A SIMPLE PATH TO MINIMALISM | Why do we keep collecting things? And how to stop clutter
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ก.ค. 2024
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Today I want to discuss why we have such an urge to constantly collect and accumulate. Where did this come from? And how can we overcome it? Answering these questions may inform our pursuit of minimalism and even the process of decluttering!
Book mentioned in the video:
Goodbye, Things: The New Japanese Minimalism
By Fumio Sasaki
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Honestly if you watch hoarders a lot of the people ended up becoming collectors due to extreme grief, loss, trauma, etc. It's when someone you loved so much dies that you can't bring yourself to let go of their old belongings. Or when you got hit with a mental or physical illness that caused you to fall behind in putting things away. It's not always about connection but hanging onto things we miss or wish we could have had when we were kids or any number of things. I think that's why letting go of sentimental stuff, while being super hard, is also the most important step for healing.
I agree with what you said, and I like to add something more:
When I was a kid, I was very lonely. Both parents working a lot, my brother was a few years older and didn't take much interest in me, we lived in a very small (50 people!) village with no other kids my age. There was a lot of mobbing at school and even from my brother. Times were sad.
So, because of being alone so much, I started to collect stuff, which was often just clutter and garbage. Stones, feathers and shiny things like many kids do. As a teenager I collected magazines, books, deco stuff - I had SO MANY candle holders. Why did I do this? I wasn't alone anymore with all the things surronding me, and tried to find other happiness, because there where no people. Candles made me feel cozy, I loved to read and dive into other worlds, and so on.
This was a big issue and my room always a total mess. My parents where really frustrated, and after a while we agreed that I keep at least a minimum of order, so people can walk through and there is nothing rotting in a corner.
A few years ago I started my minimalism journey. I figured this out as a big issue, because my life changed a lot when I moved out of my home and went to university 10 years ago. I had people around me all day, made so many new friends, started new hobbies, joined some groups, etc. I didn't need all that stuff anymore. It was crazy, because all the old clutter from my childhood bothered me. It remembered me of a lot of sadness. So I let go most of the stuff, piece after piece. Most of it I gave a away for free. Some I even trashed. It was so good to do that.
My mother didn't get it, she is reallly holding on to things and I think her problem with that is very similar to mine. After I figured this out about my old stuff, I started to coach some friends and even my parents about it - just like you do on your channel. I always tell them there is no pressure, nothing is going away without their permission, I am just a coach helping them, but they are in charge. We talk about about the why and the how, not about the things themselves. It has been wonderful and people have been so thankful, and some started their own journey aswell.
To sum it up, I think loneliness is a big thing in this topic. Often we are told "if you have this, you will be happy". But a pair of jeans isn't a person, which you can talk you, cry and laugh with. It's the moments that add value to our lives, and most of the precious ones are the ones we share with others.
I agree with you. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing your story.
This is so true! I have 2 family members that are hoarders, both of them worked second shift, so they were alone most of the day. And, neither of them had much when they were growing up. So some purchases may have been out of loneliness, but also out of fear of not having things or being finally able TO afford things, and stock piling. Thank you for sharing your story!!!
In the past, I bought and accumulated decors and stuff out of a desire to own the things that I love to see so that I was happy. It was a relief from my depression or so I thought. I didn't give any thought whether or not I needed it, was it purposeful or would it end up cluttering my small apartment. As long as I had the money I just bought it.
It turned out to be just temporary happiness. As my apartment became so cluttered, my depression got worst.
To cut a long story short, I'm thankful to a friend who introduced minimalism to me. Decluttering my apartment helps to clear up my mind and shines my life. Seeing the new looks of my apartment, never before have I felt so calm and peaceful. I now realise that owning less gives me more happiness. With more spaces in my mind, I'm able to think reasonably and discover what my true passion is. Apart from reading, I love nature and is enjoying jungle trekking and photography. Most of all, every day after work, I come home to my clean, non-cluttered and neat apartment.
I like to watch your video because there is always something I can learn from it. Thank you for sharing.
Great insights! I think that getting rid of stuff without understanding why we have accumulated it all in the first place is like treating the symptoms of a problem without giving any thought to the root cause.
Thank you! And such a good point!!
I totally agree with this! I keep buying clothes that are neutral colored Bc I think it will give the impression that I'm a minimalist when in reality just not buying more clothes makes me one!
I think plain old marketing has a great influence on people's mindset of needing to constantly purchase the latest and greatest. They are good at creating a sense of 'dissatisfaction ' so that we will want more, better and different.
I love the feel of holding a book so comforting and relaxing
@charis hurt and smelling it and turning the pages!! I shan't go digital
I really like this video. I think the connection is important, but also I think that we are all prone to distraction. And marketers thrive in that state of confusion and discontent. I started minimalism backwards. I am just now getting going on it in the correct direction. It is a journey.
Collections can be valuable but it 100% depends on intentions. Usually if it actually creates and facilitates some sort of social interaction, I find it valuable. Not in the way of "oh this is a conversation topic" but in the way of creating a new way to interact or truly enhancing interaction. For example, I have a collection of china tea pieces and unique teas from around the world. This is valuable because it facilitates gatherings that otherwise wouldn't exist. People ask to come over to have tea because it is providing an experience they wouldn't find elsewhere. During these tea parties I get to deepen my friendships through the discussions we have and even help them with things such as stress or anxiety through which tea I choose to serve. It creates a unique way to show them an act of service and to create social situations that would not come about so naturally otherwise. If you have a special collection or any item that you are unsure about, ask yourself how it brings value to your relationships. If it doesn't improve existing relationships or make new ones, it may not be serving you the way you think.
That's a really important distinction you just made -- thanks for making it!
What a lovely way of finding and nurturing connection with the people in you life through your collection 🤍!
I feel like it's so easy to notice what is the most important and helpful thing in all of it: mindfulness. 🙏
@rae Hamilton that is so fucking cool!!!!
@@britt_2617 ☺️ thank you. Tea is my biggest hobby
Although I've been on the minimalist journey for over 5 years and have definitely made great strides in owning less. I don't think my reason for accumulating items was ever to impress others. I worked in a clothing ministry for 15 years and most of what I acquired if not all was free. I was able to give many needed items to hundreds of families as well as elderly people. I think the mindset of accumulating items is not always negative.
Great things to thing about! When you were talking about how novelty wears off I looked around my room and it’s interesting to notice what is still exciting to see (a vintage dresser and a piece I made myself) vs what I don’t care about as much anymore (a throw pillow and area rug I bought because I thought it was cute). I definitely think that it’s important to be intentional about what we bring into our homes and to think more about what values an item represents and what purpose it will serve other than “that’s cute!”
So true! There might be some things that do bring us joy for longer periods of time, and we can definitely reflect on how past objects have served us to be more intentional with our future purchases. Thanks for this comment!
I've just watched your video as a way to improve my English but, more than this, I learned about life. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and knowledge with us. Greetings from Cassino Beach (south of Brazil).
Aw, thank you so much!
💖🎉💲✔️🌟This video is so deep, true, & mindful I actually listened to it in total again & began excitingly reflecting. You just helped save me Thousands of dollar on just one purchase on my mind I was considering, & MANY more to come. Thank You! I have some things I LOVE that I've had for a lonnng time & still looks great or maybe need a light touch-up like a button or coat of paint. I was considering replacing some for something new but haven't found a replacement I LOVE. So this video made me ask then why do you want a 'new' one.... Pamper what you have & continue to Love it. 1 big thing in mind is my bedroom set I bought in 1999. I said I would replace it in 20 years. But I LOVE it! I've been looking for another for 2 years that I may like more & haven't found one. I'm going to update the few marble knobs that fell off, ask a neighbor to touch up paint it & keep enJOYing!
Great video, really good food for thought. One thing you didn’t address is the cultural pressure to buy more. One drawback to capitalism is the need for selling more, exponentially. Businesses are considered “successful” if they are constantly growing and therefore require shoppers to buy more. Advertising is the tool for generating the urge to buy, and they use every tactic possible to achieve this. I believe our need to be accepted stems from a deeply rooted sense of survival which requires acceptance. Advertising plays on this, even to the extent of saying we will not be accepted if we don’t have all the things. The core of this video addresses these feelings we have of being left out and that is outstanding. Once we are aware we can change our mind and discover that we can feel accepted without all the things. Thank you for sharing, it’s given me new food for thought.🙂🙂🙂
Really interesting point how societal consumerism and advertisements can play a major role too. Thanks for sharing!
My mom Was never a hoarder but we had a severe tragedy in our family of 5 after that she started hoarding and stopped cleaning her home. Collecting things is definitely a mental issue I've seen it all my life working at hospital. As for books I only need one the holy Bible it keeps me in a great place mentally and has made me a minimalist and a very loving individual
I’ve started watching videos on minimalism and decluttering our house. Thank you for sharing this valuable information. It’s important to ask ourselves why we want to buy something. It doesn’t do much good to clean out if you keep bringing more things into the home.
We do this bcuz we think we are not enough.
Hello Elin and thank you for your great channel! I think there is no big difference between a person telling everyone having a 300sqf walk in closet and an other person telling everyone having only 2 t-shirts because that is everything they need. It is important to know for yourself why you own things and not owning or not-owning things to impress others.
Good point! It's always helpful to look at the functions of our behavior--at either end of the spectrum.
This really made me think. Striving for minimalism is also a way on communicating.....hmmm. Any form of extreme behaviour may not be the best. I’m starting to prefer the terms simple living, and intentional living instead. Intentional comments to others as well. That being said I am very happy that I have decluttered loads of stuff. It’s a journey this life of ours..... thank you for your insightful videos.
Agreed. For me, once I'm done with a book I pass it on to someone else who can find value in it. If I'm studying a subject or using it for work I'll hold on to it, but this is usually a rare exception. I had a book collection once, but in the end, the book collection didn't make me any happier, it just cluttered up space.
I guess short answer is consumer capitalism which is corporations targeting and exploiting our insecurities which are triggered by this same system, and the vicious circle goes on and on. I guess the key is finding balance and internal peace, or maybe that’s the only thing we have left to fight back. Love your videos ❤️
Thank you! And thanks for this helpful comment. Yeah, it's s true that big companies can sometimes be trying to take advantage of our insecurities, and it's good to be aware of it.
It is important to analyze why we keep items we no longer use or need as well as decluttering to add to the value of your life and peaceful living.
I’m so pleased you are talking about this! It’s definitely something I’ve been pondering as I walk this journey. In addition to what you have suggested I think it is a cultural compulsion taught to us that comes from the same vein as the compulsion to colonise.
I felt really liberated getting rid of the books that I showed the version of me I wanted others to see about 10 years ago. A lot of the books we ones I felt I would read in the future (a future that never seemed to come).
I recently enjoyed passing a book on to a friend that I had enjoyed and saying to her that she was welcome to do the same when she had finished with it.
Fear of the future has been ingrained in me through being raised by Depression Era grandparents. So much I hold onto is literally useful in the RIGHT set of circumstances. Unfortunately, those have to be dire circumstances. I have a couple hundred mason jars. We grow our own food and need some of them but not all. I have tons of blankets, what if the power goes out? I have cabinets of medical supplies. We have back up generators, gas cans, butane tanks, food stores, ect. To some degree I feel prepared for the worst. But I am trying to divide preparedness from fearful hoarding. I'm not trying to impress people but what if the grid goes down? I'll need three hundred books to kill time, LOL.
I relate to this. If you've experienced scarcity, or been brought up by someone who has, it can be easy to keep things "just in case" you need them in the future. I had been getting better of letting go of things, but when the pandemic hit that fear came back full force. Now that things seem to be calming down, I'm trying to reduce again.
@@stephhellmer3264 Yep. There is some comfort in knowing we have prepared for hard times, we are being wise, even. We did not go into full panic like so many others during the worst of the pandemic so it was validation in our stocking up. But I don't want to feel weighed down by excess and ridiculous in my trying to predict every scenario either. Thank you for your feedback.
I love to read. Thank you for suggesting the goodbye things book. I will def check it out and let ya know what I think. I love your channel. Your a breathe of fresh air.
I love my books and have a small collection of read and to read, I read every day. My issues, insecurities need for social communication and connection needs are with clothing, I have way to many and it bothers me, so I am working on it. helpful video, Thank you.
Thank you! And such a good point that different categories of collections may have different amounts of meaning for us!
Thank you for your profound insightful video!
Thank you for the video. I totally agree to the message of your video. Appreciate your time.
Oof! This hit hard, in a good way. Hard truths that I needed to hear. Thanks for sharing! I recently found your channel and am enjoying the content :)
Really like your insights for your age. Your chosen profession has really opened your eyes early! Good for you.
Wow this is such a helpful video and I think more people could benefit from hearing this. I know I fall into the trap of buying new things for no real reason lol
By accident I found your channel but I'm so happy. Great content and love Minimalism concepts, keep up the great work! Greetings from another creator! :)
So well put!! Such a great video!! Really resonated with me :)
Wow..you speak so we'll..just love listening to you!!! Thank so much for your information 💕😘
Hi Alyn! I really love the relaxing and calm ambiance you inject through your videos. I have been reviewing a lot of content related to slow living and minimalism and the more I learn the more I feel this is the path I was looking for to stop collecting and finding contentment with who I am and the things I already have, that as you say, are trying to communicate something about me. I think besides covering our basic necessities and connecting with others, we tend to find a sense of security and prosperity through the things we have and accumulate; if food and shelter gives that, then maybe in our minds having “extras” will increase that feeling of knowing we are well prepared and have things figured out, like a boy scout that is always prepared because has a contingency plan set for every situation. We humans can be complex but, most of the times the answer to our problems can be simpler than we expect, that is the joy I have found in living a more intentional life.
Thanks for this incredibly insightful comment! It's so true that often the answer is simpler than we initially think.
Great video thank you !
This was a great video!!! I really resonated with what you said.
I love Goodbye Things! Nice job on the video.
I really love your channel and messages. You’re amazing. 😊 And I like that you address the hardships of this journey too. Thanks for all you do.
Thanks so much for the kind words!! Means a lot.
I like my new collection! I collect space and boxes with nothing into it 💨
I've been on my minilism journey for half of the year. Its definitely been challenging for me. I'm loving the results though.
I really enjoyed this one! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. 😊
Aw, I'm so glad! Thank you :)
LOVE LOVE this video... so true!! And feel like this is something I always need to keep in mind, especially when clothes shopping!! (I didn’t love the camera angle though 😢... felt like I was looking down on you), but loved everything else!!
Hola! Greetings from Perú the land of the Machu Pichu. Thank you for your videos.
Hi! Thank you!!
I grew up in the 50s and 60s and the accumulation fever was not yet part of American culture. I feel that much of this phenomenon is in part a statement on how hard we work , and the need to reward ourselves ,to have something to show for it. There is a cultural shift happening now where things as rewards are being replaced by experiences. We are evolving
I am one of those who do accumulate stuff. For me, it is fear of doing without from the past, security and also I love variety with certain things. For example, I have a bunch of purses. Different colors or designs. I don’t need that many and I am consciously now thinking about why I am keeping the purse, do I really like it, is it practical? Yesterday I laid out two of my Vera Bradley purses to get rid of. I love colors and floral and love changing the patterns. I feel like I need pretty colors and would go crazy if I had to have gray or tan walls like some do. It is hard to let go but with God’s help I am letting go little by little. My dependence has to be on Him and not stuff.
This was an interesting video for me. I recognize all those issues about fitting in and feeling we have value. I wonder what you think about minimalism and the desire to look a certain way. Sometimes I want my house to look super minimalist even when I would actually be more comfortable having more...but it doesn't look minimalist enough! Hahaha 🤣 People are social beings and we are sure motivated by what others think and even what they might think!
I agree with you. Also the Points mentioned in the Comments about loneliness and i guess wanting to See worth in seemingly worthless things is also a Strategy of wanting to find worth in yourself which you are currently not.
AT THE SAME TIME I Think even minimalism can function as a Strategy to Feel better than others, feeling more of worth because you don't Need so much. At least I can see that in myself sometimes when I feel supirior because i started this Journey and being reflective about buying Stuff and then See how other apartments look like. I don't know how is it with you?
This is such a great vid this is something I’ve been working on which is why I’ve been on a low buy challenge this year! I also recently started my channel on sustainability and intentional living ❤️
I love getting free stuff repurposing it or refinishing it and selling it or giving it to a good home. What I don't do anymore is hold onto items that I am not using. I have a 5 bedroom 4 level home and can easily fill it up. Only 3 people live in our home. I own a cleaning business and the amount of items people have is unbelievable!
Such a great, reflective video to help gain insight into our own drives and behaviour 💚 definitely guilty of book hoarding. My mood is a fickle little b and I need about a hundred options for every possible mindset 😅
I love your point about books. I’m in a minimalist group and a member said she likes to have books so people will think she’s smart.
It’s funny people think this, I wouldn’t think someone is intelligent based on their books in their home. I wouldn’t necessarily know who they belong to, wouldn’t spend more that a minute or two in someone’s home looking at them and most likely would have based this impression on speaking with them only.
I love looking at people‘s books, it tells me so much about who they are!! Drag me from their libraries...!! 😳
I think these reasonings that stuff is communication or connection relates to extroverts, but not introverts. I would be interested in drilling down to what stuff is to an introvert.
I've kept about 20 boxes of books for 32 yrs and letting most of them go but my top 20 was the best thing I've ever done xo well read lol no ..im.obsessed with books since I was a child
Great video! My fav of yours so far.
Unfortunately, I think humans have the capacity to tie any object to a memory (good or bad). As social and emotional beings, the more we have the more potential for connections between objects, events, people and experiences. I think this can rule the lives of many people.
Yeah, I totally agree! It's interesting how we attache memories and meaning to objects. And thanks for the feedback--it really helps me in planning for future videos!
Love this video!
Thank you!!
That was exactly how I used books!!
In our country I have often seen interior of rich people's ( mostly celebrities) houses which always includes books, and most of them are heavily subjected books, not a single light hearted story books!! Of course the interior designers are given instructions like my apartment should convey that I am well read, educated, intelligent person. I am sure 99% of those books are nothing but decor piece... Sadly commoners are also started adopting this trends... Results are.. unnecessary furniture items like shelves, racks full of books & junk decor items sometimes also!!
All true and useful information
Thanks!
Glad I discovered your channel. Greetings from a new subscriber
I think it's partly evolutionary (hey, fellow psychologist here!) - because the drive to collect has kept us alive throughout our entire existence, maybe we just haven't been able to turn off that need to keep collecting (or eating, for that matter) even though a big portion of us have everything available at our finger tips.
Good point! :)
What are your thoughts on prepping and minimalism… I try to prep but also have less stuff. I feel torn between the two. We are in crazy times.
this is deep
Number 1 reason for people accumulating stuff is security. Over thousands of years humans suffered and died because of limited resources. We collect because we are genetically programmed to do so. And we collect far beyond what's necessary because right now we can.
I used to collect books because yes, it will seem like I am well-read. But now I made peace with myself not really liking books. I mean, I do read but I am not in love with owning and collecting books.
Thanks for sharing! That's awesome that you have that self-awareness and acceptance.
To be fair, I don’t think it’s necessarily a “new phenomenon “. The rich and royals have always accumulated excessive belongings (maybe for the same reasons you come up with here). I think it’s kinda inevitable if someone has the money and leisure time to shop and collect. Industrialism and capitalism has just made wealth and “leisure time to shop” available for commoners 🤷♀️
Also I personally like having books - but try to contain it to ONE bookshelf and only books i LOVE (considering I read 60 books a year, I think that’s pretty good). Flipping through my favorite poetry books is extremely meditative.
With book collecting, the reasons for getting them and keeping them depends on the sort of books.
I agree...I think the word "collect".........should be a dirty word!
🖐🏼🙂
The text on your thumbnail is a little difficult to thread. The curse or cruise?
Good point though. I've gotten rid of so much stuff but still find myself eager to shop. For me it because I'm self indulgent and excessive. I want all the pretty things. Much of this focus does go in to cosmetics, hair accessories and clothing so I'm sure that expressing myself to others and connecting is part of it but I think another part is that it feels good to indulge in abundance. Saying that makes me think I may be focusing on making myself feel content or full in a way that I should go about differently. But sometimes I just want 5 new hair accessories because they're pretty and I want to indulge in the desire to collect pretty things.
Over-consumption is a thing. Perhaps China is to blame for this one, again. If it's cheap people will buy more . You have a good voice. Do you do ASMR?
@slice of light even looking at closets being made and offered in homes/apartments now in America shows how we have normalized owning more stuff. ...people own storage units!!! ....there are a lot of things we own and definitely don't need...darn capitalism
Dear Elin,
you mentioned that you studied psychology so maybe you already know him, but I feel like you would love the ideas of Mac Adam's about narrative identity. You said you enjoy getting to know people by listening to them talking about their past and their perspectives so maybe you enjoy him talking about narrative identity. I will leave a link here for you in case you're interested.
th-cam.com/video/ySDUoyL3KHg/w-d-xo.html
Hugs from Germany
Hannah
I rarely give a thumbs down, but this time I did. It is just a deluge of words, a clutter of words, a hoard of words. A simpler, edited, less wordy presentation would have been more effective and taken a quarter of the time.