraction that isn't big enough to act on but is nice to have.
Dan is damn war hero! Dude sneaks behind enemy lines, infiltrates their ranks, earns their trust. Enemy Commander Felicia never suspected a thing until it was to late.
i dont believe in men and woman being freinds. some one will always be disappointed.
I know this is an old comment, but it doesn't matter if you "believe" in it or not, you just need an example to prove. And there's lots of examples, including me.
I've been close friends with a woman for 16 years and not once ever tried to date her or get intimate with her. I like her as a close friend, nothing more. I'm also close friends with my ex, despite not having any romantic interest for her any longer.
Osley Sallent so basically man also has unicorn right?
Would you categorize either of the two women as being unattractive? If you did find them physically unattractive would it change your enthusiasm to hang out?
IllumiNada I'm definitely not physically attracted to either one. I'd say one of them is attractive, and the other average, but it doesn't matter, they know me well and I know them well, and share a lot of history with me as friends. That's all that matters. Frankly, I have another woman in my life now who I'm very happy with, so my two female friends will remain just friends as far as I'm concerned, and I wouldn't want to change that.
Okay. But I'm not saying you have to be pursuing sex(and I applaud you for being faithful in your new relationship.) I'm only saying that either you're a unicorn, you do find the two women at least "do-able", or you're not allowing yourself to fully consider that you're just a dude and attractiveness matters.
I hear you Markigirl, and I agree. But you must also agree that if attractiveness, money, status, prestige, etc. have nothing to do with your allure to a partner or enticement toward friendship, then you are in that "decent person" unicorn minority.
*I think he speaks the truth!* Men always have a smallllll bit of attraction.
It doesn't matter because the woman chooses.
A woman doesn't care how much a man is attracted to her; she cares how much SHE is attracted to HIM.
In my opinion women have it too. ;)
If a guy isn't attracted, he's off chasing women he is attracted to and not wasting time with the girl he's not interested in. Sad fact and the same with women who aren't using guys for perks.
@@celticgibson i personally think it's possible because i friends with 3 girls and i never once was attracted to them now obviously there are girls im attracted to but the the 3 i mentioned never once was into them
@@JariSatta that's true for men too
That Anarctica and Mexico analogy was hilarious 😂 Dan pretty much nailed the difference between how men and women approach relationships.
Dan is spot on. I believe that friendship between a man and woman developing into romance is how it SHOULD be done, but it's not realistic to expect it to happen. I know because it's not happening to me right now.
I think if a guy doesn't want to befriend a girl unless he's attracted to her physically, it's because he's not confident enough within himself -- he feels he will be judged by other guys (and maybe girls too) as a failure if he's with a girl that's not particularly attractive. Some girls have the same issue, but many girls don't mind being seen with a less attractive guy because women tend to be nurturing.
Cynthia Balfour-Traill more like women like being the attractive one to feed their vanity.
Today I am celebrating the one-year anniversary of the day I "broke up with my best friend" of 20 years. I found it hilarious that you guys mentioned 20-years in your video, because that was me. Yes, it exists!! I was the one so completely attracted to my best friend, but he never felt that way about me. I held onto the friendship in hopes that one day he'd get that proverbial lightning bolt and see that I was the perfect woman for him ... but it never came. Eventually, I had to do the hardest thing I've ever done and tell him goodbye. I still think about him all the time, and it's still very painful, but my self-respect was rapidly declining and I had to set my boundaries. Haven't seen or heard from him in a year now, and that's the longest we've ever gone without contact. Would I ever do it again? Attempt a platonic friendship with a guy? Probably not. Once bitten, twice shy.
Very interesting and honest comment. So basically you felt the effects of being friendzoned from a male's perspective! Kudos to you for doing what was best for you and your peace!
It wasn't a real friendship then. You used the 'friendship' as a way of trying to get with him. That's not a friendship.
Dan is spot on! Guys may not seek out the friendship for future possibilities, but it just so happens that you become friends because there is some sort of attraction, even if it's just a very minimal bit of attraction. Oh and thanks for starring us at 5:54! Lol we were surprised that the random names you used happen to be ours! Lol
I have alot of platonic relationships with the opposite sex. Nothing wrong with that...however, i noticed men often think of serious relationship than I'd like. When I begin to sense this, I turn ignorant to dissuade it.
@@user-di2on5gl2d lol you need a
Husband so you can move on because almost every guy or woman does this or have done this.
I think a man and woman can be friends but there will always be a moment in time that the man or the woman will be attracted to the other. Either it is fleeting or the person won't want to ruin the relationship because he or she knows that the other person would not be interested or the person is afraid if it goes further and things go south they can't be friends again.
it was actually eye-opening about men's point of view
And this is ALL men except the kind that are hiding it from you and as a result are untrustworthy. Trust guys who are honest about this.
@@celticgibson don't automatically assume that, they could be gay
If in MY eyes she's not attractive attitude personality or physically...shes in the friend zone. I have no interest
Ever since getting married, I don't have any close female friends and my wife doesn't have any close male friends. We have other married couples we are friends with, but it would be really bizarre and unusual, for instance, for me to be hanging out with the wife of one of our married couple friends just one on one. (And vice versa.) At least that has been our experience and we've been happily married for over 10 years!
David Chang thankyou!! Faith in marriages restored!!
Essentially a spot-on video on the psyche of both sexes. Dan also gave a good overview of the historical background leading up to this. There are unicorns, though extremely rare.
One of the reason my past relationship ended, was because I was mad about him texting a girl almost everyday, if not everyday, they just have really long conversations. I talked to him about it, but the problem was never solved. He doubted about the relationship because he thought that I was saying he cannot have any female friends. I thought I was a little being too jealous before so I didn't say anything until I saw him changing the girl's name on the phone to a cute nickname. That totally crossed the line imo. Also, they always text in paragraphs, just reminded me of how we started. And the thing that bugged me the most, was that I saw sparkles in his eyes when he saw her. He has other female friends that I don't mind him hanging out with, but he was just denying the fact that he was obviously attracted to that girl and being mad at me saying I'm overreacting. Also, IMO, if you are truly friends with that person, you will know you shouldn't text them or ask to hang out that often when they are in a relationship.
Exactly 💯..I'm having the same problems now with my partner and his female friend
As long as there's no sexual tension, you can have friends of the opposite gender!
The problem is that usually it is attraction that brings two together in the first place. Men in particular do not go out of their way to make friends with a woman unless there's something that attracts them.
@@celticgibson I'm friends with a girl for the same reason I'm friends with all my guy friends.
Coolfred because you’re normal lol
No sexual atraction of different genders? only if one is gay
Dan is correct.
Nathaniel Mills yh
Friend zone, regardless to guys or girls, is just a zone to escape. Attraction is always a primary ingredient to start a relationship. You can call the chemistry. If someone is attractive to you and you zone him or her, that's just a plain denial to yourself.
Dan made pretty fair analysis about friend zone. You just can't friend zone someone who's attractive to you.
Moon Cake yh
I take it as "yes".
can one guy really speak for all men? not really... coming up: all of dan's female friends are suddenly unavailable to hang out. as far as the study, as you said, it was a small sample, plus we know nothing about what cultural groups, ages, etc.. were represented, so that is not reliable information.
mad dusa however theyr looking at all the opinions online but this is the general view
mad dusa 'all Dan's female friends are suddenly unavailable' lol
mad dusa
Yes, generally we call them representatives.
Their interpretation may not be the conclusive definition for all. However gives you a very good sense of what's applicable to most people in most situations.
Yes guys can be friends with girls but that is an "Initial attraction" a.k.a first impression which is usual in guy:girl friendship.
The "potential attraction" only starts when the guy friend gets isolated with the girl. the more you two spend time together alone, thats where things start to develop. Intimacy is the catalyst of falling for the other person more.
This is true
I think this depends a lot on age. When I was younger, I was much more like Dan described. Now, I value companionship more than anything else. It is great to be able to just relax and enjoy a woman's company without being pressured to make the relationship sexual.
Think it depends on the country too 🤔 when I visited France for a while, I saw a LOT of guy-girl friendships and significant others didn’t seem to really mind, especially if the SOs knew the guys/girls they were hanging out with
I think you're correct on one level that it's hard for guys and girls to be friends. I've experienced it myself when I've tried to be friends with guys in the past but it back fired as they got attracted.... Even today after being married, other guys still find me attractive. So I guess it's about male and female's psychological thinking and how the perceive a relation.
So true about when guys friend zone a girl. Upon reflection I've done this a few times.
Yes indeed
So basically, Dan's saying that all my guy friends have feelings for me,
. Which means more than half my friends have feelings for me WTF
carmen leong He's saying that a guy will never friendzone you, as in he might not like you but he could if given the opportunity
i duno that it means that they are like obsessed with u or stay up late at night staring at a pic of u outlining the shape of ur lips with their finger. its more like they'll be normal friends with u but if one day u came onto one of them they'd easily go with it and get with u no problem.
carmen leong,
Short answer from a guy: If you're a woman I will ALWAYS try and get you in bed. If you can live with that we can be friends👍
Yep I try to tell my daughter that but she won't believe me. I am not trying to scare her off of having guy friends but it is just something present that can't be helped.
and even then for some guys its not that they will TRY to get their female friends in bed. more like they're biding their time and if the girl happens to let things go in that direction, the guy will help it continue there. where as a girl in most cases would be like "oh no your my friend".
guys aren't always lying when they say that they used to like you, but not anymore. I have a friend she's fun to be around but she has some traits that I'm not attracted to, and that makes her a no-go. I saw those later in the "friendship"
Dan pretty much nails it here, good job man
omg i died at “unicorn” lmfao😂😂😂. He does speak truth though lol Guys that friend zone females most likely won’t hang out with them.
I discovered this difference of thinking when I talked to my brother about one of my friends putting him in the friend zone. It took me 2 hours to get him to understand the concept of the friend zone cause he didn't think of a girl who is a friend as not a potential gf but girls won't think of it as a potential if your in the friend zone.
Brilliant video. The guy represented us well... pure truth in the freeked up way we/I work!
This video change my life forever. Not in a good way. Hey Mia we are together.
i'm just here to say that felcia's the best
tiny but you have very big eyes... ;)
Mia is a true Asian girl, tough on the outside but heart of gold!
Yes, men and women absolutely can be friends.
LordVader1094 it is more like yin yang becuz theres man and theres woman
LordVader1094 and if collapsed then it is not yin yang anymore
I have tried to have this conversation, like Dan, with so many of my friends who are girls!! Dan is RIGHT. Guys can be friends with girls, but they DO find you attractive and would be intimate if the opportunity came up.
I agree with Dan. Guys need to be able to show his guy friends of the girl he's hanging out with, and having an unattractive girl as his BFF would totally tank his rep with his guy friends. Besides it's fun for a guy to think he's got even a remotest of chance of be with that girl. It's like Jim Carrey's character in Dumb and Dumber: "You mean I have a chance?"
That's a problem, you(and everyone else) needs to stop worrying about what others think, it doesn't matter what they think about you, you'll all end up dead eventually and then no one will care.
Easier said than done.
Not really, it's quite easy...probably helps how you are raised too.
it'll change when you graduate.
Just so you know, us girls can smell a douche who's only trying to get with us immediately. Stop being a jerk and actual be a person offering friendship to another goddam person.
So many older women who's husbands die end up dating male friends they have known for years.
Totally agree with Dan, such an interesting discussion!
Hahahahah Dan just expossssssed every guy but definitely helpful!
This question is so simple. No need to unnecessarily make it more complicated.
Doesn't matter if the guy friend zones the girl or the girl friend zones the guy. If one of them is romantically attracted to the other, they CANNOT be friends. If there is no romantic attraction between the two, they CAN be friends. This is pretty much the basic foundation for this infamous question. Everything else you guys factor in is just extra variables.
And also let me add one last thing. Staying in the friend zone is destructive for your mental health. You either take action to communicate or take action to bounce. Inaction is the worst choice.
That implies you stay in the friend zone despite WANTING to be in a relationship with the other.
For guys, as outlined in the video, it often is just a minimal attraction, or in the case of a unicorn, nothing really at all. If on the other hand the guy WAS terribly attracted to a girl, pretending to just be friends is unhealthy, I agree:)
That was regarding your last part. What I got from the video is it is a bit more complex than what you are proposing, in that the male side is not equal to the female side of thinking...
Women don’t understand that man’s natural instincts preclude a true friendship if there is an attraction in any way. And if there isn’t, most likely he would rather be friends with another man anyway. If a man agrees to be a friend with a girl, he either is not attracted to her, or he is going along with it hoping she’ll change her view of him.
When you reach your 30's /40's /50's everyone is married or coupled up it's easier to understand the boundaries.
dan with the real talk
As a guy I can somewhat agree... I have a lot of hot friends and some I have had for 15 years and never made any type of attempt despite times where they have made some attempts at sex with me. I could see them as long term partners and have no jealousy when they are in a relationship I just am ok with whatever way the wind blows.. a value exists for having attractive friends.. they usually have attractive friends and you learn a lot about women who are popular or attractive along the way.
As far as i'm concerned, i can only be just friends with a girl which i've... well... friend-zoned.
a girl i meet will eventually end up in 1 of these 3 categories :
- girls i'm attracted to : while i will be "friendly" (as Dan said) with them and might hang around sometimes, i won't ever consider them as just friends as i do see them as potential future girlfriends. ie i cannot truely talk with them or behave around them as i would with my actual friends.
- girls i'm totally not attracted to : the moment i realize there's something i absolutely cannot bear about a girl, i won't even consider being friends with her, not will i even care of having them in my life in whatever possible way.
- girls i friendzone : pretty much the same as if i had a male friend in a female body : i do not care if she farts every 10mn after she had a beer or if she's wearing a sexy dress, she's someone i have fun talking with or having around. while she may (and often) look attractive to others, i personally do not feel romantically attracted to her one bit.
Mia looks so sad by the end of the video
probably because of 15:48
dayumn mia thursty fo dans body
YUP
Magician12345 let's be honest, dan also probably want Mia's body, she hot
Here is a tip: Best way to get foreign friends is to learn their language and participate in all kinds of exchange student meetings. They will be amazed and immediately your friend if you can speak their language very well. So through language learning you can easily have friends opposite sex. (I have tried this using my Japanese and Chinese)
Dan broke it down.. that IS how we think.
What a great topic! And you've handled it SO WELL! He states that it's impossible, except for unicorns, and ...he's right. I would just phrase it a little differently, to make it clear: If you have a man's body, you will always be aware of the sex of your friend. You will always imagine (if you're single) sex with your friend. (Maybe married too.) it's the man's body that causes this "problem." My man's body removes all doubt here: I will always return to the position of wanting sex with a woman, regardless of anything else.
This seems to be limited to straight people, because attraction is discussed as a factor in the relationship, and it seems a little limiting to the discussion. It's like saying that lesbians can't be friends with other women or gay men can't be friends with other men.
Furthermore, this is something I see a lot in American culture: The idea that men and women are not able to be friends without being attracted to each other. I am from Denmark and in a lot of Nordic countries it is not uncommon for men and women to be friends without any attraction being there at all.
Had a gay friend, he was a close friend. i knew he was attracted to me. I also knew he found every other male friend attractive.
Had a lesbian friend in college, we were like brothers. She told me every lesbian girl she knew was attracted in some way to every female friend. And i found her attractive.
Attraction doesnt mean romantic feelings, it just means you find the other person attractive. It doesn't mean you get horny for seeing them.
Neko McEvil correct
married, but have female friends - one of which, off the top of my head, is single - and i have zero attraction to her. would it be different if i was single? i've been single a number of times since university, and have never once thought of making a move on this girl. plutonic relationships are rare, but possible
I won't just randomly call a Girl to hang out and go eat dinner and watch a movie as just friends.
That's called a Date!
Very insightful! Thank you, Dan for peeling back the reasons why a guy is friends with a girl, and explaining (and confirming my suspicions) of why he just doesn’t actively pursue to get himself out of the friend-zone.
And I love your example of 20 years before a guy might make a move.... (speaking from experience - it’s been 17 years!! But things are still unclear as to which direction this “relationship” (or whatever it is) is headed. 😕🤔 Hopefully it’ll all be cleared up soon, in a good way.
I think men and women can't be friends the reason why i say this is because i have a-lot of female friends. but givin enough time together one of the other starts to feel something more for the other person thats just how we humans are when you're friends with a female for a while one you will catch some sort of feelings. Thats nature
Every relationship is different, but one thing remains the same and it's written into our DNA: Sexual attractiveness is what draws us together
This is a much better discussion than most I have seen on this topic. So often it is portrayed as they can't be just friends because the guy always wants more but that's not really true at least not for me. What is more accurate is that the guy will be open for the possibility of more, if it doesn't happen, OK, but there is always potential. There are times where a woman can be "just one of the guys" but that's s usually as part of a larger group and so more has to do with the collective nature of the group than her as an individual I think .
If guys are only friends with girls because they want to hook up and ditch them as soon as there's no attraction, and say that there's no point in being friends with a girl if you're not attracted to her, then why isn't that the same with guy friends, who you're definitely not attracted to? Like why is friendship with guys valuable but not friendship with girls you're not attracted to? (Assuming all involved are straight)
Imagine you are friendzoned by a guy you really like and you still have to see him and talk to him every so often since you have the best conversation with this guy and you don't wanna lose him in any way.
This makes me trust my male friends a lot less. Fantastic.
they won't cross boundaries in most cases
Answer before it starts, yes you can. My best friend is a girl, and we are just friends. I have many female friends. Even if I have had crushes on some girls that aren't in my inner circle, I let it go.
im a guy and i have plently of female friends who i consider unattractive. I like hanging out with them even more because i'm not constantly thinking about boning them. anyone else?
Dude is an OG, he just mindfucked them both, friendzone he is in, much closer he became!
😆 He may of snuck his way closer
He's cute hehe
Dan: I’m not your friend, I’m friendly with you. 😂 Love it! 1000% true! 🙌🏽
This problem doesn't seem to arise at universities. I guess men have been told to accept women, so they actually talk to them like human beings at university.
I think they are just speaking for themselves, not generally from a gender. That guy is so freaking confident, but he's just speaking for himself.
I friendzoned a friend of mine and we are still talking and hanging out. We see each other as siblings.
This is such a ridiculous question. Yes, men and women can be platonic friends. I'm sick and tired of this stereotype being perpetuated.
sure guys and girls can be just friends, i got basically nothing but girl-friends, however he is right, typically us guys do find our girl-friends attractive in some way. No that attraction doesnt need to be physical either. It could be just personality that a guy is attracted to.
I love your talking videos!! you always make simple topics interesting :-)
so who want to be friend zone with mia? cause I sure as hell dont!!!
Speaking as a girl who's been friendzoned after telling the guy I liked him, Dan's wrong on this. We were still really good friends after (past tense here because I'm just terrible at keeping up friendships, even with my female friends)
Everything Dan said is right.
I mean, whatever anyone says, all you need to prove men and women can be friends is one example. Here's one: me.
I really appreciate your honesty 😃 so true. At last someone said the truth
My guyfriend told me he only initially started being my friend cause he thought he had a shot. Then he realized it was never goin to happen, especially when I got a boyfriend but stuck around cause he realised I'm a nice person (his words) we've been friends for 7 years
So according to this guy, my friend is just hanging around because he still has hope?
@Lipgloss 2000 yes, sounds like he wants/wanted a relationship. He was probably hoping you quickly broke up with your bf at least in the initial stage of your friendship :) Now after 7 years, its hard to tell if he feels the same. He could have simply: 1. given up/is on the brink of giving up hope by now(but still interested in a relationship with you), 2. has actually come to see you as a friend and as such wont want to think dirty of you, much less have sexual relations with you (generally depending on the stuff you talk about and how flirty or non flirty your convos are), or 3. might consider a friends with benefits relationship if you bring it up, because he still finds you sexually attractive. There are a few other possibilities for example 4. He could still be interested in a relationship with you but will readily accept a friends with benefits relationship as its the next best deal after a normal bf/gf relationship :). You may be confused as what to do now but I suggest you keep him as a friend if you cannot gauge his interest level or he tells you explicitly or indirectly that you're more like a sister to him
@@roderickobiri9075 thank you for your response 🤗
@@tiegz9770 👍🏽
OMG, I saw Dan outside in the Chinese New Year festival in Flushing, I saw him on a float thing, he prob didn't even see my but.....I CAN STILL SAY THAT I MET A TH-camR
It's usually easier to be friends with guys just for the emotional support if nothing else. Us guys actually get where each other is coming from, understand nuance, have this thing called *_Empathy_* and can check each other when we get out of line, without so much judgment involved.
Many women will say they want a guy who's emotionally vulnerable and in touch with his emotions - but I've found that they only want that when it's convenient and makes them feel like they are nurturing. The minute it becomes inconvenient, they'll turn that _perceived_ vulnerability against you in a way that makes them look stunning and brave to their friends. Worst case, they'll suggest that you were emotionally abusing them.
Perfect Example: My last life partner died of liver failure, and I realized I had kept my emotions pushed down, so in this last relationship, I decided to be more open, trusting, emotionally vulnerable, etc. And we actually discussed that at length. She has a lot of masculine energy and seemed to have things figured out, so I trusted her with WAY too much (we are talking, like, strapon level of trust, weeks of preparation, the works, since it's something she needs to be able to do in a relationship... And honestly, once you trust a woman with *_that_* , you as a guy feel like you can trust them with literally anything). Now, I'm _really_ picky about who I get with. I look at the person first and their looks second. I'm objectively not some simplistic, shallow dude.
On my end, I inadvertently triggered past trauma she had with ex-boyfriends beating her up, something she hadn't been honest with me about. On her end, she flat-out betrayed my trust, hinted to her friends on Instagram that I was emotionally abusing her, and even suggested, when she broke up with me, to her friends that: "it got physical". She's the leader of Florida Strongwoman. Said she "had to set an example for women" as some sort of excuse. What a _terrible_ example.
Of anyone I'd ever been with, she was the _last_ one I would have expected that from. I forgave her for it all, however, nope, nope, *_Nope_* . Not doing that again! :) I'm actually seeing a female therapist now to move on from that since I don't want that experience to impact future relationships, something else I would recommend to any guy - if you get burned like that, see a therapist. It's validating, a _good_ therapist will challenge your beliefs about things, and it helps a lot. I recommended that she see one as well to deal with her past so she can move forward and not be so afraid of relationships, but that's on her... I doubt she even read my email since now I'm the 'bad guy'.
Oh well, life goes on. I do feel bad for her though regardless. She deserves good things in this life, especially since she's gone through so much...
Dan is great! Loving how accurate he tries to open their eyes!
I agree with both sides. But I believe there may be more unicorns in this world!!
Be honest with each other. Make your expectations clear from the start, and these "unspoken" feelings and rules wont be as much of an issue. As a guy, let a girl know right away that youre looking for a potential partner, but its also on you to move on if she says no. For girls, its on you to not lead guys on. Dont start hanging out with a guy, if you have no intention of being anything more than acquaintance/friends.
Guy here in an actual platonic relationship with a woman( for over 10 years now).
We actually talked about this openly and we know where we both stand. I will say this: Dan is right. The attraction is there (on my part, it's not reciprocal), but not the need to act on it. However, if things were to change, I'm not gonna say no.
I think things are different when the guy does have the need to act out his instincts. Those would not maintain such a relationship but move on once a suitable partner has been found.
My heart is so happy right now...
Psychologically women need a man. Their hind brain tells them to find companions. This is a survival mechanism. This is why women can't see the male perspective on this. Men don't need a large network of friends to survive the same way a woman might need to. This is why most cultures before the 1950s did not allow women and men to mingle casually. Biology makes it confusing even if you want to make a concious choice to not cheat on your partner, the threat of having a 1 night fling when either is vulnerable is a possibility. Most people always wonder if the grass is greener and may even think to themselves that it's not but we are all fallable
I think time plays a huge role in this. I've developed a friendship with my ex-wife. Like a genuine friendship. It's like we did the relationship thing and moved past it to friendship. Ten years is a long time, love can change into a more family like relationship. Agree, disagree?
I'm a straight male, and i'm friends with females. just yesterday I went to eat dinner with 3 of my best female friends, but i don't see them as potential lovers or anything like that. I do think they're pretty, but thats just it.
What really annoyed me in school is how with all my female friends they thought we were a couple. Annoying.
It's.....really very true.
Dan is completely right in the sense that guys will be friends with girls for the potential or the fact that they are attracted to them even if they never pursue them romantically. Perhaps its something not all guys are aware of and girls can understand BUT he's definitely right about his assertion.
So is Dan friends with Mia and Felicia? What's the relationship?
Singulitarian threesome
I'm a girl and I completely agree with the fact that men and women can't
be friends. And I get so annoyed with girls being in denial or getting
absolutely baffled about this fact! The thing is, girls can perceive a
guy as a "brother". But a guy will not percieve you as a "sister" if you
are an atractive woman! There will be sexual tension and thats what
girls don't get! That men has for ex waay higher testosteron for ex that
will make him feel stuff etc. Its in their dna!
What I wonder is
though, what about guy friends that already has a girlfriend? Some sa
its safer to be friends with guys thats taken, because he already has
someone he can still his urges with so to speak?
As a guy, I think there are situations where that guy could be right - and situations where it doesn't fit.
If the guy approaches the girl and 'befriend' her, then there's high possibility of the 1st case scenario will play out as he described.
But if it was an encounter by chance and there are things we have in common, I've kept those friends for a long time while not finding them attractive.
I'd be more careful about speaking on behalf of all guys.
Honestly, as a guy, some of my best friends were girls who I was specifically not attracted to. Like, for me, it seems hard to be friends with a girl who I am attracted to because the fact I'll always want to be more than friends will dilute any actual friendship.
Most of the girls who I'm friends with are people I'm not attracted to because of this.
However, I must say this has been my experience over the last several years where I haven't been considering getting into a relationship.
I've noticed more recently, having started to feel a stronger affinity towards having a relationship, I've begun to lean slightly more towards what Dan is saying here.
Although it's not always the case for every guy, at all times, there is definitely truth what he says.
Dan is spot on 10/10 absolutely right. Ps Felicia is a 10 😍
The more I spend time with a girl the more I like her
Dan Is right on some part.. Yeah, most guys don't want to spend time with girls if they don't have interest in them. but guys also blocks the possible moves from girls if they do not find any interest in her.
best explanation ever am a guy and it's mostly true like 99.9%
Well this is hilariously ironic. You say men and women can't be friends, but it seems like you are pretty good friends.