Chris Distefano | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.พ. 2025
- Chris Distefano is a comedian and podcaster from New York who is co-host of Hey Babe with Sal Vulcano, and host of his own podcast Chrissy Chaos. Chris is currently touring the US with his "Chrissy Theaters Everyone Tour".
bit.ly/theo-von
Chris Distefano returns to the podcast to discuss love, meeting the mother of his children, his Amazon jewelry game, and pizza punishments.
Find Chris Distefano: / chrisdcomedy
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Music: "Shine" - Bishop Gunn • Bishop Gunn - Shine
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This Past Weekend
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Producer: Colin / colin_reiner
THANKS FOR HAVING ME ON BABE!!!! IT WAS CUTE AS F! I WANNA BRUSH YOUR HAIR!!!
Loved the love story, but the killing the family really made me rethink that 'cute psycho' behaviour
Chrissy Caffeines!!
Loved the story mate!
Love Chrissy and the Rat King together!!!
Chrissy Chaos killed it.
I like how Chris said "I can't say the guys name" while describing the most unique person I've ever heard of lmao.
😂 right. Even threw in “can’t say his name due to HIPAA”
😂😂😂
"He was having shoulder issues"
Threw in the university and years the patient was seen too lmaoo
@@rawdog9674 😆
Theo is so effortlessly funny: "the first girl i ever kissed had a chip tooth and they made us kiss, and we were in love. Well, idk if we were in love but we lived near each other"
😂
Look at Theo's hand @15:00
haha, went RIGHT over Chris's head!
Highest iq in comedy for sure
@@TheMmaConnoisseur_ LOL! Theo: "Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah; like BDSM?!" *_Chris:_*_ "Like a suicidal-type thing."_ Theo: "Like _Italian_ BDSM??"
Theo: I don't know if we were in love, but we lived near each other.
Theos mind is gold.
Maybe the most creative comedic mind ever as far as analogies go
Bro 😭
I actually have a genuine theory on this. Axis Ansari has spoken at length about his parents’ arranged marriage and it’s success and actual love. Now of course arranged marriages are super strange to us, but things are only strange to a mind and culture unaccustomed to it.
Point being, I know many of you have felt and believed the feeling of being in love with somebody, multiple different times. Our culture stresses the need for a “fairy tale” relationship, where you find your soulmate. And we’re constantly exposed to lust provoking images and ideas, instilling the consumerist ideal of constantly “needing” something “better.”
I believe human beings are inherently able to learn to love just about anything/anybody. And proximity along with exposure used to be the limiting factors in mate-finding, and I guarantee our great grandparents were much more content in their relationships and lives overall.
He says so many things that belong on a t shirt 👕 ❤😅
😂
Chris excitedly blurting out this story but painfully halted by theos random jokes kills me. But then for theo to give the nod again for chris to continue is just pure ecstasy.
Right!!! This one of my favorite episodes of a pod ever! So good. And these two are so comfortable w/ each other’s odd personalities are perfectly understanding the crazy tangents each other toss in randomly. It’s just the best!
He's the best.
In this episode: Theo asks one question and spends the rest of the episode listening to the answer
Is that what happens when Theo doesn’t a line with what the guest is saying….?
Chrissy d is the goat so it doesn’t matter still a good episode
@@fillbill2454 yeah it was good
Idk if I'd call it listening lol more like interjecting at the best parts
they just spent an hour talking about love and im here for the entire thing
Theo drops gems every podcast, but describing low-hanging balls as "the devil's mistletoe" legitimately made me cry laughing lmaoooo
Same lmao
So fuxkjng good. Nobody else saying shit like that either. Lol
That shit killed me stiff lol
OMGAAAWD!!! I only heard the “mistletoe “ part but “the devil’s mistletoe “ lnfmao!! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂ty!!! Fkn THEO!!! Those one liners are next level!!🤣😂✌🏼
He’s quick with the analogies
I think Chris just beat the world record for most words spoken during a podcast.
You're forgetting about Jesse Ventura.
Oh, so youve never heard of Bart Krishner
Yo Fr
Cocaine's a hell of a drug
“Chrissy 8 balls” ❄️ 👃🏼 🥶
"They made us kiss. We were in love. Well we lived near each other" I laughed for 3 minutes straight at that. Ha ha
Theo’s on brand commentary during Chris’s story telling is just THE BEST..
“I feel like I’m in an Uber x with no brakes.” I’ve never heard Chris D summed up so perfectly 😂
Lmao
Love how Theo only asked one question and it turned into this. Already wanting more
Yasss agreed!!!
Real talk
Yasss👍👍👍
Theo actually listens ..met him in a show in Texas and you could tell he was going to be great. This was before he blew up and it was really something. He does care and it’s been wild to see all that’s happened this past weekend over the years.
"I don't f*ck anybody out of an urgent care." Lmao I love this man 🙌🏻
Yeah that's some shiet
that and "I don't know if we were in love, but we lived near each other"
episode is stocked w/ quotables
I was crying 🤣🤣🤣
10:29 Chris: “& I got that bracelet”
Theo: *looks down disappointed* “I dont have it”
Theo doesn’t even have to try to be hilarious it’s just pouring out of him 😂
This cracked me up more than it should have 😂
So glad I have comrades out there that were hit by this small moment the same as I was. Had to play those 5 sec back like 20× to move on
I rewound this quite a few times. Hilarious 😂
That was hilarious ahahaha
Yoooo that shit got me too 😂
“Mine looks like Charlie Brown’s shirt kinda.”
Theo: draws invisible jagged line
Shit kills me 😂
Also, shout out to Theo for dressing EXACTLY like my elementary PE teacher. The first lesbian on the block out in Lincoln Elementary in Norman, Ok. Everything from the fit to the hair, ya boys upstairs. Praise God.
Yes babe
@@angrybuttlicker just for the sake of accuracy…this was circa 93-97ish.
@@rancewhite9312 early to mid 2000s you can still find them in rural areas closer to the city.
@UCAc4V2ze7gK2ZMLmkLDp4kA our lesbian PE teacher taught us the fundamentals of form tackling and the Oklahoma Drill with NO shoulder pads when the Oklahoma Sooners football team would come do a special assembly with our school. It was basically like the scene in 300 where the elders watched the children from afar, and if they succeeded in form tackling in the Oklahoma drills, we would be worthy, and if we didn’t we were thrown to the side of the cliff. This was boys AND girls just so we’re 100% clear on all the small details.
@@angrybuttlicker same bruh lmao, shoutout to Mr. Leech the first lesbian on the hardwood at Wilburn Elementary Raleigh, NC, usa
It’s physically impossible not to laugh with how many jokes are just being passed back to each other omg
Agreed lol this made me laugh so much. Much needed
Lol that's awesome Paul. I just commented something similar. Gang baby! 🤙
Lol these guys were just flowin
paid for comments
Two comedians having a “serious” conversation is always great because it’s half joking the entire time 😆
Even though he can hardly say a word, Theo is freaking killing it. Love him.
They did an incredible two bears one cave impression 😭
@@alec6948hahahaha youre absolutely right.
@Marcus Middleton That's a bad analogy bc Klay gets open looks bc the defense is focused on steph. So in your analogy Theo is the #2?
@Marcus Middleton ff
@Marcus Middleton f
It’s impressive how naturally funny these two are in effortless conversations
i love when theo gets nervous about the story & pulls his shirt over his mouth- he feels the feelings so hard! hahaha
I actually spit out water when Theo said "the devil's mistletoe"
Lmao same bro fuckin legend
@@josephkukaraywhite 36:31
That took me out 🤣
I love chris is like "shout out to the people still watching when we not doing jokes and talking about love" meanwhile i was crying laughing hearing them talk about it 💀
Theo*clinches jaw*: I definitely am going to go home and probably have more popcorn like I usually do.
Chris: Popcorn's not terrible for you though, man.
Theo: it's not terrible, but it's not a family.
🥺😂😂😂😂😂
For the rest of my life, I'm gonna find ways to throw that in 😂😂😂
That caught me off guard lol it's hilarious but kinda sad too
😂😂 which part is this i missed it
Found it 1:30:35
@@NotBocephus I was looking through to remember. I knew it was towards the end when Don/Dom came on. Lol
The most accurate representation of current North vs South is Theo saying "dude hold on, you're talking to fast, I'm trying to think" 😂😂😂
From a southerner 😂😂
I legit had to drop the playback speed to x0.75
theo has such a good heart man, i hope he finds the love he deserves
Theo, your friends are trying to tell you what everyone already knows! You’re gay! Just embrace it and find yourself the man of your dreams!
"you sing that like you're deaf"
I'm not even sure how i'm still alive after that comment.
Lol Chris says, "and this is gay, I love cock, when my dad's asleep " lol wtttf that's funny
That one got me! Couldn’t breathe!! 🤣🤣🤣
I really like how Chris acknowledges everything Theo says, and repeats what he says too. I feel like with podcasts and interviews everyone is just waiting for the their chance to talk. This is my first exposure to Chris and he seems like a legitimately genuine guy. It also seems like this is a real conversation without any bullshit. It’s so refreshing and I love it . Gang Gang!
I just started following Chris in the last year and now I watch everything he puts out. Dude is hilarious and a solid human being. His Patreon is amazing
@@joeangiello9784 oh, I will have to check that out! Thanks!
Yeah if this is the first time you've seen him you're in for a good time, hes one of the best!
@@Carmelita_____1 definitely search up videos of him talking about his dad. Those are hilarious. His dad is the most old school Italian American dad ever lol.
Damn can he take a min 2 breath.? Overwhelming with his Talk!!
As a real dad, this story fills my heart. That’s love. Chris, you just leveled up in the real dad club.
EVERYONE knows -self Real Dad claims- are just lowkey boxcar drifters.
-A Nice Guy
You mean a real dad that just nuts in a woman bc he feels too inferior to a guy he’s never even met?? That’s not a real dad that’s a real piece of shit
@@rodneyk4476 yeah I'm surprised nobody else has mentioned that he finished in her on purpose as she's trying to push him off.. honestly disturbing
@@jadesurber2051 THANK YOU! damn finally someone with some sense! I thought I was losing my damn mind reading all these comments talking about how awesome this guy is, he’s a piece of shit and NOT funny whatsoever. Thank you for pointing that out so maybe I won’t look like I’m just hating on the guy for just his lack of talent.. he’s truly a piece of human trash and doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as Theo
@@rodneyk4476 100% agree w you
"I been with some... Wounded antilopes" man Theo is such a fucking natural man, gets me cracking everytime
Chris is a funny dude. He’s definitely a successful comic but he could have made it as an auctioneer, salesman, politician or televangelist with at least as much success. Gift of gab is a good thing. Keep it up Chris!
It's the cocaine
@@emuccino It's amazing how few ppl noticed, i mean they were straight gacked out in the beggining lol
On shit loads of cocaine. Without? ...Hmm..
Yeah he said he had all that food in the morning. Screams last night I did cocaine 😂
I’m in love wit da coca!!! 😂 I have seen this guys face somewhere before but no clue how genius this would be when I clicked on it. I’m fuckin dead over here.
“I’m pretty sure he was having shoulder issues”
“Oh easily! What do you have left?” 🤣
As a black man I can genuinely say these two are my favorite pseudo racist.
#respect
lmfaoooo
This line is in my head till I die
LOL
@Dox TH-cam Employees thats what sudo implies brother
I don't know if we were in love but we lived near each other
-Theo Von
I think it is most impressive that Chris is actually a Doctor, but he rarely ever mentions it in any interview. Clearly he is full of confidence... We should all strive to be like this.
This is the duo we really need in a podcast. You guys have great respect and love for one another. You can tell by how yall riff off each other in all smiles. Apprecaite you two!!
“I appreciate your hope for me, and some of it I don’t” - Theo
Let’s get some love for Theo! Preferably a woman, but maybe a guy
Awww Theo's awesome, its just tough finding somewhat "normal" right now nevermind love lol😳
@@SalemSphynx true story
@@SalemSphynx Facts!
Bro this is insane Theo asked about how he met his girl and I am legitimately 35 minutes in and this dude chris is still answering the fucking question
Chris: But I wouldn’t NEVER kill my kids.
Yeah.
Chris: But I WOULD kill my stepson.
…yeah.
@Gold Man the fuck??
you are beautiful jessica
Don't end up on Court TV Jessica lol
That part killed mee 😂😂
You always think Theo is the strange one until he sits next to someone like Chris Distefano.
1:32:30 we all know how quick witted Theo's brain is during any conversation but this moment right here is the closest I've ever seen to Theo's brain almost being speechless!!
Theo is such a thinker, i love it!! He’s so adorable! He always seems to talk about relationships. I hope he finds a fantastic lady. Don’t settle Theo. Have a fantastic day! 💖
Agreed, luv him!
Apply for the position!
I volunteer as tribute! 😊
Theo Von is bunch of thoughts wrapped in a beautiful mullet wielding human body, praise God.
Gang
@@heatherdavis6679 Gang baby
*The accuracy!*
Praise god brother
Podcasts like this make it that much easier to tell depression to eat shit
Best Theo side comment of the podcast : “ I feel like I’m in a Uber x with no brakes “
You can see in Theo over the years podcasting he has been depressed at times thanks Theo for still bringing happiness to us all love you brother ❤️
That was the most open Chrissy has been with the details of his first pregnancy with Vin. What a lucky guy he is, he’s found the perfect companion for his chaos.
@Dox TH-cam Employees Chrissy Beatings
Chris Distefano's energy is just so refreshing. I almost feel like he would make a good evangelic pastor.
he is on coke and telling lies, so yeah he would make a great pastor
@@barryryan5187 how do u know he’s on coke lol
That'd be umm, something, wow lol😳
@@barryryan5187 Not all coke-talkers are liars fyi lol🤣I talk & think super fast cuz of anxiety but have ZERO energy i.e. worst combo ever:(
yuh especially with the rapey not pulling out when someones tryna push them off you because he was feeling inferior. Literally his words lmfao
make no mistake...I have responsibilities and things I need to do but when chrissy chaos visits the rat king, Im here for it and nothing else is getting done.
Also, Theo, get yourself a German Shepherd! They are great companions and you would look great sauntering around with one of those beautiful puppies!
Honestly couldn't love this ep more. Thank you boys!!!
Theo just wants to be loved and love someone. I hope you find that person Theo!!! You are such an amazing soul.
It's been one of those days man. Definitely needed this, thank you so much Theo.
gives a little light to anyones day no matter how rough it’s been. laughter is good for the soul 🙏🏼 hope all is well brother. gang gang
Zip it.
Hope everything gets better for you bro
Theo is the type of dude to go to a UFC event shirtless written ''Just Bleed'' on his belly.
Or the "Vagina Chronicles". Lol
I hope to start seeing this at alllll future ufc events
This entire episode is how Chris met his baby mamma. Great to hear ppl talking realistically in a public forum. Dangerous trends in this country
Theo's dejected "I don't have it." at 10:30 has me rolling
“If you want a good woman, go for a republican” 😂😂😂😂😂
100% true.
Absolutely right
Wow ya a republican like yourself, that's easy on da eyes...Pretty eye's by the way
Rather date a republican than the polyamorous, he/they women
Theo nailed it in reference to young love back in the day... "We were in love, well we lived close to each other anyway." 😂
Chris really is like the personification of my ADHD brain
i was thinking the same thing lmao
If neurodivergance was a podcast, I love it
Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people because an upsetting event occurs in their lives taking them by surprise, unexpectedly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death.
While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes.
Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way.
It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......
@@KyleBGanger I read it, shit was tight. Philip K Dick novella.
Lmao yep 🤣 that’s why his podcast is a favorite. And hey babe.
It’s funny how 2 comics together literally can’t get through a story because they’re constantly getting side tracked by little jokes from both sides lol
"You're singing it like your deaf, I like it"
😂😂😂😂😂
I HAVENT BEEN THIS EXCITED FOR AN EPISODE!! I love Theo and Chris, and love them together. Two very sincere and kind souls.
Keep the love flowing gentleman thats what we all need
Chrissy d and his wild stories go perfectly with his freestyles. Chrissy on lead guitar Theo on bass.
The things Chris says with a straight face sometime lmao!! 😂
I could listen to the chaotic conversations of Chris and Theo for the rest of eternity and I don’t think they’d ever run out of wild shit to say 🤣
One of the most entertaining episodes to date imo, chris is truly a hilarious guest and his energy and theos work together so well.
Chris is funny as hell man. Love to see him and Theo chopping it up.
The chaos takes over no matter what show chris is on
He brings the entertainment and even life advice 😂 1:05:00 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
"Feel like I'm in a UberX with no brakes in it" 🤣😂🤣😂
My favorite line lmao so good
I've watched Chris in 2 podcasts so far, and he's become another entertainer I really like, he's hilarious.
"like Italian BDSM" says it with a straight face like it's normal 🤣🤣🤣
Theoo you’re the best !! Thank you for being you
he is literally my favorite guest youve had, Chris always makes me laugh and he seems like such a fun and nice guy
So annoying
This was one of my favorite episodes from a podcast I've ever watched
"...and does he have a spine or not...?" Man that's a great question 😂
This is probably the best story I’ve ever heard, makes me like Chris a lot. Great episode Theo
THEO: you had sex with a woman on dialysis?
CHRIS: it wasn’t a proud moment
"Was it GOOD for her?" She'd be dead without it.
Theo you can do it. You only live once. Having your own family will probably be your key to Happiness and Mental stability
Being Italian-American from NY, Chris is like every kid I ever grew up with 🤣🤣🤣
This is my favorite podcast episode. I love Jasmin. It’s nice to hear Chris tell this story
Hope Theo finds love in 2022. Rooting for you brother
Destefano and Theo are such gentle souls I want more of this
That was a beautiful rendition of Eric Clapton 😂
“Why do sound like a deaf guy when u sing “ was fucking perfect
You’re singing it like you’re deaf, I like it.
😂😂😂
😂😂😩
“The devil’s mistletoe” 😂
On the verge of hitting 1 million subscribers. You earned every one of them. Congrats.
It's weird. I felt the same way with my wife. I don't know if it was love at first sight, but I felt something different with her than every other girl I was with. We just had our first child together too. Crazy how life goes.
That’s cute
Just had my son 24 hours ago and I know exactly the feeling you mean. Couldn't have done this with anyone else.
If Chris brings up his leading man face, best friend body, I'm going to throw my phone
He’s definitely got his wires crossed thinking this
Y'all are on noooottttiiiice
What type of dinosaur was the “leading man?” Never heard of it.
Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people because an upsetting event occurs in their lives taking them by surprise, unexpectedly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death.
While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes.
Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way.
It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......
@@AgendaInMind copying and pasting isn't very smart
Best conversation I’ve Hurd in a while
“Got them long nuts, son…. The devil’s mistletoe” LMAOOO incredible
I know this is someone else’s studio and he usually has those 2 chairs or sitting across a table but the late night show style theo sitting at a desk and multiple guests on a couch is actually a vibe that really works for him
It’s howie Mandels studio
@@mattheworcutt8034 yes……
Just what I needed this morning, thanks a lot Theo, hope you're good brother
PTL
Same
Gang
Same, gang shit...
Amen bruh
Theo closing in on a million!
Gang bruh
Yo Theo, Chris D, I truly appreciate the cast. Much love to both of Yun’s. May love & peace be with you.
We need you around Theo ... just chillin or entertaining as you do ... it's a better world with you here in this day an age
“Does he speak at churches?”
What up GM!
I know exactly the guy he is thinking about
Nick Vujicic, he's amazing. And definitely not dead!
I couldn’t create a more perfect pod episode, love you both and Chrissy romance was in full force
Yes boi! Happy we got Theo pumping out the hitters 🙏
This entire episode was comedy gold. These two are made for each other 😂😂
I hope Theo finds that woman that he can finally fall in love with. I think he needs that in his life.
i am right here