Are Opposite Sex Friendships Okay?

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 83

  • @VirgoDluxe
    @VirgoDluxe 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +34

    I had an issue with my husband asking his single female friend advice on an issue we were having. She told my husband that I was a Narcissist 🙄 and some other not so favourable things. To say the least, when I found out I was not impressed. Planting seeds of discourse within my marriage is something I do not take lightly. Suffice to say, I made it very clear to my husband that our problems are not for the ears of your female friends, especially the single ones. It’s not wise counsel and can lead down a destructive path. To say the least, she can never be in my presence again. She’s clearly not a friend to the marriage, or me.

  • @Confessions089
    @Confessions089 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    When trust is broken, throw the whole relationship in the trash. You can't come back from that. It's like breaking a plate and then gluing it back together. Why do we tell people they need to heal (becoming a whole plate, not shattered or broken) then expect them to stay in a broken relationship where all trust has been crushed. That's why people are bitter. I don't care what anyone says about it. Those people that have those marriage success stories after infidelity are a lie. At least one person is bitter, while the other one is enjoying themselves.

  • @tneita3166
    @tneita3166 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    In man/woman situation there is "ALWAYS "
    The danger zone,,,. Have a good day,,,.

  • @m_jay5
    @m_jay5 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    NO! An opposite sex "friend" will become the shoulder to cry on when things hit a rough patch in the marriage and then the devil will open up all the doors to infidelity and an affair. You're playing with fire by having "friends" of the opposite sex in the confines of marriage. I don't care if this approach sounds old school or if haters try and say to me that "you're just an abusive, insecure, jealous, controlling, manipulative person for doing this. Don't you trust your wife?" You bet I do, but I also know that very rarely does a man stay "friends" with a woman who he doesn't have feelings for. And worse of all I can't help but feel those opposite sex "friends" are just waiting in the wings licking their chops for their turns just hoping your marriage will fail. So you bet I see any of these opposite sex "friends" in the confines of a marriage as a threat. I'm about to hit my 30s and still waiting for God's timing to bless me with the wife he has in store for me in His time, but I for one will be making sure I have no other friends of the opposite sex in the picture at all except her. Can't risk any temptations like this. A Christian marriage needs to be guarded/defended like your life depends on it because it literally does. And that means sacrificing existing friendships with the opposite sex so the devil can't tempt you with infidelty and having an affair. Sadly most of my millennial generation doesn't seem to understand this concept.

    • @Confessions089
      @Confessions089 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Exactly!

    • @Godcomesthrough
      @Godcomesthrough 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Well said. You are preparing well with a healthy mindset for protecting that desire of your heart, which God is willing to give you!

    • @minajan4316
      @minajan4316 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Amen 😊 I totally agree 💯

    • @m_jay5
      @m_jay5 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @YG-lq3fc It's been a long wait, I hold out hope now being 31

    • @GBU61
      @GBU61 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      You will have a successful marriage because you understand and enforce boundaries.

  • @davidnichols1568
    @davidnichols1568 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Don't worry he is just a friend. (Lye)!

  • @GBU61
    @GBU61 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    There is an easy way to avoid this mess as a man. Do not date, or take any woman seriously who has male friends. If she values the marriage, I am the only non-family male she has a relationship with or there is no relationship.

    • @JB-pd3ir
      @JB-pd3ir 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I personally do have opposite sex friends but anyone interested in me would know that right away as I would introduce them probably pretty soon. So if I were dating you, you could then tell me you do not believe I this and at that time we can part ways as you say. You are right always date those with the same values as you.

  • @extacyl6926
    @extacyl6926 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    As a guy, I’m now strictly against having female friends. It’s too much unnecessary conflict putting up with guys I don’t want to be bothered with or who don’t want to be bothered with me, it has nothing to do with romance or sex.

    • @m_jay5
      @m_jay5 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      There's only one female friend a man needs and thats his girlfriend or wife

  • @dustinquinton
    @dustinquinton 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    If it causes conflict in your marriage, pick which one is more important. Your marriage, or your opposite sex friend? I would pick my marriage.

    • @newzealand_travelstories_a8684
      @newzealand_travelstories_a8684 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Well, my partner picked his opposite sex friend as more important than me. He said his independence is more important than his relationship.

    • @dustinquinton
      @dustinquinton ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@newzealand_travelstories_a8684 Actions speak louder than words. I would have told him, “Bye. We would have made a great couple.” You dodged a bullet. And no, you were not being controlling. I’m sure someone will bring that up. People always say that when someone sets a boundary.

    • @suttonfarms2343
      @suttonfarms2343 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes, 100%

    • @MKA63
      @MKA63 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Depends on whether you are with a narc or not, or what exactly is the nature of the relationship with your significant other?
      If you are aware enough as the perpetrator, you could stand back and ask, so what is this friend fulfilling that is not in the relationship?
      That's a healthy way to look at it. The decision to work it out with the significant other comes at the expense of the friend, more so if it's been relatively long term. Don't forget the friend remains in hope that circumstances will change and otherwise doesn't cross physical boundaries (I know that doesn't apply to everyone reading this).
      All I'm saying is that there is a reason it happened in the first place - if the attraction is strong, the friend is hanging their hope on that. I was the friend and eventually got stonewalled - hurt like hell.

    • @dustinquinton
      @dustinquinton 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@MKA63 basically, it’s a partner prioritizing their wants over your needs. The need for a partner to feel emotionally secure and valued in a relationship. If you advise your partner that it is causing issues, and they still chose the friend, that’s ok. The next thing I would tell them is, “You have the right to choose. I don’t control you. Bye.” There are always consequences for someone’s actions.

  • @Godcomesthrough
    @Godcomesthrough ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I do not believe there is ANY point in having 'friends' of the opposite sex when married! There can't be anything to those friendships because it is not healthy to hang out with them alone, have conversations with them alone, or even share personal things with...so that really wouldn't leave anything to those 'friendships'. The spouse is the one who deserves the time, the fun, the personal talks, and such. I would want that from my spouse and by him treating our relationship/marriage with boundaries and protection, it is precious to me and show me he values it. And I have already practiced boundaries with other men even before I'm married

  • @robertrosales9641
    @robertrosales9641 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    You explained it well
    I’ve been married 17 this past Jan
    And 6 beautiful kids
    My wife hasn’t worked in 16 1/2
    And she got hired at the school were my daughters go and I work there too
    Well she has been developing a friendship with a trainer there who is half her age and close to my daughters ( he has a lot of similarities) cool guy
    I brought up a couple concerns that I felt were over stepping boundaries 1. Was texting all the time and since littering New Year’s Day this has been a make it or break it half year for me that I never went through. We hardly talk- no intimacy- no sex-we drive in separate cars all the time (not my choice) just nothing but BS
    I’m doing counseling for myself but she don’t want to do as a couple. All I know is that God don’t bring us together and all the ups and downs of our marriage he is not gonna let us be ripped apart over some “you haven’t been there emotionally there for me” I can’t read your mind, say something and that doesn’t give her the right to go to someone else and get that- she makes me feel like she has given up on me and that isn’t cool. Just venting

  • @MariaPerez-sb1xp
    @MariaPerez-sb1xp 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Opposite sex friends: never test the waters for something that's not waterproof.

  • @nadinevivasha8355
    @nadinevivasha8355 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Great video. Thank you very much. Its really helpful.

    • @jaseclark9916
      @jaseclark9916 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I guess im randomly asking but does anybody know of a trick to get back into an Instagram account..?
      I was stupid forgot my login password. I love any help you can offer me

  • @jaydixson1731
    @jaydixson1731 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Yep. My wife gave me the LIE , my friendship is like a brother / sister with my best friend, except their relationship was covert. They never mentioned much but All of a sudden they were best friends, I ended up De Friending my best friend of 30 plus years who was single. Too slippery for me

    • @m_jay5
      @m_jay5 ปีที่แล้ว

      If a boyfriend or girlfriend has friends of the opposite sex, THEY ARE NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE! More infidelty or affairs (emotional and physical) are caused by this scenario alone than anything else! Don't allow it to happen in the first place! The world viewpoint says a person is abusive, insecure, jealous, controlling, manipulative for not wanting their boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse to have friends of the opposite sex - I CALL IT PROTECTING AND HAVING RESPECT FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP / MARRIAGE!

  • @suttonfarms2343
    @suttonfarms2343 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Fantastic advice! Love it.

  • @PacificN.W.
    @PacificN.W. 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    ...forsaking all others means what then?

  • @adelinenathan6739
    @adelinenathan6739 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    We have long distance relationship, when i visit him....he really forget myexist. he only talk and spent hours with his opposite sex friend. Untill they touching hands together and one car together , i only watching far away. When i talk my dislike, he only said that was my negative thinking. What im supposed to do??

    • @SD-gq2ld
      @SD-gq2ld 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Take serious steps. Talk to him. End it if he is not listening to you.

    • @trevorh5207
      @trevorh5207 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Just end it now. Too much disrespect already. I swear you will look back and wonder why you stayed as long as you did

    • @Confessions089
      @Confessions089 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Detach and release him into the wild. Let him have and do what he wants to do. You're not obligated to have to deal with that. If you're not comfortable with it and your spouse insists, he is disrespecting your wishes as his wife. He has already put that relationship above the marriage, and it will never work out. Unless you're the type that doesn't care and you engage in those same practices.

  • @hollywarehouse7938
    @hollywarehouse7938 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I agree with comment below. Does this apply to long term non married relationships? I wear a ring, and live one door away. I’m 50/ he’s 60yrs old.
    I agree 100% with content, I’m having a hard time with my boyfriend of 2 years, spending 7 days with a childhood friend. That I never heard of until a week before she came. I guess they stay in touch on Facebook.
    I was lead to believe, it was going too be like when his other friends visit. Who have been male. And it’s not like the male visits at all.
    He’s taking her to his work, and with him to his boy beer. (Where he hangs out with guys once a week)
    Their doing things-even I don’t do. Literally spending every minute together. I feel very uncomfortable, and hurt.
    He’s saying this is normal, and ITS MY PROBLEM, I’m just jealous and insecure. I need to DEAL WITH IT.
    You made a valid point, if I would’ve been told, I wouldn’t feel so threatened. Now I have to figure out if I’m going move on. Or not.
    I’m saving this video! So glad I found it. Thank you

    • @JulieBtv
      @JulieBtv  5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hey Holly! Thanks for watching! These points absolutely apply to long term non-married relationships. So glad you gained insights from this video! You may find even more helpful info watching another video of mine on this topic: th-cam.com/video/eiCEbycT--4/w-d-xo.html

    • @user-ee5om8wy7u
      @user-ee5om8wy7u 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I think he is talking already in the wrong way. Your hurt feelings may be unreasonable, but they are still feelings and he has zero concern for your feelings. He literally let you know that your feelings are none of his concern!!!!! Big Red Flag!!!! It's not wrong to hang out with other friends, but it is wrong to mislead someone (or lie by omission of important information).
      Take a break. You just tell him your feelings changed and you are confused about what you feel and need to take a 2-3 months break away from him to figure out your mind. Find a place for that. Maybe you want to be single again and you are not sure...... Then move out and think hard are you happy and secure in this relationship 100% of the time or are you not? If not, it's not good for you and you should break up. It doesn't matter if your feelings are reasonable or not, what matters is that your feelings are positive and happy in a relationship and his feelings as well.
      So, you can tell him: "yes, you are correct that it is my problem if I feel insecure. And you are correct that I have to deal with it on my own, especially since you are not interested in helping me. And I DO want to deal with this problem and I WILL because I can't be happy like this. However, to deal with this problem, I need to take a break and distance from a relationship for 3 months and figure out what is acceptable to me and want is not.
      Again, if he didn't even say sorry for misunderstanding or miscommunication that took place nor tried to inform you and invite you in all his engagements with other people but blatantly let you know he doesn't give a F*** about whatever it is that you feel - MOVE ON! YOU NEED SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS(not necessarily avoiding female friends but always including you and communicating clearly!).

    • @ronb9901
      @ronb9901 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You were completely disregarded & disrespected. What was the outcome??

    • @annmurtagh5323
      @annmurtagh5323 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Talking to my daughters partner who referred to his *friend*, would I be right in thinking something going on?

  • @bikerboy9010
    @bikerboy9010 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I believe there's nothing wrong with married people having opposite sex friends, but it's important for married people to have safeguards, boundaries, etc with opposite sex friends to help prevent adultery from occurring. Good safeguards, boundaries, etc to have are not having opposite sex friendships that are "too close" (what I mean by "too close" is spending too much time together alone, talking on the phone together every day for personal reasons, going out to lunch together just the 2 of you 3-5 times a week, etc), not being behind closed doors alone with someone of the opposite sex that isn't your spouse or a relative, not going on vacations alone with someone of the opposite sex that isn't your spouse or a relative, not counseling someone of the opposite sex that's having marriage problems unless a 3rd person is with the 2 of you, and ideally hanging out with opposite sex friends in group settings.
    I believe that when a married man is having marriage problems, it's best for him to talk to his male friends about his marriage problems or married couples he knows with great marriages about his marriage problems. I believe when a married man is having marriage problems, he shouldn't talk to a female alone about his marriage problems because when someone is having marriage problems, they're very vulnerable to having an affair. When a married male is having marriage problems and he talks to a female alone about his marriage problems, and she helps him, comforts him, etc, it can easily lead to an unhealthy emotional attachment, which can easily lead to an affair.

  • @뉴비-h9p
    @뉴비-h9p 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    6:09

  • @vernabryant2894
    @vernabryant2894 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I have a friend who told me that her husband wanted to invite his house keeper to thanksgiving dinner.They talk a lot when they are together about life's problems.Do you think this is an emotional relationship?

    • @user-ee5om8wy7u
      @user-ee5om8wy7u 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I think if you cannot talk about or resolve problems in your relationship with your significant other and need friends to talk to instead about your life problems - that already means your relationship is dead and toxic and wrong for you. However, if they invite a friend to include them in your conversations(about life problems) that the two of you already have together, then that's fine. If they want to talk to their friend separately from you and enjoy that time more than the time talking to you (they enjoy that time with a friend more NOT when they say they do BUT when they spend more time with them than they spend with you even if they say/claim they enjoy spending time with you more ) - in that case, then take a break from a relationship(2-3 months away) and give them time to figure out if they want to give their friend more time and attention than to you OR NOT and if they do, you'll choose not to stay in such a relationship while also prepare yourself mentally during this break to end things if it ends as the latter option.

    • @emilyearl1858
      @emilyearl1858 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Could also possibly be a humble gesture

    • @Confessions089
      @Confessions089 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes.

  • @CutebabyDestiney
    @CutebabyDestiney 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love this insight💕💕 thank you

  • @devin3607
    @devin3607 ปีที่แล้ว

    Very wise.

  • @waynemcmillan5970
    @waynemcmillan5970 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Marvellous advice

  • @williampleasant9563
    @williampleasant9563 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    The answer is No

  • @MariaPerez-sb1xp
    @MariaPerez-sb1xp 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Just picture that cartoon of a dog who's only thinking about his bone to chew on 24/7. That's exactly how men only think about that organ between their legs to fulfill their desires.

    • @badgirlhollywood9741
      @badgirlhollywood9741 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes I hate and wouldn’t condone my boyfriend ever having a female friend who is a “best” friend

  • @ceceparis9793
    @ceceparis9793 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great video

    • @JulieBtv
      @JulieBtv  5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you Cece!

  • @Monoplacophora
    @Monoplacophora 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Damn smart

  • @joesoap8125
    @joesoap8125 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    not a good idea. most modern men wont get into a thing with a woman with lots of guys friends. long term? not worth it. talking to someone else about marriage issues that is of the opposite sex, unless a therapist, is preparing to self indulge. if one wants to remain attached one should not go there. gay friends might be ok but even that's a bit suspect now a days because there are so many grey areas there in the modern world

    • @JB-pd3ir
      @JB-pd3ir 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Probably should not talking about your marriage issues with any friends (it is embarrassing to the other partner and as they are your friend probably would not give unbiased advice). Better to just go to a counselor.

  • @jaylove9208
    @jaylove9208 ปีที่แล้ว

    Can my girlfriend to be friends with the guy she had sex with? Even tho she discussed with me about their boundaries. It seems pretty solid boundaries.

    • @LAC32Griffin
      @LAC32Griffin ปีที่แล้ว +2

      lol hell nah dude

    • @nickdipaolofan5948
      @nickdipaolofan5948 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      The "boundary" should be that she doesn't associate with men who are not related to her or directly work with her and especially any dude who has dated her or nutted in her.................

    • @Blondiee777
      @Blondiee777 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      From a woman...hell nooo

  • @janetsteppe2331
    @janetsteppe2331 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    All of this

  • @user-ee5om8wy7u
    @user-ee5om8wy7u 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I DO believe in friendships between opposite sexes under two conditions(restrictions) only:
    1- always outside of physical proximity with one-on-one time spending;
    2- with a significant other (if a friend has one) always involved!

    • @newrube77
      @newrube77 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Totally agree and I would add to your point #1 that - Even though telephone and texting conversations are outside physical proximity, those one on one conversations with that opposite sex "friend" still need to be closely paid attention to.

  • @kerrijohnstone7588
    @kerrijohnstone7588 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Yes absolutely, if your faith in God is strong enough, you can and SHOULD enjoy friendships with both sexes, but I DO agree with what you have said about “boundaries”. There have to be boundaries.

    • @sadifdg2930
      @sadifdg2930 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      We can't be perfect even if your faith is stronger but you can't control your heart

  • @nicolebotes8949
    @nicolebotes8949 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    from a faith perspective no its not ok. i have only seen in my life and in other's lives where lines are too easily blurred. just a bad idea. stick to your partner.

  • @natalietho948
    @natalietho948 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Inappropriate

  • @icysnow57cold64
    @icysnow57cold64 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I don't think the romantic type of love is special. And I am started to think that the romantic type of love isn't real. I mean about more than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other, while most platonic best friends remain friends until death.
    Also, most people are pretty much comfortable enough to be naked around someone and have sex with someone that they have no romantic feelings towards. So sex isn't really a thing about romance.
    I think that having a platonic best friend is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse is. Having someone who's like a sibling to you is a lot better than having a romantic partner is. Also, you would more likely be much closer to a person who's like a brother or sister to you than you would be with a partner or spouse.
    People tend to fight with their partner or spouse a lot more than they do with a platonic best friend, and you never fight with your best friend the way you fight with your partner or spouse. Partners and spouses are just temporary. If you break up or divorce them, it's hard to go back to them. With your platonic best friend, you're going to make things work, because they are your best friend, they are your go to partner. It's always easier to make amends with them than it is with a romantic partner or spouse.

    • @icysnow57cold64
      @icysnow57cold64 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Also, there are a lot of toxic romantic relationships, while there isn't that many toxic platonic relationships. Like an example is that abuse happens a lot in romantic relationships, while abuse is rare in platonic relationships. So there is a lot of abusive romantic relationships, while there is isn't that many abusive platonic relationships.
      Why do you think abusive romantic relationships have a term for them called "domestic violence", while abusive platonic relationships don't have a term for them? It's because abuse in platonic relationships are very rare, while abuse in romantic relationships happens a lot.
      And also, a lot of people cheat on their romantic partners with someone else, while most people won't do stuff like that with their platonic best friends.
      Also, I heard that most people can live a life without romance and can still be happy. But most of the time, if someone doesn't have any platonic friends in their life, it can effect them really bad mentally; much worse than living a life without a romantic partner. In today's world, less people are dating and getting married now, and they seem to be more happy being single rather than being in romantic relationship with someone.
      Also, you're going to have a much deeper spoken understanding and connection with your best friend than you are with a romantic partner or spouse.
      So those are other reasons why romantic love isn't real or special, while platonic love is.

    • @Nikki-nm8em
      @Nikki-nm8em 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@icysnow57cold64 I agree and also I felt that really deep because I'm asexual

    • @icysnow57cold64
      @icysnow57cold64 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Nikki-nm8em Platonic relationships and romantic relationships may be two entirely different things, but that doesn't mean they are equal when it comes to the amount of love given in them. The love in platonic relationships seems to be way stronger than the love in romantic relationships are since platonic relationships are not fragile like romantic relationships are. Also, platonic relationships also seem to be a lot more intimate and comfortable than romantic relationships are. Platonic love is one of the most purest forms of love there is, while romantic love is one of the least purest forms of love there is.
      Most people seem to be a lot more comfortable around their platonic best friends than they are around their romantic partners or spouses. A platonic best friend is more likely to be protective of you and have your back and look out for you than a romantic partner or spouse is.
      The concept of romantic love and romantic relationships seems to mostly be a man-made thing.

    • @giulias.5104
      @giulias.5104 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That's a childish thinking. Becoming mature means also to recognize your own projections towards your spouse and being able to embrace both romanticism and presence/reality.

    • @icysnow57cold64
      @icysnow57cold64 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@giulias.5104 I just don't see how romance is a good thing.
      It seems that fathers usually hate it whenever their daughter gets a boyfriend (even if the boyfriend is a good guy), and it seems that they often hate the idea of their daughter dating, and many fathers seem against the idea of their daughters dating. There are even shirts made for daughters that say "I'M NOT ALLOWED TO EVER DATE" and shirts made for fathers that say "Dads against daughters dating".
      There's also a lot of other shirts and merchandise made for fathers that say stuff like "Rules for dating my daughter: #1. You can't!" or "Before you date my daughter, know this: I'm a dad with a shotgun, a shovel, and a backyard."
      Most fathers don't want their daughters to have anything to do with boys outside of being friends. Many fathers won't allow their daughters to date when they are in high school or still living with them.
      So it seems that most fathers don't ever want their daughters to find love and be in a romantic relationship with someone.
      So those could also be other reasons why the concept of romantic relationships isn't a good thing because of how protective fathers tend to be whenever their daughter dates someone since they are afraid that the boyfriend will be a pervert that will make their daughter uncomfortable (also break her heart or abuse her).