Tell me one positive thing that fuels you and one negative thing that fuels you, I'll start: 1. I feel really good when I help people understand something new. 2. I am constantly worried that someone else is going to do the thing I thought of before I do it, and that will mean I'm not special.
1. Knowing there are people who like me and are rooting for me and want me to be happy, and that I'll make them happy by succeeding. 2. Happiness is the best revenge. Also, see you at podcon tomorrow!
1. I feel motivated when I feel connected to nature and my goals of protecting it. 2. I'll eventually do a thing if my parents nag me enough (understand I'm 30), out of a sense of guilt and obligation that tastes bitter.
1. Experiencing new things because they make me think more deeply and complexly about the world 2. Experiencing new things because I think it validates my existence and will make others think I'm cool and confident
1. I really enjoy helping people troubleshoot and seeing the light in their eyes once they figured out the solution. 2. The fear that I have not actually smart and that my accomplishments mean nothing
In therapy the most productive moments come after using unhealthy fuel. It's like overcoming anxiety or PTSD - you must sit with discomfort eventually. That doesn't mean you should deliberately do so if you aren't ready, or wallow in depression. As we say in Buddhism, the lotus grows out of the mud and detritus. Unhealthy fuel such as anger and frustration can be a powerful impetus for positive change. A part of why I work in healthcare is I was angry for decades about having had horrible doctors and therapists. I used my anger to find purpose. I'd argue too, Hank, that positive fuels can also become negative. Doing good deeds while excluding your own to the point where you suffer *is* negative. Healthy fuels can lead to unhealthy outcomes if we do not use them wisely.
I agree. Sometimes, burning unhealthy fuel is the healthiest thing you can do -- because it's better than burning no fuel at all. I also feel like sometimes you have to burn the unhealthy fuel in order to get rid of it, do you agree?
This fits my experience really well. PTSD for me has involved motivating myself with a lot of "I can't let that person win" and "I don't want others to suffer how I did" which can look healthy / unhealthy at first glance but are more nuanced and both excellent motivators. Spite alone got me to a good place, when I finally transitioned to healthier fuels, I was amazed at how well I had been doing on spite alone.
@@eliontheinternet3298 Fire gives life and sustenance. It can also kill. It's rarely the fault of the tinder when it does either. Forest fires and burns serve a purpose ecologically. So do unhealthy or healthy fuels for the human mind. The problem is when either goes unchecked. We also have to get rid of fuel somehow, as you say. Anxiety goes nowhere if we do not sit with it and focus it. That's why both CBT and physical activity help with it so much. This is why I think healthy and unhealthy are very relative ideas, to be honest. Pointless positive thinking in the face of the opposite which ignores a current situation is bad; if it brings no self-satisfaction or self-awareness it can be dangerous, too. Love without boundaries is also dangerous especially when it breeds codependency and mires people in abuse, and I consider love one of the most profound and healthy fuels on the planet. For instance, agreeing to do tasks to help others past the point you are burnt out is also an unhealthy fuel, though compassion and doing good in the world are 100% vital. I would argue more that we need to redefine what is healthy and unhealthy more than anything. As for myself, I spent many years in abusive situations and my health deteriorated. I became angry, and that anger fueled me going to school and going off disability. Anger is not necessarily positive or negative - it's what we *do* with the fuel that is. Even now when I struggle I remember that anger, and while I hope to never have that much currency in it again, I use those memories as motivation and positive fuel. We humans are mortal and we all can easily succumb to our hubris; the real issue is how do we use unhealthy or healthy fuels, and what do we create with them - or what we destroy with them. We need fuel to survive...including the unhealthy kind.
I mean, I've worked in the power industry all my adult life and was very keen to hear Hank discuss the nuances of the betterment to society that has been achieved through fossil fuels thus far and while we need to transition away from them ASAP, if we do so too quickly it will cause energy prices to spike which disproportionately affects the poor and what not. But yeah, this is good too.
1. I really want to do a good job when I have an idea that my wife responds really well to. 2. I tend to work harder when I feel like the entirety of something is on my shoulders because I can't rely on the people around me. (Edit) Thought of two more. 1. When I can teach someone something that will help them. 2. When I think I can do something better and faster than someone, so I step in and do it for them instead of guiding them.
I, watching this video after having a stress-induced breakdown in the middle of my finals questioning my whole career/future path, am very grateful for this whole series of videos and conversation. as for the moment, the one unhealthy fuel that's keeping me going is fear of failure and HAVING to do things I absolutely despise. stress, if that can be considered a fuel. thing is unhealthy fuels burn through u, not for u and leave u empty. My healthy fuels are my extreme passion for learning. learning any and everything. Also sharing my passion with people. helping people.
As "Video Essay" becomes a more popular and accepted term (if not academically then publicly), allow me to introduce a new form of media: Video Dialectic. Of course, the Brothers Green are in a unique situation to perform this type of discussion (see also: the Batman debate), I think it can take on a purpose in online discussion. It also reminds me of the days of video replies. When did those go away, 2011? Anyways, I look forward to more brotherly "republiques" in the future
I don’t have a Twitter but I want to play along! This is about one thing I pursue in particular, as I think most People’s are. 1. I just freaking love what I do. I get happy to be there. On tough days when everything isn’t going well I know that tomorrow when I go out I will have a great time. 2. Fear of failure. I’m terrified that I will never do anything meaningful or great in my life. I don’t want to look back in 10 or 20 years and say “I wish I had stuck with that” or “I wish I hadn’t given up” or “I could have been proud of myself.” Thank you so much for this very thought provoking question!
1. I feel good when I know that I give something that bring joy. Wether that's research or jokes or any of my art. 2. I feel good when I defeat someone who was better than me. Where there proving them wrong or getting something they could have gotten. I find it so interesting that both fuels for most people come from an audience. It's a strange thing about humans where we're so social that it helps you do our best yet can make us do our worst.
Something that fuels me both positively and negatively People asking me to help them with studying/homework 1. I like helping them understand and appreciate the concept the way I do. 2. Them asking inflates my ego by enforcing my subconscious belief that I’m smarter than them.
As someone who is really struggling with motivation to finish the last term of my undergrad right now I am really appreciating this conversation about burnout and motivation. Thank you for continuing this discussion!
I’ve never been this early for a Vlogbrothers video EVER. I’m so excited. 1. Helping people. I’m in school to be a therapist, purely because I want to help and love people. 2. Fear is a huge force in my life. I’m always worried about the safety of my loved ones and I’m always on some level terrified that my disabilities will keep me from doing what I really want in my life.
I like the fuel analogy for these kinds of motivation/productivity discussion. This reminds me of something Jon Acuff wrote about in terms of using two different types of motivation-one based on joy/positivity, and one based on fear. Some people use entirely one or the other, but it turns out that I use both! I am motivated to do things well when 1) I will feel more relaxed and happier knowing that what I’ve done is good, and 2) I feel motivated if I am afraid that something will go wrong or I will let someone down if I do not do a thing well.
I love that this has stayed such an ongoing conversation! Here are my answers: 1. I genuinely enjoy working on things and being challenged. 2. Fear of failure or of not meeting my own expectations
wooo!!!! I am finally up to date!!! I have spent years trying to watch your videos from start to finish. At some point this seemed never ending as you would always be making videos. But mainly because sometimes I would go 6 months or longer without watching a single video. Happy and excited to finally be able to watch your videos as they come out. love you guys!
Can this conversation between the two of you continue? Even if it's not through official vlog-brothers videos, this back and forth with days between responses to digest and process is INCREDIBLY relevant and appreciated.
This ongoing discussion has been so helpful for me--in the past few days, I've been plowing through stuff I've been meaning to do for a long, long time. I'm going to keep thinking about the good things my work can do for other people, but for how long can that replace the burnout from not being able to achieve good things for myself?
1. The desire to make the world a better place for everyone. 2. The desire to make everyone else feel positively about me. This conversation about fuel comes at a great time because I'm currently half-way through a year-long undergraduate capstone/thesis thing for my senior year in college and I kind of hate it right now. I've been struggling to find the right fuel and emotions to get me through it. Every time I sit down to work on it, I feel bad about myself. The desire to get my thesis to the point where I no longer feel bad about myself is the only thing fueling me and it sucks. I hate this kind of "run away" fuel.
Right now I’m a college student burning unhealthy fuel. I study and work hard so I can continue to be the smartest in my class or feel like I’m better than my peers, or even my own family. While I know this is a terrible motivation, it is highly effective in achieving what I want: good grades and social standing. I know my goal is close and this motivation has a viable ending point (graduation), so I don’t feel the need to change it. I always want to be a better person, but fear what that might do to my grades and degree. I would love to hear anyone else’s take on this or a similar situation, any advice is welcome!
I understand you find that fuel helpful. My question is: Do you think this will be over with graduation? Or will you keep using that fuel in your job to be better than your colleagues? If the second thing is the case and you will keep using this fuel, it might be good to think about better kinds of fuel as an alternative.
@@rafaelah1492 I'm having a similar thing at my university, but mine is more a fear of failing than it is competitive. Wondering if it'll stop after graduating too, or whether I'll just slip back into laziness from not having as much of a 'threat' to my life.
Changes in life situations, such as going from student to employed (or unemployed), is an opportunity to change fuel - but it is not automatic! It's important to make changing fuel (or diet, drinking habits. etc.) a conscious choice and continuous habit.
1. I feel super motivated to create things for my D&D game because I can imagine the joy it brings my friends playing 2. I motivate myself to do work based on my belief that I exist to create something of value for the humankind as a race, not to achieve happiness. I basically don't want to be a net loss to mankind and feel like I should have just not lived. It's a self disappointment fuel type.
Every time I watch a vlogbrothers video, I feel like I learn so much more in 4 (ish) minutes than in a semester of university, and that excites me a lot but mostly WORRIES me! Maybe do a video on how education needs to be adapted and evolve within institutions in this digital age? Please?! Also: 1. I want to make a difference to the lives of so many young or disadvantaged people by giving them the encouragement and support they need so we can share in the happiness of their eventual success. 2. I need to prove everyone wrong who has ever called me “too geeky” or “not high-brow enough” or “lazy” or “dreamy” by being perfect and always giving 100% effort ALL THE TIME.
I love this, it feels like old vlogbrothers, when you guys were having actual conversations with each and being more yourself, instead of videos that don’t acknowledge what the last person said in their video. ❤️❤️❤️
1. I feel good when things I create bring other people joy. 2. I feel like I have to do better than everyone who came before me. I've been thinking about this a lot since you tweeted it. At the time, it was really difficult for me to find words to express what fueled me. I also found it really difficult to get on with a major revision of my novel. Now that I've started writing, the fuel is easier to pinpoint.
You hit the nail on the head with the fear of being disappointing. I know I can learn the technical skills to get where I want to go, but I fear I don't have the soft skills to back them up.
1- I feel good when I feel I've mastered a topic, like when I've totally comprehended it and absorbed it 2- I feel good when I realize that I've done more work and have had more success that those around me :(
This conversation has been so helpful to me. I've realized that I'm trying to burn the fuel of my guilt over being a failure/disappointment, which is hardly any fuel at all so I'm not getting anywhere. Now I'll try to focus more on burning the positive, external fuel of my drive to help the earth's ecosystems through climate change.
This fits well with what I heard this morning. I’m listening to “The Upside of Your Dark Side” while commuting. Within the first 20 minutes, he talks about how negative emotions are good things and can propel us to do good things.
I really like your videos about this topic, you opened my mind, thank you! Anyway, my fellow nerdfighters, I have my prom today and I feel really anxious about it... Wish me luck, I love all of you!
Please, continue this very important conversation as long as you have something valuable to say! This sparked a lot of interesting discussion in my community! Gotta join in: 1. Curiosity of how it works 2. Doing in so afterwards I can brag about that I have done it
1. I feel good when other people have a smooth experience or an easier time because of me. 2. Sometimes I only do things because I decided I would at some point in the past and I can't forgive myself for not doing it. Right now I'm also experimenting with a thing which I'm struggling to place on this spectrum (I'm not 100% sure it needs to fit, but it's interesting to think about), which is that in the new year I'm pushing myself to respond to emails/texts/messages as soon as I read them (which is something I've historically been very bad at) for the purpose of not feeling bad about having not responded to them. I've been thinking about it a lot because it's the opposite of the "curb your email addiction" advice and I've never seen a conflicting viewpoint, but so far (three weeks in), it's really working for me. I'm a better friend, better colleague, and less stressed. But I'm not sure what (if any) kind of fuel it's burning yet...
I just want to point out - not as a good or a bad thing, but a personal observation - how the implication of this line of thinking, of “fueling” is productivity. So much professional life is governed by it. And I hope for myself to find a personal mindspace where my thinking about productivity is not tied with my value.
Two things: 1. My boyfriend said something helpful to me as I was struggling through my first semester in a phd program. I felt that the majority of my academic achievement had been fueled by anxiety and fear, and I was afraid that if I worked to have less anxiety I wouldn't be able to succeed in my program. He told me that I was like Zuko when he switched sides - he had to find a new fuel for fire bending. Losing his old fuel didn't signal the end of his abilities. So this discussion that y'all have been having has been really helpful to me! 2. Anna Karenina has a big theme of how it's harmful to do good actions with bad motivations. It basically asserts that if you're actively thinking about your motivations, then there is pretense in your actions, and pretense is bad. It's a pretty extreme view that I don't necessarily agree with, but it leads to good discussions!
1. Improving quality and competence within my industry through helping, mentoring, and teaching others. 2. Feeling like I’m better at my job than those I deem less capable, especially when measured through client feedback Those may seem to counter each other - I want to help others be better but also be better than them. It’s more I want to help newer/younger industry members become something good while being unimpressed that some people have managed to get so senior without much (in my mind) ability.
Huh. My fuel is almost entirely, "I feel an internal inspiration to do this thing" - curiosity or excitement or wanting to figure it out--or "I want more money so I can do/acquire various other things I find interesting". I am not sure I care enough about other people to be fueled by either service or spite. I mean, I wish the best for others and I help my friends with things, I'm not a jerk, but I am definitely not motivated to in my work life by either of those things. I also really don't tend to put things like that in categories like "healthy" and "unhealthy". If I had a feeling of spite motivating me, I would self-validate that it was what I needed right now, therefore healthy for me in context (i.e. the best way I currently know how to meet my needs). Or actually, more likely I would just find it a fascinating thing my brain was doing.
This is so good! I think, this is what I aspire, because all the extrinsic stuff don't really fuel me - resentment, anger, fear, etc. only paralyse me. If I have to do something, I try to make myself interested in it. Curiosity helps a lot!
1) i just enjoy the act of creating? the process of it and seeing things take shape fuels me a lot(i'm an artist btw) 2) but also being better at things than others and knowing I have a more skill (ALSO!!!!! Gingerhaze/Noelle Stevenson did a really good end of the year comic on her tumblr about her personal drive that i feel mirrors your discussion a lot if ya wanna check it out)
I just recently finished my senior wrestling season and am currently of two minds. Firstly, I have achieved great success this year, advancing as far as I could've hoped. I am extremely proud of how well I did. On the other hand, I believe that a good deal of this success was fueled by unhealthy fuels. I was pretty heavily motivated by a fear of failing in what is probably my final year as well as by a desire to impress my peers. I was certainly burning other, more positive fuels, such as a love of the sport, but it seems to me that it was the unhealthy fuel that gave me the edge this year. This is concerning because it makes me wonder if I need to burn unhealthy fuel to be successful.
I think I burned a lot of negative fuel last year while I completed highschool. I relied on anxiety and guilt to motivate me to study which was effective, I did really well but also kind of insidious, I had a lot of meltdowns when I felt I wasn't doing enough which had negative effects on my mental health and productivity. Because I relied so heavily on this mentality I've had to deal with a lot of anxiety about not doing enough 'worthwhile' or productive things now that I'm not sinking all my effort into studying, but then again this has encouraged me to do active tasks such as cleaning jobs that have been ignored for the past few years. I'd say the results of using my negative fuel have been very mixed.
I don’t think fear of disappointing yourself is necessarily a bad thing all the time. You SHOULD have standards for yourself and try to be the best person you can be. However, it’s also important to learn to deal with it in a healthy way when you mess up.
Hi Hank. I am enjoying watching your TH-cam videos again after I was sick for several years with a mental problem and also a spiritual problem. I am feeling better and I started watching your videos a couple weeks ago again and I love your consistency and enjoy the different topics that you bring up. I am happy to see that you are also traveling like Toby Turner is in Panama right now according to his video of two days ago. Oh, I just realized that I don't actually know where you live but it's not in California and I don't think it's in Washington either so I concluded that you're traveling. I think you said you were traveling. That would be fun to go to Seattle Washington as I have never been there before and hopefully someday I will be able to see it and I will hope to see the first Starbucks if that's in Seattle and buy a mocha. Anyways, I thought you were talking about something that you didn't vocalize and I have a mental problem and I certainly don't have ESP nor telepathy as far as I know but maybe my thoughts are resonating with your ideas of world change and such when I thought of my idea at the same time when you were talking about something. Anyways, I can't remember but something about building a car like the back to the future car which is fed with trash instead of gas. Why don't they make this car? I thought of that when you were talking about the negative energy turning into still some type of energy when burning trash does cause pollution but so does gas. So, thank you for encouraging me to think.
Yes, Hank. I think I would question the "unhealthiness" of "unhealthy fuels." While some motivations are certainly toxic I think there are also completely healthy ways to use emotions like anger, resentment, jealousy, etc. We all feel these things. Necessary reform is often spurred by anger at the state of things, for instance. Basically, I don't think outcomes derived from negative emotions are strictly unhealthy. Bad emotions serve a purpose too.
1. I feel good when I can be in control of the things I need to and should be in control of. 2. I feel good when I act out of spite, or when things go my way even though my way isn't someone else's. ***I'm not usually a controlling person, I swear. I just don't have ANY control right now.
Good fuel: Empathy. I love helping others in tough times. Just being there for people. Bad fuel: depression and anxiety and overthinking of self actions. I am self-deprecating to a fatalistic fault.
1. I feel great when I have learned or understood something new. I feel like I am growing to be a better version of myself. 2. I feel good about myself when I can do or explain things other people can't.
I think often I have a healthy goal and healthy fuel but I’ll burn it in a very unhealthy way. I’ll have a goal to get my degree, the fuel that I want to do good things in (and for) the world, but I’ll burn this fuel by staying up till 3 am working on my classes when I have to be up by five to work the next morning. I’ve learned a lot from these videos about how I’m burning my fuel and why I’m driven to do the things I do and it’s really crazy how often it’s negative.
I've focused a lot on the 'progress' positive fuel, mostly through learning (mostly languages) and exercise. Pro: You get to have it everyday! Con: You only get to take it in small increments, otherwise you burn youself out. It's a balancing act, but figuring it out is its own reward! I believe it's Warren Buffet who said: "something something compounding positive fuels…"
1. I feel good when I know I have worked my hardest for something, weather I got what I wanted or not 2. I feel constantly guilty for not doing enough or saying enough of my inner thoughts and feelings to help or sympathize with others
I have been thinking a lot about this and can't quite figure out what fuels me yet. Regardless I can't wait to hopefully talk a bit about this at Podcon!
1. I love the feeling of putting something new into the world, even if its audience is just me. Bonus points if it's a thing that makes someone laugh. 2. I am afraid that when I say no to something or choose to stop doing something that makes me unhappy, it will end up being a mistake that prevents me from accomplishing my goals in the future.
One positive thing that fuels me is genuinely loving on people and the joy that brings all around. And one negative thing that fuels me is the knowledge that my children cannot make it if I don't do life so I feel very tired.
One of my fuels is to be the expert at something. The positive side is that I like to be the person who has answers and can help or train others, but it's also negative because it's about being better than others.
It changes with time but right now 1. Doing something I can show with pride to certain people I care about. Not kingly pride, but the dad kind of pride, "hey look at this thing I made it's so coool" brings me joy 2. The thought of being able to marathon books and anime after the work is done. It's bad because I'll stay up days for it, and if I procrastinate, I am likely to just start watching anime or reading a book without finishing the work
Come to think of it, I think that this is the aspect of my personality that has changed the most through the years. I feel like the same person but run on different fuels. During middle/high school, it was having to get good grades (almost habitually, not really for any reason other than you are supposed to have good grades. So a B equaled failure to me). In my 20s, my general drive was trying to follow through on my obligations to other people and the world in general (joining the Peace Corps, devoting my entire soul to someone who didn't value or deserve it, continuing my education in a field that was more useful to other people and not just because I liked it). Now in my 30s, I feel like my main motivation in life is to get away from people (I desperately want to retire into hermithood and I am trying to figure out how to do that as a poor person with no resources and with a few people in my life who still care about me). Of course there are others, but those are the main driving forces in my history. Not sure how healthy any of them have been.
I think that often a lot of good things are made in part out of spite, if only because so many people who create things are told they will be unsuccessful. It’s not my primary motivation for writing, but it’s one of them. I started out writing because I wanted other people to be inspired by stories I told. But I finished my first manuscript because people told me I couldn’t do it.
1. I am genuinely interested and get joy out a lot of things 2. I don't want to need anyone else's help, ever (so I do things before people offer help) For me, it feels like 1 is solar panels, the big problem being that I live in some place like England, and when that goes out, I can't access my other fuel (friends and stuff) (biomass in this example, let's say) because that takes energy to harvest and transport. So, if I don't plan well enough, and don't see they sky getting grey, the lights just kinda go down for a few days, maybe a few weeks.
I felt really nervous about the idea when I heard “you can burn unhealthy things and have a good outcome.” The flight or fight response kicked in. While an interesting rephrasing of Machiavelli’s end justifying the means tidbit, a little concerning to folks like me that are struggling with the anger, righteous and not so righteous, and negativity that are permeating the air we breathe these days both online and irl. Thus, I was glad to then hear some further thoughts about recognizing long-term negative outcomes, cognitive debt, and alternative fuels. Travelling along the burning fuels analogies, anger fuels anger. Anger also is a quick-burning fuel that can then feed depression. In addition, witnessing anger whether it is directed at ourselves or elsewhere is still witnessing anger. The internet will provide you many bits of info on how witnessing bully produces negative impact on the witness even if the witness wasn’t the victim nor had a history of being a victim. The negative fuels can produce good results but there are rippling negative effects that aren’t always obvious. The internet will also provide you with a range of 5-7 positives are needed to outweigh one negative. I guess the challenge is finding fuels that focus on the positive (perhaps check out Shawn Achor) to make the changes necessary whilst maintaining the good stuff in order to keep moving forward.
+. I enjoy working hard when I'm passionate about what I'm doing or saying -. I work really hard when there's no time left and I'm the only one I can rely on
1. I know that I will feel really good when I overcame and solved the current issue/problem 2. I want to compete just to have a feeling of victory when compared to my peers
I finally get to go to a Hank organised event tomorrow. From Melbourne, but start working from the US, and Hank decides to have VidCon there and make me home sick, at least now Hank has decided to have an event in a city I am actually in :) Thanks Hank.
1. That sense of what I hear many people call "flow" but I call "engagement". When I'm really engaged in something that feels super constructive. 2. Making sure I am doing something to some arbitrary standard because I'm worried that others will think less of me for not being able to do the thing as well as I should.
Tell me one positive thing that fuels you and one negative thing that fuels you, I'll start:
1. I feel really good when I help people understand something new.
2. I am constantly worried that someone else is going to do the thing I thought of before I do it, and that will mean I'm not special.
1. Knowing there are people who like me and are rooting for me and want me to be happy, and that I'll make them happy by succeeding.
2. Happiness is the best revenge.
Also, see you at podcon tomorrow!
1. I feel motivated when I feel connected to nature and my goals of protecting it.
2. I'll eventually do a thing if my parents nag me enough (understand I'm 30), out of a sense of guilt and obligation that tastes bitter.
1. The hope from my dreams
2. The resentment from my former peers
1. Experiencing new things because they make me think more deeply and complexly about the world
2. Experiencing new things because I think it validates my existence and will make others think I'm cool and confident
1. I really enjoy helping people troubleshoot and seeing the light in their eyes once they figured out the solution.
2. The fear that I have not actually smart and that my accomplishments mean nothing
I like how all the recent vlogbrothers videos have literally just been a conversation between John and Hank, kinda reminds me of 2007.
That's exactly what I was thinking!
I know, it’s so nice !
Strongly agree +
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Yes I love this. Want more of conservation style videos! I feel like you can go deeper into subjects then too.
"You gotta get some solar panels up on your psyche, everybody" is my new favorite quote. Period.
I want it on a poster or something
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Came here just to look if someone mentioned it =)
I think I am vapid enough to opt for a wind Mille 😉
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@@fionafiona1146 Lol I was trying to find a pun somewhere in there...
john: "I'll avoid social media, period."
hank:"hey look, screenshot of twitter!"
😂😂😂
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Tahani in The Good Place is an entire character based around doing good things with bad fuel
Oooooo, excellent point!
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One of my favorite shows ever!
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In therapy the most productive moments come after using unhealthy fuel. It's like overcoming anxiety or PTSD - you must sit with discomfort eventually. That doesn't mean you should deliberately do so if you aren't ready, or wallow in depression. As we say in Buddhism, the lotus grows out of the mud and detritus. Unhealthy fuel such as anger and frustration can be a powerful impetus for positive change. A part of why I work in healthcare is I was angry for decades about having had horrible doctors and therapists. I used my anger to find purpose.
I'd argue too, Hank, that positive fuels can also become negative. Doing good deeds while excluding your own to the point where you suffer *is* negative. Healthy fuels can lead to unhealthy outcomes if we do not use them wisely.
I agree. Sometimes, burning unhealthy fuel is the healthiest thing you can do -- because it's better than burning no fuel at all. I also feel like sometimes you have to burn the unhealthy fuel in order to get rid of it, do you agree?
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This fits my experience really well. PTSD for me has involved motivating myself with a lot of "I can't let that person win" and "I don't want others to suffer how I did" which can look healthy / unhealthy at first glance but are more nuanced and both excellent motivators. Spite alone got me to a good place, when I finally transitioned to healthier fuels, I was amazed at how well I had been doing on spite alone.
@@eliontheinternet3298 Fire gives life and sustenance. It can also kill. It's rarely the fault of the tinder when it does either. Forest fires and burns serve a purpose ecologically. So do unhealthy or healthy fuels for the human mind. The problem is when either goes unchecked. We also have to get rid of fuel somehow, as you say. Anxiety goes nowhere if we do not sit with it and focus it. That's why both CBT and physical activity help with it so much.
This is why I think healthy and unhealthy are very relative ideas, to be honest. Pointless positive thinking in the face of the opposite which ignores a current situation is bad; if it brings no self-satisfaction or self-awareness it can be dangerous, too. Love without boundaries is also dangerous especially when it breeds codependency and mires people in abuse, and I consider love one of the most profound and healthy fuels on the planet. For instance, agreeing to do tasks to help others past the point you are burnt out is also an unhealthy fuel, though compassion and doing good in the world are 100% vital.
I would argue more that we need to redefine what is healthy and unhealthy more than anything.
As for myself, I spent many years in abusive situations and my health deteriorated. I became angry, and that anger fueled me going to school and going off disability. Anger is not necessarily positive or negative - it's what we *do* with the fuel that is. Even now when I struggle I remember that anger, and while I hope to never have that much currency in it again, I use those memories as motivation and positive fuel.
We humans are mortal and we all can easily succumb to our hubris; the real issue is how do we use unhealthy or healthy fuels, and what do we create with them - or what we destroy with them. We need fuel to survive...including the unhealthy kind.
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I love that you guys can still have dialogues like this between videos even though Brotherhood 2.0 is long over.
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I like that Hank is using vlogbrothers to sneak Twitter back into John's life
That's definitely a number 2 fuel of yours.
1. When something I create is making people feel something
2. Feeling I am better than other people some of which I don’t really like or care about
oh lol I thought this was going to be about fossil fuels or something
I thought the same thing 😂
The answer to that question is no, clean energy all the way.
Right? I was 100% ready for hank to get those deep cuts about the complexity of energy and economy. but this is also good
Samee
Now I’m curious, maybe a future video?? 🤔
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I mean, I've worked in the power industry all my adult life and was very keen to hear Hank discuss the nuances of the betterment to society that has been achieved through fossil fuels thus far and while we need to transition away from them ASAP, if we do so too quickly it will cause energy prices to spike which disproportionately affects the poor and what not. But yeah, this is good too.
Hank is always tweeting, that's his secret.
1. I really want to do a good job when I have an idea that my wife responds really well to.
2. I tend to work harder when I feel like the entirety of something is on my shoulders because I can't rely on the people around me.
(Edit)
Thought of two more.
1. When I can teach someone something that will help them.
2. When I think I can do something better and faster than someone, so I step in and do it for them instead of guiding them.
Yes those unhealthy fuels seem so familiar
1.feeling like I'm actually getting better at something
2. overwhelming fear of failure after a long bout of procrastinating
Virginia Ariza +
+ on the last one
I, watching this video after having a stress-induced breakdown in the middle of my finals questioning my whole career/future path, am very grateful for this whole series of videos and conversation.
as for the moment, the one unhealthy fuel that's keeping me going is fear of failure and HAVING to do things I absolutely despise. stress, if that can be considered a fuel.
thing is unhealthy fuels burn through u, not for u and leave u empty.
My healthy fuels are my extreme passion for learning. learning any and everything. Also sharing my passion with people. helping people.
As "Video Essay" becomes a more popular and accepted term (if not academically then publicly), allow me to introduce a new form of media: Video Dialectic.
Of course, the Brothers Green are in a unique situation to perform this type of discussion (see also: the Batman debate), I think it can take on a purpose in online discussion.
It also reminds me of the days of video replies. When did those go away, 2011? Anyways, I look forward to more brotherly "republiques" in the future
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I'd like more of these style of discussions, it's interesting to hear everyone's personal take on things
I don’t have a Twitter but I want to play along! This is about one thing I pursue in particular, as I think most People’s are.
1. I just freaking love what I do. I get happy to be there. On tough days when everything isn’t going well I know that tomorrow when I go out I will have a great time.
2. Fear of failure. I’m terrified that I will never do anything meaningful or great in my life. I don’t want to look back in 10 or 20 years and say “I wish I had stuck with that” or “I wish I hadn’t given up” or “I could have been proud of myself.”
Thank you so much for this very thought provoking question!
I'm a little late, but I'll jump in:
1. I feel good when I spread knowledge to others.
2. I feel good when I put people I'm mad at in their place.
Brillemeister
Nice pfp and points !
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++++++ same on the second one
I misread it as “drinking hot sprite in a cold shower” and I was like yes, that is truly a terrible idea
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1. I feel good when I know that I give something that bring joy. Wether that's research or jokes or any of my art.
2. I feel good when I defeat someone who was better than me. Where there proving them wrong or getting something they could have gotten.
I find it so interesting that both fuels for most people come from an audience. It's a strange thing about humans where we're so social that it helps you do our best yet can make us do our worst.
Hank I want you to know that drinking a cold Sprite in a Hot Shower is now on my bucket list
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Something that fuels me both positively and negatively
People asking me to help them with studying/homework
1. I like helping them understand and appreciate the concept the way I do.
2. Them asking inflates my ego by enforcing my subconscious belief that I’m smarter than them.
I relate so much
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As someone who is really struggling with motivation to finish the last term of my undergrad right now I am really appreciating this conversation about burnout and motivation. Thank you for continuing this discussion!
When I saw the first of your videos about this, I was hoping the conversation would continue. I am so, so happy this has continued for three videos!!
I’ve never been this early for a Vlogbrothers video EVER. I’m so excited.
1. Helping people. I’m in school to be a therapist, purely because I want to help and love people.
2. Fear is a huge force in my life. I’m always worried about the safety of my loved ones and I’m always on some level terrified that my disabilities will keep me from doing what I really want in my life.
I like the fuel analogy for these kinds of motivation/productivity discussion.
This reminds me of something Jon Acuff wrote about in terms of using two different types of motivation-one based on joy/positivity, and one based on fear. Some people use entirely one or the other, but it turns out that I use both! I am motivated to do things well when 1) I will feel more relaxed and happier knowing that what I’ve done is good, and 2) I feel motivated if I am afraid that something will go wrong or I will let someone down if I do not do a thing well.
I actually really like that you're continuing the discussion through multiple videos
I LOVE when you two continue conversations over multiple videos. It feels like brotherhood 2.0!
I've really enjoyed how this topic of "fuel" is sparking much more of a conversation between your videos the past couple weeks!
I love that this has stayed such an ongoing conversation! Here are my answers:
1. I genuinely enjoy working on things and being challenged.
2. Fear of failure or of not meeting my own expectations
wooo!!!! I am finally up to date!!! I have spent years trying to watch your videos from start to finish. At some point this seemed never ending as you would always be making videos. But mainly because sometimes I would go 6 months or longer without watching a single video. Happy and excited to finally be able to watch your videos as they come out. love you guys!
Can this conversation between the two of you continue? Even if it's not through official vlog-brothers videos, this back and forth with days between responses to digest and process is INCREDIBLY relevant and appreciated.
This ongoing discussion has been so helpful for me--in the past few days, I've been plowing through stuff I've been meaning to do for a long, long time. I'm going to keep thinking about the good things my work can do for other people, but for how long can that replace the burnout from not being able to achieve good things for myself?
1. The desire to make the world a better place for everyone.
2. The desire to make everyone else feel positively about me.
This conversation about fuel comes at a great time because I'm currently half-way through a year-long undergraduate capstone/thesis thing for my senior year in college and I kind of hate it right now. I've been struggling to find the right fuel and emotions to get me through it. Every time I sit down to work on it, I feel bad about myself. The desire to get my thesis to the point where I no longer feel bad about myself is the only thing fueling me and it sucks. I hate this kind of "run away" fuel.
Right now I’m a college student burning unhealthy fuel. I study and work hard so I can continue to be the smartest in my class or feel like I’m better than my peers, or even my own family. While I know this is a terrible motivation, it is highly effective in achieving what I want: good grades and social standing. I know my goal is close and this motivation has a viable ending point (graduation), so I don’t feel the need to change it. I always want to be a better person, but fear what that might do to my grades and degree. I would love to hear anyone else’s take on this or a similar situation, any advice is welcome!
I understand you find that fuel helpful. My question is: Do you think this will be over with graduation? Or will you keep using that fuel in your job to be better than your colleagues? If the second thing is the case and you will keep using this fuel, it might be good to think about better kinds of fuel as an alternative.
@@rafaelah1492 I'm having a similar thing at my university, but mine is more a fear of failing than it is competitive. Wondering if it'll stop after graduating too, or whether I'll just slip back into laziness from not having as much of a 'threat' to my life.
Changes in life situations, such as going from student to employed (or unemployed), is an opportunity to change fuel
- but it is not automatic!
It's important to make changing fuel (or diet, drinking habits. etc.) a conscious choice and continuous habit.
1. I feel super motivated to create things for my D&D game because I can imagine the joy it brings my friends playing
2. I motivate myself to do work based on my belief that I exist to create something of value for the humankind as a race, not to achieve happiness. I basically don't want to be a net loss to mankind and feel like I should have just not lived. It's a self disappointment fuel type.
Every time I watch a vlogbrothers video, I feel like I learn so much more in 4 (ish) minutes than in a semester of university, and that excites me a lot but mostly WORRIES me! Maybe do a video on how education needs to be adapted and evolve within institutions in this digital age? Please?!
Also:
1. I want to make a difference to the lives of so many young or disadvantaged people by giving them the encouragement and support they need so we can share in the happiness of their eventual success.
2. I need to prove everyone wrong who has ever called me “too geeky” or “not high-brow enough” or “lazy” or “dreamy” by being perfect and always giving 100% effort ALL THE TIME.
This is literally a conversation I've been having with myself since new years. Thank you for sharing these thoughts!
I love this, it feels like old vlogbrothers, when you guys were having actual conversations with each and being more yourself, instead of videos that don’t acknowledge what the last person said in their video. ❤️❤️❤️
Solar panels up on your psyche is a “Birdhouse in Your Soul”-level metaphor
This new conversation is so interesting! Love the chain that connects all the videos!
1. I feel good when things I create bring other people joy.
2. I feel like I have to do better than everyone who came before me.
I've been thinking about this a lot since you tweeted it. At the time, it was really difficult for me to find words to express what fueled me. I also found it really difficult to get on with a major revision of my novel. Now that I've started writing, the fuel is easier to pinpoint.
You hit the nail on the head with the fear of being disappointing. I know I can learn the technical skills to get where I want to go, but I fear I don't have the soft skills to back them up.
Wish I had any fuel :'D
Let's hope one day our wishes come true :)
That's a mood
I feel similarly, I think I probably have some kind of fuel but for some reasons I'm afraid to use them.
1- I feel good when I feel I've mastered a topic, like when I've totally comprehended it and absorbed it
2- I feel good when I realize that I've done more work and have had more success that those around me :(
This conversation has been so helpful to me. I've realized that I'm trying to burn the fuel of my guilt over being a failure/disappointment, which is hardly any fuel at all so I'm not getting anywhere. Now I'll try to focus more on burning the positive, external fuel of my drive to help the earth's ecosystems through climate change.
Im going to podcon tomorrow. Im so excited!!
This fits well with what I heard this morning. I’m listening to “The Upside of Your Dark Side” while commuting. Within the first 20 minutes, he talks about how negative emotions are good things and can propel us to do good things.
I really like your videos about this topic, you opened my mind, thank you!
Anyway, my fellow nerdfighters, I have my prom today and I feel really anxious about it... Wish me luck, I love all of you!
Please, continue this very important conversation as long as you have something valuable to say! This sparked a lot of interesting discussion in my community!
Gotta join in:
1. Curiosity of how it works
2. Doing in so afterwards I can brag about that I have done it
1. I feel good when other people have a smooth experience or an easier time because of me.
2. Sometimes I only do things because I decided I would at some point in the past and I can't forgive myself for not doing it.
Right now I'm also experimenting with a thing which I'm struggling to place on this spectrum (I'm not 100% sure it needs to fit, but it's interesting to think about), which is that in the new year I'm pushing myself to respond to emails/texts/messages as soon as I read them (which is something I've historically been very bad at) for the purpose of not feeling bad about having not responded to them. I've been thinking about it a lot because it's the opposite of the "curb your email addiction" advice and I've never seen a conflicting viewpoint, but so far (three weeks in), it's really working for me. I'm a better friend, better colleague, and less stressed. But I'm not sure what (if any) kind of fuel it's burning yet...
I just want to point out - not as a good or a bad thing, but a personal observation - how the implication of this line of thinking, of “fueling” is productivity. So much professional life is governed by it. And I hope for myself to find a personal mindspace where my thinking about productivity is not tied with my value.
Two things:
1. My boyfriend said something helpful to me as I was struggling through my first semester in a phd program. I felt that the majority of my academic achievement had been fueled by anxiety and fear, and I was afraid that if I worked to have less anxiety I wouldn't be able to succeed in my program. He told me that I was like Zuko when he switched sides - he had to find a new fuel for fire bending. Losing his old fuel didn't signal the end of his abilities. So this discussion that y'all have been having has been really helpful to me!
2. Anna Karenina has a big theme of how it's harmful to do good actions with bad motivations. It basically asserts that if you're actively thinking about your motivations, then there is pretense in your actions, and pretense is bad. It's a pretty extreme view that I don't necessarily agree with, but it leads to good discussions!
1. Improving quality and competence within my industry through helping, mentoring, and teaching others.
2. Feeling like I’m better at my job than those I deem less capable, especially when measured through client feedback
Those may seem to counter each other - I want to help others be better but also be better than them. It’s more I want to help newer/younger industry members become something good while being unimpressed that some people have managed to get so senior without much (in my mind) ability.
These video follow up on this subject is so useful. Thank you.
Loving this convo! Great discussion!
Huh. My fuel is almost entirely, "I feel an internal inspiration to do this thing" - curiosity or excitement or wanting to figure it out--or "I want more money so I can do/acquire various other things I find interesting". I am not sure I care enough about other people to be fueled by either service or spite. I mean, I wish the best for others and I help my friends with things, I'm not a jerk, but I am definitely not motivated to in my work life by either of those things.
I also really don't tend to put things like that in categories like "healthy" and "unhealthy". If I had a feeling of spite motivating me, I would self-validate that it was what I needed right now, therefore healthy for me in context (i.e. the best way I currently know how to meet my needs). Or actually, more likely I would just find it a fascinating thing my brain was doing.
This is so good! I think, this is what I aspire, because all the extrinsic stuff don't really fuel me - resentment, anger, fear, etc. only paralyse me.
If I have to do something, I try to make myself interested in it. Curiosity helps a lot!
This was really really deep Hank. Good work, great stuff to think about!
"PahCah!" 😂🤣💖
So precious!
such a great conversation. this is why i love vlogbrothers
This is officially my favorite TH-cam channel ever
1) i just enjoy the act of creating? the process of it and seeing things take shape fuels me a lot(i'm an artist btw)
2) but also being better at things than others and knowing I have a more skill
(ALSO!!!!! Gingerhaze/Noelle Stevenson did a really good end of the year comic on her tumblr about her personal drive that i feel mirrors your discussion a lot if ya wanna check it out)
I just recently finished my senior wrestling season and am currently of two minds. Firstly, I have achieved great success this year, advancing as far as I could've hoped. I am extremely proud of how well I did. On the other hand, I believe that a good deal of this success was fueled by unhealthy fuels. I was pretty heavily motivated by a fear of failing in what is probably my final year as well as by a desire to impress my peers. I was certainly burning other, more positive fuels, such as a love of the sport, but it seems to me that it was the unhealthy fuel that gave me the edge this year. This is concerning because it makes me wonder if I need to burn unhealthy fuel to be successful.
I automatically added this to my “Best of Vlogbrothers” Playlist. It deserves to be there
Oren is two!?
I think I burned a lot of negative fuel last year while I completed highschool. I relied on anxiety and guilt to motivate me to study which was effective, I did really well but also kind of insidious, I had a lot of meltdowns when I felt I wasn't doing enough which had negative effects on my mental health and productivity. Because I relied so heavily on this mentality I've had to deal with a lot of anxiety about not doing enough 'worthwhile' or productive things now that I'm not sinking all my effort into studying, but then again this has encouraged me to do active tasks such as cleaning jobs that have been ignored for the past few years. I'd say the results of using my negative fuel have been very mixed.
Welcome to Seattle Hank! Hope you have a blast while you're here.
I love how this conversation is progressing :) It's like a series of some sort
I don’t think fear of disappointing yourself is necessarily a bad thing all the time. You SHOULD have standards for yourself and try to be the best person you can be. However, it’s also important to learn to deal with it in a healthy way when you mess up.
Hi Hank. I am enjoying watching your TH-cam videos again after I was sick for several years with a mental problem and also a spiritual problem. I am feeling better and I started watching your videos a couple weeks ago again and I love your consistency and enjoy the different topics that you bring up. I am happy to see that you are also traveling like Toby Turner is in Panama right now according to his video of two days ago. Oh, I just realized that I don't actually know where you live but it's not in California and I don't think it's in Washington either so I concluded that you're traveling. I think you said you were traveling. That would be fun to go to Seattle Washington as I have never been there before and hopefully someday I will be able to see it and I will hope to see the first Starbucks if that's in Seattle and buy a mocha. Anyways, I thought you were talking about something that you didn't vocalize and I have a mental problem and I certainly don't have ESP nor telepathy as far as I know but maybe my thoughts are resonating with your ideas of world change and such when I thought of my idea at the same time when you were talking about something. Anyways, I can't remember but something about building a car like the back to the future car which is fed with trash instead of gas. Why don't they make this car? I thought of that when you were talking about the negative energy turning into still some type of energy when burning trash does cause pollution but so does gas. So, thank you for encouraging me to think.
This conversation helped me write about a book I'm reading for English class. Thanks guys!
Yes finally another vlog from vlogbrothers!
Yes, Hank. I think I would question the "unhealthiness" of "unhealthy fuels." While some motivations are certainly toxic I think there are also completely healthy ways to use emotions like anger, resentment, jealousy, etc. We all feel these things. Necessary reform is often spurred by anger at the state of things, for instance. Basically, I don't think outcomes derived from negative emotions are strictly unhealthy. Bad emotions serve a purpose too.
1. I feel good when I can be in control of the things I need to and should be in control of.
2. I feel good when I act out of spite, or when things go my way even though my way isn't someone else's.
***I'm not usually a controlling person, I swear. I just don't have ANY control right now.
Good fuel: Empathy. I love helping others in tough times. Just being there for people.
Bad fuel: depression and anxiety and overthinking of self actions. I am self-deprecating to a fatalistic fault.
1. I feel great when I have learned or understood something new. I feel like I am growing to be a better version of myself.
2. I feel good about myself when I can do or explain things other people can't.
I think often I have a healthy goal and healthy fuel but I’ll burn it in a very unhealthy way. I’ll have a goal to get my degree, the fuel that I want to do good things in (and for) the world, but I’ll burn this fuel by staying up till 3 am working on my classes when I have to be up by five to work the next morning. I’ve learned a lot from these videos about how I’m burning my fuel and why I’m driven to do the things I do and it’s really crazy how often it’s negative.
Needed to hear this today. Thanks!
I like this series a lot. It’s like a tbt to old vlogbrothers :)
I've focused a lot on the 'progress' positive fuel, mostly through learning (mostly languages) and exercise.
Pro: You get to have it everyday! Con: You only get to take it in small increments, otherwise you burn youself out.
It's a balancing act, but figuring it out is its own reward! I believe it's Warren Buffet who said: "something something compounding positive fuels…"
1. I feel good when I know I have worked my hardest for something, weather I got what I wanted or not
2. I feel constantly guilty for not doing enough or saying enough of my inner thoughts and feelings to help or sympathize with others
Don’t forget to be awesome
I have been thinking a lot about this and can't quite figure out what fuels me yet. Regardless I can't wait to hopefully talk a bit about this at Podcon!
These Three videos have been so beneficial to me would you and John be interested in doing a whole dear Hank and John about this topic
1. I love the feeling of putting something new into the world, even if its audience is just me. Bonus points if it's a thing that makes someone laugh.
2. I am afraid that when I say no to something or choose to stop doing something that makes me unhappy, it will end up being a mistake that prevents me from accomplishing my goals in the future.
One positive thing that fuels me is genuinely loving on people and the joy that brings all around. And one negative thing that fuels me is the knowledge that my children cannot make it if I don't do life so I feel very tired.
One of my fuels is to be the expert at something. The positive side is that I like to be the person who has answers and can help or train others, but it's also negative because it's about being better than others.
I think Twitter (the company) made some changes to the algorithm and the features to encourage healthier engagement for so that's cool
Any reliable source?
It changes with time but right now
1. Doing something I can show with pride to certain people I care about. Not kingly pride, but the dad kind of pride, "hey look at this thing I made it's so coool" brings me joy
2. The thought of being able to marathon books and anime after the work is done. It's bad because I'll stay up days for it, and if I procrastinate, I am likely to just start watching anime or reading a book without finishing the work
Come to think of it, I think that this is the aspect of my personality that has changed the most through the years. I feel like the same person but run on different fuels. During middle/high school, it was having to get good grades (almost habitually, not really for any reason other than you are supposed to have good grades. So a B equaled failure to me). In my 20s, my general drive was trying to follow through on my obligations to other people and the world in general (joining the Peace Corps, devoting my entire soul to someone who didn't value or deserve it, continuing my education in a field that was more useful to other people and not just because I liked it). Now in my 30s, I feel like my main motivation in life is to get away from people (I desperately want to retire into hermithood and I am trying to figure out how to do that as a poor person with no resources and with a few people in my life who still care about me). Of course there are others, but those are the main driving forces in my history. Not sure how healthy any of them have been.
I think that often a lot of good things are made in part out of spite, if only because so many people who create things are told they will be unsuccessful. It’s not my primary motivation for writing, but it’s one of them. I started out writing because I wanted other people to be inspired by stories I told. But I finished my first manuscript because people told me I couldn’t do it.
1. I am genuinely interested and get joy out a lot of things
2. I don't want to need anyone else's help, ever (so I do things before people offer help)
For me, it feels like 1 is solar panels, the big problem being that I live in some place like England, and when that goes out, I can't access my other fuel (friends and stuff) (biomass in this example, let's say) because that takes energy to harvest and transport. So, if I don't plan well enough, and don't see they sky getting grey, the lights just kinda go down for a few days, maybe a few weeks.
I felt really nervous about the idea when I heard “you can burn unhealthy things and have a good outcome.” The flight or fight response kicked in. While an interesting rephrasing of Machiavelli’s end justifying the means tidbit, a little concerning to folks like me that are struggling with the anger, righteous and not so righteous, and negativity that are permeating the air we breathe these days both online and irl.
Thus, I was glad to then hear some further thoughts about recognizing long-term negative outcomes, cognitive debt, and alternative fuels. Travelling along the burning fuels analogies, anger fuels anger. Anger also is a quick-burning fuel that can then feed depression. In addition, witnessing anger whether it is directed at ourselves or elsewhere is still witnessing anger. The internet will provide you many bits of info on how witnessing bully produces negative impact on the witness even if the witness wasn’t the victim nor had a history of being a victim. The negative fuels can produce good results but there are rippling negative effects that aren’t always obvious.
The internet will also provide you with a range of 5-7 positives are needed to outweigh one negative. I guess the challenge is finding fuels that focus on the positive (perhaps check out Shawn Achor) to make the changes necessary whilst maintaining the good stuff in order to keep moving forward.
+. I enjoy working hard when I'm passionate about what I'm doing or saying
-. I work really hard when there's no time left and I'm the only one I can rely on
1. I know that I will feel really good when I overcame and solved the current issue/problem
2. I want to compete just to have a feeling of victory when compared to my peers
Hahaha! Loving this conversation you two are having.
This was a very good video. Thanks Hank!
I finally get to go to a Hank organised event tomorrow. From Melbourne, but start working from the US, and Hank decides to have VidCon there and make me home sick, at least now Hank has decided to have an event in a city I am actually in :) Thanks Hank.
Just in time for a new video!
1. That sense of what I hear many people call "flow" but I call "engagement". When I'm really engaged in something that feels super constructive.
2. Making sure I am doing something to some arbitrary standard because I'm worried that others will think less of me for not being able to do the thing as well as I should.