WAITING FOR MARRIAGE | Physical Boundaries For Purity
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ต.ค. 2021
- It's a common understanding that Christians tend to wait for marriage, and that we are called to do so. However, I don't think there's always an understanding of why. I think there tends to be a perception the Bible says "that's bad, don't do it," but that is not the full picture. The truth is, God created sex and called it good - He simply created it for a particular purpose.
In this video, my fiance Tyler and I are taking a biblical look at God's heart behind His call to wait for marriage. We're also sharing the physical boundaries we've put in place to pursue purity. 💛
#DatingBoundaries #ChristianRelationships #Purity
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“You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify god in your body." | 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
"Like" this comment if you watched through the end to the blooper that made my face turn red...you know which one! 🤣💛
gravity is satans lie.... nasa is a lie... we live in a firmament ... water above us and below us .... great video though!!! #SoldierOfGods
I pray you both fully realize how blessed you are to have each other and how rare it is
Dress modestly and are women allowed to teach? Your husband seems to have it covered.
Hilarious 😂
The reason to get married is not because of burning for passion.
I was burning for passion for years now I’m not because with age passion goes away.
I love how comfortable you look resting in your fiancé’s arms. I want to be able to trust and feel at peace with my future husband like that ☺️.
This comment made me 🥺 I pray that for you as well!
I wish you exactly that and more
Sameeee
This is so sweet.
I had the same thought
I just want you guys to know that it is very hard to go from “nothing at all” to “go time,” after the wedding. Have grace for each other and make sure that being comfortable with each other and what does/doesn’t happen and not feeling rushed into things is the paramount priority after getting married. You can tell yourself “sex is good” but after a lifetime of thinking to yourself “I can’t/shouldn’t do this, it’s bad,” it will take a while to get over that conditioning. Lead with love and consent, hoping everything is great for you 🙏🏽
This is very important point, which is not talked about enough. I heard the same from the girl who was in 7 years relationship and waited till marriage. After she got married she felt blocked and uncomfortable during sex because she percieved intimacy as forbidden fruit before. It doesn't mean that celibacy is bad - it helps avoiding hurt, discerning if the person is right for us and makes pair bonding easier. It's just not so smooth and ideal as we imagine.
Thank you for your honest comment Monica. We have experienced so many problems and still do and I wish someone would have told me that Sex can be so difficult in a Christian marriage.
Heartbreaking, we both waited and got married later in life.
I’m so happy you said this.❤️
I so loved hearing Tyler speak! I loved all of his little nuggets, one of them being that Satan can’t create anything but only twists and warps God’s creation. Wow!
I do too 🥰 and such a powerful truth, right?! 🙌🏼
satan does not deserve a capital s.
@@Taniesha__ but that is his name and the Bible even spells it with a capital s
I’m excited for my future husband to find me and to be willing to wait. Thank you both for putting out videos like this. I’ve only had 1 relationship that lasted 10 years and thought that he’d be my husband after that ended my entire thought pattern changed. I know it won’t be easy but I know that it will be so worth it. ❤️
did you stay celibate in the 10 year relationship, and it still didnt work out?
the way that they look at each other 🥺🥺❤️❤️
This video was such an encouragement to watch as a teenage Girl. I know that waiting for marriage is Gods desire for us and I want to honor that. You guys seem like a sweet couple and I appreciate this advice from Gods word. ❤😊
So based
It's so refreshing guys. Because you were not married yet so you fully were understanding the waiting for marriage season.
I have been getting to know an amazing man for 9 months and we truly believe we will get married. And same as you we want our friendship and relationship to glorify God. And theres so much joy and peace in surrender and obedience to Him. Waiting for His timing is always the best 😊
I was prepared to “like” when you said that you both waited on each other and now waiting with each other, but when he said “then it’s go time,” I couldn’t move quicker to the like button 😂😂 super happy for you both! Now, back to the video!
Hahaha 🤣💛
I’m married but still gonna watch the whole thing 😂 so excited for you guys!
Lol love it!!
I’m so thankful for you guys and really bless to have found this video. Just last week I was questioning God on why I have to stay pure when I get engaged. God was really speaking to me through you guys. Thank you so much sister and brother in Christ. I will definitely be subscribing to your channel. Stay on fire for God!
Love Harper
Saving this video to show my 5 & 8 year old in 10 years!!! ❤❤❤ God is really using you to glorify Him and I really appreciate your openness!!
I love this video!💕It is hard to wait in the flesh but also easy knowing we do it with God, not alone in that. This video reminded me of the gospel and how sacrificing daily our desires for God. I love how you guys explained it in a biblical way but also the vulnerability with not being perfect at it either.’m so glad that I had found this page, very encouraging. And as a single person too it is also important to keep this in mind that desiring to wait.😊Side note: tyler looks a lot like kevin jonas to me for some reason (not like exactly but similar). 😂
Such a good, challenging but full of truth video, Kaci!
Yes! God's word is true. Purity is hard to find, but God forgives if we've messed up.
This video was put together so well! You guys did an amazing job talking about this subject :)
Thank you so much Kaci for this video. I was thinking about this yesterday and the video just came up today, so such good timing from the Lord. I really see your unity and purpose in your relationship with Tyler. You guys are such a kingdom couple!
God's timing 🙌🏼and thank you so much, Sadgi 😊
Thank you so much for this! I'm going to save this video to show my girls when we get ready to have the "talk". Blessing to you both!
Aw that is so cool - I pray God uses and speaks through it!
Kaci, this video was wonderful. You both did a great job.
You two are so wholesome and I love it. Every video I watch makes me feel better. Thanks.
Aw thank you Teddy! 😊
It reached me at a time I needed it. Thank you for the word😊
Yassssssss Matthew 6:33 🙌🏿🎉✨
This video is perfectly timed! Amen!
Woo! 🙌🏼
And it’s always ok to put more space between each other the closer to the wedding you get because it gets harder! And the devil so bad wants to screw it up and he will increase the temptation 1000x….😳😳😳don’t be afraid to just keep a lil more space between your bodies😘
🙏❤ thanks for the advice 🙏
It’s reassuring that men like this exist
Much much needed this..getting married on November 11... Thank you so much guys...
Aw congratulations!
Wow, this is incredible! Thank you!
Really Nice video. I think every single christian should av relationship boundries if they wana please God. This boundries weeds off the ungodly relationship and also directs you to the right ones. Am stil single due to my boundries and am soo grateful about dat coz wana stand right with God. Dis boundries comes wit soo much benefit and also directs you to the rightful christ centered person.
this is awesome!!! please do more!!
This video was very helpful 😊Thank you.
You guys are so blessed for the community you have. 😍 not every community is healthy like that. Hopefully the new church I found , I can find community in.
This is true! Community definitely takes time to build, and we are so thankful for the one God has blessed us with 😊
True that, it's hard to find such a community. It's my prayer that I find people that I can look up to and make them my accountability partners
Even for people that are not Christians, it doesn’t take a genius to look at modern dating/hookup culture and realize that sex does not work outside of the context of a committed relationship in which both people partners value each other. Look at all the hubbub on college campuses around rape culture and consent. It’s getting to the point where people literally have to get written consent from each other to perform sexual acts or else they could be on the hook for rape charges. There is no accountability, no responsibility, and no common sense. Just impulsive pleasure. It’s hurting young people, and it’s destroying the dynamics between men and women.
Fire is good, but if you play with it irresponsibly, you get burned. Sometimes, these burns take a long time to heal. Sometimes, they permanently scar you.
Well said
Love this...... I was always told to 'avoid the hazards of the horizontal'🤣 and that stuck with me until I got married 😍
Hahaha I love! Good advice and even better because it's catchy 🤣👏🏼
I am a virgin at 47.
I have been waiting 28 years since becoming saved.
Very hard to find a Christain wife
Keep praying and hoping, James--you're a fantastic man for sticking to Biblical principles!
Have you tried online Christian dating sites? My partner and I met on one. Also be willing to travel.
First to comment!!!♡♡♡btw luv u,God bless u and ur fiance and ur marriage.I wish only u two the best in this new chapter of ur life.God will be there with u every step of the way😇🥰
Thank you so much, Saige, it means a lot 🥰
Amazing video! Thank you so much for the insight 🙌🏽
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! 😊
Love this so much, thank you. Blessings
I know I've messed up an haven't set myself up for success. We didn't have sex but looking back it was not setting ourselves for success, granted the person and my past ex's werent believers so i 100% agree with ya'll. When you are both wanting to please God, it helps you two feel supported. Knowing how I am and comfortability, in the future when I find someone willing to work with me, I hope we can really put boundaries out of love
Beautiful message❤
The bloopers looool I love you guys can't wait for the weeding 🥰
Hehe they gave us a good laugh too 🤣 thank you! 💛
Wow, you guys seem so perfect, with each other and in God's word. I'm 32 and the path of God found me three months ago. I find myself being confused a lot. Ploughing through the Old Testament, the complete message does not seem to come through completely yet. And yes, as you said, the Bible does not reveal the full picture on this topic.. this makes people not do it out of fear, or they do it because the biblical statement of 'don't do it' seems too simplistic? Maybe I've been on this path too short. Please pray for me.. I pray that I find a husband that is in His word as much as you guys, and that I find my way in this too more and more.. I will definitely consider a time of celibacy again.
You are such an amazing and inspiring couple!!! So happy for you both! Looking forward to a double date sometime! 😊
Aw thanks Jonathan 😊 I can't wait for that day!!!
Love you guys!! God has provided you too together! its beautiful!
He truly has 🤗 thank you so much Cia! 💛
@@kacinicole Your so welcome!
God told me I wasn't to even touch the woman at all. This seems pretty lenient but I am not to make judgments about anothers relationship .... I think boundaries in Christian relationships is a personal thing and is worked out with the partners and God Himself.
Thank you for sharing your story. It is so nice to see and hear the younger generation honor Christ with your whole body. We will be praying for you all on this journey. Sex is a good thing and also a form of Worship.
Aw thank you for this comment and for your prayers - it means so much!
How is it a form of worship?
@@stepha2642 It was designed by Christ to be shared in marriage. Ephesians 5:21 calls us, as husband and wife, to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Sex is powerful. And purposeful. And pure in its design. Once a woman experiences the intimacy of being mentally, emotionally, and spiritually naked before her husband and feeling as if she is loved for who she truly is on the inside, her natural response will be to want to give the outside package physically to her admirer. Notice I said want to, not feel that she has to. Our desire to give our bodies as a trophy to the man who has captivated our hearts and committed his faithfulness to us sets the stage for genuine sexual fulfillment. Sex performed merely out of obligation or duty will never satisfy you (or him) like presenting your passion-filled mind, body, heart, and soul to your husband on a silver platter, inviting your lover to come into your garden and taste its choice fruits (Song of Songs 4:16) look up the book Every Woman's Battle: discovering God's Plan for Sexual and Emotional Fulfillment by Shannon Ethridge... Really Good Book.
Sooooo good, thank you both of you 👏🏼💛😊
You both are adorable, God bless you both. May the Lord bless your lives
God Bless You Both ❤️
Congratulations on 33k
Thank you for this
God bless you all!
Do you have any ideas or advice for people who didn’t wait for marriage and we’re exposed later to the idea of waiting? ❣️ Absolutely grateful for your experience, and the lessons/convictions God has brought to me through your amazing videos! Thank you Kaci!! And Tyler!!
I know you posted this a year ago but in the interest of maybe benefitting others in the same situation here's my advice. I didn't wait till marriage and came back to Christianity later in life. My partner has waited and we are waiting till we are married before intimacy. Firstly be honest with your partner and see if they accept it. If you are not in a relationship currently then use the time to build your relationship with God and practicing abstinence, I was celibate for 4 1/2 years before meeting my partner. During this time I healed a lot of the wounds that had led to promiscuity. Third: not everyone will want to hear this but sexual intimacy forges deep bonds with another person which we may not always be consciously aware of - ask God to remove these attachments. Four: When I met my current partner I had guilt that he had waited and I hadn't. Forgive yourself. I hope this helps
You dont have to or need to but you could always do what I did and just isolate yourself. Since im not a virgin I have no business getting married despite wanting it so I just give up. Once I realized love doesn't exist and the desire for a wife was nothing but an empty promise, I stopped asking god for a wife because it was pointless. So I watched a few videos to relieve the tension and that was it. Sure I still feel slightly bad about it but all in all, I just don't care anymore. Why wait for a marriage that will never come.
@@BansheeKing22 but why give up hope? That is one of the things that God does not call us to do, and despite not waiting, a wife will come if you are praying and giving your heart to God. I believe He has a blessing waiting for you that are better than anything you could imagine for yourself. Of course it's tough to wait or to go toward what is best, but we all struggle with that in life! And God wants to help us through it. He is a God of love. He will not leave you isolated 💕
Kaci when I see both you and Tyler speak there is a huge amount of respect for each other by not interrupting each other’s communication. That is a wonderful value to have. Kaci I did the whole marriage thing wrong. I have asked for forgiveness form our Lord Jesus Christ. We had one child then got married had a second child when he was 12 my ex was unfaithful. Please prayer 🙏 for me. My children are now 27 and 24. Where do I go from here. Should I remain Single or will Heavenly Father allow a second marriage. What are your thoughts? Sean 🌻
Thank you for this.
These two are so in love. I can’t 😍🥹
Really wonderful video be blessed!!!
Thank you so much!
@@kacinicole You're very welcome 🕊🤍 be blessed!!!
Hey small detail for just PRODUCTION of the video. Idk if this has been changed/fixed for your more recent videos, but when listening with headphones, there's a white noise throughout the whole video and no hate at all just wanted to put that out there. Maybe a way to fix it is get a different mic / add a soft low volume music or tones to counteract that . ❤🙏
This young man needs to spread the word to so many other young men. Unfortunately, this country is so far away from honoring God and following God's rules about sex before marriage. So many people just have a few dates and bring sex into the relationship which never ends well!
Western culture is against gods rule as always
It’s so sad to see 13 and 14 year old pregnant. There is quite a bit here in Texas
It’s sad that in our modern day and age it feels like nearly an impossibility to meet a woman that is saving herself for marriage. But nothing is impossible to God though. But even most Christian women I’ve dated have always “made a few mistakes in their past.” I don’t really pass judgment but yet it is objectively better for people to wait.
Truth in this awful world of temptations.
Put on the armour of God.
This video keeps popping up in my recommended, now it’s in my watch later even though I hadn’t started it at all. God really wants me to hear this message as I’m currently struggling with desires of the flesh. I’m 24 years old and have waited all of my life to have sex, my desire is truly to get married and have kids in Gods timing but it gets hard to wait. I pray God will speak life to me through this video. Thank you🤍
My husband and I are youth leaders and your video was right on point! No sugar coating , but also speaking in love to help others!! This was a great video!!🤍
Aw this is so encouraging, thank you Heather! 💛
Good and healthy relationships can be possible if we continually abide under the secret place of the most high God. Anything less will mad the relationship.
Hahaha loved the bloopers
The way she looks at him :)
Kaci I had a question, how do you manage telling someone your past? Do you tell everythingggg, or say nothing at all when it comes to your journey towards sexual purity? I am a Christian who is growing in maturity, yet I did not date God fearing Christian men, which caused stumbling in my walk. I accept, understand and currently want to seek to please the Lord even though it's not easy. How do you manage sharing this with someone and not getting too anxious of being judge or rejected?
Could you guys make a video on purity after marriage? I’ve heard so many conflicting things about this topic. I’ve heard everything from pretty much anything goes after marriage to a plethora of lists of things that defile your marriage bed. I’m genuinely confused about this 😅. I want to make sure anyone who I’m dating will be able to lead in a way that is godly and keeps us both pure while dating and after marriage. I really just want to serve God and do what pleases and honors Him!
Purity after marriage??? um why would this be after marriage?
@@cathyosborn9905I believe she means like. Is anal okay? If not then not doing it would be considered staying pure
There is no purity after marriage. Just don't bring others into your bed and you're fine. Anything goes. Oral, different positions other than missionary, its fine. Just dont bring others into your bed with each other.
@@BansheeKing22 i roughly agree with this person
@@BansheeKing22 I’m sorry, I should have clarified, this is what I was asking. Someone I previously dated had spoken about oral in amongst other things and I really wasn’t convinced that it would be honoring to God. I was just hoping to hear other perspectives since it really wasn’t something I had ever thought about.
such a Beautiful couple
My parents robbed me of this experience. I spent too many years living out my trauma seeking the wrong things to fix it. At 45 I missed this chance.
Hey, I just wanted to reach out to tell you that, although you didn’t share any details about what you were robbed from or how any of this happens, which is perfectly fine by the way, because that’s private. It did lead me to think about a book I completed a year after I got married and it’s called “healing for damaged emotions”, it really helped me to break free from the damage caused in my childhood, along with some counseling as well. I hope that this book can be a blessing to you.❤
Thanks
Hi Kaci Nicole.. I really respect virgin till marriage. I'm virgin too!😊 So both of you are also Virgin until marriage..? Please correct me if I'm wrong 🙏
How do you find this kind of community or mentors? 😅
How long did you wait together until marriage?
Helpful video thank u so much! But I have a question. I didn’t understand what he meant by “you can kiss your girlfriend good night but you can’t kiss your girlfriend goodnight? Could someone explain that to me? Thanks in advancr
This is really nice video 👍👍🙏🙏
But I'm little confused I don't know English well so.. Are they saying they are Virgin or they are just saying that they will wait till marriage for each other but they already have sex with other men or women. I'm confused Please clarify me 🙏
I have a friend that prepares brides for the wedding. She asks if they are Christian and if they are already having sexual relations. In more than 50 she said that only two Catholic and two Mormon girls were virgins. The other evangelical girls were all having sexual relationships before marriage. I've seen how girls dress in church. They want to be desired. Just look at any youth group.
Someone do me a favor and give me the time when they start talking about how to put in place boundaries. Thanks.
What if you’re dating someone who lives out of town and comes in town to visit? Have them stay in a separate room?
You are so lucky
One thing that non Christian people think is "How can you wait until marriage? What if he has a small..." Literally why is that their concern? I can only imagine people without God are just lustful and prioritize nothing but sex and desire. It is unfaithful and simply put, Gross.
❤️
i'm waiting 'til marriage too not because i want to but because no woman will go time with me until half my net worth is on the line
Super off topic but he kinda looks like Joe Jonas 😂
I'm 36 and male and failed miserably. I've never been married. Does God still love me?
3:04
He does. Don't give up hope and have faith. Jesus will bring you the right woman.
He does, even if you were the only person, he would have died for you. He has grace for you. Definitely he has a plan for your life. 🙏🏾
He loves you and welcomes every repentant sinner with open arms
Unless both people are 1,000% committed to purity, it won't happen.
what if someone never gets married?
stay pure
♥️🥺
Its destroying my relationship
Where does it say to wait for marriage? I did not hear in any of the biblical quotes that it said that.
“Now concerning the matters about which you wrote. It is well for a man not to touch a woman. But because of the temptation to immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. (1 Corinthians 7:1-2 RSV)
Should be pretty clear that sexual relationships outside of marriage are immoral and if you are not able to restrain then you should get a wife/husband so that you may have sex and it not be immoral. Likewise you should not devoid your partner of sex for they might fall to their temptations and commit adultery
So science is real nothing else is
Thank you for this wonderful video 🙏 I hope they are both Virgin if I'm not wrong 😊😊
Would you want to discern a call to marriage while taking heroine? Of course not! There's a reason why God spoke this to me (emphasis His) & ministers say, "You may NOW kiss the bride" & groom lifts veil & kisses bride. That is b/c the minister is acting in place of Our Heavenly Father giving His permission & blessing for His daughter & son to marry. [Note: in biblical times, there was no word sex nor need for it. To be married, meant to have married, to have been united spiritually & physically in sex as we understand word. Outside of marrying, the word was either fornicating or committing adultery, adulterating (making of poorer quality).] So, when it is said "You may NOW kiss the bride" upon completion of marriage ceremony honoring God, He also speaks the converse as in apart from marriage ceremony giving His permission & blessing "You may now NOT kiss the bride" & groom does NOT lift veil & kiss bride. Daddy God's no kill-joy! He only wants His best for us & is committed to helping us attain that. Back to how i started, attachment hormone oxytocin released during kissing (really, thru any physical affection) is stronger than heroine, & in marriage, is intended to cement couple in forever union (same hormone that cements mother & newborn during breastfeeding). None of us do life perfectly. Glad y'all had wisdom to fast from kissing while discerning if God was calling y'all to marry each other. God doesn't want us to marry the wrong person for us MORE than we don't want to marry the wrong person for us. & still, there's redemption when both husband & wife repent of thinking they knew better than God, or in ignorance, not doing things (in this case, courting) His way. Thank you for your witness...abundant blessings upon you both! ☺
I'm not a virgin so my desire for a wife is pointless. I just don't care anymore. Why wait for a marriage that will never come. Why hold onto empty promises. I just don't see a point anymore.
Everything is sin so nobody can feel joy or happiness
I’m so glad I can across your video! 🥹🥰
What happens if you find out that you’re not sexually compatible?
I don’t think that being sexually incompatible is possible. I think It’s something that we work on and It get better with time. If you are married It means that you have a connexion with that person so you won’t be sexually incompatible but you will have to work on this to know how to please your wife and It’s her responsability to ask you how she can please you. So It’s something you work on
I think the sexual incompatibility is a wordly idea because It’s not innate. In fact, the more you will have built a solid friendship before mariage the better the « sexual compatibility » will be once you’re married. Indeed, the soul, body and spirit are linked. We should be very careful to not be physical before mariage because It will end the process and building of frendship that we need to have a solid mariage
@@laFrancaise806 Brilliant !! This "sexual incompatible" topic mislead couples so much. Sex is not a primary need or a requirement in a relationship. Connection comes, spiritual and emotional compatibility comes first and if you have these things then sex will come naturally good.
^^^ couldn’t agree more with the commenters above. It’s a term that is thrown around a lot but I think it’s entirely made up. You’re married for life to someone you have a duty to love and cherish, work through it like you’ll have to work through a million other things that you won’t like about them. No person is perfect
@@awsambdaman sounds like you’ve never had sex with someone you’re incompatible with
Couldn't live like this i mean it's no body else's business
I honestly don't think that marriage is an excuse to have sex. That shouldn't be the sole intention behind marriage, having sex. Married couples should be able to live without it.
I see what you mean, but sex does have a spiritual purpose too. It’s how man and woman join together as one flesh. Yes your sole reason for marriage shouldn’t be to have sex, but God created sex as a way for man and woman to connect. Of course they should be connected socially and romantically before this
Then you marry and end up having no sexual chemistry and end up having a terrible marriage bc of that 🙃
That’s not a thing. Sex is something you work on. And if you’re already interested in marrying that person, that means you can connect intimately without any issues.
Studies have shown mostly likely going to have a better sex life. Look into it.
Or you live like the world and might have some good sex for a short amount of time in a terrible relationship, followed by string of terrible, broken relationships with faring “sexual compatibility” with men who don’t really end up being the one or guard your heart. Godly relationships aren’t built solely on that sort of thing.
The way you guys look at each other, so beautiful.🫠🫠🫠
Also I’m seeing this video after I watched Kaci’s video talking about singleness and than boom here’s her partner, God though ♥️
So good! ❤